The Celestial Grand Vizier

From the Viewpoint of Clair Voyance

“OOOHOOO! What is this?”

I sighed. “Elemental Magic is the state of mana when it is ‘at rest’ in the natural world. It is divided into six super-categories, which are as follows: Fire, Earth, Water, Air, Aether, and Void. Void is infinitely more powerful than the other five, and is all but banished from this realm. The only times Void is present-”

“Cool! Hey! Listen! What is this?”

I merely dropped my face onto my hoof. And to think this night started so innocently...

************************

After they introduced one another on the couch, Joseph asked a question. Just one question... Seemed so harmless...

“So... What is this place exactly?”

Clair looked up from the book on scrying she was opening. “This, um, this place is Equestria.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Kay then.”

Clair went back into her book and found the page she was looking for. Page 132, on how to connect your crystal bal-

“So, you mentioned this place is ruled by a Princess?”

Well, to be honest, he was new here, so Clair figured she owed it to him to answer any questions he might have.

“Well, actually Equestria is ruled by two-”

“A diarchy?”

“Yes. That. They are both sisters, Celestia and Luna. Celestia raises the sun, and rules at daytime...” At this, his face contorted in confusion. “And Luna raises the moon. Luna also visits ponies’ dreams and paints the sky.”

Joseph’s face was devoid of any emotion.

“...That is the biggest load of communistic bullshit I have ever heard.”

**********************

So after that slight misunderstanding... Mr. Harper got around to apologizing, and I got around to tending his black eye.

Perhaps I overreacted, but Princess Celestia is practically my idol. She saved my family from poverty, and hand-picked me to-

“SO! So. If I kill a unicorn, cut off their horn, and use it to create a heart of an amulet... I can gain untold magical prowess and skill in mind-manipulation?” Mr. Harper looked at me excitedly. “Hypothetically speaking of course...”

If my eyes could see my face, they would see themselves practically falling out of their sockets... Wait, that didn’t make any sense...

“OOOKAY THEN. WELL, it was really nice spending the last six and a half hours going over magical theory with you and all... But I think it is about time we got some sleep, and go about tomorrow, calmly and rationally...”

“Silly you, I can’t go to bed now!”

“And why, praytell, can you not?”

“Because I don’t have a home anymore, much less a...” For the first time that night, that stupid grin flew right off his face, leaving behind a face of realization.

“I... Holy shit titties... This actually happened didn’t it?” Mr. Harper looked right at me.

“Well...” I looked right at him, and his focus dropped from me to his hands. “From what I can tell Mr. Harper... Are you okay?”

He didn’t seem to respond for several seconds before he decided that opening and closing his hands wasn’t so interesting anymore. “Yeah... Yeah I’m fine. It’s just that...”

He then shook his head and looked back at me with some of the confidence shown prior. “Um. Hey, look; can I maybe... Possibly, bunk with you tonight? I mean, looking back now, I lost control and was a complete pain in the, flank...” He didn’t see the blush come on my face from the vulgar comment, and continued. “And, I know that keeping you up until...” He looked at a grandfather clock nearby, “3:20 in the morning is inexcusable. I apologize, and...”

The first thought that came to my mind was horrible looking back upon it.

‘No. There is no way I am going to let a half-crazed alien with a mood disorder anywhere near my-’

To my slight credit, I stopped that line of thought and actually looked at the situation reasonably.

‘No. Stop that right now. Look at him. You KNEW that look in his eyes when he realized he didn’t have a home. Shame on you Clair Voyance! He was probably just in shock, with what he has probably been through...’

“I can carry my own weight, clean up, help out-”

“It’s alright.”

“I’m a fast-what?”

“You can stay with me. Just don’t, you know, make a big deal of it or anything. Just clean up after yourself, and you can stay.”

“... Thank you.”

“Oh, and... Don’t ever keep me up this late again. Alright?” I gave him my best stern look in the eyes.

Smiling awkwardly, “Of course... God this is awkward. Sorry for losing control back there...”

