I was walking though the concrete jungle. My eye's droopy as something droopy. I was never good at similarities. The world looked grey. The world was once peaceful but Everything Changed When the Fire Nation Attacked............. Naw just kidd'en everything is fine. I'm just tired and have´en a hangover. So everything and everyone is complete shit right now.
I continued my quest to the local Mac'Donalds. I put in my headphones and played some strutting music. The song that played was Gangster Bitch by Apache. A smile crept its way acrossed my face a the ever elegant and sophisticated lyrics blessed my eardrums.
My happiness was cut off short by some prick bumping into me. "O I'm terribly sorry, my good man. I didn´t mean to bump into you. I was being completely careless, I'm sorry."The man said sounding sorry.
I looked at him for a while before decking him in the face. "If anyone bumps into me, they better catch fade!!!!" I yelled. I looked down to see that I knocked him out. I looked to my left, then to my right to see no one. I quickly took the opportunity to snag the guys wallet. With that I ran off to get some eats.
Without me knowing a box was in my way. I tripped. (SURPRISE). I hit the ground with a thud. "Mother Fucker" I said as I picked myself up. I looked at the box it was old, dirty, and covered in stains. I walked over to the box with my pocket knife ready to kill any zombies. Hay you never know. I approached the box, the smell of urine filled my nostrils. "Well, it smells like my ex-wife." I said as I held my nose shut.
I lifted the top of the box open with my foot. I looked down to see a weird looking annoying horse."O my stars and garders it's worst pony.".............."Bye" I said as I turned to leave. As I began walking, something clapped on my pant leg. I looked down, to see the baby Snips on my leg. "GET OFF MY LEG YOU LIL SHIT!!!!!" I screamed kicking him off.
My screaming and abuse caused him to cry out in distress. The crying masked, the sound of approaching footsteps. "O daddy, look a baby horse!!!! Can we keep him?" A young voice said behind me. I turned around to see a man with a young little girl.
"I don't, know Susie. I think it belongs to that man."
"Hay who da fuck are you?" I growled.
"Um hello, I was wondering if I could buy that pony?" The man said.
"O well, in that case........" "Fuck off." I yelled as I socked him in the face.
"Daddy!" The little girl screamed as she ran over to her unconscious father.
"Well lil Susie, you learned a valuable lesson today. Life is full of disappointments, so fuck off." I said picking up the now giggling Snips and walking off. "So you like violence?" I said holding him up in the air. "We might get along after all........" I was caught off by warm liquid hitting my shirt. " Well maybe if I sand down your horn, you can pass as a puppy. And I can send you to a fighting cage.
I opened the door to my house and through the colt on the couch. He was giggling like mad as he bounced. "DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH, I SMELL LIKE PISS THANKS TO YOU!!!!!!!" I yelled, causing him to seece his laughter. He just looked at me with teary eye's. "O don't you dare." I said in a demanding tone.
His eye's began to fill up with tears. "Wait um...." I began searching around frantically for something to distract him. My eye's light up as I saw the T.V. remote. I quickly turned it on to Nick Toons. A picture of a yellow sponge appeared on the screen. "O gay. It's the new one's no one wants to...." I was caught of by laughter. I looked over to see the little mutant with his eye´s glued to the screen. "Kind of reminds you of your old life huh? Two dum shits causing chaos, you know Snails and you?"
Either he didn't understand or he was ignoring me. Because he kept looking at the t.v. I left the room to go change knowing he wasn't going anywhere. I opened my closet to see different shirts. "I might as well take a shower." I grabbed my shirt, pants, etc and headed towards the bathroom.
20 minutes later
I tossed my dirty clothes into the hamper, meaning the floor. Cause who gives a flying fuck. Then strutted my way towards the door to checkup on the baby Snips. He was passed out on the couch. "Daw he looks like, me when I'm sauced."
Wait? In the "My Little Dashie" story the poor fuck gets stuck with her for 16 years; If Snips is like 7 or 8 in the show that means........... FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 1&2 Gangsta Version
I was struttin though tha concrete jungle. My fuckin eyez droopy as suttin' droopy. I was never phat at similarities. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Da ghetto looked grey. Da ghetto was once laid back but Everythang Chizzled When tha Fire Nation Attacked............. Naw just kidd'en every last muthafuckin thang is fine. I be just chillaxed n' have´en a hangover n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So every last muthafuckin thang n' mah playas is complete shiznit n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.
I continued mah quest ta tha local Mac'Donalds. I put up in mah headphones n' played some struttin beatz. Drop dis like itz hot! Da cold lil' woo wop dat played was Gangsta Biatch by Apache fo' realz. A smile crept its way acrossed mah grill a tha eva elegant n' sophisticated lyrics pimped mah eardrums.
