Chapters "Ugh. Why are mornings so bad!" Mumbled Alex as he awoke from his bunk.
Usually he would not be this cranky, but he had a reason to be. He had testing today. With the Colonel. Lt Col. Charlie Merit was the most despicable person you could know. He had a habit of making other people feel bad, and he especially liked taking out his frustrations on Alex's flight squad, "Piledriver".
Charlie had told Alex that the scientists on the camp were working on a prototype teleportation device for vehicles, and his squad had been picked to test it. Personally Alex thought that the idea was a load of nonsense, and it was just the captain trying to make them feel worried if something went wrong. Alex's suspicions were soon confirmed as the scientists had said this was only a prototype, and anything in the realm of physics could go wrong. Of course, they did not actually say that, it was just a habit of Alex's to over-exaggerate what he had heard. But even if the test did go quite smoothly, Alex did not particularly like the idea of his body being de-constructed into particles. Mainly because it would not be the original Alex, just an exact copy.
"Yo Alex, why so sad?" chuckled Daniel. "We have teleportation training today, remember?!"
1st Lt. Daniel Century was almost always able to cheer Alex up, and he was given the accolade of the funniest member of Piledriver.
"Yeah, exactly."
"Oh come on Alex! If it goes well then we will be the first humans to teleport!"
"I know, but that's just it! It should not be 'If it goes well', it should be 'When it goes well'. I'm just worried that it won't work and we'll all be fried to a crisp or something."
"Can you guys SHUT UP!? I'm trying to get some sleep here!" shouted Connor.
1st Lt. Connor Usborne was the most random person in the squad, and was often given the nickname of 'Derps' because he was able to cross his eyes, and plus he had no distinguishable intelligence.
"Connor, we have to get up now. It's testing today, remember?" said Daniel.
"Aww crap, it is as well! Dammit." mumbled Connor.
"So you agree with me?" inquired Alex.
"Nah. I'm just annoyed that I had to get up! I was having a great dream aswell..."
"Stop moaning and get up, you lazy SOB."
Over in the next room, they could hear humming, which meant that Rhod was awake. 2d Lt. Rhod Actual had only been in the squad for two months, while the rest were 1 year veterans. Rhod also had a pretty, lets say embarrassing secret, that wasn't really a secret because the whole squad of Piledriver knew it, along with some of the high-in-command staff. Rhod was one of the teenagers that liked anthropomorphic cartoon ponies, and he was not very proud of the trait either.
As they approached Rhod's room, they could make out what he was saying, which turned out to be singing.
"I can't remember, what happened in September. When everypony died and it's dark and i'm alone. It's been forev- Ahh!"
The entrance of Alex startled Rhod, and he jumped almost three feet into the air.
"Jeez, what is it with you and those damn songs. You really need to grow up, dude." said Alex, sarcastically.
"What? I can like what I like! If you can't let me like what I like then that's discrimination!" shouted Rhod, his cheeks flushed.
"Oh i'm just playing with you. Come on, load up and lets get to the briefing."
"Oh yeah! We have the testing today! Who is taking the briefing?"
"Ugh," Alex said with a sigh. "It's Lt Col. Merit"
"Oh dear god no! I hate him!"
"Don't we all. Now lets just get locked and loaded so we can get this over and done with."
"Yeah, I guess."
Now dressed and ready, the squad made their way over to the briefing tent. All of them were feeling pretty exited, except for Alex. He was very worried that the testing would go wrong and he would end up getting eaten by a giant fish or something.
"Alright you filthy little maggots! Here is what is going to happen." shouted Lt Col. Merit, at the top of his voice.
"Scientists have come up with a theory that allows jets to travel across large distances in incredibly short spaces of time. For this experiment, you will take off from runway 56 at 1600 pm today with the prototype teleportation module attached to your vehicle. If the experiment goes to plan, you will reappear near here," Lt Col. Merit said, pointing at a marker on the board. "But if it does not go to plan, you will reappear somewhere else. And to be honest I hope all you maggots die in a fiery inferno of what was once your planes. Any questions?"
"One!" shouted Connor.
"What?"
"What will our formation be called?"
"Oh, yeah. Rhod has asked if the formation can be called the 'Friendship is Magic'."
Alex facepalmed.
"Rhod, may I ask why you decided to name the formation after a stupid childrens show? We know you liked it and all, but did you have to take it that far?" asked Daniel.
"Okay, maybe I did go a little far, but I can't help what I like!"
"But it's a childrens show"
"It has good animation!"
"It's a little girls toyline!"
"But it has great story!"
"I don't understand how anyone over the age of 6 can like it! I just don't get it!"
"Watch a few episodes with me and then we will see who is laughing!"
"To be honest I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill!"
"QUIIIIIIIEEEEEEET!" screamed Alex.
"Uh, can I remind you that you are still in a military station and you should keep your stupid childish arguments to yourselves!" shouted Lt Col. Merit.
"Sir?" inquired Daniel.
"What?!"
"You have no idea how much I hate you."
Meanwhile in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie was having a very, VERY troublesome day.
"Pinkie, come on. I'm sure it's just a malfunction or something." asked a somewhat confused Twilight Sparkle.
"But Twilight! It's never twitched this much before! The way my tail is twitching it could mean that something as big as a manticore could fall!"
"Oh now that's a bit of an overreaction."
"Nope. As I told you, it's never twitched like this before! My tail looks like Winona's when she's about to be fed!"
"Look, there is nothing I can do that can make it stop. But, may I ask when this thing is supposed to fall?"
"Umm. I think round about 4:00pm. But can you please help it?!"
"I'm sorry Pinks, but as I said there's not much I can do for you now."
"Aww... Ok..."
As Twilight left Sugarcube Corner, she couldn't help but feel a tiny bit worried. What if Pinkie was saying was the truth? What if the thing that could fall crushed her house? She convinced herself that she was just being a nervous Nellie, so she stopped thinking about it. She would just have to wait for 4:00pm to see what, if anything, would happen. That reminded her; she was meeting Rarity for lunch at 4:00pm. Maybe something would happen then. But she assumed nothing would.
She was wrong, so very wrong.
"Okay squad, report in" Alex said through his headset.
"1st Lt. Century in Aircraft Lightning, reporting in."
"1st Lt. Usbourne in Aircraft Breakdown, reporting in."
"2nd Lt. Actual in Aircraft Rainbow Dash, reporting in."
Through the headset you could hear a faint slap as Connor facepalmed.
"Gunr. Recoil in Aircraft Cargo, reporting in."
"Woah woah woah, who the hell is this?!" asked a confused Daniel.
"Oh, the Colonel asked us to accompany you because, and I quote, "They cannot be trusted for all the Bon-Bons in the world!", and Colonel LOOOVES Bon-Bons so that is a pretty heavy insult because that obviously means that he do-"
"OKAY, I get the idea!" shouted a frustrated Alex.
"Anyway, Colonel asked us to tag along because we have some weapons on board, and the nearby base was running low on supplies. And where you guys are supposed to come out of teleportaion stasis is only 1 click from the base, so, here I am."
"Ok, lets get this underway then. All pilot security checks complete squad?"
He was met with a chorus of "Eeeyups" as they heated up their engines.
"Okay, Daniel take point, Connor and me will be on right and left flank respectively, and Rhod head up the back. Base, we are taking off, please clear runway 56, repeat, clear runway 56."
After take-off, the flight went smoothly. Well, atleast for the most part. As they approached the deadline marker for teleportation, they got a radio call from none other than Lt Col. Merit
"Okay. You are now approaching the deadline. Teleportation test will commence in the next 120 seconds. Stay frosty, over."
"Got that, sir. Over."
"Okay, 25 seconds left, good luck gentlemen, good luck. Over and Out!"
"Okay, here we go boys. As he said, stay frosty!" said a mildly worried Alex through a headset.
"Roger that."
"Got it."
"Lets get 20% cooler, lads!"
"Ugh. 10 seconds!"
"5 SECONDS!"
"3, 2, 1!"
The last thing Alex saw was a flash of purple light, then he was knocked unconscious.
Twilight Sparkle was making her way over to the carousel boutique, still a bit confused at the events that occurred earlier today.
"Boy, Pinkie Pie can be so random." she muttered to herself as she wrapped on Rarity's front door.
"Oh, hello there darling! I truly am excited! When was the last time we did something together, just the two o-"
Their idle chit chat was interrupted by an ear shattering "BWOONG" .
Twilight jumped nearly 3 feet into the air, and Rarity was just stood there in complete shock.
"What in tartarus was that?!" shouted a disturbed Rarity.
"I don't know, but it can't be good!"
Rushing outside and looking up, they saw five pegasi shaped objects, one much larger than the other four. She watched in horror as all five of the objects smashed into the place that nopony dared to tread; The Everfree Forest.
As the objects hit the ground, there was a loud explosion, and smoke started rising up from the canopy.
"This REALLY can't be good!"
The explosion had gathered nearly all of the town's attention, and ponies were all just staring at the smoke cloud in horror. They all had no idea what had happened. And neither did Piledriver, except for one member.
Alex awoke to the sound of crackling ashes and intense heat. As he opened his eyes, he was met with blazing red and orange flames, and he soon realized that he was in the wreckage of his crashed jet, "X-Ray".
"I knew this would not freaking go well!" he mumbled as he struggled to get a piece of metal that was holding his chest down off of him.
As Alex stumbled out into the wreckage, he was met with his three squad members, all alive and intact. But there was one problem. All of them were huddled around Rhod, who was as white as a piece of paper.
"What the hell is going on here?!" inquired Alex.
"Rhod's been mumbling nonsensical shit to us ever since he woke up!" said a concerned Connor.
"Everyone's dream........ Everfree............. WE ARE HERE!!! YES! Muahahahahahaha!............ SO pleased......... awesome..... OH THE HORROR! Yet it's so good and bad at the same time....... ahahahah!"
"RHOD! Snap out of it!" shouted a bewildered Alex.
"Wha- wha- What! Oh, uh, sorry about that..."
"What in hell just got into you?!"
"Umm... You guys all know my secret, right?"
"That you like My Little Pony, yeah. What about iiii-"
The realization of what Rhod meant hit him like a sack of bricks.
"Yo- You're kidding, right?..... RIGHT?!"
"Nope. I'm sorry guys."
"I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD GO WRONG! I TRIED TO WARN MERIT BUT NO! GOD DAMMIT!"
Daniel grew very worried. His friend had never been this angry and frustrated before. He tried to talk some sense into him.
"Alex, we need to calm down and assess the situation. We don't know what could happ-"
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I AM YOUR SUPERIOR! SWEET HOLY Hell... Oops. Sorry guys.."
"Aww it's okay. We all snap a bit form time to time." said a reassuring Connor. "It'll be alright."
"Okay, now where did Gunner Recoil land?"
"Uhh. He crashed up over on that hill, but his plane is in a lot worse way than ours."
Alex looked back at his squad's wreckages.
"I really can't see how it can get any worse than that..."
"That's what I'm worried about, sir. So let's get a move on, if Recoil is still alive we are gonna need to find him soon or we'll be met with a burnt out carcass." said a sarcastic Connor.
"Is that meant to be sarcasm?"
"Uhh. Yea, I guess."
"It might not be sarcasm..." said a disgruntled Alex as he looked over to Recoil's crash site. "it looks pretty messed up over there."
"I don't like where you are going Sergeant..."
"I can only help but tell the truth."
The group of four slowly made their way over to their downed friend's crash site. Recoil did say that he was carrying a load of weapons so Alex hoped that they would find something to arm themselves with. He hoped he would never have to use the firearms.
He was wrong.
Spelling in the title is intentional
After nearly half an hour of solid walking, they reached Gunr. Recoil's downed plane. They did not like what they saw.
The plane was split into three main pieces, the cockpit, the remains of the cargo bay, and the tail section. The surrounding area was ablaze, and some of the nearby trees had caught fire, and were spreading. Fast. Inside the ruins of the cargo bay, Alex could see the outlines of many wooden boxes, which he assumed to be the weapons cache.
"Connor! Search the cockpit area. Me, Daniel and Rhod will search the cargo bay. Get it done, boys."
He was met with a chorus of "Yes, sir"s and they proceeded to search the aircraft. The only sound was crackling flames, until a worried Connor shouted out.
"HOLY SHIT!"
"What is it?!" asked a worried Rhod.
"I've found Recoil!"
"Great! Is he in good condition?"
