Friendship is Volatile

The new best pony happened to be a unicorn with spiky two toned blue hair. The only thing conspicuous about her was the light waver in her steps and the fact that she was wearing shades after dark. Since he could only have pancakes and coffee Locks was more than happy to experiment with some booze, which came in the form of an apple cider.

After a few sips and their little group getting through the bulk of their food Locks decided it had been long enough to give the drink a little more attention without worrying too much. Vinyl as he came to know his favorite pony was a godsend compared to the rest of the stuffy females currently around him. After a little small talk things took a turn for the better.

"Someones been hittin drinks there gal. I appreciate the round, but is it just good old liquid courage that brought you here?"

"Come on dude, I had to meet the ballsy thing that felt up Spitfire and got away without a bruise. Word on the streets is she's coming for estrous to wreck your shit."

"The perverts just getting what's coming to him. Serves him right for sexually harassing every mare he comes across."

Locks took a nice long pull of cider and enjoyed the sweet taste with just the barest hint of burn. If he didn't have experience with drinking the stuff would have floored his ass. Even if there wasn't much of a burn he could already feel warmth spreading across his body and the familiar haze of a buzz coming on.

"Spitfire seems to be the only mare that's called my bluffs so far Vinyl. I'm looking forward to seeing if she's got any game or if its just mouth. At least she has the spine to actually play, but then again the world wouldn't be right if it didn't have a few cowards in it."

Ever so slowly Rainbow Dash rose out of her chair with her hooves on the table, a smile devoid of any affection of joy spreading across her muzzle.

"I guess Spitfire will always be the best if she's compared to Rainbow Dash. It's better that way if you think about it. Can't settle for second rate mares."

So maybe the booze was a lot stronger than he originally anticipated, but he could never do with just one so as Dashie's smile slowly grew in viciousness and anger Locks polished off his mug and waved Silver over for another order. As the mare trotted up to his table he delivered his last barb.

"You know what Vinyl? I bet Dashie here can't even hold her liquor since she needs another mare to take care of me."

It had to have been an act of some almighty being that Vinyl would be the one pony who bought him a round and sat at their table. The mare hooted and started drumming her hooves on the table as Rainbow Dash rose into the air.

"He's calling you a little bitch Dashie! You gonna let him get away with that?!"

Drifting across the table Locks got his first look at the reasoning behind that old saying. Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman, and he could see Dashie wearing that same smile on her face while kicking him to death.

"I'd like to order six mugs of ale for me and my friend Silver."

"Fuck that. Bring six mugs of what my buddy Vinyl here ordered and put it on my check."

"Dude! That's not ale we're drinking! That ciders mid grade liquor! There's no way either of you can chug that and walk away!"

"You know what they say back home Vinyl? Go big or go home. You can take your rainbow colored ass home any time Dashie."

He had to give it to Silver with her quick order and the jog away from their table. There was a good chance he was blowing most of the money in his pockets on this little stunt, but it would be worth it playing games with his favorite turd and getting hammered along the way.

"I'll bet you 100 bits I make a loud mouthed ass of you in front of  everyone."

"You must be a second rate mare if that's the best bet you can come up with. How about loser gets to be a slave for a day?"

Just as Locks thought the mare spat on her hoof and presented it to him with a cocky smile on her face, and after spitting in his own hand they sealed the deal. Their table burst into catcalls and arguments as half the girls tried to talk them down and the other half goaded them on. It wasn't long before Silver returned with their mugs balanced easily on her back, but following closely behind was a unicorn floating a small table and two chairs in front of him with a knowing smile on his face. Most of their little circle was trying to settle Dashie down, but that too soon died away with Vinyl's whooping.

"I got 40 bits this stud kicks her flank!"

"I'll take that bet Vinyl! Ain't no pony in town can out drink Rainbow Dash asides me!"

Bets were being taken up by the other mares as well, and while Twilight tried to talk them out of it Rarity also made a wager on Dashie with Pinkie putting her own bits on him. Fluttershy was simply covering her mouth with a scared look on her face but after a few moments she surprised him by putting a few bits on Dashie as well.

Vinyl only agitated the situation by loudly boasting on her bet, followed only by Applejack's rants on her girls ability. By the time he took his seat across from his nemesis there was a small crowd gathered around them. Either Ponyville was an extremely small town without a lot of excitement or ponies in general loved to gamble. Bets were being traded back and forth by the random townsfolk and when their drinks were finally placed in front of them silence fell over the gathering.

Quick Silver rested her front hooves on the table and announced their little game.

"Ma'am and Sir! You both know the game and the rules are simple. First to down their mugs wins! No more than a fourth of any mug may be spilled or you automatically disqualify yourself. This is the first time we've seen a pony and... a sir attempt to chug liquor this strong, so you will not be disqualified if you vomit afterwards! On my count of three you may begin! Are there any questions?"

