The Scholar's Laments

MY OBSERVATIONS

AGH!!! I can’t take this anymore! Why!? WHY THE FUCK DID THEY LEAVE US!?!? The question keeps pounding in my head, over and over again, like a hammer smashing down against my skull! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!?!? … … They… … had to have been taken… That’s it. I refuse to believe that they’d leave us of their own free will, that they’d abandon us to… to THIS… … That’s got to be it… They were taken… I’ll search for them, even as I continue to record the events of the war, when I get to my old outpost… if I get there…

I… The dreams are still the same. I haven’t been able to sleep for maybe more than a couple of hours in the last three days… I’m exhausted. As I go further north the air gets colder, and my joints are creaking, my muscles are groaning… My body is older than it used to be, and having to lug all this equipment with minimal sleep and in an increasingly harsher climate is difficult to say the least. Logically, the chances of my surviving the trip to my old outpost are rather slim… and that’s assuming it’s still in any shape to support life when I get there.

The time I take to record events is extending the trip. But I can’t just… not record events. I can’t. I have to, I need to… I need to have it down. For the Princesses when they come back… Or for the next generations of ponies if they never do or… or if they’re dead… … Dear Celestia please don’t be dead… I… … Ahem… … The Everfree Forest is still off-limits to my sight. While the Everfree Forest has always had a certain foreign energy about it I’ve always been able to pierce its veil before, in the times before the war… I believe that this so-called Everfree Liege is likely deliberately blocking the forest off to magical sight, likely as a tactical ploy to build its army and prevent its extermination. The nature of the Everfree Liege itself is a mystery to me… All speculations are premature until I can pierce Everfree’s veil.

Canterlot is also protected from my sight, surrounded by a magical shield designed specifically to prevent long-range gazing, likely a precaution taken against Applejack’s ability. Other Moon and Star cities are only marginally protected comparatively, lacking the backing of the Archmagister’s magical finesse to hide their actions from sight. An amateur would be stopped but I can find the cracks in their protection easily, the effort taken to do so barely worth a footnote. The Cult of Laughter is surprisingly open, and easy to observe, but there are certain areas of the Cult of Laughter that… see back… And when they see me they try to reach me, and I have to blink them away and… I need to find a way to observe them more securely.

Manehatten is open to my sight surprisingly, but the Mistress Rarity is not. There’s… It’s hard to describe exactly but… it’s like a black hole in the picture where she should be. I can’t even tell when she’s eating dinner. The Earthborn… I can observe their cities with impunity, but I can’t watch Applejack, I have to be very cautious when observing Appleloosa. I would be able to see her but she would see me back because of that bucking eye of hers… I do not want her eye turning to me; it would be able to pinpoint my exact location and in her paranoia and rage she’d send somepony to deal with me, no matter how far out of her territory I might be… As long as she doesn’t know I exist though she doesn’t know to look for me… As long as she doesn’t remember me… Treacherous bitch…

Ahem… In short, the scope of my vision is hindered. By my exhaustion yes, but even more so by my lack of equipment and security. My old observation post was never packed up. When we abandoned it we just left everything there save for the most personal of items. We… well… I was the last one to leave. My assistants, my crew… most of them left when they heard of the Royal Sisters disappearance. I don’t really blame them it… it shattered my heart to learn of their vanishing. However I stayed there for the assignment Celestia had given me, to see it through to the end… I and a few others.

We were there for two reasons actually. The first I am still not willing to discuss even in these private logs, the second… was a far simpler and less time-consuming project, one that is highly likely irrelevant by now. We were assigned to watch a single area in Northern Equestria for alteration, magical flows, a sudden and noticeable change. What this change would be we were never told… But considering that a city appeared in the spot, I imagine that that was what Celestia was thinking of when she told us to keep a watch on it.

I was writing the coded message, a very simple one actually that merely required an emphasis and far more vague language than I would normally use, when we received the news that my message wouldn’t be needed because the sisters had vanished… I… … I still can’t properly convey my emotional state after that news.

In any event I stayed as long as I could, until I heard what was going on in Canterlot… I needed to complete my mission… A lot of us didn’t stay though and I don’t really blame them… it was torment being away from my family at a time like that as well… But when they left they left all the equipment behind, only took their personal possessions. When I left I barely took anything, I just… stayed long enough to make sure that things were… secure. Then I bolted… … Our outpost was hidden, it was hard to find… hopefully nopony else has managed to find it and loot it. But I suppose that’s a moot worry if I can’t even get there… … I… I need to try to find someplace to regain my strength… Try to find someway to get there… … I just… … … Well, here’s hoping I can at least get there BEFORE I keel over and start to rot away… Here’s hoping…