Chapters Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
The hunter
Skri'jal-mevix was perched on one of his favorite trees in the woods of suicide. He was a devil of average build and height. A muscular yet lanky being with a hunch when upright and red scales adorning most of it's body, having a height of six feet six inches with two dark gray horns sweeping from the back of his head to the tip of his snout and a black patch of short, scraggly hair running down his back to just past his shoulders. A ridge of short back spines picked up from where his mane ended, stopping here his tail began. He was attentive to both edges of the realm of violence. He waited with patience unknown to his kind. any form of movement on the cliff to heresy, he would detect. Anything rising from fraud, he would spot. Naturally demon types would filter out by there racial home circle and rarely left. Devils hailed from violence. His well tuned hearing picked up some of the blasphemous gibberish of a heretic on the descent into violence. Turning to see his quarry, he spotted a red robed heretic. "A heretical priest, annoying fools." he said to himself while notching an arrow in his bow. he honed in on his annoying target, and let loose. The arrow struck his prey's jugular, making him fall the rest of the way down. Skri'jal smiled as the body was impaled head first on a pointy rock on the blood river's shores. The flapping of wings caught his attention next. He turned to fraud and spotted a pest. Grumbling to himself, he returned to his silent vigil. As the bothersome beast approached his perch, he spotted the message slab it was carrying. Skri'jal had a bemused look as the pest gave him the obsidian tablet. He began to read the message.
"Skri'jal-mevix, it is with great disinterest that I, as chairman of the counsel of the nine circles, bestow to you a one year transfer to the second circle. Before you leave, make sure you have every thing you need for the year, If you don't have something, you can buy it in heresy on your way up as I have generously provided you with twenty pieces of silver. and before you ask, someone up there asked for you by name and filled out the proper paperwork, so shut your mouth.
The whore
Lerisha stood at the edge of lust. She was of average height for a succubus, being six feet two inches. Her hair was blond and flowed down to her shoulders with a pair of light grayish-tan horns flowing along with it. Her complexion was youthful and pale with a hint of a light tan that one who gets out a lot would have. She had requested a specific devil's presence in lust to settle a little bet. Her friends said he was twelve feet tall and could shoot fire out his eyes and lightning out his ass. She believed this to be a minor exaggeration, and he was only ten feet tall and could breath fire. She realized that since anger wasn't a very social circle, details tend to get lost in there. But still, she could get all her friends pay for the month. Plus, She convinced her boss to let him stay with her for the year of his stay. Her mind was flooded with erotic thoughts about the two of them. She was getting wet just thinking about it. Little did she realize just how wrong she was. She walked away from the descent into gluttony. She always hated that circle, so filthy and disgusting. She couldn't wait for her new fuck-buddy to arrive. She hoped with all her soul (or lack there of) that he at least wasn't like other devils if both parties were wrong. She began the long trip from the the descent into gluttony to her lair on the ascent into limbo. The end result of her bet would be an angry, (by devil standards) misogynistic, hunt-master. "Oh this is going to be a fun year!" She said as she arrived at her lair. Her first priority was making a good first impression. Lerisha went to her wardrobe and began to look though her collection of revealing nightwear, skimpy undergarments, and sleazy clothing. Picking out a skimpy bra and thong, she found a translucent pink nightgown to wear over them. After bathing and changing into the slutty attire, she began to comb her hair and polish her horns. Now she was ready to make a first impression that was sure to last. Making her way to the location her new 'friend-with-benefits' was going to be officially welcomed at, she was turning heads all the way. She arrived and met her friends. They all complemented her sultry look. even the arch-demon of lust was impressed with her new look. Since her friend had to report to the arch-demon for his temporary change of station, every one gathered to greet the one so many rumors spoke of. every one expected an untrained savage beast to climb up from the ascent into lust, instead, a grappling hook preceded a rather average looking devil. after retrieving his hook, he pounded his hand over his heart and saluted his superior. This was a definite killjoy for Lerisha, and nobody won the bet.
Author's Note
the cliffs at both ends of each circle go by two names depending on which direction one is going. if it's up, it's the ascent into [circle] and down is the descent into [circle].
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 1: Patience is not the same as wisdom.
"Skri'jal-mevix, reporting for duty. Ma'am." Skri'jal said keeping the stiff-spined demeanor he picked up during one of his few excursions to the surface. Despite being surrounded by scantly clad women, he was able to keep himself from unleashing an infinite barrage of sexist remarks about there choice of dress (or lack there of). luckily for him, all he needed was information on his accommodations and he'd make it through the year. "So, about my accommodations." Skri'jal asked.
<}==================== One month later in Equestria ===================={<
Celestia had a bad feeling about the vortex in front of her. For one, it was black and purple, and that was never a good sign. Second, if she listened hard enough, she could here screams that would chill the blood of the cruelest of demons. This vortex was evil, obviously. Where it went, why it was facing down, or why it was on her ceiling was anypony's guess. The room was secured by guards mostly on the fact that it's opening made a sound resembling shredding metal, two mashy spike plates grinding against each other, and rusty train wheals and breaks on rusty tracks. Needles to say, every guard in the castle came running. What ever went in came back out after two seconds. The vortex had not produced anything of it's own yet, but that did nothing to calm Celestia. she had notified her student Twilight sparkle of the anomaly an hour after it opened. Twilight arrived with her friends.
}==================== In Hell ===================={>
Skri'jal and Lerisha were trying to kill each other while in free fall. the details of how this happened are blurry to both sides. Lerisha had a large hole in her wing from when Skri'jal cut it when she tackled him off the cliff. as of right now she was trying to claw his face off and he was trying to stab hers, both using one hand to stop the other's attack. The two free falling demons continued their struggle for midair dominance. Skri'jal looked down and his eyes widened. Lerisha's eyes followed his and promptly widened at the sight of a vortex in their path. "OH SHIT!" They screamed simultaneously. They fell though the vortex that Twilight had cast the spell on. both demons hit the ground with a massive slam, cratering the floor beneath them, out cold.
