“Tell him god dammit.” Mark said, grinning at Twilight. The purple mare was blinking back tears now, shaking her head in anguish. “God dammit, Twily, please?”

James looked at the exchange between the pair, sighing slightly. Then, a soft squeal was heard, as AJ pushed Twilight to look at James and Rainbow.
“AJ! Wh-what are you doing?!” Twilight said, blushing furiously, whilst Dash just looked confused.

CONNFFUUUSSSEED DAMMIT.

“F-fine...Dash, I kinda like you..” Twilight said, blushing brightly, trying hard not to stumble over her own words.

Dash looked at James. James looked at Dash. They both looked at Twilight.

“THREESOMEFUCKYES!” James shouted, before looking at Dash, giggling nervously. Dash simply blinked, before grabbing Twilight’s mane, and pulling her into a kiss.

“Buck you James, you’re an idiot. Dammit, Egghead, why didn’t you tell me sooner! You’re adorkable.”

James looked left. And then right. “THREESOMEFUCKYES.” This earnt him a falcon pawnch to the gut from Rainbow, but he didn’t care too much, seeing as his mare/girl-friend was grinning from ear to ear. Looking into her eyes, he pulled her for a kiss, chuckling lightly as he did so, before hugging Twilight around the neck, laughing as he did. Applejack just looked at Mark, then chuckled. “Deviants, t’lot of ya.”

“Least we have fun being deviants, AJ. Least we have fun. And what about you and Rarity?” Mark said, laughing as he saw who was directly behind AJ.

“What about me, Mark?” Rarity said, grinning. AJ jumped furiously, looking behind her in shock.

“Rarity, where in t’hay did ya come from, sugar?” She said, breathing heavily. Meanwhile, Mark and James lost no time at all proclaiming at the same time,

“GENTLEMEN, MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS! UNKNOWN HOSTILE AT 6 O’CLOCK”

Rainbow just giggled away at their antics, whilst behind the tree, Pinkie could be seen poking her head out, confused, with a soaked muzzle. And then, a yellow hoof shot out, grabbed her mane, and forced her head back down again, followed by a loud, excited moan.

Facehooving, Rarity simply looked at Mark, her eyebrows raised. In response, Mark stood up, spreading his arms out wide, and stating. “Well, what is it?” Before falling to the floor again, laughing, whilst Rarity muttered something about ‘Breaking her innocence’.

“Rares, Mark didn’t break her innocence, he put it through a blender, showed it pictures of dead puppies, drowned it, raped it, THEN killed it.” Twilight and Rarity looked a little shocked at this, but before they could talk... “And then masturbated on it. Furiously.”

Rainbow punched Mark in the gut, for breaking her friend, and then James, just cuz why not. Tough love and all that. “Fuck you, Skittles!” James said, laughing, before drawing both her, and the wizard of the group, into a tight gangbang hug. And it wasn’t Mark. Thankfully, seeing as his hand were low on both of their flanks.

LOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW.

“Skittles?” Applejack enquired, stifling a giggle behind one hoof, as Rainbow scowled at James, wondering what he meant. But also grinning. Damn, fingers were better than hooves, any day.

“It is a sweet, or candy for some parts of the world, where we come from, that is all different colours of the rainbow. Wonder if Dashie here tastes of Skittles?” James said, grinning.

“Not in public, James, we can do that later. Bet Egghead here tastes of tea, or something.”

Before either Twilight, or James could reply, Mark questioned proudly; “I wonder what magic tastes like....” and then, rather casually, pulled Twilight into a cradling hug and took a big long lick of her horn.
“.....hmmm tastes like ~~windchimes~~ chicken” He said, grinning. And then noticed the mess Twilight was in from what he did. Her eyes were rolled back, her tongue lolling out in a crazed grin, as her back legs shook violently, a wet trail of grass going to almost a metre away. She was staring off into space, a string of nonsense words babbling out of her mouth, as she slowly, very slowly, slipped into nothingness, going limp in Mark’s arms.

“Tha’s...impressive..” Applejack said, looking at the trail of liquid, still flowing from between the town Librarian’s legs.

“James...”

“Yes, Rainbow?”

“We NEED to do trickshots.”

Silence. Complete, fucking silence. Which was then punctuated by a scream from behind the tree.

“God dammit, Fluttershy.” James said, facepalming. “Also, how do you break EVERYPONY you touch?!”

“Talent. And a remarkable amount of luck” Mark said, proudly, grinning at his friend.

Rarity shook her head, giggling. “If you ever get a cutie mark, you would need to be censored permanently.”

Applejack laughed, and nodded. “Wonder wha’ it would like though?”

Mark and James shared a look, before grabbing a side of Twilights head, and letting it face the rest. One look at Twilight’s insane orgasm face, and everyone fell around laughing, and nodding. Mark then looked at James, and grinned. “Craters, Definitely craters.”

Mark felt, more than heard, Pinkie appear next to him, her wet muzzle resting lazily against his chest. Blinking slightly, he raised her muzzle, and licked on it slowly.

“Tastes of Brahmin milk, batteries, and happy thoughts” Mark said, happily. “I has a tasty girlfriend. Mare friend. Thing. Wonder what you taste of, Pinkie?”

“Probably cupcakes, hot sauce, cookie dough, and popcorn?” Dash said, grinning at Mark.

Mark just blinked at Rainbow, before nonchalantly poking inside Pinkie with one finger, before licking it. “No popcorn, rest was spot on, and a few gummy sweets. Seven out of Ten for taste, Nine out of Ten for thickness and texture.”

Pinkie had a dark red blush on her face, which was growing the more he talked, and she gasped, finally, when he drew her into a tight hug, sat on his lap. Twisting round, not caring for her friends being there, she pushed her lips to his, greedily, before saying. “You, me, rutting when we get back. Oki -doki-loki?”

Author's Note