Chapters Having the Rhyme of my Life
Chapter 1: Having the Rhyme of My Life
David
Everything started on my twenty-fifth birthday, the date may second, my name’s David, by the way or…it was. That night I wasn't planning anything special, I was just spending it like I normally did: get a few drinks then spend some time with my best friend Ashley. She wasn't only my best friend but she also shared my birthday. Anyway, I was taking a celebratory drink at the exact moment of my birth when I had a really weird vision. The series finale of My Little Pony. I had always been a brony even after the horror that ended season five.
In the finale, Zecora had run out of the Everfree Forest with an odd looking tribal spear held in her hooves, feeding her gold tinted magic.
“Discord you treacherous Draconequus get out here and fix this mess!”
The mentioned villain appeared in a puff of green smoke, smiling.
“Well, if it isn't little miss witch doctor herself”, he glares at the spear, “with a little magical boost to help her along”.
Zecora’s eyes flashed from turquoise to gold and she shouted, “Bring back the others you horrible being or a prison of stone is all you’ll be seeing.”
Discord rolls his eyes. “What with that?” He snaps his fingers and the spear crumbled to dust. “I can’t believe you thought you could beat me with some little trinket”.
Zecora smiled and said, “No you dunce that was just a distraction, now turn around for…”
A voice from behind Discord screams “…SOME REAL ACTION” an orange manned Pegasus in a Wonderbolts outfit rams Discord at full speed.
Discord hit the ground before saying “Ah, Spitfire I wondered where you got off to after I banished the rest of your little sport group.”
Spitfire’s eyes flared with rage as she shouted, “BRING BACK MY FRIENDS YOU FIEND!”
Discord smiled and said,“I know I’ll send you to them, oh and don’t worry stripes you’re next. Five score divided by four…”
At that point the barkeeper had noticed me staring into space and asked, “Hey buddy are you alright?”
The question snapped me back to reality. “Yes I am fine dear barkeep, now there is someone whom I must go seek.” I walked out of the bar without even noticing what I had said, or the look on the guys face. When I reached Ashley’s house I had a terrible itch on both my thighs, choosing to ignore it I knocked on the door to Ashley’s house. Now a few things about Ashley, she’s a real tomboy. I mean, I've never actually seen her in anything other than jeans and a t-shirt. Also she’s a pegasister, one of the only ones to survive the mass extinction that was the series finale. I mean, while Zecora was my favorite pony it’s odd that the series would end with her and Spitfire.
Ashley opened the door. “David! Right one time as always soldier.” Ashley always called everyone soldier, or general, or sergeant, she used a lot of military terms.
“Greetings and congrats on your twenty-fifth year, and of course I’m on time there was no need to fear.” I said, still not noticing the couplets coming out of my mouth.
Ashley rolled her eyes. “Oh David you always did love Zecora, but never mind that it’s cake time.” You see, Ashley and I had basically grown up together and a few years into college we decided that instead of presents each year one of us would bake a cake or some other dessert instead. It was Ashley’s turn and this time it was chocolate cake, my favorite.
After a few minutes I excused myself to check out that itch. “Excuse me for being so upfront but I must investigate an itch on my rump.”
She looked at me a little oddly before saying “Oook.”
When I got to the bathroom I pulled my jeans down a little and when I saw the itching spot I said the only logical thing. “AAAAAAHHHHHH!!” On my thigh was a black spiral sun…a cutie mark…Zecora’s cutie mark…on my thigh.
Ashley ran into the room with a worried expression on her face. “David what’s wrong!?!”
I looked at her and said, “I checked out that itch and to my horror I found the cutie mark of Zecora.”
She stared at me blankly. “You got a tattoo?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “No I did not get a tattoo my friend this somehow appeared on my rear end.”
I showed her the mark and she said. “Well that’s not a tat for sure but how did it…wait. You said you found it looking for an itch? Hang on a second.” She ran out and a few seconds later I heard a piercing scream“Yaaaahhhh!” When I ran out of the bathroom I saw the problem on both of her thighs. It was a cutie mark of a Phoenix in flight…Spitfire’s cutie mark.
"Oh my gosh that's Spitfire's mark! What could have caused this thing to start?"
Ashley glared at me. "Will you stop rhyming?! This isn't funny!" She saw the confusion in my eyes. "Wait, you weren't rhyming on purpose?"
I just rolled my eyes. "I still don't know what you’re talking about, but my words aren't rhymes without a doubt!"
Now she was looking worried. "David, you are rhyming. Please, you have to listen to yourself, you're starting to scare me."
I sighed, "Alright then I’ll listen this time but I still don't think I’ll hear a rhyme." I jumped when I realized what I was doing.
"Wait, can I get this thing to stop? Maybe if I concentrate a lot?" Now I was worried. "Sorry Ashley I can't control this shit and now I’m seriously worried about it."
Ashley started pacing around the room. "Fine just let me think for a second, what the heck is happening to us? I got Spitfire's cutie mark and you've got Zecora's, not to mention there's this rhyming thing you have going on".
I frowned, "You know, I think it's subconscious all I do is talk and it just comes out like this."
She just said. "David this isn't funny! I-I mean what if this is somethin else, maybe it's not just a joke."
"Ok," I said scratching my head. "I have no idea what you mean by that, could you please clarify what you're gettong at?"
"I mean what if this dosen't stop, what if we actually become Ponies, or, a pony and a Zebra." he said shaking her head.
I thought this over, it was one thing for tattoo's to end up on our thighs, but I couldn't stop rhyming. That was a sign of mental tampering, or else I had gone insane.
"Well the tattoos are one thing but the rhymes are another, and if this continues to progress...oh brother." I slapped my forehead.
And As Troubles Kept Coming...
Chapter 2: And As Troubles Kept Coming…
“Look I'm open minded, and I'm a brony, but how is it possible to turn into a pony." I was staring to get upset.
"Well, I'm not entirley sure if we are turning into ponies, I hope were not. But if we are I bet it has something to do with Discord." She said and mumbeled something unde rher breath that sounded like. "That no good traitor."
I though on this for a moment and siad “Well, even if what you say is true why would we be becoming these two?”
She frowned, “I don’t know but to me it just seems...right” she had a point it did seem right. Ashley was alot like Spitfire she was a bit commanding sometimes and here hair was a bright red.
I on the other hand was a bit of a loner, I didn't wear my hair in a mohawk but it was pretty close to Zecora's shade of black, and yes I was African American.
“Alright then, my dear old friend. What should we do to help me and you?” I asked her.
She just sat there. “Look, it’s late and there’s not much we can do right now, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be alone. What if the transformation continues?”
I thought for a second. “As always you are correct, of course I don’t want to wake up alone as a horse.”
She smiled, “Great, then you can sleep on my couch tonight.”
The next morning, I got up and immediately felt an odd sensation on my head, like some of my hair was gone. I ran to the bathroom and saw the problem. over night my hair had migrated to the center of my head and it was starting to form a Mohawk. It also looked slightly striped some of it was noticeably lighter than it had been the night before. Ashley walked into the room and started laughing uncontrollably.
But as soon as I saw her I felt a lot better. “I wouldn’t laugh at my hair Ashley or I might judge your new do rather brashly.” She looked in the mirror and saw that her hair had changed overnight, it now looked a lot more like Spitfire’s mane, it was now more orange instead of her original red and it was spiked. In addition her eyes were now orange and seemed, at least to me, slightly larger. I checked the mirror again and saw that my eyes were still a light blue color, but Zecora's eye color matched my own pretty well anyways.
“Oh man, I really liked my old hair style.” I walked into the kitchen with Ashley pouting behind me.
“Well now that the transformation is going through, will you tell me what we are going to do?”
She stared at me. “Well I think we need to get supplies. I mean if this thing keeps going we won’t be able to go into public very soon.”
We spent all morning compiling a list of what we might need once the change was complete.
I looked over the list and said “Ok I’ll find the miscellaneous while you find whatever we need to feed us.”
Ashley looked at me and smiled, “Right, soldier you were always good at organizing this kind of operation”, she said as we walked to our cars. “Meet you back at home base around 1700 hours.”
I was at the veterinary store picking up some vaccines we might need if we transformed but when I looked at the back and saw all the unnatural ingredients something came over me.
I yelled at the man working the counter, “You dare to put this in the Equestrian race!? I have never heard of such a disgrace!”
I threw the medication at the man and stormed out the door. Before I knew what was happening I had driven to an apothecary and bought a lot of herbs and spices. When I got to my car and got my thoughts together I realized what i had done, “Wait why did I buy these? The last thing I remember was saying where are the meds please?”
I looked at the herbs and thought, It must be Zecora’s talent with brews this is what I’d buy if I was in her shoes . I was shocked to realize that I was even thinking in rhymes. I looked at the list in my hand and thought, well the rest these things should be at the store so I shall dilly dally no more .
Shopping at a department store when you have to talk in rhymes is no easy feat, especially when you look more like a Zebra every minute. I first realized how far I had transformed when I walked in the store and I saw my reflection in the window and saw that my hair was longer and more striped. my ears also looked more pony-like as they had moved further up my head, and come to a point. Also in the car an uncomfortable pressure had formed near my ass and I had a pretty good idea what it was. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall so I could check and sure enough a tail fell out but it wasn't a horse’s tail, it was less hair and more skin and bone, but it was still pretty long.
