Trumpets

Chapter 17

   It was probably the best (and messiest) dream I'd had in a long time. Got a happy ending from an Asian masseuse. Fuck yea!

   So, anyways, besides the great fucking dream (and ruined under-ware, which sucks since it was my only pair and I have to go free ballin' now) it was a less then great day.

   So the maid knocked on my door again and I happily answered. She told me to pack my bags and get ready to leave. Something I'd suspect my dead parents to say. Well, I complied anyway, though I don't know why. SHE HAD NO POWER OVER ME!

   I packed my armor and sword and... That's it. That's all I have to my name... Pretty damn sad. Huh...

   Well, I walked out and saw Celestia waiting for me. "And why didn't you knock?" I asked.

   "Well, I thought you'd enjoy her to," she answered.

   I shrugged. "What is it that you wanted to wake me this early?"

   "You are going to stay at my student Twilight Sparkles home. You stayed at hers as a pony, if you remember."

   I just stared at her.

   "What? You didn't suspect me to just have you stay here, did you?"

   "Uh, yea. I kinda did. I'm a knight, so shouldn't I protect her highness?"

   "I have more then enough guards to take care of me."

   I sighed. "What ever. You teleporting me?"

   "No, you're taking a carriage."

   "Uh, isn't that like... Not possible? Isn't there no direct route to Shitty Ponyville by ground? Or am I just soo unfamiliar."

   "That and you are taking a Pegasus carriage."

   "Great." I said sarcastically. As I should know, I get EXTREME air sickness. So this should be fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOLY                                      NOT

                         FUCK

                                          FUN!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   After a quick ride and puking twelve fucking times, I arrived in the hollowed out tree. I was greeted by an overly-happy Twilight and friends inside said tree. Fluttershy was in a corner, and the rest weren't scared one bit (on the outside.) I barely spared each looks as I put the armor in the room I stayed in before (and now the bed is sooo much smaller.) and went back down the stairs. I plopped down on the floor in my shit clothes. "Yello. You already know me, except with a different name. Rusty Trumpets. Pretty bad, I know. Call me Hunter."

   Rainbow was the first to speak up. "Why would we call you that? That's a horrible thing to call somepony!"

   "Well, I aint no pony. Plus, that's my real, legit name. Go find my dead parents and take it up with them if you have a problem with it."

   Well, that wasn't the best thing to say...

   "You're parents are dead?" asked Twilight.

  "Yup."

   "When did they die?" Rainbow Dash asked.

   "Rainbow, ah don't think he wants ta talk 'bout it." Applejake said to her.

   "Nah, it's fine. It happened when I was 16, about 2 years ago." I answered.

   "Aren't you sad?" Pinkie asked, for once not saying what's on her mind.

   "Was. Learned you have to put everything in your past. It's better that way."

   "But don't you want to talk about it, darling?" said miss annoying Rarity.

   "No, and if you force me I swear I'll kill myself right now."

   There was a gasp. "How could you joke about anything like that?" Twilight said.

   "Who said I was a joke?"

   That cause silence.

   After a minute of that, I clapped and got up. "Welp, I made it awkward, didn't I? Well, let's go and see around this one horse town. I am pretty bored. So, la-la-Lego!"