Chapter Fifteen: Prelude To The Amplitude

To ponies who didn't live there - or the moderately intelligent - Canterlot seemed to be the model of what ponydom strived to be. It was the pinnacle of Equestrian culture. Beautiful domes, magical marble, mystical lights and wise minds printing out the knowledge that would change the world was at the core of what it sought to be. It was where the finest arts, greatest scholars, oldest lore and most ancient of buildings stood the test of time. It proclaimed what Celestia and Luna had helped build and cultivate after over two millenniums of progress.

It was exactly that. It was only a model. The world seemed to collectively forget what the children of millionaires and the college aged adults of bureaucrats did. Some of them would change Equestria and Ungulia in the future, and some of them would follow in their' parents hoofsteps. But did Equestria really think they were bastions of moral purity?

Moral purity, and thousands of twenty-something ponies in a confined space never went hoof in hoof, regardless of income bracket, educational level, or chosen by providence to be examples of virtue. Virtue had a good talk with Decadence recently. Virtue had been a bit uptight over the eons.

"And here, we, are!" Rarity had lead her sisters-in-arms - or more accurately in drugs - to the Undercity, following their alabaster guide through the city streets toward the more hidden sides of Canterlot that ponies tried to forget, but were secretly thankful for. Built into the cliffs underneath Canterlot and sprawling deep inside of the mountain, thousands of upper-middle class university students and thousands of questionably thankful merchants called this part of Canterlot home. Soothing magical street lights lite up the polished tunnels of the Undercity, buildings built in and around the caves and caverns, merging unicorn architecture with earth pony engineering brilliance.

The Mane Six stood in front of a throbbing, massive nightclub. It had been carved around and in a cavern that shot out into the night sky, occupying below, to the sides, and above the cave to form a sealed bubble of youthful vigor. Hundreds of ponies were everywhere; eating, gambling, dancing, drinking and legally drugging the night away. It was an open flaunting of sin and status. Invictus was its name. It captured the essence of what it was to be a pony.

And that, was to sing, dance, laugh, and be peaceful. By being utterly bucked up in the head in more ways than one.

"I'm so glad you aren't a flat character, Rarity." Pinkie Pie's blue eyes scanned the crowd of ponies, drinks, machines and music. She had never seen such a mix of so many forms of entertainment, cultures and ideas merging into what was surely, something she would try to replicate in a town that considered six ponies getting drunk a news worthy affair. "I mean, nopony would think of you as a mare who likes to party in this manner," Pinkie continued. "Good thing we know otherwise!"

Rarity offered a gentle bump of her flank cheeks into Pinkie's, resulting in a faint giggle echoing from their muzzle tips. "You, dears, have only seen the tip of what I have been repressing for far too long. I am more than meets the eye, that is for sure, and I am glad my friends usually see me that way." She looked over the other four Elements. "Usually."

"And all it took was weed from the Equine Union." Rainbow Dash hovered over her friends, simply to keep the dueling forces of a minor alcohol down and magical marijuana high from consuming her thoughts and making her body not quite fit to function. Instinctive flying was nice. "I still can't believe you all think Rarity and me, should... uhh..."

"We'll I don't really," Rarity clarified. "I'm sure you are fantastic in bed."

"Which I am." Dash nickered suggestively.

"And wonderfully affectionate-"

"-despite my amazing badflank meter hating it." Rainbow blushed.

Fluttershy wrapped a wing gently around Rarity, leaning into her. "She's like me, she just denies it because it conflicts with who she wants to be seen as, like you."

Rarity did one of the top five things she was best at. She pouted. "We have so many things not in common that, well..."

Twilight Sparkle held up a forehoof, her THC high having melded into a bitter calm, two contradicting things the unicorn should never be at the same time. "Being friends isn't about what we have that's different, it's about enjoying what we have in common, and accepting what we have that's different. Think about it: we're all polar opposites of each other, and yet we're still the best of friends."