"Umm, yea. Apart from the fact that his head is missing!"
"Oh my god..."
As if the day could get any worse. They had been catapulted into an unknown land (Alex had refused to believe Rhod), their planes had been reduced to mangled scraps of debris, and now their Gunnery Sargent had been decapitated. Peeerfect.
"Ok, we will give him a burial at another date, but come on. We need to gather some supplies. WHat is in these crates anyway?!" Alex said, using a piece of scrap metal to barge open a crate.
What he saw nearly made his mouth drool. In the crate there were 4 M4A1 Assault Rifles with Acog Scopes, 2 SIG Pro Handguns, 2 M1911 Handguns, and 1 M107 Sniper Rife. There was also ammo for each gun respectively in the other crates.
"Come to papa!" Alex said as he reached into the crate, grabbing a M4A1 and a SIG Pro.
"Gimme Gimme!" shouted Connor, as he grabbed a M4A1 and a M1911.
"Daniel just reached in and made no noise as he picked up a M4A1 and a SIG Pro and all that was heard from Rhod was and nearly inaudible squeak as he picked up the M107.
"Do you think we will ever have to use these?" asked Daniel.
"I certainly hope not. But if we do, we must only use them in self defence. If something attacks us, we attack it back. If something doesn't attack us, we don't attack it. Is that clear?" said a responsible Alex.
"Yes sir!"
"Now come on, lets get some ammo for these!"
After the squad had searched the wreckage, they started to make their way back to where the jets had crash landed. The fruits of their labour had also resulted in them picking up a box full of matches, which would come in handy. The dirt path they were walking on was very rough, and it occurred to Alex that maybe not many people went here, if not any. The path was lined with shrubs and bushes, and when he looked up he could see gigantic trees, and the canopy was very thick, which gave the forest a very deathly glow. When they reached the wreckage though, Alex was not happy with what he saw. It looked like as if something had been here and mover the debris around, and this was confirmed as he saw what looked like dogs footprints, but much, MUCH larger.
"Stay frosty" Alex whispered to the rest of his squad.
As they entered the clearing where their planes had crashed, they heard a rustling in the bushes behind them. They all turned around, and they were not happy with what they saw.
It was a dog, but it was gigantic. And by gigantic, I mean about half the size of a room. It was joined by what looked to Alex like a pack. But the most disturbing fact to Alex was that they were wolves, made out of timber. Timberwolves.
"Shitshitshitshitshitshit." squeaked Rhod, as he was the only one who knew what was going on.
Then Rhod remembered. The matches! He reached down into his pocket and pulled out a few. He lit them all at once, and said
"Come to papa, doggies."
Rhod approached the wolves, matches in hand, and with a swift movement, he stuck a match up the lead dogs nose. Within seconds, you could smell smoke and the wolf went into a fit of hysteria. It's friends panicked, and fled the scene as quickly as their legs could let them, while their leader was slowly and painfully being burnt from the insides. The wolf let out a blood-curdling howl, before collapsing into a heap of burning mess, just like the wreckages of the jets.
"Rhod, may I ask how in hell you did that?!" asked a confused Connor.
"It's just because I'm more intelligent than you all, nothing special."
Rhod was met with a crowd of angry looks and death stares.
"Only a little bit better..."
Still the fowl faces and the death stares...
"OK FINE! We are all equal..."
"Thaats better!"
"What the hell were those things?!"
"Timberwolves," replied Rhod. "Wolves made out of timber."
"I could have never ever guessed that from the name." said Connor, sarcastically.
"Okay, enough bickering. Lets get some shit done!"
After the loud noise and the crashed pegasi objects, Canterlot had sent out a multitude of guards to surround Ponyville. They were not to allow anything out or into the city.
"Celestia, do you really think it's necessary to surround the city when an injured animal is in there?!" asked a very concerned Fluttershy.
"I'm sorry sweetie but we just don't simply know what that animal was. For all we know it could try to destroy Ponyville!"
"I guess you are right in someways, but it was injured! All of them were injured! Surely me and my friends could go on a search party!"
"I'm sorry Fluttershy, but that would just be too dangerous!"
Fluttershy looked up at Celestia, and proceeded to do a puppy dog face.
"Oh come on!"
When Fluttershy added a little squeak in to finish the act, Celestia finally gave in.
"Ugh! Fine. But if you get hurt by it or worse, you cannot blame me. Understand?"
"Yes, princess."
They then heard an earbursting howl come from the forest, and Fluttershy's idea soon caused even her to worry.
"Celestia, I have to go and gather up my friends for the search party, so bye. Have a nice day!"
"You too, darling."
(Celestia's Head) 'Ugh! Why do her puppy dog eyes have to be so cute! *sigh*'
Later that day, the squad had managed to stop the timberwolf's ashes from setting alight, and had gathered the remaining wood from it's body to set up a campfire.
"Ugh." said Alex as he looked down at his stomach. "I'm so hungry..."
"Me too!"
"Me three!"
"Me four!"
"So, what are we gonna do for food then?"
"Well," suggested Connor. "We could see if there are any rabbits around. I don't know about you but I loooove rabbit. And Apples! We could see if there are any apple trees nearby!"
"To be honest Connor, I think it's more likely to find a rabbit in here. All the trees are the same, they are all bland; nothing special about them."
"Speaking of rabbits..." said Daniel. "There is one over here."
"Really?!"
"Yep. Hold on."
Alex did not even have the time to say "Stop!" before Daniel reached into his sidearm pocket, got the gun out and shot the poor bunny right between the eyes.
"Why in hell did you do that?!"
"You wanted rabbit for dinner, I got you rabbit for dinner."
"Bu- I- Sho- Ca- Ugh. I guess you are right" sighed Alex.
"See? I told you I have the best ideas!"
"Yeah right! Remeber that time where you thought spotted an Iraqi camp down below, and it turned out to be a big bush that you dropped bombs on?!"
"Oh, umm. Yea. I had to have eyedrops put into my eyes that morning! I couldn't see properly!"
"Yeah yeah..."
After constructing some sort of spit to roast the rabbit on, they dug in. Because they were all so hungry, the rabbit tasted much better. Rhod had said it was "20% Cooler than normal rabbit!" for some, strange reason. Anyway, after eating, Alex looked down at his watch. It had just turned 6:00 pm.
The squad decided to relax and get their energy back. It was all going well until they heard faint voices and footsteps.
"Get up into the trees!" Alex said, a hint of worry in his voice.
The squad ascended the trees faster than any other living creature could. They were all worried that whatever it was that had spoke was hostile, or if it had weapons.
What they saw enter the clearing made Alex, Daniel and Connor question their sanity, and made Rhod feel like a little kid in a toy store.
Back at the base camp on Earth, things were about to get very, VERY bad for Lt Col. Merit.
"Colonel Merit!" shouted one of the assessors. "There have been reports of you treating our faithful soldiers like crap! Would you like to defend yourself?!"
"They deserved what I said to them. They were a waste of space in the first place. And for when I treated them harshly, it was because I was trained like that. As my father always said, 'Hurt them inside to bring them higher on the outside'."
"We do not sincerely care about what your father once said to you! In this ripe day and age you are not allowed to treat out airmen in such a way. You should consider yourself lucky we did not reprimand as soon as we had found out about how you treated their squad. And to add to the suspicions, we now know that Piledriver and all it's squad members along with a Gunnery Sergeant are now MIA after their latest mission; which was the one you were in command of!"
"They are MIA? Huh. Did not know that. They deserved whatever happened to them anyway. I hope they all died in the most painful, slow and agonising way possible!"
The anger inside the assessor was building, and he couldn't take it anymore. Colonel Merit was charged with verbal assault against a squad of four, and to add to that they were all presumed dead. The hatred for Colonel Merit inside the assessor, he couldn't take it.
"Lieutenant Colonel Charlie Merit, I hearby reprimanded from USAF duty, effective immediately. You are to move out of this base by the end of this day, or we will throw you out. Understood?"
"Assessor?"
"Yes?"
The assessor had been looking in the opposite direction, away from Lt Col. Merit. When he turned to see Merit, he did not like what he saw.
He was holding a Magnum, inches away from his face.
"Surprise."
The assessor did not have time to react before Merit fired the shot, spreading blood and brain matter all over the wall behind him. Merit then got upi and made his way into the direction of the armoury.
"Hello Colonel! Having a nice d-"
His sentence was ended by a shot from Merit's gun piercing his ribcage, puncturing his liver.
"Agh..."
Merit walked past the dead body, and over to the armoury door control. He proceeded to type in the code and the door opened, revealing a cache of all types of weapons and ammo, each on individual shelves. He walked in, picked up a M249 SAW and some ammo boxes. He walked out, intent in starting his genocide. He did not have a reason why he wanted to kill people, he just felt like he needed to. He proceeded to gun down innocent soldiers by the tens, and he did not notice his skin, clothing and weapon were turning grey. His killing spree was only stopped by a guard in a sniper tower firing a bullet that penetrated his skull, sending blood and matter out of the other side.
Colonel Merit was now just a smouldering, grey corpse.
Name of Perpetrator: Charlie Brut Merit
Status: KIA
Description of Deeds: Verbal Assault towards Squad X-14 Codename "Piledriver", 24 Counts of Murder in broad daylight, responsible for disappearance of Squad X-14 Codename "Piledriver" after a failed teleportation experiment.
Punishment: None needed. Subject confirmed dead. Bullet penetrating temple exiting out 3 mm from trachea. Subject who fired the shot that discontinued Merit was released without charges on behalf of protection of fellow men.
Case Status: Closed
What Alex saw nearly made him wonder if he was high, but it also convinced him that Rhod was telling the truth. Six colourful equines had entered the clearing, and when they saw the wreckages the expression on their faces was pure horror. Alex guessed they probably had no idea whatsoever was going on. The one that was leading the group of six had a purple coat and a dark mane, with a stripe of purple and magenta going through it. She had a horn on her head, so Alex presumed that she was a unicorn species of the race. There was also an equine - Alex got tired of using equine, so he swapped it with pony,- with a bright yellow coat, a pink mane, and wings, so she was a pegasus. They were the first two to enter the clearing.
Bringing up the rear were four more ponies. One had a white coat and a purple mane, and a horn. Another was orange, with blonde hair tied into a ponytail (No pun intended) at the bottom. She did not have wings, nor horn. There was one with a cyan coat and a rainbow mane, and she had wings. The last one had a pink coat and a darker pink mane.
There was one thing that confused Alex the most; they all had tattoos on their asses.
Alex looked to his left and saw Rhod sitting there, looking like he was about to explode.
Alex leaned over, and whispered "What in sincere hell is going on?" with a hint of confusion in his voice.
All that came out of Rhod was a disgruntled squeak, so Alex guessed that it would be best to leave him alone for the time being.
"Wow, I wonder what in tarturus happened here..." said the purple pony.
So they could talk. Great! (sarcasm)
"Ah don't know, but it sure ahs hell doesn't look good!" said the orange pony, with a strong southern accent.
"Well... whatever crashed here surly is injured, I'm going to go see if it is alright." said the yellow pony, as it made it's way over to Alex's crashed jet.
"Umm... Are you okay?........... Hello?......... Girls, I think it might be dead...."
Alex couldn't help but stifle a chuckle that the ponies thought an inanimate object was a living being, but Alex soon regretted making the decision to make noise.
"HEY! I heard something!" shouted the blue one. "Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie and Applejack search the ground, me and Fluttershy are going to check the treeline!"
"Got it!"
The only think going through Alex, Connor's and Daniel mind was "Shit!", while the only thing going through Rhod's head was "Find me and love me find me and love me!"
The squad tried to remain as silent and still as possible, but the aerial ponies soon found their position.
"HEY GIRLS! THERE IS SOMETHING UP HERE!" shouted the blue one.
"Squad," Alex said through his headset. "Prepare to jump!"
"3, 2, 1!"
All four of them jumped backwards off of the tree, and as soon as they hit ground, they started running towards, well, anywhere.
"Are they following us?!" asked a concerned Daniel.
Connor took a glance behind the squad and saw that they were, in fact, following them.
"They are following, and they are at full pelt!"
"Okay, I'm gonna fire a warning shot into the air!"
The next thing the squad heard was Alex discharging four rounds of his SIG Pro into the air, and as Connor took a look behind them for a second time, he could see that they were all stood still, shocked at such a loud noise.
The squad continued running for the next five minutes, until they reached the edge of the forest.