“Well these ears and a mane are just no good. Now I’m going to have to find a hood.” Fortunately there were plenty of hooded clothes in the store including a wonderful brown cloak that hung onto my back. After the little incident with my tail, it didn’t take long to get everything I needed but as I walked out of the store something in the jewelry department caught my eye. It was a collection of gold necklaces and bracelets with matching earrings and for some reason I can’t explain I couldn't resist putting them in the cart.
Once I got to the checkout aisle I thought everything would be clear, but since I had to take off my hood to buy it everyone saw my ears, which were almost fully formed now, and my mane, which was completely striped and fully Mohawked, and well…it got really quiet really fast.
The man attending the check out was completely distracted by my appearance, so much that at the end he asked, “Um, will there be anything else ma’am?”
I just shook my head. I didn't want anyone to hear my rhymes. The total was around 400 dollars since some of the stuff, like some special gloves for picking up objects. And the jewelry, hadn't been so cheap.
I was almost out the door when a little girl ran up to me.She looked me over a moment then said “Miss Zecora could I get a picture with you pwease?”
The girls mother walked over and said, “Sorry miss, but she loves My Little Pony and once she saw your outfit there was no stopping her, I hope it won’t be any trouble.”
I regained my composure and smiled, “No I’d be glad to pose for a picture I would do anything for a sweet girl just like her.”
The girl squeaked as she cheered “You’re rhyming like her! you really are Zecora!”
...We Had to Start Running
Chapter 3: …We Had to Start Running
When I got back to the apartment, I found that Ashley wasn't back yet, so I decided to try to figure out what to do with all the herbs I had bought. Fortunately, it turned out that I didn’t have to. Zecora knew exactly what to do. I was sitting down looking at all the ingredients one minute, and the next thing I knew I was stirring several mixing pots chanting about hoof-rot, and other horse related diseases. Within the hour I had a dozen potions mixed up, two for each common Equine disease.
As I looked over the potions I said “I’ll mix up some more if we get something uncommon; I mean I am becoming Equestria’s shaman”. That was when Ashley got back.
“Hey David did you get everything on your list?” Ashley asked.
I was finishing up the last potion. “Well Ashley I sorta did but first could you hand me that cauldron lid?”
She sighed, “David, I know Zecora made potions but really it’s just a pot.”
I kept stirring, “Well, yes it is, formally, but you make potions in a cauldron normally.”
She paused, “What?”
I sighed, “Look, this brew reacts quite violently with air so I need to put the lid on with care.”
Her eyes got wider as she handed me the lid. “Wait, what? You’re brewing potions in my kitchen? Why?”
I put the lid on the bubbling stew and said, “Well I went to the clinic to get those meds but the ingredients on the back filled me with dread. So I got some herbs from an apothecary and as for the potions well, say lavé.”
She rubbed her temples, “You know what? I should have expected something like this, I mean the ears, the mane, the tail and now you’re acting like Zecora. Not to mention those rhymes, which are giving me a headache.”
I looked up from pouring the brew, which had finally become less…violent and asked, “Do I annoy you with my rhymes? You’ll get used to them in time.”
“Gah!” She exclaimed and stormed out of the room as I finished pouring the potion.
She came back an hour later after I had finished cleaning up. “David I’m sorry I snapped at you before I don’t know what came over me.”
I smiled, “It’s all fine, friend of mine. The exact same thing came over me when I went to the apothecary.”
She smiled, “Alright well, I’m going to bed this whole pony thing is really stressing me out.”
When I woke up the next morning, I immediately knew something was wrong because as soon as I stood up my pants fell off. I ran to the bathroom and pulled down my underpants and saw the problem was that my…well, my male anatomy had completely disappeared.
“Oh great just my luck now what should I say? Oh yeah FFFUUUCCCKKK!!!”
Ashley ran into the room, she must have been tired because she had abnormally heavy footsteps, “David! What’s wro…” she saw my problem and she just stared. “You have a…but you’re a…and that’s just…whaaa?”
I pulled up my pants, which were loose, and said, “You know what? I'm not really that surprised. I expected this when the marks showed up on my thighs.” Then I looked down, feeling depressed, and saw something that made complete sense.
“Look, Ashley, I know we're both in pretty bad moods, but would you please look down at your newly formed hooves.” She looked down and saw that not only did she have hooves, but her legs were covered in yellow fur and had taken on a more Equine form.
“Ok this is not going well I was hoping we would have a few days before something this drastic happened.” Ashley said with fear creeping into her voice. At that point I walked out of the room and she called after me. “Hey where are you going?”
I walked into Ashley’s room and picked up a pair of her jeans, which I slipped into. “Hey what are you doing?” she asked me.
I rolled my eyes, “Well I’m a girl now apparently and I need some clothes that actually fit me.” She seemed a little perturbed although that got a lot worse when I cut a hole in the back of the jeans which I slipped my tail through, it was now a lot longer than the night before and was striped black and white just like the hair that was now growing on my legs.
“Dude will you stop messing with my clothes?!?” I handed her the scissors.
“While I will stop if it will please thee I suggest that you cut your own tail free.”
She frowned, “I am not mutilating another pair of my pants David.”
“Well of course you don’t have to, there's no need to wail, I understand if you are ashamed of your tail.” She looked a little hurt when I said that.
“What? I’m not...ugh...” She cut a hole in her pants and pulled her now fully formed orange tail out. “Happy now?” I just nodded. "You know what David? your skin is sarting to change color."
In shock, I looked down at my arm and saw that my normally brown skin was now either becoming dark gray or more of a whitish color.
"Oh that just had to happen, now I look just like a striped Michael Jackson."
shley laughed a bit at my attempted humor and asked. "You think anything else changed?"
It didn't take long to discover that our teeth had also changed, and that Ashley now had to small wings sprouting from her back. “Well I suppose flying will be cool and David I think you should know your face looks a lot more feminine.”
I thought back to yesterday, “Oh how could I not notice this yesterday everyone was calling miss.”
She looked at my head confused, “And David did you pierce your ears?”
I stared back at her thinking she was joking, “What? No! Why would you?...Whoa!” I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and saw holes in both my ears once I got back to the living room I said. “Ok I think I have a plan for these. I’ll fix this problem with plenty of ease.”
I walked into the kitchen and rummaged through one of the bags until I pulled out a pair of gold earrings. Ashley stared at me, “Why did you get those?”
I fumbled with the earrings for a while until I got them into my ears. “Well, yesterday at the store I felt in my heart, that I must have this jewelry in my shopping cart.” I said as I pulled the necklaces and bracelets from my bag and snapped them on.
Ashley looked at me, “David I think you might be taking this a little too far."
I just ignored her and pulled a pair of aviator goggles from the bag. “Oh and Spitfire these goggles look just like yours. I found them in the last of the stores.”
She rolled her eyes, “Look Zecora I appreciate the thought but…wait what did I just say?!”
Ashley and I stared at each other in disbelief. “I called you Zecora and you called me Spitfire! That’s not good I can’t believe this is happening!” She stamped her hoof on the floor resulting in yelling from the people downstairs.
“Whoa there girl! You need to calm down! And please don’t forget that we're not on the ground.” I said, reminding her that there were people living beneath her.
“Alright look I think we need to-” unfortunately that was when the landlord barged into the room.
“Alright that’s it! I've been hearing thumps up here all morning! Now just what is going…” he stopped once he saw the human-pony hybrids sitting at the table. “I…I’m calling the cops!” He said in pure terror as he slammed the door, I heard a chair being dragged in front of it.
Ashley looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, with horror in her voice “Zecora what do we do?” I noticed the name but at this point I didn’t care.
I stood up, started grabbing things that we’d need and said “Pack up the things that aren't for fun and then we go outside and we start to run.”
Chapter 4: The End is…Neigh?
It didn’t take long to gather everything up, as we had prepared earlier. The only problem I could think of was getting the door open, but Ashley took care of it as I finished packing up.
There was a sound like an explosion near the door, and when I arrived I found Ashley standing there, with two fully formed wings poking through her shirt. She turned to me and smiled, “Turns out Spitfire’s wings are good for more than just flying.”
I rolled my eyes as I dragged several bags out the door. “Come on Ashley we must go far and I think perhaps we should take your car.”
By the time we had gotten everything loaded up, I already heard sirens in the distance, and they only got closer as we found that Ashley’s new wings made it impossible for her to drive.
“Alright Ashley, hold on tight ‘cause if the cops catch us we won't live to see night!” I hit the gas pedal as hard as I could and immediately accelerated to fifty some miles an hour the entire time Ashley was staring out the windshield in horror while squeezing the armrest so hard I thought it would break.
Unfortunately the fact that we were leaving the scene of a 911 call, and that we were leaving as fast as we were drew some attention and pretty soon we were involved in a car chase down the highway. Unfortunately there were now at least three cop cars chasing us and I knew that soon more would show up if we didn’t pull over, which we couldn't.
“You know, I never thought I would be in a car chase. I've never even really been in a car race.” Ashley was just sitting there staring out the windshield when I got an idea.
“Ashley please look in the kit for first aid and you’ll find that I've packed us a smoke grenade.”
She pulled out a brown sack tied shut with a twist tie. “What do I do with this?”
I pressed a button and rolled down the window, “Just throw it at that police car and it will get us very far.”
Ashley said “I’m not sure I should do this, I mean isn't this kind of thing illegal?”
I looked at her and said “Legal per say this is not but it’s a better alternative to getting caught!” She frowned and chucked the bag out the window and when it hit the cars window it exploded in a puff of grey smoke. The cop pulled over to the side as more and more smoke poured off the front hood and streamed onto the road. Fortunately most drivers had slowed to stop before they hit the smoke line but if they didn’t they ended up stopping somewhere inside it, I don’t think anyone crashed, but I wasn't sure.