"Bradley'sballs, I'm not friendin' anypony until I eat half a buffet," Applejack groaned. Her emerald eyes had dulled, puffing out a spiderweb of pulsating cherry from every throbbing vein. "I am so high right now," she said, rubbing her eyes with a forehoof. She took several steps forward, before shaking her muzzle in an attempt to wake herself up. It didn't work.

"Glad my date is an intellectual tour-de-force," Twilight huffed, stroking her temple with a forehoof. Whatever peace she had from her drug had melted away at the prospect of having to deal with a date far worse than herself.

"Cool story, Twilight," Pinkie hummed, leaning into Rarity, "But Jackie's right: I get pissy when I'm hungry too, and the last thing we need is Rainbow-"

"Enough with the pee jokes!" Dash whinnied, pressing her muzzle into Pinkie Pie's. "I get off to a lot of things, alright?"

"Oh I know that pretty well, Dashie Do," Pinkie grinned. Despite quietly puffing on Fluttershy's vaporizer, Pinkie didn't have the faintest bit of redness in her bright, cerulean eyes. Her split personalities had merged into one, coherent soul thanks to the weed, and the world was about to see it for the first time. From across dimensions, Q sighed at no longer having to work overtime to keep the space-time continuum from falling apart. As quickly.

Rainbow mumbled as she flapped her wings, pulling herself back. "I'll just not mention Button's-"

"Well I wonder how Rarity's gonna get us in?" As quickly as Pinkie had the upperhoof, her burning cheeks showed defeat, leaning over Rarity's shoulder as if the mare was holding something.

"You... walk in?" Twilight tilted her head to the entrance. "Do yousee a crowd? I don't."

Fluttershy nosed herself forward. "Umm, girls, I think you all are being a bit... snappy."

"And it is a very simple thing as our tense leader would say." Rarity waved a forehoof over the cavern of activity. "Barring concerts, it has enough room for anypony." She tittered, letting her faintly curled tail wag in the wind. "So let us trot on in, for Fluttershy is right; you girls have no reason to be tense!"

"But you are tense, most of the time." Fluttershy chuckled quietly. "You just are passive-aggressive about it. So you can't call us out for being tense too, cause that's just a double standard, and that's called being a bitch."

As soon as Fluttershy said those words, her face turned a burning napalm in color, a squeak escaping from her snout as she did her best to become as small as possible. "Oh... dear," she gulped.

"Fluttershy!" Rarity spat, sending forth a splatter of saliva onto the ground, "how could you say such a thing about me!?"

"It's the truth." Applejack prodded the unicorn's side. "I love ya, girl, and I really, really mean that, and this isn't just the weed talkin', but at times, it can be a definin' trait of you." She smiled, causing Rarity to shuffle in place at Applejack's stoned eyes looking at her. "Besides, Rarity, you think yer the only one? Rainbow's number one trait is just bein' a crotch cloud eatin' bitch. It's how she gets her anger out. You just gotta find a way to do it without throwin' a hissy fit."

"So don't worry about it, Rarity, even if it's true," Dash said, landing in front of Rarity. "Which it is. We all get it out stupidly. Like Applejack. She's a stupid hick, so she gets it out by being stubborn and beating trees, since she can't beat zebras like her ancestors did. Old habits die hard, you know?"

"And I get it out by repressing an angry side of me, doing cannabis while I help my animals, and engaging in the thrill of the drug trade," Fluttershy smiled. "It keeps me on edge and relaxed at the same time."

"And I lock away the half of my personality that would balance me out, but let it go satanic and contemplate the murder of anypony who even slightly annoys me," Pinkie chirped. "It keeps me on edge and relaxed at the same time too!"

"And I eat junk food, get migraines, tell Spike to do everything, and decide how I plan on overthrowing Celestia and Luna to create a despotic meritocratic socialist technocracy," Twilight said. "It's not that hard really, since she doesn't realize the industrial potential of Fillydelphia and modern magi-tek capabilities, despite me telling her otherwise."