"Well, *pant* that was, *pant* interesting!"
"Don't I know it!"
"Uhh... guys?" said a worried Daniel. "You might want to take a look at this!"
As Alex made his way over to Daniel, he could see what he was talking about. There was what looked like a medieval village, complete with thatched roofs and wooden houses; but it was populated by ponies.
"Well isn't this just great. Well not a person of many words but I can tell you right now that I am not gonna walk in there guns blazing!"
"Me neither."
"Well, any ideas on where we can hide out?"
"Well," said Daniel. "I can barely recall seeing a stone structure to the west of where we came out of the forest." We could try looking there."
"I suppose that isn't completely suicidal..."
Their conversation was interrupted by Rhod as he walked over.
"Hey you two! I don't know how you are feeling but I'm feeling so very HAPPY! YayayayayayayayayayayayayayayYAY! YIPPEE!" said Rhod as he walked away.
"Umm... That was... what's the word... interesting! Yea, interesting." mumbled Alex, his head full of WAT.
"I think he might be high, or something like that anyway."
"Nah. I think he is just happy. I mean, what would you do if you were transported to the world of your favourite TV show? I can't help but feel a bit of envy for Rhod."
"You're kidding, you're kidding, right? We're trapped in a world of talking anthropomorphic horses, and you feel envy for him?! What the hell happened to you?!"
"Remember that Rhod can like what he likes, Dan."
"Ugh. I suppose so. Now come on, I wanna get to that castle so I can sleep. I'm exhausted."
"Me too. Squad! Get your asses over here now, we're moving out!"
"Yes sir!"
Piledriver made their way in the general direction that Daniel had said he had seen the castle, and it turned out that he was telling the truth. In front of them stood a ruined castle, with plants and shrubbery growing inside. Half of the roof was missing, but it provided enough shelter for a place to set up camp.
"Okay, lets get this place cleared out so we can set up!"
"Yes, sir!"
After walking into the clearing, and deciding to search for the noise, Rainbow Dash had finally found the creatures.
"HEY GIRLS! THERE IS SOMETHING UP HERE!"
Shouting had obviously startled the creatures, and they jumped backwards out of the tree, and immediately broke into a run. Rainbow and the rest of the girls kept chase, until one of the creatures said something inaudible, and then something happened that scared the life out of everypony that was there, except for the creatures.
It raised it's piece of equipment, and shortly after a large bout of fire and sparks exploded out of one end. This repeated 4 times. The girls were so shocked at the display that they all stopped in their tracks.
"What the?" asked a curious Twilight.
She had seen equipment before, but nothing that could have fire explode out of the end of it.
"For the record, I don't even know." said a timid Fluttershy. "It scared me, though."
"Whatever those things were, we need to alert the Princess right away!" said a concerned Rarity.
"Yeah, I don't want it to do more damage than it already has done!" said a bewildered Rainbow Dash.
"And what's even more confusin' is that they ran on two legs! Ah've never seen anything that walks on two legs other than Spike!" said Applejack.
"The word is bipedal, AJ."
"Okay, now calm yerself down!"
"Whatever they are, we need to find it quickly. Rarity, you go and find the Princess and tell her about this. The rest of us will warn the guards of what to expect." said Twilight. "Let's get going!"
"So you are saying," asked Celestia, who had a very concerned face on at the moment. "That the creatures have weapons that we do not know of? How dangerous are these weapons?"
"It must be pretty powerful if it can scare of all the birds in a one mile radius and launch something out of it at ridiculously high speeds! It could have killed a pegasus for pony's sake!" Rarity shouted.
"Now, dear. Can you please just calm down. We need to know the exact details of what happened so we can see if we can find them. After all, we need to find them to forge friendships with them."
"Okay, I'll tell you exactly what happened."
Rarity then proceeded to tell the Princess every single little detail about what had happened. She told her about the loud noise and how Fluttershy had gone to gather her and the girls.
"Yes, I was with Fluttershy when she went to gather the Elements. Could you kindly skip to when you entered the forest, please?"
So Rarity told the Princess about how they reached the clearing and saw lots of burning objects, and Fluttershy thought that it was a living thing thing but it wasn't. And she told her about how they all heard chuckling coming from the trees, and how Rainbow Dash had found the creature and they ran off, with the Elements behind them. She then described in excruciating detail what the weapon did, looked like and sounded like.
"Hmm. This seems very dangerous. I will send more guards to Ponyville to assess the current situation, in the meanwhile I would like you to just keep an eye out. Do not approach them, I don't want to lose an Element Bearer. Don't worry your pretty little head about anything, the guards will take care of it."
"Umm... Okay, Princess" said Rarity, a little flushed.
"Now off you go now, I have important buisiness to attend to."
Alex looked down at his watch. 12:34 pm. He was standing on the roof of the old, ruined building they now resided in.
"Ugh. How did this even happen?" he muttered to himself. "I just wonder why."
He walked over to Daniel, who was looking through binoculars which he had brought with him on the flight. He was just staring contently over the hillside.
"Daniel!"
"EEK! DON'T DO THAT, ALEX!"
Alex could not help but laugh at this.
"What are you looking at anyway?"
"I'm just keeping a lookout if anything was to come our way."
"Nice thinking, smartass."
"Alex, you should go to sleep. I have this surveilance coverered. Go get some rest!"
"I guess you are right. See ya."
"G'night."
"Alex! ALEX! You have to get up, quickly! Now!"
Alex opened his eyes and found himself staring into Daniel's.
"What is going on?!" asked a befuddled Alex.
"We've got company!"
"Shit! Connor, Rhod, get up!"
"Oh my god what is it?!"
"Company!"
"Crappity crap crap!"
"Daniel, give me your binoculars."
"Yes sir!" said Daniel as he handed them over.
When Alex looked through the binoculars, he did not like what he saw. There were a dozen ponies clad in gold armour approaching their position. The platoon was made up of Unicorns and ponies with no wings or horns, there were no pegasi. All the unicorns had their horns glowing, ready to shoot a spell, and all the Earth ponies -Alex decided to call them that- had spears in their hooves, which Alex didn't even think was possible. They were approaching rapidly, so Alex decided to take the situation into his own hands.
"Please, hold your fire!" shouted Alex, his hands cupped to his mouth. "We do not want to wish harm upon you, but you must not hurt us either!"
What looked like the leader of the platoon replied.
"Please step out of the building with your forelegs up!"
"I am not surrendering to you, so I suggest just turning around and leaving!"
The platoon leader gave a nod towards a unicorn, and the unicorn fired a blast at Alex, and it only missed him by an inch.
"Why did you do that?!"
His response was that 4 four unicorns started blasting the walls of the castle, knocking out a few dark grey bricks.
"Now you are asking for it! Squad, OPEN FIRE!"
The only thing that Alex could hear was now the rattling of rifles being discharged towards the platoon of poor ponies. The ponies had no defence against bullets, so they started dropping like flies. The remaining unicorns started pelting the squad with lots of different spells. Sadly one of the unicorns actually had good aim, and a magic bolt struck Alex in the chest, sending him flying backwards. After five minutes the fighting had subsided, due to the fact that all the ponies had retreated. Connor rushed over to the slumped, bloody mess that was once a healthy Alex Casual.
The last thing Alex heard before he blacked out was:
"Yooooo Aaaaaleeex, yaaaa aaaalriiight?!"
Celestia was surprised to see the guard platoon that see had sent out to where the creatures were hiding return to the castle bruised and wounded.
"My highness! The creatures massacred us! They took the lives of nine of us, we are the remaining three! Chief Spearpony Starbolt needs to be rushed to the infirmary, now!"
"Oh my! Nurse! You must help this poor soul! As for the creatures, set down a warning to all the major cities in Equestria. If they are sighted all ponies are obliged to retreat, understood?!"
"Understood, your highness!"
"My highness, we managed to hit one of the four creatures with a major knockback damage shot. He should be dead within the next 24 hours."
"There was no need to kill them, but what must be done, must be done."
"Crap! Alex is losing blood fast! Get something to help him!"
"Daniel, we did not pick up any medical supplies from Recoils ship, but there was a crate stacked with syringes and bandages!"
"Why the hell did you leave it behind then?! Just forget it, you two need to get over to that ship and gather some meds or Alex is gonna die! HURRY DAMN YOU!"
"On it!"
Alex was losing blood very fast. The spell that had hit him had caused his skin to tear open just above his bellybutton, and blood was running from the wound in torrents that started to paint the roof a sickening dark red. Daniel, him being the closest friend of Alex every since he joined the squad, was hysterical. He couldn't let his friend die. Not at the hands of talking ponies. He remembered the battle and how he had gunned down four of the buggers, and he remebered when the spell had hit Alex. Boy, the unicorn that hit him was now just a smouldering bloody mess. Mainly because Daniel had pumped 23 bullets into his skull. And that is not an over-exaggeration.
After an agonising slow twenty minutes, Rhod and Connor arrived back with the medical supplies. They tried their best to patch Alex up, but he was still in a pretty bad shape. Even after they had bandaged him up, he was still losing blood. But their handiwork eventually pay'd off, because the bleeding had stopped. Shorty after the bleeding had been controlled, Alex regained consciousness.
"Ow, my... my everything..."
"Alex! Thank god you're awake! Me and the boys thought you'd died!"
"Alex Cause doesn't die. he just rests until his country needs saving again."
Daniel couldn't help but laugh at this, even though they were in a real bad situation. They had obviously pissed off the authorities of this place as Connor had reported seeing many pegasi fly over the castle. Daniel knew their position had been compromised, and he knew they had to leave. Fast.
"C'mon Alex, we gotta move! Ugh!" mumbled Daniel as he helped his injured friend up off the ground. "There ya go!"
"I don't need your help!" shouted Alex. "I can walk just fine!"
He proved how he could walk fine by taking a step and falling right back down again onto his face.
"Ow. That kinda hurt."
"No shit! Come on laddie; we have to get out of here."
"Okay..."
After lifting Alex up and helping him away from the castle with the squad, Daniel wondered where they could head, but nowhere came to mind. That is until Rhod butted in.
"I know! We can go towards Ponyville!" Rhod said, pointing over a ridge. "They are ever so friendly there!"
"How can you be sure?!" asked Connor, perplexed at how his friend managed to break the fourth wall.
"I'm addicted to the show that is set in that village. Trust me, they are friendly."
"Ugh. My gut hates this, but you make a good point. However much I hate your decision, I have to agree with you."
"Damn. Same here." mumbled Daniel.
"Aww, fine!" shouted Alex.
So it was settled. The squad slowly made their way over the ridge, and were met with the medieval architecture they had seen only once before.
"Man, they sure look technologically advanced with those fancy smancie thatched roofs. That's only just below ours!" chuckled Connor, sarcastically.
They proceeded to follow the road that led into the small village. Luckily they had seen no guards. But stuff was about to get weird.
When they had reached halfway down the path, they started to hear voices, but every time that they turned around there was nothing there. This happened a couple of times, until seemingly out of nowhere Rhod was tackled of his feet by a pony. The pony had a mint-green coat and light green hair, with a stroke of white running through it.
"Woah, holy crap! Get off of him!"
"OH MAH SWEET CELSTIA I WAS RIGHT! YIPPEE!!" shouted the unicorn as she leapt up off of Rhod. "I KNEW HUMANS WERE REAL! I JUST KNEW IT!" The unicorn then grabbed Daniel by the shoulders, brought him close, and whispered:
"They never believed me..."
Everybody at the moment was in a state of confusion right now, except for Rhod because he knew exactly what was happening.
"Umm... ma'am? May I ask what your name is?"
"Oh! My name is Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings!" Lyra said, as he did the pony equivalent of a curtsey. On Lyra's rump there was a picture of a Lyre, and Alex took this as the moment to ask what they were; as he had seen every pony have one.
"Lyra, what is that tattoo thing that you have on your ass?"
"Hmm?"
"That picture. On your ass."
"I don't know what you are talking about, but the only Ass in 5 miles is Cranky Doodle Donkey."
Alex facepalmed so much at that moment that his hand could have gone straight through his skull.
"The picture, on your... rump? Is that the word?"
"Ohhhhhhhhh..." said Lyra at her moment of realization. "That's a cutie mark!" she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Yeah that sort of raises more questions than it answers..."
"A cutie mark is what appears after a pony discovers what their talent is. For example, my cutie mark is a Lyre because I can play the Lyre with most fluency."
"Really? That brings a whole new meaning to we all have a purpose in life."
