After finishing a generous amount of food, my thoughts turned to what had happened the previous day and night. 'Let's see, I woke up, got dressed, had breakfast, then stepped out back to practice. And that's when I found myself face-to-face with the strangest creature I've ever seen, now known to be Princess Twilight Sparkle... Never passed out like that before, then again, never seen a purple pony with pegasus wings or a unicorn horn before either. Woke up to find Twilight still around, have 'fallen asleep' and then 'woke up' in dreams before, but never to the same dream, and now it has happened... Three times? Also worth noting would be the level of detail far exceeding typical dreams, and the complete lack of any frame of reference for the ponies or their architect- Is someone shouting?' I was shaken from my thoughts as my senses returned to reveal that I was currently the object of some amount of worry.

"HEY HOYT, YOU IN THERE?" Spike shouted.

"Spike, I think he's listening now, enough with the shouting," Twilight said. "Are you sure you're alright Hoyt? You are acting markedly different today. Do you normally zone out like that?"

"Well," I started, raising a hand to the back of my head, and regretting it as I was suddenly felt more than a little bit of pain. "OW! What the? Oh, right, damn that smarts. To answer your question, sometimes, not always, but mostly when I am trying to rationalize something that is difficult to comprehend. Typically the workings of an automatic transmission suffice, but finding myself on a completely different world, makes mankind's most complicated mechanical device small potatoes. I keep trying to rationalize this situation as a dream, but the more I think about it, the less probable that scenario becomes, and that thought is more than a little bit scary. 'Not freaking out' is starting to take some effort, the level of which is increasing as I process more of yesterday's events." Taking slow, deep breaths I forced myself to focus on maintaining calmness.

"So this behavior is not related to that bump on the head?" Rarity asked.

"No, the eating is from apple cider on an empty stomach and a light lunch. The 'zoning out' is from somehow ending up here," I replied.

"Well, I guess that's understandable then," she said with a contemplative look.

"By the way, so I can separate what was from what was not part of a dream; What was the last thing that happened before I blacked out?" I asked. Spike shrugged, and Rarity suddenly found great interest in her own hooves and hiding behind her abundant curls. Twilight tried to do the same but her short bangs failed to hide a very bright blush. "Applejack?" I asked.

"Eheh, yeah, uh, about that," Twilight trailed off as she spoke. Picking her volume back up she explained, "Well, it turns out that Rainbow and Applejack brought a bottle of apple schnapps. Whenever they do this at one of our parties, they start making bets, typically small, but almost invariably embarrassing for themselves or somepony else... Apparently Rainbow got A.J. to be the one to embarrass herself last night." She paused a moment, then continued, "I'm not sure if that counts as embarrassing for you too."

"So, the initial, and the follow-up?" I asked. Getting a cute little squeak and a nod in reply, I had to assume yes. "I don't reckon it's embarrassing, but I'm not quite sure how to feel about it... Kinda weird really, always expected my first real kiss would be with a human girl."

"WHAT?" Three voices shouted in unison, and then stumbled over each other's questions.

"One at a time please, let's start with Spike's as it is likely the quickest to answer," I said, knocking once on the table to silence questions being spoken over each other.

"You kissed Applejack?" the dragon blurted.

"Yes, or rather she kissed me. Now I'd hazard a guess that you two have the same question?" I asked, looking to the ponies on either side of me.

"Maybe you should go first Rarity, since your question will likely encompass mine."

"Why thank you Twilight, but I guess I've got two questions if that is fine?" she asked, looking between myself and the princess. When Twilight nodded, I did the same, and Rarity continued, "Do your people kiss? Romantically?" I nodded in response, anticipating what her next question might be. "Like Applejack did last night is what I mean."

"Yeah, kissing is a popular pastime between couples. Generally though 'French' kissing, or 'tongue wrestling' as some call it, is reserved for after a couple has established intimacy past the 'peck' and often later used to initiate further intimate acts," I explained. Realizing the potential for confusion I decided to quickly add, "This does not have a strict protocol, and does not, by my culture, obligate either party to further actions of a similar nature. Any rules regarding kissing as such in your culture?"

"It's about the same here, really. Though perhaps less formal than I would think likely for your society, given what you've told me so far," Twilight answered.

"Now Rarity, would it be safe to assume that your next question regards the number and or depth of my past relationships?"

"Well, kind of. You mean to say that, as smooth a talker as you are, you don't have the girls hanging on your every word?" Rarity asked incredulously.