My fuckin happinizz was cut off short by some prick bumpin tha fuck into mah dirty ass. "O I be terribly sorry, mah phat man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I didn´t mean ta bump tha fuck into yo thugged-out ass. I was bein straight-up careless, I be sorry."Da playa holla'd soundin sorry.
I looked at his ass fo' a while before deckin his ass up in tha face. "If mah playas bumps tha fuck into me, they mo' betta catch fade!!!!" I yelled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I looked down ta peep dat I knocked his ass out. I looked ta mah left, then ta mah right ta peep no one. I quickly took tha opportunitizzle ta snag tha pimps wallet. With dat I ran off ta git some eats.
Without me knowin a funky-ass box was up in mah way. I tripped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (SURPRISE). I hit tha ground wit a thud. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Muthafucka Fucker" I holla'd as I picked mah dirty ass up. I looked all up in tha box dat shiznit was old, dirty, n' covered up in stains. I strutted over ta tha box wit mah pocket knife locked n loaded ta bust a cap up in any zombies yo. Hay you never know. I approached tha box, tha smell of urine filled mah nostrils. "Well, it smells like mah ex-wife." I holla'd as I held mah nozzle shut.
I lifted tha top of tha box open wit mah foot. I looked down ta peep a weird lookin buggin horse."O mah stars n' gardaz itz most shitty pony.".............."Bye" I holla'd as I turned ta muthafuckin bounce fo' realz. As I fuckin started strutting, suttin' clapped on mah pant leg. I looked down, ta peep tha baby Snips on mah leg. "GET OFF MY LEG YOU LIL SHIT!!!!!" I screamed kickin his ass off.
My fuckin beatboxin n' abuse caused his ass ta cry up in distress. Da bustin up like a biatch masked, tha sound of approachin footsteps. "O daddy, look a funky-ass baby horse!!!! Can we keep him?" A lil' voice holla'd behind mah dirty ass. I turned round ta peep a playa wit a lil' lil girl.
"I don't, know Susie. I be thinkin it belongs ta dat man."
"Hay whoz ass da fuck is yo slick ass?" I growled.
"Um hello, I was wonderin if I could loot dat pony?" Da playa holla'd.
"O well, up in dat case........" "Fuck off." I yelled as I socked his ass up in tha face.
"Daddy!" Da lil hoe screamed as she ran over ta her unconscious father.
"Well lil Susie, you hustled a valuable lesson todizzle. It make me wanna hollar playa! Life is full of disappointments, so git tha fuck outta mah grill wit dat bullshit." I holla'd pickin up tha now gigglin Snips n' struttin off. "So you like violins?" I holla'd holdin his ass up in tha air. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "We might git along afta all........" I was caught off by warm liquid hittin mah shirt. " Well maybe if I sand down yo' horn, you can pass as a puppy fo' realz. And I can bust you ta a gangbangin' fightin cage.
At Mah Pad
I opened tha door ta mah doggy den n' all up in tha colt on tha couch yo. Dude was gigglin like mad as his thugged-out lil' punk-ass bounced. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH, I SMELL LIKE PISS THANKS TO YOU!!!!!!!" I yelled, causin his ass ta seece his fuckin laughter n' shiznit yo. Dude just looked all up in mah grill wit teary eye's. "O don't you dare." I holla'd up in a thugged-out demandin tone.
His eyez fuckin started ta fill up wit tears. "Wait um...." I fuckin started searchin round frantically fo' suttin' ta distract his muthafuckin ass. My fuckin eyez light up as I saw tha T.V. remote. I quickly turned it on ta Nick Toons fo' realz. A picture of a yellow sponge rocked up on tha screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "O gay fo' realz. It aint nuthin but tha freshly smoked up onez no one wants to...." I was caught of by laughter n' shit. I looked over ta peep tha lil mutant wit his wild lil' fuckin eye´s glued ta tha screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Kind of remindz you of yo' oldschool game huh, biatch? Two dum shits causin chaos, you know Snails n' yo slick ass?"
Either da ruffneck didn't KNOW or da thug was ignorin mah dirty ass. Because he kept lookin all up in tha t.v. I left tha room ta go chizzle knowin da thug wasn't goin anywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I opened mah closet ta peep different shirts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. "I might as well take a shower." I grabbed mah shirt, pants, etc n' headed towardz tha bathroom.
20 miz lata
I tossed mah dirty threadz tha fuck into tha hamper, meanin tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Cause whoz ass gives a gangbangin' flyin fuck. Then strutted mah way towardz tha door ta checkup on tha baby Snips yo. Dude was passed up on tha couch. "Daw he looks like, me when I be sauced."
What, biatch? In tha mah lil Dashie rap tha skanky fuck gets stuck wit her fo' 16 years; If Snips is like 7 or 8 up in tha show dat means........... FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
