Chapter Thirteen: The Vaporizer Stare

Applejack, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash huddled together in their train booth, looking slowly at each other. The train had been in motion for only a minute or two, but the momentary silence was needed for the three of them. Rarity had done wonders this day, and so had the three Elements, weaving their plans to fight the pearl mares own. To say who was winning at this moment was anyponies guess. It didn't matter though, because at the end of the night, they all were going to hopefully be winners.

Still, the silence was awkward, and it had to be broken. "Applejack," Rainbow whispered, "I'm, sorry."

Applejack's muzzle twitched, her mental concentration broken. She looked at Dash, raising an eyebrow at her question. "Heh, what's ta be sorry about, sugercube?"

Rainbow laid on her side, her tail of wild streams half hanging off of the seat. She flicked it up into the air gently, watching the bundles of colors move in a disorganized wave. "About taking the make out too far. I know it was part of the plan, but-"

Applejack leaned over to stroke through her friend's mane several times over, watching the pegasus calm down swiftly. "Dasha dear, you just are tense in a lot of ways, and ya got more love in yer heart than ya take credit for. Don't be ashamed of it. 'Sides, it was part of the plan, and, well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it." She rested a forehoof on Rainbow's side, patting her friend once more. "I bet though, Rarity has no idea in Tartarus what exactly is goin' on anymore, and it's a good thing we got Twi' here onto our plan, too."

"I know," Rainbow said, looking up at her friend's eyes meekly, "but we're the best of pals, AJ, and so many ponies think we're a couple and just don't admit it. I know we talked about this in the barn, and it felt... nice to kiss you like that, but when I think about it... I really don't want to do that again."

"Rainbow, you might be the most overlooked pony when it comes to personality in Equestria," Twilight said. She laid on her side casually, hanging a forehoof off of her seat. She smiled motherly at the Dash. "You're going through a lot right now, and it seems you have some sort of minor crush on all five of us."

Rainbow bit her bottom lip. "That... kind of sums it up better than what you both know on your own. I love you so much, Twilight; and Applejack, you're so close to me, that I can't even think of words to explain it." Rainbow reached forward to stroke through her free flowing mane, glancing down at the added length to her spectrum of colors. "And now I have to think about falling in love with Rarity, of all ponies. It's just... a lot to think about."

Twilight took a firm drink of her lemonade, placing the bottle down to lean forward, her muzzle inches away from Dash's. "Whatever you do, don't force it," she stated. "Applejack and I aren't going to force it on each other, and while the plan is for her to get interested in you, I'm not going to force her to do it either. We just have to see if the chemistry between you two works."

"Exactly." Applejack kicked up her hind legs, resting them on Twilight's seat. "Rarity is double guessin' if you like me or Twilight, and isn't thinkin' about if we got anything up our manes."

"Which is always a big mistake when I'm involved," Twilight smiled smugly. She laid back in her seat, curling her tail around her side. The locks in her mane freely moved with every bob of her head. She brushed them back with a forehoof. "You just need to relax and enjoy the moment, like you tend to do. I mean, I'm calm, and look what I was like only a few hours ago. We have this under control, tonight is already shaping up to being something, well, epic, and things should be okay."

Applejack raised an eyebrow at Twilight's statement, only to be interrupted by Rainbow. "The reason you're so calm, Twilight, is because you nearly pissed yourself laughing at me and AJ." Energy returned to Dash's face slowly, a faint smile tracing itself over the corners of her lips. "And cause you're drinking hard lemonade. Can't forget that." Dash added dryly, receiving a snort of amusement from both of her friends.

Rainbow lifted up her forehooves. "Alright." She exhaled from the end of her muzzle. "Okay, I enjoyed makin' out with you, AJ. Your new hair makes you about twenty times hotter than before." Rainbow chuckled softly. "but I really need to get into the game of tryin' to get the hots for Rarity. She's kind of the last one of us I've thought about like that, so it isn't easy. We're kinda different, if you haven't noticed."

"Really?" Applejack said, "thought that'd be Fluttershy who ya didn't want to puff their pus'."