It was almost midnight by the time I had driven out to the country, where we stopped at an old farm to figure out our next move. “Well that went…horribly, just terribly, and when did you make a smoke grenade?” Ashley asked I was looking through the cabinets to see what supplies we could scavenge.
“While you were at the grocery store I mixed up some meds and a little bit more.” I opened the first aid kit and revealed two more smoke grenades as well as a case containing an odd blue powder.
“David what’s the powder is it…poison?”
I shook my head, “No but neither will it cure pony folk for it is the powder of poison joke."
She frowned “Dave that stuff doesn't exist in this world.”
I smirked, “Using different parts from many a plant I made this dust with the joke enchant.” Ashley just sighed as I continued to forage.
“I’m turning on the TV, if it even works in this place” she grumbled.
After a few minutes Ashley called me, “David you NEED to see this!” She sounded like she was freaking out so I walked into the room and saw Ashley’s landlord on the six o'clock news.
“…Walked into this girl’s apartment to see what the thumping was and I saw these creatures there.”
The news woman asked, “And what were they exactly?”
The man looked at the woman and in a voice full of worry he said, “Well they looked like some kind of human-horse hybrid, I mean they had hooves and manes and fur all the way up their legs.”
Ashley changed the channel where a newscaster was now saying, “…half way through the car chase one of the suspects threw a smoke bomb out the window.”
It cut to a shot of a line of smoke drifting down the highway. “The smoke continued to expand for over an hour and has just recently begun to dissipate.”
Ashley turned the TV off and started to cry “W…why? My life is ruined!”
I tried to console Ashley, but she locked herself in a bathroom and I couldn't get her to come out. Eventually I just sat by the door and thought.
“I’ll stay by the door the rest of the night, so I’ll be here if she comes out to make it alright.” It was there that I fell asleep waiting. The next morning I woke up to the sound of screaming from the bathroom.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
I knocked on the door and shouted, “Ashley please tell me that you are ok? I haven’t seen you since the other day.” I realized that my accent was really thick now, in fact I sounded exactly like Zecora. I quickly realized that wasn't the only thing exactly like Zecora.
When I tried to open the door I realized that I had a hoof for a hand. I gasped and quickly looked over the rest of my body. I was completely transformed “oh great hooves, hair, coat and voice I’m now Zecora, I had no choice.” Although, instead of being broken up by the loss of my humanity I was more curious as to why this was happening to us, that curiosity just made me even more curious. “Well at least I know why Ashley screamed. Oh man she is really going to be steamed”.
I told Ashley through the door “Try to turn the lock with your jaw since your hands are now hooves, I’m guessing you saw?”
“Shut up David!” was her only reply.
It took awhile but we finally managed to unlock and open the door. When Ashley walked out I found that both my predictions had come true. Ashley now looked exactly like Spitfire, and she really wasn't happy about it. I tried to cheer her up but she wouldn’t listen to me. I frowned awkwardly at her and shook my head before saying. “Well Ashley if you want to be that way fine but this isn't just your problem it’s also mine!”
The rest of the day was pretty awkward. Ashley didn't talk at all and I started to worry about her because she’s usually very talkative, and usually even more so when she gets scared. It wasn't until the end of the day, while I was trying to figure out how to work a remote with hooves that she spoke. “David I…I’m so sorry for how I acted today, I acted like a real bitch.”
I turned to her and saw she was crying. I could tell she needed my help so I walked over and hugged her as close as I could.
“There, there my sweet little mare. While you have not acted like you should, I really can’t blame you, your reasons were good.” I could tell she was feeling a little better about our predicament and that what she really needed was time to relax so I walked up to the TV and turned it on. I immediately wished I hadn't.
Chapter 5: Who are we Really?
“…after reviewing security tapes from the apartment building, the police discovered that some form of mutant was present at the time. The C.I.A., having no alternative, has stated that they will be searching the surrounding countryside, and possibly the entire state, to discover the whereabouts of these creatures.” I shut the TV off as quickly as possible and looked at Ashley.
Instead of crying again she had put on a stern face and returned to her tomboy demeanor. “All right soldier, we’ve got enemy forces inbound and limited provisions. I need options and I need them now”.
I was shocked but I replied, “I have the power of poison joke…” I paused before continuing, “…and a potion that will give them a stroke.”
Spitfire, no, Ashley stroked her chin and said sighed, “Huh, it’s drastic but we may have no choice if they find us.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Ashley taking on the government would be quite a feat, may I suggest that we make a retreat?”
Ashley turned to me with anger in her eyes. “ZECORA! I know you’re not one for violence, but we are under attack here. As Captain of the Wonderbolts I am ordering you as a citizen of the sovereign nation of Equestria to do as I command!”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Captain of the Wonderbolts? Your name is Ashley, not Spitfire you dolt!” Now she was getting really mad.
“Zecora, now is not the time for your-” I cut her off and slapped her across the face.
She fell over but got up quickly and shook her head, “David what is wrong with you? And why are you looking at me like that?”
I hesitated, not wanting to scare her but I just sighed and said, “Ashley you just became Spitfire, mind and personality all in its entire.”
She stared at me, “That’s impossible but…I can’t remember anything and…oh what’s happening to us?”
I thought to myself for a second. “I think I can help you figure that out, but it will be dangerous without a doubt.”
She looked at me worriedly. “H…how dangerous? What is it?”
I looked away.“It is what’s called the remembrance potion, but I don’t have the ingredients to set it in motion.”
She sighed, “Well that’s fine since we need to get out of the state before the C.I.A. show up.”
I rolled my eyes, “You do realize that we can’t drive so out of state how shall we arrive?”
Ashley smiled deviously and said. "Oh, don't worry I've got an idea."
Turned out Ashley’s idea was to hitch an old wagon to my back, load our supplies onto it and hike across country. “Tell me why I have to pull this cart I’ve been doing this since our new journey did start.”
Ashley, who was trying to fly at the time, said, “I told you a Pegasus can’t pull a cart like this for long. But a Zebra can.”
I grumbled to myself, “Well somepony is acting quite boastful perhaps that will wear off, well I can be hopeful.”
At that point Ashley was trying to figure out flying so she flapped her wings and launched herself into the air. “Yaaaahhhh...” She went up and tried to steady herself but all she managed to do was stay in the air for a few seconds before hitting the ground hard. "…Ouch!"
It was an hour later and I had mixed up a special potion to fix Ashley’s cuts and bruises, no broken bones thankfully. “You should count yourself lucky Miss Spitfire for if you had gine and flown any higher, you may have broken one of your wings and I don’t know how to fix those things.”
She started, “Zecora don’t talk like that I have complete faith in your...NO!”
I jumped as she screamed. “Why does this keep happening? Ze…David you said something about a memory potion, do you really think it can help us?”
I looked toward the sky, which was growing darker. “Help us sort our minds I think it could, but drink it I don’t know if we should.”
Now she just looked confused. “Alright rhymes are one thing but if you start talking like an oracle I will buck you to New York! Now talk normal!”
I rolled my eyes, “Look what if -and hear me out- we are ponies inside not just out.”
“What?”
I sighed and explained, “When Discord attacked in the very last scene he cast a spell, I don’t know what it means. It started out five score divided by four but after that I remember no more. And five score divide by four is twenty-five and that's how long we've both been alive. And with that odd little spell he did banish, Zecora and Spitfire at that point did vanish.”
Ashley thought to herself for a moment. “Wait are you saying that we might actually be Spitfire and Zecora? As in the actual characters? From the actual show?”
I sighed again, “Yes, I believe that to be true but now I must tell you what the potion could do. If we were to drink it -and I now think we should- we might become ponies completely, for good.”
Ashley gritted her teeth. “What does that even mean?!”
I looked straight into her eyes. “The potion would give us our memories lost…and make us the characters of Miss Lauren Faust”.
Ashley paused for a second, “Wait…your plan is to give us Zecora and Spitfire’s memories? Wouldn't that kill us or something? What if their memories overpower ours?”
I looked down. “Well if we are these ponies true then it would be the right thing to do. For if we keep them locked up in our minds.” I choked, “I just can’t do something so unkind.”
Ashley sighed “Your right.” I looked at her, confused. I thought that she would be more hesitant about the idea, or furious at me for suggesting it. "It's not our place to sentence two ponies to a fate worse than death."
I smiled, “Well I’m very glad that you agree but to find the right herbs, it won’t be easy.” I laid out the herbs and spices I had with me. “If I’m to get the herbs we need I’ll need a very rare plant indeed.”
Since I had driven very far, very fast yesterday so it only took about six hours for us to reach the nearest town I knew of that would have what we needed. Rockford, Illinois. Even though it was still dark out when we reached the town Ashley convinced me to wait until the next night to sneak in and find what we needed. I used that time formulate a cunning plan that could not possibly fail, I was going to rob the botanical gardens.
Chapter 6: To Steal a Flower
Ashley was slightly confused when I told her my plan. “Wait so this plant has memory healing properties?”
“Well no not exactly but I can make it matter of factly,” I explained. “The plant known as the Jade Vine a plant of blue so rare, so fine. Mixed with more herbs it will heal the mind but it will not be so easy to find.”
She sighed, “So you can mix this thing with your other herbs and make the potion?”
