Trumpets

Chapter 9

   Let it be said I hate anyone who adores fashion...

   Our little trio was walking to someplace I ever heard them talking about called the Carousel Boutique. Yea, I know. The names are NOT NORMAL. Nothing is normal. Magic is not normal. Talking ponies are not normal. Flying ponies are not normal.  Me being a pony IS NOT NORMAL.

   They were chatting away about whatever female ponies talk about. Probably about what the best hey is to stay slim. Or the best conditioner for your fur.

   Oh yea, these ponies shower regularly. Luckily. It'd probably smell like the inside of a silo if they didn't. Oh, and they don't just shit anywhere like normal ponies. I am ECSTATIC about that.

   We arrived there and, as like most of the houses, was a crazy looking house that looked like it came out of a child's imagination.

   Oh, by the way, if you ever get lost, Hunter, just go to the GIANT FUCKING TREE. That's we're you are staying. It doubles as a library, as well!

   We walk inside, me holding the door and not getting and thanks, and greeting by a ringing bell atop the door. "Just a minute!" a voice that just spilled with 'sophisticated' called. Soon, a white unicorn with well pampered hair came in. "Hello Rainbow Dash, Twilight. How are you? And who is this handsome Stallion?" Yup. She wanted me to do something. 'Probably model or some shit.' I thought. 'Doubt I'd match with anything.'

   "Rarity, meet Rusty Trumpet. Rusty Trumpet, meet Rarity," Twilight did the whole meeting thing.

   "Pleasure to meet you," Rarity stuck out a hoof.

   And I shook it.

   LIKE.

   A.

   BOSS.

    The three girls chatted a bit before Rarity asked me the question I know was coming. "Darling, you just have to model for me! You would be perfect!"

   "Yea. Thanks, but no. I do not want to put myself through that. It's just not me," I answered as politely as I could.

   She begged and begged but I was immune. There were many dogs that begged me for the little food I had were I 'lived'.

   I'm glad to say I only gave food to 12 of them.

   Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and I left soon after, and Rainbow Dash flow off to do whatever se was doing. I wasn't paying an once of attention.

   Twilight and I arrived back at the tree and I was relieved to finally stop talking. "I was going to let you meet Fluttershy, but she is a bit... Shy. And Applejack is probably at her sand, and I didn't want to bother her," She says as soon as we walk inside.

   It's funny because she saying it LIKE I CARE.

   "Hey, Twilight," a prepubescent male voice of a 12 year old called from... Somewhere.

   "Hey, Spike! Meet Trumpets! He's staying here for awhile!"

   After a minute, fucking Spyro came in front of us.

   No, that wasn't a misspelling. He looked quite a bit like Spyro.

   "What's up, dude?" The Spyro look alike said.

   Now, he IS a dragon. I would've been freaked out at this if it wasn't for that book I read in the palace/castle/ whatever. It was of Dragon Mating Habits.

   Hey, it was interesting. I mean the females tongue is so long and...

   Fuck, dude! That's nasty!

   "Sup," I say back to him.

   That little thing over with, I trudge upstairs and climb into the bed. I swear I walked like 50 miles today. I was tired and didn't want to meet any more retarded friends. "What are you doing, Trumpets?" Twilight asked from downstairs.

   "Sleeping," I answered.

   I ignored any other questions.

   I was going to fucking SLEEP.