A blush began to glow across Rainbow's muzzle. "Yeah, about that." She laid her muzzle on her forehooves, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Let's just say... Flight School was more like 'Fondling School' to both of us. It was how we learned so much about each other and... things. Gilda and me were friends in the porn stash exchange kind of way. We both had egos that were way too big to work like that. Flutters' and me..."

"You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to, Rainbow Dash." Twilight's horn faintly flickered to light, lifting up the end of Dash's muzzle. "I'm sure you are kind of in shock from, well, kissing both of us today. Hopefully getting some from Rarity might be a bit of a shocker too if it goes that far tonight, but it could also defibrillate your system as well."

Twilight blinked rapidly at her own choice of words. "I... think I shouldn't say anypony is 'getting some' ever again."

"Please don't for my sanity," Dash replied, the three mares breaking out into a deep laugh that caused the other three Elements from across the room to look at them,

Rainbow Dash snorted loudly, repeating Twilight's sentence in her head. "Jeez, you are friggin adorable, Twilight-gah! Get off of me! What are you doing!?"

Twilight leaped on top of her friend, idly laying on the pegasus as if Rainbow was a couch. "Deciding to begin to defibrillate you early, considering Applejack told me a few things about you that could be useful in future situations." She scratched Dash with her forehoof, right where her new ponytail was connected to her muzzle. She didn't seem to regret jumping over to the now heavily occupied side of the couch, nor feel bad about half squishing her friend.

Applejack couldn't help but grin a bit more sadistically than she should have. "I thought it was useful to tell her. I'm sure Rarity'll find out soon enough. And well, that'll mean we got three ponies who know how to tame the lightning, and that's a mighty useful talent, if you ask me."

"Buck all of you with something really, really sharp," Rainbow Dash muffled, burying her snout into her forehooves once again. Her tail smacked into the floor in protest, but she didn't seem to be moving or resisting the neck massage she was being given.

"Speaking of sexual activity," Twilight continued, "I think Rarity and you will make an... oddly good couple; once the angry sex phase is over." She acted as if laying on top of her friend was nothing, Twilight continuing to enjoy her fluffy couch with secret delight. Besides, the grumbling of Rainbow was slowly turning into quiet nickers of content at the free head massage.

"I haveta agree with Twi' on this," Applejack said, cracking open her bottle of sweet tea. She too, wasn't in any rush to remove the unicorn on top of Rainbow's back. "To ponies on the outside, it seems that you two would be a match made in Tartarus, but you two can help each other out in ways we all see and would be thankful for."

Applejack continued, stroking her chin. "I never thought about it, but shoot, it makes sense, like many things recently. Just get drunk an' kiss her an' fight with her in the mornin' like we Fruits' do, and things should be alright. You'd two get on each others nerves at first, or... all the time, but ya'd also show each other the better things in life. Hopefully."

Twilight stopped her petting of the faintly mumbling Rainbow underneath her, slowly staring at Applejack. "Wow, Applejack, way to be a plothole to Rainbow. You could have at least worded it more politely."

Dash adjusted herself to support the weight of her friend. "Nah. Don't worry about it, Twilght; She's just pissy from missing the bitter taste of Mac cum clogging her throat and comin' out her nose. She has the accent from gargling so much of it."

Twilight should have been ashamed of herself for finding such an off color joke funny, but her friends had ruined her sense of decency in one way or another. She grabbed onto Rainbow Dash for life, breaking out a cry of joy from the depths of her stomach. "You two are awful to each other! Is this what you are like all the time? I thought around us it was bad!"

"Ya could say that," Applejack smiled, shrugging off the comment, "I forgive her for bein' so damn adorable though. And because she can snap me in half. And that's comin' from a mare who can snap most ponies in half."

"With your thunder thighs," Dash cackled.

"Shut it, thunder thighs," Applejack chuckled back, giving Rainbow a wink.

Twilight looked between her two friends, silently analyzing the fighting capabilities of both her peers. "Applejack, you're the strongest mare I know." She tapped her forehooves nervously onto Rainbow's neck. "I-I-I don't mean to imply anything, but your hind legs-"

"Mean nothing with Rainbow's speed, agility, and I don't know Kung Fu nor how ta exactly resist gettin' hit with a staff with a metal tip." Applejack took a drink from her sweet tea, looking down at the smiling pegasus couch. "Moment I can take a hard staff to the side repeatedly and not cough up blood, I'll tell ya. We earth ponies may be tough warhorses, but if you smack my back with a metal stick a few times, I'm not gettin' up again."

