The Celestial Grand Vizier

Chapter 1 - The Loophole Explained

Joseph Harper prided himself on being observant. It was also being observant that led him to accidentally fall into what happened next.

Joseph rode along a dirt trail, meandering through a series of dark woods and streams behind his neighborhood. It was one of those trails, so often journeyed, that every turn and detail is memorized. He made the second right, leading him to a part where the trees overhead parted for a little while, and looked up to the beautiful canvas that the universe painted for him that night.

He eyed every nebula, every cluster of stars that the blackout allowed him to see. He took in the void between every star.

He didn't take in the left he should have made.

Joseph let out a grunt of curiosity as the trees closed together, leaving him in darkness. There wasn't even enough light for him to see the figure spread across the trail.

Harper let out a cry of surprise as his bicycle flipped forward, leaving him to fall face down in the dirt. Though his eyes were obstructed, he could still hear the hiss that came near him.

“WHAT THE FUCK NO!” Joseph bolted upright, but it was too late.

Surrounding him must have been the largest snake in the world; a great cobra, with alternating red and black stripes, approximately 30 feet long and having a girth of 3 feet coiled itself in a circle around him. The cobra’s head rose above Joseph’s head and looked down into his eyes. It found only surprise in his eyes however, and after analyzing him, nodded in approval.

“Child...” Joseph’s eyes widened when he heard the snake speak, “Thisss may hurt a little...” The serpent grinned and flashed two huge fangs. It then struck down at his neck at lightning speeds, and when its fangs entered Joseph’s field of vision, were dripping venom.

“NO! No. No... nonono...” Joseph protested as a numbness zipped throughout his body, and the world became fuzzy around him. The snake constricted around him, and Joseph felt himself sliding down... Past the ground... Into a void.

After several minutes, he realized he was aware he was in a void, and snapped his eyes open, frantically searching around him. He found only the void though, and felt what appeared to be a brass coil around his waist and arms; dragging him ever further down.

It was much longer before color burst into his world.

He looked around him, and immediately wished he hadn't

Everywhere around him, monstrous creatures  were undergoing horrible tortures, whilst human silhouettes of light restrained them. For a moment, a creature with a striking resemblance to Cthulhu looked at him, and roared. There were key differences however, such as how it had reptilian legs bent backwards, and four sets of long arms ending at blades sprouted from its back. Immediately, it was restrained by the silhouettes and dragged back into a churning black pit.

The worst part was the way reality itself seemed to fold in on itself, leaving more places and tunnels for impossible demons to be tortured in. Most of the time, light was bent around and inside nothing, suggesting walls while other times rust covered surfaces acted as a “structure.” For example, there was a brick wall, on one side held a gateway into a furnace with screeching bats, and the other side held a portal to a torture room, with a glowing green humanoid corpse was stretched on a rack. Below that had a single window, where a pitch black eye with a dead, yellow iris stared at him.

Joseph felt an impossible terror come over him, and blood poured from his nose while a splitting migraine filled his head. At once, a coil came up and covered his eyes, and a white noise drowned out the painful thoughts and attempts at comprehension.

All of this happened in the course of three seconds.

For the time in which he was dragged down, he felt a numbness go over his mind. He almost couldn't hear the roars and cries of an army of beasts of legend were punished for all eternity. And at last, the coils lifted from him, dropping him on a cold, stone floor.

Shaking, Joseph got the courage to look up, and try and figure out where he was. The sight was strange to say the least.

In front of him appeared a brass snake, a smaller replica of the cobra that pulled him into this abyss, engraved stripes and all. Looking around, he was in a circular room, seemingly made of a bluish-gray stone with pillars evenly spaced around the edge. The diameter appeared to be around 4 meters, on the floor sat stone tiles of a complex shape, and above the pillars vaulted into the center, making a dome.

In the center sat a red creature roughly 2 1/2 meters tall, humanoid with no legs, loosely chained to a small pedestal, and having a black ponytail and a scraggly black beard.

“Hello there child.”

Joseph of course reacted calmly and professionally to the creature speaking to him.

“What the actual fuck, are you Satan? OH DEAR GOD NO, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO BE HERE?!? NO!”

The creature merely raised a hand, and Joseph’s mouth slammed shut.

The devil then began to glow as a mysterious light surrounded him, shrinking his stature.

Until there sat Jafar, in ratted robes, looking worse than any depiction of him ever had been.

