The Tale of The Stone-turner

I had to spend the next several minutes explaining to Spike why I had shouted loud enough for half of Ponyville to hear, and then I had to carry the unconscious Twilight up to her room and set her in bed while the dragon laughed his scaly ass off. I walked back down the stairs after dropping off my cargo to find Spike no longer laughing but still with an amused expression.

“Well Spike, I'm going to turn in for the night. If Twilight wakes up and tries to kill me in my sleep could you do me a favor and give me some kind of warning? I would like to face death with my eyes open.”

“No problem Stone, I might even hold her back long enough for you to run.”

“Heh, thanks buddy. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

I went down to my little thrown together sleeping pile in the basement and laid on my not-bed until slumber overtook me.

I was back in the woods. I stared down at the strange chicken monstrosity in my hands, I licked my lips. Something about the creature seemed to call to me, the only thought in my mind was of eating this oddity.

“Feast..”

I brought the creature up to my face and bit into it greedily, it's juices ran down my chin and over my chest. I loved it. Hungrily I tore into the flesh, gobbling up as much as I could in each bite, a strange tingle flowing throughout my body as I ate more and more.

“Feast..”

That tingle! It was like a warm buzz filling my entire being, I had to have more of it. It wasn't long before I had devoured my entire meal, but that wasn't enough for me. I wanted more, no, I needed more. I began scooping as much of the juices as I could off my chin and chest with my hands slurping them down. It didn't satisfy me.

“Feast..”

I slowly looked up my blood coated hands and allowed my tongue to remove the juice from my lips. I had no hesitation as I bit straight thru my own bone and muscle. The pain was immense for just a second but was quickly washed away by pure ecstasy. The flavor didn't matter. The texture didn't matter. All that did matter was that warm buzz returning to me as I consumed myself.

“Feast..”

The rate at which I could easily pull apart my own flesh began to slow. My beak was beginning to have trouble pulling out the tendons in my leathery wing. I ruffled my neck feathers and let out a squawk of annoyance at how my own body would deny itself such splendor. Turning my attention to my other wing I started to open up the skin so I could get at the delicious meat underneath. I had become so fervently engrossed in my self cannibalism that I didn't even look to see what was casting the shadow over me until just before the rock smashed into my skull.

“Feast!”

I broke the surface of the water, gasping for air. I wiped some of the liquid that could pass for spoiled soup from my eyes and blearily made out my surroundings. I was in some sort of a swamp. A scream of fright shattered the relative silence, I whipped my head towards the shore to see a yellow pegasus running from a giant scaled monster. I quickly swam to land, I didn't know what I could do for the creature but I knew I couldn't just do nothing.

“Feast!”

I pulled myself to my feet and staggered towards the pair of creatures. The pegasus had fallen and seemed unable to move while the larger monster simply stood over the body. I made my way up to the larger creature and found it to have large gash across its front, exposing the succulent meat inside it.

“Feast!”

I spread my mouth into a wicked grin and dove into my new meal without a single care. I ripped off large gobs of meat and crammed into my mouth, caring not for the blood and organs spilling out over myself and the pegasus. I climbed into the body of the beast, eating bone, fat, organ, anything I could reach as I devoured the entirety of it from the inside out. Closing my eyes I enjoyed the warm buzz that filled my being.

“Feast!”

I opened my eyes and parted my teeth in anticipation. The yellow pegasus before me was breathing heavily despite how peaceful it looked while unconscious. It had been an annoying chase but it would be worth it to taste the meat, ponies had such delicious flesh. I could feel both joy and impatience coming from my other heads, despite being allowed to take all kills how I pleased they had to be given their fair taste of the spoils quickly or they would attempt to take main control for themselves.

“Feast!”

I opened my jaw fully and brought down my mouth, that pegasus would be so satisfying. My head froze is place, something was wrong, I was unable to move any further towards my hard won prize! Something stung, it felt almost as though one of my scales was pulled out and I suddenly felt a sharp pain across my underside. I began to breath deep in panic, somehow I knew what would come next. I felt an agonizing pain blossom in my chest as my heart was penetrated.

“FEAST!”

I jerked my eyes open as I threw myself into a sitting position in the cold basement, my breathing heavy and my body drenched with sweat.

“Well, that was disturbing.” I rubbed some of the sleep from my eyes with a yawn. “And now I'm fucking awake.” I could tell without any form of clock or daylight that it was much too early to be greeting the day. I wanted to kick my subconscious in its ass for waking me up like that.

I got up with a stretch and made my way upstairs to the bathroom. Upon completing my morning rituals, washing up and clearing out 'the system' so to speak, I decided to check the time on Twilight's wall-clock to see just how long I would have to wait for sunrise. A couple hours at least, ugh, fortunately I knew of just the way to kill some time.

