I tear open the next door, hoping that this is the bathroom, and not that freakish bondage room again...

I sigh in relief as I find the bathroom, and immediately turn on the sink. After splashing some water on my face, I lean against the basin, and listen to a heated shouting match going on between Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.

After a few moments, I hear Twilight walking towards where I am, and I take a deep breath as a few more tears roll forth. I just...can't think about her. I can't. She's gone now, and there was nothing I could do: I made my peace with this a month and a half ago.

But if I made my peace...why am I crying?

I cringe as I hear the front door of the spa blast open, and eventually pull itself shut. I run a hand through my hair, and look back up at the mirror, frowning as I see how red-rimmed my eyes are.

"Are...are you okay?"

I turn to see that Twilight has arrived at the bathroom, and is looking a little green. "Uh...Yeah...I'm...I'm fine." I respond. "Uh...You're looking kind of sick..."

"I found the bondage room," she responds in a slightly queasy voice. I nod, and we leave it at that as I gingerly exit the bathroom.

"I, uh...sorry for falling apart like that. I thought I was over all of that, but...apparently not..."

Twilight shakes her head dismissively. "Oh, don't blame yourself. Rainbow Dash shouldn't have pressed the matter."

I nod, and awkwardly gesture towards the spa's lobby. "Should we...wait inside? For...Celestia?"

She nods, and we do just that. When we arrive, two ponies walk in, and stare at me.

"You...you are zis carnivorous beast?" One of them asks.

"Uh," I respond, staring at the both of them. I feel my energy leave me: after all I've been through today, I'm just too tired to deal with this crap... "I eat veggies, too..."

"Ah, what a relief!" One of them cries. "Twilight, just make sure he doesn't do any naughty things."

I take note of the distinct French accent they seem to share, and Twilight nods before waving her hoof for me to follow her. "Come on, Peter. We should get you some clothes." With that, she picks up the weird iguana looking thing, and starts for the door.

"You have clothes for humans here?" I ask, my brain working at 8% capacity as I follow her out the door, and into the summer-

HOLY FUCK THAT'S FUCKING FREEZING I WISH I HAD MY SHIRT ON. IT WAS SUMMER BACK ON EARTH. WHY IS IT FUCKING WINTER HERE. TO WHOM AM I ADDRESSING THESE STATEMENTS/QUESTIONS.

"Oh, we'd better hurry," Twilight mutters as she notices that my teeth are instantly chattering. "You don't have any fur, so you get cold fast...Come on, if we run, we'll make it to Rarity's faster."

I nod, and keep behind the pony as I run after her. A few ponies in the small town give me strange looks, but I ignore them and keep running: if I can get clothing, them I'm getting fucking clothing.

We eventually arrive at a strange-ass looking building, and Twilight calls it Rarity's "Boutique". I simply nod as I rush in, stomping my bare feet in an attempt to get the blood flowing.

"Oh, you're okay!" I hear a pony shout. "Thank goodness, I thought Rainbow Dash had seriously hurt you..."

I look to my left, and see that there's a small yellow Pegasus smiling up at me. "Hi," I manage to say through my frozen lips.

"Oh, darling, you're freezing! Twilight, I take it you brought it here to have me tailor some clothes for its...odd body?"

"Don't call him it," Twilight immediately announces. "His name is Peter. And he's a human."

I smile to Twilight in thanks, but can't manage to form the words of gratitude as I struggle to keep my body temperature above zero degrees Kelvin.

"Ah. Yes. Well, Peter, if you'll just come this way..." I follow the white unicorn, and she immediately begins to size me with yellow measuring tape, mumbling to herself all the while.

"What material do you want me to make this out of?" She asks. I can tell that this is her profession: every single thing she does is practiced and smooth.

"Uh...a cotton undershirt...and...and a woolen...sweatshirt?" I ask through my thawing mouth in hopefulness.

"Undershirt?"

