Chapters The Queen and the Forbidden Book
The changeling race was dying, that much was certain. The failed attack on Canterlot had sealed their fate. With their ability to suck love from ponies taken away, the hive was slowly starting to wither away, its numbers growing smaller as drone after drone turned into a lifeless husk.
The Queen of the changelings sat on her throne deep within the badlands, trying desperately to conjure a solution to her problems. Curse those blasted ponies. Everything was going according to plan until that purple one freed Cadence, I should have destroyed her when I had the chance. Her brooding was interrupted by a soldier drone entering the room. It bowed and stood at attention, waiting to be given permission to speak its message. She nodded curtly to it.
“My Queen, we have finished sorting through the items that were pilfered from the city of Canterlot. Among these was a book that we felt needed your attention.” She raised an eyebrow. Drones were not very intelligent, but it was unusual that they would ever come across something that required her attention.
“Very well, you may bring in the book for me to see.” She turned to the guards stationed beside her throne. “When they come in with the item you are to leave and stand guard at the doors, do not let anypony in no matter what.”
She did not have to wait long. The same drone from before strode in carrying what looked like a worn out journal. Why did this raggedy old thing need her attention? She had bigger issues to solve such as the saving of her swarm. She cringed as the pain of losing a few more drones reached her.
The book was placed at her hooves and the guards left per their instructions. She picked it up with her magic and flipped it open; the title on the front was too faded to read so she didn’t bother deciphering it. However, the first page, a description of the journal’s, for that was in fact what it was, contents was perfectly legible.
To whomever it may concern, this is the journal of Unstable Vial, former unicorn researcher of the Canterlot Academy Magic Discovery Team, CAM-DT for short.
What you are about to read is a collection of projects that I have undergone in secret. Of course, that is why I got kicked off of the team. Apparently, nopony is supposed to conduct unauthorized research, no matter how beneficial it may be to Equestria. Bah, fools, I still continued even after they removed me.
Back to the matter at hoof. These are personal notes to be taken SERIOUSLY, yes you snobs I know you’re reading this and thinking I was crazy. Some spells contained in this notebook may not be on par with your level of magic so please read the warnings provided with each spell. I am not responsible for maiming, disjunction of body parts, or the removal of your small intestine.
So without further ado, the personal notes of the soon to be great and esteemed ‘Doctor’ Unstable Vial!
Chrysalis stared at the page in wonderment, and here she thought that all ponies were sane. She turned the page of the notebook to find the table of contents. She didn’t care for this; she was going to peruse every spell anyways. Anything that seemed it could remotely help her she would try it.
A spell to create tons of sugary sustenance.
This spell was somewhat difficult due to the fact that every time I summoned the food it would be deformed in some way or another. That coupled with the disappearance of my testing results made for hard goings.
This spell was actually inspired by a hyper pink mare that ‘accidentally’ found her way into the lab. She kept on rambling about parties and whatnot so I decided, ‘Why not make it easier on her!’ So the cake spell was born.
Other than for parties this really has no practical uses though and I quickly filed this spell away when I found out that a certain sun goddess was trying to exploit it.
Chrysalis let out a rare giggle. “I knew it! I knew that Princess’ plot was too big for her body! And to think that her obsession with cake is what did it!” She giggled again and turned more pages.
Another spell stuck out to her.
A spell for spying on another pony
This spell was especially hard to keep a secret because a unicorn could sense the signature the caster gave off if that was whom you were spying on.
The caster needs to be of exceptional magic level to perform this spell, as it requires extreme focus. I have found more often than not that some of my subjects have been in most... compromising situations and have burst out laughing, losing my concentration. Needless to say I have stopped filling in the holes in the stone floors and walls.
This spell might be interesting just for fun. She read over the details quickly, skipping over warnings and such. She was the queen of the entire changeling race. Not many beings passed her in skill with magic.
She prepared the spell and cast it. A shimmering oval appeared. The picture slowly fizzled into clarity and her target was visualized.
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Immediately Princess Celestia knew something was up. There was that odd feeling every unicorn got when they were being spied upon. She stopped playing with the bubbles in her bathtub and prepared a counter spell. Just before she cast it however she felt the spell shatter. She glanced uneasily from side to side, shrugged, and then went back to her bath.
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Queen Chrysalis couldn’t contain her laughter any longer, seeing the Sun Goddess playing in her bathtub had been too much. The spell collapsed spectacularly and if Chrysalis hadn’t instinctively shielded herself she might have been harmed.
Her guards, of course, didn’t enter, per her instructions. She was glad for the privacy and gave a small snicker once more at the memory of Celestia in her bathroom. She flipped through the book again, skimming past other spells that showed no promise for her situation.
She barely noticed the title on a page as she flipped past. Quickly skimming back to it she read the contents of the page.
A spell for Interdimensional planetary teleportation.
WARNING: This is an extreme spell that should NEVER be used by anypony other than the Princesses, or myself of course. Feel free to look into it and dream of how awesome it would be if you actually could perform this spell.
This spell teleports the user, or if the spell is modified to do so, target ponies to another world. Not another planet, another world; another dimension with entirely different rules and species. How I managed to create the spell is of no consequence to you the reader. Just know that a number of guards at the royal vault made a pretty penny last night.
When alone with Princess Celestia I presented this spell as a means to ‘banish’ ponies instead of simply sending them to the Moon. Of course she was thick skulled and destroyed the spell as soon as she finished reading it. She then had the gall to forbid me; ME! The greatest researcher of ponykind! From ever doing anything like this sort ever again. Good thing I always keep a spare copy of my notes whenever I create a working spell.
So without further ado here are the details on how to perform this complicated spell. Please note that the target planet will contain intelligent life. After several attempts I always ended up on a planet with some sentient beings. So if the Princesses should try this spell (which I highly doubt) be warned that said inhabitants might be hostile.
Queen Chrysalis gasped. This might be what she had been looking for! By going to another planet her drones might be able to capture one of the inhabitants to bring back. They would be subjected to the usual methods of love draining and her swarm would finally be able to get back onto its hooves. Once again she ignored the warnings and scanned the details of the spell. However one warning stood out to her.
WARNING: No matter how many times I’ve tried to fix this I have never been able to stay in the other dimension for more than 6 hours EST. If the caster is performing a spell when this time limit expires it might result in catastrophic disaster.
Hmm. that might be a problem come time when I cast this. Bah, no worries this is a foalproof plan. Soon my hive will have all the love it needs and I can get revenge on those pathetic ponies. She mused.
She closed the journal, her mind set on performing the spell that would save her race. “Guards,” Said changelings strode in and bowed. “Bring to me four soldiers of the awareness class.” They bowed and hurried out to perform the bidding of their queen.
She sat back upon her throne and took the book in her magic again. This thing, no matter how weird it can be in some places, must not be found by anypony. Her horn glowed a bright green and the book seemed to go intangible for a moment. She cringed again as she felt the death of several more changelings reach her. With the book still partially transparent she slipped it into her throne. There, nopony shall ever find it there, and if everything goes well it will probably not stay there either. She paused and chuckled to herself. Why am I saying if? Of course this will work, it will work because it is MY plan.
Her thoughts were interrupted as the double doors swung open once more and four changelings strode in confidently. “Your majesty.” they all said curtly, bowing deeply.
“You four have been chosen for a special mission. A mission that will save our hive from destruction.” The changelings stood a little taller at this, but otherwise made no indication of the pride they felt. “There will be danger involved but that is of no consequence to one of my subjects. I will perform a spell on you and you will be transported to another world.” Quizzical looks were shown at the mention of this. “You need not know how I came across information on how to go about this. You only need to know that I want you to go to this planet and find four suitable inhabitants to drain the love from. If you succeed you will be given great rewards and honor among the swarm.” She looked each dead in the eye before continuing. “Do you accept this mission from your Queen?” She knew they had no choice in the matter but it made her pride swell to hear them volunteer themselves.
“Yes my Queen. We will gladly serve you in this great endeavor! When shall we depart for this other world?” All four answered proudly. Their minds focused on the glory and honor that would come with protecting and saving their hive.
Chrysalis gave a not so rare evil grin. Soon she would have the love that the hive needed. Soon.
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A day later the four changelings strode in, prepared to make the journey to the foreign world. Queen Chrysalis had needed time to prepare her spell properly, the book detailed, and also warned (which she ignored) about the procedure. She watched them take position in the chalk circle that she had carefully drawn out a few minutes before. she walked up to the circle when they had positioned themselves inside.
Each of the changelings had carefully examined the circle and how it was drawn so they would be able to replicate it and bring the aliens with them. When they were situated they nodded to their queen who lit her horn with a bright green fire. She carefully touched four circles that were drawn at points around the intricate circle. At her touch each circle lit up with a dim glow, spreading to the other lines around it. Soon the entire figure was aglow with dim green light.
“Farewell my subjects, bring me back prime test subjects.” She then added a little more forcefully, “or I will make you suffer.” Each nodded unperturbed by the threat.
Chrysalis took a step back and checked the circle over again, her horn still glowing. Satisfied with how everything was proceeding she channeled more magic into her horn. More drones died as the life was sucked out of them to finish the spell but she did not care. A few would die for the sake of her revenge, that was a small price to pay for the prize that she would gain.
She watched as the circle’s light grew brighter and looked in interest as it started dissapearing, starting at the four points she had lit up before. Soon it reached her soldiers and then they too disappeared, leaving no mark to ever show that they had existed. Hmm, the spell sure makes cleanup easier.
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The four soldiers watched in earnest as they disappeared. Their trust in their Queen overriding any fear they might have at watching their own bodies disappear.
They felt the tugging sensation like any normal teleportation spell. This was a little different however. Instead of being painless, it felt like somepony was trying to rip their limbs off.
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Changeling: Quicksilver
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Quicksilver found himself in what seemed like a large forest of some kind. He looked around. The other changelings, Mirror Image, Night Fury, and Unseen One, were nowhere to be seen. He frowned, I thought Chrysalis said that she had perfected this spell. Oh well, might as well continue with the mission. He didn’t know how he would complete it given the time frame though. He was essentially the leader if you wanted to look at it professionally, so he was in charge of making sure the circle was drawn correctly. They had practiced for 17 hours back at the hive and had barely managed to do it in under 5 hours.
It’s all those bucking lines and circles. Why couldn’t she have made the design simpler? Oh well best do with what I’ve got rather than pout about what I haven’t. He looked around once more, trying to get a bearing on his surroundings. It seems that I am in a forest of sorts, I do not know what season it is, or if this planet even has seasons. I should fly up to see if I can make out any sort of civilization. Hopefully whatever species this is hasn’t made much progress; it would be much easier that way.
He spread his gossamer wings and flew above the trees. Landing on a particularly high branch from which he could look around. Off in the distance he could make out buildings of a sort. It looked like they had been made of wood. Good they are still building homes out of wood, should be as easy as those ponies were. He landed on the ground and strode off in the direction of the village.
After a short walk he heard the crunching of leaves in the distance. He quickly hid behind a tree, only poking a single eye out to see what had arrived.
It stood on two legs, had two appendages hanging off it’s body. A small mane stuck out on top of what he assumed was it’s head. It’s eyes were pathetically small. It probably can’t even see well in the dark. What a pathetic species. It had some kind of loose garments on it, similar to clothing that ponies wore. Hmm, well I wonder if this is a sentient creature. If it is, then it has just made my day. A capture this quick? Ha, I bet that not even Night Fury found his this fast.
His ears perked up as he heard the familiar language of Equis reach them. “...people these days. How do they even stand each other. Every. Single. Day. It’s either, ‘Buy this,’ or ‘Did you hear about?’” It moved the odd things at the end of it’s top appendages in a way that looked like a griffon strangling somthing. “Sometimes I wish I could just strangle them so words would no longer flow!” It sighed. Perfect, it has emotions, I don’t know if this one could have the capability of love but since we are pressed for time it will have to do. It continued its rant. “But alas society frowns upon murder. If only this was the stone age...”
Quicksilver looked again and saw the thing almost upon him. Thinking fast he quickly jumped out and on top of the creature. “Now, I want you to stay still, this will be much more simple if you don’t fight me.” Quicksilver smiled, things were going according to plan. Or they were until the thing punched him with one of its paws.
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Changeling: Night Fury
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Night Fury found himself on cold hard ground in a dark hallway open to the air. He was surrounded by bricks of some sort. Bah, that spell went wrong, just as I completely expected it to. Oh well better hurry and capture a creature, wouldn’t do to find it after everyone else. He strode confidently out into the open. A scream to his right attracted his attention. He saw a creature, probably an inhabitant of the planet. He put a hoof to his ears; the scream was high pitched and hurt his eardrums severely. By Chrysalis how loud are these things? It hadn’t stopped screaming and had run away while he was stunned by the encounter. Buck! How could I have messed up so badly? Hmmph, maybe I need to blend in? He looked around and saw more things staring at him with shock. He found a more slender one, or so it looked like. Hmm, that one looks like it is better than the others.
He opened his wings and took off, flying above the buildings. The screams and gasps faded as he flew away. Whatever creatures these were, they were particularly annoying. I have to get away from the more populated areas in order to find one that I can knock unconscious or something.
Night Fury landed in another one of the dark open hallways a good 5 minute flight away from his previous encounter. It doesn’t matter anyways, I only have an hour to capture one of these creatures, I won't be here long enough for anything to come of it.
Remembering the form of the tall creature he shifted his form into it. He looked down at his appendages and wiggled the small claws that were attached to them. How odd, they have appendages like that of the forelegs of a griffon, what a weird species. No matter, off to claim my prize!
He tried walking forward but only landed on his face. How in Tartarus do these things move around? He ‘stood’ back up and tried again, this time putting all his weight on one ‘leg’ while moving the other forward, leaning a little bit to compensate for movement. Ha! If any changeling can adapt this quickly to a foreign body, it is me!
In a deeper part of the hallway Night Fury spotted a small item. He walked over and picked it up carefully, wary that this world might have more dangerous items. Having picked it up he saw that it was a container of sorts. Further inspection showed that it contained currency of some sort. Must be what the creatures use as money. Ha, whoever thought of using paper as money!? How stupid. After pulling some of the ‘money’ out he found that he had acquired a decent sum of it, if the amount of paper was to be believed. You know, I might not have to use brute force to capture one; how disappointing.
Once again he left the darkness of the pathway and made his way into the creatures’ world. I bet I'll find one right off the bat, let’s see if any of the others have as much luck as I do!.
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WHY CAN’T I FIND ONE BUCKING CREATURE THAT IS ALONE! Night Fury mentally screamed. His facial expression twitched as he saw yet another pair of creatures. For half an hour it had been creature after creature, he could never find one alone. There was always one within sight and/or hearing distance.
He looked down at his paws and clenched them into fists. If I get my hooves on one of them I might not be able to contain my rage long enough to transport it if this continues.
Something caught his eye. It was one on a contraption of sorts, it seemed too preoccupied with something to notice him. This might be the one! He looked around quickly before ducking into another long dark place. Good no others, this’ll be like taking candy from a foal.
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Changeling: Unseen One
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Unseen One found herself stranded on top of what seemed like solid rock, except the sky was open to her. Obviously the spell had failed and she was now out in the open, the comprising open. Quickly darting across the top she found a ledge that led to a small forest below. I need to find a place to hide, to observe, to figure out who my target will be. It is obvious I will receive no help from my comrades so I must be careful with my actions.
Her black carapace blended perfectly with the shade the trees created. Her lithe body moved in and out of different shadows, watching for signs of inhabitants, hostile or not.
A small chittering creature crossed her path. Is this the creatures of this planet? “Who are you?” She whispered quietly. The creature merely looked at her curiously before scampering away. Obviously that is not a sentient creature; it held no soul.
She continued on always watching for some signs of sentient life. Soon a bipedal creature crossed her path. It was at least 3 hooves taller than her and had a small mane on top of it’s head. It had a smile on and was holding paws with another beside it. This one had a longer mane and more soft feminine features. She wondered if the species had both male and female counterparts like Equines. She examined their movements as they passed by, noting how they walked and that they apparently spoke Prench. She had no care for the language as she was not one of the ‘Lucky’ ones to go to Prance.
This is unfortunate, I will have to lure one to me and render it unable to escape by some other means. Another few minutes passed and no other creatures had shown up. Obviously my ambush has been set in the wrong place.
She looked around for anything that might resemble civilization or a town of some sort. Not far away between a patch of trees she saw what looked like a building from Canterlot or Manehattan. It was bricks that much was for sure, and the windows seemed to be made out of the same substance, glass, as the windows in Equestria. Can’t complain if I’m dealt a more familiar situation. It certainly helps with my predicament. She sneaked quietly through the shadows once more and found a long tunnel. At the end was a long black piece of rock. What this was for she did not know, and she did not care.
She looked to the right and saw what appeared to be, again, very similar to a door. She looked around and again saw none of the creatures near her. There were some off in the distance but it would be much easier to capture one in the safety of privacy. Looking around once more she checked to make sure nopony saw her.
She went to knock on the door but saw a button on the side. Maybe this is a summoning device? Wary of traps she pushed it with her hoof.
She flinched as a chime was heard and moved to the side to avoid anything like trap doors or falling objects. She was surprised when a creature answered the chime. So it was a summoning device. Good, better slip in while it’s distracted. She melted into the shadows and slipped through the creature's legs, making her way through the home.
“Je ne sais pas qui t’est l’osti de con, mais ne t’avise pas de recommencer sinon je vais t’en crisser un tabarnak entre les deux yeux!” This one is Prench as well? By Chrysalis, that will make communication impossible. Not to mention it’s probably snooty like all Prench ponies. She had met one once, she barely avoided strangling the pony. Hopefully this encounter will end a little better than that.
Most likely the creature was busy with something, what looks like it has been used recently? She walked up stairs, pausing when she saw a door open a crack. This has been used, time to set my ambush.
When she entered the room a large wooden shelf like thing stood off to the side. Perfect. She jumped up to the top and crouched down, waiting for the arrival of her prey.
What she didn’t notice was a green shape staring intently at her from across the room.
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Changeling: Mirror Image
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Mirror Image found himself in the middle of a long passway. He barely had time to get a look at his surroundings before a large metal object sped towards him. He calculated that he would not have time to avoid it by simply jumping to the side so he flattened himself against the ground, letting the object roll over him.
However, instead of continuing on it stopped with it’s middle over him, preventing an easy escape. “What was that?!” A voice shouted. Hoof-like appendages showed up in his peripherals. Another thumping sound vibrated from his right. “I don’t know, it didn’t look like any animal I’ve ever seen!” I cannot be seen, this would endanger the entire mission. If the others are nearby their cover would be blown. What looked similar to knees touched the ground as he slid himself from underneath the metal object.
He beat a hasty escape as more and more creatures focused upon the stopped object. Some shifted their view to him as he flew away but most ignored him.
Mirror landed on what he assumed to be the roof of a house. I need to plan my encounters much better than that if I am to succeed in my mission.
He looked over the town, for that is what he assumed it to be. These creatures are bipedal, extremely curious yet wary of their own kind. It will be tough to convince one to come with me alone, let alone have enough time to transport one to my fellow comrades for extraction. More likely than not I will have to find one that is alone already and have to render it unconscious or something. He cringed at the thought of harming the creature. Queen Chrysalis will kill me if she sees the creature harmed. He blinked, What am I thinking? I know plenty of ways to incapacitate ponies without leaving marks, it is my job as team analyzer to plan out everything.
With his plan formulated he looked over the passway again, searching for a suitable creature to disguise as. He spotted a more fit looking one. That one looks perfect for combat should I have to resort to it, yet still blends in. His form burst into green flames as he grew in size. He looked down at what he assumed to be like griffon paws, clenching them into fists. Hmm, this should be an interesting experience.
After climbing down from his position on the roof he carefully navigated the populace searching for a proper subject to capture. Unfortunately there was always something wrong with the creatures he found. That one does not look fit enough to survive the transportation. Egh, that one smells... like extra strong cider. These things seem so sociable, I need to find one that isn’t so much.
“Hey you **** kid! Get off my lawn!” He watched what looked like an older creature wave a stick at a younger creature, yelling. The young one seemed to understand the warning and quickly galloped away. It seems that these creatures respect their personal privacy to a point that they are hostile. He thought back to the older one. Nah he is too old to be of use, the Queen want’s a creature that can last for long periods of time. Finding no other thing to do besides continue his search he did so.
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After half an hour’s walk he had still not found a suitable subject that fit his requirements. Sure some came close but no creature had quite met his expectations of ‘The perfect subject’. He looked to the side, watching the houses, checking for signs of life. Some had multiple lights on. Others had none at all. When he had found one that did have only one light on... I’ve never seen bucking done like that...
His planned 45 minutes was almost up. If he broke schedule the entire thing would be thrown off schedule. I will not compromise my own perfect schedule, that is UNACCEPTABLE! He tripped, having walked into a yard while consumed by his thoughts. How careless of me...
He stood back up and checked his surroundings, his head stopped at the sight of a younger creature standing on a wooden extension to its home. It took something out of its ears and called out to him. “Um hello?”
His expression remained stone faced. It seems like this is the best I will be able to get given the time frame. Oh well.
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Mathias Duquet
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I ran around my house, grabbing things out of my shelves and closet and placing them in a sport bag. “Calisse de crisse de TABARNAK”, my run spiced with some curse words from my native tongue directed toward my not-working alarm clock. The fear in my eyes was clearly apparent. The only thought I had was to arrive to work at time.
I grabbed my cleanest black suit, the golden arches picture showing where I work and my little dolphin necklace with a sapphire stone attached. Who said that while going to McDonalds you couldn’t be classy? I thought. I looked to see if it was good looking enough to wear or would I need to iron the shirt. Seeing that everything was okay, I grabbed my McCap my name tag and my water bottle, shoved them in my bag and clipped it to my back. Wait, did I removed what was in my bag? I let that thought go away, anyway, it was too late.
I looked at the oven clock and saw that I had 10 minutes before my shift would start. I knew that it took at least 20 minutes to get there with my bicycle. I sighed, hoping my boss would go easy on me. I looked to see if I missed anything before leaving. I grabbed my wallet, seeing that it was missing from my pocket and went outside.
I came down my apartment stairs and went to where all the building occupants’ bicycles were stashed. I looked at mine, which was the only one locked with a chain. I was always superstitious about other people touching my stuff; I always had a way to keep my stuff away from others.
I unlocked the chain with the four-number code lock and arranged the chain around my bike frame to use it later. I jumped on it, put my headphones in my ears and put on some music from my country. I quickly rolled away from my home, thinking that it was going to be another boring day at work.
I was rolling at a steady pace, enjoying the sweet sound of french music coming straight from Quebec. Bobbing my head, I sang the rapping of my people. What I didn’t see, however, was the tall man who was few centimeters in front of me. Even if he was at least a head taller than me, the fact that he came from the side, behind the buildings was not helping. Unluckily, I was too occupied listening to music that I didn’t see him before crashing into his legs. Well damn, I never thought my mother would actually be right about me crashing because of music...
I fell on my side, my body hitting a rock. The pain was small, but enough to make me cringe. The man who barely staggered from the hit walked toward me, almost looking unsure of his actions. He showed me his hand, helping me to stand up. I smiled, seeing that at least some people were not evil in this world.
I removed the dust off my shirt and got back on my bike. “Look mister, I’m really sorry, but I need to get to work.” I said before pedalling. The man, however, placed himself in the way, forcing me to stop.
“Hmph, running off without letting a pony fix what he has broken, how rude.” He said simply. Normally, I would be cautious of strangers, but his motive looked right and he didn’t seem to be the physical type. Sadly, I had...responsibilities.
“A...pony?” I shook my head. “Anyway, I really got to go. I have work and I’m already late so... I got to go.” I said to the man. I was about to jump back on my bike again, but the man shook his head. He took out his wallet and gave me a 100$. I stared at the man with my mouth agape.
“Is this enough for you to allow me to recompense you for my error?” He showed a faint smirk. I took the piece of plastic and looked at it. Well, if he really wants to, I could see that new Monster Inc. movie people keep talking about. I thought.
“I could indeed do that.” I said while pulling my phone out of my pocket. The man backed off when he saw my Samsung, but I shrugged it off. I typed the number of the McDonalds and listened to the classical ~beep~ of it. A few seconds later, I was talking with one of my bosses. After telling him that I was sick and had to stay home, lying a bit on the way, I finally had the day off. I knew that irresponsible, but I also knew that the man wouldn’t let me go if I didn’t come with him to the cinema.
I placed the device back in my pocket, much to the stranger’s delight, and enlightened him of the situation. It was surprising to see his confusion at the mention of a cell phone. I decided to just leave him be. If he was paying for the cinema, I wouldn’t be the one to complain.
“Well okay, I’m just going to my house to place my bag back then we’ll be going to the cinema!” I said while turning my bike. The moment I turned my back on the stranger, however, he quickly moved near me in one swift move. In one hit behind my neck, I fell into unconsciousness, hearing a faint laugh in the distance. Oh yeah, because that Hedley song wasn’t enough to make me realise “DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS”.
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Daniel Picard
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'… only to be surprised by the scene before my eyes; I wasn't in my room. Oh Luna, what prank...' The sound of my doorbell interrupted my thought train as I started to work on the next chapter of my story on FIMFiction. Whoever it was, it had better be important. I passed the whole week debugging the same ostie de bug in the code at work. To say I was in a bad mood at the moment was a major understatement. Even my peach-faced lovebird knew better than bother me at the moment. Then again, I might be lucky. It could be one of my old schoolmates.
As I progressed towards the door of my little three and half appartment in Montréal, my bird Dodo perched itself on my shoulder. Though, instead of snuggling behind my neck like usual, he seemed to be awfully interested by the door. Oh well, I might just be too boring to him at the moment.
In any case, I soon reached the door and looked through the blinds, only for my eyes to be met with an awful lot of nothing. Really?! Who was l’ostie de tabarnak who thought it would be a good joke to bother me? I decided to look outside, just in case I could see the person responsible was still nearby so I could tell him what I think of his stupid joke. At least I did not have to worry about my bird getting away as he prefered to stay with me anyway. You gotta love lovebirds for that.
I quickly opened my door and step out intending to spot the culprit. Fortunately for him, I spotted no one as I scanned the area. To make things even worse, my bird had been moving constantly ever since I stepped outside. I decided to let out my frustration just in case the idiot was still in earshot, “Je ne sais pas qui t’est l’osti de con, mais ne t’avise pas de recommencer sinon je vais t’en crisser un tabarnak entre les deux yeux!” [I don’t know who you are fucking idiot, but don’t you dare to do it again, I’m going to hit you very hard between your eyes!]
With that done, I returned in my home, closing and locking the door behind me. As I neared my room, Dodo started to make some strident noises while stretching his wings, as if he tried to scare someone. His strange behavior stopped me in my tracks just outside my room, especially considering that there was nothing out of place. What could make him act like this?
I did not have to wait for long as a black mass suddenly appeared in my field of view and a green bullet flew toward it. Luckily for me, it was one of those rare times where my reflexes were quick to kick in, allowing me to easily sidestep from the black thing and have a good look at it. I had my share of weird things in the past, but this took the cake. I must have critically failed a knowledge roll, because I was seeing a shapeshifter. Of course, it wasn’t a normal, realistic one (well, as normal a magical being that changes form could be) but it came from a cartoon. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to be specific... Great... I’ve got a changeling in my home, this day couldn’t get any worse now... Considering that they needed the numerical superiority to even stand a chance against the Mane 6, how hard could a single one be to beat? It will make a great punching bag.
Using the distraction provided by my bird (Go for eyes Dodo, go for the eyes!), I decided to do something I always wanted to do; I took a swing and threw a punch at it screaming “Falcon Punch!” Yes, Captain Falcon is one of my favorite characters in Smash, got a problem with that? Besides, this is probably one of the rare times that I would actually get to punch something without much punishment.
Grr... This was an epic fail on my part. Do you know what is the main difference between humans and ponies? Ponies have hooves! You know the hard thing at the end of their legs. In comparison, humans have marshmallows for hands. Oh, and changeling skin is actually an armor made of chitin. Needless to say, I hurt my hand. Badly. I totally did not scream when my fist came in contact with the cartoon character.
“Wow you’re loud! And here I thought you were a male of the species!” Wow, is it speaking english!? And people thought that it was unoriginal to use that idea in fics. How wrong were they; I only wish that I had not learned that first hand... Also, didn’t its voice sound awfully feminine? More importantly, did she actually just make fun of my masculinity? Apparently it was an interplanetary insult, but it was rather tame and unoriginal compared to what I have heard back while I was still in High School almost 10 years ago.
Once she had shouted her pathetic insult, the bug finally managed to hit my bird with one of her Swiss cheese hooves and knock him down. I hoped it didn’t kill him or I might have to get original later on once I was done with her. In any cases, I did need to find another way to deal with the black nuisance in front of me. Insecticide? Where did I leave my can of Raid again?
I didn’t have the time to plan much more as the changeling horn started to glow a green color and my hands were quickly bound together with an energy rope of the same color. There goes the possibility of hitting her horn with a punch to interrupt her magic. Unfortunately, a round kick was also out of the question as I wasn’t anywhere near Chuck Norris level, not that anyone could be. That, and the fact that the rope wasted no time to tie down my feet so I was hog-tied on the ground. “By Chrysalis you’re a feisty one. But there, you're all tied up. Now I just have to figure out how to get you to the meeting place.”
My day was just getting better and better... At least, that little action allowed me to vent most of my earlier frustration. I’ll admit that my attempt to fight Bugs Bunny’s friend head on was probably the most stupid idea I had; I was an intellectual person, not a fighter. Unfortunately for the bug, I might be bound, but that did not mean I couldn’t try to frustrate her with some good nonsense. I’ll blame that on watching too many episodes of Stargate SG1, but you have to love O’neill, “Don’t you think that you are done yet, the Asgards have the means to track me anywhere in the Milky Way. You are so going to be fucked once they unleash the Replicators on you!”
I’ll admit that I never expected her to react so strongly to my trolling; her magic had temporarily stopped working, leaving me free for a second. “Bah, foal’s tales, your kind could not possibly have succeeded in traveling to the stars, that’s impossible.”
Eh. So much for a great infiltrator race. Coupled with her reaction, she might as well just have told me that she forgot to take the human 101 course. And if she captured me to extract information, I hoped that she liked being largely misdirected, because this is all she’ll get from me. Besides, I could not let her underplay one of humanity's greatest achievements, “Tell that to the mirrors and the flag on the Moon. Besides, we use a circular device called a Stargate to travel through space. It is much safer, when black holes aren’t involved.”
“Look, just shut up so I can tie you up, maybe you’ll get lucky and instead of having the love sucked out of you, you’ll be Queen Chrysalis’ court jester. Liven up the hive a bit.” That one was both a great source of fun and information apparently. But seriously? Trying to suck love out of humans? Not that it couldn’t work, but, let's be honest, if the ponies where the changeling came from are anything like the show, it was much safer dealing with them than humans. If they had ponies. Pissing off a race that was no stranger to war was just the most stupid thing one could think of. I wonder if the ignorance about human nature was widespread among them.
There was still one thing that bothered me on what she last said. Seriously, jester? She obviously didn’t understand the finer points of trolling. I started to mutter another great line, because, let's be honest, who obeys their kidnapper when they don’t make any threats? “Right, and I’ll make some cupcakes...” I was cut off by my pillow case encasing my mouth, cutting of all noise.
“I thought I told you to shut up. Oh no, if all you creatures are like this then all we’re going to get from Night Fury is a corpse!” And goal! She was a much too easy target. Did she just tell me that I wasn’t their only target, the name of one of her camarade and confirmed that the ignorance about humans didn’t stop at her? This almost felt like one of those spy movies.
After a moment standing perfectly still, the female changeling opened her mouth again, “Well there is our meeting place. Prepare yourself creature.” Eh, prepare myself for wh-
I did not have time to complete my thought as my world was engulfed in green light.
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Scott Fletcher
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“No, you damn assassin! I didn’t tell you to jump off the building!” But alas, I can only watch as Ezio jumps off of the building and to his death. I groan loudly in frustration, as that had been my third attempt to scale the structure, only for my controller to misinterpret my commands and let Ezio jump into the sweet embrace of death.
I drop the controller to the table, getting up to change games to one of my favorites; Halo. However, once I stand up, I feel the need to listen to music for a bit, so I can calm down for one of the best games in history! Of course, that’s just me being biased, but oh well.
I pick up my CD book and flip through each of the games, placing Assassin’s Creed Revelations back into its slot, and selecting Halo 3 for later. You know? No matter how many new Halo games they make, they can never quite replicate the love I felt for Halo 3 and 2.
However, one does not simply play their favorite game when mad. And so, I grab my iPod, and switch to one of my favorite songs to listen to when rather pissed off and begin listening to it as I take my walk. As the angry lyrics to Black Dahlia filter in, I don’t hear the barking of my dog. But just as I step off of the old rickety porch, I see a man. Yeah, I know, great description, right? But seriously, there was close to nothing truly interesting about him.