Silently I made my way back to the basement and with some effort found a lantern to light. With a small grin I went to the bookshelf in the dimly lit room and plucked a single book from it. 'Stallions and Saddles: Book Five; The Choice'. After carefully piling my not-bed into a mound to lean back against, I cracked open the book and began to read. I quickly lost myself in the story of Velvet Softskin, the pony with the most difficult of decisions to make...

“For the last time Miss Softskin. My decision is final!” The ashen stallion turned away from Velvet, his voice taking on a tone of deepest remorse as he forced himself to destroy the last of her hopes. “I am sorry, truly I am, but we simply cannot continue to chase after your lost lover when it has become obvious to even the youngest of foals that he is no longer of this world.”

Velvet bowed her head in despair as Strongback's words cut their way into her. “Do you honestly believe that there is absolutely no chance he still lives Captain Strongback?”

The captain turned to the grief stricken mare in shock. It hurt him that she had returned to addressing him with his formal title. “Velvet.. this is not a decision I make lightly.”

“Is there still a chance!?” The fuchsia mare demanded.

The stallion swallowed with an audible gulp, he knew his next words could either drive this mare to chase after her love until she herself died or throw her into the greatest depths of sorrow. “In all honesty, Miss Softskin, I believe

“STONE!”

I looked up from the book as my blood ran cold, DEATH had awakened and she was pissed at me. I shook in place as I listened to her hooves falling on the floorboards above me, moving closer and closer to the door. Said door flew open, crashing into the wall with a thunderous boom as the purple image of my executioner stomped down the stairs, the very world around me seeming to quake with each hoof fall. I carefully placed the book beside me as Twilight reached the bottom of the stairs and stomped towards me, fires of hatred burning behind her eyes.

“G-good morning, Twilight..” The unicorn silently strode up to me, maintaining her strong glare. Right, she's mad, best hope for a quick death and apologize. “T-Twilight, I'm s-sorry about accidentally knocking you out last night..”

She lifted a fore-hoof and pressed it against my chest, pushing me back into my piled up not-bed, leaning over me and forcing me to look directly into her eyes. I could only gulp.

“That was the best sleep I have ever had in my life..” Oh.. OK.. “NEVER do that again.” There was a strong amount of venom in her voice.

“Y-yes Twilight.”

She snorted, she actually fucking snorted, then got off of me and began to trot back up the stairs. “Breakfast will be ready in a little bit.”

“O-OK” Man, I think I felt the largest bullet ever whiz by me.

After getting up and putting the book back on the shelf, I did a quick check to ensure my pants were still dry. They were. Glad that I didn't actually piss myself, I went up the stairs to join Twilight for breakfast.

The rest of the day for the most part was.. well it was boring. After a very quiet breakfast, getting the most precise directions for going from the Library to The Salted Stallion as I could, and asking Spike if he would alert me when it was nearly time for me to work, I retreated back down to the basement and hid away from the rest of the world. Now I didn't hide just to finish book five or to avoid Twilight, I was hiding out of fear that if I so much as put a toe outside before it was time to go work some sort of horrible mishap would cause me to miss my very first day on the job. It was a bit paranoid of me, but the way things had been going I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if something did happen so I decided to play it safe.

“Hey Stone! It's about a half an hour till five.”

“Th-thanks Spike!”

“Stone? Are you OK?”

“Y-yea! P-perfectly fine!” The dragon walked down the stairs.

“You're crying!”

“N-no I just...”

“That's book five isn't it?”

“Yea....”

“It's OK, Twilight cried like a little foal when she finished it too.”

“Heh *sniff* so.. Do you read these?”

“No. *Blech* That stuff is way too mushy.”

“I figured you'd think that.” I wiped my face with my sleeve, I'm so classy. Standing up I moved past the dragon and began to climb the stairs. “Thanks again, Spike. See ya later.”

“See ya, Stone.”

Great fucking scott, not only had I actually found The Salted Stallion but I did so before it was time to begin working. Now I just have to make sure I don't burn the place down or awaken some kind of pony elder god who resides in its basement or something.. It could happen. I went to enter the tavern and smacked my fucking nose right on the fucking door again! You'd think I would have the brains to remember that the door opened outwards, nope.

With many profanities and complaints, both internal and external, I opened the door the proper way and entered my new workplace. The place was empty save for a few ponies, I guess it's not quite the time of the day for pony drinks yet, and Stale was behind the counter excitedly motioning for me to come to him.

“Mr. Stone! I'm glad to see you're right on time. Are you ready for your first day on the job?”

“Just Stone is fine, Boss.”

“And YOU can call me Stale, Mr. Stone.” The bartender grinned. “So, are you ready?”

“Yea, I think I am.” I stood slightly uncomfortably. “What exactly do I do when I'm not removing a pony from the building, Bo- Stale?”