"Correct, however there are multiple reasons for this. Highest among them being standards, on my part and the women's part. Other reasons would include the rate at which I can assess what kind of personality a girl has, and their compatibility with my own. And finally, motivation has been a big factor, I only recently got situated in my own home, away from my family. I'm not sure again about how it is here, but back home it is very difficult to have a relationship while living with a family that is invariably prone to butting into a couple's private matters. All of these factors combine to the end result being that while I have flirted with quite a lot of women, and gotten somewhat skilled at it, I've only been to the 'first date' stage four times, and only one gave me a peck on the lips before saying 'I'm not sure we would work together,' and giving me a consolation hug." I sighed, thinking of the old memory. "Damn shame, she was cute as a button too. Now, as delightfully distracting as this conversation is, I'd like to ask one quick question before taking some time to be alone with my thoughts. I'll have to face them sooner or later, is that alright with y'all?"

"I understand," Twilight said with a warm smile. "What was your question?"

"How'd it go for ya yesterday?" I asked Spike.

The dragon shrunk back a bit, but answered quietly, "Um, good, I guess... But, if you don't have much experience, then how do you know how to uh-"

"Like I explained yesterday, my powers of perception and observation work best when I am not a directly involved party, and I have helped about a dozen friends hook up in the past by observing both parties and advising accordingly. Yes, my firsthand experience is limited, but by reading a great many books and watching a great many people, I have amassed a fair wealth of knowledge that has seldom let me down," I explained. "Now Twilight, can I have my ukulele back? It helps me to play a little when I need to think."

"Oh, your instrument? The test found no magical properties, even less than mundane objects of local nature, so, I guess you can. But what kind of music was that you were playing in the park yesterday?" the princess replied.

"Hm? Oh, you're talking about the scale progressions? Those aren't music, but good practice for playing blues, which is one of the more fun styles to play. I take it you would prefer something more classical?" I asked, as Spike dragged a suitcase over from under a bench, and opened it to reveal my beloved ukulele.

Giggling, apparently at my enthusiasm to be reunited with my uke, Twilight asked a very strange question, "So, what is this 'blues'? You mentioned it to Pinkie last night, but I don't think I've heard of that genre."

Putting the strap over my head, I had to think about the best answer for a moment. "Blues music is... Well, it's emotional, raw, a bit 'gritty' you could say. Born of a particularly difficult time in American history, and of the struggles of a great many people who tended to get the worst end of the deal at that time. It was a way to express and share their sorrows, concerns and worries, so that the burden would not rest so heavily on their hearts and minds. Otherwise it was used as a style of playing to accompany words of humor and joy to uplift the spirits and give relief to an audience of sorrowed hearts. Heh, sorry, I'm prone to ramble sometimes." I shook my head and laughed a laugh that tried to catch in my throat, then offered, "Care to hear a short piece?"

"Are you sure that music would be best? I mean, if it comes from sadness..." Twilight said, worry in her voice.

"Heh, it comes from sad times, not sadness. The music itself is generally neutral, becoming happy or sad only once words are added," I said, getting my tuner out and attaching it to the headstock. Plucking the strings and adjusting them as needed, I continued, "Besides, I don't know any lyrics, I just enjoy the music itself. How about I start with a simple eight-bar and then I'll play something else if you don't like it?"

As I hammered out a few pentatonic scales and basic chords without strumming, the answer came, "OK," and with that I began plucking away one of the first bits of structured music I learned. After only two repetitions I was interrupted. "Does it continually to repeat that pattern?" Twilight asked.

"Until the lyrics finish, yes. So, on to something you may enjoy more, Beethoven's 'Fur Elise'. This is a simplified version that also loops, but I find it better for contemplation," I said, setting into the charming sequence of the masterful piece.

Quite a while passed, as I played the old song and sank into my own thoughts...

So, this is REAL then... I would wonder how I should respond if I hadn't already, but... Maybe I should reset and consider what has happened. A life altering event? Yes. Transportation to a different world? All signs point to yes. Insanity? Some signs point to 'yes', but that question itself points away along with several others, will have to consider this option further at a later time. Fuck it, let's consider that option now, what are the known types of insanity? Well, that topic has not been a high priority for study, but circumstances would point towards 'schizophrenia' if it is indeed present, disregarding the low likelihood of onset at my age, though absence of 'real world' stimuli would indicate that the illusion is either complete, comatose dreaming, or not illusionary at all. On that thought the latter two options are most likely, though 'dreaming' has already been determined a low probability, indicating a high likelihood that I have actually found myself somehow transported to a world of talking ponies... Danger assessment of situation? low, if any, maintaining guard still advisable. Impact of change to survival potential? Unsure, possible improvement. Quality of life change unknown, technological development of this world yet to be seen, but ponies seem far friendlier than humans thus far, and companionship appears easier to acquire, so maybe up.