I pause my music, making to go ask who he is and why he’s on my family’s property. Once I realize my dog is barking though, I see that she is in fact barking at this strange man. After grabbing her and taking her inside, I walk up to the man, seeing that while he was only a bit smaller than myself, his intimidation factor was balanced by his cold, calculating eyes.
“Um, hello,” I say, watching him cautiously. Now, I’m not one to trust strangers easily, but this one took it to a whole new level.
“You are to come with me, creature.” I’m surprised, not just by the fact that his voice is monotone and hard as rock, but by the fact that he calls me a creature, almost as though he is not human.
“And what if I say no?” There, simple and quick to the point. That oughta give this guy the message that I want him gone, and that I’m not leaving with him.
“Then I’ll force you.” Suddenly, his form is enveloped by a flash of green flames. I jump back in surprise, obviously not expecting the guy to spontaneously combust. But instead of finding a pile of ash, I find myself. As in, literally myself.
However, this version of me is about an inch taller, more toned in the muscles, and much colder eyes. But that’s not what’s bothering me. Where had I seen those green flames before? There was only one way this could have been possible and that’s...oh no.
“You’re a changeling, aren’t you?” Instead of a verbal response, I get punched in the face. I stumble backwards a bit, holding my nose in pain. “No questions, you will come with me or I will force you.” Well, answers that question then. I straighten my posture again, bringing my fists up as well.
I jump forward, determined to find his fighting style. Unfortunately, I find it to be almost the exact same as mine; grab someone by their appendages and bend until they submit. After several times of having my arm twisted and barely managing to escape, I come to realize something else. This changeling has improved upon my own fighting style.
There is no wasted move. Every punch, kick, and head butt is logical and meant to target small points upon my body. Specifically my weak points.
If I grab his forearm, he twists towards my thumb to break out of it. If I try to sneak behind him to put him in a strangle hold, he elbows me in the stomach, forcing me to let go. Another disadvantage I find is size. While he is a bit bigger than me, and obviously heavier, he seems to be quicker. Every punch is easily parried, and every kick is blocked like it’s nothing.
I jump forward one more time, confident that I can drive him away if I at least wound him. That is, until he grabs my shoulder and I feel something painful flood my system. “Feeble attempts at best. Submit.” It feels like my guts were roasted within my body, then tossed into a fire. I can hear my dog whining and scratching at the door trying to get out and help me. Out of the corner of my eye I see a black figure grab a hold of me with its front hooves, and then feel a tugging sensation. I black out about five seconds later.
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James Buck
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God ******! Why does everyone have to be such idiots now a days? The only smart people are the supposed ‘Dumb kids’ online. I punt a rock down the street on my way to my favourite spot. It was a small clearing in the woods near my small town. I went there to cool down so I didn’t end the day in jail for attempted murder, or worse.
Another rock went sailing off into the distance as I vented more of my anger. Today it had been some stupid kid who had asked the wrong question. Yesterday it had been a pushy lady who pushed a BIT too far; when would he ever get a break from all the idiots of the world? I ALMOST wish that something would just come and randomly transport me to some far off planet. I can think of only a few situations that would be worse than what I’m in right now.
I shuddered. One in particular stood out from the rest. A technicolor show called ‘My Little Pony’ had been rampaging on the Internet as of late. It had consumed some of my internet friends already. I would never be a part of ‘The herd’ but on the same plane I will never be an ‘Anti Brony’. Personally both sides were too caught up in their beliefs to see that both were ruining the Internet with their arguments, putting us poor unaffiliated souls in the middle of it all. I reached the outer portion of the woods and saw a small red streak on a nearby tree. Once again I had gauged the direction perfectly to run right into my marked trail.
I started walking, the outdoor air flushing the stink of ‘civilization’ from my nostrils. I heard the crunch of leaves underfoot and the shaking of branches in the wind. It was all very calming, and quite frankly, the reason why I took so many walks out here.
I continued walking, letting the cool air dull my anger and emotions. I wish i could be out in nature more often than I am. It doesn’t yell or scream. It doesn’t murder, steal, or lie. It just sits there and calms you.
Not long after, I had found my clearing. It was barely 7 feet in diameter and was ringed by tall trees. However it had a perfect view of the sky, a view that I heartily enjoyed during the nighttime hours. I lay back on the ground, wishing that I could lay there for hours. Unfortunately I had a job to do and my break only lasted for half an hour.
I gave a sigh, more disappointed than angry at this point. I managed to clamber to my feet and start back in the direction of the town which was all but a prison to me.
I walked past the same exact trees, the same exact red marks. Yet something seemed... off. I dismissed it, seeing as how I had enough on my mind, like door to door salesmen. I swear those people knock on only MY door. “Why can’t they be like normal people and get a REAL job? I mean, what are they teaching people these days. How do they even stand each other? Every. Single. Day. It’s either, ‘Buy this,’ or ‘Did you hear about?’” I moved my hands, pretending one of the hateful people was between them. “Sometimes I wish I could just strangle them so words would no longer flow!” I sighed why am I getting all worked up, the whole reason for coming up here was to cool down.. “But alas society frowns upon murder. If only this was the stone age...” I continued, leaving off when I sensed movement.
A black creature suddenly appeared from around the next tree and pounced me. “Now, I want you to stay still, this will be much more simple if you don’t fight me.” Fat chance at that! Weird dog thing!
It smiled deviously, just in time for it to catch my fist on its cheek. It flew back a few feet from the blow, I wasn’t exactly just average muscle type. After a moment the pain in my knuckles finally registered. “HOLY **** MOTHER ****** HOT ****EDY **** THAT HURT!” I watched it get up, still holding my hand in pain. I wiped what looked like a hoof across it’s face. Its smile gone, it frowned slightly.
“I’ve gotten worse hits from baby foals, you’re no match for me.” Oh so you want a challenge eh? Alright.
I waited until he got a little closer before lashing out with my foot. He rolled with the kick, fully expecting me to double over in pain again. However due to recent events (*** holes running over my foot with bikes and such; ****s) I had started wearing steel toed boots. So instead of rubber coated flesh, the monster got metal going at about 10 miles per hour through it’s side.
A grunt escaped it as it flew into a tree. I looked down and saw that it had dented the metal on the boot. **** that guy has some pretty strong skin. My toes felt numb from impact but I ignored it. This thing insulted me, and right now I needed a punching bag. “You know these walks are supposed to help me calm down, but beating up on something that pisses me off helps as well.”
It cocked its head at me. “You’re a ferocious bunch of creatures. Oh well, I had hoped to not use magic.” It’s holed horn glowed to life and I felt myself leave the ground.
I watched as he moved forward, carrying me in this ‘magic’. “Let me go ****it!”
He smirked. “No can do, my Queen needs subjects to drain love from. You happened to be one that was selected.
I crossed my arms, pretending to pout in hopes that he would drop me for another fight. “You know this wasn’t fair. I can’t escape this. Therefore you have not proven yourself superior.”
He continued walking, oblivious to the fact that i had just insulted him. “That’s nice.”
I gave a long sigh, this day was NOT going to end well...
That Time I Wish I Was Alone
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James BuckV^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^VI looked around my trail, the weird black dog thing was carrying me away from town, which in different circumstances, I wouldn’t have minded. However considering it was KIDNAPPING ME, this was a bad thing.“Creature, I’m guessing it would be too much to ask for you to tell me a secluded open place in the general area?” The creature asked me with an all too serious voice. I gave him a ‘Are you ****ing kidding me?’ look.But, being the idiot I am, I decided to play along. “Depends, what are you going to do with me?” He returned the look and stayed silent. Fine, be that way, just like every other accursed person on this planet! Eventually I noticed that he was walking my path, following the little red marks I had so carefully hidden on the trees to prevent ‘visitors’. Maybe he didn’t notice?“So what are these little red lines on the plants?” Well... s***“Well I got bored and decided to draw on trees like some stupid four years old.” Ha, let him have some of humanities good ole fashioned crude humor! He turned and looked at me; his poker face rivaling those that I could make.“Getting smart with me does not improve your situation or forestall the inevitable.” D***. “Nor does it provoke me to be so stupid as to drop you and/or challenge you.” Double d***!“So if I help you will you let me go?” I asked nicely, though I felt like puking.“No.” WELL THEN!“Get me something to eat?”“No.”“Say something other than no?”“No.”“Will you at least contort me to a more comfortable position?”“No.”“Is your next answer going to be no?” Trick question time.“It would have been if that had not been some meaningless trick question meant to trip me up. Really, you creatures aren’t that intelligent are you?”“Dammit! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!” I could no longer contain myself, this guy was going total douche bag on me.Movement ceased and I perked up, sure that I had at least elicited SOME response from the animal. However he had merely reached the end of my trail, which emptied out into my favourite clearing. “Hmm, this seems adequate for my necessities.” Wow this guy sounds like some stuck up english prick. I hate english people more than I hate Americans... I was unceremoniously dropped onto the grass. Before I could run off, however, the animal thing (which by his voice sounded like he was male) lit his horn and a large green dome encompassed the entire clearing. I watched with interest as he walked very slowly around perimeter; stopping every now and then to do something.Wow my captor is stupid. I thought. I got up and started walking towards the green dome, quite sure it was for some other reason than keeping me in, forcefields were only real in video games, weren’t they?However, as soon as I touched it I was launched backwards. What the hell? “I would advise you not to do that again.” I turned and the animal thing was still making it’s rounds around the dome. It hadn’t even acknowledged me when it spoke, further infuriating me. “Not only will you probably injure yourself doing so but I would prefer to remain alive when we return to the hive. Chrysalis told us to refrain from harming the subjects and she would hardly listen to my explanation that you almost killed yourself.”“Oh, so if I keep doing this you’ll die? Fun!” I ran towards to the forcefield again. As long as this a** hole died I was happy to take the pain.Once again that cheapskate used his f***ing magic and I was thrust away from the tool of his demise. Apparently finished with his work he walked over to me. “Oh ha ha, very funny. Just stay put from now on.” I tried to raise my leg to kick him again and found that it was anchored to the ground by a green line. Now that’s just not fair. I tried lunging at him but the line restrained me before I moved a few feet in his direction.“You yella bellied mother f***ing poltroon! Ya coward! Can’t face me like a man can ya, gotta use that s***ty magic stuff to save your cowardly ass now dontcha!” He threw a glare that would melt butter but I just glared back. This piece of crap didn’t scare me before and he certainly didn’t now. However my plan to enrage him failed as he simply closed his eyes, or what I assumed were eyes, and took a deep breath.Before I could taunt him further a bright green flash erupted next to him and another being appeared, along with another one of my accursed species, if this guy was American... I don’t know.... The good news was he was gagged and tied up in a... a bed sheet? That’s pretty cliche. Of course anyone who pissed these guys off earned a few points in my book.My hands were left untied so I went to disengage the gag around his throat. The new changeling immediately lunged at me and pushed me away from the newcomer. “No. You shall not unbind his mouthpiece.” Before I could lunge at her (her tone of voice suggested female) she jumped away with the help of her wings. Dammit! Was this close! The leader moved beside her, giving a small frown. “And why not? You know the queen’s orders, we are not to harm any creature we find!”The female gestured at the human sitting next to me with her hoof. “That... THING! Is a harm to every creature it speaks to! I’m surprised you haven’t gagged yours!” I looked incredulously at my companion, giving a short clap for his efforts at pissing this chick off.The frown on the leader remained. “Well I won't have him being injured in any visual way,” His face took on more of an inquisitive look. “That is, unless you want to incur the wrath of Chrysalis?” I watched her flitter her wings nervously at the thought of being punished by whoever this queen figure was. “Just put a mini one-way sound proof dome over them.” With that the female’s horn glowed and another smaller dome was erected around us.“HA!” I yelled. “NOW YOU CAN’T HEAR WHAT I SAY B**** MOTHER F***ER! KISS MY A** AND GO F*** A DUCK!” I turned to my companion only to see him roll his eyes. “Would you rather stay in with me while I still have all my rage induced adrenaline rush; or listen to me relieve it through mass profanity?” He shakes his ‘No’. I’m confused for a moment, I didn’t ask a yes or no question though ... “Oh that’s right, you're gagged... here let me help with that.” I undid his gag and threw it away before starting on his other inhibitors. “So” I said laughing, “what did you do to piss her,” I pointed a thumb over my shoulder to said changeling. “off so much?”He tried to sound serious, but I heard his voice crack. “Oh, only the usual. Crush your enemies, See them driven before you,” Up to this part I was confused, then I heard him sing, “And hear the lamentation of the women!” Oh god, not that...“You do realize that Arnold Schwarzenegger probably facepalmed so many times when that was posted on youtube?” He raised an eyebrow at this.“Your point is?”“You know, I’m starting to see why she hates you.”V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^VDaniel PicardV^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^VApparently my fellow prisoner did not appreciate my sense of humor. Oh well, I guess I could tone it down for the moment; my favorite victim wouldn’t hear me anyways. And I have the feeling that I don’t want to anger this guy. “Don’t worry, the changeling just caught me on a very bad day.”“Hmm, and of course, this would happen to be the same day?” His face became a little more harsh, “Or do you live overseas with those english pricks?” English pricks? Well, I guess it was one way to describe them. But, before I could answer, the other guy seemed to have a revelation. “Wait, you said changelings... is that like a new kind of animal only found in the remote places of backwater towns?”Ok, this guy was neither a mythology or My Little Pony fan. Great... I will totally not sound like I’m trolling at all... “First, I’m guessing that you are American, so that would be no. Besides, the square-heads didn’t have much success at assimilating my people, so...” I paused, still thinking about how to announce to the other that we had been captured by some cartoon characters.“Ah okay, that puts us on much better terms.” The relaxation of his facial features encouraged me to go on with my crazy revelation.“As for changelings, well... They are actually antagonists from a place called Equestria, you know from the *cough* cartoon *cough*.” The false coughs might have been a little too much, but I’ll admit that I still wouldn’t believe it wasn’t a dream if my right hand wasn’t still in pain from my failed punch. Also, I could usually distinguish dream from reality thanks to my heightened emotions state in dreams.“First off, that coughing does nothing but make you look dumb. Second, you’re telling me the animals that captured us are the bad guys from a CARTOON SHOW FEATURING PONIES!?”That went well. “Yeah, crazy eh?”He started opening his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it up. He probably decided that it was better not to question it too much to keep what was left of his sanity if his shrug was of any indication. “Weirder things have happened to me. Why do you think I’m such an a**?” Weirder than being captured by beings from a cartoon? I seriously doubted it. His question on the other hand was very tempting to answer. “On second thought, don’t answer that. You seem like a grade A smarta**.”Pff, do I really look like someone who would never leave such a perfect opportunity to go to waste? Actually, he is right. I still decided to mock him a little by taking on a false air of being hurt by his words. It was a better solution than letting the fact that we were powerless against our captor for the moment sink in. “Well, I never!” With this imitation of a certain green maned pony done, I dropped my act. Now that I think about it, we still hadn’t introduced each other, “Most programmers I know have this crazy side to them. Anyways, might I ask your name?”“Darn, was hoping you would say ‘Can I ask you a question?’ so I could be a smarta** right back to you. Oh well. Names James, James Buck. If you have a problem with the last name, I will have a problem with your teeth still taking up residence in your mouth.” Oh, that one bites back, a man after my own heart but he did not look like the most social person.As he held out his left hand, I decided to return the favor and shake it, “No it’s fine, though a little hilarious considering our situation. I’m Daniel Picard, just like the captain of the Enterprise.” Now that I think about it, it might be unclear what I mentioned earlier to one ignorant of Canada history. ”I’m a Quebecer if you hadn’t guessed earlier.”“Hey I watched that movie! Pretty good for a sci-fi.” Wait, the first thing that come to his mind was one of the movies where Picard appear? Come on, the serie was much better! “You're also from up north... good we’ll get along fine. Only people I don’t have a problem with are canadian.”Eh, great? I have the feeling that I really shouldn’t try to know why. “Well, your bad taste aside, did you learn anything from your captor?” Given we were stuck in this together, I might as well share what little information I have learned with him.“Nah, he sounds like an english prick and has the attitude of a russian. Again, don’t ask how I know this.” The attitude of an Russian? Does that mean he drinks Vodka?“I see. Well, I gathered a few interested tidbits of information from mine.”My companion cocked his head, showing that I had all his attention, “Oh?”“First, for a race of infiltrators, they are incredibly stupid. This seems to be a snatch and grab operation while they basically know nothing about humans.” I interpreted his silence as a sign to carry on, “Also, there is at least another changeling if your is as stuck up as you described. My bug ‘told’ me that a certain Night Fury was a little more on the aggressive side.”“Don’t underestimate them, I already paid for my my error.” As he said those words, he pointed to the green dome that surrounded the area. While I had been wondering about what it was, I had a few ideas of my own. “That shield, yeah it was like a reflective one except it launches you back with greater force than that applied, I’ll give you two guesses on how I figured that out...”Considering James behavior so far, I’m going to guess that he tried to go through it. Though, considering the description he just gave me, I think that bouncing would be a better description of the barrier, “I don’t think reflective is the right term, but anyway,” I decided to wave my right hand to make my next point, ”I learned not to underestimate them too when I tried to punch mine. Their skins are much tougher than I expected...”“You punched one too? D***. Yeah apparently they have really tough exoskeleton or something, look at the toes of my boots for god’s sake! They’re dented! This isn't cheap steel!”What?! This is insane, what does it take to take one down? An armor piercing round? Suddenly I had much more respect for Earth Ponies enhanced strength. ”Hooves must be much tougher than I thought...” There goes any hope to fight them off... “Any idea on how to either escape or cause them the most trouble possible?”“Escape? Maybe not... causing them trouble would be in my best interest. Though I don’t know how we're going to get past this magic of theirs. Maybe make funny faces, maybe moon them?”I couldn’t stop myself but chuckle at the mention of mooning. If only we were dealing with a more prude species, “I don’t think it would have the same effect on creatures normally nude.” Their magic was probably the biggest obstacle to any plan to escape... I hope that they suffer from the same weakness as unicorns, so their horn should be a weak point. “If we had a way to hit their horn, we could interrupt their magic...” Wait, don’t Americans love their guns? “I’m guessing you don’t happen to have a gun on you?”“As a matter of fact I do...” I couldn’t believe my luck, a gun would provide us an edge for any escape plans. That was until his hand came out empty from his search of one of his pockets, “Did. I had work today so no firearms. Sorry”“There goes that idea...” So far, any plans I had come up with had quickly been dismissed because of the changeling’s physical attributes or magic. There was only so much that you could manage with words, unless they were typical movie villains... Maybe my constant antagonising of the changeling will bear fruits at some point..“Well I’m bored... You got a deck of cards or something?”A distraction to pass time until our captors would bother us again would be welcomed at this point. Unfortunately, I normally keep my pockets empty while I’m at home... Huh? Actually, judging from the weight of my left pocket, I had taken my phone instinctively with me when I went to answer the door, “Nope, I only have my phone with me...” Wait, maybe I could use it to call someone. Obviously, that idea didn’t work out, “And I have no signal...”“Well that question was only for courtesy's sake, I hate card games.” He gave me that look like I had said something very stupid, “And about your signal... I live in between no and where; I get 3 bars if I’m lucky and that’s only in the middle of town.” With those words of wisdom said, he took out his own phone before proceeding, “If you want to talk to me, don’t you dare poke me.” James then proceeded to isolate himself from the rest of the world with a pair a headphones.We’re being a real ray of sunshine, aren’t we? If I did not think it could be hazardous to my health, I would have taken out the big gun : The Smile song! Well, I might as well copy him and listen to some Disturbed music. The changeling seemed to be in no hurry to deal with us when they left. I wonder how much they would like This Day Aria?I only had the time to fully listen to two songs when a bright green flash caught my attention soon followed by the sound of the male voice from earlier, “Ahh, Night Fury, glad you could make it! Put your... why is your’s not moving?”“Because I don’t like chasing my prey.” That new arrogant voice was probably coming from the new changeling. I’m starting to wonder how close to the truth she was about the killing part... This did make him a perfect candidate to elicit a reaction to get him in trouble, but I am so going to hate the consequences...I should first warn James about the new comer. If that changeling was going to enter the dome, I could use some help for my plan. If he don’t get me first for the poking. “I swear if this isn’t important...”“It isn’t, I only wanted to tell you that I just found a new cockroach.”“Huh?” Considering his confused look, I might have been a little too cryptic on that one. Well, I might as well point them out for him.“That doesn’t give you an excuse to harm them. You know our orders.” The russian changeling was giving a look that could melt ice; which was met only with an indifferent look from the other.Night Fury used one of his hoof to point at the male human body’s head. “You can barely see the bruise, Chrysalis will be too enthusiastic about her ‘Plan’ to even bother with us once we deliver these things.” I felt sorry for the poor guy, a hoof to the head must have hurt.The other one, the leader of the group considering that the other changelings reported to him, was unimpressed by Fury claim if his snort was of any indication, “It does not matter whether or not you can see the bruise, if you get in trouble we all do. Don’t let this happen again. DO YOU HEAR ME?!”“Sir.” Don’t you feel the love in air? This changeling did not seem to be on the same frequency as his leader, it was a wonder how they worked together.“Now move your creature in with the others. Unless you feel like disobeying MY orders?”“No sir.” The new bug set off toward our little improvised cell, carrying his prize on his back. “That must be the aggressive one. This should be fun!” I might be only a little too enthusiastic about the possibility of being hurt.As the changeling entered the bubble, he dropped his body unceremoniously on the floor, his headphones and his bag falling right beside him, next to us while his ears were swiveling looking for the origin ofsome sound .Determination that is incorruptible From the other side a terror to behold Annihilation will be unavoidable Every broken enemy will know That their opponent had to be invincible Take a last look around while you're alive I realized that it was my phone playing Indestructable from Disturbed. Oh well, Changelings might like Metal music, “Creature, what in the name of Tartarus is that infernal music!” Or not.Not being one to refuse a chance to annoy our captors, I turned to face James and decided to look like I was clueless about what the bug was talking about, ”Music? Do you hear any music?”The devious grin that formed on his face as he removed his headphones confirmed that he was following my lead with the aggravation tactics. “What? I’m sorry these are the newest headphones that block out noise, didn’t catch a word you said.”The changeling was not convinced by our acting if his frown was saying anything. He then proceed to show us his fangs. Poor him, it was rather ineffective as he looked so cute compared to about the monsters I was used to see in games nowadays. He got nothing on necromorphs. “What were the meaning of those words? Choose carefully the ones that will come from your mouth...”“Which words? You should learn to be more specific Mr. Bug.”“The ones from that thing you call a song!” A growl accompanied his menacing voice. It was just too easy to get on his nerve.“Neither of us are hearing music at the moment. It is rather Disturbing if you are starting to hear things... It might be the radiation.”The changeling rose his right fore hoof with the clear intention of hitting me. Unfortunately, a furious shout coming from behind the bug put an end to his plan, “NIGHT FURY!” Judging from the voice, it was the leader. Keeping an eye on your subordinate, aren’t you? “Get your sorry flank out here and help us, you can smack that one once it’s put into stasis. If Chrysalis doesn’t kill you for insubordination first.” Oh, I already managed to get him in trouble? One point for the ‘local’ team. As Night Fury left us behind while sulking, the other on pointed a hoof at me,“And you! You WILL shut up, will not have you antagonizing my soldiers.”Right, why should I do as you say? You forgot to add the ‘or else’ clause. I faked a yawn before further antagonising the leader, “I am so scared. Did you know that you look like a little girl cartoon character?” My remark was met by a slap on my cheek.“I will not be baited by your antics, and before you taunt me further about harming you. That was a magical hit. It doesn’t leave marks.” He exited the bubble, leaving me and James to do as we wished in the meantime. But who was he kidding? This was obviously a force spell and considering that my skin had the habit to mark easily, I would be surprised if it will leave no mark on the long term.“Geez, that guy can’t take the truth. It’s Hasbro’s idea, not mine...”“As much as I love the fact that you're trying to piss them off, I’m still tired, therefore if we could assume the previous arrangement that would be excellent. One extra thing though, you're allowed to poke me if another one shows up.” Grumpy puts his headphones back on and decided to lay down.“Well, it seem that I’ll be the welcoming party for the new one.” I first thought of slapping him and hoping he would wake up, but I decided after full consideration of my situation that I should start by trying to poke him.“Ah, tabarnak. Ostie qu’j’ai mal à tête. Ques’est qui s’est passé pour qu’aye mal de même?” [Ah, da**. F***, my head hurts. What the hell happened to get such an headache?]Oh, a fellow Quebecer; the swearing we use is rather characteristic. This should be interesting.V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^VMathias DuquetV^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^VI woke up due to a weird feeling on my side. I tried to open my eyes, but the light caused one of the most massive headache I ever had. “Ah, tabarnak. Ostie qu’j’ai mal à tête.” I managed to open my eyes, even under such terrible pressure. “Ques’est qui s’est passé pour qu’aye mal de même?” I asked randomly in the language of my people.What I saw was some green wall separating me from... bugs? Yup, welcome to CooCoo Land, also called Asylum. This is the only place where horses and bugs have babies. Enjoy your stay! I started rubbing my head while trying to find a way to know if I was crazy.“Je voterais sur le fait que ton changeling a décidé que c’était plus simple de t’assomer pour ta capture.” [I’ll vote for the fact that your changeling decided it was simpler to knock you down to capture you.] I heard behind me. I turned around and saw a tall man wearing black pants and one of those plain blue shirts. In his pocket was a cellphone playing some crazy metal music that I always hated.“Mmm... quoi? C’est pas l’cinema? J’pensais qu’il m’apportait au cinema!” [Mmm... what? We’re not at the cinema? I thought he was bringing me to the cinema.] I said. I saw that one of the bug outside the bubble we were in had noticed that I had woken up and, with an evil grin, started walking toward me. On his way to the bubble, he turned into the same tall man I saw in the alleyway.When he arrived there, I saw the man beside me waving his hand happily to the transformed bug. I saw that the bug’s reaction was located between annoyance and hatred. He then looked at me and grinned. “Do you like it in here, creature? I sure hope that you are in pain right now, because your species simply annoys me.” He said before turning back into his original form.I turned around to see my co-prisoner bored beyond his mind. I tried thinking of a way out of this mess, but the annoying music kept me from doing anything. I took my bag laying on the floor, searched through it and, luckily for me, my new pair of headphones was laying at the bottom. I grabbed my older one laying beside me and threw it at him.“Peut tu, genre, mettre sa pis fermer ta musique.” [Can you, like, put this on and shut your music.] I said while pointing the wires on the floor.“Oui maman.” [Yes mommy.] The man shrugged, took the headphones and placed plugged it in. Finally some silence. When he placed them on his ears, I realised something. Wait, I still don’t know his name... I haven’t asked yet? I thought, surprising even myself. I wanted to ask him, but saw that he was busy listening to music. I hated bothering people so I decided to let him be for the time being.I looked around the ‘jail’ and saw that there were actually three people in there. There was me, the guy I gave the headphones and another dude sleeping with his music on. I knew that I was all alone now, so I decided to take my newer headphones and put them on.I was walking toward the sleeping body to see it on a closer scale when the other Quebecer stopped me. I removed one of the ‘phones and listen to him. “Je ne le dérangerais pas à ta place, le Schtroumpf Grognon n’est pas d’humeur pour l’instant.” [I wouldn’t bother him, the Grumpy Smurf is not in a good mood right now.] I lightly laughed at the comparison. I turned around to look at the man.
“Pis, c’est quoi ton nom, le quebecois?” [So, what’s your name, Quebecer?] I asked the man. He smiled at the question. I hoped that we would be on good terms even though we’re stuck in hell. He removed his cellphone from his pocket and shut off his music temporarily.
