Where Am I Going, From Here?
By: The Zealot
Chapter 1: Magical Bullshit and Sunbutt (With Guest Appearance By Moonbutt)

So, jumping through that portal ended with me flying down what I would imagine an LSD trip would look like, I’m not even gonna try and describe that shit. There was one thing worth mentioning though, as I flew there were these open sort of… windows, I suppose.

Looking through them revealed… people. All of them on Skype. One of them stood out to me, a guy with a cat lying across his legs, looking at his computer screen revealed him to be in a Skype call with… Oh shit, that’s Fluffy! As I passed by him he turned his head to face me, his eyes going wide with shock.

“Brooooooooooo.” I said, floating past him and making the devil horns as I went by. The whole time that was happening he just kinda had this ‘Da fauq’ look on his face, it was fucking glorious. As I was almost past the window I saw him throw something that looked like a penny, which hit me in the leg before rebounding back into the window.

Next up was this guy in a Mt. Dew shirt, it was anyone’s guess as to who he was until I noticed the picture of Blue Spark’s OC on his PC monitor, as I passed by he looked away from the game of Borderlands 2 he was playing to look at me, at which point the funny happened.

He looked at me, turned away, looked back, did a fucking spit take, and then fell out of his chair yelling out a plethora of curses. As I went by I couldn't contain my laughter and I’m sure he heard me because the last thing I heard of him was ‘Fuck you.’

I could see the end of the portal coming up, at least I assume that the blank at the end of the tunnel was the exit, but before I went all the way I saw one final window.

Through this final portal I saw a guy laying across two chairs and messing about on a laptop, he was wearing a Minecraft Creeper shirt and based on the way things were going, and the fact that he was playing Dark Souls, I deduced him to be Zed.

As I passed by the window he, like the other two before him, turned to look at me. “HEY KID! WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY!” I shouted from my floating position, instead of any kind of shock he just facepalmed and muttered ‘Oh God not again…” which was the last I heard of any of them before falling through the end of the portal.

[*****]

So, this is what Canterlot looks like, it's nice. I was on the ground, in a rather clean alley way, and as I tried to rectify this I found myself once more upon the ground. I looked down at myself, and saw a pony.

"Ah fuck." was my very eloquent response to this happenstance, before I pushed myself onto all four hooves.

Conveniently enough there was a mirror in this alley way that I was in, and looking into it revealed... my OC, neat. I was a unicorn, my coat was charcoal colored, my mane was a shadow grey with gunmetal stripes in it, it fell down past my face, went up in a chevron, and came down again all the way down my neck. My eyes were the same as they were when I was Human, a dark blue-grey color. Looking down at my 'cutie-mark' just to make sure I actually was my OC revealed what I was expecting, a fountain pen crossing a Bowie Knife over a Human skull, and a book behind it all, making the symbols seem to be an illustration on the cover.

It was then I realized something, my OC was a mare. I looked down between my legs before looking back at the mirror and saying, very simply.

"Whelp, I'm a chick." I also noticed my voice kinda sounded like Elena Siegman, the singer for the Nazi Zombie songs, which was pretty damn cool.

Now, you might think that I would freak out a bit more about the sudden R63 that happened to me, but really, I didn't care that much. My main concern at this point was food, and money. The good thing was, I still had all my stuff, or, at least my coat and I felt the familiar weight of my phone and mp3 player, as well as the bouncing of my knife hanging off of said coat.

"Well, looks like it's time to fuck some shit up." I said, more or less just to get used to my new voice, it really was cool.

I poked my head out of the alley way, looking around for the castle, upon finding it's position in the city I set out.

[*****]

I swear man, those guards were fucking shit, like, really. I had snuck past them, I had, do you know how much of an insult that is? Seriously. It didn't matter to me though, I was outside the throne room, which was for some reason lacking guards. I looked through the keyhole, wondering for a second why a throne room door had a keyhole, before seeing the inside of the room. Inside were, of course, the sisters princess, and the Elements! Oh, cool.

I was feeling a bit, devious, if you will. I had come here to fuck about, obviously, so I decided to make this my first strike. I backed up, turned around, and bucked open the doors. Spinning around as I saw them go flying, (seriously, the fuck?) I shouted as loudly as I could into the room at the shocked ponies and princesses

"DO YOU FAGGOTS EVEN PRAISE THE SUN!" My piece said I ran inside and nabbed the crown off Celestia's head, a good idea? Probably not, worth it? Oh fuck the hell yes.

I magicked (Yes it's a word) the crown onto my own head before speeding out the door, as I rounded the corner I heard Luna shout out 'Guards! Stop that mare!', now, then probably would have been a good time to stop, but I wasn't here to make good decisions, so I kept running.

Author's Note

Why am I doing this? Oh, right, it's fun.