"Yea! Now, I'm gonna lead you back to Ponyville! I'm sure everypony will love you!"
And that is when shit hit the fan.
Passing Through Violently
"Lyra, are you absolutely sure that the ponies of Ponyville are going to accept us right there and then? I mean c'mon, look at what we did to the guards!" said Daniel, who was slowly thinking up worst case scenarios.
"Oh it will be fiiine! What did you do to those guards anyway?"
"Oh... Uhh... We had... a... uhh.... misunderstanding! Yea, misunderstanding..."
"Ok! Now I wanna know, WHAT IS IT LIKE TO HAVE FINGERS?!"
Lyra was now pressed up against Daniel's stomach looking up at him with puppy dog eyes.
"Well, having fingers is kinda useful, with the fact that I can use intricate things in small spaces. Like this!"
Daniel pulled out his handgun and fired a shot into the air, startling everyone that was not paying attention to Lyra and Daniel's conversation.
"Daniel! What the shit?!" asked an angry Connor. "We don't wanna cause any more trouble!"
"Hmm... I guess you are right. I hope the guards are light on us..."
Little did the squad know that they were being watched by a certain yellow timid pegasus, who was earlier asked to report all sightings to the Princess.
"Princess!....*pant* I- I've seen them...*pant* And they have Lyra as a hostage.. *pant* They are heading towards Ponyville!"
"Okay Fluttershy, I will send out a warning to the guards. Now sweetie, you go and get some rest in the guest chambers. You deserve it." said Princess Celestia, even though secretly she was very, very worried.
"Yes, Princess!"
"Far Factor, come over here please."
Far Factor was a light blue pegasus, and he had a blue and orange mane, and light green eyes.
"Yes, your highness?" said a very courteous Far Factor.
"I need you to send word to all the guards in Ponyville that the creatures are approaching, and they have somepony hostage."
"Oh my, that's terrible! I'm on it, your highness!"
And with that he left the Canterlot throne room, and made his way speedily to Ponyville.
Piledriver were about 20 meters from the village, and Alex had a very bad feeling in his stomach.
"Lyra, why are there so many guards?!"
"I don't know. They were sent here yesterday because 'A mysterious quintet of creatures had been spotted raining from the sky.' and I don't know what they were but you were inside them! That reminds me, aren't there supposed to be five of you?"
"Yes, but the fifth died when his vehicle crashed."
"Oh, I'm so sorry!"
"Don't worry, he's in a better place now..."
Their conversation was interrupted by a guard who had seen them approaching from the village gates, and had ran up to stop them.
"Stop right there, criminal scum!"
"Woah calm yoursel-"
Alex's sentance was finished when the guard smashed the wooden end his spear into his jaw, causing him to fall back.
"Ow! Squad hold fire, give him a chance!" Alex said as he arose from the ground.
"Creatures, you are hearby wanted for murder and evading the guard. We do not want to hurt you, so please release your hostage an-"
"If you didn't want to hurt us, why the fuck did you jam your spear into the side of my face?!"
"Oh yeah, sorry about that. Anyway!" said the guard, shaking his head. "Please surrender and give us your weapons!"
"Can I talk this over with my squad?"
"Fine, but if you try to run away I will jab a spear into your back!"
"Okay. Squad, get over here!"
"Alex, you aren't really thinking about surrendering to ponies, are you?!" said a confused Connor.
"I actually am, but we only hand over our assault rifles, not our handguns."
"Ahh, nice one Sherlock!"
"Okay, Mr. Guard person, we will surrender."
"Good, and call me Starflare."
"Okay."
The squad handed over their Assault Rifles to Starflare, and slowly made their way into Ponyville, surrounded by all different types of guardsponies. They had escorted Lyra away earlier.
"Umm, gentlemen? May I ask where we are going?"
"We are taking you to Canterlot Castle for questioning. Please remain calm ponies, we are escorting them and they have no weapons! Please stand back!"
As the guards were escorting them throughout the town, ponies started clapping at the guards. This was probably because they had captured an evil squad of devils, in their eyes anyway.
It took them a whole 2 hours to make their way to Canterlot, but when they arrived at the Canterlot Throne Room, they were given a proper welcome.
"Oh, look!" said a calm Celestia. "It's the creatures that everypony is talking about. In fact, you are not creatures, you are humans! There are legends, but I must say it is an honour to meet one in the flesh."
"You seem nice!" said Connor. "Nicer than the ponies that tried to kill Alex!"
"Well, that was not entirely my fault you see, I told the guards to find out where you were, not to engage you. But your reaction is why we are here. You used your weapons which have now been confiscated to kill most of the platoon I sent out. And I also couldn't help but notice that one of you has a bandage wrapped around you! Oh I will fix that, dear."
Celestia lit up her horn and shortly after, she removed the bandage. She had healed the wound.
"Wow, how did you do that?!"
"Magic !"
"Okaay..."
"Now, onto why you're here. The questions!"
"Okay, hit us with the first question then, Mrs. Horse."
"Call me Celestia." she said with an amused smile.
"Okay, Celestia, hit us with the first question!"
"Do you like Bananas?"
After a heartfull meal of bananas from Princess Celestia's 'Banana Bag', the questions started hitting Alex like an arrow to to the knee.
"So," asked Celestia. "What should I call you humans as a whole?"
"Piledriver."
"And what are your individual names?"
"Alex."
"Daniel."
"Connor."
"R-Rhod."
"Is there anything the matter Rhod? You look much more tense than the rest of your colleges."
"I know, it's just that I'm speaking to a member of royalty, I don't want to mess things up!"
"I can see what you mean. My sympathies, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Oh it's okay."
"Anyway, I would like to ask you a few questions, if that is okay with you?"
"Yes," said Alex. "Go ahead."
"Why and how did you arrive in Equestria?"
"I don't know why we arrived here, but we were involved in a test gone wrong, and we don't know what happened next because we blacked out. But we awoke in a clearing and our vehicles were on fire."
"Hmm... Interesting. Oh, I almost forgot! We have two ponies that would like to join us today. I would like you to meet Twilight Sparkle, and I believe you already know Lyra Heartstrings."
Lyra walked into the meeting room first, her light green mane swaying. Next walked in Twilight, who Alex instantly remembered as the purple pony that was part of the six that found their clearing.
"I remember you," Alex went on. "You were one of the six that found our crashed planes, weren't you?"
"Ahh, yes! I did find your vehicles! Although I still had no idea why you had to run off, I had so many questions to ask you!"
"Indeed. Now Celestia, go on with the rest of your questions, would you kindly?"
"Yes. What were those vehicles that you arrived in called?"
"Planes. F-18's if you want to be precise."
Twilight then got out a notebook out of presumably nowhere and started jotting down notes.
"F-18's... Got it!"
"What is your home planet called, and what is it like?"
"Our home planet is called Earth, and it is quite-"
"Woah woah woah, stop a second!" exclaimed Twilight. "Your planet is called Earth? Our planet is called Earth!"
"Oh really?"
"Yes! Fascinating..." said Twilight as she jotted down more notes.
"Anyway, as I was saying. Earth is very much similar to here, except everything looks a little bit more dull, and less bright."
"Hmm, interesting. What do you eat?"
"Well, you already know that we eat bananas, thank you for those by the way, and we are omnivores, and I'm going to presume that you are herbivores?"
"You are welcome, and yes. We are herbivores, but in my travels to other countries I have tasted meat. It was disgusting, to say the least."
"Well that is your opinion, but one of the main reasons me and my squad are best friends is because we all have a dying love for bacon. Baaaaaacoooon..." Alex drooled.
"Okay... well, I bet that Twilight would like to ask you a few questions. Twilight?"
"Ah yes! Do any of you like books?"
"I like books, Daniel, Connor and Rhod don't particularly like them."
"Great! I like books too, I even run a library! Maybe you could come over sometime, *wink wink*"
"OKAY! LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT."
"Oops," said Twilight, blushing. "Sorry."
"Don't.. do that."
"I won't again, anyway, does your planet have any religions?"
"To be honest, we have to many. The main five are Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism and Sikhism. But these religions have started many a war, and killed millions of people."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that..."
"Don't sweat it."
"Lyra, do you want to ask a question?"
"Yes, but only one. Does your race know about our race?"
As soon as Alex heard this, he turned white. So did Daniel, so did Connor. Rhod nearly fainted.
"So? Do you know about us or what?"
Silence.
"Piledriver?..."
Again, silence.
"Answer me!"
"Okay! Fine!" blurted out Rhod. "We do know of your existence, we have a TV show about you!"
"Umm... what is a TV show?"
"It's like an adventure played out on a glass screen. Anyway, there is a TV show about you and most people have heard about you. I know most of your names, for Christ's sake, not to sound creepy, but, you know."
There was silence from Celestia, Twilight and Lyra, until all at the same time, they blurted out:
"Cooooool! Who is the main character?!"
"I bet it is me!" Lyra exclaimed. "I have the most intresting life out of aall of you!"
"Oh please, I'm a princess for crying out loud, it's definitely going to be me!"
"THE SHOW IS ABOUT TWILIGHT AND HER 5 FRIENDS!" shouted Rhod, at the top of his voice. "It's about how you and your friends go around saving the day and crap, and to prove this I know that you defeated Nightmare Moon after the first day that Twilight moved here. Is that true?"
"Umm... Yes! Oh my Celestia, I'm famous! Yippee!"
"Okay, calm yourself now."
Twilight's answer to calming down was to jump around like a crazy person and do some strange sort of dance, much to Princess Celestia's amusement.
"Okay, I can safely say that this meeting went splendidly. Guards, could you please escort Piledriver to their individual rooms? I will speak to them tomorrow to arrange where they are going to stay."
"Yes, your highness. If you would like to follow me, gentlemen?"
As the squad exited the room, they looked behind them as Celestia waved to them.
"Well, this was an interesting day..." shrugged Celestia, as she made her way to the throne room.
The room that Alex was staying in for the time being was very glamorous. The walls were decorated in paintings, all in frames, and the floor was made of marble. The rugs were made of cotton, and the bedsheets were were made with the finest silk, embroidered with gold lining.
It looked like a room that royalty would stay in, Alex thought. But then he promptly realised that this was a room that royalty occasionally stayed in.
Alex looked down at his watch. 7:35 pm. Had it been that long already?
Alex, being very hungry, decided to make his way out of the room he was staying in to find the dining hall. He passed a guard on the way out.
"Excuse me, but could you tell me where the dining hall is?"
"Down the corridor first door on the left. Her highness and your friends are expecting you, you'd better be swift."
"Thanks, kind sir." said Alex, as he bolted his way down the hallway.
Insurance, Paparazzi and a Tour
"So," said Celestia, just finishing chewing on an apple. "We need to arrange where you are going to stay. Hold on, let me just check..."
As she said this, her horn glowed and a screen appeared next to her. She appeared to be browsing through houses available, but all of them seemed to be sold out. That is until, she reached the bottom of the list.
"Ah hah! I have two houses in Ponyville that are next to each other available for sale. Would it be okay if you could share a house with two people each?"
"Yeah, that would be fine." responded Alex.
"Okay. Also, I will apologise for advance for this, all four of you will be woken up at quite an early time..."
"Why is that?" inquired Connor.
"You are living next to a Miss. Scratch, the resident DJ."
Rhod took this opportunity to sigh, and smash his head into the table repeatedly.
"Of all the people we had to live next to WHY did it have to be DJ P0N-3? Why god, why?!"
"I'm sorry, but these are the only housing choices in the immediate area. If you would want to live in another location you would have to live in Manehattan or Fillydelphia."
"Oh. My. God." said Alex as he snickered away.
"What is so funny, dear?"
"Your city names are so, so, punny!" Alex could not help himself anymore. He burst out into a full onset of laughter, while everybody around him just looked at him, wondering 'WAT'.
"Okay, I've regained composure. Go on." Alex's face was still red from all this laughter.
"Anyway... This is the only housing option that I could find near here, so I'm sorry but this is your only option."
"I guess we can manage... Hopefully..." mumbled Daniel.
"Moving on, we need to find jobs for you, as I can guess that you do not have the same currency as us?"
"Even if we don't have the same currency we don't have any of it."
"Okay," said Celestia, as she flipped a golden coin onto the table. "This is a Bit. This is the national currency for Equestria, everything is bought and sold with it. Since I am not allowed to just give out free bits whenever I want, I can only give all of you 500 bits to share. Don't worry, I will pay for the housing."