“Yes that is basically it, and that’s all I’ll need I do admit.” I looked toward the town. “The botanical gardens is where it will be, but no one can notice that’d be bad you see. For if we are captured the future projected would be one where we are most likely-” I paused -“Dissected.”
Ashley’s eyes flashed with horror as I said this got. “Why would they want to dissect us?”
I frowned, “I don’t know for sure that they actually would but when it comes to differences humans aren't that good.”
She grimaced, “You’re right.”
I then said, “Don’t worry my friend, for in that city zone to find the Jade Vine I will roam alone.”
Now she was shocked. “What!!? David you can’t just go in there alone! You could get caught!”
“I know I could, but I must take the chance to break us from this mental trance or leave Zecora and Spitfire alone, lost within our memory zone,” I stared toward the horizon. “I can't do that. No matter what happens to me these little ponies will finally be free.”
It was later that day and the sun was setting when I made my way to the edge of town. Fortunately the gardens were only about a two-hour walk into town and I needed to do this before the night was over, Ashley said. “David it’s a two-hour walk there and a two-hour walk back, plus however long it takes to get into the gardens, find the plant, and get out. What if that’s not enough time? If something happens to you…”
I looked into her eyes, “Don’t worry my life long friend I will return, I’ll be fine in the end.” I hugged her and began a slow, careful walk into the city of Rockford hoping that everything would be ok. Thankfully, it was...until I reached the gardens.
It took almost three hours to reach the gardens since I had to keep dodging cars and, at one point, C.I.A. operatives on foot. Fortunately I managed to get to the gardens without any incident, that didn’t last long.
As soon as I reached the gardens I ran into my first obstacle, I couldn't open doors or pick locks with hooves so I had to wait until someone came out. About an hour later a young woman walked out, she was about to lock the door when I walked up to her, “Excuse me ma’am but I must go in the garden I know it’s late but please do pardon, for it is a matter of death or life and if I don’t stop it there will be much strife.”
She turned around and saw she was being addressed by a Zebra, her eye twitched and she said. “You, Zebra, talking, rhymes…” she fainted immediately.
I sighed, “Lucky for me she dropped her key, so I can get in and the next part can begin.” I managed to pull the door open with my mouth and once I got inside it only took a few minutes to find the plant. “There you are my little flower, now to steal your unknown power.” I dug out the Jade Vine and moved it into a nearby pot for transport but my luck didn’t hold out long. I guess the woman had woken up at some point and called the cops, but when she mentioned talking Zebra the C.I.A. showed up. “Oh that’s just great, I’m already too late. The C.I.A. is here and now I should fear.”
That’s when they started calling over a bullhorn. “Alright come out with your hands, um, hooves up!” I managed to find a back door that apparently wasn't blocked yet but it was locked.
“Alright I’ll just kick it down then I can escape this horrible town.” One well placed kick and the door shattered unfortunately it also set off the alarm.
BOOWWEEP BOWWEEP...
The C.I.A. took notice immediately, I took off as fast as I could run with about twenty government agents chasing me but I easily left them in the dust. The real problem was when they got a van after me at which point I had to take evasive maneuvers, by running through someone’s house.
There was a lot of screaming, swearing and man asking, “Zecora?”
It was almost an hour later when I finally lost the C.I.A. and an angry mob that had tried to catch me after running through several houses. When I managed to get back to where Ashley and I had agreed to meet I didn’t find her immediately so I started to get worried.
“Ashley where are you my dear old friend I back for my trip, with an unfortunate end.”
“Up here David.” I looked up and saw Ashley sitting on a low floating cloud. She flew down to me, “Did you get your plant?”
I smiled, “Yes I got the Jade Vine and now it is my moment to shine.” We made our way out of the city and, once we found a secluded spot I began grinding the Jade Vine’s petals, along with other herbs, plants and spices into two potions. “Now I need the last ingredient and it must be added at the immediate.”
Ashley, who was leaning against a nearby tree, asked, “And what is tha-OW!”
The cry of pain was because I pulled a hair from her tail and mixed it into her potion, and then I did the same thing to me and mine. “That was to match our D.N.A. or the potion wouldn’t work anyway.”
I pushed Ashley’s potion to her and told her, “Alright just drink it all and then in your mind something should call.”
She seemed a little unsure. “David if this is the end of us...I just want you to know...you made my life worth living.”
I smiled, “The same to you dear Ashley, and just so you know I will really miss thee.” I looked at the potion on the ground and sighed. “Over the lips, past the gums look at stomach here it comes”. With those words I bent over, picked the potion up in my mouth and drank it.
And with that I died.
Chapter 7: Lost in my Mind
I suppose that “died” doesn't really describe what happened to me. My heart and other internal organs still functioned normally, but my brain was where the problem started. I woke up and found myself surrounded by complete darkness.
“Well this place is slightly disturbing and as for the dark it is slightly perturbing.” The next thing I noticed was that my body had changed, again, I looked like my old self but I was still rhyming. “My rhyming hex just will not end and where I am I can’t pretend, I've gone into my subconscious mind and Zecora I must go and find.” At that point I saw a light glowing in the distance. “I suppose I should go towards the light and find she who is locked in fright.”
I don’t know how long it took to reach the light as I had no way of telling time. When I finally reached the light I saw that it was emanating from a wooden cage that appeared to grow right out of the ground, and locked inside that cage was the sleeping form of the Zebra enchantress whom I had recently become. “Well Zecora I guess it’s time, for me to release you from Discord’s crime.”
When I saw a collection of keys to Zecora’s cage I began to think, if this key switches our minds then you will be the one who finds, a way to save the rest of your friends while I’ll be trapped here till the very end . I hesitated for a moment before saying, “But I have lived a very full life and I cannot keep you locked in strife.” Looking over the keys I picked up a plain key made of light and dark striped wood. I shoved the key in the hole and a flood of memories washed over me.
“Zecora for disobeying our customs I hereby banish you from Zebgypt…”
“Five score divide by four your memories removed your body confused…”
“Y-you keep your creepy mumbo-jumbo to yourself, ya hear?”
“The little enchantress with her little old dances, but now I’m the one who’s dealing out trances”
“Oh monster of so little size…”
“…now where is that little Apple Bloom?”
“A perfect question, my little friend for Nightmare Moon you must not offend”
“For your insolence you must pay, cast off to a land far far away…”
“Zecora we have to work together if we have any chance of stopping Discord”
“Forgetting everything and living like a fool you have all lost, now no one can stop my rule.”
"HA, HA, HA, HA!"
And as these memories settled into my mind I felt something settle into my heart.
That thing spoke to me and it said, “Greetings my new human host and don’t worry I’m not a ghost. For in your heart is where I belong not trapped inside your mind for so long. Together, as one we shall help stop the beast…” I felt a wave of hope, cheer...and anger wash over me. “And I shall cook him at the victory feast.”
Zecora
So long had I been locked away that I forgot the light of day, but when I had all but given up hope I found there was no reason to mope. For the man who I had been made into mixed up my famous memory brew, and with it he had sought to free, my friend Spitfire, and also me. But one thing he could not recall was that it wouldn’t erase him at all. The potion is of a milder sort usually used as a first resort. When the mixture broke the spell that kept, around my new heart my soul leapt. I knew then this pairing wasn't random and we were meant to work in tandem. And from the memories I obtained I saw he had expected much pain, so I explained as clear as I could that the potion could only be used for good. He and I were the exact same being and it was his lost half that he was freeing.
Ashley
When I saw that I was surrounded by darkness I said “David if you killed me I’m going to haunt you until the day you die!” I was starting to freak out when I noticed that I was human, I smiled and said, “Well that’s a pleasant surprise.” The next thing I noticed was the light in the distance. “Oh man, if that’s heaven I’m so going to have a talk with God about this pony thing.”
Thankfully the light wasn't from heaven, it was emanating from a tornado, and in the center of the twister was the unconscious form of Spitfire.
“Alright so this must be part of freeing you, but if you go free what will happen to me? Will I be trapped here or will I just fade?” I thought this over for a while and realized something, We're not the only ones who this is happening to; Rainbow Dash, Soarin, Lightning Dust and all the others are in danger and are counting on someone to save them. “And Spitfire is just that someone.” I said.
I picked up a lightning bolt key shaped key from a pile of keys and said. “Well I guess this is goodbye.” I shoved the key into the tornado and was immediately flooded with memories that weren't mine.
“Spitfire, welcome to the Wonderbolts…”
“Five score divided by four…”
“So you’re the little pony who saved our lives…”
“Well solider enjoy your little trip, and remember a captain always goes down with her ship…”
“It is my honor to present to you the new captain of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire.”
“Rainbow Dash, welcome to the Wonderbolts...”
What happened next I really wasn't expecting, I thought I would be pulled into the tornado but instead I felt something fill my heart and then I heard a familiar voice say.
“Nice work solider, I thought I’d never get out of there.”
Spitfire
I had almost given up hope over ever being free again, but that all changed when Ashley agreed to set me free, even if it meant imprisoning herself. When she let me out we were both surprised as our souls intertwined. The only thing I said to her before we became one was, “Nice work solider, I though I’d never get out of there.”
Zecora
When I finally came to I realized that while I was still David I was also Zecora. There weren't two voices in my head but I was a little confused on what to call myself. That’s when Spitfire woke up.
“Zecora?” I turned to see Spitfire rubbing her head. “Is that you? I mean, are you awake?”
I smiled, “Yes Spitfire I have finally awoken and I apologize for past word mispoken for in your mind I placed the wrong notion, but I didn’t understand the memory potion.”
