"So, what kind of functionality does your clothing provide?" Twilight asked me.

I bit back a snarky comment. "So nobody can see my face when I murder their children," I replied angrily. Yep, better than snarky in so many ways.

Twilight recoiled in shock and nearly fell off of the train seat. Unluckily, her friends were there so save her from falling.

Oh yes, we decided to take a train to Ponyville instead of using those cool flying carts. Why? I have no idea. But at the very least we got an entire car to ourselves. It wasn't very large, but it was cozy. The red little seats were very plush.

I shook my head and looked out the window at the passing landscape. Stupid fucking ponies. Instead of getting me home they decided to send me on a road trip. Stupid, miserable, ugly, putrid, hateful-

The lesbipony was standing up and shouting something at me. For some reason, I couldn't hear her. I could only hear music.

I lifted my hands up and felt a pair of headphones resting over my ears, a song from MSI playing loudly and drowning out the world. I could feel the ghost of a smile touch my lips. I always liked music. It made me feel so good when I was angry...

I felt the headphones being lifted off my head and was welcomed with the dike-y voice of Butch screaming at me.

"-can't just go around saying things like that you idiot! Why do you have to be such a jerk?! Why can't you just get along with everypony else?! Huh?! Is it so hard to be nice?!"

I leveled a .357 Magnum at her head and stared at her through my Ray Bans. "Yes actually, it is hard to be nice to people. Being nice means that I have to try to be social. When I try to talk with people, all everybody does is talk about themselves and their problems. You think I want to listen to that? You think I care? This is what I think about being nice to people." I put the gun under my chin and fired, splattering my brains all over the wall and my friends who were sitting next to me. A second later I came back scowling at the ponies, though they couldn't see it through my head wrap.

I snatched my headphones away from Twilight and put them back on. That's when I noticed the yellow one crying into her hair. "Hey," I called to her. "What's wrong with you?"

She flinched away from me at my question, making a whimpering noise similar to a scared animal.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Are you going to answer or not?! It's rude not to answer a question y'know!"

Butch was in my face again screaming. "Don't you dare yelled at Fluttershy! I'll-" The back of my hand silenced her, making a loud slapping sound in the train car.

She took a step back with her hoof on her reddening cheek. "Y- you..." She fell back on her butt and just stared blankly at me.

I looked back to the yellow one, Fluttershy. I saw that she was staring at me with a furious expression.

"How dare you..." she whispered.

I pointed to myself. "How dare I?"

She rose from her seat and quickly got in my face. "How dare you!" she yelled loudly. Louder than I'd expect her to, actually.

I raised an eyebrow at her.

She pressed her forehead against mine, getting as close to me as possible. "Just because you're big and mean and scary, doesn't mean that you can hit my friends! You may be angry, and can blow up buildings and fight people, but you will. Not. Hurt. My. Friends! Do you understand me?"

"So, I can hurt everybody but your friends? Got it," I said with no small amount of sarcasm in my voice.

She tried to push her head forward but couldn't. Then she did something I have never seen before. She stared in me. Like, in me. I could actually feel her staring inside of my mind and body. I would say she was staring into my soul, but I've long since lost that. "You won't hurt anypony, ever," she said firmly. "Do you understand me?"

As the seconds of our staring contest ticked by, I could feel her stare penetrate deeper and deeper into my being. It was really weird, like if something solid, but still not physical, was slowly stabbing through me.

I put my hand over her eyes, breaking the feeling. "Stop that," I said angrily.

She used her wings to flitter backwards, standing right in front of her friends. They were all wearing shocked expressions. "You... You resisted The Stare... How did you...?"

I looked to my side and saw my friends both rubbing their eyes and shaking their heads. I looked back to her. "The Stare? Honestly, a little yellow pegasus pony with a flowing pink mane and tail speaking with a voice of an angel is cute, not scary."

Everybody looked at me like I lost my mind.

I smacked my lips a few times. "Did I say that out loud? Weird, I never say things like that unless I'm RPing a situation that calls for it." I looked at Fluttershy. "Ignore what I just said. You weren't suppose to hear that."