“Daniel Picard, capitaine de l’USS Enterprise D.” [Daniel Picard, captain of the USS Enterprise D.] Daniel pointed the sleeping guy. “Lui c’est James Buck. Et toi compatriote?” [He’s James Buck. What about you partner?] I laughed at the reference and at the ‘name’ he gave me.“Je suis Spock, scientifique sur l’Enterprise. Pourquoi me reconnais-tu pas, Picard?” [I’m Spock, scientist on the Enterprise. Why don’t you recognize me, Picard?] I said, continuing his joke. He laughed, trying to stay silent enough not to wake up James, even though he has his headphones on.“Oh, je suis désolé ambassadeur Spock, je vous ai pris pour Sylar.” [Oh, sorry ambassador Spock, I thought you were Sylar.] I looked at him with confusion. I think I just met my limit of knowledge of Star Trek. I shook my head.“Ok, je suis Mathias Duquet. Je ne suis pas un fan de Star Trek et j’ai aucune idee de quoi tu parle.” [Okay, I’m Mathias Duquet. I’m not a fan of Star Trek and I got no idea what you’re talking about.] I simply said. He hid his smile behind his fist. I extended my hand for an handshake.He shook my hand with great intensity. “Enchanté Mathias.” [Pleased to meet you, Mathias.] After this scene, his face became as serious as it can be. “Que sais tu des changelings?” [What do you know about changelings?] What kind of stupid que- wait, that creature changed form. Not so stupid after all. “Eh bien, c’est un style de carte tres utile dans n’importe quelle strategie, mais plus utile avec les Slivers.” [Well, it’s a type of card that is really useful in any strategies, but mostly useful with Slivers.] I said in a matter-of-fact voice, but his confusion proved me that he wasn’t a Magic the Gathering player. “C’est un style de carte Magic the Gathering.” [It’s a style of MTG card.] He ‘ooh’ as I explained the reference.“Je vois, ça fait une éternité que je n’ai pas jouer à ce jeu la. Mais non, ce n’est pas de ce type de changeling que je parle.” [I see, it’s been a long time since I’ve played that game. I’m not talking about that type of changeling.] He pointed at the bugs that kidnapped us. “Autre que la capacité de changer de forme, ils sont suposé être bon pour l’infiltration. Mais, ils semblent ne pas connaître grand choses des humains.” [They can change forms and they are supposed to be good at infiltration. Although, they doesn’t seem to know much about humans.] He stopped for dramatic effect. “Oh, et c’est un des antagonistes de My Little Pony.” [Oh, it’s also an antagonist in MLP.]I stared at him, wondering how he said that with such a serious face. I looked deep into his eyes and started to laugh. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t cringe and kept his serious face. I continued to laugh, but it started to be awkward laugh. “Attend... t’est serieux?” [Wait, you’re serious.] He nodded and I only sat down, mentally trying to prevent any insanity from coming out.“Malheureusement oui... Ils sont aussi très resistant... et ils utilisent de la magie...” [Sadly yes... and they’re very resistant... and they use magic.] I nodded slowly, trying to fit this in my brain. Great, we’re stuck against spellcaster bugs with high Armor Class. Why am I thinking in DnD right now? I thought.His serious face melted with a silly smile. ”Par contre c’est relativement simple de leur taper sur les nerfs.” [On the other hand, it’s really easy to piss them off.] I smiled and hid a small chuckle. So that’s why my kidnapper looked at him with such an angry stare. I looked at the changelings talking to each others. I knew that it would a long time until we could get out of there. I looked at Daniel and pointed to my headphones. He nodded and we placed them back on our ears, waiting patiently for something else to happen.After what seemed like hours which, according to my iPod, took only 10 minutes, a brief flash came out from the other side of the two dome shields. Another bug horse thingy, joy oh joy. The bug was holding in his... psychokinesis grasp? a human body. From the distance, I couldn’t see if he was alive or not, but seeing that we were not dead, I think that they need us in a healthy state.I stood up and walked toward Daniel and saw that he also noticed the flash made by the bug’s... teleportation? Man, these bugs really have fun breaking the laws of physics. I stated in my mind. I walked toward the wall nearest to the bugs. While I was doing it, Dan went to the sleeping body of our captive friend. Then, he started poking his shoulder until the man woke up."Either another one of those things, changelings?, showed up. Or you have a death wish." Daniel seemed unfazed by the comment as I stared at the man who made it. Is he...serious? The man turned his head and his eyes met mine.Daniel nodded. “Yep, it’s another one. I wonder how many of those there are...” James shook his head and shrugged in confusion. Then, he realised that there was a new awoken face around him.“First off, who the hell is he?” He said while pointing at me. I waved at him with a silly smile, looking like a retard. “Second. Good, hate to have to worry about the effort of choking your life out then getting strangled by the changeling and having this whole scene erupt and all. You know what, now I wish I smoked, because this seems like a movie picture moment to do so.” Daniel sighed while I thought of a good and silly way to say hi.“Oi mate, mai name is Alejandro. Nice t’meet ya.” I said with a smile, happy to see that my australian accent was between shitty and realistic. He stared at me with a blank face, his left eye twitching.“Nevermind his antics, his name is Mathias Duquet and he is a Quebecer too...” Daniel said before James released his rage. He(who is he?) sighed and relaxed a bit.“Need to work on that accent a little. Glad that Daniel here has a lick a sense even if you don’t. Also, you must know that everyone originally from the country north of the US, you two being prime examples, are the only ones I don’t hate on sight, or in some cases hearing.” I nodded at his explanation, happy to see that his hatred was not targeted toward me.“Anyone up for finding out what our hosts are up to?” He said while staring at the group of bug horses talking to each other. Dan and I looked at his targets and we smiled.Daniel rubbed his hands together. ”Always!” He said with an evil grin. I shrugged, following both of them near the side of the wall. We placed our ears on the wall, seeing that if we don’t attack it, we don’t get knocked back. We managed to hear their conversation.“Mirror, how nice of you to join us... you’re late,” Quicksilver cringed, looking at his partner. ”Good thing we started on the diagram already so we are still on schedule.” He looked at the human body floating in his telekinesis grasp. “I see that you have also used lethal force in obtaining your specimen...”“My apologies for being late sir. As for how I collected mine, I knocked it out magically therefore causing no harm to it mentally or physically.” He said, bowing at his boss. He nodded, sighed and turned around.“Hmm... Well i guess that is alright. Over there you will see a barrier, please place yours inside of it with the others and come back to assist us.” Quicksilver pointed the bubble containing us. Daniel, seeing that they were looking at us, waved happily at the changeling. The boss shivered at the sight.The new changeling’s ears glowed green like the horn of the one beside it. The new one gave an annoyed look at the first whose horn stopped glowing for a moment. “That one,” He said while pointing at Dan. “has a mouth on it that could make anypony wish they’d been turned to stone by a cockatrice.” The changeling holding the man nodded, The magical ear muffs re-appearing on his ears.The new changeling walked toward the prison and opened a hole, allowing him to ‘drop’ the body on the cold hard ground. Right when he was about to close the shield, Dan started running toward the hole and jumped in front of Mirror Image?”Welcome Mr New Bug. I’m the Doctor.” He said in an obvious British accent. The bug just looked at him and rolled its eyes. Dan grunted and crossed his arm. “Killjoy.” He stated simply. The changeling closed the shield back up and started trotting towards his group. “Wow, that one will be a hard nut to crack.” Dan said, disappointed at his failed attempt.I just looked at the situation and laughed. Was Dan really that annoying, enough to make sound proof earmuffs to block his annoyingness necessary. I shook my head. At least I’m not the worst of the bunch. I thought. If I’m not the worst of the bunch, they’ll be less inclined to target me with... whatever they want us to do.“I, for one, am not surprised that they are now taking precautions, but sound proof ear muffs? I mean ones that actually work? Too bad those aren’t on the shelves at the local Wal-mart...” James stated while looking with amusement at the whole situation. To answer that comment, Daniel showed a small grin.“This is all part of my strategy. I want them to overestimate my danger level. That could be useful to let you act later, or the giant over there.” He said while pointing to the still asleep body laying on the floor. I walked toward it and just looked at him. He was breathing, but I didn’t know what these bug did to him.What I didn’t see coming, though, was a fistful of surprise meeting my face. The strength of the hit throwing me at least two meters back. “WHAT THE BLOODY F*CK, TABARNAK DE CALISSE.” I screamed, swearing in every way I knew. It was so painful that I knew the mark would become a deep black bruise.V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^VScott FletcherV^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V“WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK, TABARNAK DE CALISSE!”I snap my eyes open, looking around rapidly. Okay, where in the world did that thing take me? One moment, I’m looking at some kind of dark figure, the next, I’m lying on the ground with my arm stretched out and hand curled into a fist with some French guy yelling what I presume to be curses at me.Taking a moment to calm down, I truly observe my surroundings. I find myself in a lime green dome, with three other people. One of them is sitting down holding his eye. That must be the one I punched. Of the other two, one is standing with an amused expression upon his face, but worried at the same time for the one I had punched, seeing as how he went over to his fallen possible comrade. The other one has fallen down because he was laughing so hard. Presumably at the one I had just punched.I sit up with a groan, feeling several pops up my spine. I sigh in relief as the pain from an aching back recedes. I watch as the guy checks on the one with a hurt eye. “Will you be fine?” Well, at least there’s one nice person here that I know of.“VA DONC CHIER... oh, I mean GO F*CK YOURSELF!” He said while staring at me. Yeesh, this one seems to be a bit grumpy. Although, I guess he does have reason to be pretty mad. The one that fallen on the ground, had now finally recovered.The one that went to help him just shook his head. ”I’ll take that for a no.”As I stand to my full height, I feel more pops along my legs.Well, better go make amends and all that. I walk over to the guy I punched, whom had just been helped to his feet by the other guy (Wow, I’m really going to have to learn their names) and hold out a hand. ”Hey, sorry about punching you. I guess I was in the middle of one when he knocked me out.”Joker, as I have decided to call him for now, bursts out laughing at the entire situation. “Oh, this beats the violence in ALL cartoons!” I give him a ‘look’ before turning back to Grumpy, who is giving me a death glare.“Sorry... SORRY? You punched me, I swear I felt a piece of broken teeth in my mouth and...” He puts a hand to his nose, “...you freaking COVERED MY FACE IN NOSE BLOOD. I’m sure the color surrounding my eye must be in fifty shades of purple right about now!”“Hey, see the bright side of situation. I’m sure that their queen won’t like that one bit. Maybe we could try to put the fault on Night Fury,” says uh, um... Well, I can’t think of one for him.Before any more conversation can be made between the four of us, I can hear voices from outside the dome. “So, they can kill each other, but I can’t knock one out? That’s unfair.” This voice seems to be disappointed about something, obviously that he isn’t allowed to hurt from the context of his words.I hear the sound of something charging up before it’s cut off by a second, more commanding voice. “Hey! Knock it off!”Joker snickers a little at their apparent frustration with each other. To be honest, I don’t really care, except for the one that got me; he’s dangerous. “Well, if we’re going to be staying in the same dome together, might as well get to know one another a bit better. My name’s Scott Fletcher.”“Hello Scotty. I’m captain Daniel Picard of the USS Enterprise. I’d ask M. O’Brien to beam us out, but he left for Deep Space Nine.” All I can do is stare at Daniel. Clearly, he has no social life if he uses that as a greeting. Of course, I have no room to speak, but that’s not the problem here.I turn towards Grumpy, motioning for him to give his name.He just glares at me and turns away, forcing Daniel to introduce him in his stead. “The guy you used as a punching bag is Mathias Duquet. At least you didn’t punch gr- the other one.”My thought process is interrupted by Mathias, angrily yelling at me. “Yeah, blame the curious guy to be curious. I was the only one here concerned for your safety!” Well, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat. Better not goad him on that though, he’s already pretty pissed. So,all I do to placate him, is shrug.I look over at Joker, only to find he’s lying on the ground, listening to music, totally not caring about what we’re doing. Hmm, I might have a little fun with this one. Well, my type of fun. And so, for my nightly dose of real life entertainment, I walk over to him, and kick him in the side. I’m so engrossed with my task, I don’t even see Daniel’s eyes widen in shock.Joker’s eyes begin to open slowly and glare at me. “Since you’re new here, I’ll cut you a break this time. Next time you touch me when I don’t want you to, I’ll break the limb you use.”So, he’s one of those types, is he? Two can play at that game. I concentrate for a few seconds, then feeling the familiar anger as I loosen my mental barriers a bit. In a venomous voice, I reply, “Try to break any of my limbs, and I’ll snap your neck.”“An American with a spine? My God...” Hm, maybe I’ll like this guy after all. I could tell by his tone of voice that he was genuine with his words.I hold out a hand to help him up. “My name’s Scott, since I’m just going to assume you didn’t hear that earlier.“Well ‘Scott’ I might have said that I’m impressed that you have a spine. But that does not make you my friend, capeesh? Nice to meet you though, names James Buck.” Seeing that he is not accepting my outstretched hand, I pull it back. Good, I didn’t want to waste energy getting you up anyways.“Who said anything about being friends?” He simply shrugs, obviously not caring. I turn back towards Dan to see him trying calm Mathias down in the French language, which seems to be working. He’s obviously like a paragon from Mass Effect.I see something hanging off of Dan’s neck. Ignoring my earlier thoughts on curiosity, I speak out to him. “Hey Dan! What’s that you got around your neck?”He turns around at the mention of his name, bringing his pendant out. ”Oh that? It represents Solomon’s key. I still haven’t figured out the demon summoning function though.” Yeah, this guy has a sense of humor, even if it does come with very bad jokes, it’s still a good sign.I see Mathias use a water bottle that I hadn’t seen before and his Mc’Donalds work clothes to clean the small amount of blood off his face. He opens his mouth to say something, “Look, I’m sorry. The punch just caught me by surprise and you didn’t seem to care... Sorry for throwing shit at you.”I simply smile to let him know his apology is accepted. “Well, I’m no fan, but I managed.” Ugh, my sense of humor is worse than Daniel’s. Daniel just rolls his eyes at my terrible joke.Alright, let’s move onto a new subject of discussion. “So, anyone else other than me know what these guys are?”Daniel’s face immediately brightens at my statement. “Finally! I was starting to think I was the only one who knew how weird the situation was. Kidnapping humans for love...” Draining humans for love? The most they’ll probably get from James and I would be like a giant vat of acid for them.“So the strong punchy guy watches pink ponies. I wonder who’s the youngest here.” I almost make a retort at his comment, but his smile shows me that he was only joking.Daniel almost uncaringly replies, “Bah, I’m only twenty-six. It’s only five score divided by four plus one.”“What’s a score? Are you talking about games?” I wonder how young Mathias is. It is usually pretty common knowledge on how much a score is.“A score is just a fancy term for twenty years,” I reply.“Oh! We don’t have anything like that in French.” Ah, that would explain it all.“Well, since Dan here so willingly gave us his age, we should tell each other our own as well. I’m twenty.” I see James feign interest in our conversation, but he removes one of his earbuds and scoots closer to be a part of it. After all, for all he knows we could be planning an escape.“Since you all seem keen on talking and not being complete idiots, I guess I can oblige. I am 22 years old.” Huh, I thought he was younger than that.I motion to Mathias last, waiting for him to give an age. “I’m sixteen. I still don’t know why that’s relevant.” Wow, to be honest, by his appearance, I could’ve sworn that he was at least eighteen.I walk over and examine the green barrier. After giving it a few taps, I find that it’s rather similar to glass. Does this mean it’s breakable? While analyzing the ‘glass’, James seems to speak what’s on my mind.“I’m f*cking bored, my playlist has run through a couple times, and even though you guys are the best company I’ve had in years, you’re really not that interesting.”“Wow, if the best company you’ve had is boring, I pity your soul,” Mathias replies.James just rolls his eyes in response. “Tell me about it...”Upon closer inspection, I see what appears to be a second shield. Why would they need that? After my fight with that one changeling, it’s obvious we’re not too much of a threat to them. I turn back to the rest of the group to find Daniel standing next to me, looking at the shield as well.“If you are wondering, the closest barrier is to prevent our voices from reaching them. I’ll let you guess why they created it.” He gives me an evil grin. No, he couldn’t have! Is it possible that he could be this annoying? To get changelings to put up a sound proof barrier? Hmm, he could be a powerful asset.I return the grin, “Are you able to be annoying enough to make them slip up?”“If you’re going to do it make it subtle, those glowy ear things weren’t for show,” said James. So, they also found ways to protect themselves personally and put the shield up just to make sure?“It is already done. The one named Night Fury is the easiest to influence. The only one that doesn’t already hate me is the one that brought you.” Hmm, the one that brought me could be a potential problem. I don’t think he gets annoyed as easily as the others.Dan spoke up again. ”Anyone have any ideas for escaping those bugs? So far, I’ve only managed to prepare the terrain for a possible diversion. If their magic wasn’t enough of a problem, their skin is too thick to make punching them an option...” Hmm, he did mention a diversion, but I don’t think it will work. The one that brought me is obviously an analyst; he’ll be expecting it.“Prison riot?” Suggested Mathias. “I mean, it’s four against four. Except that they have super strong armor... and magic... you know what, forget it, I’d rather stay here and wait for my demise.” Well, we could have a form of a prison riot, just not, you know, charging, yelling, and giving up all hope...unless they use duct tape. Then it’s okay to give up all hope.I take their suggestions and play with them a bit. What if we punched the shield as a distraction and got them to open it? No, too many variables. Could we perhaps do that? No, same as the last reason. Unless....I got it.I motion for the others to gather around me. “A lot of times, the best way to get the jump on someone is to wait and watch, which I really hope you already know. Alright, here’s the plan...”*One weird awkward plan later* (AKA we’re too lazy to make one up.)"Wait, is this something stupid you just made up on the spot or did you actually put thought into it?" Retorted James, ever the suspicious and untrusting one.“Wow, even I think it’s a bit stupid. And I’m the one who was thinking to go guerilla on their collective asses.” Mathias really isn’t helping either. The only who seems to be giving the idea any thought is Daniel.“It might work. It is always the plans with the lowest probability of working that are effectives in movies. Beside, it is a better idea than letting them drag us to their hive. Four of them is already enough of a problem.” Yes! Someone gets it!“Movies aren’t realistic though.” says James, ruining my small good mood.. “Everything has to go right or else the hero guy loses; and nobody wants to see that.”Daniel replies sarcastically, ”Oh yes, because being captured by characters from a comic is much more realistic.”“Yeaaaah, choose your poison. The automatic killing one with the changeling or the one with a chance of survival? It may be stupid, but we got no other choice,” says Mathias. Exactly what I’ve been saying!“I choose the automatic killing.” James pauses, “Of them. You just have to wait for the right moment, as it stands we are trapped. We wait until they take us out then strike. They may be tough on the outside, but everything has a flaw. Go for the eyes or the horn, they probably don’t weigh much so tripping them might be possible.”Daniel brings a hand to his chin, thinking out loud. ”The classical fingers in the eyes could work. I don’t think they would expect that.” Mathias just laughs at the absurdity of poking the changelings in the eyes.He responds with something just as ridiculous. “If you attack in the front, give me a cardboard box and a pack of cigarettes. I’m gonna sneak behind and grab their horns, Metal Gear style.Before I can add to the conversation,we’re interrupted by a voice behind us. “Hey! Stop talking, yeah I can’t hear you, but I can see your mouths moving!” Well, we’ll have to be a bit, cautious.V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V*A few uneventful hours where a fight between Google Chrome and Firefox occurred later...*V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V“It’s time. Bring out the creatures.” Well, this changeling is awfully authoritative, and also troublingly sentient.Two of the other three changelings move to grab James and I, the changeling that brought me staying back to make sure we don’t try anything. The first part of the plan starts as I hear Mathias and Daniel began to quietly argue about something. The one dragging James to the weird pentagram, circle, square, triangle... Nevermind, we’ll just call it an alchemy circle for now, you know, like the ones from Fullmetal Alchemist. Anyways, he yells at the two fighting humans, “Quiet you two! I don’t like hearing your voices!”The leader then points at me. “You!” Then moves his black swiss cheese hoof to point at one of the four circles surrounding the pentagram. “Sit there!” I do as I’m told cooperatively, not wanting to provoke him, yet. “Now, sit here and don’t move.” Right, like I’ll try and run off with four magic capable insect ponies ready to shoot me at a moment’s notice. “Night Fury, Mirror, go and get the other two. Unseen, stay here and observe what I’m going to do.” She obeys, watching him and James at the same time.I hear Mathias behind me yell out at him, “What makes you think that I will listen to you? You look like a horse that mated with a bug and got shot by a gatling gun!”The leader changeling does his best to ignore the comment, doing a much better than job than Night Fury. However, they are able to restrain themselves, some much more easily than others. A bright light erupts from his horn and my heart clenches. A pain like no other, but still bearable, arises from my chest and a small, white orb makes it’s way out.“Tabarnak, what is your f*cking problem!? I was only saying the truth.” I can barely hear Mathias over the strange buzzing noise as Night Fury reprimands him for the insult, suddenly losing what semblance of control he had for whatever reason.Okay, I have seen many things, (Well, not really, but you get the point) but this? This took the cake. In fact, at this very moment, my mind was in a state of, “What the hell is that thing?!” The surprise is absent on the changeling’s face however, as a similar orb floats out of his chest. I can see the changeling grit its teeth from the jolt of pain as a little bolt of lightning shocks between the two orbs. They zap together a few more times then retreat quickly back into their respective bodies, leaving me and the changeling breathless.He stays sitting for a few moments, catching his breath as I do the same. Finally, he speaks again."That was a essence binding spell. It is usually used on target ponies so that a source of food is always locatable, in this case it is used as a sort of anchor to keep the humans in Equestria so that the spell’s time limit is nulled.” Well, great. now they can track us wherever we go. Well, at least just me for the moment.“But won't that anchor our essences to this world? Since it works in Equestria, wouldn’t it work here?” Unseen asks unemotionally.The leader gives her a small smile. “This spell only anchors the target’s essence to the casters, not both. Therefore we will not be able to skirt the time limit. The only true side-effect is passively knowing when the other pony is nearby, and with some help, where in the general area they are.”“Unfortunately there is one other immediate side effect to the spell. It leaves the caster drained of magic.” He turns to look at James. "Thankfully it doesn't last long and the caster is back up to full power in a matter of minutes.” Wow, I thought he was smarter than this. He just literally told us their greatest weakness. At least well I heard it.“Psst, James.” I twist my head to see Mathias winking at James. Well, at least he noticed the changeling’s slip-up.After about three more minutes of waiting in that same spot, Mathias and Daniel have now been joined and marked along with us. With Mirror, Night Fury, and Unseen (Still haven’t gotten all their full names yet darn it.) looking as exhausted as their leader was a few minutes prior, I got ready to give the signal. The leader’s horn charged up activating the spell, and I gave the signal to Daniel.“Great plan, just like the other one you had when you tried to capture Canterlot. It was perfect. Oh wait! That’s right, thanks to a single filly everything went south and your Queen Chrysalis got owned like the cockroach that she is.” I wince from the roar of rage from Night Fury. Looking over at Mirror, I see him not angered, but confused. Almost as though he alone realized that Daniel knew something he shouldn’t."YOU'RE DEAD YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIVING BEING!" Night Fury lowered his horn and begins to charge it, pawing at the ground much like a bull getting ready to charge.With the leader yelling at Night Fury to hold his ground, obviously pissed off as well, I charge Mirror. But, thanks to a stray rock within the pentagram, I lose my footing at trip into Mathias. My much higher weight causing him to get pushed backwards into Daniel, out of Night Fury’s way and run into Unseen.I can hear him yell at me from on top of the other Canadian.. “Good job, klutz face! We’re not dominoes, y...”Whatever he was going to say is cut off, along with any sound, like when an explosion goes off near you, just without the ringing. Then everything goes white. I have a sense of vertigo, but then it vanishes, as does the white light. I’m now floating through a black abyss towards some unknown location. Then starts the pulling. I can’t even describe it, other than every single piece of my existence being pulled apart, molecule by molecule, thought by thought, and then put back together. That’s when I lose consciousness, and the whole world just gets darker.V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^VMathias DuquetV^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^VI opened my eyes to only see darkness. What a good way to die. Getting thrown into a pile of corpses like dominoes. I looked around, waiting for something else to happen. Like a cue, a light shined through the blank world and somebody, whom I recognize as Daniel, appeared near me.What surprised me was that he was unconscious. He must have hit his head when we fell one on the other. I looked at his body and felt a bit weird. I wish his death will be painless. I thought before being blinded another light. Who is playing with the strobes around here!? This time, it was one of our guards who appeared. The only way I managed to know who she was was her mane. She was the only female changeling in their group. She looked at me and tried to shout, but I heard no sound coming out. I pointed at her and laughed until I felt something out of this world.Pain. You know when people says that they felt true pain. They only felt the tip of the painberg. I felt like I was being stripped of my brain. I managed to turn my head and saw that both the changeling and Dan were experiencing the same thing. I closed my eyes and endured the searing pain.Suddenly, it stopped and a blue glow was shining outside my eyelids. I opened them and saw a light blue orb coming out of me and Dan. I looked at the female changeling and saw that she had a pink orb. While both of the blue ones were travelling the darkness toward her, hers splitted in two and went into both us humans.When it entered me, I felt... surprisingly good. Like if somebody placed some healing gel on my wounds. The pain that I felt few seconds earlier was from the past. It was replaced by the soothing sensation of peace.When the blue orb entered the changeling, she disappeared into thin air... or darkness. A while line went from my heart to Dan’s. That’s when my eyes started to close by themselves. The last thing I saw before falling unconscious were some glowing balls coming from Dan and going in me. What... the... heck....?
The Forest Where Lots of Mauling Occurs
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James
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“Oh god, my head.” I sat up and blinked the blurriness away. That was a painful experience I’d rather not go through again.
I took a look at my surroundings. I was lying down in a dark forest like area, nothing much else to look at though. ‘I’m not optimistic enough to think that whatever the changelings were trying to do didn’t work or mis-fired. So what the hell happened?’
I heard a distant growl, not unlike a wolf, but different. Something was coming, and for this first time in a long time, I was scared.
'Wait, why am I scared? It's just a fucking forest!' I berated myself for acting so childish, yet the fear was still there.
I decided to ignore what felt like my base instinct and rose to my feet. Wait, something's off, instead of standing almost to the tops of the low branches I barely make it halfway up the trunk. I felt the ground using my feet, which I then realized numbered four.
I looked down, then soon regretted it. "Fuck no!" I had four light grey legs that ended in hooves. After probing a bit in my mind I moved what I felt was a tail. "Fuck me, I'm a horse!"
The howls were getting closer and I involuntarily shuddered. Damn instincts! I realized that I now have horse instincts and therefore was afraid of wolves. However I had one distinct advantage: I had the thinking power of a human. While a deep slash with a wolf’s claw could do me in, I’m sure that a buck to the face ought to hurt enough to make it back off.
I tried walking forward, but all I accomplished was bringing my muzzle closer to ground. I managed to rise to my knees and spit the dirt out of my mouth.
I lifted my head up just in time to come face to face with the weirdest thing I have ever seen. It looked like a wolf, but was made solely out of wood.
It snarled at me and, unfortunately, my base instinct once again told me to book it as fast as possible. However, since I rarely listen to instinct, common sense, and sometime my conscience, it was easy to raise my lips and snarl, albeit stupidly, back.
The thing didn’t show it but I could tell it was somewhat confused. Apparently it was used to more cowering than what I was doing. Finally it seemed to snap out of whatever twisted things occupied it’s brain and growled again. This was answered by the rustling and the appearance of even more of the wood wolves.
“Now would be a great time to figure out how to run, hell I’ll settle for walking if it means I can make some distance.” I like a challenge but 5 to 1 odds did not seem fair to me.
The one in front of me pounced, claws outstretched and mouth open wide, turned sideways to accommodate my furry neck. ‘Aww fuck no!’ My brain decided to switch gears and allow me to quickly jump to the side, avoiding the deadly jaws. ‘Dammit, that hurts!’ I looked and saw a long gash adorning my body, but that wasn’t what stunned me.
Like something out a storybook there sitting on my back were two feathered wings, safely tucked against my body.
My momentary distraction was enough to get pounced by another and pinned to the ground, accumulating another gash on my back right leg. It snarled at me and swiped at me. I flinched as the pain from the open wound reached me. Fuck this shit, I’ve lived in America for 22 years, I am NOT going to die here!
It lifted its paw up to swipe at me again, but it never got the chance to bring it down. A swift kick using my good rear hoof unbalanced it enough for me to roll over out from under it. “COME ON! I CAN TAKE YOU!”
The other wolves slowly advanced on me. If they got to me I knew I was boned.
However, what seemed like the alpha male recovered from my kick and snapped at the others, forcing them to back away.
He placed himself within leaping distance and started to flank me. Soon we were in a classic circle of wariness. What I hadn’t noticed until we had switched places, is that while we moved, the others hadn’t and now my back was to them. My eyes widened exponentially and time seemed to slow down as I willed my body to merge with the ground as the wolf in front of me began to leap.
I looked up instinctively and saw both the first group and the alpha collide into each other... right on top of me, well my back leg. ‘Of fucking course it had to be the injured one as well.’ I cringed once more as I pulled desperately on my leg to free it. ‘They’re waking up! Fuck fuck fuck fuck!’ thankfully, the one on bottom came to first and tried to rise up, allowing me to free my leg.
Immediately I take off, albeit with a pronounced limp, but any distance away from these things was a blessing.
I heard a howl and quickened my pace. “Just my fucking luck! Caught by some weird ass changeling things, get almost torn apart by ‘non-existent’ magic. And now I’m being fucking chased by damn wolves made out of fucking wood!”
Oh, you know what would be nice? If I got my wings to work. Then I could fly away from these things. Knowing my luck I’d probably end up getting them sliced off as soon as get them to work.
I looked back just in time to see the wolf things chasing me. They weren’t running however, they kept their distance, wary of the new prey I had presented myself as. “If you’re going to kill me get on with it ya ass holes!” I shouted back.
I noticed though that the there were only four wolves and the alpha’s eyes weren’t exactly focused on me. I swung my head forward and of fucking course, there was the last creature, lying in wait. Damn these things for being so smart!
For some reason, I stopped quite suddenly, even jumping back out of the range of the wolf paw that came moments after I stopped. Finally it registered in the back of my mind that I was using appendages I had not used before. I took a shaky look back, doubting what i would see. Sure enough both my wings stuck out in a horizontal position.
I tested them a bit, moving them around, a little up and down. ‘Ha ha! Success!’ I had complete motor control. Well, until the wolves got tired of me looking at myself. The first slash missed marginally, while the second caught me on my outstretched wing. The third and fourth added more marks to my barrel and the fifth gave me a movie style gash over my eye. ‘Wow, i probably look like shit right now.’ I tried flapping my wings a little while the wolves recovered for round two.
I managed to create enough lift to make the wolves think that I was escaping. One bit down on my leg, the bad one of course. Its grip wasn’t enough and it didn’t pull me down. However, I would probably not be able to walk very well on three legs considering I barely knew how to walk on four.
I hovered above the pack of wolves contemplating what I should do. Weariness won out and I slowly made my way upwards to see if I could find a place to rest. With a couple more pained flaps I managed to make it up high enough so the fucked up animals couldn’t get me. Unfortunately I didn’t make it up as high as I needed to be and had to haul my fat ass up the last foot because my wings gave out. Oh well, I got farther than I thought I would.
The branch I was standing on looked sturdy and was fat enough to accommodate myself while laying down. The closer the branch got to the tree though the bigger it got and the stronger it looked, so I opted to painfully shuffle towards the trunk of the tree.
Once I managed to position myself in the crook between trunk and branch I lay down on my (thankfully) uninjured belly. I decided against falling asleep, if those were what wolves were like in this fucked up forest, I wonder what birds, or raccoons looked like. Once again I shivered from the fright the horrid pictures I had conjured in my mind created. To pass the time I decided to look over my injuries.
Besides the ones I couldn’t see, like my eye scratch, which undoubtedly was going to scar ‘fuck me’. My injured left wing wouldn’t fold properly back onto my side and my back right leg wouldn’t curl into the fetal position, instead, opting to splay itself out over the branches edge. I sighed deeply and stopped examining myself.
With my current mindset I would probably make myself sick just looking at the injuries I had sustained. I turned my head forward and rested it on top of my forelegs, the pain keeping me awake and partially alert.
“If there is a fucking God in this fucked up place; I bet he is having a grand ole time screwing with my life.”
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Scott
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Ugh, what the hell happened? One moment, we’re all fighting changelings, and the next, I’m lying here on the ground, apparently just now waking from unconsciousness. Taking a look at my surroundings, the first thing I notice is how sharp everything looks. Like seriously, I can literally examine the grains of wood on a tree ten feet away.
And speaking of trees, I am in some type of forest. Not the nice ones back in good ole Colorado in the mountains, but the type you would see in a really old swamp, just without all the water. Why do these woods look familiar? Bah, it doesn’t matter right now.
As I continue my observation, I notice an object on the ground about five feet away; it’s my iPod. Standing up to go and grab it, I manage to get to my two feet before wobbling unsteadily and then falling down. Alright, that’s rather odd. Why would I have trouble standing up. I look down to my feet, and freeze.
Instead of size thirteen feet, I see black lion paws with a tail of the same color and a tuft of white fur at the end in their place. Oh no, is this like some type of joke?I hold my hands up to my eyes to see black talons with grey claws. No no no no no.
Another few feet away from my iPod is a puddle from a recent rain. Slowly dragging myself over to it, I look down into the small reflective surface. Looking back up at me is a griffon with deep gold eyes, black feathers across his whole face, a grey feather sticking out from his forehead as kind of spike style, and a white crest atop his head. Or should I say my head. A reflection of light in the pool draws my attention to my necklace, which is still there. All it really is is a small silver pendant with the alchemic symbols of the sun and moon stamped onto each side.
I shakily get to my talons and pads, finding that after a few seconds, I actually stop with the shaking bit. Must be my new cat instincts or something. After all, instincts are simply predetermined chemicals within the brain.
Wait a second. Kidnapped by changelings, sent into a dark creepy forest, turned into a black griffon, and a manticore just standing within the treeline. I’m not usually one to jump to conclusions, but I think that I might be in Equestria.
Wait, a manticore just within the treeline?
Oh shit.
Instincts can not help with this problem! I immediately turn away from my fellow lion half breed. What instincts can help with however, are the motor controls in a fight or flight situation. I was instantly onto all of my new feet, and promptly shot off into the woods, grabbing my precious iPod on the way. Hey, gotta have priorities man. I think on the go, and tuck it into the little pocket made by my right wing against my body.
I leap into the thick underbrush and dart as quickly through the forest as I possibly can. It’s rather easy to keep track of the manticore’s progress, what with him just tearing through trees, brambles, and bushes a mere ten feet behind me.
Wow, all this greenery is so thick! I can’t even see three feet in front of me. Using a small part of my mind to think rationally, I realize that I may be able to use my talons as makeshift machetes and cut through some of this growth.
Utilizing my new tools, I easily begin to cut through the forest. Eventually, I find myself stumbling into a small clearing...filled with timberwolves. Oh c’mon! My luck can’t be that bad can it?
Well, at least they’re not manticores. I can fight timberwolves I hope. I hold up my talons. “Alright, come at me boys.”
Instead of jumping me like I expected them to, they started backing up, looking a little afraid. Ah yeah! I knew I was intimidating! I watch them look at me with a little bit of fear. Wait, not me. Something behind me.
I slowly turn my head to see the same manticore looming above me like a pillar of death. Except, this pillar is made of pure muscle and rage.
Some instinct within me jumps out, forcing my wings open and then pushing down to propel me past the wolves and into the branches of a nearby tree.
I hang onto the branch for dear life, watching as the manticore glances at me, then back at the wolves before charging them. As they begin their dance of death, I feel a sharp pain in my back left leg. Looking back, I see a large splinter sticking out of my heel.
It isn’t that bad, but it still hurts. I may want to get it checked soon to make sure it won’t get infected. But for the meantime, I just make sure I get into a more comfortable position while I watch the creatures below sort out their...problems.
It’s rather interesting. Did you know that when they break into pieces, a Timberwolf can control the pieces to immobilize some part of a larger prey? That’s exactly what happened with the manticore’s tail. With its tail out of commision, the manticore resorted to using only its teeth, claws and size to combat the wolves.
I watch with shrinking interest for a few more minutes. Besides, it’s not like they can get me up here. That manticore’s wings look way too small for flight. I look around the clearing at the trees a little more, until my eyes rest on the tree next to me. On it, is sitting a silver pegasus, with a red and black mane and tail, with no cutie mark. And for some reason, he’s staring at me as incredulously. Oh, and around his neck is a necklace, with two nails forming a cross.
I try to ignore him, almost as though everything is normal, but he just keeps staring at me, making it kind of awkward. So, I try to deal with it. “So, how’s your day going?” I ask in the most normal voice possible.
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James
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Stupid wolves, stupid leg, stupid wing, stupid GOD DAMN HORSE BODY! I vent my frustration by snorting, then pause and groan as I realize that is what horses normally do. “God, am i going to be a horse forever, both mind and body? Cause that would fucking suck. Damn changethings or whatever Daniel called them.”
I look down at the hungry wood wolves still surrounding my tree. They eventually got tired of trying to jump up and now were patiently waiting to see if I would fall or break the branch. Well sorry to disappoint you fido but I’m staying up here, even it means I’ll die in this tree... in a random forest... in a foreign body... fuck my life.
A loud roar pierces the treetops, causing the wolves to cease their chatter and look towards the noise. At first they seemed like they would leave and go find some other poor unfortunate animal or human to harass, but what I had dubbed the leader nipped at some of the skittish ones and they resumed their posture around the tree.
A loud crashing noise approached from behind the leader, causing him to whip around. I followed his gaze to a griffin. He and the other wolves started to back up slowly, as if terrified by the beast before them. I cocked my head in puzzlement but then my eyes widened as I lay eyes upon a fucking manticore. What is this, Greek mythology month?
The griffin takes a leap of faith and lands in a nearby tree. 'Just my fucking luck, now I'm going to have another predator after me'
However the griffin seemed to be only interested in the predators below. My eyes left him, for his build suggested male, and stared down at the massacre waiting to happen.