"Thank you, your highness."
"You are welcome, but as I said please call me Celestia. You will need to find jobs, I will arrange if I can find any once you move into your new accommodations. You should be able to leave the palace by tomorrow, or the day after at the very latest. I will arrange with the mayor of Ponyville about the housing tomorrow. For the meanwhile, go and get some rest. We have a busy day tomorrow."
"Yes, Celestia."
Piledrive stood up from the dining room table, and slowly made their way to their individual quarters. As Alex reached to door to his compartment, he thought about how the Mayor would react to this. It's not every day a member of royalty comes up to you and says "Hi there, is it okay if I can keep 4 aliens from another world in two of your houses? Thank you!"
If this ever happened to Alex, he probably would have jumped out of a window there and then.
Alex's thoughts were slowly washed away as the peaceful hold of deep sleep took over.
Ugh! Why are mornings so bad?!" mumbled Alex, as he awoke from his bed.
Usually he would not be this cranky, but he had a meeting today. With the Mayor of Ponyville. Alex mainly was worried that as soon as he and his convoy that were escorting entered Ponyville they would have apples thrown at them or something.
"Ah, Alex! You're awake!" said Twilight, whom Alex had recently realized had been sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the room.
"Shit! Don't... do that. How long have you been there?!"
"About half an hour."
'Freaking pervert' Alex said, in his head of course.
"Why are you in my room?!"
"I just wanted to study the breathing patterns of humans, to see if they are similar. And long story short, they are!"
"Yippee. Now you can quit your paper round!" said Alex, sarcastically.
"I don't get it..."
"I didn't expect you to."
"Oh, ok! That solves it!"
Alex gave Twilight a quizzical look, then made his way down to the dining hall for breakfast. Twilight was following shortly behind him.
"Do you know what is on the breakfast menu today?"
"Suprisingly, yes! I do. It is a nice platter of daisy and hay sandwiches, with assorted fruit."
"Daisy and Hay Sandwiches. You have got to be kidding me..."
"What? Do you not like daisies? Or are you allergic to-"
Twilight suddenly realized what Alex meant, and let out a long "Ohhhhhhhhh...". to advertise her understanding.
"So you understand now?"
"Yes, I will check with the Princess to have the hay removed from the sandwiches, because you are allergic to it!"
Alex's palm nearly went through his skull at that moment.
"No, Twilight. Humans don't eat daisies, or hay for that matter."
Twilight let out a long "Ohhhhhh..." for the second time in a minute.
"Okay, I'll arrange for you to only have fruit then."
"That would be very much appreciated."
"It is no problem, Alex. I'll see you at the dining table!" Twilight said, as she darted off towards the dining room.
After Alex had had a delightful meal of Apple Fritter and Water, Alex followed Celestia out of the castle along with the rest of Piledriver. They were surrounded by a multitude of guards, escorting them throughout the city of Canterlot.
"Celestia, are you sure that the Mayor will allow us to stay?" inquired Rhod.
"I spoke to her last night. She said she would be honoured to have you as guests, and she has arranged jobs for all of you."
"What kind of jobs?"
"She will tell you when we arrive. She just told me that she had jobs for you all, I know nothing more."
"I hope I can actually do what she asks me to do..."
"I'm sure you will, darling. She said that none of the jobs were going to be extremely difficult."
"Phew."
It took the convoy nearly two hours to make their way down to the small village of Ponyville, and instead of having fruit thrown at them when they arrived, they were met with lots of cheering. Some photographers had also gathered for photos for magazines, and many of them were shouting things along the lines of "Piledriver! Alex, put on a pose! Man this is gonna go great on the front page of Equestria Daily!"
Rhod could not help but chuckle at the use of the word 'Equestria Daily', as he had been an avid reader of the site ever since he had became a brony. That reminded him; how was he going to explain bronydom to these ponies? And even worse, how was he going to explain the R34?!
Rhod's thoughts were quickly interrupted by the arrival of the mayor.
"Why, hello there! I am the Mayor of Ponyville. I will lead you to your accommodations. Would you care to follow me me, please."
It took them another twenty minutes to arrive at their new homes, and Alex was surprised at what they saw. The houses that were given to them were almost twice the size of the rest of the houses in the village, and they were decorated more posh-like. The walls were made of the finest timber, and instead of the roof being made of thatch like the rest, it was made with stone.
"Wow! Celestia," Alex said. "I cannot thank you enough!"
"Do not worry about it, it was all in good thought."
"Now," the Mayor began. "I have arranged jobs for all of you. Alex, I would like you to be a libraries assistant at the local library, run by a Miss. Sparkle. Daniel, I would like you to work as an assistant for a sweet shop run by a Miss. Bon Bon. Rhod, I would like you to work as a baker at Sugarcube Corner, run by a Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and last but not least, Connor, I would like you to help a Miss. Rarity with her shop. I will lead you to all these destinations later. Please, settle into your new homes. I will be back shortly to give you a tour."
"Okay, so who wants to bunk with me?" asked Alex.
"I will." responded Daniel.
Okay, so it is me and Daniel in the house to the left and Rhod and Connor to the house on the right. Let's unpack and then get to buisness."
All of the people who had hired them were worried that they were not going to get the jobs done, but what they did not know was that Celestia had had Luna run a mind scan to see what job they were best suited to. And the job that they were best suited to is the job they got.
"Okay, would you please follow me, I will show you all the great landmarks of this wonderful village."
As they kept on walking, they came across a large building which looked like a carousel.
"This, is the Carousel Boutique. Connor, you will be working here with Miss. Rarity."
They kept on walking, and they came across a building that looked like a 1 to 1 scale model of a gingerbread house.
"This is Sugarcube Corner. Rhod, you will be working here with Miss. Pie."
Again, they continued walking until they came across a large treehouse. And by treehouse, I don't mean one that a child would build in a tree, no no. This was a treehouse. It was a house carved out of a tree.
"This is the local library. Alex, this is where you will be working with Miss. Sparkle, who I assume you have met."
For the last time they continued walking, and they came across a run-of-the-mill sweet shop, with a sign on the front saying "Bon Bon's Bon Bons."
"Daniel, you will be working here with Miss. Bon Bon. I do believe that those are all the places that you need to know at the moment, so I will leave you to explore. I have to get back to town hall, Applejack and Carrot Top are argueing over what the national fruit of Ponyville should be. A carrot isn't even a fruit, for Celestia's sake. Anyway, I have to go. I hope to see you another time!" the Mayor said, as she trotted towards a large building in the middle of the town.
"She seemed nice." said Alex.
"Yeah, I agree." responded Daniel. Who has the 500 bits that Celestia gave us?"
"I do." replied Connor.
"Come on, let's find a cafe, I'm thirsty as fuck!"
"Same."
And with that, they set off to explore.
Status: Missing in Action
Human Universe
"Sir," started the advisor. The advisor had long brown hair, and he wore a battle worn outfit with small tears across the sides. He had dark blue eyes, and a small amount of stubble on his chin. "I assume you know what happened on the 4th of May this year?"
"Yes," replied the general. He was in charge of the immediate sector, so he had control of four army bases across his area of Iraq. "There was a mysterious disappearance of a squad of four pilots."
"Well, it may have gone deeper than we thought. The only observers of the incident said that there was, and I quote, 'A large amount of purple light radiating where the planes were. When the light disappeared, the planes were gone.'"
"May I ask why you are telling me this, advisor?"
"According to scientists, the squad may not even be on this planet anymore. The purple light emitted was most likely the cause of a parallel dimensional shift. This meant the squad could have been teleported to a completely different universe, and I don't think that is a good thing. If they were able to enter, what could stop things from leaving?"
"Interesting," said the general, slowly milling over the amount of words that had just been delivered to him. "This cannot be good. Send a warning out to all the military outposts in the area to increase their protection. We don't want any trouble."
"Yes, sir! I also have the documents that describe the statuses of the personnel involved in this event."
The advisor layed the papers down on his desk, and the general picked them up. The following is what was on the sheets.
Name: Alex "X-Ray" Cause
Rank: First Lieutenant
Status: M.I.A
Squad Register: Piledriver
Description of Incident: Large flash of purple light caused subject's squad to disappear. Incident still being researched.
Height: 6" 2
Appearance: Short brown hair, cut into spikes and long at the sides. Blue eyes. Tattoo on left arm reading "Die for Peace", the squad's motto.
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Name: Daniel Century
Rank: First Lieutenant
Status: M.I.A
Squad Register: Piledriver
Description of Incident: Large flash of purple light caused subject's squad to disappear. Incident still being researched.
Height: 5" 11
Appearance: Short blonde hair cut into a bowl shape. Hazel eyes. Tattoo on left arm reading "Die for Peace", the squad's motto.
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Name: Connor Usborne
Rank: First Lieutenant
Status: M.I.A
Squad Register: Piledriver
Description of Incident: Large flash of purple light caused subject's squad to disappear. Incident still being researched.
Height: 5" 8
Appearance: Long black hair; no discernible style. Green eyes. Tattoo on left arm reading "Die for Peace", the squad's motto.
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Name: Rhod Actual
Rank: Second Lieutenant
Status: M.I.A
Squad Register: Piledriver
Description of Incident: Large flash of purple light caused subject's squad to disappear. Incident still being researched.
Height: 6" 2
Appearance: Short ginger hair. No discernible style. Brown eyes. Tattoo on left arm reading "Die for Peace", the squad's motto. Tattoo on left butt cheek discerning a collection of three butterflies in a triangular pattern.
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Name: Jackson Recoil
Rank: Gunnery Sergeant
Status: M.I.A
Squad Register: Retaliation XV
Description of Incident: Large flash of purple light caused subject's squad to disappear. Incident still being researched.
Height: 5" 10
Appearance: Long brown hair. Spiked up into a Mohawk. Blue eyes.
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Name: Charlie Merit
Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
Status: K.I.A
Squad Register: None
Description of Incident: After being questioned about the event's of "Piledriver"'s disappearance, he shot a questioner between the eyes, killing him instantly. After breaking into the armoury, he killed a further 24 people before being killed by a guard tower operative with a 50. Cal Sniper Rifle.
Height: 6" 4
Appearance: Bald. Magenta eyes. Tattoo reading "Hurtful" on right shoulder.
The day began, and all was peaceful in the quiet town of Ponyville. That was, until Vinyl Scratch blared her dubstep out of the window at full volume.
"AWWWW YEAH, GOOD MOOORNING POONYVILLE!"
"What the..." said Alex as he was abruptly woke up from his slumber by what seemed to him as just noise.
"Daniel?! Are you awake?!"
"Yeah," replied Daniel. "I'm downstairs making breaksfast!"
Wait. Daniel, making breakfast? Now that did not make any sense. In all the years that Alex had known Daniel he had never cooked once, so why start now?
As Alex made his way downstairs, his doubts were confirmed. Daniel was indeed cooking, and he was doing a good job of it too.
"Wow... I never knew you could cook Dan."
"Me neither. I'm making scrambled eggs and toast. Want any?"
"Nah, I'll just have nothing to eat whatsoever for the whole day." Alex said, his words dripping with sarcasm.
"Aww, cheer up mate. It's the first day of our new jobs, isn't it? Cheer up, dumbass."
"I fail to see how using the words 'Cheer up' and 'Dumbass' in the same sentance is possible."
"It's simple. Cheer up, dumbass."
"Oh ha ha ha, very funny."
After a delicious meal of scrambled egg, the squad of four met outside their two separate houses.
"Ok, once everyone is finished at their jobs, meet me outside of Twilight's Library tree thing. Ok?"
"Yes."
"Okay, let's get to work!"
Upon arriving at the library, Alex was met with a rather frightened Twilight.
"Alex!" she shouted. "Thank Celestia you're here. A bunch of thugs broke in, but they didn't steal anything. They just threw the books around. Can you be a lamb and clear it up?"
"Why did they not steal anything?" Alex inquired.
"I don't know, but can you clear it up?"
"Yes, I guess."
"Great! I need to get back to my studies, come see me when you are done!"
"Ok...... I'm a lamb!"
It took Alex the good of an hour to clear up the mess in Twilight's library. The books got everywhere, some places even Alex thought could not have been possible. For example, a copy of "Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone" was able to get half of itself lodged in the oak wall. Someone must have fired it out of a vortex cannon to do that.
"Okay, Twilight." Alex said with small breaks for breaths. "I'm done."