She sighed, “Don’t worry about it Zecora. Wait should I call you David?
“Call me Zecora for that is my name and for your pony self I will do the same,” I explained to her.
She smiled and began to search through the bags we had brought with us. “You know, now that I’m my old self again I think there’s something in here that I need.”
She pulled out the pair flight goggles I had bought for her and slipped them over her head. I smiled, “At first you did not want the goggles for flight but your mind has changed, I thought it might.”
She looked toward the sky and said in an authoritative voice, “Alright we need a plan; we know that the others are in this world somewhere and we need to figure out how to find them”.
I nodded my head, “Yes we need to find out our next move, once we do that our situation improves.”
Chapter 8: Others
Spitfire
It hadn't even been a day since I regained my memories, and Zecora and I were hiding out several miles from Rockford hoping that no government agents would come looking for us. We were hiding pretty deep in a forest in a secluded grove that looked like no one had ever found before.
Zecora was off searching for herbs in the woods nearby so I decided I'd try to figure out where everypony else was. It took awhile to turn Ashl...my laptop on, not to mention putting on the gloves that Zecora had bought for this kind of situation, but I finally managed to get two pencils on the gloves and type “Pony transformation” into Google search. That’s when I saw them.
There were literally dozens of results, most of them were Facebook posts on the subject, the first from someone named “Love Soft Kitty” replying to a post about receiving a Cutie Mark, the original poster claimed he had been joking but the way his answer was worded made me think he was lying.
The second result was an official article. On none other than me and Zecora, it even had a picture from a security camera on it of me and Zecora back at my apartment. “Oh, great now everyone knows.” I scrolled through the comments, which included theories from Aliens to secret government experiments but was mainly made up of Brony comments, but what really drew my attention was the longest comment, it was signed from someone named Thomas and explained how he was turning into
“Soarin.”
I read and reread the comment and said, “Well, it’s good to know he’s ok...if being banished and having your memories wiped counts as ok.” I shook my head and began a reply.
Soarin, it’s Spitfire. I’m glad you’re ok, I’m currently hiding near Rockford Illinois with Zecora, you know the Zebra from the Everfree? As you can tell we are currently the subject of a statewide man, err, mare hunt so I’m not sure how much I can say without risking our safety. If you have your wings I suggest you fly here immediately, I’ll meet you in the skies soldier.
After that I went back to searching the web but, finding nothing I shut it off. The entire time I was hoping that the government would think I was just crazy, and hoping that my friend would get the message before anything else happened.
Zecora
It didn’t take long for me to collect some herbs near the grove where Spitfire and I were staying. The forest reminded me of the Everfree so much I began to feel homesick. Some Ponies think the Everfree is a dark and horrible place but it was my home for more than a decade after I left my homeland.
I shook my head and said, “I need to focus on the task at hand, to find the others just like we planned.”
When I got back to the grove I found Spitfire reading something on her laptop with a small smile on her face, a smile of true happiness. “Spitfire, what’s with the smile? I haven't seen that one for quite a while.”
She looked at me and said, “Zecora, I was trying to find the others using the internet and, well, I found Soarin.”
I was surprised to say the least I hadn't expected our search to bear and fruit so quickly. I read the comment she was reading and smiled myself, it really looked like we had found another Pony, but one thing caught my attention. “Wait, if his wings grew in not long ago, he’ll be full Pony soon, should we let him know?”
Spitfire looked at me and said “I would but I don’t want the government, or anyone else for that matter, tracking us, I mean, look at this reply.”
The comment was probably from some kind of highly religious person because it said.
You Demons should not have come to this world, as the evidence of your existence mounts I will gather my brethren and we will destroy all impurities to our world.
“Now that just seems a little extreme, but he won’t stand a chance once we gather our team.” I smirked at the thought of Rainbow Dash kicking the pope's hat off.
Spitfire then scrolled down to another reply and said, “Yeah, and besides for every one of those people there’s at least one die hard Brony.” The comment said;
Spitfire, Soarin, and Zecora I hope you’re all safe and I just wanted to say that if you ever have need of my assistance I’ll be there for you...
Then in an act that must have gotten him a lot of hate mail he actually put his email address, phone number and home address.
“Well it’s good to know we have supporters he even offered us living quarters.” After reading that comment I came to an important decision “Spitfire, send Soarin the transformation warning, that he’ll be a Pony by tomorrow morning.”
She looked at me slightly excited and slightly confused. “Are you sure? What if the government-”
I cut her off. “Screw the government and screw every hater, if we ever have to we’ll deal with them later.”
Spitfire
I didn’t let Zecora know but I was going to tell Soarin about the final leg of his transformation with or without her approval, he was my friend and he deserved to know. I quickly typed up a reply.
SPOILER ALERTS
Good news Soarin. I’ll see you soon, by tomorrow morning your transformation will be complete, if you’re half as in shape as you were when we left Equestria you should be able to get here in a day or two, that is if you can remember how to fly, I’ll be expecting you soon soldier.
I looked at the clock on my laptop and realized it was almost ten. I hadn't even noticed it getting dark. I thought, Well hopefully Soarin gets this before he goes to sleep or he'll be in for a big surprise tomorrow.
Chapter 9: Waiting
Spitfire
“Come on team! Just another thirty laps!” I hovered above the training track as Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Lightning Dust, and the rest of the Wonderbolts raced around the track as fast as they could.
After another minute Rainbow Dash landed and I glided down to meet her “Nice Job Dash, keep that up and you’ll make Captain in no time.”
The Rainbow maned mare smiled at this and said “Was there ever any doubt?”
I rolled my eyes at her. She actually should have been a Captain already but Princess Celestia had insisted that I let her decide when Rainbow Dash joined. Soarin landed second followed closely by Lightning Dust and the others. “Alright everypony hit the showers...especially you Soarin you smell like something the Diamond Dog dragged in.” The rest of the group laughed while Soarin smiled at me.
I opened my eyes as the boom of thunder shook the sky. “Stupid weather I was really enjoying having my memories back.” The storm that was rolling in from the direction of Lake Michigan had been nagging me for several hours and there wasn’t much I could do now that it had reached me...or was there?
I flew toward the approaching storm and thought. Welp here’s to hoping that Pegasus magic still works on this planet.
Once I reached the cloud bank I felt a tugging sensation in my gut and before I knew it I rammed head first into the storm. And, just as I had hoped, the clouds began to pop like they did in the show. “Score one for cartoon Physics and screw you Mother Nature!”
I began to criss-cross the storm until all that was left were a few stray clouds “Hmph, that will teach the weather a thing or two about respect.” I landed back on the cloud that I had been resting on earlier and stuck my head through it to check on Zecora. Yep, she was still multitasking between searching for more Ponies on the internet and brewing more of her potions, including several of the memory-restoring variety in case we did run into any other Ponies. So to pass the time I decided to fly around a bit and test my wings.
My flight was actually quite relaxing for the most part, I knew that no one on the ground would recognize me as a Pegasus from my current height so I risked a flight over the city but when I got there I noticed was that a lot of people were staring into the windows of electronic shops, you know the ones that usually have TV’s in the window.
I decided that whatever was on had to be important to attract that much attention so I landed on the roof of a building across from one to get a good view...and in there...on no less than a dozen TV’s...was Soarin.
I’ll admit at first I thought that the store was playing My Little Pony, but that only lasted an instant when I saw that Soarin was in a grocery store, carrying a bag and shopping as if nothing had happened. Then the scene went back to the studio and the news lady began to talk. I couldn’t hear her very well but apparently Spitfire can read lips because I could tell she was saying.
“Those videos were from about a day ago taken in a town in Washington The C.I.A. has not said whether or not this sighting has anything to do with the other Pony sightings coming in from around the country or even the robbery that took place here in Rockford a few nights ago that may have had to do with one of these creatures, Back to you Tom.”
“Thanks Diane, next up-”
I took off and thought to myself “What was he thinking?” I wasn’t angry with him just a bit confused then I remembered what the news lady had said.
“...Pony sightings coming in from around the country...”
That meant that there were other Ponies in America so that was a start at least “Maybe he wanted to get the word out, raise awareness or something like that.” I said to myself “Well this could end in two ways. Either A. capture and probably painful experimentation or B. we end up as guest on SNL, or The Daily Show.”
I smirked as a thought popped into my head “I wonder how Zecora would do in an interview.”
Then another thought hit me, if we were going to get the word out and get people on our side then I needed to do my part. “Ok I need a group of people who won’t scream, call the cops or shoot me...and I don’t know where any Bronies are sooo...is there a park around here?”
I decided on the park because I knew no one would shoot in a place full kids. “Right.” I said as I looked down at all the people in the park below me. I smiled “Time for a little show.”
I took off from the cloud I had brought with me and went into a sharp dive, when the crowd spotted me a fair amount of them gasped, probably thinking I would crash. But I pulled up at the last second and flew directly over their heads, knocking off a few hats as I passed. I pulled up after a few seconds and paused in the air, staring down at the crowd. Then I flew straight up and blasted through the cloud I had brought causing a lot of oh's and ah’s from the crowd, after that I criss-crossed the sky and, after picking up enough speed, began to color streak with a line of fire following behind me and went to work. After a few minutes I flew back toward the ground and admired my work, I had used my fire-streak to burn a message into the sky, well not an actual message I had just spelled out.
SPITFIRE
I looked back down at the people in the crowd, a lot of whom were cheering, and shouted down. “Thank you Rockford and remember to support the Wonderbolts!”
