Episode 2:Ornstein and Smough Accidentally the Abyss

Ornstein and Smough Groaned as they regained their bearings, after just recovering from being teleported to Gwyn-knows-where. The dynamic duo looked around in confusion at their odd surroundings as they finally recovered their senses, the air feeling familiar but... distorted. They looked about for an answer to where they where at present time, but alas, not a landmark to be seen was around them, and their terrain was quite green, and flat... ish. All around them, the sun shone brightly, and rolling hills caressed the landscape... but there was no city to be seen, not even a village. Ornstein and Smough looked around, but, to their dismay, could find nothing. But still, the two pondered, and at last, eager to break the silence, Smough spoke.

"Hey, Ornstein... you think it worked? Are we... back in our Equestria?" Smough asked, doubt filling his heart, and Ornstein looked around, hesitating before at last replying, his tone dark and serious, but hopeful.

"It has to be, Smough; my gut tells me it is so, and my Celestia-senses are tingling. That means that either we did something wrong that she knows about, or Celestia is nearby." Ornstein said surely, but as the two looked around, the Smough scratched his helmeted head, and turned to his vigilant sun-bro, questions churning in his head.

"... Are you sure, Ornstein? Maybe, just this once, your Celestia-senses are..." Smough slowly proposed, but he was quickly cut off by Ornstein, who interrupted him with a vengeance.

"Smough, I swear to Gwyn, if you say 'my Celestia-senses are wrong', I will disown you!" Ornstein threatened, and Smough quickly fell silent, and lowered his head.

"I... I'm sorry, my master. I had overstepped my boundaries." Smough replied with much apology in his voice. And with that, Ornstein turned about to continue his search, before answering his friend.

"You are forgiven, minion. Do not anger me again." Ornstein joked, and the two smiled at the minor joke between the two; it was obvious that, in their relationship, neither was the superior.

"Even so..." Interrupted Ornstein suddenly, causing Smough to look back at the knight in surprise. "... My senses are never wrong. This place may be alien, but Celestia is close... but where..." Ornstein muttered, when suddenly, a rustling was heard from the nearby bushes, inciting a defensive reaction by Ornstein and Smough as they turned to face their attacker. Unfortunately... the 'attacker' they faced was... disappointing. And so, stunned, Ornstein finally spoke first, finally not knowing what the hell he was seeing, for the first time since they first arrived in their Equestria.

"Smough... my words have gone and jumped off that cliff o'er yonder. Could you, ehm, explain to me what that is?" Ornstein said, pointing at the small, white unicorn filly that peered at them from the bushes, her eyes wide with a mixture a mild fear and wonder. Smough, however, simply sat there, just as dumbfounded as his friend.

"I... I don't know. It's a filly, but... it's an alicorn." Smough analyzed, and Ornstein immediately snapped his leonine head toward the little filly, causing her to gasp and slightly retreat into the bushes. However, Ornstein simply sat there, and when he made no further moves, the small alicorn exited the bushes again, and stared at the two, eyes wide with curiosity. Finally, Ornstein spoke, breaking the silence once more.

"An... alicorn..? Like... Celestia?" Ornstein asked and Smough nodded quickly, turning toward his solar compatriot.

"Yeah... but, that's just it... alicorns are almost nonexistent in our Equestria... so... that means..." Smough trailed off, and Ornstein, catching his friend's drift, lowered and shook his head, understanding at long last the dire situation that the two now had landed in.

"I see... so the spell failed... we are still not in our Equestria." Ornstein somberly groaned, saddened at the outcome, but not surprised.

"Indeed. So... shall we find this world's Celestia and force her into sending us back to our own Equestria?" Smough said hopefully, but Ornstein still moped, saddened by something, and he soon pointed at the white filly, making the cause of his sadness clear.

"That is impossible, Smough. For Celestia is... right there." Ornstein stated, and Smough looked at the small alicorn filly in shock and surprise, and stood silent, confused at his partner's odd accusation.

"S-she..!? But... she is but a filly! How can that be her!?" Smough asked, but Ornstein merely shook his head sadly, and gripped his pal's shoulder, explaining their situation as it stood.

"Smough, I really, really hate to say it, but... we're fucked." Ornstein bluntly stated, and quickly, the two turned as they heard the sound of tiny hooves approaching them, and they quickly looked down to see the small filly timidly approaching them, and though it seemed quite terrified of the twin warriors of sunshine, she finally spoke, her small voice shaking with fear of the two as they stared down at her.

