Pinkie has officially jacked this story

(A/N: Why the fuck is My little Dashie and Anthropology in the related stories?)

It literally took Pinkie and Confetti 2 milliseconds to bust into other ponies houses, sing them the invitation song and then herd them to the party. Needless to say the ponies of Ponyville already knew of Pinkie's "otherworldy" abilities. What they didn't expect though. Was how Confetti did it.

"HEY WAKE UP CUPCAKES IT'S PARTY TIME!" Shouted Confetti as he jumped in between the sheets of Lyra and Bon-bon's Bed. They were having the private "Sexy timez" when suddenly CONFETTI!

"Wow what the hay?!?" Shouted Bon-bon as she quickly separated from her love Lyra who was just looking up at the stallion with shock.

"IT'S A BUCKING PARTY! NOW GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF BED AND LET'S DO THIS!" He shouted shoving a letter into her mouth and jumping back underneath the sheets.

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AUTHOR POWERS! GO! Ya though I think y'all know what's gonna happen here. So basically Confetti and Pinkie-

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

TADAY AIN'T YA DAY PANKAKES.

Oh sweet J-Bus we're just gonna be breaking all the rules today ain't we?

Goddamit you two i'm trying to sleep here.

NO SHUT UP! NOT YOUR TIME YET ASSWHIPE!

Okay so we're gonna do that now? We gonna be that guy right now?

Yes, i'ma be that guy right now.

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Dendai!

Dendai!

Dendai.

Dendai!

And we now have Pinkie....fuck.

And this is why you need blue pills.

Shut up DB you're not helping.

I like kelp.

Kelp?!? Kelp?!? It tastes like nasty mc-nastiness! It's green and disgusting and for animals!

I don't think you realize the inaccuracy of that statement. YOU ARE A GODDAM HORSE.

Look, this is getting out of hand, can we get back to the story now?

Yeah sure. Save me from another bout of absolute madness.

Because nobody, FUCKS with the white mage.

And just like that I'm one step closer to murder.

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So after inviting pretty much everypony over, Confetti got to work mixing drinks.

"Hey Pinkie! Give me about 5 minutes here! I'm almost done!" He shouted to the Pink mare behind the massive Underground Drink Lab that was magically activated by re-orienting Gummy's eyes.

And because I'm a lazy bastard i'ma just time skip :3

(A/N: FUCK IT. NO. JUST FUCK THIS STORY. I'MA BLOW THIS SHIT OUTTA MY ASS!)

So's about 30 and a half gazillion hours later ponies started to show up to sugarcube corner and dey was all liek WAZZUP?! And Pinkie was all like "YO BITCHES WE GON GET THIS PARTAY, STARTED!"

Okay! So after ponies started showing up, they began to mingle and eat some of the pastries laid out before them. And then there was giant orgy! FUCK SENSE I'MA EAT YOUR FACE OFF!

Okay...back on topic here. So's everypony was just hanging see? And den Pinkie was all liek.

"Attention everypony! I'd like to welcome the guest of honor for this here event! Confetti!" She shouted pointing to the wall.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" Shouted Confetti running out of the back wall area, on top of his back precariously balanced was a huge tri-layer of drinks, like a champagne fountain.

"Fuglies and Mentelgen! I'd like to point your general interest and shit  towards that flaming tower of awesomeness now being eaten by gummy Goddamit GUMMY!"

He shouted chasing the small Alligator until it dismounted the drink fountain.

"Alrighty then! Who want's the first go?!?" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

And Berry Punch ran up on stage and grabbed a bottle of black liquor while shouting" BITCH ME." And as she sipped, instantly she felt the buzz one associates with being drunk. After swishing the liquid around for a little, she suddenly stopped dead still.

"THIS GOT ME INSTA-DRUNK! IMPOSIBRUUU!!!!"  She shouted jumping off stage to go rage at a toaster.

"ALRIGHT EVERYPONY! LET'S PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!" He shouted, SugarCube corner erupted in applause as ponies went up onstage to grab drinks and such.

Needless to say,  fun time was in order as music blared and ponies danced. Confetti sat back behind the counter dishing out drinks.

The day after

Confetti awoke with a groan. "Sweet baby duckfuckers what happened last night?" He asked to no one in particular.

Head throbbing, he shook his head to clear his vision.

And what he saw, made him smile and hold his head in mock attempt not to laugh.

Rarity was passed out in the center of Sugarcube corner, her head was somehow embedded into a pie. She groaned softly and rolled away. Confetti had to shove his hoof down his throat to stop his laughter. On top of her head where her horn should have been. Was a dildo.

That's right. A giant horse dong. Was her horn.

Crying tears of laughter he turned his head from left to right and almost lost it. Rainbow Dash passed out on a table, both Soarin and Spitfire were on top of her in a very...provocative manor.

A friggin coatrice and manticore were apparently asleep on top of each other (hint DOGGY STYLE). He decided to venture upstairs.

There was Applejack with her head shoved into the drywall of the upstairs of Sugarcube corner. Twilight was asleep in a fetal position on the middle of the hallway. There was semen...EVERYWHERE. And when I mean everywhere I mean a white christmas would be jealous. These ponies had somehow managed to paint the walls white. Somepony actually drew a dick into the white wall. Confetti reluctantly stuck a hoof inside the semen artwork and he shuddered as his hoof was sucked into the cream sauce like it was pie.

Vinyl Scratch, a close friend to the mane 6 who had been hired that night, had a vinyl dis stuck onto her head. Somehow she had managed to grow about 6 feet and was now sprouting wings and a Celestial Necklace complete with billowing electric blue hair.

Twilight...Twilight looked like Cousin It from the Adam's family. If you took away the hair and replaced it with semen. Actually thinking about it she looked more like a snowman...a stinky...hair covered....snowman.

Oh and did I mention there was cream sauce everywhere?

THERE WAS FUCKING BOOZE AND CREAM SAUCE EVERYWHERE. Confetti spotted a small contained microwave. Within it sat (somehow) Scootaloo, the little orange filly was, like everyone around her, passed out.

Now on the verge of tears, he ran outside and started laughing, hard.

But what sent him over the edge was an Cessna stuck dead straight in the roof, on it's side it read:

THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DILLWEAD MUTHABUCKAS!

Smiling, he made his way back inside, time to wake up all these sleeping beauties. Be was about to shout when he heard groaning in the silence, curious, he made his way over to the sound and pushed aside piles upon piles of passed out ponies.

Underneath them all was a single alabaster white Pegasus, his mane was crimson red and on his head, he wore a Trilby.

"Heya cupcake, welcome to the real." He said chuckling as he helped the stallion to his feet.

"Thanks man. Oh sweet jebus what happened here?" He asked looking at the utter and total destruction around him.

"Shit happened bro, by the way, name's Confetti." He said holding out a hoof.

The other stallion took his hoof and shook it.

"Mine's Dyrilby, pleasure to meet ya."

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AND FROM THAT DAY ON A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP FILLED WITH RAINBOWS AND GRAVY AND ANT SLAYING WAS BORN!

Dude....why?

BECAUSE POTATOS!

The dumb in that statement. It exceeds maximum capacity.

SO DOES YOUR MOM! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

[bitch smack]

IT IS ON DYRILBY!

GODDAM RIGHT IT IS!

(A/N: Oh yeah, this ain't your mother's PHOJTS. Oh! And i'm looking for OCs! And none of you from LTD! have a special place for you all >:D. Just PM me if your interested)