My freakishly large horse eyes were not met with the sight of bloody corpses however, but the sight of 3 wolves dancing around the manticore while the other two had been somehow broken up yet still retained motor control.
I had seen enough to know how it would end. The griffin in the tree next to me was the center of my attention once again. It seemed fascinated by the battle below.
This intrigued me. A griffon is supposedly an animal which isn't supposed to be able to think or be 'fascinated'. I stared in wonderment at the supposed ‘beast’ sitting on a branch.
Then, much to my surprise, it actually started talking to me. “So, how’s your day going?”
I shuffled a bit and awkwardly looked away. I’m acting like a pussy right now but when you are unable to escape from potential predators you tend to be more geared towards survival, not potentially making friends.
”So, do you live around here?” It/he called out. I turned back around and saw him smiling mischievously. Well that’s one way to put me off.
“You know, if you wanna kill me, you might as well do it now while I'm injured and all." I lifted up my injured wing and winced as it screamed in protest.
“Now why in the world would I want to kill a pony?”
This peaks my interest. "Cause you're a creature of mythology that no doubt eats meat. And since I’m just sitting here looking like a prized entree, well…" I'm partially hoping that he won't eat me. Unfortunately my more pessimistic side prevents me from being too excited about the odds of that possibility.
His face portrays deep thought. “Well, two problems with that. One, I’ve never before actually hunted in my life. Two, This body is brand new AND injured. And three, because I’m ignoring my two question statement, I need all the help I can get from the indigenous species, which is you.”
Wow, I happened to run into the ONE griffin that didn't know his way around equestria. Hell he's probably lost. "Wait… WHAT THE FUCK?! NEW BODY? WHAT THE HELL 'THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"
“Weeeell, exactly what I said. A brand new body. I’ve only had it for about...ten minutes I think.”
"Well damn, same here. Fucking changethings, or whatever, COULDN'T LEAVE A POOR GUY ALONE NOOOOOO!" I cease my rant and awkwardly cough into my unusually familiar appendage. "Heh, sorry about that. A lot has happened in the past few hours. Don't know how much more I can take."
“Well, if you’re a pony who lives in Ponyville, then I think you’ll be fine. Unless, you just said you have the same predicament as me, which would be a new body within the past half hour AND kidnapped by changelings, would mean that you are one of the four humans that were trapped within the green bubble with me. And lastly, judging by your attitude, I hereby name you...Mathias!”
The speed at which my hoof made it to my face was extremely impressive. “I hereby name you stupid.” I mean really? the other guy was from Quebec. QUEBEC! “DO I LOOK LIKE A QUEBECER TO YOU!” I said out loud accidently. “Oops, that wasn’t supposed to be outloud. Wait, fuck, why am I apologizing.” A deep sigh manages to make it past my muzzle. Damn I hate this ‘pony’ body already. “I’m guessing by the lack of french curses and or language that you must be Scott, the American with an actual backbone to speak of.”
“Well, you actually look like a pony to me at the moment. And hey, at least you didn’t make the same mistake I did.” The newly identified Scott stole a glance down below. “Oh, we may want to go now. They appear to be in a stalemate.” I followed his gaze to find a most peculiar yet stupid sight. Somehow or another, the manticore had managed to stomp on all of the wolves and turn them into kindling which was now encompassing the entirety of the beast.
I wanted to leave, but there was still one tiny problem. “You know, that sounds like a great idea! As soon as I grow a third wing or somehow manage to heal this one in the next 30 seconds I’ll let you know.” I frowned at his seemingly forgetful personality.
He pauses thoughtfully. “So, it’s gonna be like that,” another pause. “I’ve got some good news and bad news. Obviously, both of our flight equipment is pretty new, and in your case, damaged. So the only way off this branch is gravity.”
“If that’s the good news, why bother with the bad?”
“The good news is, most your legs seems to be in working condition. Or at least, I hope they will be after falling, but if I fall first, I should be able to either catch you or soften your fall.”
“So falling into the midst of a battle that will probably end with the manticore getting killed in someway shape or form is your brilliant idea? I prefer old age to being ripped apart.”
“Well, it’s either wait here for the manticore to rip free of the timberwolf shards, then fly up and eat us, or we jump now, and get a possible head start or lose him. Your choice pony, or do your new instincts keep you from taking risks?”
That motherfucking son of a bitch! I grit my teeth and tried to calm myself, thinking about homicide was not going to solve anything. “I’m. Not. A. Pony. Never have, never will be. As for my ‘instincts’ they are currently telling me not to commit suicide. I can’t run and I can’t fly. So unless you would like to volunteer as a carrier pigeon I’m perfectly content to stay up here.”
He looks back down and i see that the manticore has managed to partially free itself. “Well, we don’t have the time for any bruised pride, so I’ll jump down first and then catch you.”
“God, the things i do... Fine.”
“Excellent! Now, all I have to do is drop.” He steps off the branch and lands safely on his... feet? ”Ah yeah! Talk about cat-like reflexes!” He looks back up expectantly. “Alright, go ahead and drop! I’ll catch you!”
I look back down at him and take a deep breath. “If i break another leg, i don’t care how long it takes me to catch you, i will pummel you to death.” I close my eyes and leap, managing to hold in the loud obscenity that tried to force its way out of my mouth.
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Scott
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I rear up onto my hind paws at the right moment to catch James, grabbing him with my talons. The unexpected amount of weight forces me to fall over, forming a pile on top of James. While dazed for a few seconds, I feel something...soft under my talons.
I take a quick look to realize that I’m still holding James around his barrel. “Well, you’re certainly quite soft now.”
“If i didn’t need you so badly i would knock your fucking head off. Now let me go dammit!” He begins to squirm in my grasp, forcing me to let go of him. Well, someone’s a bit grumpy. But then again, I would be to if I was turned into a soft tiny pegasus. But still! The excitement I felt when I saw him as a pegasus and realizing that I really was in Equestria! Nothing can replicate that feeling.
However, we have bigger problems at the moment; such as a manticore about to free itself from a wooden prison. It had gotten much more desperate once it began to run out of air, making it start to tear at the wood even faster. “Well, sorry James for your hurt pride and leg, but we don’t have time to worry about that right now. Unless you want to have a lot more hurt than that.”
He huffs with indignation. "Fine, but no more comments on the texture of my fur!" I shrug, as if to say whatever, and turn to leave, walking at a brisk pace.
I check behind me to see if he’s able to keep up with his bad leg, just to see him going a little slower than me, but still limping on that one hind leg. I wait for him to catch up, and then continue walking at a pace more suitable for him.
However, after thirty minutes of walking at a speed slower than that of a snail, my patience grows thin. “Ok James. Do you want me to carry you or something? I promise I won’t make any comments about your fur.”
“Well i doubt Mr. Manticore will take his own sweet time catching up to us, so if you would like to go faster i’m afraid i will have to be... helped.” Alright, to be honest, I truly felt for him. I mean, he’s pretty much having to give up on his pride as not only a human, but a predator altogether! The only hope for him now is if the brony theory about pegasi eating fish is correct.
Without any further ado or making the situation more awkward by waiting, I grab him by the mane and toss him onto my back. He struggles to find his balance for a few seconds, but finally manages to keep from slipping off. I turn my head to look back at him and make sure he’s fine, unable to hide the mirth in my eyes at seeing his predicament. He just replies with a simple, “Fuck you.”
I shrug, since it was obviously not my fault he got ambushed by a pack of timberwolves. “Hey, ever hear of the saying ,’Don’t bite the hand that feeds you?’ I’m trying to make sure you get out alive, when I could just leave you for the manticore,” I tell him as innocently as possible. I hold up a talon to show him that for now I just want him to be quiet. He obviously doesn’t want to, but he shuts up anyways.
I begin my walking, just letting the instincts take control until I feel a bit more comfortable with it. That’s when I realize something a bit odd. Or, as odd as things can currently get. It’s James riding on my back; it doesn’t feel weird at all. In fact, it feels like I was meant to carry living and injured beings. Great, now I’m a pack mule.
As we, well I, walk, both of us keep trying to find ways to alleviate our boredom.There were a few rounds of eye spy, but it didn’t last very long, seeing as how everything was green. A few games of rock-paper-scissors came and went with a little strife. Let’s just say that James knows I’m an asshole, but after realizing why I kept winning every single round, he refused to interact with me in any way afterwards.
I retreat back into my own thoughts, placing my body on semi-auto pilot to keep making progress. So, just as a recap, I’ve been kidnapped by changelings, sent to Equestria, turned into a black griffon, barely escaped a manticore and a pack of timberwolves, and am now carrying James, who just so happened to be turned into a pegasus, through the Everfree Forest. Yeah, I’m surprised I haven’t gone insane yet.
Finally, James decides to break his silence towards me. “Much to my chagrin this is actually fairly comfortable, are you sure you haven’t served as a taxi before?”
So, now he’s trying to get back at me for that whole thing about him being soft. Although, he does have every right to be mad at me after that comment. “Well, I do try to make my passengers comfortable on occasion.”
“How big is this fucking forest? My pride can’t take much more of this humiliation...” While it is rather comfortable for him to be riding me, (NO HOMO) I am inclined to agree.
“Well, from what I’ve been able to tell, this is the Everfree Forest, which is pretty big.” I think back to my days as a human and remember a map of Equestria. “If I remember correctly, there should be two different towns on the border of this forest; Ponyville and Dodge City.”
He perks up at my hypothesis. “And since when did you become the expert on strange alternate universes?” Well, I might as well break it to him, since he seems to retarded to figure it out on his own. But then again, in his defense, he wasn’t a brony.
“Well, to be honest, I’m not. There’s only truly two alternate worlds I am an expert in; Halo, and My Little Pony.” I say the first one with pride, but sort of mumble the second one. “And seeing as how we were turned into a pony and a griffon, kidnapped by changelings, AND chased by a pack of timberwolves and a manticore, I think it’s safe to say we’re in Equestria.”
"I'm sorry… what? I caught that one about halo, nice game by the way, that last one was mumbled though. What the hell is Equestria?!" I sigh, knowing he won’t take the information well, and will most likely take it out on me.
“I said My Little Pony. The country we’re in is called Equestria and is ruled by two sisters who raise and lower the moon and sun.” I wait for his response with trepidation.
"To quote a famous movie actor; 'Bull shit'." Well, he took it better than I expected, but still took it badly.
“Yeah, hard for me to believe too. However, all evidence points to it. In fact, you see those blue flowers over there?” I point towards a patch of what was obviously poison joke. “That is a patch of poison joke. Yeah, corny name I know.”
"Okay, let's just say, for convenience, that I, for some reason, believe you. What does that mean for us?"
“A good question. Right now, we’re in the most dangerous part of Equestria, so we need to find either a town or shelter before night falls. after that? I have no idea. I tend to live in the present.” I really hope that he’s one of those planner types, because I really don’t have any idea what we’re going to do in the future.
"Well damn… fucking wolves. Flight would be SO helpful right now." He lets out a sigh to the world. "Oh well, I'm guessing by your mention of living in the present means you don't plan well?" Bingo!
“Pretty much. Anything else you want to know right now?” Better be some type of question I can answer.
“Well since I still don’t believe you, no.” Phew, that’s even better; no more having to talk! I don’t say anything else as we continue to walk through the forest. However, I have a feeling of unease continuously growing within me. We haven’t been bothered ever since our encounter with the manticore, and I don’t know why.
I shake myself a little. “I need to pick the pace up a little, so tell me if any of your wounds become agitated.”
“By all means, get us out of this god forsaken forest, who gives a damn about me anyways.”
“Well, I do. After all, I want my decoy to still be alive when I use it.” What? I couldn’t resist, and I also wanted to remind him that he is at my mercy.
“Yeah yeah, fuck you... can we skip the arguing and go straight to the part where we make it out of here alive and go back to our normal lives after finding some all powerful being or something, and going on a quest and learning something valuable?”
“It’s not that easy. Never is. Although, the worst case scenario is that we’re seen as freaks by the royalty and thrown into jail for the rest of our lives. But I don’t think that’ll happen; they’re both pretty cool rulers.” I look up at the sky, now realising just how kate it is getting to be. “Hey, be on the lookout for some type of shelter we can use. I don’t think we’re getting out of this forest tonight.”
“Alright, fine, might as well make myself useful.” He pauses for a moment, and I can practically see the question form on his tongue. “Hang on a second, what else do you know about this fucked up place?”
Well, that’s a pretty broad question, but I’ll answer the best I can. “Well, I do know ponies tend to avoid this place, there’s a weird snake-chicken that takes the job of a basilisk, and there’s bears that look like the night sky and are bigger than a city.” I probably didn’t even cover half of the stuff in this nightmare of a forest. Even by human standards, this is not a place you would want to stay the night.
"Sounds like a wonderful assortment of creatures. However i am not a zoologist, nor plan on being one so I would prefer to NOT meet any of those." Really? This guy is a genius! Of course we don’t want to meet any of these creatures!
“I agree, which is why we must find a spot to stay for the night. Any cave, or maybe even a small space under some tree roots word work.” Hmm, in fact, I think I see a possible cave in the cliff face way over there.
"Okay… would that work?" He gestures to a cave in the cliff face I noticed. "Of course that's disregarding the fact that there might be occupants that is."
Well what do ya know, we noticed the cave at the same time. “Yeah, that should work for shelter tonight.” I change my course so we’re heading in that direction.It doesn’t take long to get there; only about five minutes.
Once we do get there, I find a suitable spot and lay James down on the ground gently. “Well, I have no idea how to make a fire from nothing, but it seems we’re in luck; I don’t think it’ll get all that cold tonight.”
“More likely than not it will be cold now that you’ve said that. I’m also out of luck in the fire department, as i would probably fail at picking up and lighting stuff on fire,” He says to me irritatedly.
I laugh at the thought of him trying to pick stuff up with his hooves. He just gives me a glare in response. “You’d probably light that puffy tail of your’s on fire if you tried.”
I just shrug. “Probably. Neither of us are used to these new bodies anyways, so we’ll only hurt ourselves if we try to do anything dangerous at the moment.” A sharp pain my leg reminds me of my wounds. “Our current state is proof of that.”
“Please, don’t remind me…” I chuckle again at his sour mood. I know I shouldn’t laugh, seeing as how I’m in the same situation, but hey, we all cope in our own ways. I choose to laugh about the problem instead of freak out. “Don’t make me bite you.”
“What, with those teeth? Do I really do need to remind you that you’re no longer a predator?” I walk back outside and gather some of the fallen leaves to make a couple of piles for us to use as beds.
He looks dejected at my comment about his teeth. I sigh. “Look, there’s no point in complaining about it right now. In fact, all we CAN do right now is try to survive. So get some sleep, and we’ll talk more in the morning.”
“Sleep, something that I took for granted now seems so… satisfying.” And with that, we both drift off into the wonderful land of dreams.
Quebeckers to Quebecmares
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Mathias Duquet
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I opened my eyes, only to be faced by the bane of anybody waking up; the sun. I raised my arm to block that unholy light, only to be ticked by something attached to my arm. Grass... wait, are we outside? They failed!? Hurray~! I rolled on my belly, allowing me to look at the ground instead of the bright sky.
I looked at the ground and tried to stand up, but the slight pain coming from the movement of my limbs only led me to cease any action. I just stayed on the ground, laying my head on my side. I had some stuff below my eyes, but just shrugged it off as dirt. I stayed there for a good five minutes before feeling a weird, but good feeling. I never knew laying on grass could feel so... good.
However, I was getting tired of staying at the same place, even though the feeling was nice. In one movement, without thinking twice, I jumped up on my legs. Haha, my mind has nothing on me... wait, my center of equilibrium feels weird. I could feel my legs giving under me. I fell forward and landed on my arms, which were mysteriously the same length at my legs.
Wait, biologically speaking, that’s impossible. I finally looked at my arm and saw that my normally peach colored skin was now a shade of pink. At first I thought it was an optical illusion caused by a shadow cast on my arm, but looking between my arms showed me that my legs had the same shade in color, yet the shadows were different. Maybe what they tried worked after all.
I looked around and saw a conveniently placed water puddle for me to look in. I moved my arm and legs in a rhythmic fashion, trying to keep my face off the ground. After reaching the target, located a mere 4 meters away, I finally got a glimpse of myself... or something else entirely.
What I saw in the puddle was something that could have came from a kid show. I was literally a pink pony. My manliness... is about... about... gone. I stared at the water, trying to process everything that is going through my mind. Instead of falling into insanity, I’ve decided to process this as ‘normal’ and managed to dodge the death of my consciousness.
O kay, this is not bad. Nothing worse can happen, right? I looked at my(?) reflection and decided to analyze it instead of refusing it. Okay... I still have my blue eyes, but I look so... different. That’s when I saw some dark spots sprouting around my eye. Wait... is my eye turning into a black eye. D*MN YOU SCOTT, even in my dream and/or my new life, you leave a mark on me... where is he now?
I looked around and saw that I was alone. Looks like I am alone in this forest. I’m still saying, for my mental record, that I still think that this is a dream or a hallucination. I looked at my legs and wondered how I walked to this puddle. Okay, remember your dog, remember that horse you saw few times and remember your little brother. They are all quadrupeds. What can I learn from their walking pattern? I simply closed my eyes and let my body do its job.
Leaving my eyes closed, I started walking into a random direction. Okay, let’s analyze my movements. Front right, back left, front left, back right... it makes a sideway hourglass symbol. I continued to walk, trying to apply what I’ve analyze, only to feel a pain under my hoof. I started to jump, my eyes opening to see that I’ve stepped on some spiky flower.
I jumped on my back hooves, holding my injured hoof. I accidentally moved forward, only to trip over something on the ground. “Criss de tabarnak, just my d*mn f*cking luck!” I shouted while placing my hooves on the ground, lifting my injury. I swear, god... or whoever is taking care of this damn place is having it’s share of fun against myel.
Suddenly, I stopped, my eyes growing wide. My mind suddenly decided to do some math and realized something important. My voice sounded high pitched, my ‘fur’ is pink and, something that I’ve just remembered, I had long hair. By combining all those thing, I established a theory on what happened to me. To be sure of my guess, I’ve decided to look far off between my legs. What I saw was something that I’ve never seen anywhere except my computer.
I was stuck into a mindless daze. The idea of all this being a dream was flashing in bright red inside my head. I mean, how can this be real life? My friends disappeared, my body changed and I literally became somebody new. What kind of twisted mindfuck my brain is making me go through. Is it angry because I forced myself to stop drinking redbull or may-...
A little girl’s voice stirred me out of my mind, leaving me in a state between crazy and sane. “Mathias?” I looked around for the source of the voice, only to see that it was coming from the thing I tripped on. It was a pink furball with a face... or a smaller horse. Then, with a defeated voice, she said, “Buck me.”
I was confused by the last statement, but more by the first. “How... do you know my name... Oh, right. I’m in a dream, everybody knows my name.” I stated, still oblivious to everything.
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Daniel Picard
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Grr, who the hell decided it would be such a good idea to kick me on the side? Not that it made much of a difference considering that my body was aching overall, including my head which decided to drink too much iced cappuccino while my brain was on vacation, but that still wasn’t very nice.
Said brain finally finished rebooting at a speed that made Windows look like Sonic when I heard a rather colorful expletive “Criss de tabarnak, just my d*mn f*cking luck!” With the functionalities of brain.os back, I recovered memories I would have prefered to have lost from the swap. For once in my life I wished I was actually drunk. Because being reminded that I was captured by Changelings and then went through a failed offensive because Scotty tripped, was so much more coherent than any drunk story. We should have left him in Engineering, I do not like being used as a red shirt.
In any case, that voice could only belong to the other Quebecer of our little group so I decided to let him know that I was awake even if I did not feel like opening my eyes yet. But the sound that resonated wasn’t my voice, “Mathias?” The voice was both of a high pitch and soft, almost like the one of a... girl...
Considering that the chances of someone deciding to say the same thing as me at the exact time while I was mute was close to none (then again, I seemed I had a lot of the bad kind of luck). This could only mean that the voice came from... me.
This weird realization made me quickly open my eyes, only to be met by the blinding light of the Sun. This was just my luck... Thankfully, my eyes adjusted quickly enough for my vision to return to normal. Or more precisely as normal it could be considering the blaring pink spot on the bottom of my vision. Oh no! Please don’t be what I think it is. I first tried to move my fingers on my right hand to invalidate my crazy hypothesis, but lack of response didn’t augur anything good. This time I tried to move the whole arm just in case it was asleep like the last couple of times. Unfortunately, the movement worked and brought a pink appendage in front of my eyes. A furry pink appendage ending in a hoof.
“Buck me.” It seemed strangely appropriated to say a ponified curse considering what I just discovered, though the sound of a girl saying those words in shock sounded really weird. I read too many Human in Equestria fics to ignore that my body had changed into the shape of a pony, female at that. Considering what the changeling leader had said about the anchor, that meant that I was stuck in Equestria, with them able to find us. Great, I’m living the dream of so many Bronies at the moment, I wonder how much they’d like the gender swap though... Or being captured by Changelings.
The voice from before grab back my attention, “How... do you know my name... Oh, right. I’m in a dream, everybody knows my name.” This time around though, I notice that the voice is female. How did I manage not to notice that the first time around? Oh well, at least I’m not the only who have exchanged an important part of his anatomy. I should probably keep using the male gender to refer to Mathias though, out of respect.
On the other hand, I did not like the significance of his second sentence, so I decided to try to bring my fellow Quebecer to reality (no matter how weird it was), “It me Picard, Mr. Spock. It seem we had a teleportation error.” I tried my best to move my head until I could see my companion and I was quite shocked at what I saw, “Oh my! You are a rather big pink pony.” Was he bigger than normal or was it me that was smaller? Knowing my current luck, it was probably the latter. I was now officially a pink pony filly. Buck me indeed.
“Are you calling me fat, Picard? ‘Cause I’ll let you know that teleportation is bad for your health. You look like you shrunk down. HAH!” It seem that someone have a problem with his weight, not that I have any idea what was normal for our new form. From what I could tell, Mathias had neither a horn (which was probably a good thing considering his current emotional state) or wings so he was an earth pony. It might be a good idea not to voluntary insult him while I was so close to him. At least it wasn’t James... I really didn’t want to see him with extra strength. Also, I noticed that he was wearing a black pendant around his neck. The front part of it alternated between black cylinders and small blue gems. In the middle, there was a silver dolphin with a darker blue gem in the place of its eye. If the gems were real, that pendant must be worth a fortune. Or not that much considering that gems are abundant in Equestria. “Sorry, I’m going bat-shit crazy. Luckily for me, I’m in a dream and you’re a figment of my imagination.” Unfortunately, it seemed that my last reference to Star Trek wasn’t enough to make him snap out of it,
“Sorry Neo, but you are no longer in the Matrix. You took the red pill.” Hopefully this time it will work. Sometimes, I wish that people would react more like I do. I mean, I get that waking up as a pink female pony might ruin your day, but you need priorities. For example, panicking in a big scary forest wasn’t the best of ideas; you should wait that you are relatively safe first to do so. At least we didn’t wake up in the Everfree forest being pursued by either timberwolves or a manticore; that would have been unfortunate.
I was about to try to stand up when he gave an answer that made me facepalm, (facehoof? I wonder if I should start to try to ponify my terminology). “I’m sorry, but I’ve never watched the Matrix. Is the blue pill really viagra?” Okay, he might be a lost cause. I decided to ignore him at the moment and finally stand on my four legs, but I made the mistake of concentrating my weight on by back legs like I usually did. Obviously they flinched and I tripped forward, head first right into Mr. I am Dreaming.
My head welcomed his front legs, my mouth let out a cute ‘Ouch’ at the same time. This voice will take awhile to get used to. Actually, that impact might just be the way to finally convince him of the unfortunate truth of the situation. “You do know that you can’t get hurt in a dream?”
“Yeah... so? I didn’t get hurt. You’re too small to even hurt me. You got hurt more than me on this one.” Ok, now SHE (I tried to stay polite pal, but I had enough of your stubbornness) is getting on my nerves. We don’t have all day. Especially considering that we don’t even know where we are...
“Oh, so that cute string of words had nothing to do with tripping on me, MOMMY?”
“Well......” The good news is that I seemed to successfully convince her that she wasn’t a dreaming. The bad news is that I think I broke her if her big frozen wide eyes were of any indication. Or the drool coming from her mouth dropping right... under... her...
I lost no time jumping backwards to keep a safe distance from the uncouth liquid the buzzing of my wings propelling me faster than i could normally. Thankfully, I managed to react quickly enough to avoid a single drop and I even managed to stay up! Yay!
“The theorem of pizza only uses three potatoes compared to french fries. Sadly, the neutral particle of popcorn has 1- electron, thus exploding the milky way into chocolate rain. Wait, if you add ice cream, I just cured cancer.” Discord would have been proud of her madness. She was a little too broken at the moment. Maybe I should leave her some time to recover and check the rest of my body. After all, I only knew that I was a filly with a pink coat so far. Wait a second, the buzzing of my wings?
I rotated my head to have a better view of my ‘lower’ body. I have so say that it felt weird to move it considering the considerable increased length and flexibility of my neck. Behind me, I noticed a rather long messy tail bearing the colors red and yellow in an equal amount. But the most important feature for me was the two feathery pink appendage on both of my side. I totally did not react like the filly I looked like.
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Mathias Duquet
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My mind was a rubix cube and I was the only one that could solve it. Naturally, there was no internet and the rubix cube was 100x100x100 with a memory on each squares. Thus, I didn’t know what color or what memory went together. Well, this time, my reality couldn’t have been more shattered.
I took the cube, which was, mysteriously enough, small for its amount of squares, and threw it in the distance. Is there a way to go back to reality or am I going to be stuck in my mind for eternity. Not that I am complaining or anything, but I’m starting to feel a presence near me.
I stood up and realized that I was back as a human. I turned around to look at the nothingness of my head, only to face a wall with my shadow on it. To my surprise, it became bigger and bigger, becoming almost three times my height. As it grew bigger, I melted into my new pink pony body. When the transformation was complete, the shadow walked out of the wall.
“Would you look at that. And you call yourself a man, pink horse. All I can see is a piece of shit stained with blood.” It said, hurting me inside. The comparison made me cringe.
“Who... what are you?” I asked, unsure. I knew that I was in my mind, but I didn’t know what would happen if I died inside myself. The monster laughed, crouching to look me in the eyes.
“I’m your yin, I’m your black, I’m your masculinity... I’m part of who you are... or were.” He said in his demonic voice. I started to back off. Wait, don’t tell me that I’m mad at myself for turning into a pink female pony. s’ not even my fault.
“Look, don’t get me wrong, I liked living here. It was cozy, clean and you were intelligent enough to keep away from drugs. Sadly, you decided that you wanted to get rid of me. Don’t say crap like ‘Oh, it’s not even my fault.’” He imitated my new voice at 100%. This guy... me... I’m starting to creep myself out. “YOU are the pink horse and YOU fired ME from MY JOB!” He shouted, each words stabbing me like a searing hot knife.
“Uhh... I never ‘fired’ you... I only became a female. It’s not like I’m renouncing to my bad side or anything.” I said, confused. He shook his head with a ‘tsk tsk; sound. He stood up and started walking away.
“Oh really? Looks like you don’t do your homework properly.” He snapped his fingers, making a scroll and a pair of black rimmed glasses appear in his hand. After placing them on his face, he started to read.
“Ahem, as a new member of the Pony race, said newcomer must follow strict rules, such as reducing the amount of pain, hate, anger or anything related to their ‘dark side’.” The scroll disappeared and he crushed the glasses in his hand. So, cancel the evil side and cancel masculinity... yup, you’re pretty much useless here.
“Yeaaah... that’s a bit awkward. You have good reasons to be mad at me, but only one problem... it’s not my fault.” I stated. His face turned red with anger as I started to back off. I could tell this was not going to end well. I turned around and started to run away, only for a wall to appear in front of me. I looked around and saw that we were in a big arena.
“I don’t give a shit anymore, it’s either you or me, pony.” He said before ramming into me. I sadly took the hit, my reflex not quick enough to anticipate the shock. I hit the wall flat as I felt some of my bones breaking. WHAT THE F*CK!?!?
I saw him, right in front of me, holding a gun. My eyes grew wide as I was waiting for the death of my soul. Suddenly, an invisible force pushed him back to the other side of the arena. I opened my eyes and saw a light ball floating in front of me.
“You are in your mind. You can do whatever you want.” It said. Before I could respond, the ball disappeared, leaving me with the angry man. Anything... I want? I started to smile from ear to ear. Anything...
I stood up at the same time as the one that I will now call Nega. He looked at me with anger and confusion. “HOW DARE YOU! YOU WILL DIE!!!” He shouted before running at me. I closed my eyes and concentrated.
“Gate of Opening... OPEN!” I said while opening my eyes. I felt the energy surging all around my body as my blood started flowing even faster than normal. I started to charge him with all of my speed. Right before we went face to face, however, I used my newfound speed to jump over him and buck him meters away.
I turned around quickly and grinned evilly. “Gate of Healing... OPEN!” I shouted. I started running as quick as possible, allowing me to get behind him while he was still in midair. Wow, I’m fast. No wonder Rock Lee is that badass. I headbutted his back and made him fly straight up for at least five meters.
I can’t believe it’s working! I closed my eyes for I knew was the last time. “Gate of Life... OPEN!” I could feel the energy flow all around me and inside me. I opened my eyes and saw that my fur was a mix of red and pink. Well, looks like my blood flow is increasing even more.
When he landed on me, I stood on my front hooves and pushed up with all my strength. I started throwing kick after kick simultaneously, traveling higher into the air. When I was at least 20 meters in the sky, I grabbed him using my four legs. “Eight Gates - Advanced Lotus.” I started rotating with him in my grasp until we reached a higher G force. Using that force and gravity, we collided on the floor like missile, his head hitting the ground and me jumping off at the last second. His body fell limp on the floor.
Before he woke up, however, I decided to take a chance to get rid of him. “Kage Bushin no Jutsu!” (Multi Shadowclone Jutsu). In a square formation around the fallen body, three clones of me appeared. They all stomped their hooves into the ground, shouting their techniques. Red chains appeared on Nega’s body, locking him on the floor.
It was my turn to stomp. “Fuinjitsu - Benihisago Sealing Technique.” I used my mind to create an item to seal him in. Instead of a specific item, I just thought ‘Anything will do.’ In front of me appeared an item, but I didn’t take the time to look at it. The item sucked the limp body inside itself, leaving only the clothes. Well, at least the speed of the sealing was enough to blur his parts.
I finally opened my eyes and saw, right in front of my muzzle, a barbie doll with dark hair and red skin. Did I really sealed my dark side in a girl doll? Oh my god, I sure hope that he never escapes from there. He’ll kill me. I looked around and saw my clones disappearing. Looks like this fight is finally over.
Suddenly, the glowing ball returned. I backed off in surprise as it changed into a human form. When the light faded, my eyes beheld a very cute woman. She had long blond hair and blue eyes. It took me awhile to realize that she was actually me, if I were female.
“You did it. As long as he was alive, I was locked inside that stupid sphere. Now that you...” She looked at the doll and giggled. “...sealed that corrupted man inside that Barbie.... Barbe* doll, I’ll be able to take back your body. It’s going to take some time to regain that lost balance, but don’t worry, you will be fine.” I was going to say something else, but it’s like if she read my mind. “Yes, because you lost part of your male side, you will act more like a female. I wouldn’t bother, because it fits your character more.”
She raised her arm and I felt my body lifted into the air. With one last smile, she closed her hand and I felt heat going through my body. “Good luck, pony. You will need it. And I’ll make it so you will not faint like this again. I don’t want you to be in danger because of this.” She said before fading into darkness.
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I opened my eyes and cleaned the side of my mouth. Wait, is that... drool? Eww. I shook my arm by reflex, trying to remove the liquid. Seeing that it was not going to be removed easily, I cleaned it using the grass on the ground.
I heard a voice near me. “Yes yes yes yes yes!!!” I turned my head and saw a little pink furball jumping around with her little wings buzzing around. I stared at her until I realized she didn’t know that I was no longer unconscious.
“Uhh... Daniel? Are you... okay?” I asked her. After few attempts, she finally stopped and listened to me. She looked at me, obviously embarrassed.
“Eh... Yes...” She stated, looking at the ground. I stood up, slowly walked near her and rubbed her head with my hoof.
“Why were you saying yes over and over again?” I asked her.
“Oh, hmm.... I noticed that I had wings. I might have gotten a little too excited...” She looked around the forest. “We should get out of the forest... I might have attracted undesirable creatures...” She said, sounding scared. I looked at her and smiled.
“Aww, are you scared? I thought you would be more courageous than that.” I taunted.
“Right, and you happen to be an expert on Equestria creatures? After all, dragons, manticores and timberwolves are nothing to be scared about...” I stared at her. Did she said... dragons? Nah, she can’t be serious.
“Okay. You are telling me that there are fire breathing dragons, a lion scorpion mythological creature and wolves made out of wood?” I said in a silly voice, like if she was imagining things.
