Dragon Quest

Dear Idiot

I tried to join the dragons, since ponies are lame.

It turns out that dragons (or at least the ones I met) are nothing more than crazy delinquents who are racist against ponies.

I beat them in a game of King of the Hoard, and yet they said I failed. I should've said 'I beat YOU, did I'.

Why haven't ponies been studying or talking to dragons? It's not like they're scary, they're just stupid. I mean C'MON, Fluttershy scolded one as if it was a three year old foal. Are you ponies really as wimpy as those dragons say you are?

I got me a pet phoenix YAY!

How about THAT, I tried to join a gang. Gangs are nothing more than pant-sagging racist morons who try to kill each other. They called me peewee. So I decided to name the phoenix Peewee. Ain't I evil?

Spike the silly little lizardman