I knew that my little air show would draw the attention of...everyone. So I quickly flew back to the forest where I was hiding with Zecora, waiting for Soarin to arrive.
Fortunately I didn’t have to wait long.
Zecora
While my companion was away on her flight I was stuck looking up news on Ponies, which was relatively difficult considering everyone was overwhelmed with the fact that a small missile had apparently been launched at the U.S. from Canada.
I was really starting to worry about what could happen if the government actually this got out in the open. I knew from experience how people and ponies usually reacted to something different or strange.
I walked out of the Everfree forest and toward a small town that I had heard of from a rather helpful Sea Serpent a few miles back. Ponyville, as he had to told me was a small town not far from Canterlot.
“In thinking this and perhaps it’s just me but they should have settled farther from the Everfree.” I said noticing how close the town was to the unnatural woods.
I trotted into town without a second thought and began to look for some kind of official building and, spotting town hall, headed towards the center of town.
I was halfway there when I began to notice the odd looks ponies were giving me, and the farther I went into town the odder the looks became. Some curious but most looked terrified.
“When I ignore it they stare at me more, perhaps they’ve never seen a Zebra before.” I thought to myself.
So I decided to do the friendly thing and introduce myself, I stopped next to a small bakery and said. “By the name Zecora I am known, and I have just moved here from where I have grown.”
At that point a pink, poofy haired Earth Pony filly jumped up and screamed. “She’s an evil enchantress, she does evil dances...” and then she just ran inside.
For a pregnant moment everypony was quiet so I decide to explain why I was here. “I-”
An aquamarine Unicorn screamed “Run!”
A trio of Earth Ponies near a flower shop yelled “She’ll curse us all!”
An young, orange Earth Pony filly picked up a tiny, red haired filly and screamed “Big Mac!”
A large, red, Earth Pony Stallion came barreling down the street and, seeing me and the look of terror in the orange fillies eyes, charged towards me.
“I’ll give this meeting a reprieve...” I said as I turned and began to run. “because I really have to leave!”
I don’t know how I outran that Stallion. “Perhaps he was younger than his actual look..” I paused thinking this over “you should not judge the cover of the book.”
The next day I went back to Ponyville and this time was meet with doors locked and shutters shut. So I did the only thing I could, using my potions, I grew a hut.
I opened my eyes as my memory ended. I, at the very least, looked like a pony, albeit with a few physiological differences, but here we were dealing what 5,6,7? different species interacting with Humans. If ponies had treated me in such a way when I first arrived what would the average Human do if they encountered something like a Minotaur, or a Changeling...Or a very large, very hungry, very confused Dragon. I put the thought out of my head as Spitfire landed on the other side of the glade.
“Maybe some brewing will clear my head.” I said to myself “and clear this sickening feeling of dread.”
Spitfire
It was less than an hour after I had returned from my flight when I heard something land in the glade followed by.
“Oh thank Celestia I finally found you!”
I turned and smiled when I saw a familiar light blue stallion walking towards me.
“Ugh, that flight sucked . Please tell me I can take the rest of the day off...”
“Soarin! glad you made soldier, and not in bad time either.”
Zecora looked up from her potions, smiled, and began trotting towards up.
“Soarin you remember Zecora right?” I said introducing the Zebra.
“Greeting soarin, and how do you do? Spitfire was very worried about you.” She rhymed.
“Yeah... I don’t remember you just yet.” he smiled at Zecora apologetically.
“Sorry. I’ve been getting flashbacks for a couple days now, but I haven’t gotten anything involving you. But I’ll take your word for it that I know you.”
Zecora stroked her chin a few times before saying. “If you want I can fix your memory issue, a simple potion and your lost memories ensue.”
Soarin sat down and thought on the subject before shaking his head and saying. “Thanks for the offer, but I’d rather let them come naturally. It’s more... exciting, I guess.”
Zecora just smiled and nodded like she understood.
“So Soarin how have you been these past few decades anyway? I got to keep my gender but Zecora here wasn’t so lucky.”
Zecora turned her head away but on white fur her blush was pretty evident.
Soarin winced and said to Zecora “Ooohhh... sorry to hear that. My gender didn’t change, so I got lucky there. Other than that, it’s been a pretty easy-going couple of decades.”
Zecora just shook her head and said. “It is fine, just please don’t remind me I would very much like to put that part behind me.”
I smirked a little before saying “Alright now that your here Soarin we can figure what exactly we’re going to do, Oh, by the way I saw a newscast of your little stunt at that convenience store, wasn’t a bad idea so I decided to pull off my own little stunt, although there was a slightly bigger audience.”
He grinned when I told him about my stunt show over the park.
“Slightly bigger audience? Spits, I got on the news!” I paused momentarily before continuing. “...Well, you probably did too, so how about we call it a tie?”
Then he put his hoof to his chin and said.
“Well... hmm...there’s always... no... well, we could always be guest stars on The Daily Show or something.” He joked.
Then after a moment he continued. “...Actually that sounds like a good idea. I mean, I’m certain there are other people turning into ponies, right? And there are probably people and government officials freaking out about it being a disease or something? Then why don’t we convince some talk show to guest star us, and make a public service announcement or whatever about how this isn’t a disease, and that we’re not a threat?”
“Well there are definitely other ponies out there, The Elements of Harmony and the other Wonderbolts for sure, and as for the Daily Show I was thinking the same thing, and the only flaws in the plan I can find are that A.) We can’t exactly drive to...New York right? and B.)”
I gestured to Zecora “She can’t fly and I’m not leaving her behind.”
Soarin just shrugged and said. “Then don’t. We can fly with her. As for her stuff, we’ll just figure something out.”
“Don’t worry, I have a bag for my potions and brews, since some of those are too dangerous to lose.” Zecora answered before trotting off. “Now my supplies I’m going to pack, and then we can leave once I get back.”
“Well I guess that takes care of that,” I said with a smile “next stop New York City!”
He smiled and said. “And back to being the world famous Wonderbolts!”
Zecora
It took about two days to get from Rockford to New York and let me tell you it wasn’t something I’d like to experience again. Turns out I have a fear of heights, who knew?
When we finally arrived Soarin and Spitfire dropped me onto a roof top not far from Daily Show Studios and once they landed we began to work out a plan.
The first idea came from Spitfire. “Why don’t we just bust into his office and ask him to interview us? I mean we're kinda famous already.”
I sighed and said. “We don’t want to scare him if we can help it, and if he calls the guards then we’ll be in deep shit.”
Soarin chuckled “Sounds like your kind of plan, Spits. How about we just do this the same way I did the grocery store back in Washington? We don’t need some elaborate plan when we can just waltz in the front door and give them guests to interview for an episode that will bring in a ton of money.”
I thought this over and realized that I had developed a way of overthinking things.
Soarin continued. “I mean, come on, what’s more interesting: a news channel showing off a couple YouTube videos of me and Spits being seen in public, or Jon Stewart himself interviewing us? And especially after we walk in and say that we’re there to do exactly that.”
Spitfire smiled. “That’s exactly what we’ll do. Then maybe we can find the Elements. Or even better, the rest of the team!”
I laughed. “Well if we’ve got a plan then lets do this, for this is a chance that we cannot miss.”
Soarin and Spitfire flew me down to the studio and together we walked into the building. Once inside the guards at either side of the doors mouths dropped and the assistants who were running around stopped dead and several of them dropped papers and coffee.
Spitfire just walked past the guards up to the receptionist and said. “Hi...we’re here for our interview.”
Soarin, and I stood in the Daily Show lobby waiting for something to happen while Spitfire waited at the receptionist’s desk. Unfortunately shes a bit impatient.
Spitfire tapped her hoof on the desk and said. “Hello, two Wonderbolts and a witch doctor here...I know this isn’t how you’d usually schedule an interview but my agents still in Equestria.”
At this point the guards finally came to their senses and realized that letting talking ponies into the studio might not be a good idea.
The larger one began shouting orders. “Alright put your hands in the air.”
I smiled. “Sorry to point out the flaw in your plans but it would appear that we don’t have any hands.”
The second guard laughed lightly before the larger one silenced him and said. “Now listen here you little-”
I interrupted him before he could continue. “Sir I don’t think you should try to make threats, or you might just say something that you will later regret.”
The second guard stepped forward and said. “Was that a threat?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t threaten others, that’s just isn’t me, it was just a piece of advice don’t you see.”
They looked at me in disbelief but I continued. “And before you ask for my speaking to cease I just want to say that we come in peace. For, and this is something you should already know, all that we want is to be on the show.”
The guards were now completely confused, I tend to have that effect on people, and the receptionist had regained herself. She looked from Spitfire to Soarin and said.
“You two were on the news weren’t you?”
Spitfire smiled. “I was in Rockford.”
“Washington state, for me.” Soarin answered not really paying attention to the woman. “Now, miss...” He read her name tag. “Julie, allow me to explain why giving us an on-air interview would be a good idea. First, the number of viewers you’ll get. Just think about it. What’s more interesting: a politician talking about something going on overseas, or three real-life ponies that more or less qualify as aliens from another dimension? Not to mention the fact that the live audience that will be here eventually will be all the witnesses you’ll need.”
“Second, money. Aside from the ridiculous amount of viewers you’ll get just from having all of us be on this show, you’ll be raking in more money than before. I mean, really; just imagine how many people will do whatever they can to get their hands on this footage.”
