"It's beautiful..."

"What is it?"

"It's artwork at its finest."

"It doesn't look like art."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just a molded hunk of metal and fiberglass."

I gasped in horror, making a disgusted face at Twilight. "How... dare you?!" I accused, hugging my black 2008 Saleen S331 Supercab. "It's okay baby, I know you're special. I love you, yes I do!" I whispered to it in a baby voice. The stares I got from the ponies were quite odd, to be sure.

I cleared my throat, scowling at them. Well, the one that was in front of me. Rarity left because she's a cunting bitch, Applejack was at her farm with her family, Pinkie was being annoying somewhere I wasn't, thank God, and Fluttershy had told me she had some chores to take care of. That left only Twilight to piss me off, and Dash to support me when Twilight did piss me off. Which she was doing, right at that very moment in fact.

Dash poked her head out the passenger window, smiling unrealistically widely. "Twilight, are you kidding?! This thing is awesome!"

Twilight's eyes widened at seeing Dash inside of my truck. "Rainbow Dash get out of there! It could be dangerous!"

She scoffed. "As if! Watch this!" she shouted from the cab. She then pressed her hoof on the horn and the song La Cucaracha blared from the truck, nearly deafening both me and Twilight. "How cool is that?!" she squealed.

I laughed, rubbing the side of my beloved truck gently. "Very, Dash. Very..."

Twilight groaned and facehoofed. "And why in Celestia's name did you make it?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "To go to the castle, fuckin-duh. How else was I going to get there?" I asked harshly.

Now it was her turn to raise a brow. "You can fly," she said flatly.

I nodded. "Yeah, so?"

Her brow came up further. "And you can make flying machines."

I nodded again, getting annoyed at her. "Yeah, and?"

She stuttered a few things that sounded like insults and exasperated sigh-groans. But after a few seconds of trying to figure out what she wanted to do she simply shook her head. "I'll meet you at the castle then. Just try not to hurt Rainbow Dash."

I sniggered as she walked off, still shaking her head. Looking back to my truck, I smiled fondly. "Ah, the times I've had with you..."

Dash peeped out of the window again, smiling excitedly. "Really? You've done cool things with this?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. Took a midnight drive down the Lakeshore, took a drunk mid-day drive into a school, took a drunk evening drive down the street and killed a few dozen people, took a drunk morning drive into a high-security military compound and killed everyone, drunkenly ran other vehicles off the road and killed the drivers, drunkenly ran an ambulance off the road and caused a major accident killing dozens and injuring even more..." I sighed, nodding slowly. "Good times... Good times..."

I looked at Dash, who had a mildly horrified look on her face. "So, you up for the drive?" I asked.

She nodded hesitantly. "Uh... s- sure! Heck yeah, let's go!" She then disappeared back into the cab. I assumed she was praying to whatever it was ponies prayed to that she would live through this.

I walked around to my side of the truck and got in. The leather interior felt so nice beneath my ass. I sighed and looked at all the buttons, knobs, and switches. "It's beautiful. It's fucking beautiful."

Dash gave me an odd look. "How come you've never called me beautiful?"

I smirked at her. "Because you're not."

She took on a look of severe offense.

I laughed. "Calm down, I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you're not beautiful because you're hot, with just a Dash of sexy," I said, winking at her.

She snickered. "That's so corny. But I like it."

I started the truck, getting that lovely roar of the engine. "I knew you would, that's why I said it."

She gave me a certain kind of look. "You know what I like, huh?" she asked quietly.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes, I do. Would you like to sit on my sticks?"

She looked confused. "Sticks? Like, more than one?"

I nodded and gestured to the two sticks that controlled the four-wheel drive. "Think you can shift the gears with your hips?" I teased.

A dirty smile came across her face. "No problem."

I chuckled to myself. "Great. Now, since you're using your body to shift those gears..." I said, unzipping my pants and unleashing the beast that rests within, "How about you use your mouth to shift mine?"

She gave me a predatory grin, showing me a lot of teeth. "I bet I can get you off in ten seconds flat."

I raised my eyebrow at her, smiling lopsidedly. "I think you need to be about twenty percent cooler."

"Is that a challenge?" she said threateningly.

I leaned in close to her. "Only if you're mare enough to accept it," I hissed in her face.

She crossed her forelegs and nodded. "Challenge accepted."

I gestured to the sticks, then to myself. "Ready when you are, Lamebo Clash."

She glared at me.

I clacked my teeth at her. This is going to be fun...

***

About seven hours later we pulled into the courtyard of Canterlot castle, knocking down the metal gates and probably injuring about ten guards. We swerved in and out of the set path, destroying probably thousands of dollars worth of landscaping. When I reached the inner gates I went right through them, luckily enough the guards learned to move. Then I ran over more pricey flowers and bricks, and I think I might have hit a pony or two. But sure enough, we reached the spot where a flashy guard was standing next to about fifty other non-flashy guards.

I slammed on the brakes just before I ran them down, letting the rumbling of the engine scare them a bit.

The flashy guard trotted over to the driver side and stood on his hind legs to see inside of the cab. His eyes widened to the point of nearly exploding.

Dash was sitting on my lap with her hooves tightly gripping the steering wheel while I was working the pedals. Her eyes were clamped shut tightly and she was pouring more sweat out of her than a waterfall does water. Her wings were standing so erect that they could snap off at the touch of a feather and gently throbbing up an down every half-second.

I was topless, sweating even more than she was and could barely breathe. I also had multiple bruises on my body from things that transpired during the drive. My neck, head, and a few other areas were pulsing about four times every quarter-second.

But as he looked downward...

My lower stomach was drenched in fluids best unnamed, and the same could be said for Dash, only more. Dash had more of one particular fluid on her lips and a few streaks across her face. The same could be said about me with the other fluid.

"We're-" gasp for breath, "-here!" gasp for breath. "Get-" gasp for breath, "-off!" gasp for breath.

She shook her head, bouncing her hips on mine viciously. "Not-" gasp for breath, "-done-" gasp for breath, "-yet!" gasp for breath.

I think I whimpered. Or maybe it was her, I have no clue. My entire world was nothing but pain and pleasure mixed together sadistically. I could smell blood, I could hear my heartbeat, I could taste the smell in the air, I could see spots and black lines, and I could feel the blood pumping through my body faster than a bullet.

Then I could hear Dash scream in horrible pain as she finished with me, her beaten and bruised body trying its damnedest to take me with it.

I felt my life being ripped out as I lost control. My very soul being torn out by the roots and shredded into a million pieces.

I let a pained smile fall across my lips as I numbly flopped my head to the side to look at the guard staring at us in open-mouthed, wide-eyed shock. Then I heard something thud against the door below where the guard's head was. Maybe about waist level.

Author's Note

Short chapter? Unheard of!
I'm writing the next chapter right now dude, chill your tits.
Oh... Well, write it faster!
I think I'm going to go make a sandwich first, just because you told me to hurry.
Sigh...