The other five mares beside Twilight opened their mouths as one, but Twilight continued. She trotted in front of her friends, inhaling as if she was about to sum up the moral of the day. "Simple isn't it!? I'm glad you agree! And we can fix it. So all I have to do is get some connections with some industrial tycoons - which you can help with Rarity - and blackmail them to give me their' research. Then I jump start some think tanks, build some tanks by inspiring union laborers for the good of my socialist utopia, start an underground propaganda war on how she represses technological progress, use you all in your fields of expertise, and pretty much blitzkrieg to Canterlot, shock and awe the population, and tada! Overthrow Celestia and Luna, install you all as my generals, take the wealth from the nobility and give it to research and development - while aptly repaying my workers of course - and let the sheer excellence of my technologically advanced army make her submit."

She was trotting in place as she spoke, the eyes of her friends ink dots of terror. "Then I get everypony with a doctorate in Equestria, put them in power, and we take global imperium from there! Lets see you take a electromagnetic railgun to the plothole, Celestia! Next deity we face we should have known about? How about a dark matter cannon? I'll destroy every last hadron of you!"

By the time Twilight Sparkle was finished, her friends stared at her with a raw fear that made the thoughts of the mage sexually enslaving them feel like having a chocolate stain on one's coat. The other Elements were statues of their former selves.

Twilight blinked casually, flicking her tail behind herself as she ran a forehoof through the locks of her mane. "Did I not think about having enough artillery? That is a key component of modern warfare. Oh! I could use airships as Pegasi' carriers-why didn't I think of that! Thanks, girls!"

Her smile was not one of evil or insanity, but honest joy as a soft squee escaped from the end of her muzzle. She trotted forward to kiss each of her friends on the cheek. "This is why we're the best of friends; you all help me when I need you all the most. Friendship through Unity. Unity through Magic. I'll make sure to give you all high positions in my government! But this is still a decade away, so until then-"

"Wait. Hold up, Twilight." Pinkie Pie trotted in front of Twilight, placing her forehooves on the librarian-turned-dictator's shoulders. "There's something I wanna ask you."

"Of course!" Twilight chirped. "Although, I think the rest should be-"

Twilight slammed into Pinkie Pie with a shriek of pain, collapsing on top of the pink mare.

"Hey!" A large, black stallion guarding the entrance to the club called. He shot up, three of his companions following suit, eyeing the six mares. "The buck do-"

"She was choking," Rainbow called, hovering above Twilight. Twilight coughed up saliva onto Pinkie's curly coat, clinging to her meekly. Rainbow moved forward toward the bouncer. "She really likes the gum my pal in pink makes, and it got lodged in her throat."

He looked at his partners with interest, raising an eyebrow at the floating pegasus. "That's... a very interesting-"

"I'm a first degree black belt in Hailing Tempest," Rainbow added, landing on the ground as her wings folded to the side of her frame. "It was stuck in the back of her throat, but yeah, that might of been... a bit much, heh."

"We always tell her she chews too much gum," Rarity said, pulling up Twilight onto her hooves. "She's a librarian and well, you can guess how boring that must be."

"Try our job." Another of the guards, a brown, toned unicorn, snorted at the mares. "It's either boring, or dealing with fights, mares, drunks or druggies. No offense to you ladies." He leaned forward to look at Rarity, tilting his snout to the side. "Are you... on the VIP list?"

She nodded delightfully, eyeing the barely awake Twilight beside her. Twilight stumbled onto her hooves, held up by Pinkie Pie, Rainbow, and Applejack. "Yes! Rarity Gemma, and these are my fillyfriends." Rarity fluttered her eyelashes and blue eyes playfully. "I know it was excessive what Rainbow did, but alas, we are here, and, erm... different, if you can’t notice.” She waved her tail casually over her friends, gently flickering her magic through her own mane.

"I promise we won't cause trouble," she hummed, gently rocking on her hooves in a manner that made Pinkie Pie raise her eyebrow. "And I pay in real gold bits inside such a fine establishment."

The unicorn bouncer blinked for a moment. "Miss Gemma-"

"-Rarity please-"

"-if... you are trying to flirt with us, we are paid enough to not be seduced."

