Trumpets

Chapter 16

   The cheering died down and the shit band resumed their songs. I hopped of the stage (Which, even though the armies light, it's still restricting.) and pranced over to the snacks (all disgusting) and beverages (non-alchoholic) setup. I didn't spare the foods one glance as I took a cup and filled it with the punch. Surprised a very sophisticated party like this would have shitty beverages like such, but whatever. 'God, how I wish I could spike this.'

   I was drinking alone. In a corner. By my self, not forever alone. Forever available. Which is extremely accurate due to me not going to fuck any ponies. I'd rot in the ninth layer of hell with Hitler of I did. 'Hey, If you do, Hitler would love you, wouldn't he? Blonde hair blue eyes?'

   Yup. Just me and my fucked up thoughts.

   I'm not fucking a horse, though.

   I was approached by Celestia who had something in her field of magic. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out it was a sword. It was in a rainbow sheath...

   A fucking rainbow sheath...

   "I almost forgot to give you this. Not only is it your weapon, it is you badge of knighthood." she said, handing it over.

   I unsheathed it and saw it wears a yellow handle and the same design as my gay armor. "What is it called? The sword of a thousand fags?"

   "It is whatever you wish to call it."

   'Yea. Don't acknowledge that I called it gay...'

   The rest of the party was uneventful. I learned cider was there equivalent of beer here. It was non-alcoholic but the sugar content could make a grown man look like he's on crack. It made the mares standards low enough to hit on me. There wasn't nearly as many dirty words as a five dollar hooker, and I was disgusted. So I (not so) politely turned them down.

   I mean what do they give? Hoof jobs? Dammit, that would hurt.

   Again, I'm not fucking a horse nor losing my virginity to one. That's probably the only thing I have left due to me being a knight.

   It suuuuuuucks....

   It sucks more then a 5$ hooker. (BOOYA! Used twice in a row mother fucker!)

   As the party ended I took my Sword of a thousand fags with me and took over a nearby room to sleep.

   And nothing else happened. What else were you expecting eyes that SHOULDN'T BE READING THIS.

   It's probably Celestia or some shit...