Banned From Equestria: The Fanfic

I woke up in the middle of the night to blasting dubstep music. I found the source: A cottage with a white unicorn at a turntable inside it. I eventually made it in, after finding the key. The pony didn't even speak, she just floated a pill into my mouth and I couldn't help myself. The pill must have done something. Because right now, she and I were banging to dubstep. It was even more heavenly than Applejack. She was in charge, giving me all she had. And I didn't even hesitate. After a while, it became painful, and I hopped out an open window. When day came,I asked Trixie to become a Pegasus, and she let me.

I flew into the clouds and saw a pony i seemed to know. I remembered her name: Rainbow Dash. It was weird. But I walked up to her and she recognized me. "Red! You got wings! Wanna race?"  I agreed, because she seemed like she really wanted it. But she had more to add. "Loser becomes the winner's slave! I've got some work for you when I win..." I was in now. This whole sex stuff was amazing. And the ponies were becoming more and more attractive. Best of all, I actually won the race! I don't even need to tell you the conversation. You know what I made her do.

"OH HELL YEAH!" she screamed.

needless to say, she loved it.

It wasn't even night, so I went to a bakery called Sugarcube Corner. The owner saw me with the blue ball I had picked up and said Pinkie Pie, a girl who lived with her, would love it. She wrapped it and took it to Pinkie's room. "Pinkie would like to see you!" yelled the owner.