"U-um... e-excuse me, misters... but... h-how do you know my name?" the young Celestia asked, shaking like a leaf, and the two warriors looked at each other worriedly, and finally used their mental link, and discussed their situation.

"Ornstein, this Celestia is too young to know how to throw us across time! what do we do? What do we say!?" Smough mentally asked his contemplative sunbro. And with much thoughtful posing, Dragonslayer Ornstein replied, his delayed reaction full of thought and foresight.

"Hmmm... It seems that there is no other option. In order to return to our world, we must wait for her to learn how to cast us through time." Ornstein said, and Smough recoiled mentally at the thought, and retorted with a solution of his own.

"But Ornstein-senpai, that could take years of ceaseless waiting! We would surely go hollow by then! Could we not teach this world's Celestia ourselves?" Smough asked, and Ornstein quickly turned to face his solar brother, and hastily replied.

"Baka! We agreed that I was the only one allowed to use the language of the weeaboos! Also, I think you used Senpai in the wrong context. And furthermore, we know nothing of either time travel or magic! How are we to teach this child of an art we know nothing about?" Ornstein snapped at his colossal companion, who then replied again, thoughtfully as ever.

"It cannot be that hard, Sir Ornstein! After all, 99% of magic is focusing as intensely on an outcome as possible, the rest is actual intelligence." Smough mentally noted, and Ornstein rubbed the chin on his helmet in thought, contemplating the advice of his giant friend, and after a moment of hesitation, he replied.

"Ahhhh... Oh, very well. But if this fails, I'm going to kill you." quoth ser Ornstein vengefully.

"Believe in me, O captain of the four knights, it will succeed, for my faith in thee is strong!" Smough at last said, and Ornstein raised his head in pride at the praise. But before either of them could say anything more, the young white alicorn spoke again, interrupting their conversation.

"Hey, are you two listening to me? Why are you just standing there?" Past-Celestia asked, and suddenly snapped back to reality, the two then stared at the tiny filly, both shaking and sweating as they thought their hardest to come up with an answer for the small future world ruler. Thankfully, though, Ornstein's mind was so sly and so slick, he thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick:

"Young Celestia," the gold dragonslayer began, "I am Dragonslayer Ornstein, and this is my best friend Smough. We know your name because... we are from the future!" Ornstein half-truthed, striking a dramatic pose for effect, but he failed to account the young alicorn's age and knowledge this time, and the young Celestia simply tilted her head in confusion, and spoke at last.

"The... future..? What's that?" young Celestia asked, and Smough chuckled as Ornstein's pose faltered, and his mood quickly dropped. So, deciding to take over the situation for his bro, Smough spoke to the young Celestia himself.

"What my friend means to say, little one, is that we aren't from here." Smough explained, and Celestia's face lit up with realization.

"Oh. So... where ARE you from, then?" Celestia asked, and Smough thought on how to answer her, and after a while of thought, he perked up, and answered her as simply as he could.

"From another place, little one, a place you aren't ready to hear about yet." Smough said, rubbing the young Celestia's head gently and causing the filly to giggle at the playful gesture.

"So... you two are from another place..? Then what are you doing here?" Celestia asked, and this time, Ornstein stepped back into the conversation, and explained the complex situation in his own special way.

"We came here to save the fuckin' world, bitch!" Ornstein blurted out, and Smough turned to his solar comanion, scolding him.

"Ornstein!!! There is a child here! Watch your mouth!" Smough chided, but Ornstein merely groaned in annoyance,and waved his hand at Smough in a gesture of dismissal.

"Oh please, it's just a word, Smough, it's not like it means anything to the kid." Ornstein retorted, and Celestia giggled again, drawing the attention of the leonine knight and the deceptively obese executioner.

"Hee hee! Bitch bitch bitch, what a funny word!" Celestia sang, causing Ornstein to chuckle, and Smough to facepalm.

"Wonderful..." Smough groaned through his armored palm, and Ornstein merely elbowed his hammer-wielding friend, urging him to stop being such a stick in the mud.