They both shook their heads and took a mug in hand and hoof. With one extended hoof across the table and a smile across her face Silver started the count, her voice the only sound that could be heard in the area.

The moment three was reached a small explosion of noise filled the air  as ponies began rooting for their bets, Dashie chugging down her first drink both loudly and sloppily with cider coursing down her muzzle and neck while Locks took a small timid sip out of his mug. He was gauging just how much liquid was in each mug before he began, but while he took his sweet time Applejack was yelling encouragement to Dashie and Vinyl was loosing her shit.

"YOU GOT HIM DASHIE! HE'S BUCKING OUT CLASSED FOR DAYS! SHOW HIM HOW PONIES TAKE THEIR LIQUOR AND SEND HIM PACKING!"

"DUDE WHAT THE BUCK?! COME ON! I'VE GOT BUCKING MONEY RIDING ON YOUR ASS! TAKE THAT SHIT DOWN!"

There was about a beer and three quarters of another in each mug, and while his reasoning side begged him not to pound down what appeared to be hard liquor so quickly there was no way he'd let that turd show him up after so much trash talk. Dashie was already starting her second mug when he took a deep calming breath and called upon the sacred memories of his days with a few very skilled drinkers, but just like riding a bicycle it came back in a flash of glory.

Tilting the mug back into full pour he downed the contents of the first in mere seconds and flipped the mug up side down on the table. The second followed just as fast as the first and he had to fight against laughing at the choked noise Dashie made when she realized he finished his second before her. In total silence Locks flipped the second mug over and downed the third without a single drop dribbling down his chin, flipping it over and drumming his fingers impatiently on the table as the poor mare across from him choked down her third.

If Vinyl lost her shit earlier with his slowness Applejack went ballistic.

"THERE AIN'T NO WAY IN TARTARUS YOU DOWNED THAT WITHOUT MAGIC!"

The unicorns around the table slowly shook their heads in shock, and it was Twilight that actually sealed the deal.

"I would have sensed him using some kind of spell to cheat Applejack... Its ridiculous but... He actually drank it all that quickly....."

With a mighty roar of triumph Vinyl whooped along with every pony that put money on him as the losers simply shook their heads in stunned silence. It might have been nice with all the cheering but the moment the two drinkers stood everything swirled in maddening dizziness.

The people Locks learned to drink from had him chugging Vodka in a very similar way a long time ago, and in the exact same manner he felt excessively warm as a good deal of alcohol hit his brain like a sledgehammer. It was by far one of the worst experiences he ever lived through considering he really should have died of alcohol poisoning, but even though the cider tasted pretty damn good he couldn't shake the eerie familiarity of it.

With the blessings of hands he managed to grab the edge of the table and keep from falling over, but Dashie wasn't so lucky as she simply flopped over on her side and panted with her tongue lolling out of her mouth slightly.

"Oh no! My pony fell over!"

He laughed drunkenly as he wobbled over to her and by some miracle managed to pick her under her front legs.

"Who's my adorable little slave turd?!"

Everything was right with the world at that moment. Dashie lost and one way or another he'd think of something suitable to do with her when he wasn't drunk. That thought however marked the end of happiness as Dashie glared up at him before a gut wrenching gurgle sounded from her and the ponies cheeks suddenly puffed out.

"NO DASHIE NO!"

With speed and agility that had no business being in the grasp of a drunken man Locks tucked the mare under his left arm and lunged his way towards the nearest tree where Dashie promptly began purging her over-strained stomach. It was there that he was reminded of a very peculiar weakness that followed him like the plague where ever he went. On his own he could hold on to his liquor without too much trouble, and even the last time he chugged hard alcohol he managed to keep from vomiting. Low and behold though the sight of the pegasus under his arm splattering the poor tree with mixed chunks and fluid along with the smell caused him to lean against the tree with his right hand and purge right along side her.

He was a sympathy puker. Whenever he witnessed someone else vomiting he had the unmistakable urge to do so himself, and while he could usually save himself by fleeing there was no way he could hold it in with Dashie defiling the tree under his arm and the wave of smells, sounds, and sights bombarding his extremely full stomach. Another round of cheers sounded from the suddenly hated ponies behind them as they emptied their guts, and when both heaved out what they could Locks felt wonderfully drunk and content.

"IT'S TIME TO CELEBRATE CHAMP!"

Vinyl was using her horn to prod him away from the tree towards a nearby house, and while he still carried Dashie under one arm he could only smile joyfully seeing a few other ponies he didn't know trotting along with them. The last thing Locks remembered was standing with jelly legs at a table with Dashie swaying back and forth across from him, cheering in the background, and a shot glass placed in front of them.

"We... We need to go... home."

"Shut the fuck up slave and take the shot!"