A man in the land of technicolor mini-horses

'What's going on here!?'

'Sir! Systems have gone offline.'

'Alright, Damage report!'

'All vital systems are still intact, but we are still unable two activate the new ones, sir!'

'Good. Initiate startup sequence.'

'Hearing is now online!'

'So are the chemoreceptors!'

'Touch is operational!'

'Okay boys, let their be light!'

...............................................................................................................................................................................

"Wake up," a familiar voice whispered. I already knew that it was Fluttershy. She was lightly nudging me, trying to get me to open my eyes. As I was just about to wake up I heard another voice.

"Take a seat, Fluttershy! I got this," A voice that could only be Pinkie announced. Soon after a felt a hoof slap me accross the face. "Wake up!" She shouted. Fluttershy gasped somewhere in the background, but before she could say anything it happened again. "Wake up!" She repeated.

When I finally recovered from the shock of being pimp slapped, my eyes shot open to see her getting ready for another smack. I quickly put up a hoof and stopped hers from reaching my face. "Damn Pinkie!" I shouted, "Are you insane?" That last question was rhetorical.

"It worked didn't it?" She giggled.

"You really didn't need to do that Pinkie," Fluttershy mumbled.

"Don't worry about it 'shy," I sighed as I got up and brushed myself off. "And Pinkie," I said, glaring at her,"Soon." With that, I decided to take a little time to look around. To my displeasure, I'm still in the fucking tree house. It could be worse. I could be in Barney's rape dungeon (Don't ask) or something like that. I seem to be in a different room, possibly used for storage. Everything went a little foggy after I built my book fort. I hope I didn't do anything that stupid,

"Well, it looks like our little friend is awake," A new voice snarked, I looked over to the doorway to see a pissed purple alicorn standing there.

"It's good to see you too...Who are you again?" I ask.

"Really?" She deadpans. "You come to my house, trash my library, and assault me and Spike, but you don't even remember my name?"

When she puts it like that I feel a little guilty, but not really. I wasn't like with Fluttershy where I could remember everything, so it didn't bother me as much. "Look, Ms. purple pony," I began "I only remember building my book wall, but I'm sorry about anything that I did to you. Are we cool?"

She snorted. "We'll be cool after you apologize to Spi-"

"I've got pancakes!" the dino-fuck called out as he waddled into the room, holding two plates stacked with pancakes. I was about to jump back and find something to throw when I felt something hold me down. I looked down to see my hooves encased in a purple glow. I pulled as hard as I could but my legs wouldn't budge. Out of the corner of m eye I saw pinkie tackle the motherfucker, but that doesn't matter right now.

"What kind of witchcraft is this!?" I shouted. I looked over to the alicorn, saw her horn coated with the same purple glow and put two and two together. "You! How the hell are you doing this!?"

The purple pony prick (try saying that ten times fast) just stared at me. "You're kidding me," she deadpanned "You've never seen anypony do magic before?"

I burned out after she said that. Of course I've never seen a pony do magic before. Hell, the only time I've seen a pony before was at a petting zoo, and the one's I saw didn't have ass tattoos and extra appendages. But, these ponies obviously didn't know that, so I let out a shallow breath and said, "Bitch, I've never seen a pony before today."

She blinked. "You're serious?"

I felt a vein pop out of my forehead. "Do I look like I'm in a joking mood?" I asked.

"But you are a pony."

"Thank you for you words of wisdom," I snarked "I never noticed that before!" I quickly shut myself up. I had enough common sense to know that you are not supposed to piss off anyone that is holding you down. Everyone else is fair game.

"Hey, don't get smart with me!" She shouted.

"But your making it so damn easy!" I blurted out, but once again I remembered the position I was in.

"Are you calling me stupid?" She asked. I didn't respond, but that was still enough to set her off. "I'll have you know that I-"

"Twilight, Night Shade, both of you calm down!" Fluttershy shouted. "There isn't any reason to start arguing like this!"

I cringed at the sound of my name. I have to change that as soon as possible, but at the moment I had to use the scapegoat Fluttershy gave me "She's right," I said calmly, giving Fluttershy a grateful smile. I then turned back to the alicorn. "We both have questions that need answers and we sure as hell won't get any if  we're busy butting heads. So, how about I apologize to your dinosaur and then we set up a temporary truce?"

Twilight, I think that's what Fluttershy called her, seemed to calm down quite a bit "Okay then, truce," she said with a small smile. She released her magic grip on me and held out her hoof. I walked over to her and bumped it with my own. When I got close to her I saw that she was a few inches taller than me.

"Great!" she said. "Now you can apologize to Spike."

"Fine,"I sighed. I really didn't want to, but I was a man of my word. I looked around for him, but he wasn't in the room anymore. Pinkie seems to have disappeared with him. The only thing that showed that they were ever there were two plates covered in syrup."Alright," I began. "Anyone know where the dino and Pink-"

"You rang?" The pink mare asked, appearing right next to me. You would think that this would've surprised me, but it didn't. My mind was already full of so much fuck that a little more couldn't bother me. I didn't seem to phase Twilight in the least, either. Fluttershy on the hand, flew up a few feet before she was tackled to the ground once again.

"Speak of the devil and she shall appear," I muttered under my breath.

"Umm, Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked "Can you get off of me, please?"

Pinkie quickly jumped off of the pegasus. She chuckled nervously,"Sorry 'shy." She then turned to me. "Night Shade!" She shouted. Her next few words were a mess of syllables going at light speed.

At this I raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked

Another spew of F.T.L. speed syllables was her reply.

I face-palmed, or face-hoofed if I wanted to be specific, and looked over at Fluttershy. "Shy, Translation?"

She fumbled around for a few seconds and said, "She was trying to tell you that there's food downstairs. Right, Pinkie?"

The mare in question nodded her approval enthusiastically.

"Well then," I sighed. "We should get down there before it gets cold, shouldn't we?"