“J-Jafar? What?” Jafar raised his hand once more.

“I have been down here for thousands of years, and I shall not be denied the right to monologue.” Jafar raised an eyebrow at the man sitting before him in questioning, and the subject sat down and shrugged accordingly.

“I know you recognize me, so I suppose I should be grateful that I chose a world where that... Walt Disney is credited for his tales.” Joseph raised an eyebrow at this, but remained quiet. After all, everyone deserves a good monologue every now and then.

“You see, after the events of my momentary truce between Hades and I- you do know of this correct?”

“Of course, you tried to get Hades, and then Hercules to kill Aladdin.”

“Good boy, I see you aren't as easily illusioned as that fool of a god, so I suppose you shall do just fine.” Jafar then rose from his pedestal, and his chains extended to coil on the ground.

“Now then, due to me being a mortal, turned immortal, it is needless to say that I died unusually. I was destroyed in only the way that a genie can. Thus I am here.”

“And where is here?”

“Inquisitive. I shall explain, best get comfortable..."

"The Djiin... Were a race of gods once allowed to live on earth as man’s companions. From them flowed magic, and they were extremely proficent at it.” As he spoke, illusions were spun from the cracks in the floor; showing scenes of flying humans with smoke forming their lower halves. In one, a Djiin poured life from his hands to create a garden. Others formed mountains, gave life to children, spun artworks in the sky as clouds formed pictures.

“To humanity was given creativity, and the sciences.” Pictures of humans creating machines, medicines in laboratories, and an old man writing in a large book over his desk showed next. “But the Djiin were jealous sort.”

The Djiin looked at humanity’s creation and turned black. “They hated that humans could design great things without magical power, they felt cheated and concluded that, because the humans had not magical power, they were not fit to rule.”

Horrible images of Djiin towering over crying families showed next; sending off men to work in mines and mothers to pleasure the “gods.” Jafar continued, “A few of them fought against the corruption of their race, protecting them from these darker creatures, who slowly turned into great monsters.” A legion of Djiin stood their ground against a horde of demons, using magics that decimated the mindless monsters.The war was tearing apart cities, destroyed the last of man’s technology that regressed so during the rule of the darker Djiin.

“And then one day, the creators returned.”

All images froze while a group of eight towering figures looked upon Earth.

“They were disgusted that the Djiin would abuse their power so, and banished the evil ones to a dark plain.” The dark monsters were sucked into a hole, growling and roaring at the sky, until the ground covered them and their screams were silenced.

“A few renounced their evil ways, and traded their freedom for a life on the mortal Earth.” A bright blue Djiin had golden cuffs clasped around his arms and flowed into a golden lamp, which was sent into a far away desert. “They were forced into an eternity of servitude, had to obey heavy rules, but they were alive. And I suppose that was all that mattered to them.”

The scene changed to a group of sparkling Djiin. “The ones that defended humanity were honored, and in some worlds were declared gods.” A picture of a bright and caring Djiin was shown creating a lush garden, which housed a nude man and woman.

“Of course, not all stayed pure, but others who were defeated them.” A picture of three brothers, a tall muscular one holding a lightning bolt, a dark one with flaming hair, and one holding a trident stood above a group of elemental titans, banishing them to a prison underneath the ocean.

“The magical power that the banished Djiin once held was freed, and allowed to flow across the land.” A wormhole opened next, flowing a bright, clear energy out throughout the world; and flowing into humans. “The magical energy gave new life into the world, and was accessible to humanity at last.”

Pictures of men and women in magician’s clothing, holding staves and wands, crafted potions, blessed crops, and wandered across the world.

“Unfortunately, with this hardly understood power, humanity began to regress, and stayed ignorant to their true place in the universe” A picture of the eight creators presided over the world. A few shaking their heads, shakily raising their hands toward the planet.

“And as such, they took away this power, leaving them back at the beginning. Gods were taken to another world to live in peace for all eternity, and humanity was left with nothing but silence.” The world seemed to die, and stagnant for the longest time, with death flowing west across the world.

Suddenly a spark was shown in the Middle East, a slight glow traveling up to Europe, which began to glow like the sun.

“A rebirth began, and flowed across the world. Europe pushed past everything humanity knew, creating new nations, and sometimes enslaving others.” A picture of an eagle flew from a settlement of white men, flying over camps of Native Americans.