Dash shuffled a bit. "Y-y-yeah, I know how to fight with a quarterstaff. Both airborne and ground based. If like, AJ was brain washed to kill me, and even if my wings were tied, I could pretty much dodge everything she throws at me if it was life or death. Hit her knee or shoulder, nail her in the back of the head, then stab right at the cervical vertebrae, and she's dead."

"W-w-well," Twilight chuckled, her forehooves letting go of Rainbow, "I'm glad that we know you can fight for us if the world goes to a haybasket, right, Rainbow? Glad to know that you have such... knowledge."

Dash perked up her ears at the compliment, smiling up at Twilight. "And I'm teaching myself how to use a halberd, in case I need something with more power. You never know."

"A halberd?!" Twilight croaked, gagging on her own oxygen. "Does Equestria need you with a sharp weapon?!"

"I think the answer to that question is an undeniable yes," Rainbow replied, sticking out her tongue. "But that I'm teaching myself. It's just like a quarterstaff that can be a spear. And an axe. A spearaxe. I just have to make sure I don't slice off my own wings, so I can't dance with it I like I can with a staff."

Twilight dragged a forehoof across her snout slowly, shaking her head. At least Dash's motives were in the right place. "So the next villain we face you are just going to impale it?"

Rainbow's smile turning into a beaming grin. "Yep! Nothing solves evil god problems like a two hoof long titanium blade in the neck. Besides, I'd do it cause I don't want you all to feel that guilt of having to kill some god, so I'd take it. Besides, killing gods is a hay of a way to be remembered in Equestrian history."

Twilight rolled off of Rainbow and simply sat on the floor, stroking her temples. It was the best thing she could do. "I'm not sure if you need a therapist, I should be thankful, or just realize it's you."

"I could say the same thing about you, Twi'," Dash said, patting Twilight on the muzzle. "But we love ya for your craziness."

"Anyways," Applejack groaned, twirling a forehoof through her blond mare, "this is exactly the kind of thing Rarity can help ya with, Rainbow. I know you really don't seek glory like ya used to, but yer still as impulsive as they come."

"Other than Pinkie," Dash corrected, laying down on her side to enjoy her freedom, and her patting of the grumbling Twilight.

"Other than Pinkie," Applejack nodded. "Maybe she can help ya pull yerself back from being stupid from time to time, just like you can stop her from goin' overboard and mellow her out."

"Rainbow's stupidity is a chronic illness," Twilight chuckled. "I'm not sure that's something that can be cured."

"Hey!" Rainbow shot back at Twilight, "I thought you were defending me!"

Twilight grinned smugly, folding her forehooves across her chest. "I can't defend you from the truth, Rainbow. Mare-Do-Well should of taught you that."

Dash nickered away the lesson. "Your CORAD is a chronic illness."

Twilight looked quizzically at Rainbow. "That's no mental illness I know of."

Rainbow preened. "Compulsive, Obsessive, Retentive, and Anal Disorder."

"But I thought you're the one who likes rectal stimulation," Twilight smirked.

Dash threw herself into her seat, kicking at the one opposite of her in anger as Twilight rolled on the floor in a wave of glee. "Damn it! Trotted into that!" Both of her friends broke out into tittering chuckles at Dash's blushing. Rainbow growled darkly. "Oh buck both of you!"

"Both of us at the same time?" Applejack cackled, falling over onto the ground with Twilight. "Now, Dasha, that's just greedy. And while Twilight and her clonin' magics are fine, you'll have ta deal with stories instead of seein' it yourself."

"Cloning magic?" Twilight sighed, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye, "that doesn't even-" She gasped suddenly, sitting up in revelation. "Oh! So if I combined an ethereal projection spell with a quantum gravitation matrix spell and add in a subconscious mimicking subroutine I could-"

"Nerrrrrrrd!" Pinkie yelled directly beside Twilight, resulting in a frightened whinny from the back of Twilight's throat. Twilight tackled Dash protectively, nuzzling into her as if the pegasus was a shield. "Aww. You two would make an adorable couple!" Pinkie chirped. "Isn't Dashie soft?"