"Great! Here!" she said as she handed Alex a bag full of rustling coins. "You can go home now, I have nothing else for you to do."
Alex made his way outside, and was met with three disgruntled faces.
"Hey guys, how was work?" asked Alex.
"Terrible." replied Dan.
"Awful." replied Connor.
"Horrendous." replied Rhod.
"Why?"
"Well for starters," Daniel began. "I managed to ruin a whole shipment of Bon Bons, Rhod's baking made a pony throw up, and Connor cut one of Rarity's dresses in half when he misused the sewing machine."
"I thought Celestia picked the jobs for what we were best at!"
"The thing we are best at is fighting." replied Connor. "But we have no way of contacting Celestia."
"Yes we do!" answered Rhod, as he opened the door to the library they were standing in front of. "Twilight?"
"Yes, Rhod?"
"I would like Spike to take down a letter to Celestia."
"Okay, but how do you know my assistant's name?"
"There is a show about you, remember?"
"Ahh, yes. Spike! Get down here!"
Seconds after, a dragon walked down the stairs. He had purple scales and green hair, but he was smaller than he was menacing.
"Yes, Twilight?" he answered, completely oblivious to the four strange aliens in his living room.
"I would like you to take a letter for our friends."
"What frien-"
His sentence stopped when he lay his eyes onto the humans. He had a sheer look of terror on his face, before shaking it off and continuing.
"What would you like me to write?" as he said this a scroll and quill appeared in his hands by magic.
"Ahem," said Alex, clearing his throat.
Dear Princess Celestia,
We would like to make changes to our current job settings. We all returned from work with miserable faces, and it is clear that our real talents lie in warfare. The sooner you can apply changes the better.
Yours Sincerely,
Alex Actual
"Alex Actual... OKAY! Got it." and with that he opened his mouth, sending a spark of a flame launching into the air, engulfing the letter.
"Why'd you do that?!" asked a confused Connor.
"It's how I send letters. I had my flames modified to send them directly to the Princess. It will appear next to her right about, now!"
"Okaaaay...."
"Anyway," said Twilight. "Would you like a cup of tea while you wait for the reply?"
"Yes please!" said all four humans, at exactly the same time.
"Okay then, I'll be right back." said Twilight, as she walked out of the room.
"So," began Spike. "How did you guys-"
His sentence was interrupted by a massive burping sound, and after a letter appeared on the table, sealed with a red wax seal.
"Wow, that was quick for her to respond!"
"What does it say?"
"It reads:"
Dear Alex,
I understand that your talents are in fighting, so I have arranged with Captain Shining Armour to initiate you and your squad into the Royal Guard. A convoy will be picking you up from your houses, and you will be transported to Canterlot via Sky Chariots. I await to see you.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
"Wow," said Alex. "She sure is formal."
"I'm surprised she's going to let us into her army, considering what we did." said Rhod.
"Once we have had our tea, we must get back to the houses. We shouldn't keep royalty waiting."
And with that, the squad arrived at thier houses. And they were surprised that the chariots were already there.
"Humans!" said one of the pilots of the chariots. "We must be quick, the Princess sent out an urgent order to get you to her castle. Please, get onto our chariots. I take you have never flown before, yes?"
"We arrived in planes. Of course we've flown before."
"My aplogies, now enough chit chat! Get on!"
And with that, they took of towards Canterlot, at amazing speeds.
When they arrived, Princess Celestia was already there waiting for them.
"Ah, Piledriver. If you would like to step off your vehicles and follow me it would be very much appreciated."
As they followed Celestia, it became clear that they were in the barracks region of the castle. There were guards attacking manikins all throughout the courtyards, and there was an area where someone was teaching some unicorns how to use a less advanced version of a crossbow.
"Ah, here we are." she said, as she led them into a dark room. When she flicked the lights on, it revealed a variety of shelves holding guns.
"I had the liberty of dispatching guards to your downed plane and they came back with all the crates they could see. This room is where all of your weapons and supplies will be stored. Now if you excuse me..."
Her horn glowed once more, then after a flash of light four symbols appeared in the grasp of her magic.
"Please, attach these to your uniforms. This is our army's logo." she said this as she handed a logo to all of the humans in the room.
Alex examined the logo, and it looked like this.
"Pretty neat." responded Alex.
"It is the emblem of United Equestria. Now, I will leave you to examine what else we found from your downed friend while I finish the papers on your enrolment." And with that, she left the room.
"Man," said Dan. "She sure found a lot of stuff. I mean look at this, she found a whole crate full of ammo for our M4A1's!"
"We are so very lucky, now remember, don't waste it." Alex said with a chuckle.
Alex's squad spent the next half an hour examining their weapons and assets. The silence was interrupted by Celestia entering the room again.
"Ahh," she began. "I see you have taken quite a shine to your weapons. I had the liberty of having my guards clean them before we set them up. Alex, could you come with me please?"
"Sure." said Alex, as he left the room.
"Alex, I have wondered how these things work. I'm going to take to a training court and you are going to show a bunch of guards these weapons. Oh, I forgot. Your squad's ranks are all First Lieutenant. I have assigned each of you four a squad of your command, but I would like you to crown them first, as you seem to be the one that was in charge of Piledriver."
"I was, Celestia. I had them under my command. But a new squad of ponies seems nice."
"Great, but please treat them with respect. These are the most talented fighters we have, and they are all under your control. Now," she said, as they entered a courtyard with manikins set up on one end. "Show us how it is done."
"Hello, everypony."
"'Sup." came the reply from most of them.
"I'm your new squad leader."
As soon as those words were muttered, they all saluted and stood at the pony version of attention.
"Stand to. I am here to demonstrate the power of the weapons we humans possess. Please, step out of the way so I can see the manikins."
"Sir yes sir!" they all chanted, as they stepped out of the way.
Alex took a deep breath, and aimed down his ACOG sight. He rested the crosshair on the manikin's head, and, releasing his breath, shot a round down the courtyard. The air was pierced with a loud shattering sound, and the manikin's head was destroyed.
A chorus of "Ooooooo"'s erupted from the crowd, as they proceeded to clap.
"Thank you, but I must warn you. These weapons are capable of killing somepony instantly. So I advise you, let me lead the pack if we go into battle."
"Sir yes sir!"
"Squad, report in."
"Halo, reporting in!"
"Amplify, reporting in!"
"Shockwave, reporting in!"
"Conspire, reporting in!"
"Cyclone, reporting in!"
"Are you prepared for anything anypony can throw at us?!"
"Sir yes sir!"
"Then I believe we will get along just fine then!"
"I hope you do," started Celestia. "Because you are going to be staying together until death do you part. Alex, you will still be able to co-en side with your squad, though. If you excuse me, I need to introduce your fellow squad members to their new platoons. If you excuse me..."
And with that, she left the courtyard.
Alex was making his way down the corridor that lead to the courtyard, and he had a lot of things on his mind. Most of it was along the lines of 'I'm in charge of a squad of ponies. Mother could you see me now.', but one thing was really bothering him. Since he had been given a new squad, would he still be able to see his own? Having a large platoon at his command was admirable from his standpoint but Alex always had had a special connection with the people he had worked with. Daniel, for example. Alex and he had known each other since university, and they both pursued the military track career. The face that Alex had when he saw Daniel in the recruiting centre was a picture frame moment. When he enrolled, he met up with another four people. Rhod, Connor, Jacob and Adam. Jacob and Adam had been assigned to different squads years ago, and Alex could barely remember what they looked like. Alex was quickly jerked out of his daydreams by a voice protruding from behind him.
"Sir!"
Alex whipped round and saw a grey pony with a dark red mane, and in his forewrist (Alex had no idea what it was called) was a spear.
"I know you, Shockwave, wasn't it?"
"Correct, sir! Our squad advisor, Bronze Shielded, has requested that you attend a meeting with him. The squad has been asked to come along as well."
"Okay, lead the way, Shock. Also, don't call me sir. Call me Alex."
"Roger that, s- Alex!"
Alex then proceeded to follow Shockwave through the interlocking corridors that made up the Canterlot Palace Barracks. It turned out to be much larger than Alex thought, as it took nearly 25 minutes to reach the meeting room. Inside were a collection of other ponies, along with Rhod, Daniel and Connor. There was also the remainder of Alex's squad. A earth brown pony stepped up to Alex.
"Ah, you must be Alex."
His mane was a metallic grey, and had streaks of white running through it. The same was to be said for his tail.
"And you must be Bronze Shielded."
"You catch on quick dear boy. Now, please take a seat. We have a pressing matter we must attend to."
Alex sat down next to Cyclone, and proceeded to listen to Bronze.
"Now, I know it is very quick of me to ask you of this, considering you have only been enlisted one day, but we have some distressing news to turn to. A changeling hive has been sighted to the north of Appaloosa, and we need you to clear it out. Are you up to it?"
There was a corresponding cheer of 'Yes sir!'s from everybody, except Rhod. He looked pale, and he was writhing in his seat worriedly.
"What's the matter Rhod? Please don't tell me changelings are immortal now..." inquired Alex.
"They're not immortal, just they are... disturbing, to say the least. From what I've seen in the show, they can turn people into zombies. I don't wanna become a zombie!"
"You're not gonna turn into a zombie. Simple as that. Now buck up, "Die for Peace", remember?"
"Yea. Die for Peace." said Rhod, as he bro fisted Alex.
"That reminds me," said a familiar voice. "Why do you all have the same cutie mark? And on your foreleg? Fascinating."
"Miss Heartstrings," began Bronze. "May I ask how in tarturus did you get into the barracks?"
"I have my methods. Alex?"
"They are not cutie marks. They are tattoos."
"Ta... toos?"
"Umm, how do I put this, since humans can't get cutie marks, they are like manual cutie marks. They don't represent our talents though."
"Yea," chuckled Connor. "I can't see a human's special talent being the Chinese word for soup."
Alex snickered.
"How would that even be a talent?"
"Ah-hem." said Bronze. "May I remind you you are still in a military establishment?"
Alex gulped. "You sound exactly like Merit... Fuck."
"Merit?"
"Look in the dictionary. Ass. 1. A species of donkey. 2. An insult, e.g. 'Charlie Merit is an ass.'"
"Oh, for my own sake i'm just not going to delve into this."
"Good idea."
"Back to buisness, you will dropped off near the hive via sky chariot. Daniel, your squad will flank the hive to the right. Connor, the left. Rhod, your squad, them being pegasi, will provide air support. Alex, your squad being the bulk, will attack through the main hive enterance. Understood?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. You set off at 0500 tomorrow. I suggest that tonight you prepare."
Alex was in the shared storage room, where Celestia had place their weapons, ammo and supplies. He was checking over his list of essentials.
"Rifle, check. Pistol, check. 10 clips of ammo for each, check. Matches, check. Glowlights, check. Silencers, check. All clear."
"Alex," began Connor. "Do you really have to read your checklists out loud?"
"It helps me concentrate."
"Whatever. It pisses me off."
"Everything pisses you off, Derps."
"How many times have I told you not to call me that? You know that I dropped out of college."
"That's the whole goddamn point."
"Well stop it."
"Free country, dude."
"You don't know that! We are in Equestria, remember?"
"Equestri-wha?"
"Equestria. It's the name of the continent."
"Wow. Derps has a measurable intelligence. That's new."
All that came from Connor was a low growl, close to that of a threatened cat. Alex looked down at his bag. The bag had been lent to him from Celestia after the briefing. He noticed the pistol shining from the single light bulb in the room. That reminded him, how did ponies discover electricity? He glanced down at his watch. 11 pm.
"Hey, Connor?"
"Yea."
"Wanna grab our pistols and silencers and head out for some target practice? Gonna need as much skills as we are gonna get."
"Yes, I suppose. Come on."
And with that, the two made their way to the courtyard. To their surprise, when they arrived there, Rhod and Daniel were there. They were popping shots at the manikins, probably practising their skills aswell.
"Hey guys!" called out Alex.
As soon as Alex called this a gunshot was heard coming from Daniel.
"Dude, what the fuck?! I nearly shot someone!"
"Oopsie. Anyway, you here to practice your skills too?"
"Nah," replied Rhod. "We just wanted to fuck up some mainkins." His words were dripping liquid sarcasm.
Alex and Connor pulled up next to Rhod and Daniel. It was there after Alex had taken a few pop shots that he realized.
"Hey guys?"
"Yea?"
"I've only just realized, but this is the first time since yesterday that we have been together."