“Finally... you’ll get to do something no other talk show has done yet. You’ll get the chance to broadcast video of ponies that just happen to resemble those from a cartoon and just happen to actually be real. And of course, it’ll be a perfect chance for us to prove to you -- as well as everyone in the world -- that we mean no harm. That all we want to do is go home.”
I was slightly shocked for a second at just how convincing that explanation had been and, from the look on her face, so was the receptionist.
“Well I umm...let me just...there's someone I need to call.”
She fumbled with the phone for a few seconds before managing to hit the right button. The phone rang a few times before someone on the other end picked up and and she said.
“Mister Stewart? You need to come see this. Yes, it’s important.”
Chapter 10: Daily Show Ponies
Spitfire
It wasn’t long after the meeting in the lobby and the three of us were in on of the Daily Show’s waiting rooms. We were waiting for Jon stewart or the shows producer to show, possibly with the FBI. Needless to say I was a bit nervous.
"I really hope we're not about to be arres-"
I was cut of when Jon Stewart entered the room followed by several people with clipboards. He had a look of utter shock on his face as he saw us. I guess you have to see it to believe it.
I introduced us. “Hello mister Stewart, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, this is Soarin’ my second in command and this is Zecora my..”
I stopped when I realized that back in Equestria I had only met Zecora once at a very peculiar Grand Galloping Gala. I had gone to her for help because Rainbow Dash had told me about her but I hadn’t really known her. I had only known David not Zecora and I wasn’t Ashley anymore.
“..friend.” I finish avoiding the Zebras eyes as I glanced back at her.
I tried to push the thought out of my mind as I trotted up to the still shocked host and said, “You know, I’ve always been a big fan of your show. ”
Soarin chuckled and said. “Don’t go all fanfilly on him already, Spits! Give him a second to recover!”
I laughed a bit myself and smiled at the host before continuing. “So, are you gonna give us the interview or did we already get the next show?”
The man finally managed to collect himself and said. “Uh, sorry, when they said that talking horses were asking to get on the show I thought it was some kind of joke.”
“Nope, no joke,” I explained, “we’re trying to get in the daily show and we didn’t know how else to schedule an interview. And we’re ponies by the way, not horses.”
“Alright,” He grabbed a chair and sat down, one of the assistants handed him a clipboard. “Thanks.” He wrote a few things down and handed back the clipboard. “We couldn’t get anyone for today thanks to that incident in Canada so we were just going to play a prerecorded interview with Lady Gaga.”
I saw Soarin’ wince and he said. “How did that go?”
He just shrugged and said. “Could’ve been worse. Anyway the show starts in an hour so is there anything you three need?”
I smirked and said. “Yeah, how goods your wardrobe department?”
Soarin rolled his eyes and said. “Spitfire go easy on them, we don’t have to go all out on what we wear for this. I mean, getting the flight suits back would be nice, but we could probably get away with just our uniforms. You know, like the ones shown back in season three.”
“Good point, and don’t talk about Wonderbolts Academy, ok?” I hated that episode.
“Oh!” One of the assistants in the back said. “You mean those military-like uniforms you wore in Wonderbolts Academy, and the one Soarin’ wore in that one snapshot in the Canterlot Wedding?”
Soarin’ chuckled and said. “Looks like we got a fan among us, Spits. I’m gonna go ahead and congratulate you on holding back.”
The assistant blushed and said. “I just...got into it when I watched it with my little sis.”
I walked up to him and said. “I don’t think anyone will ever make fun of a brony or pegasister ever again after this.”
He smiled and promised to get the designs to the costume department, warning that they would probably come up to take measurements, and left with the others.
At the mention of measurements soarin’ said. “Oh man, this is gonna be awkward.”
Zecora, who had been quiet this whole time, chuckled and said. “It’s time like this that make me glad, that I already found what clothing I had.”
“Well,” I said smiling. “That was easy.”
“Yes, probably thanks to Soarin’s argument,” Zecora said with a smile. “and I haven’t seen any government.”
“Yet,” Soarin warned. “They might arrive in the middle of the show.”
“Well I have a surprise for the government folk,” She took out one of her pouches and said. “A package full of poison joke.”
Soarin frowned and said. “Okay, two things. One, where did you even get that? Two, no. If you throw that at them, it’ll just prove their point -- that we’re something to be afraid of. We’re here trying to prove them wrong, not give them another reason to go after all of us.”
Zecora looked away shamefully and said. “One, I mixed up plants in the earlier days. And You’re right I’m sorry I fell back on old ways.”
Soarin placed a hoof on her shoulder and said. “It’s alright this is a fairly stressful time for all of us.”
After a few more moments Zecora said. “Thank you Soarin’ for your understanding, and also for how well this situation you’ve been handling.”
He shrugged. “I got my panicking out when I started transforming. Decided it would be to much of a pain to panic anymore afterwards.”
I smiled and said. “Well since that’s cleared up I guess we have to move on to our next challenge which is..” I gestured to the door, where the costume team was standing. “wardrobe.”
It was, as Soarin’ put it, awkward. The team of costume designers hadn’t believed we were real either, so there was that, Then they had to get around the fact that they needed to design something with room for wings. And finally, they either had no idea, or no care, for how sensitive a Pegasi’s wings are. So yeah awkward.
“Ok,” I said after the ordeal was over. “If pretty sure fittings weren’t that awkward back in Equestria.”
“Hopefully it means we’ll be going on soon.” Soarin’ said.
“Yeah, how do you think the audience will react once we go on?” I asked smiling deviously.
“TEN MINUTES TO SHOWTIME!” Someone called from outside.
“Thank you ten!” I looked at Soarin’ slightly confused. “Uh, it’s something I picked up here in drama club.”
“Why Soarin’ I didn’t know you were into the fine arts!” I teased as we trotted out the door towards the costume rooms. We skipped the make-up, I doubt it would mix with fur, instead we got a quick grooming. It took me a little to get into my uniform, and after that we waited off stage for our cue.
“So, you two ready to reveal ponies to the world?” I asked excitedly.
“Yes, in fact I’m quite excited, that we are about to be spotlighted.” Zecora said smiling.
“It’s just gonna be a bigger audience than I’m use to,” Soarin’ grinned. “I wish I could see my friends faces when they see this though!”
Onstage Jon Stewart finished up his introduction. “Ladies and Gentlemen as you know from the news and various videos on YouTube, there has been a rather strange phenomenon occurring around the world. There have been reports of ‘ponies’ being seen. Whether or not these accounts are real is still up for discussion. Or, at least, they were, until earlier today when, completely by surprise, three of these ponies arrived here and made a very convincing argument to guest star on this show tonight. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce Spitfire, Soarin’ and Zecora!”
The three of us trotted onto stage to heavy applause, and took our seats.
So far so good. I thought.
“What are you idiots clapping for?!” Someone in the back shouted.
Spoke too soon.
The man continued his yelling. “These, these, things are a danger to us all! If we stay here we’re all going to become one of them.”
“No, you won’t” Soarin’ said in annoyance. The mics were hidden on my and Soarin’s uniforms and I think Zecora’s was in her necklace.
“But-” The man tried to continue
“No.” Soarin’ said. “It’s not going to happen unless you meet a very specific requirement. First, if you weren’t born on the week of may first, your fine. Second, if you didn’t turn twenty-five that week, your fine. And finally if you haven’t started changing at all yet, then it’s not going to happen to you. Ever.
The man sat back down, grumbling to himself, and Jon Stewart said. “Well, with that out of the way, lets start the interview, shall we?”
“Sounds good to me.” I was just glad that they didn't let people bring phones in here. Although the FBI had probably already seen us.
“Ok, obvious first question but, you three are talking ponies, from a Tv show for kids, who are now on earth. Would you mind telling us a little about yourselves?”
“Guess I’ll start.” I said with a smile. “I’m Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, and one of the fastest fliers in Equestria. I’m from Cloudsdale and when I wasn’t performing or on a mission or training new recruits I was either visiting with family or friends or spending some time in Cloudsdale or Los Pegasus.”
Soarin’ chuckled. “Sheesh spits, give ‘em your whole life story while your at it why don’t ya’”
“Alright Soarin’, why don’t you tell these fine people a little bit about yourself then?” I smirked.
Soarin’ grinned. “Brag about myself? If you insist. Alright, I’m from Cloudsdale to, for those of you who don’t know, it’s a floating city in Equestria. No I’m not kidding Mr. Stewart. A floating city. I’m co-captain of the Wonderbolts, which makes me one of the fastest fliers as well. I tend to take things easy as much as I can, because outside of flying for the team, I’m to lazy to work harder than necessary. That’s pretty much it really.”
Jon Stewart nodded his head and said. “And you miss?” He gestured towards Zecora
She smiled and began. “The name Zecora is how I am known, and in the land of Zebgypt I was grown. A land far beyond the Everfree, it was never very appealing to me. And, after some incidents I’d rather not mention, I came to realize destinies intention. I traveled forth from the place of my birth, and crossed many, many miles of earth. Until I reached Equestrian soil, and there for ten years I did toil, in the Everfree, hidden away, from the ponies I met on my very first day. They feared my appearance, so it would seem, or at least that’s what I gathered from their screams. Until a little filly by the name of Apple Bloom, came to me ignoring what the others did assume. And she was the one who helped them all see, that there was nothing evil about me. And since that day I lived in peace, until I got sent here, at least.”
There was a pause after Zecora stopped talking. But soon, every member of the audience even the one guy from earlier, started applauding.
“Ok,” Jon Stewart said with a smile. “That was amazing. Do you always talk like that?”