<}==================== In Equestria ===================={<
Twilight sparkle cast the spell on the vortex. Three seconds later two simultaneous "OH SHIT" resonated through, followed by two unidentified creatures at incredible speeds. after the creatures (presumed to be sentient) nearly caved the floor in, Twilight looked at the confirmed unconscious beings. One had scaleless pale-pinkish skin, blond mane of some sort, horns, a blunt spade tail, a pair of wings (one of which was damaged), and little clothing. The other had red scales, horns, a sharp and barbed spade tail, an elongated face, lanky limbs with well defined mussels ending with razor sharp claws that could probably shred through a dragon's scales. The guards confiscating any weapons and restraining the two creatures in case they might be hostile.
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 2: Bitches be trippin' balls.
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 3: Trains deserve their own circle of Hell.
Skri'jal-mevix and Lerisha were released from the infirmary after two minutes. Twilight and her friends were going to stay in Canterlot because Celestia was now going to have a press conference because of the two demons. The following day, the eight ponies and two demons were in the room surrounded by reporters and the like. The reported swarmed the two demons with ridiculous questions.
Skri'jal Responded. Blueblood was a dead motherfucker.Belligerent Engine , it was a ballistic, pissed off, WAAAGHing Skri'jal-mevix. The mane six and the princesses stared in horror as Skri'jal beat Blue blood to within an inch of his life in one very long WAAAGH.
30 minutes later
Pinkie was running her mouth while hopping around Skri'jal while Lerisha was trying and failing to get in his pants. The train Itself was probably among the top ten gayest things in existence he's seen. Rarity was complaining about the viscera in his mane, and Rainbow was bragging about her stunts and stuff. Fluttershy wasn't pissing him off because she was cowering on the other side of the train car. Applejack was pestering him about working on her farm, and Twilight was asking what he ate.
5 minutes later
after arriving in Ponyville, Skri'jal and the girls Began to make there way to Twilight's house.she ..." Skri'jal said jerking his thumb at Lerisha "... is a nymphomaniac. She doesn't care if they're under-age, as long as they have a dick and they're hard. Why do you think I said to keep her on a tight metaphorical leash?" Skri'jal said. Then the rest of the Mane six started defending Twilight for hours.that shameless." Lerisha said.
Author's Note
I was listening to this while righting the train scene:
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 4: Setting up shop.
Applejack had arrived with Skri'jal-mevix and Introduced him to her family.
The next day
Skri'jal awoke the following morning and began his first hunt in Equestria. After an hour of wandering in the forest, he had bagged a manticore, two timberwolves, and a hydra. He made his way back to the barn, not unaware of the dark miasma watching him. He arrived at the barn a few minutes before Applejack.
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 5: Vacations are for chumps! (Part 1)
Three Weeks Later
Skri'jal-Mevix sat in his nice, cozy cellar while he waited for something interesting to happen. At first, he thought this colorful world would be the death of him. However, he decided that this was a nice change from hell, except he had to hunt for his favorite food and prepare it himself. This pissed him off, but he was flexible. Plus, working on the farm gave him some time to think about things, like how he was going to get back home. Sure, Lerisha didn't want to leave, but Skri'jal had an actual job down in hell, and who knows what would happen if an idiot took it. Probably the collapse of any and all structure in that damned circle of hell. Skri'jal smiled as he thought of that happening. However, he didn't exactly want to go back down there, on account of everyone but him being an idiot. Caught between conflicting emotions, Skri'jal decided to just stick with whatever came his way. As he concluded his thought session, Applejack came into the cellar, looking quite happy, which made Skri'jal a little sick inside. In his experience, if they were happy, he was about to suffer. Nonetheless, he managed a weak smile, and pretended to give a shit.
Applejack arrived at Twilight's library about an hour aft Skri'jal started his flashback.
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 5: Vacations are for chumps! (Part 2)
On the train
Skri'jal- Mevix boarded the train in a sour mood. A mood so sour, in fact, it caused the air around him to shimmer with the intense heat of his anger. When he and Lerisha were finally on board, The mane six had taken the remaining empty seats, forcing him to sit with Lerisha. Ultimately, That made him flat- out pissed. by now, the air around him was ready to catch fire, made worse by Lerisha's commentary:
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 5: Vacations are for chumps! (Part 3)
"Skri'jal where are you?" Twilight called looking for the scarred devil.
later
Skri'jal and his friends arrived a the beach house rarity rented for their stay. They entered the building and gawked at the magnificent architecture.
The following morning
Skri'jal awoke before the sun was up and made his way to the bathroom. He began studying a few old texts he picked up at Twilight's place before they left. One that particularly had his interest was based around Pyromancy. Being a devil, he was always interested in new ways to make the kill. He couldn't use magic, but he could try to learn. After all, several people down in hell used learned to use magic without being born with it. He began to meditate and after a few minutes, he felt something. He tried as hard as he could to mentally pull on the string of mana. After a few more minutes he snapped the tube of mana and absorbed as much as he could. once he gathered enough of the powerful energy, he began to channel it into his hand while imagining fire. He felt the heat in his hand. Skri'jal opened his eyes and flame in the palm of his hand. A wolfish grin crossed Skri'jal's features. Imagining the fire was a war hammer, The flame responded perfectly. extinguishing the hammer he decided to call Pyromaul, he looked up the stairs to see the others standing there, gawking as he made fire dance to his tune like a marionette.
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 5: Vacations are for chumps! (Part 4)
After the group got a bit to eat (and Lerisha flirted with the waiter), the group went to the beach and played or sunbathed. Skri'jal-mevix placed a towel out, curled up on it and began to nap. Lerisha walked over to a nice sunny spot and rolled out her towel a few feet away. Skri'jal opened one eye.could have a little fun when we get back." Lerisha said as they walked To the beach house.