She blushed heavily and hid behind her mane. I swear, I could see her smiling.

"Oooohh~" Rarity cooed. "It seems that we may have another Discord situation on our hooves."

Butch and Selfie chuckled and... Hmm, I don't seem to have a stupid name for Pinkie. Eh, her name is stupid enough as it is. Well, Pinkie giggled to herself.

I raised a brow and looked at my friends. "Do you know what they're talking about?"

They both just shrugged.

I looked to the ponies. "What the hell is a 'Discord situation'? Is it something that requires me to blow up the Sun, because I can do that. Oh yes... I can do that..." I pictured the Sun shattering, and it was beautiful.

Edward spoke up, shushing the giggles. "Discord was recently rehabilitated, and Fluttershy was the only reason he was. If it wasn't for her, we would probably have had to seal him in stone again."

I scowled. "And what the fuck makes you judge, jury, and executioner?" I growled at her.

She frowned at me heavily. "Discord is the god of chaos and disharmony. If he were to run free, Equestria as we know it would cease to exist!"

I snorted. "Sounds like a decent enough bloke to me."

She groaned. "Of course he would sound good to you! You said yourself you were evil!"

I nodded at her and struck a heroic pose as best I could while sitting. "And I stand up proudly by that fact! If there is ever a problem, call me in to make it worse! And if there's not a problem, call me anyways, I'll make one for you! Then you can call me again in a few days so I can make it worse! Unsatisfaction guaranteed!"

My friends both laughed at this.

"It's true," Serpent told them. "He really does make every situation worse. He's the only person I know that can take a good thing and turn it bad in a matter of seconds without even trying."

They all gave uncertain looks to him.

I patted him on the back. "Thanks for standing up for me buddy."

He nodded at me. "Anytime-" My fist cut him off before he could finished the first letter of my name.

I punched him in the face, stopping his words. Then I punched him again to make sure he would stay quiet. "Don't tell them my name, dumbass!" I hissed at him.

He rubbed his jaw, cracking it back in place. "Geez, you didn't have to hit me!"

I shook my head angrily. "No, I didn't have to hit you. But I did," I said as I leaned back in my seat. I saw all of my equine acquaintances staring at me oddly. "What?!" I shouted.

"What's wrong with yer name?" Selfie asked. You know what, I'm not her anymore, so Hick's her new name.

I scowled at her. "Nothing's wrong with my name! I have a great name. I should, because I picked it myself."

Hick tilted her head at me. "Ya picked it yerself? Don't yer parents name y'all when yer born?"

I felt my hand become a fist of its own accord. "Yes, my stupid, fucking, good-for-nothing, asshole family named me when I was born. I picked a new name years ago though. Okay?!"

She frowned. "Why? Don't ya-"

I didn't even feel myself doing it, but I lunged forward and punched her right in the face, knocking her out of her seat. I stood over her, feeling like fire was dancing on my skin. "MY NAME IS MINE!!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU FUCKING SAY!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"

It was like my body went on autopilot. I walked out of the train car and into the next one, scaring a dozen ponies and kicking one of them out of my way like a football. The next car was the same: Scare a pony, kick a pony, next car. Rinse and repeat. Eventually though, I ran out of cars and ended up looking at a grassy field from the caboose. Only a small railing was stopping me from jumping off the train.

I left the door open, so I could hear the hooves clearly. "Go away!"

The door closed, and I knew they were standing behind me.

"What's wrong with you?!" Edward yelled.

I could fell my fist shaking. "I swear to God, I'll fucking kill you all. I'll burn this planet in nuclear fire and turn it to glass. You'd better leave me the fuck alone!"

I felt a hoof on my back. Ponies aren't that tall... I turned around and saw Fluttershy hovering high enough to be on eye level with me. I scowled. "Is there a reason you don't listen, or are you just deaf?" I growled at her.

She tried to smile at me. "I know you're in a stressful situation, but you can't hit everypony that makes you angry."

I scowled at her. "Why not? It makes me feel better."