Companionship? Can I really consider that so quickly? This world has only Ponies, quadrapedal equines, similar to earth horses. Similarities with earth equines end at overall body shape, and mechanics of legs, otherwise facial structure is far more human, as is expression and apparent socialization. Both subjects of flirtatious experimentation have responded positively, plus another adding tangent data... Notably pleasant tangent data. Wait, 'pleasant'? The presence of cinnamon burning on my lips, the taste of apples pushed around my mouth as Applejack's tongue played with my own...

"Um, Hoyt? You stopped playing ten minutes ago. We're about to be at the Canterlot station, are you alright?" Twilight asked cautiously, snapping me from my reverie.

"Huh? Oh, sure, just some of the strangest thoughts of my life so far is all. Um, guess I should ask what to expect in Canterlot?" I posed.

The princess raised a hoof to her chin in thought before answering, "Well, a lot more ponies, stone architecture, and guard presence is not hidden the way it is in Ponyville."

"Guard presence? Huh, alright, about how long 'til we're at the station?" I asked, noticing that Spike and Rarity had gone somewhere else.

Twilight stared out the window for a moment before answering, "About fifteen minutes, which means that I need to get dressed." Seeing my confusion she continued, "As a princess, I am expected wear a royal regalia when in our capital city of Canterlot. Rarity just likes to dress up, so you know why she's getting dressed. I'll be back in a few minutes." As I watched her leave to another section of the car, I couldn't help but wonder what 'Royal Regalia' means, and also what Rarity would wear.

"You are the human known as 'Hoyt,' correct?" Twilight had not returned before the train lurched to a stop at what must have been Canterlot Station. In the meantime a stallion clad in plate armor had entered the car, and approached me with what I assumed to be a defensive posture, ears back.

"Nope, just a monkey with severe hair loss," I said, giving a smile and holding a cup from the table towards him while plucking randomly at the strings on my uke. Needless to say he was far from entertained. Putting the cup back on the table, I stood and looked down at him, "Lighten up a little, yes I am Hoyt the human. Guess we're waiting on Twilight, Rarity and Spike then?"

At just that moment a door opened behind me and the guard lowered himself, "Princess Twilight, Gleaming Shield at your service. The royal chariot awaits."

Twilight groaned in annoyance, "Gleaming, aren't you under standing orders not to bow to me outside of ceremonies?" At this the guard's eyes shot wide open and his face reddened as he quickly stood. "As per usual, we will be waiting momentarily while Rarity readies herself, please inform the rest of the guard." Once Gleaming left Twilight sighed, "Sorry about that, they tend to be a bit too intense most of the time."

"Well I was being a bit of a smartass, so I can't really blame him for being a bit on edge," I said as I turned to see the princess in a slimming gold trimmed red dress, star adorned tiara along with golden shoes bearing the same star. She blushed as a low whistle escaped my lips unchecked, then I did the same upon realizing what I had done. Scratching my head and looking away I said, "That's a uh, a very nice dress you have on there." 'What the fuck is coming over me? I saw her naked all day yesterday, but put a dress on her and suddenly we're back to bumbling idiot?

"Oh, well, thanks?" Twilight replied, voice sounding unsure of her response. Turning back to the door she had just come from, the princess knocked twice and called out, "Hey Rarity? They're already waiting with the chariot."

A rustling noise could be heard through the door, and Rarity called back, "Alright, just a few more seconds please, and I'll be ready." After a short few moments, and no small effort of magic by the sound of it, Rarity came out from the other room. A deep blue arch brim hat sat pertly atop her head, and she wore an equally blue dress with a deep v neckline, both of which had a delicate gold trim. The small shoes and silken stockings that rose half way up her forelegs trapped my gaze long enough to warrant a laugh from the white unicorn. "Darling? I'm up here," she tittered.

My cheeks burned like they hadn't done in years and I immediately forced my focus out the window. "I see you also have quite a fine dress to wear. Would it be safe to assume that both are of your own design?" I asked, intently forcing my gaze to stay averted.

"But of course darling, after seeing the pictures from Twilight's fabulous coronation, I simply had to remake, and revamp the dresses that were made for the occasion in such a hurry. Given your reaction I must say they seem to pass quality control," the fashionista tittered even more.

"So are you guys absolutely sure I have to wear this?" Spike asked walking into the room in a snappy tuxedo jacket with frilled shirt. "I mean, I've been to the castle a bunch of times before and never had to dress up except for the gala," he huffed.

"Well this visit is to welcome someone new to our world, surely that warrants a bit of fancy dress?" Twilight said, an almost motherly tone to her voice.

"Huh, I guess you're right," the dragon ceded.

"With that settled, why don't we get going?" the princess interjected. Spike was first out of the car, followed by Twilight and Rarity before myself, with some insistence towards the mares.

