Ben was more than happy to invest in the ECI Studios after Twilight Sparkle explained the disastrous consequences that would follow the discovery and subsequent closure of the portal. During several weeks of conversation, negotiation, and stonification, he also came up with the idea of setting up a specialty fruit basket company to ship the product through the mail so they wouldn't have to rely on the Harris Express to carry the goods cross country. He brought up one other, rather significant point.

"You guys are going to have to actually have to make movies, you realize." He cocked his head and raised his eyebrow, raising a glass of 30 year old single malt to Twilight Sparkle, who sat across from him in the small business office they had rented in West Hollywood.

"How hard could it be?" She clinked his glass with hers and sipped. Her eyes widened and she smiled as the Isle of Jura filled her sinuses and coated her throat with sophisticated notes of vanilla, oranges, cardamom and prunes. She didn't say anything right away, savoring the complex flavors that rolled through changes as the aromatics precipitated and the warmth spread down into her chest. "Oh, this, Ben... this is splendid. I could definitely see this as being part of our little cultural exchange package." She grinned at him, dressed in a normal human version of her Equestria Girls body, wearing a navy blue business skirt suit.

"Well, as far as that goes, there are plenty of reasons to ship expensive liquor to a film studio, as well as computers, solar panels, and transmission equipment, but not very large quantities. And some of that stuff is export controlled. While customs isn't going to notice a few laptops going over, that Watson you're lusting after is going to have to wait."

She made a moue. "Oh well, we're going to have to make computers that ponies can use with hooves, anyway. And the Great Compact isn't going to automagically translate electronic communications, so we're going to need to localize everything. It's lucky so many games have already been ponified though; it's almost like some humans were getting ready for the market."

"I'm not so sure I'd call bronies humans, Twilight. I know John de Lancie, and he has some real horror stories."

"Oh, you should have seen what happened when our Friendship Journal got published. Humans and ponies aren't all that different. Most of them are normal, and some of them write fan fiction." She giggled, thinking about some of the Daring Do stories Dash had shown her.

"Well, thank God there's no loser brony writing fanfiction about me," Ben said, swallowing the rest of his whiskey. "But seriously, you can't have the supercomputer. The NSA tracks that sort of thing."

"Well, can I get a stepper at least?" She dimpled at him. "Then I'll make my own."

"I'm not sure what that is, but if you can make a computer with it, I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen either." He put down the glass. "It's risky enough that we're exporting the Equestrian agricultural products and thinking about importing small volumes of human manufactured products. The only way this works is if nobody notices that it's all passing through Cherry Hill. Bottles of whiskey, nobody is going to know about. Super computers and exotic ceramic composites just going to Cherry Hill and vanishing, that, someone is going to notice. And you know, eventually, this is all going to come out. I mean, too many people already know. And some of them are real idiots."

"Of course. I just hope when it does come, Equestria will be in a position to be be able to deal with Earth without blowing up Cherry Hill. I'm becoming rather fond of humans, even the idiots." Her smile vanished and she looked down at the rest of the fine scotch, knocking it back in a single swig before standing. "And speaking of idiots, I have to get back to Jersey."

"Going so soon?" Ben stood and held his arms out, and she responded by walking forward to give him a warm hug and a kiss on one cheek.

"Yes, we're in mid-demo at the building; we are still finalizing the buyouts some of the residents, and I want to make sure everyone is being taken care of properly, getting their expenses taken care of, making sure their new apartments are up to snuff, that sort of thing. The Princess of Friendship should be on the spot when the friendship problems go down."

He hugged her back and looked into her eyes. "Now remember, in six weeks, I'm going to be there with the girls and we're having our little mini-vacation in Equestria, and I really don't want there to be any drugs or stoners around when we get there. If they tell Jennifer about ponies, she'll laugh and think I took them to a theme party or something, but if they tell her about Uncle Neil and the magical bong or some shit, she'll have me killed and make it look like an accident, and I'm not sure I'm joking."

"Don't worry Ben. Everything will be Safe for Woona, as they say." She backed away, took out her phone and called the Cherry Hill office. "Sparkle to Enterprise. Beam me up, Harold."

"Actually, Twilight, you sort of beam yourself up."

She rolled her eyes. "Star Trek is literally the best thing about this planet, Harold, so play along and beam me up."

"Energizing, Captain."

She checked her phone app to make sure she had destination lock on, pushed a button she had just added that made the official Desilu transporter sound effect, waved at Ben, who waved back, and vanished in an unnecessarily sparkly column of light.

She appeared in the inner sanctum of ECI Studios, the room that had previously been Harold and Kumar's fifth floor two bedroom, but which had been converted, along with half of the fifth and sixth floors, into a high security facility, including two vault doors, steel reinforced walls and floors, security cameras, biometric measuring systems and a state-of-the-art nitrogen gas fire suppression system. She stepped off the plywood platform that covered the receiver's focusing array, and frowned at Harold. "Won't you wear the uniform I got you, please?"

Harold scowled. "I appreciate a good cosplay as much as the next geek, Twilight, but I'm not wearing a red shirt."

"Oh well." She shrugged. "I guess that's understandable." She concentrated and the business suit melted away, revealing her nude form which was, if not that of the sex machine, Miss February, still quite lovely, fit and distracting. "Clothes are such a hassle, don't you think?"

"Twi," choked Harold, "please put some clothes on, or go into alicorn form, or something!"

"Why does it always have to be sex, sex, sex all the time with you humans? It's just skin; we all have it. Anyway, we have perfect climate control in here. Why wrap yourself up so your skin can't breathe and you always feel bits of cloth and elastic tugging at you?" She held her arms out and spun around, relishing the freedom. "We should have an office party on a nude beach in Italy or something. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"And see all my co-workers naked and ashamed? Actually, that would be kind of fun. But I really don't think it's a good idea. Please, Twilight..."

