"Wow."

{Wow.}

[Wow.]

(Wow.)

"That's some nasty shit." Deadpool stated, as he looked at a nasty pile of shit on the floor. "It's super nasty."

[Super.]

(Yeeeeeeee-)

{eeeeeeeeeeeeee!}

"Yeah, it's beautiful, ain't it? Mah wife made it herself!" Spouted the fat bartender.

"Damn, you must wanna kill yourself." Our anti-hero proclaimed this fact like it was butter on his ass.

"Oh, tell me 'bout it!" He said, sarcastically, as a bunch of smoke came out of his mouth. He took a few more puffs on his cigar that I forgot to mention before the plot actually got interesting... Oh no wait, Twilight is talking so that is just going to happen anyway.

"I-I jus' don' gat et." She whispered, while speaking cursive. "Whay wood teh princest lut you gew?" She then finished her fifty-fourth shot of vodka.

"TWILIGHT, QUIT YELLING IN MY FUCKING EAR!!! YOU CUNT!!!!!" Screamed Pinkie Pie, as she continued to try and touch Deadpool's penis.

"Pink One, stahp." Deadpool commanded. "Rub me once, shame on me. Rub me twice, shame on you."

"Come on! I'm bored!" Pinkie Pie proclaimed as she continued to try and grab a hold of our anti-hero's crotch.

{Stahp her, she's raping us!}

[Let her know that we don't take kindly to rape.]

"Rape is a good time for the whole family."

[Dipshit.]

"Excuse me, ma'am," Said a mare sitting next to Pinkie Pie. "Could you get your friend here to check his white privileges? I am a feminist and take offense to that."

"What was that? I wasn't listening." Pinkie said as she turned around to look at the feminist.

"WHAT?!" She screeched at the top of her lungs.

"Oh shit," Deadpool said. "You triggered her."

{Hit the deck!}

"RAPE! RAAAAAPE!!!" All of a sudden, multiple mares burst through the windows at the same time, all armed with pepper spray.

"Whet teh fuuuuuuck?" Twilight asked, right before she was grabbed by Deadpool and pulled behind the bar. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash made it to, but AppleJack was too busy selling crack to notice, and was quickly sprayed in the eyes then forced to check her privileges.

Deadpool looked at his new bitches and hoes, then quickly pulled his guns out to shoot the bartender. "Wait! I have a nasty pile of shit to protect!"

"To bad." He said as he blew the fat bartender's head off.

"Why'd you do that?!" Rainbow Dash asked like a mean old fart.

"'Cause he was a fuckboy." Deadpool then proceeded to jump up onto the bar and start killing the feminists. He sang a wonderful song whilst he commited mass genocide. After one whole minute, it was over.

"Oh shit, that was fun!" Deadpool stated as he finally allowed Pinkie to rub his dick.

"Oh, S-S-S-Senpai!" She giggled with a blush on her face.

(I will now use my powers as an author to make this story more interesting by relocating you fuckers to PonyTown!)

They all then magically appeared in Ponyville, except for AppleJack.

Will Deadpool save the day from boredom? Will he end up robbing a bank? Will AppleJack ever get back to Ponyville?
Find out next time in: My Little Mercenary, Ponies Make Me Rock Hard!

Author's Note

Oh yeah! Short chapter, I know, but the story is alive! HAHAHA!

Side-Quest Unlocked: AppleJack's Dream To Be A Drug Lord.

*GASP* You guys unlocked a side story! Lucky you! Now I have another reason to update this!

See you next time!