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 5: Vacations are for chumps! (Part 5)
Skri'jal awoke with a start for no reason, but he suspected those fucking annoying ponies had something to do with it. looking outside, he saw them trying to move the luggage, but they were failing miserably. So Skri'jal walked over, dragged it all back to the train, and got on a seat. For all intents and purposes, he was just glad the trip was over. Then, Lerisha sat next to him, obviously.this time?" He asked slowly. Lerisha laughed sweetly, putting her arm jokingly around Skri'jal, who looked at it with ever-so-slight disgust.children here!!!" Indeed, everyone in the car was now looking at them, expressions ranging from horrified to slightly turned on.
later
Skri'jal smiled as he entered the cellar. The past two weeks had only given him more reasons to hate/fear the beach. But, now he was back in the cellar, the one place Lerisha couldn't rape him. "Home, sweet home." Skri'jal said. He then tossed his bag in a corner. After he finished unpacking, Applejack walked in. "You want something?" Skri'jal asked.
Author's Note
Wow, that was an odd chapter. But, let's face it, you loved it. And, for those who want to contribute to this porn-tastic masterpiece, I'm looking for cover art for this story, since I can't draw worth crap. Like any good challenge, you draw, put a link to your porn, er, masterpiece, in the comments, and the winner gets their picture posted up as the cover art! Good luck, peeps.
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 6: leave the hunting to the professionals.
Lerisha Knocked on Skri'jal's door at three in the morning. Skri'jal groaned as she knocked again. He threw on a clean uniform and unbarred the door. He opened the door and saw Lerisha standing there.Astra model 900 from his pocket.
Two minutes later
Lerisha and Skri'jal arrived at the edge of the Everfree forest. Skri'jal notched an arrow in his bow without drawing it fully.ran , screaming, and the rotting behemoth chased her, picking up trees and throwing them at the fleeing succubus. Finally, Lerisha ran smack dab into Skri'jal as he was about to cleanly bag his tenth manticore, which ran off after the arrow missed.this time, Lerisha? A rabbit?" He asked angrily. Lerisha just kept stuttering about a demon and it smelling terrible, then an ear-splitting roar sounded from the trees, and the demon crashed through again.is that?" Asked Lerisha.
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 8: Lerisha saves the day!
Lerisha woke in the library the next day, her hammer propped on a nightstand beside her. Skri'jal was gone hunting, leaving her alone today. She didn't like how Skri'jal pushed her away all the time, but she guessed that that was their dynamic now; She made her advances, and Skri'jal pushed her away. Lerisha sighed, then got up, sitting upright.is this demon here..." Said Skri'jal, calming down.
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Skri'jal walked away from the scene with a smile on his face. For once, Lerisha did something besides bitch and whine. Maybe giving her that hammer was the right thing to do. Meanwhile, Celestia and Luna studied the fallen demon, worried expressions on their faces.
The next day
Skri'jal and Lerisha sat at the table in the local diner, and were discussing yesterday.is the connection?" Lerisha said.
an hour later
Skri'jal and his companions entered the throne room and greeted Celestia and Luna.demons ?" Rainbow more said than asked.
five minutes later
The group wandered through the long dark corridor. Celestia had lit her horn so they could see. Finally they entered a grand cavern. On the far wall were prophetic writings, written in a language Skri'jal recognized as Old Norse. Skri'jal began to read out loud:
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 10: Love is a blind drunkard.
The next few weeks proceeded much as they had before, despite the recent revelations. Nothing greatly changed and routines remained much the same. For Skri'jal, this was a good thing. It meant they wouldn't pester him about trivial things. But despite the much appreciated lack of attention, He still had things to do. So he sat in his room in the cellar, contemplating everything that happened so far. Currently, he and Lerisha fell off the map, a miasma started stalking him, he had gone on the bar none worst vacation of his life, he had to save Lerisha from a rotting flesh pile of a demon, Lerisha took down said demon's brother, And they both were tied together in a crazy prophecy. Suddenly he heard someone knocking at his door. He got up with a groan and walked to the cellar door. He opened it and found Lerisha standing there.
The following morning
Skri'jal woke up and began his daily routine of personal hygiene, hunting, and working on the farm. Despite the fact they had been told he was a demon, the mane six didn't seem to have flipped out as badly as he initially predicted when Celestia first told them all about that madman prophecy. Nothing really changed for him and Lerisha, save the six ponies they hung out with now respected/feared them. After what Lerisha did the prior day, he chose to ignore thinking about it. Probably just a convoluted, cockamamie, and all out crazy attempt to get into his pants. But something was different about her kiss, he couldn't place his finger on it. He filed the thought away for later debate. For now, he need only work. His head hit the tree as it would for the rest of the day. After The day's harvest, he inspected his new sword while internally debating what happened with Lerisha yesterday. It was unorthodox. The blade, rather than pointing straight up, pointed outward. The hilt was lodged in the hollow of the blade becoming more of a handle than a hilt. the blade had a semicircular hollow and tapered slightly to a point, the tapering beginning a few centimeters from the hollow. The tapering part of the blade started out the same length as the hilt and was free of any angles or serrations beyond where the two blades became one. The sword's blade was an impressive three and a half feet collectively. it suited his armor well. But this impressive feet of blacksmith did little to help his internal debate, which probably looked like a drunken brawl by now.
Author's Note
Threw you fuckwads in for a loop didn't I? Remember, contest's still on. Post a comment with a link to you're fanart.
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 11: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Skri'jal sat in his cellar, trying to wrap his head around yesterday. This was so vastly unlike Lerisha, he originally thought she had been replaced. But that was not the case, for she acted normal in every other aspect. Except that she now avoided him.