"Damn it, Pinkie Pie!" Twilight cursed, glaring violet death at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie beamed innocently back at Twilight. "What if I had a heart attack? Or peed myself? And do you have any idea how many times I've sworn today because of you all? More than I have in the last month combined!"

"Then while I'd totally smell of pee, I'd most likely join you from laughing to death." Rainbow chuckled, receiving an equally venomous glare from Twilight. "Besides, you swearing is maybe the hottest thing since Soarin's plot." It only made Applejack burst into another hale of laughter. Applejack too, received a robotic beam of revenge from Twilight Sparkle. It would have to do.

Rarity joined in on the conversation, poking her head above the couch behind Twilight and Rainbow Dash, directly beside Pinkie Pie. "I sense screaming and silliness," she hummed. "Therefore, I predict somepony is hiding alcohol and not telling me!" she sang. "Who here has been a very naughty pony on this train?"

"No, it isn't alcohol," Pinkie corrected, resting her muzzle on the back of the couch. "They are just talking about pee."

Rarity sighed deeply, her hopes dashed as she scratched around her horn. "I see the maturity level of my best friends is at an all time high. But, one must deal with who they save the world with."

"R-r-rarity," Applejack cooed, pulling back her chuckles, "ya gotta try this sweet tea I'm drinkin'. It's a sweet tea, lemonade mix. Course, I added some Apple gin to it; I couldn't let somethin' go ta waste."

Rarity flicked an ear at the statement, tilting her muzzle. "Where did you store it? I don't see anywhere where you could have stored gin."

"I have my places," Applejack winked, leaning back against the booth wall.

With a casual thrum of magic, Rarity pulled the bottle of juice from her friend's hoof and took a sip, before taking a deeper drought of the liquor. "Mmm. I can't taste the alcohol though, and while it's good, it isn't anything compared to what you make yourself dear."

"Okay, I lied." Applejack snorted deeply, the rest of the Elements looking at her in confusion. "I put cider in it."

"But why would you lie about that?" Fluttershy asked, popping her head beside Pinkie's and Rarity's. "I... don't get it."

"I don't either," Rarity said, taking another large chug of the drink. "Nor do I taste cider. Because I'm in a generous mood, I shall confiscate your drink in punishment! I was thirsty anyways."

Applejack broke. "Natural cider. Recycle and clean the tongue ya know?"

A plume of yellow water shot out of Rarity's muzzle, nailing Applejack in the snout. Rarity's face had turned solid blue in disgust, blurred by Applejack, Rainbow and Twilight holding each other in tear jerking bliss. Pinkie Pie had fallen backwards in squealing oinks, leaving Rarity's only ally being Fluttershy, who held her muzzle closed with a forehoof.

"I-I-I just bought it!" Applejack squeaked, her voice cracking as she held onto her crying friends. "Yer-yer-yer face is-"

"You, bitch!" Rarity shouted, slamming her forehooves onto the back of the seat. "I almost urinated myself in disgust! What if I got a disease from whatever you wallow in if it was real!?"

"Urine is sterile by default!" Twilight giggled, burying herself into Applejack's chest as she cried in laughter. "It's okay, Rarity. It'd just be a different kind of 'mouth wash'."

"Oh my friends deserve to be raped by diamond dogs and have their' ovaries eviscerated!" Rarity blew out a torrent of air from the end of her muzzle as the three mares - and one pink one behind her - bellowed themselves raw at the death threat, weeping on each other in bliss.

Rainbow Dash panted drunkenly, lifting up a forehoof. "T-t-the funny thing is, is that Applejack really did that to me once. And I drank the whole thing, thinking it was just some weird gin. So to get her back, I kissed her with the last mouthful, and forced her to taste it." She wrapped a wing around Twilight and Applejack, the three mares snickering at each other. "'Sides Rarity, I h-h-heard that yellow wine was in season this year."

"Blow it out your arse, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity neighed to the renewed guffaws of her three soon-to-be-ex friends, growling darkly at the trio. "It... it wasn't funny!" she pouted.

