Trumpets

Chapter 14

   I was awoken on  by the dreaded sound of hooves banging on a wooden door. I groan as I roll out of bed. 'Ah, morning wood, I missed ya!' As a pony, I had morning wood, but it was... Different.

   I don't really want to talk about it...

   I answered the door and lo and behold, the same made from the first time I was here greeted me. She looked a lot less afraid, but you could tell she wasn't really comfortable around me. "The princess told me to bring you to get your armor fitted," she told me. 'Oh yea, I'm a knight or some shit. ' I shrugged and followed her.

   I don't know why but this walk was way longer then usual. Probably because I was actually paying attention this time and for the fact we weren't going to see Celestia. Yea, that could be it. I noticed this castle/palace was pretty elegant. Modern for the less technologically advanced ponies. (Compared to us humans.)

   We arrived at a weird looking door that looked very eerie. The maid opened it- less scared of this door that just reeked evil then me- and revealed a stone spiral staircase. Yea, like one in a corny horror movie. I sighed as I followed her down the dimly lit stairway.

   About 350 steps later, we arrived in a stereotypical black smiths shop. 'How the fuck is this in the princesses palace?' I thought a I looked around. All sorts of weapons and armor made for ponies were hanging around. The room was lit my one lone torch and behind what looked like a counter stood a very dark looking pony with a scar down his face. "Oh, yes. You must be the new knight, yes?" the pony said in a deep Russian accent,leaving behind the counter and coming up to me, not scared at all. 'How can any of these ponies have and accent like that? Come the fuck on!'

   "Sadly, yes," I replied. I noticed the maid wasn't with me anymore. 'Fucker.'

   "I have not worked with a creature like yourself before. I was told you were a Human. Tell me, is there any parts of the armor that should be stronger then others?"

   I thought of a few, but named one as I wanted to get the fuck out of here as soon as possible. "My boys down low," I said, pointing to my crouch.

   He smiled. "Your boys. Yes, I think I know why." He pulled out a tape measure from... God knows were. "Now, I will need to take your measurements."

   "Ight, that's fine. Make it quick."

   And that he did. Abodda bing, bodda boom. I was in and out. He needed no distractions on making my armor, and left me alone to show myself the way out. Which I did. I pissed my pants a little, but I made it out.

   Then I got to thinking why they'd need a knight or blacksmith in the first place considering I was told this is a very peaceful place. 'Meh. Everything has its reasons.' I shrugged at my own thoughts and started to whistle as I skipped down the hall.

   Skipping...

   LIKE.

   A.

   MOTHER.

   FUCKING.

   BOSS.