"A short-sleeved shirt that humans wear to keep their attire from chafing," I respond, my words no longer chunks of ice.

"Ah! Okay...Now, for your pants..."

"I'll need boxers," I announce. "Uh...underwear. Uh...short pants, I guess. Shorter than this bathing suit. And...could I have...denim jeans?" I smile at the unicorn in hope, and she nods.

"Oh, very simple," she mutters to herself. "Footwear?"

"Socks and sneakers," I respond, hoping I don't have to explain those, too...

Once she's done measuring everything, she makes a few quick sketches, and then sets to-

"Oh, my, I never formally introduced myself!"

Sets to introducing herself. Great... Not like I'm freezing my balls off or anything...

"My name is Rarity," she announces, extending a hoof in a genial manner. I accept it, and she gives my hand a surprisingly vigorous shake. "My friend here is Fluttershy, and I believe you and Twilight Sparkle have already met?"

"Yeah," I respond. "Nice to meet both of you," I announce, holding out my hand towards Fluttershy. She takes my hand and gives it a small shake: a picometer up, a picometer down. All while giving me the most adorable little smile.

"Now, then," Rarity announces, "I will craft your garments post-haste! And do not fret for your payment: I will cover the expenses, as you are new here."

I nod, slightly caught off guard by how hospitable she's being. After my less-than-pleasant experience with that Rainbitch, I was sort of expecting everyone here to try to break my nose...

"Oh, Peter, your nose!" Twilight shouts. "I almost forgot all about it!" I frown. Was she reading my mind, or did she just so happen to think about it? "Come here, I'll fix it."

I'm about to thank her when that iguana thing falls off of her back, and into a heap on the floor. "Uh...is your pet...okay?" I ask, pointing towards the fucked up lizard.

"He's not my pet," she responds with a small smile. "He's my baby dragon. And yes, he's-"

I block her out as I descend upon him, holding him up with wide eyes. "Oh my God, you're a fuckin' dragon!?" I demand.

"Watch your language," Twilight barks. "Remember, he's still a baby."

I nod and give a quick apology as I set down the baby dragon. He looks up at me, and frowns.

"Yeah, I'm a dragon," he responds in a cautious tone of voice. "I'm Spike. And you are..."

"Peter," I respond, holding out my hand for him. He crushes my hand with his claws, and I do my best not to cry. "I'm a human..."

"Oh, did I squeeze your hand too hard?" He asks as he sees how red the skin is. "Sorry, I'm sorta going through a growth spurt...and, well, everything's getting bigger..."

I hear a small snort from across the room, and I look to see that Rarity is blushing as she goes about her work. I grin at how perverted she is. Maybe I'll get along here just fine...

"Uh...Where's Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy asks as I decide to relax on a nice sofa.

"Oh...We...We had a fight," Twilight responds. "I...I said a few...mean things, and she...she flew off."

Fluttershy gasps, and I shrug. In all honesty, the bitch deserved it.

"Oh, my, that's terrible! Rainbow rarely ever gets upset like that!"

Twilight sighs as she stares at the floor. "I know...It's just...I didn't mean what I said, y'know? I wish I could take it back..."

"Rainbow Dash will probably come down to apologize soon," Fluttershy responds. "You know how she is - give her enough time to herself and a tub of ice cream, and she starts thinking that she's got to apologize for everything. When she does, you can talk to her."

Twilight, Spike, Fluttershy, and Rarity all giggle a bit at the reference to Rainbow's apparent womanly activities. I frown to myself: everything I saw about her yesterday contradicts those ideas. Then again, I don't know anything about her...

"Is she going to be okay?" I find myself asking.

"Really? You're asking that after she gave you a bloody - oh, crap! Come here, let me fix that..."

I nod, and squeeze my eyes shut as I hear magic coming into play. Yeah. Fucking magic. I live in a world of magical ponies now.