"So? It's only been a day."
"Yes, but remember that we are going to battle tomorrow. I'm not being pessimistic, but we may not be able to see eachother after this."
"Aww. Way to lighten the mood, dumbass."
"Ah. Daniel and his use of the word dumbass. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like without you."
"You'd be fucking dead."
"Maybe."
"Anyway, what was your point?"
"I just want to say thank you to all of you, just in case we don't make it out tomorrow."
"Yea. Thanks, buddy."
"Thanks."
"Thank you."
And with that, they fired shots into the night, preparing for what to come next.
Date Unknown
Canterlot Palace Barracks
Alex William Casual
So. I finally was able to write in this journal. It's not my journal, I stole it from Twi. Hope she doesn't mind. I just needed to get the feelings Iv'e had for a few days out on paper. Celestia postponed the trip to the changeling hive, so I have some time to burn. It all started with that damn teleportation project. God knows whose idea that was, but when (and if) I get home I'm gonna pound his face into his skull. Everything that happened was just so unexpected, so god damn messed up. One day, I was doing press-ups in Iraq, now? I'm in a world called "Ecwestria" or some shit like that in the royal guard. Funny how time changes things, even though Iv'e been here for only about 5 days.
For the record, I don't know why Rhod is so happy about this change. Sure, I feel a bit envious about him, being in a world of his choice, but wait until he realizes that we may not have the chance to go back home. Just think about that, then you'll be sorry. Dammit, I'm getting sidetracked.
The real reason I'm writing in here is not mainly to do with my feelings, it's about a problem Iv'e been having for the last day or so. I have two large lumps at the top of my back, and they are giving out a fair deal of pain. Of course, I have been hiding the feelings of pain very well, because, well, I'm amazing. I love how modest I am.
It is kinda bothering me though. Where did the lumps come from? I personally don't know, because this is a different world after all. I could have a virus that eats away at me until I become a zombie, and I am forced to eat the juicy flesh of my fellow beings to survive!
I really need to stop watching The Walking Dead.
Onto more serious business, I am a bit worried about this battle. From what I have heard about these "Changelings", they seem pretty messed up to me. Able to take on the shape and form of any living thing to deceive their subjects into coming with them to the hive to be assimilated into one of them, sounds like a really bad horror film. But a horror film, none the less. Apparently, according to the people that have made their way out of the hives, they put you in like a cucoon that makes you relax so they can morph you into one of them. They didn't say how it made you relax, so if I am captured I'm in for one hell of a surprise.
Daniel's coming into my quarters now, gotta go!
"Alex?" asked Daniel, his body just becoming visible from where Alex was sitting.
"Yeah?"
"Oh," said Daniel, making his way over to the desk where Alex was sitting. "Taking your hand up in writing, I see. May I look?"
"No!" said Alex, a little too loudly as he reached over and grabbed the journal from the desk, holding it securely in his arms.
"Why not?"
"Because..... because..... Look! A bird!" shouted Alex, pointing behind the space where Daniel was standing.
"You really think that can fool me? I'm not four. Please, now let me see your writing?"
"I'd prefer if you didn't."
"Please?"
"No..."
"Pretty please?...." siad Daniel as he put on the best puppy dog impression that he could.
"No!"
"Fine, jeez. I'm heading off to the dining room, want anything?"
"Nah, I'm okay." said Alex as he turned around to put the journal on his shelf in his temporary barracks. Or permanent barracks. He didn't know yet if they were going to go back to their homne which had just been purchased for them.
Daniel was just about to turn around and leave when something caught his eye. From what he could see from Alex's T-shirt, there appeared to be two lumps, causing the sirt to tent up in two places.
"Hey, Alex? What are those lumps on your back?"
Alex gave a deep sigh and replied, "I don't know. I think I must've fallen on something and they bruised up or something like that."
"No, they are evenly spaced apart. Too much of a coincidence to be accidental."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Mind if I see them so I can check?"
"Why would you want to see them?"
"Before I met you, I studied a lot of medical stuff. I just want to help."
"Fine," said Alex. "But just don't tell anyone."
As he said this, Alex lifted his shirt up, revealing the two lumps to Daniel. He heard a short gasp, then Daniel replied.
"Woah dude, they are bright red! And are they, furry?"
"Furry?"
"Yeah! Mind if I touch them?"
"Sure, just be gentle."
As Daniel leaned in, Alex could hear him whisper "That's what she said.." under his breath, but when Daniel finger made contact Alex yelled out in surprise.
"EEK! Jesus man, that's weird!"
"Did it hurt?"
"No, it just felt sensitive... VERY sensitive."
"Strange.... Nothing I can diagnose as of yet. Anyway, probably just some bruises, as you said. Again, I'm going down to the dining room. Bye." he said, as he turned and left the squad captain to his own. As Alex turned around to say goodbye to Daniel, he noticed a lump on his forehead, protruding about 3cm.
"What are these things....." Alex muttered as he went back to his desk, to think about the events that had just taken place.
Alex awoke from the noises of steel wheels clanking against the polished metal rails. It was a sound that Alex loved to hear ever since he was a young boy, even if the train he was currently riding on looked like a little girl's fantasy. Not joking.
Bright pink carriages, insignias of all things feminine, I could go into more detail but if I did it would be as effective as a sex change.
Looking over to his left, he could see Daniel and Amplify playing a game of chess. Chess. Alex's worst nightmare. He just could not see the point in such a menial board game. Behind them, Rhod was still in his chair, reclining into the peaceful respite that was sleep. The only thing Alex treasured more than flying was precious sleep. And lastly, Connor and Shockwave were engaged in a long conversation about god knows what subjects.
"Oh god, my head.."
"Oh good, you're up! I know you like sleep, but fourteen hours? Really?"
"FOURTEEN HOURS! JEEZ!"
"What in sweet ass tits is going on here!" shouted a rather alarmed Rhod, bashfully pulled out of his dreamland.
"Just go back to sleep Actual."
"Nah. You know me, once I am awake I stay awake."
"Good timing too," shouted Amplify from across the carriage, who had been eavesdropping on the other's converstaion from his side of the moving room. "We are about to arrive in Appleloosa. Ten minutes out, if I recall correctly."
"Yeah," mumbled Shockwave. "If I were to give out a bit of advice, it would be to get your weapons ready. My opinion, honestly."
"Fine. Squad, get locked and loaded ready for our arrival. I doubt that the locals will take kindly to a completely different species with very dangerous weapons arriving in their town."
"Got it." shouted Connor.
"Roger." said Rhod.
"Sure thing." mumbled Daniel, before a bump from the train caused his chess board to fly onto the floor, spreading the chess pieces everywhere.
"Ahh piss..."
"Do not worry," said a slightly annoyed conductor who had just walked into the carriage. "I will ahve the cleaners clean that up later."
"Okay," said Alex, standing up. Let's go and get our equipment."
After about four minutes of collecting the necessary equipment (Guns, Silencers, other stuff required for the Changeling Hive attack) Alex was ready to leave the trian. As the carriages came to a screeching halt in the station, it became clear to Alex that there was no one/pony on the platform.
Making his way outside, the only living thing on the platform was a bird on a pole, and it looked very different from the birds Alex was used to seeing back home.
It had very distinctively human facial features, like a nose that similar in design to human's; no snout on there, along with many more humanized feature. Just before the conductor stepped back inside the train, Alex decided to speak up.
"Hey conductor, what is that bird over there?"
"The bird? Oh, that is Appleloosa's famous PootBird!"
"PootBird? That's a very odd name for a bird."
"It's an odd bird. It fitted it well. Also, it kinda looks like you."
"Ha ha ha, very funny."
"Look, I gotta get going. Bye!"
"Bye."
Making his way slowly and cautiously out of the station, followed by his friends and squad, he was bombarded by the bright sunlight, as well as a few camera flashes.
"Aww crap, this is gonna be just like back in Ponyville isn't it?"
"Mr Human!" shouted an unidentifiable reporter. "Why have you come to Appleloosa? Are you a terrorist? What is that device you have strapped to your ba-"
"I don't care for reporters," said Alex, coldly. "So piss off before I rip that skull from your head."
Many shocked gasps erupted from the crowd of ponies surrounding Alex.
"B-but I just wanted to-"
"Go away. All of you."
Some of the ponies gathered started to physically shake as they backed away, leaving in their wake a path to a hotel of some sorts.
Walking forward through the newly created path, Alex could make out more key feature on the building. I looked like any old Wild Western themed building, except it actually looked to be inhabited by sapient beings, instead of robot grandpa rocking back and forth in fake silicone rocking chairs. It had a thatched roof (like every other goddamn building in this world) and wooden supports running up and down the side. The walls inbetween were painted a rusty brown.
"Hey Daniel," shouted Alex, somehow managing to project his voice behind him. "Is this the place Celestia told us to go?"
No response.
"Dan?!"
Turning around, he could see the rest of his friends being ruthlessly attacked with questions from the reporters. But the strange thing was, they were answering all the questions with smiles on their faces. It was like they were enjoying it.
"You've gotta be kidding me..." muttered Alex under his breath as he made his way over to the bustling crowd of ponies.
"Shows over folks, now fuck off."
A little taken aback by Alex's use of foul language, one of them decided to speak up.
"Well excuse me, but that is some salty language! You kiss your mother with that mouth!"
Alex could feel his hands turning into fists.
"My mother died when I was a young boy." muttered Alex through gritted teeth.
"Oh," said the woman in question, her annoyed frown turning into a consoling, blank expression. " Well, I'm very sorry for your loss..." trying to put on a quick smile to lift his feelings.
"Hey guys, your moment in the spotlight is over, remember why we came here in the first place?"
"Five more minutes!" shouted Connor, though the loud voices of the reporters.
"Nope. Get your sorry ass over here."
"Fine." said Connor, shortly followed by Dan and Rhod. Following Alex, the crowd of ponies shortly decided to disperse, leaving the peaceful town to it's pristine state.
"Is this the building Mrs. Incest told us to meet up in?"
"Yes, and it's Celestia." said a rather confused Rhod.
"No shit. Come on."
Walking through the front door to the hotel, the receptionist took one undisturbed look at the group, and then looked back down at some paperwork.
"My highness, your monkey friends are here!" she shouted while still looking down at her paperwork.
"Asshat..." mumbled Daniel under his breath.
"Ah! My soldiers of fortune. You're here! Oh Conspire, what happened to you?!" Celestia said, suddenly looking oiver the humans' shoulder to look at a bruised Conspire.
"My highness," said Conspire, coughing. "Someone mugged me."
Celestia shook her head in the way that suggested 'You incompetent idiot'.
"You have training in the Royal Guard and somepony mugs you? Mother of me..."
"Mother of you?" asked a very confused Alex.
"I'm a goddess," said Celestia, her face still in her hooves after having a Jesus facepalm at Conspire's situation. "I move the sun every morning and lower it at sunset."
"YOU MOVE A FUCKING STAR?!" shouted Connor, somewhat mindfucked at Celestia's last remark.
"Well, yes. Why is that such a surprise to you?"
"Because on earth we don't have fucking Obama move a interplanetary object!" shouted Connor.
"Wow, interplanetary object, is Connorkins using fancy-smancy words again?" mocked Rhod.
"I will end you." said Connor through gritted teeth.
"Moving on," interrupted Celestia. "I have prepared some dinner for you. The chef's are simply excellent at this place."
"Sounds good to me," said Daniel. "I haven't eaten since we left Ponyville."
"There was food on the train." said Rhod.
"Last time I ate on a train, I vomited out the window." said Daniel
"That's gross." said everyone in unison, even Celestia.
After a good dinner of epic wafflez (only way I could get you in there without sounding retarded. Fourth wall status: Decimated) and milk, the boys headed up to their respective rooms for the night, and everyone fell asleep within time.
Waking up, Alex could hear the birds chirping and the eagles howling. It sounded so peaceful, it would do if the fact that Alex would be blowing heads off later in the afternoon didn't overshadow him.
Stretching, Alex could hear rapping at the door.
"Come in."
"Oh hai Alex," said Cyclone. Ready?"
"Yep."
Considering that Alex didn't have any other clothes other than his uniform, he was more ready than he could ever be. Grabbing his gun off of the nearby table, he turned to face Cyclone.
"The sky chariot is being prepared for the flight to the hive, so I would just do anything you need to do quickly."
"Got it."
"Okay. I'll see you later." said Cyclone, making his way down the stairs to the reception.