"Ah, nuthin', just wonderin' why you're sittin' down here when everyone's preparin' for Nightmare Night." Replied Applejack.
"That sounds like a bastardization of Halloween..." Said Skri'jal grumpily.
"Hallowhatnow?" Asked Applejack.
"Child, you have much to learn. Come, sit, and I will tell you... Of Hallow's Eve!" Said Skri'jal, a dark tone in his voice. Applejack sat, and the militant devil began his tale:
Later
As Skri'jal walked the streets of the town, he thought to himself about the coming holiday. He despised Halloween, but this bastardization was only bound to be worse. As he walked, he bumped into someone else, and they both fell on their asses.
Later still
Lerisha walked back to the Library, checking over her shoulder occasionally to see if she was being followed. As soon as she got there, she found the thickest book she could find, and started smacking herself with it.
The next morning
Skri'jal awoke with a start, causing Lerisha to groan, then turn over. Both demons were stark naked, and he unfortunately knew why.
Author's Note
They done fucked. 'Nuff said. God, I hated writing this chapter, but hey, When succubi are involved, sex is not just unavoidable, it's required. Just wait 'till Halloween pops up...
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 12: Cyanax, the Father (pt.1)
Skri'jal lay in his bed in the basement at the end of that day, his belly full of the tribute of the townsfolk. For once, being a devil was rewarding.
"Ugh, it's good to be me..." Moaned Skri'jal. Last night was the best. Ever since the rumor of Halloween being the time he became the most powerful and mischievous spread, Ponies were giving him more than candy; he got free food, free booze, and a free recliner last night, and got so stuffed and drunk, he was told he did set fire to a house. However, he was forgiven, for fear he would set the owner of the now-ruined home on fire, too. Yes, last night was a blur, and the worst hangover ever concocted by Satan himself now plagued his head, but it was worth it. For once in his life he felt... free! No one told him what to do anymore, and he finally felt this thing people call happiness. Now, since his relationship with Lerisha, He knows what it means to be normal. Not a devil, nor angel, just... himself. A creature, with no masters or rituals, and with simple wants and means to obtain them. And right now, he wanted a nap. Later that evening, He and Lerisha went to the edge of town, for no real reason.
"It's kinda quiet..." Said Lerisha.
"What? The town? When isn't it?" replied Skri'jal sarcastically. Indeed, ever since the prophecy was told to them, no demons have showed up.
"Maybe the prophecy's bogus..." Wondered Lerisha.
"Maybe. I'm just glad that those last two are back in tartarus. Nice just being quiet for once." Skri'jal said, smiling slightly. Suddenly, a terrible, earth shaking roar, shaking the mountains and the earth, and causing Skri'jal and Lerisha to groan.
"I spoke to soon... again." Lerisha groaned before the two ran off to get their weapons.
Meanwhile, Ponyville
ponies were running left and right as a giant, armored demon, at least ten times bigger than the demon Balith, wrecked the town, his metal armor a harsh light-blue color, and it glowed even harsher in some parts. The demon roared a shrill, demonic, earth-shaking roar, shattering windows and eardrums alike. Then, the demon cast his burning red eyes on six ponies, each with a piece of jewelry.
"Alright, girls, let's send this ugly duckling back to his pond!" Shouted Twilight to the other five. They fired the elements at the colossal, skull-faced demon, but the white beam did nothing but annoy it. The demon then grinned, a hard thing to do when your mouth is practically made of long, sharp fangs, but he managed. Then, he spoke:
""Keh heh heh!!! You little mortals think your little toys can stop the mighty Cyanax!? You will die for your ignorance, pestilent insects!" The demon shouted, and then he materialized a Cyan fireball in his right hand, and cast it at the Mane six, causing them to jump out of the way.
"My sons have been deprived of their birthright, and I'm going to take my anger out on you small, delicious mortals until you cough up the two that wronged my boys. One has my youngest's heart!" roared the demon, the fire surrounding his skull-like head changing from light blue to a harsh, evil green.
"Come on! The one villain we get to fight, and he's immune to the elements of Harmony!? What the heck!?" Cried Rainbow Dash.
"He's pretty big, too... maybe Skri'jal should handle him..." whimpered Fluttershy.
"Don't lose hope! Only those two can stop him, but we can still hurt him! let's get him, girls!" Shouted Twilight. Rainbow Dash, eager to fight the demon, flew hastily toward his knee, breaking through, while Applejack bucked the same leg, causing it to bend the wrong way.
MY LEG!!! It's not supposed to bend that way! I'll destroy you pests!" Cried Cyanax, and he got up, his broken knee and leg regenerating as a cloud of steam came off of it. Then, he raised his clawed foot, and stomped the ground, causing a massive tremor.
"He... regenerated..." Twilight said, shaken by Cyanax's sudden recovery.
"What the heck, he heals, too? This guy's no fair!" Cried Rainbow Dash. Suddenly, Pinky Pie appeared with her party cannon.
"Pinkie, now's not the time for that!" Shouted Twilight.
"For your information, Professor Oak, there is always a time for the power of parties!" Pinkie said, pulling the chord and launching a ball of confetti at Cyanax's eyes.
"What? Who the heck is Professor Oak?" Asked Twilight, confused. Suddenly, the confetti ball hit, and Cyranax grasped his face in pain.
"MY EYES!!!! MY *bleep*ING EYES!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!! I'LL KILL YOU ALL, YOU LITTLE *bleep*!!!!!!!" Cyranax cussed.
"Woah, language, Cyranax! This is a kid's show, remember?" Pinkie said, confusing everyone. Suddenly, a voice sounded behind them:
"Yeah, that stopped when we showed up. So let's get to the best part of every R-rated show, shall we?" Skri'jal said smugly.
"The tits?" Asked Lerisha. "We already covered that. A lot." Skri'jal facepalmed.