A deep, dark groan escaped from her muzzle. If Twilight had a more active ability to think, she would've been proud of how much it sounded like one of her own. "You know, I know I'm a very attractive mare-"

"-ya know," Rainbow whistled, "from this angle, damn, Rarity, you got a nice plot."

"-thank you, Dash, but I don't seduce everypony I come into contact with."

Fluttershy wrapped a wing gently around Rarity's. "Rarity, yes you do. If you can flirt with a pony, or... object, to get them to help you, you do."

Rarity dragged a forehoof firmly across her muzzle, shaking her snout as another painful sigh escaped from her mouth. "Pinkie, give me the pot," she hissed. "And can you all bloody sod off for about five minutes? I need a drink, or six.”

"I like drinking," Pinkie Pie nodded, bouncing up and down. She handed the warm rod to Rarity's, swishing her wiggling pink tail like a pet dog. "Can we go inside misters? We can't drink out here-"

"-don't, make, a joke," Dash growled.

Pinkie snorted in amusement. "Wasn't going to!"

Fluttershy looked up at the bouncers, stroking Rarity's side affectionately with her wing. She eyed her friend taking gentle puffs from the silver cylinder. "She's just tired from working too hard, not drinking enough liquids, and she's really needing a good mating."

She blushed, scoffing at the ground. "I know we're a bit... umm... different, but I think all of us could use all of that, when I think about it."

"I need some more vespene gas," Applejack chuckled, hiccuping afterwards. "Or to release some."

Pinkie's eyes twitched rapidly at Applejack's words, the black guard shaking his head from side to side. "You six look mostly harmless." Pinkie snorted loudly, prompting everypony around her to glance at her.

The colt to raise an eyebrow. "And legal enough, but Luna's landing you mares are bucked up and you aren't even drunk yet."

"Just don't cause any trouble, ladies." A baritone, obese pegasus looked over the Elements slowly. His massive frame and burgundy coat didn't hide the strength hidden underneath his fat. "You might be cute, but there's what happens in there, and what doesn't happen in there. Don't do what doesn't happen in there."

"That sentence doesn't make any sense." Twilight Sparkle groaned to life, shaking herself off as if she had been soaked in water. "I think I just got a mild concussion. Slight memory loss, fatigue. That's what happens when I smoke too much and don't drink enough; I hit my head and well, injuries!" She stumbled once more on her own legs, catching herself. "Thanks, Pinkie. I'm kind of klutzy."

Rarity continued to pull on the vaporizer, trying to bring herself back into the world of peace she knew only an hour ago, and again a few hours before that. "Relax, Rarity, and all will be-"

"What we have here, is a prime example of an annoyed Rarity in the wild," Pinkie said thickly. Her Oatstralian accent was pitch perfect. "Look at the way her smooth coat is standing up on edge." The earth mare groomed and stroked Rarity's sides firmly.

Rainbow Dash could not keep herself from joining in, scratching at Rarity's sides. "Fascinating," she said, her own Trotdon imitation spot on. "Now normally Rarities grind their' teeth or grit them when annoyed. Our current specimen is sedated to prevent a possible injury to the audience."

Applejack and the injury stoned Twilight had fallen over in hysterics, leaving panic to fill Fluttershy's muzzle. Soon too, Pinkie and Rainbow had fallen onto their backs, kicking their hind legs as tears poured steadily from their crying eyes.

Rarity simply stood there, her eyes staring off into the distance while she suckled on her magical grass. "I will have my revenge one day," she whispered, glancing at the bodyguards blinking at the squealing mares. "It may not be today, or tomorrow, or next month, but it will happen. They will feel my wrath. But for now... I just need to get drunk, and have a shag... with...  Rainbow... Dash."

She shook her head gently, rubbing her eyes with a forehoof. She did her best to think of words to insult Destiny and what it had dragged her into. She came up blank.

Tonight was going to be long, and by Nathan Fillyion's voice, she was going to get off several times by the end of it. All of them were.