"Do you want to mate with me, Harold? I mean, your sexual response is obvi..."

"OK! I'll wear the uniform!"

She jumped up and down with excitement, her breasts momentarily bouncing in syncopation until the uniform shirt of an original series Starfleet captain grew over them. Harold smoothed the front of his black uniform pants as best he could.

"Status report, Commander Lee."

"Aye aye, Captain Cocktease. All the residents have taken our very generous buyout offer except for the mean old lady in 4D. We upped the offer to a cool quarter million cash and a relocation to Hoboken, rent-free for three years, and she still threw us out. She was mad."

"Maybe I should just go speak with her." Twilight turned to go, and Harold cleared his throat.

"You sure about that, Captain? What's your plan? A lecture? An appeal to logic?"

She stopped and turned back, a disappointed look on her face. "Do you think a song would work?"

"I think teleporting her into space on maximum disperse setting might do the trick." He fiddled with the prop levers and knobs on the console.

"Let's save that for a last resort. The rest of the crew should be here any minute; we can have a conference and hopefully decide on how to overcome this little friendship problem."

The outer vault door opened and Kumar walked through, wearing jeans and a tee shirt. "What up, nerds?"

"Captain Sparkle, Lieutenant Commander Patel is out of uniform!"

Kumar scowled. "Hey, how come you get to be a commander and I'm only a lieutenant commander? That's some bullshit!"

"Who's the nerd now?" Harold waved his red sleeve with two wavy gold stripes at Kumar as his jeans and tee shirt morphed into a blue shirt with black polyester slacks.

"Whatever. Science is cooler than engineering anyway, isn't it Captain?"

"That opinion is correct, Science Officer Patel. Prepare to repel boarders. Or serve them drinks, depending. Either way, set phasers on fun. Lock the outer door, Mr. Lee."

One of the few functioning buttons on the board clicked. "Door secure, Captain." Kumar rolled his eyes.

"Activate deflectors!" Harold pushed another button, charging the Faraday cage that would prevent electronic eavesdropping from outside of the secure area. Kumar felt the hair on his neck go up, but knew it was safe. Twi had told him so. So it had to be safe. Right?

"Mr. Patel, scan the portal for life signs."

Kumar sighed, pressed his thumb into the reader on the inner vault door and waited for a click. Then he pulled out a flashlight, pulled the vault door open, and flashed his light through the portal into the darkness beyond. "Umm... no lifesigns, Captain."

"Really? They're running-"

A door in the building that had been put up to enclose the Equestria side of the portal opened and moonlight flooded the chamber; quadruped silhouettes entered to fill the room.

"-late. Permission to board, granted."

Kumar smiled and backed up, waving them in. The ponies entered the portal, one at a time.

First, Rainbow Dash flew in, landed on all fours in what she assumed was a dramatic pose, and looked around. "Cosplay? Oh! Can I be that Lara Croft character? She's aaawsooome!" she sang at the end.

Rarity followed, looking around at the freshly painted white walls and floor of the large space, and glancing at the windows with white rolldown blinds shut. "Oh! It's certainly... antiseptic!"

"It's an improvement, believe me!" Twilight grinned and hugged both Dashie and Rarity to her.

Next came Applejack. "Tarnation! Ah wuz expectin' some kinda shock or sumthin! Howdy y'all!" She was howdy'd back by all.

Pinkie Pie barrelled into Kumar and knocked him down. "Kumar! I haven't seen you in forever!"

"It's been a week, Pinkie." He sat up and gave her a cuddle. "I've missed you too, you lunatic. Speaking of Luna, how is she?"

"She said to tell you that next time she sees you, you're going to be going where no man has gone before, whatever that means. Or did she say she was going to be going where no man had gone before? Something like that." She kissed the now apprehensive Kumar on the cheek and bounded off to the snuggle pile forming around Twilight.

The last to enter was Fluttershy. She helped Kumar to his feet, then gently walked to Harold.

"Hi Fluttershy! How's Zecora?"

"She said to tell you she's all alone in the tree and she misses you."

Harold's face fell and he turned to look at Twilight. "You have a 48 hour pass, Commander Lee. We'll muddle through; enjoy your shore leave."

"You are the finest officer in Starfleet, Captain Sparkle! Bye ladies!"

"Uh Captain... any chance I can get a pass too?" Kumar gave her his best puppy dog eyes.

"Sorry Mr. Patel, I can't spare both of my bridge officers, not when my crew here is stranded on an alien world. Kindly secure the portal and then we'll equip our away party." Harold shrugged at Kumar and scampered through the portal.

"Ooh! An away party? Is that like a going away party but you've already gone away?" Pinkie appeared fascinated by the prospect of a type of party she didn't recognize, reached into her hair and pulled out a pad and pencil, ready to take notes.

"Not exactly. First, let's get transformed so we'll blend in with the natives. You all read the briefing, right?"

Fluttershy and Rarity nodded, Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked at each other and thought, what briefing? and Pinkie Pie stuck her tongue out of her mouth, concentrating on her doodling.

Twilight sighed. "Alright, just try to keep your balance at first, it's a little tricky." Her horn became visible on her forehead and a large nimbus glowed purple over the ponies, lifting them into the air, light shining from them as their shimmering forms distorted, causing Kumar to squint. He looked over at Twilight, and her eyes were glowing, her hair streaming, and her body levitating along with the others. There was a set of musical harmonic tones that threatened to overwhelm his hearing but then quieted down to something bearable, as the light faded and everyone softly floated to the ground. Every one of them, humanized, confused, and naked.

Author's Note

I know I'm a terrible person waiting this long to finish and you can all downvote me in fits of righteous indignation.