She tried even harder to smile. "I know what a scared animal looks like, and I know that all you need is some care and understanding. All you have to do is let us take care of you three until you go back home, and everything will be all right." She was speaking like I was a timid child.

I took a threatening step forward, making her backpedal in the air. "I'm a scared animal? Well, you should know that when you corner a scared animal that it'll fight to its last breath to save itself. And right now, I'm feeling pretty fucking cornered."

I saw Edward start to creep forward, a small glow coming from her horn. "Leave!" I shouted at her.

She glared at me. "I'm not leaving you alone with any of my friends! Especially Fluttershy!"

I summoned up a Mossberg shotgun and leveled it at Fluttershy. "Leave, or I make a hole in her chest the size of a watermelon."

She frantically looked between the two of us.

Fluttershy rested her hoof on the barrel of my gun, never taking her eyes off of mine. "It's okay Twilight. You can go, I'll be fine."

Edward slowly backed away, opening the door and retreating into the car.

Fluttershy slowly floated away from me and slid the door closed. She then came back to hover right in front of me. "Do you still feel cornered?"

I put away the shotgun and sighed. "Not as much, but I still hate everything around me," I said flatly.

She nodded slowly. "Why did you hit Applejack? Do you not like talking about you name?"

I leaned against the rail and crossed my arms over my chest. "No, I don't. And to stop your next few questions, I don't like my family, I don't have any real friends, I don't have any kind of relationship, and I've been living alone like this for the last decade or so."

Her forced smile turned into a frown. "You don't have anypony? No family? A marefriend? No real friends?"

I shook my head. Nope. I-" but then I realized something. I scowled at her and got in her face. "Why the fuck are you asking me these questions?! You don't fucking care! You just got done threatening me!" I grabbed her by the neck and pinned her to the door of the caboose.

She squeaked and started to whimper and cry.

I got close enough to touch foreheads. "I'm not some little fucking lost rabbit you can psychoanalyze," I growled menacingly at her. "I'm a grown man stuck in this cartoony world of talking ponies, and I'm angry. If you try to get in my way of getting home, I'll tear you apart starting from the inside. So don't you ever fucking try to screw with me again, or I'll turn you into a decorative rug at my doorstep."

I let her go and opened the door, kicking her out of the way with the tip of my boot.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I stopped where I was, half-way through the door.

She slowly stood up. "I didn't mean to make things worse for you. I'm sorry..." She sniffled. "I just wanted to help you."

I couldn't believe this. I actually felt bad! I felt bad for doing that to her! I've gotten bored of torturing people to death because I've done it so many times before! And here I was feeling bad for this little pony!

I sighed angrily and picked her up off of the ground, tucking her under my arm like a football.

She squeaked and tried to fight me when I did this, but I was stronger than her.

I scowled at myself for doing this. "Before we get back to the other stupid people, I'm going to apologize." Oh God, kill me now! "I was angry and wasn't thinking." Stop! Please, make the pain stop! "I didn't want to hurt you, but I did anyways." I'm dying! "You're better than your friends, seeing as you're the only one that hasn't made me want to rape them with a baseball bat with nails in it." I feel like I'm being shredded to pieces! "So, I guess that makes you best pony, or, something..." The pain... The never-ending pain... "So, I'm s- ughga... I'm so- awaath... I'm sorr- lialiouu... I'm s- sor- orr- rry- OHGODI'MGONNABESICK!!!"

I threw up in my mouth a little, and at my feet a lot. Luckily, Fluttershy was safe tucked under my arm and wasn't harmed by my stomach-to-air missile.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my free hand and opened the last door, entering the train car with the idiots that make me want to stick their heads in a blender. They were all looking at me oddly. "What?!" I yelled at them.

Hick shook her head. "Y'all threw up just from saying 'sorry'? There's somethin' wrong there..."

My eyes narrowed at Edward, whose horn was glowing a soft purple color. "I'm going to anally rape you with your own horn."

Author's Note

This chapter was brought to you by fingers, computers, internet, and the boiling rage inside of me! Yay! Repressed emotions!