Oh, joy. Maybe next -

I scream in pain as my nose cricks back into its correct position. "Damn, that hurt," I mutter once it's all done.

"Oh, sorry," Twilight mutters with a sheepish grin. "I'm not too good at healing spells yet...You know, never having the opportunity to actually practice them and whatnot...It's not like I can just go and injure somepony..."

I nod, and rub my nose a bit. "Anyway, thanks," I say, politely. "My nose doesn't hurt half as much now. By the way, how does your magic-"

"Done!" Rarity announces. "Peter, go into the fitting room and pull them on!"

I stare at Rarity in slack-jawed amazement. "You...You serious?" I ask. "You were working on those for a grand total of five minutes. How are you done?"

"They were very simple," she responds. "The shoes took the longest amount of time, admittedly. It was a nice refreshing break from the more difficult tasks I've had...such as that one, there."

She points her hoof, and that's when I notice the dresses hanging from racks on the wall, all of which are on display: beautiful, elaborate, crazy dresses that would take a human seamstress years to complete.

"How long did it take you to make these?" I ask, reaching out to trace my hand along the embroidery of one.

"Oh, a few hours for each," she responds with a wave of her hoof.

"Seriously!? Holy crap, that's amazing!" I cry, grinning as she blushes and tries to shrug off the compliment.

"Really, darling, it's nothing. It's what my special skill is."

"I'll say," I respond, smirking at the dress. "These are beautiful!"

"Oh, stop it," she giggles. I want to take her seriously, but I know she's loving every second of my praise. "Now, go on! Shoo! Get your clothes on, you delightful young boy, you!"

I feel a shiver of repulsion, and the whole room goes silent. "Did...Did that sound...creepy to you, too?" Rarity asks me in a rather uncomfortable voice.

"You have no idea," I respond as I slowly retreat into the fitting room. I pull the curtain closed behind me, and tear off my now-dried bathing suit before pulling on each article of clothing. I put on the sneakers last, and smile at how well-made the clothes are: not a single stitch out of place! Man, she's awesome.

I come out of the dressing room feeling nice and refreshed. "Thanks," I announce.

"Oh, my, it's getting late," Fluttershy states. I look outside to see a few stars twinkling. "I'd best be getting home..."

"Yeah...Peter, do you have anywhere to stay?" Twilight asks me. I stare at her for a minute, an abundance of sarcastic responses on the tip of my tongue. But I decide that the most sarcastic thing to do is just stare at her in silence until she finally gets it.

"Oh...right..." Twilight mutters, blushing intensely. We all chuckle a bit, and Twilight offers that I stay at her library.

"That way, Celestia will have an easier way finding us, and I can introduce you to all of my friends in the morning by just calling them to the library! Well, except for Rainbow Dash, that is..."

I cringe at the mention of the name, and feel an unexpected pang of empathy. I hope she's not too depressed by what

Twilight said to her...I mean, some of it was brutal, even by my standards.

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding. That wasn't brutal at all. By my standards, brutal is when you stare at someone, say "fuck you cunt," and walk away, leaving the person to wonder what the hell they did wrong until their dying day.

Truly tragic.

Anyway, I bide farewell to Fluttershy and Rarity, and follow Twilight and Spike to their home, significantly warmer.

And fluffier.

Once again, we arrive at a weird-ass looking building: a fucking tree. A fucking house. A fucking tree house.

"Welcome to the library!" Twilight Sparkle announces as she opens the door.

Great. A fucking tree house library thing.

Fuck.

I step in, and decide never to light a match in this building. Twilight ushers me up the stairs, and to a bedroom. I watch in amazement as she grows a bed straight from the wood of the building. She grew the interior of the tree, and made a bed.

Fucking.

Magic.

Then, she proceeds to magically retrieve a mattress, sheets, and pillow, magically places them on the bed, and magically prepares said bed for an inhabitant.

Magic.

Fucking.

Uh...

Shit.

Yeah...

