I could have sent her back...

Dear Diary,

I've been going out to fly for at least an hour every night while the big man sleeps. As far as I know, nopony's caught me yet. And that's the problem.

When I fly, I can see the outside world plainly, but I can never interact with it. I can soar to the top of the tallest building, and just stare down at the pedestrians walking the streets, but I can never just fly up to one and say "Hi." I'm still technically a filly, but I can't go to school and make friends. I'm growing up fast, but I can't go to work and meet my co-workers. I can't even sit next to a colt and eat a slice of pizza.

It isn't just friendship that I need. Well, I guess that's a huge part of it, but I feel like I need something more than that. I got my first period a few weeks ago, and ever since then, I've been having these strange thoughts about colts.

One colt in particular I even had a dream about. What's strange is that I'm absolutely sure I've never seen him before in my life, but his image was so vivid, so lifelike. He had a light, greyish blue coat, green eyes, and a spiked-up mane that was as blue as the central river. I remember in the dream, we met up at the same restaurant that the big man took Jenny to on the first night that I snuck out, and then it... escalated from there.

Maybe it has to be him, maybe it doesn't. Actually, I'm pretty sure I just dreamed him. I've seen other ponies on TV, but none of them ever look anything like me, much less like him. They're all brown-coated earth ponies who can only talk in high-pitched whinnies, and their muzzles are all longer than I even thought was possible.

I don't know why I was so surprised, though. The big man keeps me locked up for a reason. Apparently, I'm such a massive freak that nopony in the entire world would ever even think of accepting me.

And so, I'll never find my special somepony, I'll never make any friends, and I'll probably never even get my cutie mark. C'est la vie.

The river looks more and more appealing every day.