“Onwards they discovered more about the universe, and have progressed to the stage that you know at your own." The room filled with images of inventors and scientists. Cities were built, power grids became online as the world illuminated in the darkness.

"That is the status quo of your world.”

Joseph took a minute to digest the information. It went against everything he knew, and there was the slightest possibility that he was just hallucinating. But that pain from before was too real, so perhaps... Perhaps...

“That doesn’t answer my question, though...” As the scenes from Earth died out, he remained to stare at where they were. “...Those creatures from outside, how when they noticed me, they seemed to instantly hate me... The realm of the fallen Djiin, that's where we are.”

Jafar seemed to nod approvingly. “Yes, although the more accurate term is the Djiini Abyss.”

Joseph looked up at him. “And when you were decimating Agrabah, breaking the natural order... When you died, you were sent here.” Jafar raised his eyebrows, he wasn’t expecting the boy to be this astute.

Joseph studied him further. “Theory. Due to the fact you are a mortal turned Djiini, half of you was sent to Hades, while another half was sent to this Abyss. This would explain why you seem so weak.”

Jafar scowled at the last statement, but resigned to clapping slowly. “It appears I have made an excellent choice.”

“What choice?”

Jafar dropped his arms and said, “Perhaps I have glossed over a certain detail.” He walked back to the stone pedestal and sat. “This realm was never meant for mortals like me, this realm was designed to torture and subdue gods.”

Jafar clicked his fingernails together. “For the thousands of years I was here, I endured tortures beyond all mortal comprehension. I lost my sanity three times, and at every opportunity, I studied the rules of Djiini imprisonment. The opportunities were rare and far between of course.”

He looked back down at Joseph and sighed. “I have found one exit, the transfer of my essence to a willing recipient.”

Joseph’s eyes widened so far he thought they might fall out of his skull.

“I know what you are thinking. No, this is not a transfer of my soul, when I give you my essence you will gain a fraction of my powers and abilities; which will, in time, grow with your knowledge of them, but I will cease to exist.” Jafar dropped his shoulders and the haughty attitude for one of sincerity. “You must understand, the horrors I have seen and experienced... I do not want freedom... I just want my torture to end.”

Joseph never thought of Jafar this way, always a usurper, always a snake; but never as a tortured soul to be pitied. Was he always this way? Did something cause him to become evil? But before he could continue this train of thought, Jafar recovered.

“Of course, you are currently trapped within a hell designed for creatures far beyond your comprehension, so I am assuming your total cooperation.”

He looked up to Jafar and merely said, “Yes.”

“Good. Now come here, both of you. There is not much time left.

Joseph got to his feet and looked around before he realized who Jafar was referring to. The brass cobra was watching this entire time, and now slithered forward into Jafar’s left hand. He walked over to Jafar, who then placed his right hand upon Joseph’s forehead.

The cobra’s eyes began to glow a deep red, and shrank down into the tall walking staff that was iconic to the man performing the unknown ritual. Suddenly Joseph’s mind burned, but then also filled with numbness, causing a strange sensation to flow throughout his veins. After a few seconds Jafar stopped, visibly tired, and incredibly aged from his forty-year-old self or so that had been there prior. The centenarian Jafar shakily handed Joseph the staff.

“Once you leave this realm, I will know peace, and you will know power.” A portal of some sort opened behind Joseph. “There is a slight problem however. In that you may not be sent back to your world.”

Joseph grimaced, dark memories of his life flashed before his eyes. “Good.” As he neared the portal, a few questions he had been meaning to ask came to his mind. “Wait! How come you aren't being tortured right now?”

Jafar smiled, “Because I am part mortal, and wished to perform this ritual. They were eager to get rid of me, as you can see they have their hands full right now.”

“But who were they, the silhouettes I mean!”

“All in due time.”

“What powers will I possess, will I be able to return to my world should I want to?”

Jafar cackled as they stood in front of the portal. Bright light could be seen passing through the ripples in space-time. “I trust that a clever boy such as yourself can figure it out in time. Keep hold of the staff, it holds your true potential.  Now go!”

And with that, the old man, chuckling, shoved the snake staff in his hand, and pushed him through the portal, to destinations unknown.

Jafar felt something snip in his heart, and felt as wisps of himself dissolved into the surrounding air. He walked over to the pedestal and sat down. His mind began to get fuzzy, and he couldn’t think straight as he faded from existence.

“So this... is what being... an idiot... is like... Fascinating...”