Picking his headset and pistol of the bedside table, Alex began making his way down the stairs as well. Arriving outside, he could see that his squad was in one chariot, while all of his friends were in other separate chariots. Climbing in, he walked to the front of the chariot, towards the driver.
"Lets go."
Alex's headset - Red
Rhod's headset - Blue
Connor's headset - Brown
Daniel's headset - Orange
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Alex in position, over.
Connor in position, over.
Daniel in position, over.
How the fuck does this thing work again?
Alex facepalmed
Rhod, are you in the sniper position?
Affirmative. Waiting on your order to take the shot.
Alex could currently see four guards surrounding the spire that was the entrance of the changeling hive. They were clad in a black exoskeleton, and they had glowing blue eyes.
"Eat lead you ass turd monkey fuckers." said Alex, moving the headset away from his head.
Take the shot.
Alex's headset - Red
Daniel's headset - Orange
Connor's headset - Brown
Rhod's headset - Blue
Take the shot.
A second after Alex muttered this phrase, the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot rang through the air. Looking down at where the bullet was supposed to hit, Alex could a Changeling leaning up against the wall, and as he slowly slid down the wall it revealed a splash of blood and brain matter glued to the spire. He could see the Changeling who was next to him eyes light up in fear, before he too was taken down with another gunshot ringing through the air.
Two tangos down. Four to go. Connor, this is your time to shine.
Got it!
Shortly after, Alex could hear the roar of a war cry, followed by the stamping of hooves. Looking over to his right, Alex could see Connor charging towards the spire, followed about half a dozen ponies behind him. Even though he admired Connor's courage, he couldn't have felt a little peeved at the fact that Connor had disregarded all sense of stealth.
As you would think, as Connor was running down towards the spire, he fired off a whole clip worth of bullets. All but one of them hit the side of the spire, but one managed to get itself lodged in the side of a Changeling's chest. It spluttered something unintelligible, then collapsed to the floor. Motionless. Connor quickly got out a new clip, and as he was reloading he pointed towards the other three Changelings left, signalling for his squad to finish them off.
They did as he commanded, and all of them simultaneously charged, kicking up a large cloud of dust behind them. The dust blocked Alex's view for about twenty seconds, and when it was clear he could see many of Connor's squad standing over the Changeling's dead bodies.
Connor, you got some talented ponies with ya.
I know right? Really makes you feel like you're in safe hands. came the static covered reply.
Connor, you are in charge of them, not the other way round.
Guess what? Shut it.
Shut up all of you, ready for the next stage. Everyone/pony, charge the spire!
He shouted this so the headset could pick it up, but so could the ponies who were crouching behind him. Pointing towards the spire, Alex started to run forward, squad in tow. His gun suddenly felt very heavy in his hands, but that was because he wasn't exactly the most fit person in the world back on Earth. Persevering and running forward once more, Alex could hear the clipity clopity of hooves behind him. God he loved that noise.
After about thirty seconds of solid running, all four squads met around what they presumed to be the entrance, a large gaping hole the size of a truck.
So, how are we gonna go about this?
I say we charge in. Surely brute force will be the way of the future. Amplify, got the explosive ready?
"Yeah!" shouted a deep croaky voice from behind him.
Okay, let's charge!
Shortly after, the clipity clopity of hooves and feet picked up once again, as the small army made their way inside the black towering spire.
Disgusting.
The only word going through Alex's head at that moment was Disgusting.
Black walls, black floor, black ceiling, and to top it off lots of neon green slime dripping form above in the narrow corridors packed with what looked like black cocoons.
Effectively, it looked like a child's nightmare.
"They must be nocturnal," muttered Alex, discarding his headset long ago. "All of them are sleeping inside those cocoon things."
"Looks like a beehive. But with no bees." said Connor.
"How does this place share any fucking resemblance to a beehive?" mumbled Daniel, who was standing next to Alex as they delved deeper to the main barracks; where they were to set of the explosive.
"Fine. Sorry, mister Technicality..."
"Look." interrupted Rhod. "If they are nocturnal, it will be eaier to plant the bomb without these, these things knowing."
"I guess you are right." responded Conspire. "Amplify, still got a hold of it?"
"Yep." came the muffled response.
After several minutes of silent, monotonous walking, they reached what looked like some sort of mess hall. It had a black table, many stools, and off to the right was a counter. Near the top of the room was a large set of double doors, that presumably led to the main barracks.
"Okay, drill time. We go for a breach. All of us on the left and rights sides of that door, and I will open it. I will signal if clear. Understood?"
A chorus of 'Yes sir's came back to Alex's ears.
"Just what I like to hear."
Moving into position, alex could hear the muffled sound of talking from within the barracks. Leaning forward, Alex could hear what they were saying.
"B-but Chrysalis," came a young female voice. "I-I have a husband and children! Please, may your kind soul have mercy on me this time? Please?!"
"Me? Kind soul?" came a deeper, but still feminine voice. "You seem to have me mixed up with another one of you, you whining little bitch. Now, just hold still...."
"You guys hearing thi-" Alex was cut off by an ear-piercing scream erupting from the room they were situated outside of.
"Breach."
Alex, with all his strength and might, kicked open the door, shredding it to pieces. When the dust from the wreck cleared, Alex could see a large black mare with dark green hair. She was currently in the task of impaling a cream coloured pegasus with her horn, and Alex could see blood on the ground. There were about 50 changelings surrounding the black mare, which Alex interpreted to be the cult leader or something. All the changelings were string at the door, their bright blue eyes open wide with shock. Slowly turning around, the black mare looked at the group of 18 troops with a hatred only known to Lucifer himself. With a cold, heartless voice she said:
"Well? What are you waiting for, children?"
As these words were muttered, Alex could hear a deafening buzz as all of the changelings took off into the air,a their fly like instincts telling them to charge at the opposers. Alex fired off 14 rounds into the swarm, all shots hitting and killing some. Rhod, Daniel and Connor soon joined in on the firing, and so did the pony troops with their spears. They charged in a multitude of directions, their blades taking down the changeling like a hot knife through butter. Gunshots rang through the once desolate air, as the changelings fired their neon green magic bursts in all directions, one of them hitting anything but the walls and the ceiling.
Alex once again heard that oh so familiar voice of Chrysalis.
"Any last words?"
Surprised at her choice of vocabulary, Alex quickly looked over in the direction he heard her voice. Being held down by Chrysalis was none other than Shockwave, his struggling being easily contained by the devil mare. Looking over to Alex with new found courage in his eyes, he turned back to Chrysalis.
"Yeah. Die for Peace."
"NO!" shouted Alex, but it was too late. Alex saw the burst of energy come expelling out of Chrysalis' horn, the beam hitting Shockwave straight in the chest. His blood splattered everywhere, and all that was left of his torso was a gaping, seeping hole.
"You fucking faggot!"
"Language, now dearie." said Chrysalis, looking up from her newest victim. "Do you even think that your weapons can defeat me? The mighty Queen of the Changelings?! I can protect myself easily from all the spears and blades in the wor-. That's not a spear, is it?"
"No, bitch. Die for Peace. Not in Peace."
Alex shot of twenty rounds into the Queen's head, sending yet more green blood everywhere. It coated the nearby wall and floor, as her lifeless body hit the ground. As her head hit the cold black tiles, the rest of the swarm dropped dead, and a satisfying 'Kablomb' sound was heard.
"Woot!" shouted Rhod. "All of them are dead now, right?!"
"As much as you may know," corrected Amplify. "They can still stay active for another 24 hou- SHOCKWAVE?! NO!"
Amplify ran towards his deceased friends body, tears falling free from his eyes.
"Fucking hell..."
Walking slowly over to where Amplify was sobbing over his friends loss, Alex decided to speak up.
"Amplify, you need to focus. We can get them back for what she did. I know it won't bring him back, but it will help. Now come on, let's blow these suckers sky high before they wake up again. After all, you are the only one here who knows how to activate the bomb."
"I-I guess you are right. Come on." said Amplify, holding out his hoof. Alex gladly shook it, as he walked over to the centre of the room where the bomb was to be planted. Amplify followed him shortly after, and did the pony equivilent of kneeling as he pulled a bomb-like object out from his saddlebags. After fiddling with a few buttons and wires, an annoying beeping sound echoed throughout the room.
"That's our queue!" said Alex, running out of the room quickly, followed shortly after by his (now reduced) squad members. He cruised through the tight passages and corners, jumped over ledges and cocoons on the floor. Slime was still dripping from the ceiling and at one point it landed on Alex's arm, and it burnt through the top layer of skin. 'It must be acid.' figured Alex. After a solid five minutes of running Alex was finally out in the sweet sunshine again, accompanied by his squad. They couldn't stop now though. Pelting up the banks where they had first set up and down the other side, Alex moved into position where he could get a good view of the detonation and still be safe. Looking down, he could see Amplify galloping, before shortly jumping and landed beside Alex.
"Amplify, how long left till the explosion?"
"Explosion should be happening right about........ now."
*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Looking behind him just after the blast had finished, Alex looked in marvel at his bumps on his back.
"What the fuck are you?"
THE END
Because my new story has gotten a whopping 57 views, i am gonaa greedy and advertise it more
New Story: Ejected Casings
Please Read & Enjoy :-)
"Hello," began the reporter. She was very tall, and had pale red dyed hair. She was given the position at the TV company 4 years ago, and she was good at it.
"Hello, and welcome to news at 10. The war is still raging in Iraq, but there is something out of the ordinary happening. Yesterday in the early hours of the morning, an American base in the south sector of Iraq was attacked by none other than flying horses. Yes, you heard me right, flying horses. These "pegasi" as they refer to themselves, attacked base Delta 4, killing many different soldiers. They were stopped just after 8:00pm in the night, and the base is currently under heavy repairs. Joe is currently interviewing a witness, Joe?"
*A TRANSITION*
"Thanks, Maria. I am here with Sgt. James Acre, one of the soldiers who was working at the station when they attacked. What exactly happened, sergeant?"
"Well, I had just left the mess hall when I heard what sounded like a gunshot coming from east of the base. When I looked in that direction, there were loads of, what looked like aircraft to me at the time. I went back inside, grabbed my Rifle, and by the time I had made it back out they were already above the compound."
"Did they do anything else after that?"
"Yeah. They shouted out that they would take over the world, and we would bow to the, what was it...... Ah! Yes. They said we would bow to the "Shadowbolt Empire" or some *BLEEP* like that."
"Wow, what happened next?"
"They started to descend, but very slowly so we were able to take a few out. When they did land though... they..... they killed...... so many..... please. I can't do this. I-I'm sorry..."
"Well I've seen it all. Back to you Maria."
"Ok, onto other news, Lady Gaga has recently given birth to her tenth baby, and has named her Ondleep Kareoke Bilbo III."
At the reconstructed Delta 4 base, in Iraq.
"I can't believe they put that on television."
"Me neither!"
"Good thing they didn't put that thing up about Merit, jeez."
"What thing about Merit?"
"Didn't you hear? He went on like a fucking rampage and killed like 30 people."
"No way! Jesus..."
"I know right? Sucker was messed up in the head...."
"LIGHTS OUT!"
"I guess that's us."
"Yea. 'Night."
"'Night."
Due to my insufficient need for completion, I have made an epilogue. Deal with it.
Lots of Thanks to:
PootBird - For support
epic wafflez - For support
Mr.Doctrine - Best Literacy/English teacher ever
And all of my followers because you rock (woohoo)
DISCLAIMER:
ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY THAT ARE OOC ARE DESIGNED TO BE. e.g. CELESTIA IS DESIGNED TO BE INTIMIDATING
Also, here is a sneak peak of the next story I am working on:
Alex grumbled awake again from an uncomfortable sleep, those bumps on his back were getting in the way a lot now. Stumbling out onto the cold, stone barracks floor, he made his way towards the wardrobe. He didn't have many clothes, and the only ones he had other than the flight suit he arrived in were custom made by a Miss Rarity. Taking out a red T-Shirt and denim jeans, he proceded to get dressed. But something was wrong.
"Rhod," Alex called out through the wall to the other bedroom. "You used to be a tattoo artist right?!"
"Yeah," came a half awake response. "Why?"
"Can tattoos randomly appear out of nowhere?"
"Why the hell are you asking me this, it's 6 AM."
"Why the fuck is there a picture of an M4 on my ass?"
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN
Sequel should be out in the next 2 months or so by the way.