The unicorn idly tapped his chin with a hoof in contemplation. “I hadn't thought about that. If you want you could just sit out of the way or bring yourself something to read or occupy your time. Just so long as you don't drive the customers away when they aren't causing a disturbance you really could do whatever you want to occupy yourself. Just make sure you do your job when you have to.”

“Well then, is it alright if I just take a stool and sit by the door?”

“That would be perfectly fine.” Picking up a stool I turned on my heel to take it to the area I would claim as my post.

“Stale! Micro says there's only half a bag.. of.. oats.. left..” That's a new female voice, and it sounds like something surprised her enough to slow down her speech.. I wonder what could do that. I set the stool down next to the door and spun back around to sit on it, grinning stupidly. “You.. need to get.. more..” The voice belonged to a pegasus pony with a tan coat and a somewhat bushy mane and tail, both reddish brown in color. Oddly enough this pony had several.. well I suppose they resembled tiger stripes except they were red and did not uniformly cover the entirety of the pony, opting to only have a few cover the neck, legs, back, and face instead. The pegasus had a single wing extended, on which balanced several platters of food and drink. I was amused.

“I'll be sure to add them to the list.” The mustache wielder chuckled as he spoke. “I see you noticed our newest employee. Mr. Stone, I'd like you to meet our waitress, Miss Khralil.” Khralil? That's.. pretty odd for a pony name. Pony names have all been descriptive or just a combination of nouns, sometimes they might have a verb thrown in for flair. Whatever, I'm a human among ponies, who am I to judge what's weird. “And Miss Khralil, this is Mr. Stone.”

“Hello, pleasure to meet you.” I gave a little wave, don't want to seem rude to my new coworker.

“Hello...” The pegasus slowly turned and began to walk towards the booths. “I have to take this.. to table four... Don't forget.. about the oats..” The poor thing seemed a little rattled.

Leaning back, sometime late into the evening just before sunset, I let out a sigh of boredom. Definitely going to get into the habit of bringing books with me. At least I could keep myself amused by listening to the sounds of ponies chatting while they drank or ate. I had actually gotten pretty good at eavesdropping on ponies, during my time on the run I had a tendency to stay hidden where I could listen in on ponies talking. It was my way of making myself feel less isolated. Not to mention ponies had interesting conversations about magic and flying, though if I ever hear another story begin 'And one time, at flight school' I swear I might lose it.

I chuckled as a unicorn told the story of how he and his buddy challenged each other to see who could lift the other one higher, but due to poor planning had ended lifting at the same time and both wound up stuck twenty feet off the ground until they realized they could lower each other as easily as they had lifted.

The door swung open and I stopped my chuckling, time to guess what would come in. It was a little game I came up with for myself, I had the time from the door opening to the pony entering to guess what kind of pony it would be. Extra points for getting the gender right and I lose if they come in before I decide on a guess. Let's go with a male earth pony. A feathered head pass the door frame.. that's not a pony.. I don't have rules for this! The creature had an eagle head with wings and talons to go with it, but the rest of it was all some kind of large animal, probably a big cat. Oh, I recognize that kind of tail, it's lion, it's an eagle and a lion. A gryphon! That's what it is. The bird-cat walked past me on all fours, not noticing my presence, to take a table and give it's order to Khralil. Time to reevaluate the rules of my game.

It was a while after sunset and everypony, including the gryphon, had either left after finishing their meals or moved to the bar. There was a total of six of them lined up at the counter. Farthest from me was an earth pony, a mare, with a curly orange mane and tail to go with her very light yellow coat. Next to the earth pony sat a sky blue unicorn, another mare, whose mane and tail made me think immediately of toothpaste with the way its upper half of white sat on a dark blue of its lower half. Next in line was the gryphon, who seemed to be sobbing over its drink about something, every so often making exaggerated motions with its claws while it spoke to the ponies. The remaining three were all male pegasi, the one next to the gryphon being chocolate brown with a dusty gray mane/tail combination, the one in the middle being the same shade as a piece of parchment with a light brown mane/tail, and the last one having a granite gray coat with a black mane/tail. As silently as I could I got up and moved my stool close enough for me to listen in on the bar patrons before sitting back down
.

“I just can't believe how big a wuss I was.” The gryphon, who sounded feminine.. I think, gulped down a glass of something I assumed to be at least close to alcohol. “I flew off like some lame-o chicken before she could even answer the door.”

“Now Miss, let's think about this for a moment.” Stale set his forelegs on the counter as he spoke, I wonder if he has a stool back there to sit on or if he's just really good at balancing on hind hooves. “Surely if this pegasus friend of yours is as loyal and true and you claim, she would forgive you once you apologized.”