"I meant the blood, gore, and excessive violence, genius. Now the joke's ruined..." Skri'jal moaned. "Let's just end this fucker and get this over with." Skri'jal finished, getting his blades out.
"Agreed." Lerisha said, bringing out her hammer.
"You two fuckwads think you can hurt me with those little toothpicks? I'm both insulted and amused! Now die, worthless aberrations!" Cyanax roared, materializing another fireball.
"Alright, fugly..." Skri'jal started, getting into his combat stance.
"Let's dance." Lerisha finished for Skri'jal, getting into her own stance.
Author's Note
Part one of two! Will the two demons ever win against the great, terrible demon Cyanax? Hell yes, they will!
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 12: Cyanax, the Father (pt.2)
Cyanax roared as the two demons got into battle stance, eager to take him down. Then, he hurled a massive fireball at them, causing the two demons to dodge away. Separated, the demons frantically worked to distract Cyanax while they attacked, but he would not fall, for he kept regenerating.
"Gah, Why won't this guy die already?" Lerisha complained, sweating from the unbearable heat the giant demon was radiating.
"I don't know, But this guy's too hot to make direct contact with." Skri'jal said.
"GRAH HA HA!!! You can never win, mortals! Give up, and your deaths will be painless!" Cyanax roared, causing Skri'jal's blood to boil.
"We are not mortal! Stop cheating, you colossal jackass!" Skri'jal yelled, causing Cyanax to burst into laughter.
"Ha! The mighty Cyanax does not cheat! My flames burn with vengeance and conviction! If you cannot handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen!" Cyanax bellowed, then prepared another fireball.
"Ugh, I can't stand this heat! We need some rain, or he's going to burn the whole village by standing next to it!" Lerisha whined, beginning to remove her top.
"Put that top back on, succubus! I have a plan. We just have to get him on his back." Skri'jal told Lerisha.
"How? He keeps blowing off all our attacks!" Lerisha cried.
"You have a hammer, hit him with it or something!" Skri'jal snapped.
"Ugh, do I have to? I don't want to burn to a crisp, you know." Lerisha groaned.
"Succubus, if you don't take the initiative and hit that tango, I'll roast you alive myself!" Skri'jal yelled, his inner drill sergeant taking over.
"Now, hit that hostile, or I will gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck you!" Skri'jal yelled, and tears began to well in Lerisha's eyes.
"Skri'jal... *sniff* ...That was mean..." Lerisha whimpered, her lower lip beginning to tremble.
"Lerisha, not now... Stop crying..." Skri'jal said, facepalming.
"Wow, way to go, Romeo. Way to make a woman cry. Seriously, I'm impressed." Cyanax rumbled.
"Lerisha, stop." Skri'jal said. Lerisha began to whimper.
"Lerisha, I swear to god, if one tear leaves your eye..." Skri'jal threatened, but to no avail.
"Oh, god, Lerisha, don't you fucking dare!" Skri'jal scolded, but it was too late. Instantly, tears, flooded from Lerisha's eyes in a cartoonish fashion, drenching Skri'jal.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Why are you so mean to me?!" Lerisha sobbed, tears flooding the immediate area, and forming a small river towards Cyanax's feet. Suddenly, as the river of tears made contact with the demon, steam billowed up from the contact point, causing Cyanax to reel back and howl in a mixture of shock and pain. Then, he tripped, and fell flat on his ass, causing a small tremor. As this happened, Skri'jal got an Idea.
"Lerisha, Stop crying, or I'll beat you within an inch of your life!" Skri'jal bellowed, Causing Lerisha to start crying even harder. As she did, Skri'jal picked her up like a rifle of sorts, and aimed her waterworks at Cyanax, who screeched and roared in pain as his flames were extinguished, leaving him powerless.
Ack! No! Bleagh! My flames! What have you done!? Cried Cyanax.
"Simple. I put you out. Now to end you once and for all!" Skri'jal explained, setting a still-sobbing Lerisha down next to him. Then, Skri'jal leaped at Cyanax, who flailed and roared in a desperate bid to rid himself of the warlike, misogynistic devil. With a final strike with his weird blade, Cyanax fell to his knees, too weak to fight. Unfortunately, so was Skri'jal.
"Ugh, that took a while..." Skri'jal puffed, popping his back.
"whoof, Lerisha, tag out!" Skri'jal said, but Lerisha huffed and turned away.
"Oh my god, Lerisha..." Skri'jal muttered threateningly.
"You hurt my feelings, Skri'jal! You finish him yourself." Lerisha harrumphed.
"H-Ha! Where's your backup now, pest?" Cyanax taunted.
"Lerisha, you can't be serious." Skri'jal said tiredly.
"I am! I think I need to go home, You just made me cry!" Lerisha explained.
"Ugh, shit..." Skri'jal muttered. Now, he had to do something dramatic, or risk losing her.
"Lerisha, I'm sorry..." Skri'jal began.
"Nope, still hurt." Lerisha replied, sniffling.
"Ugh... Lerisha, stop being so mad. I'll... I'll have sex with you if you stop acting so crazy." Skri'jal said, trying to sound as serious as possible while Cyanax and The Mane Six looked at him like he'd lost his ever-loving mind. Suddenly, Lerisha turned around.
"Crazy sex?" She asked hopefully, her eyes shining.
"Kinky as you want. No whips, though." Skri'jal said, surprised that his half-assed bribe actually worked.
"Oh, Skri-wee!" Lerisha cried, hugging the devil.
"You two are sick in the head!" Cyanax cried.
"We're from hell. Deal with it." Lerisha said, taking her hammer and crushing the giant demon's head with it. Then, she jumped into Skri'jal's arms.
"Now, take me to the park. I'm taking you up on your offer in the kinkiest way possible, and I want an audience." Lerisha commanded.