“Yep. Let not forget the god of chaos and disharmony, changelings and... parasprites. So... could we get away while Murphy is still busy?” I stared at her, but was still confused at her new names.
“Wait, gods? Parasprites? What t-” I asked before being cut by the little filly.
She started to look around, nervous. “Let.. let just get out of here before we meet the neighborhood... You saw what the changelings could do? The others would just be a lot worse!” She started to push me toward my bag, staying stuck to my leg. Wow, she is reaaally scared. I wonder why... did she see one of those creatures? I wondered.
I grabbed my bag, placing the iPod and the clothes inside. After placing it on my back, I saw something small and black on the floor. “Hey my phone!” She grabbed it with her mouth, but when she realized that she had no pockets, she looked at me.
I grabbed the device with my mouth from her mouth, making me feel a bit weird, and placed it in my pack. “Since you don’t have any pockets, I guess I can take care of it.” I looked around and I wondered where to go. “I don’t think you know where to go, right?”
“No, but going straight foward have to get us out of the forest.” I shrugged at her logic. I knew that staying there wouldn’t be better anyway. I pointed in a random direction and started walking this way, the filly glued to my leg. I guess I should get used to it.
Suddenly, my mind stopped to a halt. If all of this isn’t a dream, then I really am naked in the middle of a forest right beside a young one. “Uhh… I just realized I am naked.” I started crouching into a small ball, trying to hide what was already hidden.
She froze beside me, looking at her body, then mine. She blushed red on her pink fur. ”Why did you need to remind me that ponies stay naked for most part…” We both stared at each other, our faces redder than ever.
I’ve decided to bring my VSauce logic in this conversation. “Because of social norms, what controls our actions most of the time, tells us that clothing is normal. God dammit, we’re naked with no clothes. What are we going to do? My… thing is out in the open.” I turned so the front of my body face the little filly. I wanted my back to be far from her.
“Let just pretend that the fur covering us is some kind of… pyjama?”She moved her head to look at my tail. ”As for the other thing, I think that your tail kind of hide that part most of the time…” She said, her face becoming pink again. I nodded, a bit sick.
“I’m just gonna forget this conversation and my social norms. Let’s just walk.” I said, trying to forget that clothes even existed.
She muttered something that i heard easily using my new pony ears. ”I wish it were that simple.” She continued to walk beside me, still sticking to my leg. She thinks that I’m gonna be able to protect her from all those monsters., but I’m almost as weak as her.
As we were walking, she moved onto my front leg and started talking in a really low voice. ”You don’t have much to worry about Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, he should still be sealed away considering that the forest still looks like a forest.” I didn’t know who she was talking about, but from the early list of monsters she talked about, I linked that name to the god creature.
She shook her head. When I looked at her, I saw that she was even more frightened than earlier. I instinctively nuzzled her, confused of why I did that. It seemed to have worked, because she was able to talk more. “If I am right, we are somewhere in Equestria because of the changelings’ anchor.” Oh, that painful thing. I guess that everything painful must keep reappearing. When I saw that she had problem keeping up with me and my long legs... well, longer than hers, I shoved a foreleg under her and placed her on my back.
“Eep!” She sounded in surprise when I grabbed her, but when she realized that it was me, she let herself relax on my back. She placed herself comfortable in my fur and, feeling secure, she continued to talk. She sighed before, however. “I know I may look like a child, but you could have warned me first...” I laughed in my head. You even talk like a filly. How cute.
“In any case, if we are truly in the ponies’ territory, there could be two beings that might be able to help us. But I’d prefer not to rush things...” I looked at her with confusion using my new flexible neck.
“Uhh... who are you talking about? I need to know all the details before venturing into this world.” I told her. She sighed again. Wow, if she continues to sigh like that, she’ll break her jaw. I joked.
”Okay, keep in mind that this is information I gathered from a cartoon, so it might not be accurate. Oh, and it is a magical place if being a pastel pink pony didn’t make it obvious to you.” I looked at her with a deadpan expression. I wanted to shout ‘no shit’, but my brain told me to stop swearing in front of the kid. What the hell are you talking about, brain. I don’t pay you to be all motherly and stuff.
“Yeah, I kinda saw that.” I said instead, turning my head back forwards so as to see where I was going.
“So, let start with the basic. The ponies are rules by two princesses. The first one is named Celestia and she is responsible for rising the Sun each morning while her younger sister, Luna, takes care of the Moon. Though Luna was sealed on the Moon for a thousand years for a reason that I will not go into about.” I stopped moving and stared at her.
“So, you are telling me that two horses are controlling the celestial bodies like two kids playing with a ball? A movement only caused by gravitational effects caused by the galaxies over time?” I asked her with grave seriousness.
“Yep!” She said with a large smile. She is taking this mighty lightly. I mean, it’s just something impossible. Magic, duh~! I thought. She continued to talk, but with a darker voice, only making her funnier. ”And it is pony!”
There was an awkward silence as she cleared her throat and I resumed my walking. ”If there is somepony that can help us, it will be them. The problem is that I don’t know if they have any knowledge about humans... Considering the various fics I read, the worst that could happen is that they outright kill us.” I always looove ‘worst case scenarios’. I thought sarcastically.
“This is why I think that the best plan of action is to blend in with the local populace to gather more information if possible and possibly find the two others. We should try to avoid both Canterlot, the Equestrian capital, also the place where the Princesses live, and Ponyville, where the Elements of Harmony live. I’d prefer not to encounter Twilight so soon.” She started shaking. I don’t know who that Twilight is, but I’m sure hoping she’s not as scary as Dan makes it appear to.
Suddenly, I realized the use of a word throughout the conversation that caught my attention. “Let’s backtrack on the conversation a bit... did you said ‘somepony’? Like somebody pony? Was that an error or did I just hear wrong?” I asked the filly.
“Yes, you heard right. Ponies don’t use the same expressions as us. For example, they use anypony or somepony when talking about other ponies. They also use Celestia or Luna instead of God and there is a couple of pony puns. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised that the changelings were talking Equestrian which somehow happen to be a variant of English...” I stared at her. Okay, I also need to change the way I speak. Do I need to change my personality too?
She continued her explication. “They probably also have a variant of French, so we should keep it for situations where we don’t want others to understand us.” She leaned on my back and yawned. ”You know that your mane is incredibly soft?” She stated. Let’s add ‘pony pillow’ to the list of things I’m good at.
“Don’t you sleep on me Dan. I need to know more. You want me to disguise as grass with a suit made of ketchup right now. Give me the right tools to do so.” I looked behind me to meet her eyes, but they drifted to my ass. “Also, I don’t remember loving cake enough to tattoo one on my ass.” I said as I stared at said tattoo.
She raised her head and looked at me. ”Don’t worry, I’ll stay awake even if you do make a good pillow.” She placed her head back and whispered something that I barely heard. ”I do feel exhausted though... I wonder if it have to do with the changes...” She then placed herself to look at me while leaning. ”The tattoo on your ass as you so beautifully said is called a Cutie Mark. It appears once a pony finds their special talent, what make them special.”
She smiled, looking embarrassed a bit. ”I kind of missed it earlier... Well, at least you won’t stand out as it would be weird for a pony your age not to have one. That makes your disguise green ketchup now.” Hahaha, way to turn my joke at me.
After walking for few minutes in silence, she started to giggle. It took few seconds before laughing a bit too loudly. I quickly turned my head and stared at her. “Why are you laughing?” I asked her. She pointed my head and I tried to look. Naturally, I failed because it was on top of my head. “I can’t see, what’s wrong?”
“Didn’t your ears feel a little strange a moment ago?” I looked at her, curious. She continued to giggle, but stopped suddenly. ”Sorry, I must be tired... Anyway, your ears moved toward me when I talked to myself.” I stared at her. That’s it? He sounds like a little child... wait a minute... Nah. it’s impossible.
“That’s it? If you must know, Missie, you have weird ears too.” I stated. She sighed and closed her eyes.
”I know... I could do with a better fur color or gender too...” She sighed again. I could feel the sadness emanating from her. ”How are you holding up? You were rather shocked earlier.” She asked me. I looked at her with a large smile.
“Look, when you seal your corrupted male self using a made up Naruto jutsu in your mind during a mental breakdown, nothing can break you anymore.” I said, explaining what happened to me in one simple line. She stared at me, confused.
She nodded slowly. ”Right...” I knew that she wouldn’t believe me, but I didn’t care. Who would believe me with such a story?
“So, considering your Cutie Mark I’ll take a guess and say that you are a good cook?” I looked at her and started to think. Well, I can do well in a kitchen. I thought.
“I know what to do in a kitchen and I’m good at making pastries. Don’t you dare say something about a kitchen woman. I used to be a man, period.”
She sighed again. Okay, she will lose her jaw in three more sighs, I swear. ”I’m not sexist you know... Though I wonder how well we’ll do with no hands.” She looked at her front hooves and tapped them on each other.
“Going forward with your education, you need to know there is four type of ponies. You are an earth pony. They have increased strength and stamina and they also have a connection with the earth that allow them to grow plants easier for instance.” Okay, I’m some kind of tank with earth powers. I can’t say I hate that.
“Next you have unicorns who can channel magic through their horn. The spells they can use normally depend on their special talent.” Spellcasters. Also, really? Unicorns? Are we in a kid book or something... wait, we are ponies. I’ll need to know if I can find the fourth wall and what’s behind it.
“Afterward you have my favorite, the pegasi. They can fly and control the weather of Equestria.” She grinned. “Oh, and they can sleep on clouds.” Another physics breaking mechanic. Sorry Einstein, Newton, Tesla and Darwin, I’m going against all of your discoveries. I hated how this world was destroying my favorite school subject.
“Finally, you have the alicorns whom possess the power of the three other races. The Princesses I mentioned earlier are of this category.” Okay, they are the godly overpowered ones. Like she said, we need to stay away from them.
“So, we got a tank, a mage, a ranger and an action replay user. Seems legit.” I said, paraphrasing everything she just said.
“I prefer druid for earth ponies and rogue for pegasi. So, anyway, this is the basic. I’ll try to fill you in with the rest of the stuff later, but it might be a good idea to work on our cover so we are ready when we meet someon- somepony.” She said, ponifying her words. I guess I should do that too.
“Anyway, shouldn’t we make a back story for us. I don’t think that ‘we are humans from Earth’ is a valid excuse.” I said in a matter-of-fact voice.
She gave me a deadpan look. ”No, really? I wouldn’t have thought of it.” That statement was dripping with sarcasm. “Why did I say it would be better to blend in again?” She said angrily. Naturally, it made her more cute than terrifying.
“Seriously, do you have any idea for a back story? We could add the changelings in it, but how am I related to you? Your sister?” I questioned her. I had an idea deep in my mind, but I forced it to stay there and never surface.
“That could work. Hmm... so who should our parents be?” I continued walking and tried to find any valuable answer, but failed at it.
“I don’t know. It’s not like I know anything about this world, nor about how families work. If everything is different here, family structures must be different as well.” I theorized, trying to shed light to this situation.
“Na, families should be similar over here.” She said in a normal voice, before switching at a whisper. ”Please let it be no herds.” She continued in a low voice. I looked at her in confusion.
“What are herds? Group of hor- ponies?” I mistakenly asked with my 16 year old obliviousness. She looked at me with a light blush.
“This is how herbivore group together back home. I think it is kind of like an harem, but I am really no expert on the matter.” Wait... harem? Like polygamy? Jesus, here I thought I was in some kind of soft world without anything really bad. We are already going against moral choices from where I come.
“Ookay. I will not push this conversation more. Do you have any idea what story we can make up?” I tried to find some ideas myself.
“I don’t really want to talk about it either... Just keep in mind that it might be considered normal if the ratio of female is higher than male. As for a story, erm... We need a reason why you are the one keeping me instead of my parents. At least we look similar so everyone should have an easy time to believe that we are related. I hope...” Well, our looking alike stops to our pink color. Still, if we would be related, where could our parents be?
“Oh ‘sweetheart’, I don’t think that we’re really related.” I said, giving her a silly nickname that our ‘mother’ could have given her.
Her right eye twitched when she heard that nickname. “No, really? Here I thought that we were long lost cousins.” She exhaled, trying to calm down. Wow, I’m really good at making her angry. I thought, laughing in my mind. ”And I think that sweetheart sound like something a mother would say rather than a sister...” Yup, that was what I feared. Still, it would work... nah.
“Well, you do look like a mini me. I should call you... Mini Me. Where is Dr.Evil? He must have made you.” I giggled at the small reference. I turned my head to see that she was wondering what to answer to that stupid line.
It took her a few seconds to find an answer..”Fine Austin Powers, let’s do this if you prefer. It isn’t like I really have much a say in this if you decide to call me your daughter in public...” Wait, she really would accept that. That wasn’t my objective with those jokes.
“Uhh... I think I’ll stay in the sister role.” I said simply. She laughed awkwardly and went back to her serious state.
“I prefer it that way too...” We both stopped talking. ”So, we should work on finding new names for us then we’ll work on our parents.” Yeah... wait.
“Wait, this isn’t part of the contract. Mathias is not a good name? What, you’re gonna tell me that their name is made of items and actions?” I said, trying to find some stupid way people or ponies can make up names. The answer really surprised me.
She tried to avoid my gaze. “How... did you guess?” She asked. I can’t believe they make names like that.
“No way. You’ve gotta be kidding me. I don’t want my name to be Cake Butt.” These words were dripping with sarcasm; I was still trying to wrap my head around everything. It’s hard, but I’ve managed to make my way with these bits of information.
”As funny as it would sound, I don’t think it would make a good pony name either.” Well, no shit... I would still laugh if there is a pony named Cake Butt. “Though you have the main idea. Names somehow often reflect the Cutie Mark of the pony. For example, there is two bakers in the cartoon that are named Carrot Cake and Cup Cake. They have foals called Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake. The parents are actually earth ponies while the foals are a pegasus and an unicorn respectively so it would make sense that our names use the same theme. You also have my favorite pony Pinkie Pie who is strangely rather pink.” Wow, originality is not their speciality.
“O...kay... So, got any idea for names? You seem like a name professional.” I asked, trying to find any idea for me and my little sister.
“Considering your mark, I’d say something related to pastry? I didn’t really try to make cakes so...” She admitted, scratching her head with confusion.
“Well... one of my favorite flavors of cake is strawberry, and I’m pink. So my name can be with strawberries in mind. I dunno, I’m pitchin’ ideas here.” I proposed her. She raised her head and realized that it was a good idea.
“It’s a good start.” She looked at me, embarrassed. ”I really have no idea so far...”
“Well... on a cake, there is whipped cream. How about Strawberry Cream?” I said without any conviction. These names are born to be bad. Let’s find one that is not as bad as the others. This is going to be a real challenge.
“Eh, I think that you mean frosting, not whipped cream. Well, on most cakes anyway.” Well, frosting and whipped cream can both be on cakes... as well as ice cream. Oh, what would I do for a Dairy Queen icecream cake right now.
“Well, there is both sometime... wait, Strawberry Frosting. That’s it... I guess. What do you think?” This name was... okay in my mind. It’s sounds less weird in my mind, but... meh.
“It sound better than Strawberry Cream, that much is certain. And it is less likely to be used in bad jokes...” She stopped talking and rubbed under her chin. ”Still got nothing... I never was good at making up pony names...” Well, thank you for sharing with me this useful information.
“Well, if you are from my family, I guess that we’ll do a ‘fruit frosting’ name too. What is your favorite fruit? Do you like peaches?” I asked her, thinking of another fruit that could sound great with Frosting.
When I mentioned peaches, her face lightened up. ”Mmm, that would be so good right now!” For the ‘x’th time, she looked embarrassed. ”I was saying that it would be a good idea.” I nodded slowly at her answer. What is wrong with her?
“So... Peachy Frosting?” I proposed and she nodded.
She smiled, having finished with that part. ”Yep! We should use those from now on and keep our original name to get the attention of the other if the situation call for it.” This part made sense. So, I’ll need to remember to answer when ‘Strawberry’ is asked.
“Okay Peachy” I said while grinning from ear to ear. She rolled her eyes at the comment.
”It will take time to get used to it, Strawberry.” She looked at me thoughtfully. ”Nah, that is far too long. Berry, I choose you!”
“Har har har, real funny.” Suddenly, a bunny came out of the nearby bush, my hyperactive ears making it sound more than five times louder. The sudden sound made me jump and gasp. “AH!” Peachy jumped due to my surprise, but looked more confused than anything.
”Wh-... what is it?” She poked her head beside me. When she saw what caused me to startle, she giggled. ”Oh, it’s only a bunny.”
“Oh... right. Anyway, do you know a war where our father could have died?” I asked, making things up on the spot.
She looked at me with a lot of questions in her mind. ”Ponies are rather pacific with two rather powerful beings giving a good reason not to attack them. The closest I can think of is the failed Canterlot invasion I used to draw the attention of the changelings. Why do you want to kill him?”
“So that we actually have a reason why he’s no longer here. So, father died and mother is kidnapped by changelings. Why not?” I stated. She nodded at my explanation, but was still a bit against it.
“James would make a good template for the mother.” She said while making a weird sound that I could define as snorting. ”Okay, that was a weird sound. I’ll stay with giggles. Specie type, I’d say that one of them should be a pegasus and the other an earth pony to make it easy to understand why we aren’t the same type of pony. Oh, and any idea on their job?” I shrugged at her question.
“Well, do we make up stuff on the spot? I’m good at this.” I proposed. She looked worried at this.
“Are you sure? It isn’t as if you wouldn’t be doing most of the talk anyway being the ‘responsible’ one.” Yeah, I’m the adult now. I still find it weird. I thought. I smiled while looking at her.
“I won some improv tournaments in the past years and I’ve been keeping up with a lot of lies. I can survive by lying about my entire life.” I looked into my mind for a list of lies and received one of the biggest lists I’ve ever seen. Well, I wish I could fix that, but it’s too late.
“Fine big sister.” She yawned again, but this time, way louder. ”What should I talk about now? Oh, technological level.” She looked like she could nap a bit.
“You know, I think you should sleep a bit. You look like you’re going to destroy your jaw by yawning.” I almost ordered her. She shook her head.
“I’ll be fine. I do need to tell you everything I know if you want to be able to lie properly, so... Let me talk about their technological level.”
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After few minutes of talking, she fell asleep by herself. It surprised me at first, but she looked so cute when sleeping that I just d’aww’d at the sight. Maybe all of this was way too hard for a little filly. She looked so tired, I almost feel bad of keeping her awake like that.
After walking for another 20 minutes in the random direction, I finally reached a cliff with an overlook. In the distance, I could see what we were searching for. I started to poke the sleeping pony on my back. Wow, she is really cute when sleeping. I don’t know why, but I feel like snuggling with her... that sounded creepy, even in my mind.
“Psst, wake up sweetheart.” I whispered. She pushed my hoof back and placed my mane as a blanket.
She snuggled even deeper in my fur. ”Five more minutes mommy...” She mumbled in her dreamy state. Wait, does she really think I’m her mother? I don’t know why, but my mind keeps telling me that it’s normal. What the hell, I’m a man for Christ sake.
“We are finally out of the forest, Peachy, and I can see a city. Wake up and help me here.” I said in a loud voice and finally managed to wake her up.
She raised her head and looked over me. ”Wow, it looks big. And even has skyscrapers. I wonder if...” She stopped talking and started to think. Well, no need to focus on thinking right now, let’s just find a way down.
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Peachy Frosting
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Trees. There are trees everywhere, no matter for how far I’m running. I am entrapped in a dark forest from the look of it. But why am I running? It probably have to do with the strange shadow trying to catch up with me. For some reason, it scared me out of my skin.
The shadow was slowly catching up, causing my heart to beat faster every second. I must go faster or else it will capture me and no one will ever see me again! Unfortunately, I tripped on a root soon afterward. I tried to get up on my two feet quickly, but it was too late. The shadow quickly enveloped me and my whole body started to feel weird.
The darkness was soon replaced with… pinkiness? The situation was just getting better. The unwanted color thankfully soon faded and I was back in the forest. Only this time around, the trees looked much bigger than before.
I tried to stand up, but I soon greeted the dirt quickly enough. My legs didn’t handle my weight. What was it now, and, more importantly, why did this situation seemed so familiar? Well, there isn’t too many ways to know what going on. I looked down my body only to see fur. Pink fur. A lot of pink fur.
No! Not again… I was a pink filly… Why does it feel like it wasn’t the first time I went through this? The cracking of a branch nearby didn’t leave me time to ponder on this. My ears pinpointed the origin of the sound behind me.
I turned my head around only to regret it. A changeling was behind me, but it didn’t look like those who kidnapped me and brought me to this forest. His teeth were sharper and there was this red glint in his eyes. From its wide grin, I could tell that it had other ideas in its head besides capturing me this time around.
It jumped at me, its mouth wide open. Before I could even think of reacting, it was struck by lightning. A blue figure was standing there, in the shadow of a tree. As it moved toward me, a few rays of light managed to pierce the ceiling of leaves revealing the feature of the stranger. It had a horn and wings and it was shaped as a pony. I quickly identified it as my favorite pony, Princess Luna.
I thought I was safe, but instead of smiling at me as I expected her, she was eyeing me intentionally. No… I traded one evil for another. I got back on my hooves and began to back away from the alicorn. A soft calm voice stopped me in my tracks, “Wait! There is no reason to be scared little one. Your nightmare is over for now.”
Nightmare? She mean that I am dreaming? If so, how could she know if she is part of it. Unless she is the real deal. That would mean that the Princess of the Night can enter dreams. This is kind of obvious when you think about it. Despite the reassurance in her voice, my new realization only increased my fear of the pony in front of me; this was one of the last being I wanted to see at the moment. I also needed to warn Berry.
I was about to try to flee her when a blue wing blocked my path. No, she cornered me! I’m done for...
“Don’t worry little one. You have nothing to fear from me as long you don’t hurt one of my ponies.” She knew I wasn’t a pony yet she decided to let me away only with a fair warning. I looked up until my big eyes meet the Princess again. She seemed to be still undecided about me, yet I could tell there was some pity in her eyes. Why? “Sleep well now.”
The forest dispersed quickly and the next thing I knew I was laying on a sunny grassy plain.
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Someone is trying to wake me up, but I’ve never slept so well. And considering my current weariness, I could do with more sleep. Still, I should probably wake up to see who managed to break in my room. A loud female voice made it clear about the gender of the intruder, “We are finally out of the forest, Peachy, and I can see a city. Wake up and help me here.” Peachy? Why did she call me a fruit? And why is my blanket yellow and pink?
Wait, pink? I pushed away what seemed to be hair with my… hoof. Urg, I would have prefered not to have been reminded of that pony business so fast.
It seemed that I must have fallen asleep while I was talking with Mathias aka Strawberry Frosting. I raised my furry neck to meet the head of the mare in question staring at me. Behind her, I could spot a city not too far away. ”Wow, it looks big, and even has skyscrapers. I wonder if...” On the water surrounding the city, I noticed a pony statue that looked strangely like the Statue of Liberty. Combining this with the skyscrapers, I think I know where we are. “Hey, they even have a statue! It must be Manehattan.” I told her, pointing my new girly hoof toward the statute.
“I can’t see a statue. Or I’m just bad at finding stuff. Either way, if you know the place, it’s a plus for us.” She don’t see it? But it is impossible to miss! It might be a little far away, but I can see it clear as the day. Wait a second, now that I think about it, my eyes were never that good before. That must mean… Yay! I’m starting to fall in love with my new form.
Though I can’t say I know the place well enough to be of any help. Ponyville on the other hand… hoof. Well… I do need to ponify my english, but at least my main language would be left untouched. “Eh, well… All I know is that it is a pun on Manhattan from New York. This won’t help us much though. At least it could be a good place to hide if those changelings are still after us.”
“At least we’re not in the middle of nowhere. To the city!” Somepony is sure excited. Not that I mind, afterall I am enjoying a free pony ride.
A quick yawn reminded me why I earned the pony ride in the first place, ”Hmm, I really need some coffee. Do you think they have a Tim Horton nearby? And don’t dare to say that I’m too young!” I tried to make the last part more imposing, but like each of my previous attempts, it didn’t sound quite right. I am much too cute for my own good.
My temporary sister seemed to have a dislike for coffee, “Yuck, coffee. Also, maybe they don’t have Tim Horton, but they might have a... Starbuck. Ba dum tss.” I rolled my eyes at her bad joke. Let’s not have a contest on that matter, because I feel that it would be hard to declare a winner.
This conversation about shopping did bring up a major problem we will be facing, ”Even if we reach the city, we’ll have another problem. I don’t think that either of us have any of the local currency.”
“What, they don’t take Dollars in this hole? Are they like in medieval times where they use gold coins and copper coins? It would cost more to make them than using them.” Even other countries back home don’t necessarily accept our dollars. I hope it was a fluke, otherwise having Berry as the responsible one might make the situation much worse in little time.
To answer her question, I suppose that gold must be abundant considering that Canterlot seem to be covered with it, “I don’t think they have much of a problem with the metals. Beside, gems are abundant in Equestria. I mean, the dragons eat them…”
Berry seemed to be impressed by the last statement, “Wow, I always said that greek food was fancy, but gems!? You can say that it’s expensive food.” Well, at least they don’t need to eat meat, pony meat in particular..
Fatigue decided to strike again at that moment, so I burrowed my head in my ride’s soft and comfortable mane. I wonder if mine is as soft as her’s. Erg, why am I thinking about this… I must really be more tired than I thought…
What to do now? Part of me would prefer to return to sleep, but we are so close to the city that it might be better that I’m awake should we encounter somepony. My ‘sister’ might have a topic she might want to talk about, ”So anything you want to talk about until we reach the city?”
“Well, maybe we can know each other a bit more. I mean, we are supposed to be sisters, but I only know your name and the fact that you are annoying.” Her grin told me that she was just pulling my leg.
Still, did I make such a bad impression? I’ll admit that I might have overdone it with the changelings. Unfortunately it was all I could do at that time and it will probably not work again, if they’re intelligent. Still, I could go along her train of thoughts for fun, “At least I fit the description of my body.” I stuck out my tongue for good measure. Thanks to the length of my new tongue inside my pink muzzle, I reminded that my body was very different at the moment. I could also feel a new set of muscles belonging to my wings between what was my hands and my legs. A quick swing of my tail also reminded me of its presence, ”Erg, it will take time to get used to this new body… The tail is kind of neat though.”
“Still, what I know about you can be counted on one hand... and even on one hoof!” I giggled at that joke. I had let out my inner filly a lot so far, but it most likely had to do with my tiredness. At least, I hope so.
She did have a good point though. It would be weird if sisters didn’t know basic stuff like the colors they like, “I’ll admit, that one was good. I guess we should start with simple things first. For example, what is your favorite color?”
“Talk about simple. I guess it would be red. Uhh... what about you.” Just like one of my real sisters...
“I’d vote for white, the color most used to represent light. Actually, I can’t say I truly have a favorite one, but I tend to use cold colors, unlike my fur...” I wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t get used to the most girly color before we get back home. I took the opportunity to poke a little harmless fun at my sister, ”I guess our fur is dyed in your favorite color.”
She didn’t appreciate my comment, “HEY! It’s not pink, it’s lightish red.” While I understand why she isn’t enthusiastic about it, ponies are bound to be curious why she takes so badly something shouldn’t be normal for her.
I decided to try to reduce her bad mood by addressing her flatly, ”You just described pink you know?”
“Yeah... anyway... what do you like to eat. Sadly, you can’t say any meat now.”
Right, ponies are vegetarians. Thankfully, I don’t put as much importance on meat as some people. “Oh well, it won’t be a big loss for me. Though I did love sushi, there is a variant with vegetables. Overall, I like rice a lot. Oh, and let not forget chocolate.” Hmm, chocolate. That would be so good at the moment. Just the thought of eating some made me smile.
“Oh sushi, I wish I could still eat shrimp. Well, something that I like containing no meat, I like... uhh...” Ok, I’ll miss the seafood too. Berry took a break to think more about food, “...I’m not sure, I was almost a meat-only guy before. My veggies were sometimes composed of carrots. Maybe chocolate is good in both my bodies.”
Oh, her obsession with meat might be a problem, but I can’t help but agree with her choice of dessert, “Oh, well… Hopefully you’ll find something interesting in our new diet. I wonder how grass or flowers taste.”
“Don’t tell me we’ll have to eat those. It’s toxic, don’t you know?” So she get the no meat part of being an herbivore but not the eat grass one? Her lack of thoroughness was astonishing. I couldn’t help but sigh. And she was supposed to be the responsible one...
”We are ponies now, got it memorized? There is hay too that we can eat.” That reminds me, we have no idea what we need to eat to stay healthy on the long term. Not that it should matter much, ”We’ll need to find out what is considered a healthy diet for us now… Hopefully we won’t stay ponies for too long that it would really matter.”
“Yeah, I don’t want to stay like this forever. Also, there is that itch under me that is starting to get on my nerves.” It’s great that you are telling me that...
“I’d say to scratch it, but I’m not too sure how well hooves work for that.”
“I don’t know what it is, so I will not touch it. Maybe it’s something like poison ivy and my hoof could get poisoned too.” Poison ivy? If it reached her belly then it would most likely have covered me whole. For once, I’m truly thankful that Berry decided to carry little me.
“Could be. I guess it is a good thing that I got a pony ride then.” I let out one of my many giggles. It scare me how easily they come to me. ”Don’t worry, your earth pony magic should help you recover faster.”
“Don’t get used to it. You can walk, little one.” She told me, making it clear that it won’t happen often.
“I’d prefer to walk anyway,” I continued quieter, more for myself, ”If only I wasn’t so tired.” Wait, now that I think of it, my ‘big sister’ didn’t seem to be tired one bit, ”How come I’m the only one tired between the two of us…”
“Well, little fillies needs their naps.” She giggled at her own joke. It seemed that I wasn’t the only one affected by her body. She do have a good point though, my new body will most likely force changes in my habits. My sleeping habit in particular...
”Sure… I could understand if it was late or I had been playing around a lot, but I have been like this even since we arrived in Equestria.”
“Well, people determined that physical reconstruction would burn more calories than a human body could produce. Even if the changelings reduced that amount, it’s still tiring, in my opinion.” Wow, science applied to magic? Paint me impressed.
“So you think that the reason I’m so tired is because I changed the most? Great…” Aren’t I the luckiest one...
“Hey, it’s only a hypothesis. We don’t even know how that even happened. Maybe you were tired to begin with.” I felt her shrug, probably while rethinking her theory, “I don’t feel tired for some reason, so this hypothesis is kind of sunk.”
I let out another sigh. She is right, we have no idea what changed our body in the first place. I don’t think that the anchors have anything to do with it, it would have been a waste of energy considering what they wanted to do with us. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from leaving my two cents, ”You possess increased stamina. It might have compensated the effect of the transformation.”
Enough serious talk for now, let go back to learning about each other, “Anyway, let’s return to the questions. What about your hobbies? Myself I love to play video games and read books. I also like to watch science fiction or investigations series on the TV.”
“I wrote stories every time I had stupid ideas.” She paused to think about what to say next, “Uhh, I like reading and playing video games too. Still, I wished I had my PC. It was my most loyal companion... with all of it’s blue screens of death.” Ah, the wonders of Windows.
The mention of computers saddened me. My studies were useless without a computer, meaning I would need to start again should the worst happen and we are stuck permanently in Equestria. Not that it would be a problem considering I was stuck as a young filly, but I’d prefer to avoid this fate. “So do I… I had a Bachelor's degree in computer science so it was kind of my main tool for work.”
Berry started to trot slower at the mention of school, slightly lowering her head, “I was in high school... wait, now that I’m an adult, I failed all of my studies... I... failed my future. It’s not like I can be a doctor now that I’m older than a normal student.” Her voice started to shake more and more as she went on, eventually starting to sob.
Her sudden depression about her failure surprised me. She was already acting like we wouldn’t go back home. It was far too soon for that! Beside, that left one clueless me to figure out how to help her. Still, I couldn’t let her fall in depression, especially not now. I decided to pat her on the head, even if it looked more like I was trying to pet her to me, and tried to reassure her, ”It will be fine, this is just temporary.”
Unfortunately, it didn’t work as she stopped moving, falling deeper into her depression., “And what would happen if we come back, we would be tagged as ‘dissapeared’. My girlfriend might get another man, my little brother will forget me and my family will cry their hearts out. My mother… oh god, my mother, she’ll die of sadness.”
As she finished, her sobs evolved into outright crying. She brought her right front hoof to eyes, probably to try to contain the tears. I was way over my head… What should I do? What would a pony do? The only thing that came to my mind was nuzzling. Murphy, was it really necessary to make that day so bad… Well, a man-filly’s got to do what a filly’s got to do. So, I started to slowly nuzzle her neck. The sensation of of fur rubbing together added another weird factor to this day. Hopefully this will help to settle her down, ”Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”
Of course, that didn’t work. Her state had only worsen despite my best efforts. She stumbled on her words, “H-how is that? I-I got no family-y-y.” I should have known that she was far from fine when she started to talk about sealing her dark side nonsense.