Okay, my mind is, like, dead right now. I can barely entertain a sane thought.

"So, if you need anything, I'll be sleeping right across from you!" Twilight announces with a grin. "Goodnight! See you in the morning."

We both climb into our beds, and I note how large the moon is: it's probably very close to this planet. Which means that high tide is fucking crazy as shit. Note to self: avoid the beach.

I roll onto my chest, and I realize something.

I haven't felt this excited for over five years.

I'm starting something new.

I'm starting something...better.

That pleasant and comforting thought stays with me in my dreams as I fall asleep, and just before my conscious state fades, I realize that there's something else I'm feeling, something that I haven't felt in a very, very long time.

Hope.

I grin to myself as an elevated sense of peace carries me away to the world of dreams.

"Peter, wake up."

I grumble as I struggle to shrug off my attacker. "Five more minutes..."

"Peter, the Princess is here to see you."

I roll onto my side in an attempt to see the Princess, and accidentally fall right out of bed with an exclamation of surprise, and a rather painful thud. "Ow," I mutter as I rub my head.

"Oh...you okay?" I hear Twilight Sparkle ask with a small giggle. I grumble as I sit up, and nod a bit in response.

"Uh, yeah...I'm fine." I shake my head in an attempt to wake myself up. However, all it does is give me a headache. "Just a bit...tired."

"That's understandable," Twilight mutters in return. "Well, come on. I've got pbreakfast ready and everything."

I nod as I follow her down the stairs, and I stop dead as I'm greeted by one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen.

With a coat of stark white and a billowing mane of light, the Princess sits upon the floor as a humble guest, politely smiling at Twilight and myself as we descend down the stairs. I look to her gleaming horn and her graceful wings, and I can't help but lose myself in thoughts of how magestic she must be in flight.

"Are you this 'Peter' Twilight told me about this morning?" She asks. I shiver as her voice passes over me: a distinct sense of summer wind remains upon her words. I can't do anythg but nod, entranced as I clumsily stumble down the rest of the stairs. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

I nod again, and fall into a seat across from the regal beauty. "You're beautiful," I finally whisper, staring at her slanted eyes and the light that hides within. She giggles, and shrugs off the compliment.

"Everypony says that when they first meet me," she explains. "I have no doubt you'll get used to it."

I simply nod again. I don't think I'll ever get used to anything here...

Then again, I got used to seeing the crazy shit in "Don't Starve," so anything is possible, huh?

"Now, I would like for you to answer a few questions," Celestia announces, "but first, I want you to eat. While we are not carnivores, we do tend to eat things such as eggs. So, Twilight helped to produce some scrambled eggs for you."

I look down at my breakfast, and that's when the smell hits me, and I immediately dig in. I didn't realize how hungry I was...

By the time I remember my manners, I've already finished the eggs, and I wipe my mouth of the excess deliciousness with my tongue. "That was great," I announce with a content sigh.

"Now, I have a question about your diet," Celestia announces. "Do you need to consume meat?"

I shake my head as I smile at the Princess. "No, Princess. I don't. So long as I get enough minerals, I should be fine. I've gone entire weeks without eating meat: I've eaten just cheese and vegetables and fruits at times. Bread, eggs, fish, and more - as long as I get enough protein, I should be fine. I just hope by body doesn't go into shock if I change my diet too fast."

Celestia nods, and I hear a scratching noise: I look to see that Twilight is putting down some notes. She sees me looking at her, and smiles sheepishly. "Just for future reference," she explains before returning to her notes.

"Now, then, I'm going to have to look into your mind," Celestia announces with a frown. "I could just ask you questions about morality, but cultural differences may make a good answer seem poor..." I nod, and she pauses. "Are you...comfortable with this?"

"Yeah," I respond after a moment of shock: she's an all-powerful Princess, and she's asking if I'm comfortable with it?

"Alright," she mutters, gently pressing the tip of her horn to my forehead. "This may feel...odd."