"Oh, joy..." Skri'jal muttered grumpily as he carried the succubus to the park. Meanwhile, The Mane Six just stared in horror, first at the corpse of Cyanax, then at the two demons who were about to have weird, kinky sex in the park.
"What the..?" Twilight asked to nopony in particular.
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 13: Downtime (Part 1)
Skri'jal woke up naked in the park. After last night he wasn't surprised in the least. He found his clothes and started back to the farm, the harvest season was on it's last week. Lerisha then woke and said:
"Well I do have to work today. The harvest's not over yet." Skri'jal replied. Lerisha got up, walked over and kissed him.
"I guess I'll see you later then." Lerisha said, a little sad Skri'jal had to leave. With that, the two demonic lovers parted ways for the day. Skri'jal just hoped he didn't have too much trouble today. He probably threw out his back during his brawl with Cyanax and a broken backs tend to be a problem with getting out of trouble. The day continued much as normal but Skri'jal knew that that one day of the year he hated the most was fast approaching. So long as he kept his mouth shut about the subject, he could skip his birthday and then there'd be nothing that hyperactive mass of pink, fluffy chaos could do to make it any worse than the eldest of his fourteen sisters. He absolutely hated that bitch. She was the nastiest, fiercest devil south of the Styx, next to him of course. He shook the thought away as he was working. She was still in hell, and the odds of her showing up on his birthday and making him miserable were way to slim for him to worry about. But the One Percent Factor was still present, and with the odds he calculated, If she did show up...
"God help me..." Skri'jal said with a shudder.
Later that day Lerisha came over to his place and knocked on his door. He answered with a half-smile and let her in. He gave her the camping stool while he sat on the equally uncomfortable cot.
"So what brings you here, Lerisha?" Skri'jal asked.
"Oh, nothing really. Since you asked, I was wondering when's your birthday?" Lerisha asked. Skri'jal suddenly started eyeballing some barrels. He then returned his attention to Lerisha and said:
"As long as you promise not to tell Pinkie about it, I'll tell you."
"Why not?" Lerisha said
"Because the last thing a need is a murder charge and a heart attack." Skri'jal retorted.
"Alright, fair enough." Lerisha said.
"It's next Wednesday." Skri'jal said.
"That's my birthday too." Lerisha noted.
"Well, ain't that something." Skri'jal said bemusedly.
"Well, guess we'll have to get each other something special for next week." Lerisha said.
"That's easier said than done." Skri'jal said with a hint of amusement. In all honesty, it wasn't hard to find a gift. The real challenge was getting it without Pinkie Pie figuring out what the occasion was.
"So... Wanna have some fun?" Lerisha said sultrily.
"Only if I'm on top this time." Skri'jal said jokingly.
"Deal." Lerisha said as she began undressing.
The next morning
Skri'jal and Lerisha awoke in the cellar. They kissed and left to find something special for next week. Skri'jal had one particular destination in mind. On his way to Rarity's place of business, Skri'jal stopped by a jewelry store. Apparently the Jeweler was the same person he burned down the house of in a drunken rage on Halloween. After requesting a simple silver necklace with a center piece of amethyst with jet stones placed around it, he continued to his original destination. Meanwhile Lerisha decided to visit the blacksmith and get a pair of scythe-bladed chakrams with bone-like grips for Skri'jal. Said devil was currently arriving at His intended destination, The Carousel Boutique. Under normal circumstances, Skri'jal would avoid this place, but these were not normal circumstances. As he entered a bell over the door rang. Rarity, who was in another room at the moment, looked into the foyer and saw the militaristic devil.
"I'm looking for something for Lerisha. I want to get her something nice." Skri'jal said. Immediately, Rarity understood why.
"Ooh. Trying to impress her now, are we?" Rarity said with a fitting tone. "So, What's the occasion?" Rarity asked.
"No reason. I just thought I'd get her something nice for next Wednesday." Skri'jal said. Suddenly Pinkie burst out from between the cushions of the couch Skri'jal was standing in front of saying:
"Is that her birthday!?!"
"OHSWEETFUCKINGJESUSALMIGHTY!" Skri'jal said looking about ready to have a heart-attack.
"Skri'jal! Language!" Rarity shouted. Skri'jal was taking deep breaths to recover from almost having cardiac arrest.
"Sorry..." Skri'jal wheezed "... It's not like I just almost had a heart attack! " He said.
"Still, that is no reason to use that kind of language." Rarity chided.
"Saying that is like saying I don't want to strangle my eldest sister." Skri'jal said.
"Well this isn't Hell, so please don't use that kind of language." Rarity said.
"Fuck off my case bitch." Skri'jal grumbled. "Back to the point of my visit, Can you make something nice for Lerisha?" Skri'jal asked.
"Well, I would most certainly love the challenge, but I will need her measurements." Rarity said.
"Luckily for you, I have them all in my head." Skri'jal said giving her the measurements so she could work. This was going to be the first time he was actually looking forward to his birthday, even if it was for just Lerisha. Ever since they first met he always had a feeling of connection to her. He now had a reason why. He'd collect the gifts for Lerisha one day prior to their birthday so he could give her them. He was not use to this kind of thing, so he could only hope he was doing it right.
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 13: Downtime (Part 2)
Next Wednesday
while Lerisha was at Skri'jal's place Twilight thought it might be a good idea to try summoning something from hell in her basement.sure this is a good idea?" Spike asked eyeing the strange runes one the floor which seemed demonic.
"Of course Spike. It's not like we're going to accidentally summon the lord of all Hell himself." Twilight said with complete confidence what ever she pulled out of hell could easily be put back. Unfortunately this would not be the case.
"Well I still have a bad feeling to this, Twilight." Spike said.
"Come on. What's the worst the worst that could happen?" Twilight said.
"Alright, If this completely backfires, I'm bolting." Spike said.