She suddenly fell on the ground so fast that I was lucky to be able to stay on her, and it was only thanks to my instinctual use of my wings that I could stabilize myself. Her crying intensified once again. That only left me one thing to do. I wrapped my front legs on her neck, hoping that it corresponded to the pony version of a hug, ”Please try to get a hang of yourself.”
All that crying finally managed to get to me. While not seeing my family for a while didn’t bother me for now, but I had other concerns. My main one was the autonomy that was stolen from me because of my new form. As much as I hated to admit it, I won’t be able to make it through our little adventure alone... “I need you…”
Berry simply turned her head toward me, “Seriously? B-Because last time I’ve checked, y-you lived more than 20 years without me. HELLO! WE JUST MET!” She returned to her crying...
Her last answer hit much too close to home, ”Did you get a good look at me? I’m a only a little child!” No! I need to calm down, it isn’t the time for me to get all emotional; it won’t help me to calm her. Still, I should be honest with her, ”I won’t be able to handle everything by myself.”
I seemed to finally succeed to reach her as her sobs slowly reduced until she managed to talk, “Still… I don’t know…” While her head was still lowered, I could tell that she finally managed to contain her tears.
Finally! I have the feeling that I’ll become better at comforting her before long, “If we are to pretend to be sisters, we’ll need to learn to depend on the other, especially me…” Having to fully trust a stranger will be hard for me...
“Anyway, you do know Murphy. This sisterhood will hit the fan at the same time as shit. We’re not going to get out of this world easily..” Yeah, I know him a little too much for my taste...
“I never said it would be easy to get back. Hopefully we won’t stay ponies for too long. I don’t know how long I’ll handle being treated like a foal…” Just remembering how everyone talk to kids already depressed me. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to tolerate that kind of talk before losing my cool.
She finally got back on her… four legs, shaking me a little, especially considering that I was still hugging her neck. I let her neck go and I managed to get back to my previous sleeping position. “Look, I can make you a deal. I can treat you normally if you can survive the others opinions.” There was still sadness in her voice, but I could tell that she was doing much better.
As much as I appreciated her offer, she would give us away if she treated me like an adult, “The problem is that it would arouse suspicion if you treat me differently. I’d prefer not to give too much clues on who we are to the changelings if they do come after us.” I started to shake imagining what the changeling would do to us if they managed to find us. I quickly managed to shake away the fear thankfully, “The population density of Manehattan should allow us to hide in plain sight if they are limited to a general location. Beside, they don’t know how we look now…” Hopefully our new shape will greatly help us to hide from them. Something good must come from this humiliation.
“It’s not like we are the same gender as before. Unless they installed some tracking device on us, we are safe for a good year. If they can track us, we got few weeks at least.” She shivered probably having the same thoughts I had earlier. She just brushed it off like when I asked her how she doing. She won’t make our stay easy for me. ”Let’s think positive!” She said with a fake smile, then sighed. “We are getting to our destination soon.”
Seriously, does she pay any attention to any of the important parts? I couldn’t stop myself from pointed it out to her, ”The anchor that keep us in Equestria serve as a tracking device too. Were you listening when their leader went in ‘evil guy is telling his plan thinking he already won’ mode?”
“Not really, I was busy wondering when shit would hit the fan. Obviously I listened... I just forgot.” Her obviousness made me worried that she will be responsible for my well being, at least in the eyes of others. At least she isn’t my mother.
I decided to lighten our mood with more personal questions ”Have any idea what you wanted to be later in your life?” I used this moment to add in a joke, “I’m sure that mother wasn’t a possibility back then.”
It worked, “Har har har, I wanted to be a doctor or a researcher. And no, mother wasn’t a choice, I wonder why.” A smile graced her face, well muzzle... “Anyway, do you like music that is not mindless heavy metal?”
“Tss, don’t talk fouly about metal or we might have a problem sister. As to answer your question, I also like rock or about anything with a good rhyme.” That was too serious, ”I also like weird musics like“ I took a breath and started to sing a song I knew she wouldn’t approve, ”Beer beer beer tiddly beer beer beer.”
I was right, “Wow, I forgot how weird you were. You’d better not sing this in public.” She gave me a stare that left place for no questions, “No, you will not.”
I was far from done. I tried to modify my voice to sound evil. Of course, like each time I try to sound anything but cute only made me cuter. I’m starting to really hate this body. ”Don’t worry, I have plenty others where that came from.” At least my grin should make it clear what my intention was originally.
“You do know that first impressions are the most important with other people... ponies. Singing a beer song makes you look stupid and me a really bad sister.” Great, she is already trying to teach me a lesson. Well, I did tell her to treat me like a little filly...
“Don’t worry, I’ll stay in the foalish stuff.” I tried to reassure her a little. I only want to have some silly fun.
“You know, I find it hard to trust you.” She proceeded to whisper to herself a question that she’ll certainly ask often, “Why me?”
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James
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The next morning found me asleep on the cave floor, uncomfortably close to my fellow cave mate. Realizing the implications of such proximity I get up quickly. There is no way I'm going to be teased by this pile of feathers!
For lack of anything better to do, i make my way out of the cave that we called shelter for the night. Despite the fact that i knew what inhabited the landscape beyond our sanctuary, it was actually quite peaceful. I took a deep breath through my nose, savoring the clean air.
My feeling of bliss was cut off by a faint wind blowing through my mane. The reality of the situation came back to me like a sledgehammer, killing the serenity of the moment.
Giving a deep sigh i move to sit on the edge of the small ledge outside of our little shelter. You know it wasn't that bad considering the circumstances. My eyes then quickly drifted to the rising sun in the east.
I ponder a moment at what this ordeal has caused for me. I am now a barnyard animal with wings. I have no natural weapons to speak of, and what little I had looked like it belonged to an ICU patient. My life, or what i had before, was in shambles. Being forced to hide from predators with a total stranger was a bit much for me to take in at the moment, so i reacted just the way i always did, shutting people out.
To tell the truth i probably was a bit harsh, but the newcomer seemed to take it in stride. Doesn’t matter, if things go well then i’ll be on my way home and away from all this fucked up shit. If things go bad i’m dead or trapped forever.
Seems like an interesting future does it not?
I hear a faint shuffling as my companion decides to exit dreamscape. He moves over and stops next to me. “The future doesn’t seem too hopeful, does it?”
“No it certainly does not.” I turn towards him. “What the hell we do now?”
He responds with a sigh. “I don’t know. All I can think of is to try and get us to the nearest settlement to get our wounds treated.” Before i can acknowledge he disappears back into our lean-to shelter. “Anywho, we better get going so we can try and get to a settlement today.”
“Well that sounds like a better plan than waiting here to get eaten or something.” I turn towards him and give him a slight glare, taking a guess at what is on his mind. “And don’t you go asking if i want a ride, i feel perfectly fine now.”
To my relief he chuckles and shakes his head playfully. “I wasn’t going to suggest that. I was going to say you look healthy enough to walk on your own for a little bit.”
"Alright, so which direction do we start off in all knower of this world?"
A talon makes it’s way up to his chin, which is odd because he really actually doesn’t have one to be honest. “To be honest? I have no idea. I was hoping to get somewhere high so I get a good look around. Besides, I don’t want to risk flying yet.”
"So climbing?" I hold up my front hoof. "If so I have one word, hooves."
Another sigh escapes from it’s prison. “I guess you’ll have to wait here for a little bit then. I’ll be right back.” Yet again before i can respond he has left the cave ledge and started making his way up the cliff face. I see now that those claws come in quite handy when it comes to climbing, being able to find all the tiny handholds must be useful. Even with this advantage he still slips a couple time before he finally makes it to the top.
Well, I give him points for perseverance, but it's still stupid that I can't do anything besides watch. Oh, here he comes back down. Let's watch the accident unfold. If he falls it'll be funny, but if he fucking dies I'm going to get pissed off.
Son of a bitch, the fucker fell the fuck off. Before he is halfway down and i’m done cursing his name because of how idiotic he is, his wings snap open. He glides the rest of the way down, landing next to me again. “Woo! Now that was fun!”
Yeah yeah, rub it in my face will you… “Did you see anything useful or was i waiting for disappointment?”
“Don’t worry, I saw a town. It’ll take us quite a while to get there, but we’ll make it before nightfall.”
Joy, more walking. I have a feeling our first encounters with the indigenous are going to bite us in the ass in more ways than inconvenience. “Joy.” I hop off the ledge and turn my head, motioning for him to do the same.
If the wings weren’t bad enough, he jumps off and lands next to me. Show off. “Yeah, I know, but on the bright side I don’t have to carry you into town. Also, let me do the talking, unless they’re extremely prejudiced against griffons.” Racist ponies? Oh god i have to see this.
“So you get to talk to the social as fuck ponies and all i have to do is stand there looking dark and sinister. Alright i can deal with that. Lead the way mouthpiece.”
Another roll of the eyes, maybe i should keep track of that. “Hold on, let me grab my iPod from the cave.” He jumps back to a standing position and returns to retrieve his equipment from the cave. “Alright, ready to go.”
"Lucky bastard." His IPod got teleported as well? No fair. He probably has crap songs, I will not stand to listen to shit. Wait a second though. "Hmm, to be honest I never did look for mine, where'd you find yours? Whether or not you're coming with me I'm going to try to find mine. Preferences you know."
“Understandable. I found mine back where I first got teleported here.” Sounds simple enough. Onwards!
"Alright, I think I know where that is." I shuffle a bit to gain a better knowledge on how my body balances. Once I'm satisfied I take off running.
Of course this was before I remembers I was partially disabled. So instead of galloping off into the foliage I make it 10 feet before my back leg gives out and I trip. "OH SHIT!" Then I face planted into the dirt. Not a fun experience.
He hear him walk up next to me. “I may be in better shape to go retrieve it, although not for long.” There’s a hint of sadness as i watch him favour his left hind leg/paw thing.
"Yeah well fuck you, I can run my own errands."
“Obviously not. Besides, I’d like to get your iPod so I don’t have to hear you bitch about it all the way to the town.” Despite my statement the fucker walks to the forest edge, determined to do me a favour. Well screw you, the last thing i’m going to do in this damnable world is have myself owe somebody a favour.
"The way you say it makes it seem like a compliment." I start towards him, holding my hind leg up so I hobble awkwardly. I may be foolhardy and stubborn but I'm not stupid.
“Well, if you fall behind because of an infection, I’ll leave you there and come back later.” Wow, a bit harsh, I like that.
"Fine by me. But, if anyone is going to fall behind its you. I'm as stubborn as hell and I sure as hell won't let you lose me."
He gives a throaty chuckle. “Good, I like your spirit. Now, let’s go find a worthless piece of junk!” Before i can retort he starts pushing through the underbrush. This is a time that he is actually useful since his claws and thick coat protect him from the thorns and other forest shit.
Hmph, spirit. My 'spirit' would probably eat him as an appetizer if all it took was blind stubbornness. "The fact is that currently, to me, that piece of hardware is worth more than your life. You're quickly getting closer though." So I like abrasive people who have no qualms about speaking their minds, sue me.
Several minutes pass by and thankfully my companion learned the word ‘silence’. I didn’t see much considering the whole fucking place is just trees, trees, bushes and more trees. His progress slows and his hind leg is starting to limp more prominently. “Sorry about having to slow down; my leg’s beginning to burn really badly. However, we should be there in just a few moments.”
"Would you like me to kiss it better?" I put on my best puppy dog face, which was probably amplified by my current form.
So i make one smart comment, and what does it earn me, a fucking bop on my snout. “Sorry, but that doesn’t work on me here. Besides, I’ll be fine, but it is nice that you worry about me.” And to punctuate the injury the asshole throws me a smirk.
Oh screw you bitch. That fucking hurt! What is up with these horses and their damn fragility? "You shithead! Way to ruin a perfectly good insult." As an afterthought I add, "You better be alright cause I'm not putting my mouth anywhere near you on purpose."
One more thing to address before I can end my rant. "And another thing, I care for you about as much as I care for my underwear. You're useful at times, but in general, I don't need you. I don't need anybody. I prefer to be alone, I operate better alone. For now I have to work with you, but only because I want to go back to being alone."
He stops and turns towards me, his jovial look has disappeared and is replaced by a more hungry one, as if he is visualizing dinner.A dark chuckle emanates from his chest. “Good, someone who feels as I do. I’ve always had a deep hatred for everyone around me, so I prefer to work alone. I guess we can both agree that this ‘friendship’ is not because we want it, but because it is a necessity.” Bitch please, as if I'm actually threatened by the fact that he is looking hungrily at me. With his eyes slitted, with that glazy haze in them.
God dammit fucking body, get out of my goddamn head! "Bet he's just saying that to make himself look better" I barely mumble out. The statement seemed brave when I first conceived it, but after saying it I realize it was more to reassure myself than anything.
“Anyways, I believe I’ve found the clearing from yesterday.” And cue the topic change.
There it is, sure enough. The accursed clearing that housed me for the first peaceful moments of my time here. I push past him and check around to see if I can find the stupid thing. Of course. I put the black indestructible case on that stupid thing when I left the house. After losing my first one to slipping during work I had immediately gone out and bought a case. Of course now my colour choice was going to bite me in my furry ass.
His claw motions to a dark shady spot. “Is that it over there?” And of course he points to some random piece of shit hanging from a low branch.
"No that's not it. It doesn't help that the fucker is in a dark black case. Yes that's a colour." Everyone gets on my case about my saying it's dark black, assholes.
“Well duh, of course black is a color. It wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t.” Wow, just the opposite reaction.
"No I meant dark black is a colour. People always get screwy when I tag a dark onto black."
His eyes take another trip around in their sockets. “Whatever. Anyways, let’s hurry up and find it so we can get to the town and make sure these wounds aren’t infected.” He goes back to searching
Oh lord this guy is a catch. “Where have you been all my life?” I quietly mumble. My life would have been so much more interesting with someone who can argue with me and not try to cart me off to prison or something.
I’m not surprised that it took 10 blasted minutes to find the damnable thing. And by god the fucker was hanging from a low branch that was just out of reach. “I hate my life, so much.”
He gives a thoughtful look at the appearance of this roadblock, which more than I can say for myself. “Well, I could give you a boost up so you can grab it with your mouth.”
…
That’s actually not a bad idea, i mean i can’t think of anything better so, what the hell. Of course i’d probably go through hell and high water to get to that thing if i was in the same situation. Call it my, ‘fall back plan’ for when i get super pissed. “Alright, i’m game.”
I jump on his back and reach up with my neck. Damn, still too fucking short by an inch. Maybe if i stand on his head?
I put my forehooves on top of his head eliciting an animalistic growl from him. I couldn’t care less, i managed to nick the cord with my front teeth, pulling on it to free my prized possession. I jumped to the ground, ignoring the sharp pain that traveled up my leg. I had the only thing i could call my own back. The one good thing in this screwed up universe.
“Now how the hell am i going to attach it somewhere so i can listen to it?” Thinking out loud, i’m almost always alone so usually it isn’t a problem.
He spreads his wings partially to show his little device tucked securely in the crook of one of them, perfectly accessible. “Just try placing it under your wing. They’re kind of like a natural multi-tool.” I take a good look at his setup before trying to spread my wings. I manage to open them a little, still hating the fact that i actually had them. Reaching around, i tuck my precious device in the crook of it, folding my wing up to encompass it.
He turns to the direction of the supposed town. “Alright, now that we have gathered your effects, let’s see if we can reach the town without any interruptions.”
“I highly doubt it.” Woo, go pessimism. “Ten bucks, or whatever the equivalent is in this universe’s currency, says we get jumped by something.”
“Heh, more than likely.”Yay another pessimist, this trip’ll be fun. He begins walking in the direction of, what i hope is, the nearest town.
We continue walking for a few more minutes. Wow this is going to suck. I mean, i’ve been in some stupid situations but this truly takes the cake. A low growl is emitted from the bushes beside us. My mind immediately went back to the fight with the timber wolves. And with that memory came fear. Fear of death, the fear that all prey shares. And I hated it.
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Scott
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The growl is deep, giving away that the being is probably rather large. We both turn towards the source of the noise; a nearby bush. I hold out my right talon in front of James, limping forward a bit. gah! This wound on my leg is killing me!
“K-keep your fingers to yourself. I’m p-perfectly capable of knowing when to s-stop.” I roll my eyes slightly at his pretend braveness.
“Yeah, whatever. Now hold on while I go check this out.” I shove him a bit backward and ignore his protests, slowly inching towards the offending bush. I approach it, dip my talons into the leaves and part them. And on the other side of the vegetation, I find something that will scar me for life.
I turn and run directly into James, grabbing him and throwing him onto my back and ignoring the burst of pain in my leg. “WHAT THE FUCK! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN YOU MORONIC BIRD FUCKING BRAINED LITTLE FUCK! I HAVE HARD HOOVES AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SMACK YOUR SHIT UP!”
I turn my head to him and yell at the top of my lungs. “James! Shut up! I’m trying to save our lives! Also, don’t look behind us no matter what you do!” I begin running as fast as my injured body will let me and jump over a log.
I can hear the forest behind us getting destroyed by the creature chasing us. I hear James yell into my ear hole as we run, “Well, against my better judgement, I’ve listened to you so far and not looked! So can you tell me what the fuck is chasing us?!”
I skid past a tree and keep running trying to get away from the beast that was chasing us. “When I looked into the bush, I got extremely lucky. The creature that’s chasing us is a basilisk straight out of mythology.” He stays silent, so I can assume he’s being quiet so I can focus on getting us to that town.
As it would turn out, a giant snake chasing with a gaze that could kill you is incredibly good incentive to run what feels like a marathon. Unfortunately, for all my running, I can sense that the snake is getting closer and closer.
I run past another barrier of trees just wide enough for me to jump through, but not strong enough to keep the basilisk from breaking through instantly, and into a small clearing. I realize my mistake as I examine the trees surrounding the clearing; all of them form a type of barrier like the one I just jumped through, except that these are all much too close for me to get through.
I quickly run over to the barrier on the far side. The basilisk is taking its time now that it knows I can’t escape. I find a small pocket that goes through to the other side of the barrier. I unceremoniously drop James on the ground, grab him, and shove him through. Of the two of us, he is small enough to get through.
“Hey James, this is where we part ways, just like we wanted. You can get to the town if you head in the direction I was running. Get there and get some medical help. All I have left to say now is that it has been an absolute nightmare working with you.” I finish with a smirk and grin, turning around to face the basilisk, but not looking into its eyes.
"Oh fuck no!" The idiot jumps back through the small opening and hits me as he does so. “First off, you are not allowed to have this type of fun without me! Second, don't be a pussy and commit suicide." He turns away from me and towards the basilisk with his eyes closed. “Come at me ya fucker! If you're going to eat somebody eat me first so I can rip out your insides to make more room!"
I roll my eyes before wondering how I could be so stupid; I just tried to make an American run away from a fight. Oh well, if we’re going down, we’re going to hurt this creature as much as possible before we do. We share a glance with each other, and as though we’ve been working together for years, we begin circling around the basilisk the best we can with our injuries.
The basilisk, like other species of this world, is much smarter than it looks and realizes what we’re doing. Immediately it shoots towards James, the weaker of us two.
His ears shoot up, and he jumps out of the way. Fortunately, the basilisk only got a glancing blow on him. "Damn you!" He turns back to the basilisk, obviously very pissed."My turn"!” He jumps onto it and latches onto the thing’s back.
His laughing makes me roll my eyes as I jump towards him to keep him from being suicidal. However, something else does it for me, as he’s blasted off and I’m blasted backwards from an explosion centered on the basilisk.
I get back up to my paws and talons and look around. “What the hell? Where did that come from?” I look to my right and see James lying on the ground, twitching. I knew he shouldn’t have jumped the giant snake.
“Attack!” My eyes shoot straight up to see one of the most terrifying scenes ever. Twenty Lunar Guards are dive-bombing the clearing with ferocity. They all land in between us and the basilisk, charging their horns for another explosive attack.
The dust is preventing any visual of the dangerous creature. Suddenly, the snake jumps out of the dust and stares at one of the guards straight in the eyes. He immediately collapses, obviously dead.The captain yells at the others, “Regroup! We need to stun this bastard long enough to get away!”
They make a much more successful circle around the basilisk than James and I did, frustrating the snakes with constant jabs from all sides. After enough pestering however, it spins, using its tail to knock out a few of the guards close to me.
Looking at the gap, I see an opening. ‘Oh, I am going to get so much shit for this later from the guards.’ I run past the perimeter of the circle, ignoring the guards shouting at me to stay back. I open my wings and use them to propel me forward and into the air, landing on the basilisk’s neck right behind its head.
It begins shaking its entire body in an attempt to get me off. I can see now why James was having so much fun earlier. I dig my talons into the scales on its skull, dragging myself further up its body. Finally reaching the forehead, I lift one of my talons into the air, and bring it down, digging into its right eye.
The ugly beast cries out in pain, shaking even harder, this time succeeding in throwing me off. I slam into a tree at the edge of the clearing, my vision dimming from the hard hit. Three Lunar guards step in front of me, warding off the basilisk from attacking me.
Suddenly, from across the clearing, I hear a familiar voice shout out, “Hey! That’s not fucking fair! Why did he get to ride the snake?! It’s my turn!” James shoves past the guards, despite his weakened condition, surprising us all. Any normal being would still be out cold from an explosion like that. That’s when I chuckle, realizing why. Humans do have a rather...interesting mind set.
He roars and pumps his bloodied wings, propelling himself even further than me, smashing into the other eye and effectively blinding the snake. It lets out another roars and starts shaking everywhere, attempting to hit any of the ponies gathered.
It fails miserably, instead hitting its head on one of the thicker trees. A few of its teeth are knocked out of its mouth and land next to it. It finally stops moving, waiting in defeat for the final blow. I walk past the guards, who are all still a bit shocked at what we did. Every step I take makes me gasp in pain as it shifts the broken bones in my wing and ribs.
I tentatively grab ahold of one the teeth and get closer to the dying animal. Once I am right next to it, I look over to where James lies on the ground, looking as broken as I feel. He’s watching me with barely open eyes, and when he sees what I’m about to do, he understands why, and just smirks.
I look back to the basilisk, which is now lying completely still. I place a talon onto its black iridescent scales. I feel it flinch slightly away from the unexpected contact, then go still again, waiting. I raise the fang into the air, whispering, “I am sorry it had to end like this, but it is called survival of the fittest,” to the snake.
I bring the fang down as hard as I can, digging through what left of its right eye and straight into the brain, killing it quickly. Unfortunately, the moving had shifted my bones...a lot. The pain, coupled with all the trauma my body had received, forcing me to the ground and black out at the same time as James.
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Luna
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I paced around the throne room, anxious for news of what had occurred in that strange forest.
The anomaly i had sensed was not the usual rogue spell that Tia’s student happened to pounce on. This was more like an older spell from when the Canterlot Academy Magic Discovery Team was busy researching new spells.
Against my better judgement i had sent for a squad of soldiers to check on the disturbance. No doubt whoever was behind this was either stupid or had devious intentions. Either way it was dangerous for them to go unchecked romping through society
A sharp rap on the throne room’s doors snapped me out of my thoughts. Eager for news i quickly trotted over and opened them. Instead of a captain i was greeted however by a courier i had sent to check on the odd filly that I had rescued from a very… disturbing nightmare the night before.
"What has become of the filly I sent you to check on?" I asked curtly
"Your majesty, no sign of the filly anywhere, however, I did find two sets of tracks leading to the city of Manehattan. I'm sorry princess, but whoever it was was long gone by the time I got there."
"I see…" this wasn't horrible news, but it was not the news I had been hoping for. "Very well, alert watchers in manehattan to look out for suspicious activity. Yes I know that any odd things will be hard to spot, just make sure they report their findings and that all reports are delivered to either me or my sister." That should take care of that situation. Too bad Tia is away on a diplomatic meetings, she would probably be better at this than we-I would.
The courier still stood at attention, waiting for further orders. "That is all, forgive me, I am deep in thought."
He gave me a forgiving smile. "Quite alright princess, what you have said shall be done, don't you fret."
"Thank you, Swift Wing, I know I can count on it."
He departed and I was once again left waiting for the news of the scouting party. My pacing speed increased as a number of scenarios ran through my head. 'What if they were hurt and couldn't escape? What if they were already dead? Did they get lost?
It seemed like hours that my pacing continued for. I figure I've probably worn a groove into the floor. But a quick look down confirms that to be false. "Ugh! Where are they?"
A few quick frantic knocks once again interrupt my thoughts. Once again when I opened the door I did not find my captain waiting to give a report. Instead it was another guard under him.
He did a quick bow which I didn't care about. "Your majesty, your presence is needed down at the infirmary!" My eyes immediately widened in surprise, some ponies must have been hurt!
"What's wrong? Who has been injured? Will they be alright?" My words came more jumbled than I had meant but it seemed like he knew what I was saying.
"It is fine princess, we had one casualty in the forest due to an unprecedented run in with a basilisk. The two in the infirmary are a charcoal black griffon and a grey pegasus we found combating the creature before we arrived." Well that is surprising. They must have been all that was left of a hunting party that happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. "Princess." I lightly shook my head to clear my focus. "Would you like me to escort you?"
No need to dismiss help when it wouldn't be an issue to have it. “Very well, lead the way.”
We started off down the hallway towards the guard’s quarters and the infirmary. Along the way, the many servants bowed and the guards snapped to attention as we passed. Fortunately, many of the staff had come to greet me as kindly and as sincerely as my sister.
We reached the infirmary in what seemed like no time at all. I pushed open the doors with my magic, and strode in, the many guards turning and giving me a salute. Up towards the front, I found my captain, more tense than usual. “Well? Report Lightning Strike. Who are our guests?”
He brought down his hoof, obviously a little worried, but what about, I did not know. “Well your majesty, we do not know. After killing the basilisk, they both collapsed from the amount of trauma their bodies had taken.” He paused for a quick breath, starting again before I could talk. “According to the present medic, they should have been unconscious far earlier. But, they killed a full-grown basilisk without any assistance from us.”
He met my incredulous gaze head on with the steely resolve in his own; he was no fool. “This could mean they are the source of the magical disturbance, correct?” He simply nodded his head, allowing me to continue. “Very well. The safety of our ponies is in jeopardy; I will try to enter the dream of one of the two and seek out their intentions.” I looked around, realizing that everypony in the room had stopped to listen to our conversation. “Well? Don’t you all have work to do?”
They all scurried back to their tasks like mice fleeing from a cat, the very thought making chuckle a bit. Biting back the rest of my mirth, I motion for my captain to follow me to the griffon’s bedside. “I’ll return in a little bit.” With that, I lean down and press my horn to his forehead, the world going dark as my mind is sucked into that of another.
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Scott
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I used to have those weird dreams where I would just be laying in bed then boom, I’m in a dream. This is exactly what happened this time. I look around at my surroundings, finding it hard to decide on what they are exactly.
One second, it appears I’m surrounded by trees, the next buildings, and then something else I can’t describe. However, the one thing they all seem to have in common is that they’re obscured by a curtain of black mist.
Upon finishing my investigation of my surroundings, I then investigate myself. In this dream I still appear to be in the form of a black griffon. However, something seems to be a bit off, “But what could it possibly be?” I stop, realizing my voice sounded different as well; much different.
I hum a bit and sing a few short lyrics too before I confirm my suspicions; yup, I am a young female griffon for whatever reason my subconscious has. I sigh, happy in the knowledge that this is fortunately just a dream.
I look around at my surroundings once again, realizing just how big they seem now that I know I’m tiny. I notice that the area around me has decided to finally settle on a clearing much like the one with the basilisk.
Suddenly, I feel an urge to jump to the side as quickly as I can. Trusting my instincts, I obey the command and jump to the side as a massive figure crashes down right where I was. I skid along my left wing before coming to stop about six feet away. I roll away just in time as a black fist crushes the area where i was just standing.
I back up quickly to put much more distance between myself and the figure, finally out of range of its attacks. The shape in the dust stops moving around so much, the silhouette taking the shape of something familiar. The dust clears and my suspicions are proven correct; in front of me, stands a black griffon.
He’s quite similar to my normal form in the waking world, with a few key differences. Such as being about two times bigger, the claws in his talons and paws having small serrated edges along the bottom, what appeared to be dried blood matting down some of his fur and feathers, and several primaries missing from his wings. However, I cannot see his eyes, as they, and most of his face is hidden behind a bone white featureless mask with red markings on it.
He looks at me from behind the mask, seemingly taking me apart piece-by-piece. Shakily, I call out to him in my new voice, “Who are you? I have suspicions of who you might be, but it’s better to hear it from your own beak!”
There’s no chuckle or change in his body, just the same look of tense muscles, almost as though he's angry, I realize he’s had since he first arrived. After breathing in, he begins to speak, his voice low and grating, almost like Master Chief, but rougher and deeper. “I am you. I am your rage, hate, pain, and almost any other emotion or mindset that gives you those dark thoughts. Every time you’ve begun contemplating how to kill someone? That was me.”
I back away a little more, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. If he is the one he says he is, then I am in trouble; this is what made me human. This guy, is the dream form of all my cruelty, and all that stuff he said rolled up into a nice big package.
I continue to stare at him in fear, realizing that if that’s the form of my dark side, then this body is probably what my light side looks like. Sure does make sense.
Uh-oh, it looks like he’s getting ready to attack. The giant griffon crouches down low to the ground, and just as he moves to jump at me, he bursts into a fine black mist.
And through that mist, I see the Princess of the Night emerge. Finally letting a little bit into my current body’s instincts, I let a fangirl scream, one that I would regret later, and almost jump her. However, I’m stopped when the black mist shoots at me and penetrates me (like from Shadow of the Colossus you sick minded perverts).
I drop to the ground, writhing as I feel my bones and skin shift. Once it finally stops, I cease my struggling, then looking down. I realize that I am now not only back in my original griffon form, but also laying at the feet, or hooves, of royalty. I scramble back to a respectful distance, bowing once I reach it.
After a few seconds, I look up to see an amused reaction on her face. Did she find my embarrassment to amusing? Oh well, to each their own, right? “I noticed something odd about you as soon as I saw you in the hospital bed. However, it is a bit worse than I thought; your sides are much more split than they should be. Care to explain?”
Holly sheet! I was about to talk to the Princess Luna like she was my therapist! This was the best thing ever! I open my mouth to reply, when I’m interrupted by the loud noise of someone getting hit, and myself being jerked rather painfully from my dreamscape.
~~~~~~~~~~
Five Minutes Earlier: James
~~~~~~~~~~
Oh god, there was a bunch of bug ponies, then I was a pony, and then we got attacked by a mythological snake. Somebody get the address of the ass hole who hit me because I wanna go blow his fucking head off.
My eyes flutter open and receive a extremely bright light.
"Doctor, this one seems to be waking up!" Doctor? Wait, doctors are in hospitals!
I try and sit up but my aching body forces me to collapse. "Please sit still, you are badly injured and need to be in a bed for a couple of days." Oh yeah?
"Says who? Certainly not you." Stupid doctors, always telling people how to ruin their lives.
"Says me that's who." Oh god, macho voiced doctor. Those guys scared me. For some reason whenever I ended up in the hospital (fairly rare) I always got those kinds of doctors…
I turn to look at this new doctor. "Oh yeah, well you can…" my eyes widen as I take in his form. Equine, dark black coat with deep purple armour covering his head and barrel (yeah I know horse anatomy. Didn't think I'd ever need to use it though).
"You were saying?" Oh right, macho pony dude.
"You're a pony…"
"Correct."
"I'm a pony…
"Correct…"
Here comes the clincher. "That snake thing was real?"
"Yes…" okay…
"Um, okay, alright then…" I tense, apparently I did it visually because the pony flexed, ready to receive a pounce that would never come. "Bye!"
I launch myself out of the bed, my only thought being 'I've got to get out of here!' My escape wasn't planned very well as there were at least another dozen guards in the room besides macho. "Stop him! His body hasn't fully recovered yet!" Time to shut you up Mr. Doctor!
I'm about to introduce his muzzle to my hoof when I see a large dark blue horse putting what looks like a horn up to Scott's neck. That is not going to fly with me!
I jump off the doctor pony and go sailing through the air towards to large blue pony. Many shouts and screams rang through my ears as I made contact. There was a short burst of energy as her horn lost contact with his head.
Oh god! She must have been doing some kind of mind control spell in him!
My thoughts were interrupted by the shouts of about 4 or 5 ponies jumping on top of me, pinning me down to probably make room so I could receive the 'treatment'.
My mind is my own and that will never change. "Get the fuck off me you sick bastards, before I punch a hole through your eyeballs." I swear I heard a stifled laugh from one the guards that was pinning me.
All I have to say to that is, nope! I yank my hoof out from under the guard that had giggled and uppercutted him with the now free hoof. The other four were so surprised that they weren't holding my appendages down very well anymore. Successive yanks and punches left our roles reversed.