I close my eyes, and gasp as I feel her vast consciousness entering mine. She prods and pokes at certain things, accessing memories I had forgotten I had, and learning about everything I know about my culture in a split second. She goes through what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what makes me violent, angry, and what has happened so far in my life. When she reaches her, I feel another twinge of sadness: I'm at peace with my failure, and yet, it's always there, reminding me of who I lost...

Thankfully, she senses how distraught that topic makes me, and skirts around it, leaving everything about her to my own mind. I feel the utmost gratitude, and I guess that she must have felt my gratitude, because I hear her voice in my mind:

Those memories are for you, and for you alone.

I think the words "thank you," and she continues.

And that's when she finds things that make her cringe, such as the endless hours of pornography I've watched, and how I started watching said pornography at the age of eight. Once again, she skirts around anything of a sexual nature, but still prods for any sign of sexual violence: she wants to be sure that I'm not a rapist.

After that, she goes through normal violence, and sees the video games I've played, and I can feel her amusement.

You humans have creative ways of causing pain...

You could say that...

She looks into more things, but I won't bore you. Mostly because she stops to read all the books I've ever read, and explain that she's copying them into her own mind so she can write them out for Twilight to read: apparently, the young unicorn is her student and protégé.

Once she's done, she comes out of my mind, and pulls her horn away with a small breath. "Well, that was interesting," Celestia announces, looking at me with the eyes that only one that truly knows you can have. "You're a very nice young man, but you have many...ah...quirks."

"And so does Rainbow Dash," I say. I wince as those words tumble out of my mouth: I hadn't really meant to say that...

"I know. But she's very nice and caring, once you get to know her," the Princess responds.

"Alright," I respond with a shrug. "I guess I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, then..."

Celestia nods, and straightens herself before changing the topic. "Now, I understand that you enjoy emotional physical contact," Celestia announces, causing me to blush, "and that that sort of topic is not smiled upon between individuals of the opposite gender that would consider themselves friends in your culture." I nod, and she continues. "Well, here in Equestria, that is entirely acceptable. Cuddling is just a way to show friendly affection. So, should you ever feel the urge to, say, wrap an arm around somepony...it's perfectly fine. Also, I saw that you like children: the best way to prove to Rainbow Dash that you're not a threat would be to befriend a filly named Scootaloo."

"Whoever said I wanted to be Rainbows' friend?" I ask.

"Nopony. I just don't think that you want her thinking you're a threat."

I shrug. "Alright...anything else you wanna tell me, about how to not get a broken nose?"

Celestia smiles at me. "Don't walk into any bars." I slap my hand to my forehead as she giggles at her joke. "Anyway, I had best be going. Thank you for the breakfast, dear Twilight. Take good care of our guest."

Twilight nods, and the two share a hug before the Princess disappears in a flash of light. My jaw drops open as magic is used once more.

Fucking magic.

"So," Twilight announces, "what n-"

It's then that the door to the library bursts open, letting in the autumn breeze, (yeah I found out that it's autumn, not winter,) as well as an incredibly drunk pony. How can I tell that she's drunk?

Well, because of the bottle of booze in her hoof, and the way she's unable to stand upright.

"Twerleart," she mumbles, taking a strange step forward, "I've gerts tahr tarkh ter yher..." With that, the Pegasus collapses, and the bottles rolls away from her grasp as she falls unconscious, her legs twitching in her drunken stupor.

"Oh, dear," Twilight mutters, "help me get her up. And don't let Spike see her like this..."

I nod as I close the door, and gingerly pick up the Pegasus, and help Twilight carry her into the basement. Once there, we place her on a small cot, and the both of us stand back as she finally goes unconscious with a small burp.

"Who is this?" I ask, staring at the unfamiliar pony.

"Her name...is Scootaloo," Twilight responds, her voice small and distant.

Author's Note

You know who's going to get blamed for this :P