“If to to my rhymes you do refer, then they are normal I assure. I can’t seen to stop them even if I try, but then again, why would I?”
I noticed Soarin’ frown and rub his temple but didn’t think much of it as Jon Stewart asked another question. “So you two mentioned being members of the Wonderbolts? What exactly are the Wonderbolts?”
“Well,” I said. “we’re part of Equestrias military, think air force, but we’re also a sports and air show team, kinda like those Blue Angels I’ve heard about.”
“Yes and you gave a little show over in Rockford didn’t you?” He said with a smirk.
“I guess, figured the publicity would be good.” I shrugged.
“Actually I think we have the footage, could we pull that up?” The video of me and my aerial spectacle over Rockford played on the screen and finished with applause from the audience.
Once the video finished Soarin’ said. “Of course you ended with writing your name in the air. Never could resist that little trick could you?”
I just smiled. “When you find something that works.”
Jon Stewart smiled and continued. “And Zecora, what exactly did you do back in Equestria?”
“Back home in Equestria I was a brewer of herbs, and I made to enchant them with Zebrican words.
Our host looked confused for a moment then said. “Wait, were you a witch doctor?”
Zecora smiled and said. “I understand where everyone keeps getting that notion, and yes I am a maker of potions.”
“So,” He continued. “A Zebra, witch doctor and two Pegasi aerial performers who are also captains of as I understand it, a specialized branch of the military?”
“That about sums it up.” I said smiling.
“Ok...obvious question but one that we're probably all thinking. How did you three get here?”
I looked down and said in a rather serious tone. “That’s the million bit question isn’t it? Well I hate to disappoint...Zecora if you would.”
The Zebra nodded and pulled a small pouch from her bracelets. Unbeknownst to Our host and even Soarin’ I had Zecora cook up a little something for this part of the show.
She opened the pouch and poured a small amount of green powder from the open flap. It turned to smoke before hitting the ground. Zecora nodded to me and I began.
“Twenty-five years ago Equestria was at peace. There were no wars and our allies of the Crystal Empire, Griffenhiem, Zebgypt and the many other countries all prospered as under Celestia’s sun and Luna’s moon.”
The green mist changed shape to show Equestria in all it’s glory, the sun rising brightly above Canterlot.
“But then everything changed. Discord, the Draconequus lord of chaos, came to Princess Celestia to warn her that a demon had breached the gates of Tartarus.”
The scene became Discord in the palace throne room with Celestia.
“Discord had been the former ruler of Equestria, before the Princesses defeated him with the Elements of Harmony, he had been reformed a few years prior by the Element of Kindness...or so we thought.”
The mist shifted between the Princesses attacking Discord, to the end scene from Keep Calm and Flutter on, to Discord wringing his claws in a dark corner.
“Princess Celestia, worried for her subjects, took no time to call the guard, the Wonderbolts, the Elements, or her sister to face the demon. Discord had gained enough of her trust so that, in her time of need, she took only him to face the demon.”
The audience was completely engrossed in the story and the smoky illusion. I looked over to Zecora and Soarin’ I knew from the looks on their faces that they weren’t looking forward to the next part.
“The Princess and Discord managed to defeat the demon, but in the battle Celestia was grievously injured. She called to Discord to help her and...”
I paused, rage filling me as I continued.
“...And he laughed and told her that he had been looking for the time to betray her all along, then he, he.”
I took a deep breath.
“He pushed the Princess into the volcanic mouth of Tartarus.”
There was a gasp from the audience as the smoke image Discord kicked the Princess into the pit, before laughing and teleporting away.
“What he did next, no pony expected. He made his way to Ponyville, the home of the elements of harmony and, one by one, he banished them to Earth.”
The mist showed him attacking Princess Twilight, then Rainbow Dash, then Pinkie Pie, then...I looked away.
“Next he went after other important ponies. I heard he got Prince Shining Armor and that means he probably got Princess Cadance to. I’m almost certain he got Princess Luna, he got a lot of others to...and then...he got the Wonderbolts.”
The mist changed to a group of Pegasi defending Cloudsdale as the chaos god tried to pin them. One by one he picked them off. I said their names as his spell hit them.
“Lightning Dust, Surprise, Fleetfoot, Silver Lining, Rapidfire, Misty Fly...” I droned on until the only Pegasus left in the smoky image was the one sitting next to me.
Sorin’s image in the mist looked around and, seeing that the others were all gone, flew straight at Discord screaming.
“WHAT DID YOU DO?! YOU SON OF A --”
For five score, divided by four --
Everything went blank as Discord’s spell took over. I looked at the audience, all of whom were in shock and continued.
“I wasn’t with the others that day, I was in Ponyville, trying to find Rainbow Dash Or Princess Twilight or...anypony really,” I shook my head. The place was abandoned. Either already being banished by Discord or having fled the town, the only one I could find was Zecora. She said she had come into town after sensing the energy that Discord’s curse put off.”
The mist showed me and Zecora, talking in front of a demolished town square and at the end of the conversation, shaking hooves before rushing towards the Everfree.
“Zecora used a Zebgyptian artifact that was suppose to grant her magic power and we hoped that with that and the element of surprise, we could do something against Discord.”
The scene was now Zecora, shouting for Discord as the spear drew natural magic into her. Discord appeared in a puff of smoke and from there, my first memory played out.
I saw Discord snap his talons and destroy the spear, taunting Zecora. I rammed him at full speed and his head spun like a top, until he grabbed it and stopped it. Then came the banishment.
I explained all of this to the audience and then said. “And we’ve been here for the last twenty-five years.”
There was silence for a moment, broken when our host said. “...Most of America probably already knows, or at least suspects, the answer to this question but I feel as if we need to hear it, pardon my saying, straight from the horses mouth so...where have you been for the last twenty-five years? How come no one noticed you?”
Zecora answered this question. “For two decades and five years we’ve hidden in plain sight, many guessed that we use to be humans... and they’re right.”
Needless to say, the audience was stunned. Soarin’ was the first to speak up. “She’s not lying. Hardly a week ago, I was a human myself. And I’m fairly certain there are a lot of ponies out there who could testify to the same thing.”
“Yeah,” I said. “If were right then everypony who was banished has lived the last twenty-five years of their lives as a human.”
Jon Stewart thought on this for a moment, then asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, who are you, or were you?”
In all honesty I wasn’t expecting this question. And I had no idea what to say. Fortunately Zecora spoke up.
“While I don’t know what’s on either of my friends minds, I rather not answer questions of that kind.” I could tell she was blushing again.
I was thankful that Zecora had done that, it was still a bit awkward for me to think back to being Ashley despite the whole mix thing that Zecora’s potion did.
Soarin’ however had no such quarrels and answered. “I was going through college back on the west coast to be a game designer. I’m a huge gamer, by the way. Grew up on the SNES, and I haven’t looked back since.”
Hearing Soarin’ talk so calmly about his experience made me realize something. I was NOT going to be upstaged by anypony.
“I’ll go,” I tapped my chin thinking what to say. “I was just working some part time job when this started but I was considering enlisting, and I practically grew up with David-”
I stopped as I realized my mistake.
Our host looked at me, confused, and asked. “Who’s David?”
I was about to try and make an excuse when Zecora spoke up. “Since everypony else shared I guess it’s down to me,” She looked down momentarily before sighing and finishing. “I won’t say much but my name was David you see.”
There was another wave of silence from the audience. Jon Stewart asked nervously. “So does that mean, that’s a boy’s name isn’t it?”
Zecora looked away from the audience. “Yes that name’s male and while it seems unfair, the truth is my transformation made me a mare.”
“Well,” Soarin’ said. “This is Discord were talking about. I’m sorry it happened but you know, chaos is what he does. It’s who he is . So really, unfair it may be, it’d kinda what he’d do...”
Zecora spoke up again. “It’s all fine I’ve accepted this though strange, but please I beseech you, could the subject be changed?”
This gained a small laugh from the audience as well as the host who answered. “Sure, what is it you hope to accomplish now that your ponies again?”
Soarin’ had apparently been waiting to answer this question. “I don’t know about Spitfire. but I’m going to find the rest of the Wonderbolts and my Equestrian friends. Haven’t seen them in twenty-five years, it’s about time for a good old fashioned party...and to find a way back to Equestria, but that’s after the party.”
I smiled. “That pretty much sums up my plan.”
Zecora just nodded in approval.
“Ok, but just one thing?” Our host paused as he looked between us. “How?”
Soarin smiled and stared at him. “Really?” He said fanning his wings. “Really?”
Jon chuckled and said. “Alright I earned that one. Now one last question before we’re out of time. How will your friends and family react?”
Soarin answered first. “I don’t know how my family will react, but this will probably be a nice way of getting started. As for my friends, those who didn’t watch me transform, will probably have already told my other friends.”
I thought for a second and answered. “I’m guessing my friends and family know, or at least suspect, what happened. They did show pictures of us on the news as well as my apartment.”
Zecora frowned and said. “My father will most likely be freaking out, but as for my mother that part I doubt. She always managed to keep a calm head,” She smiled and finished. “and she always wanted a daughter to tuck into bed.”
Jon nodded calmly and paused before turning to the audience and saying. “Thanks you for your time ponies, and I hope you succeed in your goals. Unfortunately, that is all we have time for today, ladies and gentlemen. So I say to all of you, farewell and have a good night.”
The show ended with thunderous applause as the curtain closed. The three of us plus Jon Stewart, walked backstage.