“Ugh, that was painful...what’s going on?” Finally my companion managed get his lazy ass up. Too bad the bandages constricting his ribs restrict his movement.
The leader, who I assumed was Mr. Macho scowled at me. Ass, you can't scare me! "Bitch stay away from my fr…meat shield! I've only got one in this fucked up world and I'd prefer not to lose it!" I took up a defensive stance in front of Scott's bed; none of the other ponies even blinked.
"Look, sir," Ha! He called me a sir, what a joke. "We mean neither you nor your friend any harm. Please calm down and get back into the bed."
I still didn't like this pony. "We're in a hospital. Who put me here?" I turned to face in his general direction. "You?" He nodded once. "Good, one day I'm going to knock you upside for bringing me to this accursed place! Too many fucking people die in hospitals and doctors charge you for saving your life!" Speaking of which, the other doctor is still here isn't he? "And if I get a damn bill from you I'm going to rip it up and feed it to you for breakfast."
The doctor pony cowered behind macho guard pony, while the latter took a step closer. "You're badly injured please return to your bed."
Oh yeah the only person who's going to be injured is... Wow, do I feel woozy right now. "I do believe I have a date with the floor gentlemen." And with that I flopped to the floor, barely conscious. My adrenaline fueled body had finally giving out to the excitement.
Scott gets off the bed and limps over to me, his bad leg dragging behind him. “James, you idiot; they’re trying to help us.” He turns towards that accursed pony called a doctor. “I’m sorry, but I think he only trusts me a slight bit, which is a lot more than you. I’ll drag him back.” Ha, wait, actually he does have a small bit of trust… a small bit. But to add insult to injury he picks me up by my good leg and starts dragging me to my bed.
“Screw you birdy… i’m perfectly capable of reaching the bed myself.” I look up and glare at the doctor again. “And you! I’m not done with you yet!”
“Ignore him." Why the audacity of some people! Ignoring my grunts of unapproval he dragged me to the base of my bed. “Can’t put you up on top of the bed right now, so I’ll just leave you here. Now, stay. I need to go speak with the princess if she will.” And with that he leaves, still limping. Wimp
Wait, royalty, where? And how did he know her? "Wait, who? And stop man, er I guess it's pony, handling me!"
He stops and looks back at me in exasperation. “The royalty I’m hoping to save your skin from is the one you jumped while she was talking to me in my dreams. You may have just almost killed us by attacking one of the two princesses.” He turns towards the blue pony and walks towards her, not once looking back. What? So I accidently pummel royalty. No biggie, I've done worse.
I look at the guards apologetically. "What? I have an aversion to authority. Not my damn fault you lot happened to put us in a situation right out of a movie."
I manage to summon up what extra respect I have saved over the years should I need to kiss somebody's ass and turned towards the large blue pony I had jumped. "Sorry ma'am, I did not understand what was occurring and acted in a way that was most unbecoming of me. Accept my apologies." And that used every last drop… oh well, just means people will have the monumental task of earning respect from me. Good luck to whoever tries.
Scott takes a glance at the pony to see if she will accept my 'apology'. She simply smiled and leans closer to me than I feel comfortable with. “It’s alright little pony.” Her tone says 'accident', but her smile screams 'on purpose!' Then she leaned even closer to a point that we were almost nose, or I guess muzzle, to muzzle.“I have the perfect way for you to make up for your mistake.”
"Okay lady, two things we need to get across. One, I'm not a little pony, try that again and I will punch something, it might not be you but it will be something. Two, I don't do sexual favors." My frown increased at the end if my statement. Need to let this wacko know that I’m perfectly serious.
The entire room was hushed in an instant. Then that idiot scott burst out laughing like a madman. “Hahahahaha! That isn’t what she meant at all! She’s way too socially awkward to ask for something like that!” With that he collapses onto the ground, obviously very tickled by what I had said. I started to wonder when he would stop, then he chuckled softly and looked around. Obviously seeing the lack of people laughing with him he got up.
Oh god, and here I thought I was going to be the first one to embarrass himself. "Socially awkward? Look in the mirror and say that again. That laughing fit you had was just plain disturbing…"
Oop. There's a sigh, got to keep track of those. So Luna has one and Scott has 4 or 5. “I don’t know what to make of either of you. However, my sister may.” She turns towards that accursed pony doctor. “Doctor, will you let these two patients move around?”
Ha that's funny… "He has no fucking choice! I'll move around til I fall over dead. Sitting in bed is a waste of time."
Scott nods his head in agreement. Ha! I knew that I wasn’t the only one who hated hospitals! “Sorry doc, but I have to agree here. There’s too much that needs to be discussed... privately.”
I frown; I never did like discussions regardless of what they were about, but the way he said it made it imply that everyone should leave so I'm all for it! "Yeah, so um, shoo! Everyone shoo, yeah goodbye I don't care about your company, go away you're annoying."
Hey look he can move his eyeballs in a circle, congrats! “Hey, I meant that we should go somewhere private; much less energy spent trying to get privacy.”
Works for me. "That's good too." I start to leave and end up tripping on my way out. Much to my displeasure I hear hooves softly clop behind me. "No I don't need help dammit. Go away!"
I hear a deep sigh before he obviously addresses the blue pony. “Sorry about his attitude, but where we’re from, you have to be vicious to survive.” He pauses, apparently getting some sort of reaction from another pony in the room. “I‘ll explain when we’re all together, no offense meant at seemingly bossing you around.”
“Yeah yeah, sure, sure… so can we go now?” Wait, what did he say to the blue horse again. “Wait, she’s coming too? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of finding ‘privacy’.” And then I tripped. Stupid habit of making air quotes to get my point across!
Thanks be to whatever god is on this planet that Scott ignored my injury for once. “We need Princess Luna here because she is part of a diarchy with her sister. We need to gain their support.”He begins walking beside the pony princess and motions for me to follow. Okay just because I'm an animal doesn't mean I'm going to be treated like one! But it's either that or stay with the doctors and creepy macho dude.
“Okay, so that is a plus side to having her as a ‘friend’.” Success no falling! “What if i just don’t care?” Which i didn’t.
He stops and turns towards me, speaking quietly. “The only reason you weren’t thrown into a jail cell immediately, is because I intervened and appealed to her better nature. If you get thrown into a cell, how will we find a way to get home?” He stares into my eyes, patiently awaiting my answer.
A way home? A WAY HOME?!? Is he really that dumb to not see that that is not the ONLY problem we have right now! “I COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT GOING HOME I DON’T WANT TO BE A FOUR LEGGED BARNYARD ANIMAL ANYMORE!” I blinked and found that my front hooves had grasped the sides of his beak and we were face to face. Huh, I wonder when that happened?
There's a shift in his eyes, as if he became a different entity.“Get your hooves off of my face. If you weren’t stupid enough to attack every single thing that tried to help us, we would be well on our way to recovery. When I said ‘find a way home’, I meant that we would find a way to become human again. Besides, it would be better if there wasn’t a human influence in Equestria.” He growled in a low voice that was enough to draw chills from m-the pony body.
He glances around before resuming his glare at me. “As a bonus, you just screamed out biggest secret as loud as you can, in the middle of an open plaza. ”
Ahahaha allow me to explain myself in three simple words. “Well here are three words that rule my life constantly. I. Don’t. Care.” But I digress I don’t understand the second part. “What do you mean influence, so far we’ve seen monsters, guards with weapons, and hospitals. It doesn’t look like it can get much worse from here.”
He pushes away my hooves, which for some reason were still attached to his face. “I know you don’t care, but if you keep blabbing whatever you want in public, it will impede the progress of our own goals. Now, we should probably not keep Luna waiting.”
“Excuse me.” Oh great it’s the blue pony, no wait Luna, got to remember that name. “I’m now sure that the both of you are
not here in violence against Equestria, but what are you going on about?” Innocence, time to ruin it!
“Well pony princess, my name is Luke Skywalker. This is my father Lord Darth Vader. We somehow managed to survive the explosion of the Death Star, but ended up here by accident, can you help us get home?” Ah, I needed to relieve my extra built up sarcasm. It was starting to gnaw at the edges of my mind.
I braced myself for the inevitable. A clawed talon slapped across my grinning face.“Let the grown-ups talk please. Anyways, my name is actually Solanum, and his is…” he trails off, obviously expecting me to give a phony name for myself.
“You know that actually did hurt ya ass. Another thing, just because we’re in pony land doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to change my name!” Bad enough the dick changed his. I was just starting to actually remember what it was.
“Do you two always argue this much?” Why yes, princess obvious, we do. “I don’t see how the two of you would be companions if you do not keep good company with each other.”
“Lady, I don’t keep good company with anybody. Everyone stays the fuck out of my business and I pretend I actually give a shit about theirs sometimes.”
“That doesn’t sound like a very nice childhood. Where did you live?” Oh great, we’re at that prying stage in the conversation. God I hated these kinds of people. But on pain of another slap I might as well humor her.
“I lived in this tiny ass town named Winfield.” There, happy now?
“I have never heard of such a town, pray tell, what state is it in?” I feel like faceplanting just to get the torture over and done with. No wait, that’ll put me back in the hospital.
“Iowa.”
“I can’t say I’ve ever heard of that state either. You must be a traveler from far away I presume then?”
I’m so annoyed that all I can make out is a mumble. “Yes, you could say that.”
“Wonderful, we’re actually getting somewhere!” She turned to Scott, or is it Solanum now? “And where might you be from, strange griffon?”
He chuckles. “I’m from ‘Murica.”
“Really? Really? I mean come on, that’s the best you’ve got!? I figured if you were making up names you might as well get good, but Murica? What the holy mother god fuck is wrong with your brain?” To be honest I wasn’t being fair to him. I probably should have tacked on a few more insults to that.
Success! Eye roll!“However Princess Luna, that is why we needed to speak with you and your sister; we’ll explain everything then.”
“Why not now? You got me out of the stupid hospital to talk with her and now you say we won’t? What are you? A indecisive woman?” Granted that did come out a bit sexist, but it’s true!
“Impatient little one isn’t he?” Yeah great, insult the only pon-person making logical sense.
"Like I said, ignore him. Seriously though, how long until we meet Celestia? My leg’s beginning to burn again.”
”Well, she’s actually not here right now; it’s just me.”
He drops a swear under his breath. “No offense, but why didn’t you tell us sooner? We could’ve made this trip a whole lot easier.” Both of us them realize that we had stopped in front of a large pair of doors with crescent moons on them “This is your room isn’t it?”
“Wow, this is awkward. Well I’m officially uncomfortable, glad to have met you, thanks for not incarcerating us but obviously you’re tired, so bye!”
“Yes it is. Though I did not mean to come this way, odd that we stumbled across it while aimlessly wandering.” Wow, she actually took his advice and started ignoring me.
“Hooray!” And that’s when I take off down the hall.
Holy shit I’m floating! Oh god why the hell am I floating?! I turn back and see Luna's horn glowing with dark blue aura. I slide through the air and back to her and Sco-Solanum. “Now, shall we enter and discuss these ‘important’ details you keep speaking of?”
Solan (I’m just gonna call him that; makes it so much easier.), of course, opens the door and holds it open for her royal cheapness. “Sure, why not.”
“You both suck.. like REALLY SUCK! You princess Luna or whatever for using your magic to cheat. And you Sco-Solan for just generally being a dick sometimes.”
He winks in reply. “My pleasure.”
“Touche bro, that was actually pretty good.” I had to give credit to where it was deserved, else I would feel absolutely
stupid. “Hey Luna, can you let me down? I promise not to try to run away.” Oh I am so going to book it as soon as she lets me go.
He plasters a big grin all over his face and turns to Luna. “Do you pinkie promise?”
Luna for her part gasped in surprised. “Surely, you can’t be serious.”
Scott's face remains stoically serious. “I am serious, and don’t call me Shurly.”
“I can sense the hidden meaning behind that. Obviously it has some meaning behind the words. So yes I ‘pinkie promise’.” Idiots, I don’t have pinky fingers anymore!
Apparently this is what he wanted because he is still grinning. “Hold on, you gotta do something first.” Scott/Solanum guides me through the crossing of my heart with my hooves. Then he flaps my fire hooves like wings and finally guides my foregoing to almost poke myself in the eye.
“Okay… Um, what the hell are you doing to me?” Luna lets me down after the motions are completed.
His face becomes from.“Something sacred. Now, if you attempt to run, you’ll be chased by something worse than the devil himself. And no, I will not elaborate.” He shudders.
“Hey Scott,” I say, forgetting about his new name, “Describe my life in a nutshell would you?”
He doesn't even have the decency to look at me. “Here are the three words that describe my life. I. Don’t. Care.”
“Eh, close enough. BYE!” I bolt for the blessed doors and make it around the corner before the princess can capture me once again. Tell you something. I’m the same species as royalty of a country, situated in their room, and they also happen to be the opposite sex. I see where this disney story is going. And boy I do not want to get to the end!
I hear claws scrape against the stone floor; Scott has given chase. “James! Whatever you do, don’t break the promise!”
“WELL FOR ONE I HAD MY HOOVES CROSSED! AND TWO, I DON’T CARE! HAHAHAHAHAHA EAT WHATEVER I’M KICKING UP ASS HOLE! OH SHIT STAIRS!” By god I’ve found the natural enemy to the pony, stairs. Those fuckers came up at the end of the hallway and I became airborne. Funny, I don’t remember going up any stairs getting to Luna’s room. But no matter. time to hit the stone stairs on my way down.
“Ow!” *thump* “FUCK!” *thump* “YOU!” *thump* “STUPID” *thump* ”ARCHITECTS!” *thump*
"I told you not to break your promise!" Yes, because breaking a promise causes people to fall down stairs.Sollimped down the stairs while Luna gracefully trotted behind. “Might wanna tie him to a chair when we get back. Besides, it’s not like he’ll be going anywhere.
"So I broke my leg again." I try to stand, getting a painful result that causes me to wince. "Big deal. You can't hold me captive. You try and I will break YOUR foot off in your own ass."
"Why do you assume that I'm in possession of a donkey? We don't condone slavery here. Was it common practice where you came from?"
"Lady, er, Luna, your ass is your butt." I point and glance at said part of her body. "And yours seems to be graced with an awesome looking tattoo! Where'd you get it? Was it painful?" I'm much more curious than angry now, such is my fickle mind.
Luna glances at Solanum who decides to respond. “Don’t worry, that’ll be explained as well Princess.”
“Why do we need all this damn explanations just come out and say it or I will. You have 10 seconds.”
Maybe I should start counting eye rolls as well. That will start him at one I guess. “I’ll start the ten seconds when we get back to her room, and you’re tied down.”
“8-7-6, you know you really ought to be explaining instead of wasting your time. 3-2-1 Oh you know what, fuck it! I’m a human, he’s a human. We got kidnapped by changelings and I’m an asshole by nature. That all you wanted to know sweet cheeks?” Alright, i might have gone a bit far with that last comment but to be frank i really wanted someone to slap me again. Just in case i really was having an extremely lucid dream.
Luna glares at me for a few seconds before speaking. “First off, thank you for the comment about my mouth." I withhold a sarcastic comment. I know when to shut up thankfully. "Secondly, what is a human? And last, Solanum, are you going to give a more detailed explanation, in my room ?”
Solanum has a face that looks more like a deer caught in headlights then that of a fierce mythological bird. I'll tease him about it later.“Um, yes I will, your majesty. Perhaps we should head there now?”
I smirk as Luna throws a glare at me for my sarcasm. “Yes, we should. Now come along you two.”
Floating around in magic sounds like fun, but it isn't. Princess of trolls, miss Luna dear, decided it would be funny to just parade me down the hallway. I caught a few snickers, but those were silenced after I glared at the offenders.
Finally we made it back into the bedroom and Luna shut the door. She set me on the bed, the magic dissipating around everything but my back leg. Before I can react, I blame my injuries, she has tied a sheet in a significantly complicated knot around my leg and that of the bed's. Again I curse the cheating abilities of magic ponies.
"There, that should take care of him. Please continue with your explanation. " Hmmph.
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Strawberry Frosting
V^^V^V^V^V^V^V
You know that feeling, when you’re about to have an oral presentation in school, or any meeting where you’re the center of attention? You get butterflies in your stomach and you want to throw up. That was my reaction when I stood before the entrance of what Peachy called ‘Manehattan’. I was going to be put under deep scrutiny, trying to fit in with an unknown species. Well, unknown for me. I thought, staring at the little filly on my back.
I wanted to ask my filly mentor lying on my back if I was ready, but I saw that her eyes were closed, leading me to guess that she was asleep. It surprised me how much sleep a little filly needs. Instead of staring at her sleeping body, I’ve decided to look at my surrounding before entering the imposing city.
First thing, when I raised my head to look at the sky, I saw something that shattered my scientific mind, which was trying to recover from my sister’s description of the location we were in. What was so impressing, however, was the sky going against what we call on earth ‘hydrologic circle’.
By this logic, water gets evaporated into clouds and comes back as rain. Yet, I was seeing pegasi, like Peachy, moving clouds using their hooves. If clouds are really made of water, the equine would only pass through without contact, but there was obvious contact and movement. What are those clouds made of, Mercury? Nah, too heavy.
I lowered my eyes and stared at one of the unicorns. He, or she, was walking with a purse in a street in front of me. Must be a girl, if purses are the same here. Then, her horn glowed and… her purse floated in front of her, allowing her to grab something in it. Wait… is she doing telekinesis? THEY’RE REALLY DOING MAGIC!? I stared dumbfounded, trying to find a scientific reasoning behind what I saw.
As I was listening to sounds all around me, I felt a small movement on my back. “We finally reached the city?” I turned my head to see that she still had her eyes closed. Looks like she was only resting her eyes. She is as good as a real filly at faking stuff. Hehehe…
“Yup…” I said, emotionless. She opened her eyes and stared into the distance. I followed her eyes, and saw another unicorn, her coat a shade of orange and mane a gray-blue color, floating some gold coins in the air.
Hey eyes grew wide and her mouth curled up into a smile. Her mouth approached my ear and tried to whisper so only I could hear. ”Wow, I never thought that magic would be so cool to see in… pony.” She said with some sparks in her eyes.
I sighed, shaking my head. “Yeah, but it’s going against hundreds of laws that make up physics. It’s melting my brain.” I took my head between my legs and closed my eyes.
She looked at me, amused. ”Just like becoming a mare or a filly. Come on pony up. Let’s visit the outskirt of Manehattan.” She said with a giggle. I opened my eyes and seeing her giggling made me giggle too.
“Yeah, I guess you’re ri-” I said before realizing that we were busted. A light blue and straight yellow maned pegasus mare started trotting near us. I just realized that staying still is a better attention grabber than walking with the flow. I mentally punched myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid…
“Hello there! I saw you standing there staring at the distance. Is there something wrong?” I looked behind me and tried to motion at my sister for her help, but she went back to faking sleeping. Pfft, talk about helpful. I thought.
“Uhh, we just arrived and I was impressed by the height of the city. It’s far bigger than we are used to.” I lied, but she hadn't caught it. She smiled in a genuine way, something that I was not used to back on Earth. She seems nice, I wish I could know her more, but I hate social interactions.
“I know, right! I remember when I moved from Canterlot. We had tall castles, but no tall buildings like those.” She looked over me to see the filly ‘sleeping’ on my back beside my bag. “I can see that you are… tourists? What are you and your cute daughter doing here?” She asked. My mind reanalyzed what she said. Do we really look alike that much. And does our age difference make it fine?
At the mention of the word ‘daughter’, Peachy’s ear twitched, but we received no other reaction. I looked over and grinned evilly. It’s payback time! “Yes, me and my little sweetie here are visiting… Manehattan here. We would like to find a good place to stay.” I answered.
Peachy’s eyes shot up when I confirmed that we were mother and daughter. “Pfft, I’m not little.” She stated, pouting. Take that, grandpa. You will see why people fear teenagers. I thought. I rubbed her mane, receiving a small disapproving sound.
“Oh, you will see, it’s a great… city…” She stared at my eyes. “Wait, is that a black eye? What happened to you? Did you come here by hoof!? Why didn’t you take the train?” She bombarded me with questions.
I looked behind me for some help, but my new daughter looked as confused as me. “Uhh… it’s a… long story.” I answered simply. “I really don’t want to talk about it.” I’ve decided to conjure my acting classes and tried to look sad. It must have worked because she looked genuinely sad. On Peachy’s side, she hid her face into my mane, looking sadden by speech.
“I will not push it further then. If you want somepony to talk to, you can find me in the pastry shop house near the town’s fountain. It’s called ‘Chocolate’s Bread and Pastries’. I might find you a place to live too.” She said in a mix of sad and happy. Then, she stared at me again. “Anyway, it’s… hot outside today, isn’t it?” She asked. I looked at her with confusion, but decided to answer her question anyway.
“Uhh… yeah, it’s really hot. Almost like a sauna.” I said while waving a hoof, like a fan, near my face. I could swear the pegasus flinched. I felt like I was missing something, but I never was good at finding stuff between lines.
The little filly on my back looked at me with confusion, but her face showed the sign of realization, followed by an evil grin.I think she knows about what the pegasus is talking about. I guess that I’m gonna ask her later. After realizing this, she went back to her filly self. ”Miss pegasus, what is your name?” She said in a shy voice.
The mare giggled and slowly petted her. “My name is Sweet Breeze,” She looked at both of us. “And what are your names?” She asked. Okay, this is the time to forget my last life. My first steps toward pony life… and all of it is fake. I thought.
“I’m Strawberry Frosting. Nice to meet you, Miss. Breeze.” I said to her, my reflex of calling adults ‘miss’ and ‘mister’ coming back, even though we were both adults.
She smiled to me again. “No need for such formalities, we are both normal ponies here.” She looked at Peachy. “And what about you, little one?” She asked, petting her again.
This time, my ‘daughter’ really looked shy. Wow, she spruced up her act in the last 10 seconds. ”Peachy… Frosting…” She said, barely over a whisper, but enough for Sweet to understand. Sweet looked at her with a motherly look.
“Don’t be afraid, Peachy. How old are you, Little One?” She winked while saying this. I giggled at her pun and waited for an answer from the other side. Then, I stared at her. She looked back at me and I shared her stress. How does aging work with equines? How old would she be considered? I wondered.
“Well, let’s make a game out of this. How old do you think she is?” I asked the pegasus mare. She placed her hoof on her chin, tapping it lightly. Then, she raised it up when she found an answer.
“Let’s make it… 7 years old?” She tried. So, she looks like seven, eh? Let’s make it her new age then! I looked at Peachy and we both smiled. Another problem down! We both thought. I looked back at Sweet, the smile still on my face.
“You got it on the spot! Congratulation.” I exclaimed with a wink. She laughed and, like a contagious yawn, we laughed too for a good minute. After getting our breath back, she came back into a normal position.
“Anyway, you should really find me at the pastry shop. We could take a small coffee and I could show you around town. By the way, it may sound weird, but refuse any invitation any stallions would ask you. Don’t ask question, just refuse politely.” She repeated. When coffee was mentioned, Peachy’s ear perked up. I guess she liked coffee in her last life. Naturally, she became saddened when she realized that she was a kid.
“Uhh… okay. Anyway, why don’t we go there now? We have a… slight money problem and we don’t really have anywhere else to go yet,” I said, a bit embarrassed. She looked at me with a lot of confusion.
“You say you are visiting, even planned living here, yet you have no money? How does this make sense?” She asked with fear in her voice. I looked at my mentor and we shrugged. Tell her or not tell her, that is the question. Whether ‘tis truth in the words shall conquer her heart or shall dig our graves. No more lies, and by half-truth I say we continue. Heh, Hamlet. I said, turning my mind into a stage with Shakespeare holding the play.
“Well… it’s a long story.” I started, hoping that she had something else to do and would push it later. Instead, she sat her flank on the dirt and stared at us, ready.
“Ready when you are, sister.” She said in determination. Well, I shalt be damned. She actually wants to hear it. Why doth thy moon of bad luck shine upon me. I started to scratch my arm by reflex, trying to find a way to run away. When she called me sister, Peachy giggled. When I looked at her, she motioned me to continue talking… with her wing. I can do it… for her.
“Okay, let’s start… We were kidnapped by changelings…” I started to explain, but was cut already. Her eyes grew wide and she moved back, her flank still on the floor. When I said changeling, however, Peachy hid herself in my mane. When Sweet saw her doing that, her motherly instinct kicked in and felt the fear radiating from the little one. I looked behind at the little filly, wanting to look at her acting, but was met with, surprising enough, true fear.
It was my turn to act like a real mother. I turned my new flexible neck and nuzzled her, which surprised both of us. While I was thinking that it was weird, but okay, Peachy actually liked it, feeling better when I did that.
“What happened for her to be so scared?” She asked, actually wanting to know what happened. I’ve decided to continue my story.
“Anyway, like I said, we were kidnapped by changelings. They got us on our way here, but we’ve managed to get out. Sadly, before running away, they punched me on my eye. They stole our money and our stuff. All we could keep is this bag.” I told her. She listened without saying anything. I could see that she was starting to feel bad for doubting me, both about money or being a changeling.
“The m- stallion who hurt mommy is regretting it now.” Peachy said with her little voice. It’s been a good time since she said something, surprising me. Still, this comment made Sweet giggle. I giggled too, petting my filly.
“I wouldn’t want to be in that changeling’s body during at the moment. With your earth pony strength, I’m sure he wouldn’t feel anything for days.” She said, laughing. I remembered when Peachy explained that earth ponies were powerful.
“Anyway, weren’t you doing something before talking to me?” I asked the pegasus. She stood up in a swift movement, realizing what I just said.
“Oh my, I need to go buy some ingredients for my brother. Look, find me at the city’s fountain in 10 minutes.” She quickly said. When she started flying away, which still surprised me, I stopped her.
“Uhh, isn’t there more than one fountain in this city? Which one?” I asked her. She tapped her chin again and pointed in front of us.
“Go this way and you’ll find the Bethesda Fountain. You’ll recognize it, by the cow statue on it.” She explained. I nodded at her, signaling her escape. She jumped, using her wings to spring up into the air. I looked at her, analyzing her movements, trying to understand how it was possible for such a heavy creature to soar using wings.
I turned my head to look at Peachy, who was looking in the air with amazement and a hint of jealousy. It’s obvious; she’s a pegasus who can’t fly yet. I wish that she could defy the laws of physics one day. I thought. When she was far enough to be out of hearing range, I’ve decided to walk slowly toward the city.
“Hey, Sweetheart, what do you think of that winged mare?” I asked my partner in crime. She stared at me with her eye twitching. I don’t think that she likes the nickname ‘Sweetheart’. Another reason to use it.
She stomped her hoof on my back, hurting me a bit. ”What the he-hay were you thinking? I thought we agreed to be sisters! Neither of us liked the mother-daughter idea…” She shouted loud enough so only me could hear it. Still, even when she shouted, she looked cute.
I pet her head again and explained “When she asked about you being my daughter, I made the link that our age difference is a bit too much for sisterhood, so, to make it more… realistic, you know what happened.” I shrugged. “What is the worst that could happen?”
“I could strangle you.” She warned me casually. I looked at her and laughed.
“Awwww, you are so cute. Don’t worry, if you strangle me, I could force you to wear a dress. Being your mother now, you’re mine.” I stared with a smile that could make Lucifer piss his pants. When she realized whom she was dealing with, she lowered her head in defeat.
”Why me…?” She asked to nopony. I moved my head near her and nuzzled her.
“Hey, that’s my line.” I smiled warmly, making her smile. “I’m sure you don’t want me to give you hugs and kisses until you stop seeing the light of day.” She shivered at the thought, but I swear I saw a glimpse of desire, like if she wanted me to touch her like a mother would.
“I’m sure that I can find a way to return you the favor. Actually, I already have an idea.” She grinned like a demon, which could be scary enough to make me piss my metaphorical pants and make Lucifer kill himself.
“Pfft, the worst you can do is sing Beer Beer Beer entering the city, and I can shut you up by grabbing your muzzle. It’s like those things are made to be shut.” I told her, grabbing her muzzle with a hoof as an example. She shook her head and blew a raspberry.
”The last ponies that underestimated my annoyance were the changelings. You could be surprised.” It was my turn to shiver. If I remember correctly from past experience, never underestimate kids and younglings. They are more than unpredictable.
“Let me list what I can do if you do anything evil. I can confiscate your cell phone; I can make you wear a dress… I can send you back to school.” I stared at her, hoping that my teeth could turn pointy, but I knew that such coincidence wouldn’t happen. Even if they didn’t change, I could see her face turn white.
“Sch-sch-school? Anything, but that…” She stuttered, looking at me like if I was a living monster. I kept my smile up, indeed calming her.
“Oh really? I mean, look at you. If they have the same school system from the holy land of maple syrup, you would be in…” I took my hoof up by reflex, expecting fingers for me to count with, but was met by the appendage I was supposed to be used to. “... Uhh… second grade. So, do you dare humiliate me?” I menaced her, but was met by a grin that only bad fillies would make.
”Of course! I’m supposed to be your little filly after all. Humiliating you is my job.” Why do I think she’s going to be a nuisance later… how dare I think that of my ‘daughter’!
I sighed, pointing around somewhere where Sweet flew away. “Anyway, what do you think of the señorita we talked to?”
She tapped her chin. ”Well, she seems to be a fine pony. I didn’t expect her to offer to help us that easily.” She paused for a second. ”Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if their society principal values are the same as the Elements of Harmony.”
I tilted my head in confusion. “The thing of doohickey what?” I joked, but with truth behind it.
She facehoofed and recoiled from the contact. I guess she forgot that she now has hooves. ”I forgot to mention them to you? Basically, they are Equestria strongest magic, even stronger than the Princesses I mentioned. Each element represents a value. There is Honesty, Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, my favorite Laughter and the last one is… Magic I think.”
“So there is magic thingies stronger than beings considered gods that are cast through catalysts that holds the name of good emotions and actions? Or are you gonna tell me that the magic is really just physical representations of these emotions?” I tried to paraphrase, but left her comprehension in the dust.
She decided to take what she understood and leave the rest. “To be honest, I don’t know how they work. But they were used to seal Princess Luna on the Moon when she went crazy.” I stared at her, trying to understand. Magic, duh… I don’t know why, but this sentence kind of answers any questions.
I’ve decided to link this new information with what I knew. “Wait, somepony sealed the moon goddess on… her moon? I don’t think the Celestia one really liked it. Must’ve been a bloodbath.” I said, overdoing my accent.
“The cartoon doesn’t mention what happened when Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon, but it was her sister that sealed her in the end.” She explained. Maaaaaagic~~! Wait, sister drama, me likey.
“You’re telling me that sisters here used to be angry at each other? Glad you are my daughter. Anyway, ponies’ lives are based on those 6 characteristics. Glad you told me that, because we are totally not lying our asses… flanks right now.” I whispered the lying part in case somepony wanted to eavesdrop on our conversation. Like that cute blue stall- wait, what am I thinking?
“The show said that Princess Luna got jealous of her sister because everypony shunned her nights. If you want to know my opinion, there must be much more to the story. Beside, Princess Celestia didn’t seal her because she hated her sister, but because she had no choice to protect her ponies.” She paused. “We should still be as honest as possible. Should anypony learn the truth, I’m certain they would understand why we had to lie.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I pet her, receiving an angry sound back “I’ll do my best to bend truth in a way that it doesn’t go overboard.” I told her, trying to explain how I’ll handle the situation.
She shook her head after I pet her. ”What is it with you adults and petting me…” She stared at me while making that statement. Did she just call herself a child? She is really going all in with that acting.
“I don’t know, it just feels… right.” I shrugged. “Anyway, there is something that I want to ask you. Why were you so shy or scared during our last conversation with Sweet? It’s not like you were shy when we met or scared when we faced the changeling.”
“Oh that…” She looked around, trying to find an escape. ”Well… Normally I need time to learn more about other persons, or ponies in this case before feeling at ease with them. When we met, you could say I was in crisis management mode so I was busy trying to find a way out than thinking about that… As for now, well...” She took a glimpse at me, her face blushing like never before. ”I feel safer with you nearby…”
“Safer… with me nearby? What is that supposed to mean? Are you getting into your role? And what about fear? I should be more scared than you, I… was younger and less action prepared.” I bombarded her with questions without thinking. She grabbed my neck and hugged it.
“No!” She said in a little bit loud voice.” I mean; I’m not playing any role at the moment… I don’t know, maybe it is an instinctual response and I kind of latched unto you because you were the first pony I saw. All I know is that your contact seem to have a positive effect on me...” She shrugged and frowned. ”As for changelings… First, tell me what you think of them.”
“Uhh… that’s a weird question. They were scary, really scary. And they broke so much scientific laws that Einstein and Newton would piss their pants. What does it have to do with your current fear? Also… did you said… I had a positive effect on you? When there are nopony around you can stop doing what you’re doing, ya’ know?” I told her, trying to sound polite. Her actions were starting to rub my nerves.
She shouted, but tried to keep a bit of control. “I am not acting!” She looked around and cleared her throat, trying to change the subject. “I actually tried to punch one. James too.” She explained, shaking her front hoof in the air.