"I-I-I could always do that," Rainbow's voice squeaked, holding onto Applejack and Twilight. "I-I-I didn't know you were into that kind of kinky stuff-I can't breathe!"

Rarity could think of no solution to fix her anger other than to go to drastic measures. There were lines that a pony did not cross, and her friends forced her to retaliate in equal measure. It was the only way.

When the Elements' decided to dive into Fluttershy's main source of income - otherwise known as her cannabis business - Rarity considered herself on the lighter end of the spectrum with how much she liked to take. Twilight was in the same field, seeking only a minor high to nip the senses and lighten the mood. Now though... she needed as heavy of a hit as she could think of.

Rarity unlocked the box of royalty grade weed from Fluttershy's wing pouch, hovering the sealed container in the air. Fluttershy let out a loud gasp in panic, only to be hushed by Rarity sharply. "There is only one thing that a lady can properly do in this situation to lower her blood pressure," she began calmly.

The sounds of joy coming from her friends died down quickly as they watched Rarity do something she never did. Rarity was about to take the first hit. It was an event, no, a gala the likes of which the other Elements had never seen before. Twilight pulled herself up onto the couch as Rainbow sat up, leaning forward to make sure this event was actually happening. Even Pinkie Pie had pulled herself back up, simply staring in wonder, watching Rarity's magic pulsate to life to separate the bagged cannabis from the cutting edge vaporizer that called that sacred box home.

Smooth, peaceful blue magic gently danced around her horn as she merged the faintly shimmering, vibrant green powder into the vaporizer. What better way to enjoy the purity of the potent chemical than through one of Fluttershy's portable vending sticks? She meticulously filled the silver cylinder to the brim, twisting and snapping piece by piece into place until the nearly snout long staff was ready. Her friends, were in awe.

It wasn't that she was capable of doing such a feat that was miraculous; Rainbow Dash or Applejack would of been able to perform the task as well. It was the simple sight of Rarity's eagerness to consume perhaps the strongest cannabis that the world had ever seen. If the nobles of Canterlot saw her now, they would disown her as a country hick. It was a good thing they didn't know that she was doing a drug that the nobility across the sea would find her not only adventurous for doing, but youthful, and a bit mad for seeking so much of it.

It only added to the thrill.

"She's really gonna do it," Rainbow whispered, sitting up with a wing wrapped around Applejack and Twilight.

"Rarity!" Fluttershy said in a nearly normal speaking voice, "you can't! I should test it first! You're using too much, you'll-"

"It's nearly impossible to overload on tetrahydrocannabinol," Twilight said flatly. "She'll most likely just pass out. You know, the normal reaction."

"Or trip her balls off!" Rainbow squeed. She was setting a world record for that sound in one day. "I'm still gonna laugh if she pees herself!"

Pinkie looked down at Rainbow with just the faintest hint of disgust. "What is with you and pee today, Dashie? Look, I know what we did last fall was fun-"

"Did I really get ya into that?" Applejack mumbled. "Damn girl-"

Twilight stroked her chin in contemplation. "Well as long as she watches her sodium intake-"

"Shut the buck up. All of you!" Rainbow hissed demonically.

Rarity couldn't respond in words. The agony of the thoughts that whistled in her head needed to be fixed instantly. The last thing she needed to know was the sexual limits of Rainbow Dash's perverted and deranged mind. There was one, permanent solution.

Her horn flared to life furiously to begin the chemical reaction of heating up and stimulating the marijuana, a massive plus for being a unicorn. The look on panic on Fluttershy's face would of been slightly funny in another context, but for now, Rarity Gemma needed to take her mind to another realm. At least, for a few moments.

She knew the drug was ready instinctively. She could feel it through the response it gave to her magic. It was ready. For her.

Rarity was known as a mare of risk in business, as was natural in her trade. But not in her personal life and consumption. However, at this pivotal time in history, she had decided to damn everything, including her friends and rational thought. With a gentle tip to an unknown gentlecolt - and to block out the faint argument of Rainbow's sexual ethics - Rarity pressed on the golden button on top of the vaporizer, ready to take a hit and feel pure, clean, filtered THC flood her brain.

She didn't let go of the button, for over fifteen seconds.