"Fair enough." Twilight said Whist rolling her eyes. She promptly began the summoning ritual completely unaware of what was going to happen.
Later
Skri'jal and Lerisha were spending a quiet evening together. The day had been slow mostly. Lerisha absolutely loved her gifts as did Skri'jal. As far as they were concerned, nothing could ruin this, Not even the end of the world. Then some one knocked on the door. Furiously at that. Both demons groaned and Skri'jal went to answer it. He opened the door and found Twilight looking like Pheidippides . Damn that man had a set of legs.
"I *huff* I thi- *huff* I think *huff* I *huff* might ha- *huff* have a *huff* problem." She panted. Skri'jal looked at spike, who was on her back.
"What happened?" Skri'jal asked.
"Twilight was messing around in the basement with summoning spells and stuff, suddenly she conjured ANOTHER devil! We managed to trap it in the basement with a bookshelf, But I don't think that'll hold much longer!" Spike said in blatant panic. Skri'jal did not like where this was going.
"Twilight, If this devil is who I think it is... I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be shittin' metal for a week." Skri'jal threatened.
"Fair *huff* enough." She panted
Later
Skri'jal arrived at Twilight's library with rage in his gut. his feet burned the ground as he passed. Lerisha and Twilight tagged along to see how this went down. From the look in Skri'jal's eye, It would be best to stay out of this brawl. Skri'jal kicked the door in. And saw the bookshelf blocking the basement door. He glare at it as it thumped repetitively to the fervent assault of the devil behind. The drumming door stopped for a moment and the basement's sole occupant began to speak:
"X`iera?! What the fuck are you doing here, specifically, within 500 feet of me ?" Skri'jal asked angrily.
"What? Can't a sister wish her little bro a happy birthday?" X`iera asked sarcastically, cracking her knuckles and grinning maliciously.
"You stay away from me, you incest-loving inbred! I swear to God, Yahweh, Odin, Allah, and The One Ring that I will end you if you take one more step in my general direction!" Skri'jal threatened, getting into a threatening stance.
"Aww, Incest, really? Have you no bounds to your insults? I mean, they're almost always true, but still..." X`iera said mockingly.
"... Is she serious, Skri'jal?" Lerisha asked flatly.
"That's his sister !?" Twilight asked, more shocked that the aggressive, black-scaled devil was female than the fact that it was into incest.
"Don't ask. It's a normal thing back home." Skri'jal explained tiredly.
"Not in my circle..." Lerisha said nauseously.
"Well, now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, lets skip to the traditional birthday punches... One for each year, just like always." X`iera said threateningly, stepping toward Skri'jal.
"Not this time, bitch. I am NOT reliving last year." Skri'jal growled, drawing his sword.
"Weapons, Huh? What's the matter, can't face up to big sister with your bare hands?" X`iera asked threateningly, grinning.
"That a problem, sister dear?" Skri'jal asked menacingly.
"Not on your life, twerp. You using toys is just gonna make this more fun." X`iera said, then she lunged at Skri'jal, catching off-guard and putting him in a headlock.
"Gurk... Yeah, you two, just stand and watch... don't bother getting this psychopath off of me..." Skri'jal gasped, struggling against the much larger devil's grip.
"What am I supposed to do? The lady looks more like a dude; she'll crush me!" Lerisha said.
"I have to agree with Lerisha. This looks like more of a family matter." Twilight said nervously.
"You both suck!" Skri'jal yelled as he wormed his way out of his sister's grasp.
"What's the matter, Small fry, hoping your girlfriend would save you?" X`iera asked.
"Why am I always your target every year, you ape?!" Skri'jal asked quickly, crawling up the wall and clinging to the ceiling like a twisted, armored lizard.
"Because you're the runt, bro! Gotta be tough if you wanna survive!" X`iera explained.
"We're not in hell anymore, and I don't need a repeat of that incident three years ago! Go away, you n'wah!" Skri'jal yelled, gripping the ceiling even tighter.
"What happened three years ago?" Asked Twilight.
"I don't wanna talk about it!" Skri'jal yelled.
"What's the matter, embarrassed? I thought it was hilarious!" X`iera laughed.
"I don't like how that sounded..." Lerisha said.
"It sounds like it sounds! Twilight, unsummon my sister or I'll- Aaagh!" Skri'jal cried as X`iera grabbed him, then pried him off the ceiling.
"You're mine, pipsqueak!" Xiera said triumphantly.
"Now, you gonna fight, or are you gonna quiver, little man?" Xiera asked menacingly.
"Quiver." Skri'jal said, retreating into his armor like a turtle.
"C'mon, Skri'jal! Don't let her bully you around!" Twilight shouted.
"I'm not letting her bully me! I'm just hiding in this impenetrable armor until she goes away!" Skri'jal called from the depths of his armor.
"It's no use, Twilight. He fears his eldest sister more than beaches, swastikas, and clowns combined. Best just to let her tire out, and drag Skri'jal away afterwards." Lerisha said flatly.
"Or you could, you know, HELP?" Skri'jal called from the armor.
"Come on out, little bro! I'm just gonna break your arm!" X`iera taunted.
"No! If you want me, you psycho, you're going to have to pry me out!" Skri'jal said, poking his hand out of his armor to flip his "dear" sister the bird.
"You think I won't, birthday boy?" X`iera laughed. Suddenly Pinkie Pie spontaneously materialized out of nowhere between the two Mevixes.
"Did someone say BIRTHDAY?" Pinkie said as X`iera leaped back out of shock.
"WHAT THE FUCK? " X`iera Shouted as she clung to the ceiling like a big black lizard.
"Why didn't You tell me it your birthday, Skri-bee?" Pinkie said with mock disappointment.
"Frankly, the last thing I need's a murder charge and a heart attack." Skri'jal said.
"Since When was that a concern of yours?" X`iera said, climbing down from the ceiling.