Returning a BETTER smile, “It’s alright. Not every night a pony gets to meet an alien anyway.” I turn back to pick up my saddlebags, long forgotten. I then turn and look at Mr. Harper to see him staring at his own sizable stack of books. How could anypony want to read so much?

“It’s okay.” He turns and looks at me, I continue. “I’ll just leave a note on the front counter. I was let in here for studying anyway, so I’ll just say I wanted to cram for my job next week. The Sparkles trust me at any rate.”

Smiling, Mr. Harper lifts up the sizeable stack of books, placing his staff between his arms and the books, and walks along with me to the entrance. After doing a strange crab-walk down the stairs and entering into the main foyer, he turns to me while I scribble down a note on a spare piece of paper.

“A job next week? Really?”

An alien is interested in my job? Walking out the door, the squee was audible. “Well, there are a group of advisers that work for the Princesses, each of their talents different. For example, the Captain of the Guard also works as a military adviser; the Grand Magus or Vizier or what have you, monitors magical flow throughout the nation, and deals with casting major spells that help the population. The Seer, which is the position I am going to fulfill, helps the Princesses see into the future, and monitor major events unfolding throughout the world!"

"I swear my voice just went up a few octaves by the end."

He looks at me with respect and reverence. “That actually sounds very important. No wonder you were studying so late.”

Rolling my eyes, “Well I wouldn’t have been up quite this late without somepony’s help...” I finished with a smile.

Mr. Harper made a sheepish grin and we kept on walking. We moved through the hedge garden towards the castle walls. There we went up on a walkway traveling over the walls, and down onto the elite district of Canterlot. The streets were silent, thank Luna, and we would be at my house in a minute or so.

“So, you live up here?” Looking around, he had good reason to be in awe. The immaculate white structures towering over our heads, the corners and walls rounded and curved to make one feel welcome. Flowers and plants bloomed on the sides of the roads and lawns, and everything was a peaceful tranquility only brought about by the night.

“Yeah, its temporary until next week though, then I get to move into my own personal chamber INSIDE the castle! I guess I will miss it out here, it is beautiful in its own right, isn’t it?”

“No, I meant why in the hell anybody would live smack dab on the face of a mountain.”

Oh. Right. “Well, beauty? It’s glorious? We need to show Canterlot is the capital city after all.”

“I suppose...”

“AHA! We’re here!” Grinning, I levitated my key out of my saddle bags while Mr. Harper looked on in interest.

‘Yeah, I know, magic IS pretty awesome.’

With a grand gesture, I ushered him inside. It was rather awkward, having to manuver a huge pile of books and a staff under a door entirely too small; but he managed.

Following him inside, after closing the door I walk in through the opening on my left, leading him into the living room.

“Just set your stuff down here,” Motioning to an open area in front of a table. He does so.

“Nice place you have here...” With pure white walls, a grand fireplace with golden-framed pictures on top, blue and carved wood couches, and a snazzy rug... Yes. Yes it is.

I lead him through another opening on the right, into the kitchen. “I assume you want something to eat?”

He practically jumps inside. “OH, THANK THE LORD! Yes! I’m so famished I could eat a ho... whole large amount of food with copious amounts of nutrition...”

'What? How is that even a good aphorism?'

“Well lucky for you, my fridge has copious amounts of nutrition... Um...” What does he eat... What is he like? How did we gloss over that?

“Apple?” I grin and hold one up for him to see. He smiles and accepts it, sitting down at a large wooden table I have in the left corner, opposite the fridge. I prepare a quick salad, and join him.

************************

...Believe it or not, we continued to talk. About what he was, where he was from. Though, the more I prodded at his history, the more agitated he became. I decided it was best to leave sleeping Diamond Dogs lie. We both later decided it would be best to sleep in tomorrow. Turns out he agrees on the best feeling ever. When you wake up before a long day, worried that you are late, then turn and find out you can keep sleeping for an hour. *aaah. yes.***

But I digress.

Even while writing this in my diary, listening now, I can hear him mumbling in his sleep across the hall...

Who in the hay is Chrissy?...