What Am I Doing Here? - Return To Earth

Day 3 - teh internetz

So, how was your day? Good? That's good....

My day? WEEEELLLLLLLL.....

*5 Hours Earlier*

My Dad left to go on a swap meet for 2 weeks....Which means the girls can go inside....

Which means they found me on my Desktop....

I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh.

Chrysalis was lying on my bed reading my copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban while Luna and Celestia were staring at my screen with curiosity. Luna tapped the screen where my crosshair was while I was playing my Mechromancer class in Borderlands 2 as I was trying to kill the Handsome Sorcerer in Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep DLC campaign.

As the Sorcerer summoned out dragons for the millionth time I began shooting away with my Binary Evie and the dragons began dying one by one. I heard Celestia cough in disgust.

"So, this game is just all about killing creatures in order to win 'loot' and become a 'badass'?"

I nod without speaking a reply.

"How barbaric."

I hold back a grunt of anger. Celestia seemed to be one of those people like "Oh my god! Video games are so violent! Children are in danger!". I pause my game and turn a head to her.

"The whole point of a video game is to do and experience things that you cannot legally or normally do in reality. I can't go to a distant planet and kill shit here, so I pretend to on a computer."

I heard the gun shots and music blare from the speakers. I turn to find Luna had pushed the Escape key and unpaused the game.

"Oh shit!"

I grab my mouse and put my hands on my keyboard but it was too late. I entered Fight For Your Life mode and watch as my DeathTrap killed the last dragon, giving me a Second Wind. I sighed and paused the screen, giving Luna a death glare.

"You have no idea how hard this boss is. If I die, I'm gunna be angry."

I do admit that the Handsome Sorcerer is the most fun boss fight in the entire game, but even I don't wanna fight him more than once.

Luna merely sighs and moves to sit on my bed, loading up Mario Kart on my Wii.

After I defeat him I search through all the loot and found a Legendary, the Gentlemens Volcano.

'I've already got like 3 of these.'

I sigh and exit the game, bringing up my desktop of Sora from Kingdom Hearts II in all his Drive Forms. I was about to load up Left 4 Dead 2 (Celestia doesn't like gore, eh? Mwhahaha) but instead my eyes drifted over to the Google Chrome icon. I crack a devious grin and turn to Celestia.

"Remember the internet back at school?"

She nods and I turn to my screen.

"The school block certain sites and programs on their computers. My one however is free of the restrictions."

I click open Google Chrome and smile.

"I'm going to introduce you to the true face of the internet."

I load up Google and type in 'YouTube'.

"First stop, YouTube."

I scoot through the main page of the infamous video sharing site, trying to find a good video. I found the perfect one, as well as the perfect channel.

"SexualLobster."

I click open the video 'Pleasure Island' and lean back, allowing Celestia a clear view.

Youtube Video

I smile and looked to Celestia. her expression was...interesting. A mixture of shock, amusement and interest.

"That was....something."

I laugh and look through some more usernames.

"Yeah. SexualLobster makes tonnes of videos much like that one."

"We're not going to watch another one, are we?"

I laugh again and shake my head.

"Oh no. We are watching...."

I scroll through the videos and stumble across someone awesome.

"Markiplier."

I load up his video 'Drunk Minecraft | Goku's Nipples'.

Youtube Video

Unlike last time Celestia had clear amusement across her face. She was laughing the entire video.

"Okay, that Mark guy is quite hilarious."

I nod in agreement.

"Eeyup. Wade is a tool."

"Indeed."

I continue scrolling until I found the Yogscast video 'Minecraft - "Shadow of Israphel" Part 1: Crash and Burn'.

Youtube Video

Eventually me and Celestia watched up until the 30th episode.

"That was rather entertaining."

I smile with a nod.

"This was the series that gave them a majority of their fans, after all."

Celestia nodded and leaned forward. Luna and Chrysalis still doing the same thing.

"Is there anything else you can show me?"

I smile and type and address in the URL bar.

"Ooooh yeah. I know a good place."

I slam the enter key, jump up from my chair and offer it to Celestia with a devious grin.

"4Chan."

*3 Hours Later*

"CRYSTAL I SWEAR TO FAUST I WILL SPIT ROAST YOUR HIDE!"

I laughed as I heard Celestia shout from my room. Me, Luna and Chrysalis were currently enjoying a competitive game of Super Smash Bros. Brawl in the caravan. My mains are Ike and Pit if you were wondering. I was currently using Ike, Chrysalis lost with Kirby and Luna was currently in a heated match with Meta Knight and me.

Luna was about to use her Super Smash when I dodged it and used Ike's heavy hit, knocking her out and earning me victory.

As I jumped up and fist pumped, Celestia slammed the door open with a death glare towards me. I stopped jumping and put on a sheepish smile.

"Um, how'd it go?"

Celestia said nothing and merely raised her right hand with a deadpan look. After a few seconds a ball of lighting appeared in her palm.

"Let me show you how it went..."

Eep.