“Don’t try to change subject on me, lil’ one. Explain to me what you mean by not acting. You actually mean that I inspire your trust, have a positive effect on you, and you consider me your protector. Don’t tell me you actually think of me as your mother?” I asked her, already knowing the answer. The body and the mind are always connected. If one changes...
She rolled her eyes when I mentioned me as her mother. Yet, she scratched her arm, which I realized meant that she was thinking to tell the truth.” I guess it is the protector one.” She started to relax. ”For now at least…”
“So, you say that you actually think of me as your mother?” I asked her, wanting to see if she was ready to face the truth. By her actions, she was obviously doing more than acting.
Her eyes widened when I continued the subject she tried to evade. ”Hopefully we will be long gone before I start to lose myself that much in my role… Can’t we just go back to punching the changelings?”
I sighed. I guess that the truth don’t actually come from the foal’s mouth. “Okay, so you said that you punched one? Wow… wait, they didn’t look even injured. Do they have the same body structure as other earthly insects with the sturdy exoskeleton and stuff?” I asked, trying to find any creature to compare them to.
“Probably… James even kicked one but all he managed was to dent his steel reinforced boots…” My eyes grew wide. Looks like my hypothesis was correct.
“Ouch, that’s impressive and surprising. If you punched, does that mean that you broke your wrist or something?” I asked while looking at the hoof she shook in the air.
“Na, my ha-leg is fine…” She frowned again, looking even more down. ”We are lucky that we managed to get away, even if we are stuck as female ponies. We were completely at their mercy…Powerless...” She shivered. She really looked scared.
“Not that powerless. You and the two others seemed to have the situation… okay, not under controlled, but in a state of ‘can’t go worst’. I was only there to be a dead weight. I should be the one scared shitless of this ordeal.” I admitted to her. She blushed while frowning.
“At least you aren’t the one who tripped…” Her mood became even worst, almost to the point to crying. “If we encounter them again, at least you’ll be able to hurt them this time. Me? I’m just a weak little filly…” She lowered her head in shame.
I added all of what I heard and managed to make out the problem. “So THAT’S why you’re scared. If they are still searching for us, you will not be able to protect us due to your new… “ I cleared my throat. “...body.”
She kept her head low, which told me that I just hit the sore spot. I knew how she felt, being the small one in a group of adult under attack by horse bugs. I grabbed her head from the back and made her look at me.
“Look, I understand how you feel. I mean, between you and me, I was at your place beforehoof. Still, it’s my turn to protect you, even though I have no idea how.” I turned my head away and whispered to myself. “Wow, this encouragement speech sucked so bad.”
She looked up and I looked at her. ”You don’t have much choice on the matter, mommy.” She smiled a bit after saying this, making me smile too. She doesn’t seem to be bothered to call me mommy… and I actually like it… Wow, I guess that I must get used to this.
“I know, but don’t think that I can do this alone. It’s a team effort and you are my partner in crime, Captain Picard.” I grinned, coming back on an old joke, yet she groaned at me mentioning her real name.
”At least we know that the ponies are already wary of changelings. That should play in our favor while we are in a big city like Manehattan. And who know, Miss Breeze seemed like a great pony to have as a friend.” Wow, she called her ‘miss’. At least I’m not miss Berry, I’m not that old… wait, yes I am now.
“Maybe… speaking of her, I think we’re lost.” I stated, looking around trying to find any waypoint, but failed. She sighed, pointing a random pony in the opposite of our general direction.
“Eh, I guess you should backtrack and ask somepony? I wouldn’t be much of help to you, even with a map of the place… Just avoid talking to stallions.” She warned me, repeating what Sweet Breeze told me earlier. Yet, I was as confused as the first time.
“Uhh… why? Does it have to do with what Sweet said? I understood nothing of her warning.” I tried to explain to her. She looked at me, trying to find a way to explain a teenager the rudiment of animal sexual tendencies.
“What the difference between a male and female cat?” She asked me as an example. I tried to analyze both sex and came to the most logical conclusion.
“What’s between their legs?"
Without realizing it, she raised her wing and scratched her head. ”Let put it differently. What is the difference between a woman and a female cat? Other than the specie.” This was a tricky question. Every difference is linked to the specie, both physically and mentally.
“Good question. If it’s nothing related to their specie, I guess that it’s related to their sex, yet they are both female.” I shook my head. “Stop horse ing’ around and give me the answer.” I shouted impatiently, a bit too loud for our taste.
“I think you are having too much fun with puns…” She hesitated for few seconds, only adding more impatience on the plate. ”Miss Breeze meant that you were currently in estrus.”
“Estrus? If I follow your lead, it’s related to being female, but what is it?” I asked, oblivious. I am not dumb because I didn’t know that, I was oblivious because my biology classes didn’t talk about animal sex.
“You are in heat! Thankfully I’m too young for it to happen to me.” In heat? Is that a new way to say that it’s over 20 degrees Celsius? I shook my hoof in front of my face like I used to do as a human to make some air. Sadly, it’s not as effective with a keratin appendage.
“In heat, like… hot outside… Okay, that’s not it, obviously, but I’m lost anyway. What does being in this ‘estrus’ have to do with me trying to stay away from males?” I was starting to feel dumb. I never was good in animal biology, but was a champion in the human one. Now, I need to learn the first in a crash course and forget the second one.
“Oh, come on it couldn’t be more obvious! You are fertile, emitting pheromones telling every stallions that your body is ready to mate!” She said a bit too loud, but attracted no attention. What she just said made her face go red.
An awkward silence settled between us. “God…. daaaaaamn.” It was my turn to blush deeply. “Uhh… sorry? We didn’t learn that at school.” I looked around for stallions, making sure that there was none nearby. Okay, now I hate males. If I understand, they’ll try to rape me due to my pheromones if we approach one. I scratched the itch under me. And this heat thing is really annoying. Okay, let’s find something else to think. “What do you think about going to that fountain, Metal Gear style?”
“It won’t work, Snake, as it wouldn’t cover up your pheromones. Actually, I’m surprised that it didn’t affect your thoughts.” Maybe pheromones work in the cartoon logic department. Or maybe I actually didn’t bother looking at stallions on my way here.
“Cartoon rule #37: Obvious stuff happens only when the main character realize that it doesn’t work. Example is gravity, another example being pheromones.” I explained, trying to imitate one of my teacher’s voices, but remembered that imitating a man while being a female is bound to fail.
She rolled her eyes at my pitiful attempt at humor. “Right. Could you help me down mommy? Some exercise wouldn’t hurt me.” She looked at her belly and saw that it was like Jell-O. Wow, cartoon physics can’t stop to impress me. If this would be a dream, I would be high.
“What, don’t like the service of Mama Taxi incorporated? Okay then…” I dropped my head in a way that she could use it as stairs.
“It isn’t that I don’t like the service, but I’m going to fall asleep again if I stay on your comfortable back.” She started to walk down, but slipped and fell on the side. ”Eep!” I managed to grab her with my hoof at the last second, stopped right over the floor.
“Watch out, sweetie.” I dropped her slowly on the floor, petting her a bit to remove dust. “We wouldn’t want to visit the hospital early.” I scolded her. She rolled her eyes.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure my body can handle crashes from an higher height.” She sighed while stretching herself. ”I do feel less and less human though… Say, how come I haven’t seen you face plant too? There is a rather big difference in our walk pattern…” She wondered out loud.
“I think I woke up before you and I’ve used my memories of quadrupeds walk cycles to imitate them.” I explained, trying to remember earlier in the day, which was difficult for my bad memory. “Also, what do you mean by less and less human? Don’t you get corrupted, young man.” I joked, but with a hidden truth.
“Well, for one we have no hands. Also, “ She flapped her wings once and moved her tail to emphasize her point. “ the extra appendages don’t help on the matter. Or the missing one…” She looked between her legs.
I looked at her. “The wh-, oh, never mind. I understand. Yet, the mind is the important thing now. We need to stay human in mind, but pony in body.” I explained. Wow, I must sound like a philosopher.
She looked at me annoyed. ”We’ll need to talk later about what being human in mind mean…Still, I wouldn't mind to keep the fur and maybe even the tail. Anyway, we were talking about habits here. Unless…” She trailed of, placing her hoof on her chin, thinking deeply.
“Habits, you mean that I got used too… quickly? And unless what?” I tried to make sense out of what she said. I’ve decided to shrug what she said before breaking my head.
That was the moment when she came out of her train of thought. ”For some animals, knowing how to walk is actual instinctual so the babies can already do so only a few minutes after birth. Especially in prey species. Like ponies...” I think I forget to mention her that I didn’t have any animal biology class… so all of this is a mind buck for me.
“What is this explication leading to?” I asked bluntly, tired of being dumb about everything a seven-year-old filly was explaining me. So that’s how my parents feel when I explained to them the basics of Pokemon.
“Well… The reason why we can walk so easily on all four is because the knowledge have been engraved in our brain.” She looked around and noticed a random mare standing near us who was looking at some papers. ”You should ask that mare for directions. If you are wondering, mares have rounded muzzles while stallion have squared ones.” She pointed the mare with her wing, but noticed the movement this time. ”Say, did I use a lot my wings for gestures?”
“You point, you think and you pet with your wing.” I giggled. “Did you just realize that?” I touched her wing, receiving a small reaction.
“Yes… I guess my subconscious have been rewritten too…” She started thinking out loud again. “So wingboners could be true too…” She wondered out loud. If this is portmanteau of wing and… oh damn.
“You know, I’m not gonna ask about… those. Still, let’s ask that mare over there.” When I realized what I said, I reduced my voice volume. “Heh, mare, there, rhymes.” I walked toward what looked like a buisnessmare.
When she realized that I heard her wingboner comment, her face’s color could have been compared to a tomato. When I started to walk, she followed close to my leg, but not as close as when we were in the forest.
I looked at the mare, summoning the courage to ask her our way. I hate talking to strangers, even before the kidnapping happened. “Hello miss, do you know where we could find the Bethside Fountain?” I asked, accidentally mispronouncing the name.
“Oh, you mean the Bethesda Fountain?” She pointed at our right. When we turned around, a fountain with a giant cow statue met us. I facehoofed, wondering how I missed something so big.
“Oh… uhh… sorry, we kind of missed it.” I apologized, smiling awkwardly. The mare nodded and went back to her paper reading. We trotted toward our destination. At the end, I wasn’t that lost. Hah, I should have never doubted you, my mental GPS.
I looked around, impressed on how awesome this place looked. The statue, made out of copper and gold, was looking quite impressive near the humongous fountain. The light mist around the splashing water was quite a calming touch after all of this happened.
“Now, we are in public, so don’t do anything too… childish.” I warned my little filly. She looked at me with a smile.
“Foalish you mean? I can’t promise anything.” Peachy corrected me. She looked at the statue and started humming asmall tune . I listened to it for a few seconds, but I haven’t managed to find out what it was.
“What… are you humming?” She continued humming, obviously trying to end what she started.
“Cow with an umbrella.” I stared at her, trying to understand what she said. An awkward pause ensued. ”Ever heard the Holly Dolly Song?” I shook my head.
“Yeaaa…..no.” I shrugged. “Not really. What is it about?” I was curious about the theme of such a weird named song.
“A cow ‘singing’.” She quoted with her wings. This time, both of us realized it. Peachy quickly placed her wings back on her body.
“Interestingly weird.” I simply stated. “Now, can you look around to see if Miss Breeze is here?” I placed my hoof over my eyes and looked around.
“Hopefully you’ll get used to weird. Anyway, you would most likely see her first considering your height…” She stopped and thought about something. Then, she grinned maniacally. ”I know how to get her attention easily.” My eyes grew wide.
“Wait, OH NO, do not do ANYTHING to lure attenti-” I was cut off by the annoying singing voice as an evil filly gathered attention.
“Make way for Princess Berry!” Shesang while walking away from me. This song that I know from the movie Aladdin is made to gather attention.
That’s the moment when my fear of attention kicks in. Some people find it ironic that I hate attention, yet I’m good at customer support. “Eek!” I started to slowly walk away, trying to hide from the hundreds of eyes staring at me.
Like a cue, the pheromones produced by my body started flying in the air, attracting the nose of interested stallions. Some of them, who were already with the mare of their dreams, used all of their strength to stop their crazy minds. Sadly, not all of them were like that.
One of them started walking toward me. He was a beige unicorn with a cherry red mane, with sleek muscles. He approached me, grabbed my hoof and kissed it. Urg… this… is not as disgusting as I thought. I blushed and he smiled, seeing that I’ve reacted.
“Hello Madam. I’ve never seen such a beautiful mare in my life. Would you like to go to my house and get some tea?” The stallion asked, obviously trying to hit on me. In my mind, I knew that saying no was obvious, but my brain wanted to accept their offer. Am I… really wanting to that? Before I could say something, however, another stallion wearing a beret pushed him away.
“Bonjours Madame, je suis sur que vous aimez les etalons qui parlent prancais.” [Hello miss, I know you like stallions who speaks prench.] He bowed. “Toutes les belles princesses comme vous aime le prancais.” [Every beautiful princesses like you likes prench.] He thought he could win me with some cheesy french lines, yet it impressed me. I wanted to know more about him, but knew that he was only doing this for sex..
I cleared my throat. “Pardon, mais votre tentative de m'interesser s’est planter.” [Sorry, but your attempt to impress me failed.] He gasped, surprised that I could speak french. Before I could answer the other one, a hoof grabbed me and my nose was touching a pegasus’ nose. The sudden change surprised me and the fact that he was invading my bubble annoyed me. “Uhh… can I help you?”
“You are so beautiful that I must ask you out. I know a good restaurant where we can know each other more.” He took a deep breath, grabbing the most pheromones possible. Okay, this creep is creepy, yet I want to… ARG, DAMN YOU, FEMININE HORNY MIND. Then, on both my side appeared the two ponies from before and the three started bickering, trying to win me.
As if it wasn’t enough yet, two other stallions joined them, trying to prove which of them was the best stallion for me. At first, for a few milliseconds, I thought it was touching, but now, it was scarier than anything.
“I’m better because I graduated from Canterlot Academy.”
“I’m better because I can speak three languages.”
“I’m better because I can sing.”
They all started to stare at me, waiting for me to choose one of them. I was about to cry before I heard another voice that actually sounded controlled. “Sweetheart, there you are!” He pushed the stallions out of his path and placed his hoof around my neck. “I’m sent by your daughter and Sweet Breeze. Play with me.” He whispered right beside my ear. I nodded, surprised that my ‘daughter’ sent me such a cute stallion....
“Oh, my love. You are finally back!” I nuzzled him, making us blush. Okay, I may be pushing the acting a bit too much… or is it because I like it. He sure looks sexier than the others. Why do I think of this? The five stallions all looked at us, mouth agape.
“What were you doing to her, sirs?” My new friend asked the group of horny ponies. They all blushed and looked around. Two of them ran away and the rest just acted like nothing happened. Him and I walked away, leaving the troublemakers behind.
We met with Sweet Breeze and the little demon itself. I stared at the filly who looked like guilt stabbed her multiple times in the last few minutes. “What did I told you about attention gathering. I HATE attention almost enough to be a phobia… AND YOU… arg, why? Why?” I shouted.
She started crying and sobbing, seeing that she really did wrong. ”I’m sorry…” She whispered, looking so cute that any female looking at her would try to help.
I stared at her and sighed as my motherly instinct kicked in. “You’d better be. Don’t think you’ll get out of this one with your hooves clean.” I sat down, grabbed and hugged her, trying to stop her crying and sobbing. While I nuzzled her, I looked at my savior. “Thank you for helping me… uhh… what is your name?” I asked him.
“I’m Chocolate Sprinkles, nice to meet you.” He pointed Sweet Breeze with a smile. ”And you must have met my sister, Sweet Breeze.” He said.
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Peachy Frosting
V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V
Oh no! What have I done!
I had started to sing a modified version of Prince Ali song from Aladdin to embarrass Mathias as my revenge for his sudden change on our status from sisters to mother and daughter, but the situation went south quickly. I succeed in attracting attention all right, especially that of all the stallions present in the cow statue’s square. And they lost no time to pinpoint the ex-man currently in estrus and quickly surrounded him. My ‘mother’ will be so right to be angry at my action.
I had lost sight of Mathias much too fast to make any supposition about if he would be able to deal with the situation alone, but considering that he was currently affected by a powerful mix of sexual hormones that his mind had no resistance build up and surrounded by Technicolor stallions, he was most likely in hell at the moment and it was unlikely he would manage to defuse the situation alone.
That left either the timely intervention of some kind soul or me. Unfortunately, nopony nearby seemed to willing to move to help him, probably thinking that he is used to deal with situation like this one… So that left me to find a way to help him. From my earlier experiences with Mathias, I knew that I couldn’t sound menacing even if my life depended on it. At best, I could probably give them diabetes. If only my body wasn’t so young.
My only hope was to find someone (hey, there isn’t only ponies in Equestria) that would help me. Maybe a cop? Back home, that would surely be classified as sexual harassment. The problem was that I had no idea how to identify one. Most of the ponies not in the testosterone circle were mostly naked with either a tie or some kind of hat on. A few mares were wearing a simple dress, an article that I’ll most likely meet up close soon enough. Nopony seemed to be cop.
My eyes fell on a familiar light blue pegasus slowly trotting toward the fountain, the reason of our trip to this mare’s trap. I lost no time galloping towards Miss Sweet Breeze, my only hope to help Mathias out. As I approached her at high speed, she recognized me and waved at me. Once I reached her, I tried to stop my course, but my inexperience with my body combined with my panic made me stumble and I rolled on ground, learning at the same time that my wings were actually quite sensitive.
Miss Breeze looked down at me worried, but I had no time to lose thinking about myself, ”MissBreezeyouneedtogohelpMa-mymotherIstartedtosingandalotofstallionsurroundedheryouhavetohurry!” It was unlikely that she managed to understand what I just said because, while I was no Pinkie Pie, I could surely speak really fast while panicking.
The one to react wasn’t the mare I talked to, “Uhh, she sure looks energetic… quite the opposite of what you told me, sis.” I was surprised to hear a male voice that came next to me and I noticed a brown unicorn stallion when I turned my head to look at him. It was most likely the brother that Miss Breeze mentioned earlier. It wasn’t awkward that I didn’t notice him before he spoke at all.
“Well, she was really shy last time.” Once she was done addressing herself to her brother, Miss Breeze crouched near me to talk to me, “What are you telling me, lil’ one?”
She had to talk to me like I was a child… Ignoring my frustration about my treatment, I took a deep breath because of my earlier word barrage and barely managed to share my message while pointing one of my forehoof toward the group of stallions that had formed, ”Help… mommy!”
My statement surprised her, “Wait, she’s the one who caused such a mess?” She shook her head before going on, “I told her to keep off the male side.”
Being so clearly reminded that I was the one who unleashed the stallions on Berry, I looked down at the floor before whimpering while I felt my ears drop down, ”It’s my fault…” I don’t know how strongly my new body affected me, but I could tell that I was much easily influenced by my emotions.
Surprised, Miss Breeze stared at me blankly for a few seconds before managing to speak again, “I would gladly listen to this story, but…” she moved her head to looked at her brother to talk to him, “...we need to save her… and by we, I mean you.” Normally seeing Miss Breeze being pushy with her brother would have brought a smile to my… snout but I was too down because of the current situation.
The brother in question stared back at the pegasus, not too happy about her solution, “Well, you could help too, you know?”
Of course, his sister left him no choice in the matter, “No time to lose, we need a plan, and quick!”
The two siblings looked toward the crowd I created, their ears twitching as we overheard a few lines coming from the stallions that probably killed Mathias considering how embarrassing they were, even if she had been born a filly.
The awkward silence was broken by the brother clearing his throat, “You know what, let me take care of this.” He lost no time to gallop toward the crowd like a knight in shining armor.
I could finally relax now that the cavalry was heading toward my ‘mother’. I slowly stood up, slightly in pain because of the bruises I collected during my barrel roll. I never thought that I would have done one outside of a game. A look at myself also revealed that I had managed to gather quite a lot of dirt during my maneuver so I shook myself like a dog to remove a good portion of it. If things continue to go on like this, I’m not sure that there will be anything left of my dignity before the end of the week...
The mare nearby seemed to be amused by my antics before returning to Berry’s problem, “Well, that reaction was a bit surprising, but…” She simply shrugged it as if it was normal, “Stallions are stallions, am I right?” Hey you are talking to one of those so-called stallions! Not that the pink is very convincing, or the lack of the most important part… I suppose that I no longer count in that category at the moment… But...
After a moment to mourn my masculinity, I noticed that she was gazing intensely at me like I had just reacted strangely before finally deciding to ask me, “Anyway, how did she gathered so much attention?” She whispered something to herself that I wasn’t supposed to catch considering the content, “I wouldn’t think that being in heat is that powerful.” Eh… I hope for Berry mental health that it isn’t case. Viva being a foal and not being affected by hormones yet!
Even if the question wasn’t specifically addressed to me, I decided to answer it. I was directly responsible for her situation after all… “Eh… I might have started... to sing…”
My sudden answer to her question surprised Miss Breeze. Unfortunately she proved to be curious about one subject I couldn’t answer honestly, “Singing what?”
Oh, only a song from Disney. You know, they make movies in the same style as the show My Little Pony. Oh, MLP? It’s only the show that we currently live in. I have the feeling she wouldn’t believe me. I guess the best thing to do is to be as vague as possible, ”Just a little song I slightly adapted by adding Ma- mother’s name…” Ouf, that was a quick safe. She didn’t seem to notice my minor slip.
I risked a look toward my ‘mother’ to see that Miss Breeze’s brother had managed to reach Berry. Thankfully, it seemed that she hadn’t noticed me yet… Still I couldn’t escape the weight of my actions… I felt the weird sensation of my ears dropping along my head. I sighed; I didn’t need my body to reflect how I felt so easily… I mumbled before lowering my head, ”I’m in trouble…”
I soon heard a confirmation to my statement, “From what I see… yeah.” I refocused my gaze on the mare next to me, only to notice she was looking at something on my side. I soon learned what she was looking at, “I know it might be a bit personal, but when was the last time you or your mother preened your wings?”
Preen? Why did that word sounded so familiar to me… Or even better, how could Berry be involved with it?
In my panic, it seem that I had voiced a question out loud, “Well yes. You know, taking care of your wings.” Miss Breeze sounded confused about my ignorance.
How could I have forgotten something that would be so essential to pegasi? I had read about it in so many fics, heck I had several birds… This was major blunder on my part and I had to correct it quickly. How could I salvage the situation? Oh! That’s right, I could probably use Berry previous idea about our family, ”Oh that…” I invoked my saddest memories in my mind to set the proper mood for my plan, ”Daddy used to…”
The mare completed my sentence for me, “Your daddy used to preen you? But where… is…” She looked at my face only to notice my sadness just like I wanted. What I hadn’t planned was to be overwhelmed by the emotion and genuinely start to sob... “Oh my, I’m so sorry… I-I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I sniffed, managing to recover my emotional control little by little. It seems that I’ll need to be careful with my feelings. At least, Miss Breeze came to conclusion I wanted. Killing off my ‘father’ wasn’t such a bad idea after all. A few second later, I finally managed to speak again, ”It’s okay…” My trembling voice actually spoke of the contrary, but the mare watching over me thankfully didn’t say anything about it.
As I finally got my voice back under control, I noticed a disturbance in the group around Berry. I wonder what the help I managed to get had just done. I was in no hurry to see her back so soon, but I knew it was also useless to try to avoid the inevitable, ”I guess we should go see mommy…”
Miss Breeze seemed to be in no hurry to approach the group either, “Maybe we can wait here and see if they come to us.” She gave me a small smile, obviously still feeling guilty that she brought up what she thought to be a delicate subject. Knowing that only made me feel even worse about deceiving such a gentle mare.
Her reluctance to approach the group of stallions was fine with me. Berry seemed to be serious when she said I was under her control and she could force me to do anything. My ‘mother’ could really be scary when she wanted to.
In an attempt to clear my mind and possibly distract Miss Breeze too, I decided to ask her about her reluctance, ”Why? It’s just a big group of grown ups.”
Trying to sound like a foal wasn’t always as easy as I thought. What truly scared me was when I did so and only notice it afterward. It seemed to happen more frequently when I was in close contact with Berry… Hopefully she wasn’t correct in her earlier assumption...
After thinking about it some more, I came to a conclusion. It was very possible that she was in heat too. Actually, now that I think about it, how did she know about Berry’s condition? Maybe ponies can actually smell the hormones? Oh well, it isn’t like I can ask that question out loud considering my perceived age. On the other ha-hoof, I could formulate an appropriated question to know more, ”Do you have the same thing mommy have?”
The question made Miss Breeze feel even more uneasy, “Uhh… yeah, you can say that. Still, we should leave this mess to my brother. He’s the best at dealing with those situations.” That wasn’t very helpful...
The mare didn’t leave me time to inquire further into that delicate subject, “...hey, can you tell me what you and your mother are doing in Manehattan?”
While that was a rather normal question considering the help we will receive from both the mare and her brother, answering the question proved to be anything but easy. At the smallest thought of the beings responsible for our current situation, my body started to shake and my ears fell down again and I could barely pronounce the name of the culprits, ”Changeling…”
The mare was surprised by my reaction to her simple question by giving her my simple answer, “Yeah, I kind of understood that, but… I guess that it was a horrible day, a bit too much to remember?” She patted my head, helping me to snap out of it. I wonder if most ponies are as nice as her.
In my fear-induced shock, I had missed the crowd clearing away from Berry. On the other hoof, I could notice that the two ponies left were still slightly blushing… I guess it is time to face the music after all. ”The evil stallions are gone, I suppose we should go see mommy now…”
“Yeah, that may be a good idea.” With Miss Breeze wise words said, we both started to slowly wal-trot toward our respective family member. On the way, I felt a constant tickling on my side that eventually made me let out another giggle. A quick glance at the side quickly showed the culprits; it was my wings. It is no wonder that Miss Breeze asked me about preening…
Once we finally reached the pair, the mare accompanying me lost no time to talk to her brother, “Would ya look'a that? My brother has a marefriend. That’s sweet.”
The statement simply stunned me, ”Marefriend?!” Did Berry truly lose it? He was only supposed to help her, not seduce her… This day was just getting worse and worse...
Thankfully, the brown stallion clarified the situation in a whisper, “It was only to get rid of those ho- pesky stallions.” He censured his sentence, as I am positive that he meant to say horny...
I let an “Oh!” of understanding. I can’t believe I misinterpreted it that badly… I should have known that Berry wouldn’t have agreed with the idea otherwise.
A glance toward my ‘mother’ unfortunately showed that she had notice my presence and that she was furious about my implication in her misfortune. Any pieces of mirth I had left vanished under her commanding gaze, my guilt only amplified by her tirade, “What did I told you about attention gathering. I HATE attention almost enough to be a phobia… AND YOU… arg, why? Why?”
It was too much for me. My emotions went haywire and I started to sob once again, barely able to apologize before lowering my gaze to the ground, ”I’m sorry…”
Her stare quickly faltered in front of my distress, “You’d better be. Don’t think you’ll get out of this one with your hooves clean.” I soon felt myself grabbed by a pair of pink hooves and forced into a hug. At first I felt undignified that she would do this to me, especially in public, but I abandoned myself to her warm embrace as she started to nuzzle me. It was oddly soothing.
Between two nuzzle, my mother finally thanked her savior, “Thank you for helping me… uhh… what is your name?” Personally, at the moment the only thing I wanted to do was stay in her warm embrace. Wait! What am I thinking about?! Oh no… She was right… My body must have adopted her as my mother… This means that my only hope is that my mind will counteract the effect long enough for us to get back home. Who am I kidding, I’ll be truly thinking of her as my mother before long if she continues like this.
The brown stallion finally introduced himself, “I’m Chocolate Sprinkles, nice to meet you.” Afterward, he brought up a hoof toward Miss Breeze, ”And you must have met my sister, Sweet Breeze.”
Berry answered for the two of us, “Well yeah, she tried to prevent all of this, buuuut…” she stared at me for a moment, just enough to let some guilt resurface, “...you know what happened.”
I was still feeling miserable for making her the center of attention of all the stallions in area. I barely managed to whimper, ”I didn’t mean to…”
The mare looked back at me, this time more comforting, “I know, still… I warned you.” Seeing that I was finally feeling better, she let me go. Wait, how did she grab me and stay still at the same time? You know what? I won’t question it. Pink earth ponies and making sense... I think that she even ruffled my feathers even more. In any case, she sighed once I moved away to keep a safe distance from her and asked our new friends a rather important question, “Now, the question is ‘where we should sleep’?”
Mr. Chocolate decided to answer her, “Well, the motels here are kind of overpriced and… we have a guest room at the shop,” he looked at Berry’s cutie mark before adding, “and maybe you could work for us in exchange.”
The pink mare in question seemed to be uneasy about something, “What… kind of job?” Oh, come on! I explained you what cutie marks meant, you should have been able to think about it when he looked at your flank… Oh course, I didn’t voice that out. I had already caused enough troubles for a day.
The brown stallion was exactly what I expected, “Well, your cutie mark is a cake, so you must be a good pastry chef.”
“Uhh… yeah! Totally! I’m really good at this.” Berry answer was followed by an awkward laugh. I do not want to know what she had thought about… Her hormones must have had a part in it if her blush was of any indication.
With that decided, our small group seemed to be ready to move out so I decided to ask my ‘mother’ a ride again because I didn’t want to feel the tickling until we reached the shop where we were going to and I was tired anyway. Who am I kidding, I want a ride because I am too lazy and Berry’s back is really comfortable.
I poked her nearest leg to get her attention. I quickly found myself face to face to big interrogating blue eyes, “What is it?”
I felt increasingly uneasy under her gaze, especially considering what I wanted to ask her, “Could you… give me another... ride?”
Her eyes suddenly widened, like she just noticed something. It was weird to see a cartoon effect from so close. As she finally broke out of her stupor she began to address me, “Wow, I don’t know what happened…” Oh, she hadn’t yet noticed how dirty I was. She proceeded to grab me from under with her right hoof again. Being constantly pony handled was really humiliating, but it comes with being a foal I guess. Her next words did help to brighten my mood though, “...but you can relax now. I’m no longer mad.” I learned my lesson. Do not attract stallion’s attention when there is a mare in heat nearby.
”I had a braking problem…” My explication confused the two real ponies of our group, but they didn’t question it, most likely placing it on the fact that I am only a filly in their eyes.
Berry most likely didn’t notice their reaction, “Heh, I can see that.” Once done with me, the pink mare turned her head toward the only stallion of the group, “So, we’re going to your house?”
The chocolate colored stallion blushed as my ‘mother’ asked her question. Ok… Now I want to know what happened over there. The concerned stallion got his blush under control before finally answering her, “Yes, it’s located right over the pastry shop. It’s like working at home.” An awkward silence followed only to be broken by the one who created it in the first place, “Yeah, at least my cutie mark is not in joke-making.”
Both his sister and me giggled at his bad attempt at humor. Mine was as good as his. Miss Breeze decided it was her turn to speak, “Yeah, we would have a bad relationship.” I suddenly became the target of her gaze, to which I reacted by trying to ineffectively hide in Berry’s mane. “Anyway, when we arrive, I’m gonna show you how to preen yourself once your have cleaned up. You’re gonna need it later on in life.” Her earlier guilt about my ‘father’ resurfaced as she mentioned the preening. Bath and preening, I am soooooooo looking forward to that...
As our group finally set up toward the shop, I quickly found myself face to face to my ride. It seem that somepony have gotten quickly used to her neck new found flexibility. Said pony decided to whisper to me, “What’s preening?”
Oh, right. It would be a good thing for her to know about that, so I whispered back, “It’s taking care of my wings… I told her that my father used to do it for me.”
She was surprised when I mentioned my other fictitious parent, “Wait, father? I knew we forgot a back-story. We’ll need to talk about that later.”
Seriously? She was the one who insisted not to work too much on it… I gave her a taste of my mind, ”I wanted to do that, but you said that you’ll improvise…”
She started to blush, obliviously embarrassed that she forgot about it, “Oh…” her cute blush finally faded away when a question materialized in her mind, “... so you made one?”
“I thought you were still going with the dead father, so that’s why I mentioned him trying to act sad.” I remembered my earlier emotional breakdown that my acting caused me. ”It worked a little too well…”
My ‘mother’s’ observation hit too close to home, “Let me guess, you guilt tripped Sweet. That face she made when she mentioned preening was a little overwhelming.”
I lowered my head in shame at being reminded how I manipulated the kind mare, “Yeah…”
As you guys have more than likely and undoubtedly noticed, we have decided to just cancel this story. Our problem is that we just couldn't go anywhere with it, as Buck and I had no idea whatsoever what to do. So, after letting it sit for months we decided that we are going to try again with a new story, a lot more planning, and a lot more editing. When we do finally make this new story, I will post a chapter on here announcing for those of you who still have it favorited that it's up. Well, that's it for now, and as always, see ya' next update!
~Dusk