Once again wearing the hat that Rarity made for me, I looked up to see that the city had quite an impressive skyline, at least to my 'country' eyes. I sat low in the chariot, ignoring the fact that it was being pulled by sentient ponies, and remaining mostly unseen by those we passed. The near constant hum of magic put me off from playing anything as we rode along and the two ponies riding along waved to an occasional pony I guess they recognized. "This is nice and all, but how long does it take to reach the castle?" I finally asked. Twilight gave me a questioning look, so I explained, "It's kind of jarring, this city. I'm hoping the palace is nice and quiet."

"Hmm, maybe if you sat up and looked around a little more, you'd see that there isn't really that much to worry about. Canterlot is a pretty nice place once you adjust to the hustle and bustle," Twilight suggested. Smiling nervously I complied, sitting cross-legged in the chariot gave me a vantage point over the ponies milling about at surface level, but put me even with the shoulders of the two ponies also sitting in the chariot. Looking around, I saw a great many ponies walking about, in and out of shops, foals running about occasionally being hoisted back to a mare's side by magic, really quite an idyllic scene. As I felt myself start to smile the princess snickered. "Feeling better?" she asked.

Chuckling a little despite myself, I nodded and answered, "Yeah, I guess a little."

"Ooh, stop the chariot!" Rarity insisted suddenly, and Twilight rang a bell signalling the 'drivers' to comply. Rarity waved and called to someone obstructed from my view, "Darling, over here! It has simply been too long."

A smooth English gentleman's voice answered, "Lady Rarity, it is lovely to see you again, and Your Highness as well. What brings you to town on this fine day?"

"We're on our way to the castle, of course, but I just had to introduce you to our new friend, Hoyt," Rarity said, stepping closer to the back of the chariot to no longer be obstructing the view between myself and a large white stallion standing beside the chariot with a blue mane and mustache wearing a posh looking suit jacket.

After looking me over for a moment, he cocked an eyebrow and spoke, "I heard a rumor about an appearance in Ponyville, I would hazard a guess that that was you?"

Feeling improper to be sitting down for an introduction, I slid to the side of the carriage/chariot and stood before speaking, "I would have to assume you're right sir, and as Lady Rarity has already said, I am Hoyt, nice to meet you." As I held my hand forward I noticed he stood nearly to my shoulders.

Had it not been for the abundance of magic in the background I may have heard Rarity stifling a giggle. "Wonderful to make your acquaintance Sir Hoyt, a friend of Rarity, is a friend of Fancy Pants," he said, grasping my hand with his hoof.

"Ah, so you're Fancy Pants, well met indeed. Your name actually came up in conversation yesterday. Um, what was it we were discussing Rarity? It seems to have slipped my mind," I said, using almost all of my self control not to laugh, and a little more to ensure I looked her in the eyes as she stared at me, baffled momentarily about how best to proceed.

Shortly though, Rarity regained most of her composure and started stammering out her response, "Ah, well you see Fancy, yesterday afternoon Tw- Princess Twilight and Mister Hoyt here were visiting my boutique, and the question came up regarding how formal the attire he wore upon his arrival was. And he, not knowing about yourself of course, answered 'I'm not wearing my fancy pants,' eheh." I could see sweat running from her forehead by the time she finished.

Putting his hoof back to the ground, Fancy bellowed a healthy laugh and stomped a few times. "Good show old chap. I say we should meet again when you're not keeping anypony waiting at the castle," he said before turning to the chariot and dipping his head to bow. "Good day to you Your Majesty, Milady and Sirs."

When the stallion turned to leave, I couldn't help an observation, "You're not wearing any pants?"

Turning back, Fancy rather coolly stated, "Neither are you."

"Touche," I ceded, realizing that I currently was not wearing my normal style of clothing. "Good day to you sir," I added before climbing back into the chariot and resuming my sitting position.

As the chariot resumed carrying us towards the castle, Spike did a poor job of stifling some giggles and muttering 'Fancy Pants', while Twilight and Rarity forced straight expressions onto their faces.

"Wow," was all I could manage as we approached Canterlot Castle.

Author's Note

Shit seeming kinda fuckin' weird? Yeah, bear with me, over the next chapter or two, and maybe an interlude, all will be explained, just trust me on this.

OK, small anouncement with this one, completely written and posted from my tablet, which I'm kinda proud of, that I managed to figure this little bastard out that is. Why is this important? Because I'm going to be moving soon and thus without internet for a while, but being able to use this thing means I can just hop to town and jack mcdonalds wifi to keep you all entertained, YAY!

yet again many thanks go to Sneaky (hope the hyperlink works this time) for proofreading.