“That's not the thing. I know she would forgive me, and if she had been the one to screw up I'd forgive her. But I just can't work up the nerve to actually apologize, I've never had to apologize for anything before!” I then discovered the sound of a gryphon slamming her face against a bar counter is a pretty amusing 'thunk'. “I just don't think I can talk to Dash and tell her 'I'm sorry'.”

“Dash?” The pegasus closest to the gryphon seemed interested now. “You mean as in Rainbow Dash? That loser that couldn't even finish flight school?”

“But she said Dash, she couldn't mean Rainbow Crash, the total loser that couldn't finish flight school.” The middle pegasus threw in his two cents and the other two pegasi gave a small chuckle.

There was a loud slam as claw met wood. “Don't you make fun of her!” The gryphon was glaring fiercely at the pegasi.

“Or what bird-brain, you'll cry on us?”

“No, I'll break your wings and make you walk back to Cloudsdale!”

“Do you really think you can take three of us?”

“I'd be more than happy to show you lame-wads that I can!”

Stale had started making head gesture towards me then towards the conflict, oh right, it's my job to break up these sorts of things. I stood up and cleared my throat loudly, that managed to get their attention.

“No fighting in the bar.” The pegasi each looked at me and let out a small gulp while the gryphon actually gave a little squawk of surprise. “Understand?” The pegasi each gave a nod before paying their bills and leaving. “And you?” The gryphon gave me a small smirk.

“I understand perfectly.” She paid her bill and quickly flew out.

“Well, it's a good thing that got stopped before it could start, isn't it Stale?” There was a very loud yell followed by sounds of pain. “What the hell is..” Then my mind clicked on. “Shit I didn't mean to fight right outside!” I ran out the door to break it up, still not sure why though...

I sat on the ground panting, covered in bruises, aches, and blood, but oddly enough not a cut or scrape on me. The pegasi laid across from me, random patches of fur and mane ripped off of each one, large bruises becoming visible, and numerous scratches and flecks of blood covering their forms. The gryphon had indeed proven to be able to take on three pegasi as she had almost no visible marks from the fight on her, except for the bloodied claws, the couple of missing feathers, and the wing bent grotesquely out of position.

“So.” I began with a pant. “Are we all done beating the shit out of each other, or am I gonna have to break up round two?” The pegasi each gave a groan. “Good, and how about you gryphon girl?”

“The name's Gilda, and I guess I taught those dimwits enough of a lesson.”

“Right.. So does anypony feel like they need medical attention, aside from Gilda. It's obvious need to go to the hospital.” More groans.

“What!? I don't need to go to the hospital!”

“I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure wings aren't suppose to bend that way.”

“Well.. they aren't.. but I'll be fine..” I raised one eyebrow then rose and strode to door, pulling it open before shouting inside.

“Hey Stale! The gryphon obviously has a broken wing but won't go to the hospital, what do I do!?”

“Use your judgment, she technically stopped being our problem once she left the building, but if you want to take off to make sure she's taken care of I'll let it slide! It is only fifteen till midnight anyway and I figure these mares here won't be too much trouble for fifteen minutes!”

“Alright Stale! See you tomorrow!”

“See you then, Mr. Stone!” I turned from the door and picked up a groaning pegasus under each arm.

“Gilda, you pick up and carry that one to the hospital with me.”

“Why do I have to carry one of these jerkwads?”

“Because: A. I can't carry three pegasi. B. YOU are the one that injured them. And C. You need to go there yourself.”

“I do not need to go to the hospital!” It was at this point the third pegasus decided to do more than groan.

“You know, I don't need carried. I could probably walk there myself, I don't feel too bad.”

“Yes you do. No you couldn't, don't lie. We're all going now, so come on.” I gave my opinion on each matter.

“Oh yea, and how do you plan on making sure of that?” Gilda crossed her arms defiantly.

“That's right we haven't formally met, I am the Stone-turner.” I gave a small bow, pegasus under each arm still. “Now pick up that pegasus and come with me to the hospital or I will turn you into a gryphon shaped statue.” I was bluffing, I had no clue how to actually use my ability. But she clearly did not know that.

“Alright, alright! Sheesh, you don't need to do anything drastic.” Grumbling all the while the gryphon picked up the pegasus and we began to march down the streets of Ponyville to the hospital!

After half an hour of walking and barely more than a few words spoken the two of us doing the carrying both stopped with realization.

“Gilda do you know how to get to the hospital?”

“I thought you were leading us there!”

“Ah.. well shit, might as well stay the course now.”

“So we're just going to wander around until we find it.”

“You make it sound like a stupid plan.”

“Because it is a stupid plan!”

“Then what's your plan?” Gilda just grumbled what I assumed to be obscenities and resumed walking under the light of the moon. “That's what I thought.”

I put on my grin as we resumed our journey thinking to myself of how the doctor ponies may possibly react.. If we could ever find the hospital that is. I need to just get a fucking map.