"Since always, silly! I think you two need a proper party, ASAP!" Pinkie exclaims, readying her party cannon.
"Oh, shit..." Skri'jal and X`iera both exclaim.
Author's Note
to be continued? Let me know what you want to see happen next.
Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 13: Downtime (Part 3)
Author's Note
Sorry if this is overdue. You fuckers know how it is. If you're expecting anything else, go fuck yourselves.
Chapter 13: Downtime (Part 3)
Pinkie pulled the cord and a mass of confetti smashed Into X`iera, lodging her in a wall.
"Why you little shit! I'll fucking gut you!" X`iera Shouted through her oaken prison.
"Don't bother. I swear she will just multiply in two if you tear her in half." Skri'jal said from within his armor. He wasn't coming out until his sister was gone or the day was over and she couldn't maul him.
"Sorry. Must still be set to Ultra turbo-crazy confetti ball." Pinkie said. She then began to dig around inside the artillery piece.
"What the hell Is she doing?" She asked. X`iera pulled the cord and a metric fuck ton of confetti, a twister mat, a punch table complete with punch and punch bowl, and Pinkie shot out and took their places in the room.
"All better!" Pinkie said as she landed. And as per usual she began to party despite the confusion caused by her usually unusual behavior. Even Skri'jal had to risk looking to see this. Even Twilight, who knew pinkie for at several years, couldn't help but stare at her antics. Especially, considering an unaffiliated demon stood in the same room at that second. This was beyond crazy. And all because some one said birthday one too many times. Pinkie continued to dance on the twister mat despite the looks she was getting. Skri'jal and X`iera looked at each other, then back to the dancing mare.
"The fuck?" Skri'jal said. Pinkie suddenly perked up.
"Come on! Join the party, guys! It's tons of fun!" She said. Suddenly she disappeared and reappeared under Skri'jal's helmet. "Besides! Your sister came all the way the way from hell just to see you! That's more than I can say for my sisters!" She rambled. Skri'jal knew he had to call bullshit.
"No. She came out here just to break my arm and kill everything she can." He corrected. Pinkie returned to the dance floor
"Suddenly I just want to go back to hell rather than deal with all this." X`iera said realizing how much madness and insanity Skri'jal had to got through on a daily basis for the past two months.
"I just wanted one year where I didn't have to put up with something insane. No terrorist siblings, no rampaging hell beasts, just me and Lerisha. But you just had to show up and ruin the one birthday I had where I was free to be normal." Skri'jal said with baleful contempt not even bothering to look at his sister.
"I didn't exactly ask to be summoned." X`iera retorted with equal hate.
"I never asked for my arm to be broken for the last six thousand, five hundred, forty three years. Guess what? Never got that wish." Skri'jal shot back.
"Well sucks to be you." X`iera said.
"Why are you fighting?" Pinkie said as her mane flattened.
"Because for the last six thousand, five hundred, forty three years I've had my arms broken by my sister." Skri'jal said only hate in his voice.
"Well you are the runt of the litter." X`iera said.
"Just because I'm the runt doesn't mean I need a broken arm every fucking year, you psycho." Skri'jal said bitterly.
"Wow. I haven't seen you this bitter since we first met when you got transferred up to lust." Lerisha said. She went over to the punch table while every one was distracted by the dancing pink pony and was leaning against it with a glass of punch. X`iera laughed at her brother's misfortune.
"Wow The Second Circle?" She laughed. Skri'jal Socked her again, costing her two and a half teeth this time.
"Wrong move, runt." she said as she spit out some blood and teeth. Pinkie restrained the psychotic devil.
"This is supposed to be a happy time! Not a hateful time!" Pinkie said trying to get the two belligerent, mean, and ornery devils to get along. Frankly, if it weren't for her blinding rage at that moment, X`iera would be impressed by the pony's superhuman strength.
"It's kind of hard to enjoy something when your arm is broken every time." Skri'jal said.
"Why do you keep breaking his arms? It's no fun with a broken arm!" Pinkie said
"Why not? I think it's fucking hilarious to see his arm in a sling." X`iera said. Skri'jal chose to keep his response to him self more or less. This brought out Lerisha's hate for devils (Skri'jal being an obvious exception).
"This is why I hate devils." Lerisha said Having been reminded of their mindless cruelty.
"You're not exactly good looking yourself either, bitch." X`iera said. This got a spiteful growl from Skri'jal.
"Since when the hell did you care, twerp?" X`iera said.
"Since you started talking about my girlfriend." Skri'jal said. X`iera burst out laughing.
"HA! What a joke! You're kidding me!" X`iera laughed. Pinkie released her because she was laughing so hard. Skri'jal looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.
"Twilight, unsummon my sister. NOW! Before I have an aneurysm." Skri'jal demanded.
"I don't know how!" Twilight said. Skri'jal facepalmed.
"Unless you used a goat when summoning her, then disrupt the ritual circle." Lerisha said. Spike got the idea and sprinted for the stairs. As soon as he reached the bottom, he flopped on the demonic sigil runes. The impact effectively disrupted them and sent the still laughing X`iera back to hell. Skri'jal walked to the door.
"I'm going to go lay down. Maybe forget about this disaster." He said. His annoyance evident.
"It wasn't that bad, Skri-Wee." Lerisha said. Skri'jal scoffed.
"Easy for you to say. You didn't have to put up with a terroristic sibling." He said.
"Tell you what, I'll let you be on top when we get back to your place." Lerisha said. A feint ding could be heard in Skri'jal's armored pants. Lerisha giggled at the speed of this reaction as they walked back to his place.
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Of hunters and whores. A tale of two demons.
Chapter 7: A weapon, fit for an Archdemon... and given to Lerisha. What a waste.
The two demons sat in Twilight's library as she stared at the strange obsidian heart, completely baffled as to what it was.
