FOR THE WUBS DUDE! FOR THE WUBS!

"Right hook, uppercut, left jab, hail-mary..." My suit listed the attacks of the oncoming ponies, as I dodged them all.

I dodged until they got frustrated, which was pretty fast seeing as they were drunk, thats when I started my counter attack. There was somepony behind me that was trying to blindside me, I ducked, grabbed his arm and chucked him at an idiot that was charging without looking, they both hit the ground with a satisfying THUD. Next were three guys that wee attacking me from the front and both sides. I ran to my right and jumped, landed on the first pony's face with a CRUNCH. Before his body hit the ground, I jumped backwards and latched onto the neck of the closest pony with my fore hooves, swung around his neck like it was a pole, and, still holding onto him, swung my back hooves over the third pony's head and planted them on his back. This resulted in the third pony face-planting into the second pony's legs, causing them to land in a pile.

Five down, fifteen to go! I thought.

The next pony attempted a sloppy right hook, that ended in me ducking, and slamming my hoof into his chest, sending him flying into another pony, and they both went through a nearby table.

"Thats comin' out of your pay dude, those aren't cheap!" I heard Vinyl say, while Rainbow just laughed.

Five ponies surrounded me and all tried to hit me at once.

"Really? You guys are drunker than I thought." I deadpanned, while I jumped and they all hit each other. "Thats...um...crap I lost count..."

"Twelve!" Yelled Rainbow.

"Thank you!" I replied.

The next three were much smarter, they waited for me to move first. They were still drunk however, so they couldn't stop me. I pulled a flying kick on the first one, he ducked but that set me in a perfect position to flip him. Without looking I lay back like I was planking, and I reached my hooves behind my head, just in time to catch the pony's head. Using his body as the center of rotation, I flipped and took him with me. In mid air I decided to end this quick so I could drink myself to sleep tonight, so instead of just slamming him, I snapped him like a bull whip, resulting in a squeal of pain from my assailant. Afterwards I threw him at the pile of would-be-fighters.

"I'm getting bored... TIME TO GET GRUESOME!!" I said in as creepy a voice as I could, which was pretty damn creepy considering the voice modification abilities of my suit.

I watched as not just the audience, but both Vinyl and Rainbow retract in fear, although Rainbow recovered quickly and stood firm.

Alright suit, lets see your scariest weapon. I thought to it.

"Yessir." It replied as a pair of dual plasma shotguns popped out and began to charge.

"Now, anyone that would like to die, please keep fighting, or we can continue our nights like nothing happened, and we can still have fun! Wadda ya say?" I said to the whole crowd.

The circle of spectators dissipated and I walked back towards my new boss as my suit came off, once again revealing my shining silver coat.

"What was that there at the end?" Asked Vinyl still kind of scared by my performance.

"Don't worry I was bluffing so that I could stop playing with kids and get to the real fun with the adults." I replied with a smile.

"But bouncers aren't supposed to drink on the job dear." Said the DJ.

"Don't worry Tavi, he's not on the job for now, but he will be tomorrow, be here at 5:30 and I will teach you all you need to know about being a bouncer." Said Vinyl.

"Uh no offense Vinyl but, what do you know about being a bouncer? Your either a DJ or a bartender, your never a bouncer." I said.

"Duh! I own the place, I make the rules! As long as it is alright with the other owner, Tavi." Vinyl said in an unorthodox introduction to my second boss.

"Its a pleasure meeting you, my name is Octavia, and you are?" Asked the DJ.

Wow, the way she talks, you would never suspect her to be into the kind of music she was playing earlier.

"My name is Silver Moon, and might I add, that was quite an unorthodox soundtrack for a lady such as yourself to be listening to." I said in the best Canterlot accent I could.

"Hey whats that supposed to mean?" Asked Vinyl, offended by my comment.

"I'm not saying that the music or the way you talk is bad, I'm simply stating that I would have originally thought that you were more of a classical kind of mare than a hardcore-dubstep-rap-industrial mare."

"Tis true I was originally appalled by this type of music but, Vinyl here made e see things a different way." She said as she snuggled into the mare's blue mane.

Oh...they're a couple...sweet! I thought.

It was then that I noticed the air in the room became, devoid of...something...I couldn't quite put my finger on it but there was something missing. I looked around the room starting with the stage. Everything looked normal, except for the damage caused by the fight. That was until I circled around to the bar, where I watched as a familiar all black stallion was sitting down.

This guy? There is something about him...something evil... I thought.

"Hey its Shadowfang! Wassup Shadow, ya need a drink? Ya want the usual?" Vinyl asked as she took station behind the bar counter.

"Yeah, the usual will be fine."

Vinyl used her magic to make the drink while walking towards the stallion, she had it done before she even got there.

"Thanks." He said as he put some bits on the counter and downed his drink in one gulp.

"Hey boss!" I yelled over at Vinyl.

"Yeah?"

"I'll have what he's having!" I said.

"Are you sure? Its pretty strong." She said.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I replied.

Once I received the drink, I looked over at the stallion and made the universal sign for cheers and downed the drink as well. After that first drink, all of the events of the night blended together into a big jumble. I woke up on the edge of the gorge, it was dawn. I could tell because of the morning dew. I realized that I had barely any memory of what happened between that first drink and now.

I remember chugging, a drinking contest, throwing up, brushing my teeth, a hug, and a kiss. A kiss from Rainbow Dash. Also I remember having to carry her back to her house. Thats it though. I thought to myself, satisfied with getting black-out drunk.

I wasn't even the slightest bit worried about what embarrassing things that I might have done last night. I had fun, for the first time I could remember, I had fun! However, just to be safe, I checked the cameras and monitors in my suit to see if I may have hurt anypony, either physically or emotionally.

Have fun? Check! No one hurt that didn't deserve it? Check! Nothing embarrassing done? Check!

I then reached a video that had just the four of us, Rainbow, Vinyl, Octavia and I. Everyone was passed out except for me and Vinyl.

"H-hey Vinnie *hick* w-why do ya do...what you do, ya know? Why be a D-*hick*-J of all things? Why didn't you become something else?"

"Mah cutie mark *hick* told me that ah just looooooooved mu-music, so I do. Plus there is the wubs." She slurred.

"Whats a cu-*hick*-tie mark?" I asked half-heartedly.

"I DO IT FOR THE WUBS DUDE! FOR THE WUBS!" She shouted before passing out with the rest of them.

The recording ended with me carrying Rainbow home and tucking her into bed.

Hmmm... what's a cutie mark? I wondered.