"So... Good morning Fluttershy..." I said lamely as I stared at my bedmate.

She hadn't blinked for over five minutes. She just kept staring at me in shock, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. She hadn't even made a noise to tell me she was breathing.

I moved closer to the edge of the bed. "So, I seem to be doing better thanks to you. So, I guess I'll just head on out. Y'know, rolling stones collect no moss... and such..."

My head was spinning, and not from the massive hangover I had. I was in bed with a pony. Just that simple fact was enough to make me panic.

I'm not into bestiality! What the hell was I thinking?! Oh God, I'm never going to hear the end of this!

"Uh, so, see ya," I said as casually as I could as I got off the bed and looked around for my clothes.

Fluttershy squeaked from the sight of me naked in front of her. Well, not the fact that I was naked so much, but the fact that my boner hadn't found the time to relax. What can I say? I have a very needy body.

I looked down at my erection. "Oh shit, I forgot I was naked. Say, have you seen my clothes?"

Her eyes rolled up in to the back of her head as she fainted from the sight of the "cyclops".

At this point I didn't know what to do. My clothes were missing, my lay was passed out, and I was deep in enemy territory. "Well, time to improvise I guess."

I did the only logical thing I could think of: I turned back into a pony- just for the time being, of course. I didn't want to stay a pony like a priest didn't want to be seen teaching the choir boys how to harmonize.

My host was one I haven't seen before. Somebody named Daring Do. Cool enough name, and kind of a cool outfit. So with my host selected, I quickly tossed the dead squirrel out the window and left Fluttershy's house. But for some reason my wings wouldn't go down.

It was pretty boring walking to town, seeing as most of the animals were too small to eat or just not very tasty looking. But things did liven up when I entered town though. It was an exact repeat of when I got off the train. All the stupid little ponies wouldn't take their eyes off me. The only difference was that a lot of them looked excited, or were whispering to each other. The farther I got in to town, the more attention I was drawing in. It made me angry.

The line was crossed though when one of the normal ponies, a brown one with three blue horseshoes as an asstoo came up to me with a smug little smile. "Hey fine lady," he said in a slimy voice. "I thought you were only in stories and my dreams. But now that you're here, maybe you and me can be in a relationship."

I laughed loudly at the horrible pick-up line. Honestly, I've done better when I was drunk. When I stopped laughing I cleared my throat, bringing the voice of my host to cover up mine. "Listen buddy," Daring said, "if you want to keep your limbs, I suggest you apologize for being dumb and ugly. You have three seconds."

He raised a hoof up and put it on my shoulder. Yeah, bad idea.

Summoning up a machete, I swung it with my right hoof and lopped is leg clean off. As he screamed, I brought it down on his shoulder, burying it deep enough to stick in his body.

I turned away from the screaming pony and continued walking through town. I didn't really have a goal or anything, I was just walking. It was something I did whenever I wanted to think, and right now I needed to think.

Am I... into ponies...? No... No, I couldn't be. I like girls. Human girls. That was one night, and I was drunk. I'm not a yiffer, just an alcoholic.

"Ohmygosh!"

And then I was staring at face. A cyan face, with rainbow hair to be exact.

"Ohmygosh!" Rainbow yelled again. "Daring Do! What are you in town for?! Are you looking for me?! Are we going on another adventure?! Can I bring my friends?! What can I do?! I'll do anything! Anything!"

I blinked. Then I smiled. "Hey Rainbow Dash," I said in Daring's voice. "I was just wondering if you would be willing to test out a new piece of field equipment I got my ha- uh, hooves on. Want to help me out?"

She looked like she had an orgasm she was so happy. "Heck yeah I'll help you!"

I nodded. "Good. Here it is," I said as I handed her a block of C4. "I've already entered the code, so all you have to do is find a crowded room and pressed the green button. But you can't let anyb- er, anypony know, or it won't work. Got it?"

She looked at the thing in her hooves oddly. "What is it?" she asked me.

Think damn it! "Uh, it's a scent emitter," I lied.

She looked at me in question.

"When the timer runs out, the blocks of solidified manure liquefy, and it makes a smell so bad that it knocks everypony out. I haven't tested it out myself because if I do it in my disguise, they might think I was up to no good. So, I'll have you plant it, then we can share a laugh when the smell puts everypony to sleep," I explained. "So, are you up to it," I said, jabbing her in the chest with a hoof. "Or will I have to find a real, uh, mare?"

She saluted me. "You can count on me Daring Do! I'm your mare!"

I gave her a sultry smile. "Do this, and I might just be..." I said suggestively.

A huge blush covered her face as she nodded hesitantly. She then quickly flew off, fast enough to actually create a breeze.

I snorted. "I fucking knew she was a rug muncher," I said in my normal voice.

"Excuse me?!" a voice said angrily.

I turned to see Twilight with Viking and Applejack next to her. I shot my hoof in the air and stood stiffly. "Sieg hail!" I yelled to Viking.

He returned the gesture. "Sieg hail, Fuhrer!" he yelled back.

I scowled at him. "Report!" I yelled angrily.

He stood at attention. "Ze ponies are defenseless, mine Fuhrer! Ve are free to attack venever you see fit!"

I nodded. "Very gud vork, mine friend. Now, all ve need is ze proper equipment, und ve vill claim this land in ze name of ze Nether Reich!"

I looked at Twilight. "Pretend you didn't hear that."

She gave me a nervous look. "But, that was a different accent than last night... Who are you fighting for?"

I scowled. "Can't I be involved in multiple cultures? America is a free fucking country, y'know!" I shouted.

At that moment, a large explosion shook the ground beneath us.

I chuckled darkly. "Looks like Butch got the job done," I said to myself in Daring's voice.

Author's Note

I think I might work on posting shorter chapters from now on. Leave a comment to tell me your opinion. Whether it's good or bad, I care about all of your opinions.