"Ah, come on, Smough! It's just a word! Besides, Celestia doesn't look offended in the slightest!" Ornstein noted, pointing at the prancing alicorn filly, still chanting the word 'bitch' to her little heart's content. Still, Smough growled irritably at his rather child-minded friend, but ultimately dropped the subject, seeing as, even though children were present, Ornstein's ever-present frat boy aura continued to pervade the very air around the two, affecting all touched by it, just as poor young Celestia here was. And so, with no way to stop his friend's shenanigans, Smough simply sighed in defeat, and could only watch as Ornstein crouched down to the little white filly, and proceeded to continue in the endeavor of corrupting her young, squishy mind.

"Hey, little 'Tia, you wanna help me an' Smough save the world here?" Ornstein suddenly asked the prancing filly, who then stopped prancing and chanting right there, to turn her head and look at the esteemed knight of Gwyn with wide, sparkling eyes, full of wonder and the want to help save the world, as Ornstein promised.

"Save... the world? Like an adventure!?" The young, gullible Celestia asked, her voice full of awe and anticipation. And in response, Ornstein replied to young Celestia with an answer she almost fainted on the spot from hearing.

"That's right! Like we said, Me an' Smough here are from the future, and we're here to teach you and your sister how to rule the whole fuckin' world, to prevent the Abyss from coming and wrecking everything! What say you, kid? You wanna learn how rule the world?" Ornstein asked the ecstatic and over-energized little princess. But before any more could be said, Smough finally dared to question his bro's decisions, and hastily pulled the gilded knight of sunlight away from the bouncing filly, to both of their confusion, and questioned his sibling of sunshine up front, demanding an answer for his sudden and erratic behavior.

"Ornstein, what are you doing? She's just a kid, we already established that she can't help us! Why are you acting like you ate more of those poison joke berries?!" Smough asked, and it is to be noted that poison joke in fact has no adverse effect on the two, except for the dulling of their common sense, and a burst of adrenaline equivalent to over 400 standard cups of coffee, followed by an expected and sudden energy crash. However, Ornstein merely shook his head, grabbed his friend by his shoulders, and began to whisper excitedly to his friend of his plan, and the reason for the sudden, not-at-all caffeine or hollowing-related behavior.

"No, bro, listen! You know that we're in a time when Celestia and Luna are still babies, right?" Ornstein asked finally, piquing Smough's attention ever so slightly, but just enough to cause him pause, and to urge his friend to get to his point.

"Yeah... go on..." Smough finally muttered, his attention caught, if only by a small amount. And with that, Ornstein released his friend's shoulders, and continued to explain his vicious, deceptive, ultimately, bro-tastically dickish plot to his number-one most trusted sunbro in all existence.

"Well, you know how Celestia hates us in the future, right?" Ornstein continued, followed by another bout of interest from Smough, and another quiet reply.

"Yeah..?" Smough asked again, his curiosity and understanding growing exponentially as an idea of the plan's direction was taking form in his head, and with that, Ornstein shifted into full throttle of his explanation, and dropped his plan on Smough with great haste and excitement.

"Well, this is our chance to fix that! Think about it Smough, and think hard! There's a reason stuff happens, right? Last time, it was to save the world. This time, though, our only clue is Baby 'Tia over here, and her little, malleable brain! So, I got to thinking... Maybe... maybe this is OUR timeline, but IN THE PAST, and we have been given the rare and precious chance to mold the world in OUR image!" Ornstein explained, great excitement in his voice as he explained his pernicious plot to his solar comrade, and under normal circumstances, Smough would have been terrified of such a plan. But indeed, the rare opportunity was presented to them, and a world ruled secretly by Ornstein and Smough DID seem appealing to the gargantuan executioner. So, after some hefty thought on the heavy subject of playing god for once, Smough replied in a whisper, accepting the job now laid before the two.

"Okay, I'm in. But we end up somehow ruining all of space and time, I'm telling God on you." Smough finally replied, and Ornstein offered a brofist in response, which Smough gladly took, as a seal to their new-found agreement, which may or may not end in total, irreversible disaster, like actually bringing about the abyss or something like that.

"Fuck yeah! This is gonna be the shit!" Ornstein finally exclaimed, pumping his fist in a gesture of his palpable anticipation, and he finally turned to Celestia the kid, who looked back at him with excited eyes, awaiting his reply. And finally, after collecting himself, Orstein kneeled down, looking the young princess-to-be in the eyes, cleared his throat, and, at last, spoke, asking the little alicorn the question she had been waiting to hear.

"So, little princess... are you ready to learn... how to rule the world?" Ornstein asked the little Celestia, and without a moment of hesitation, the little alicorn leaped into the air, and screamed her reply to the heavens:

"Fuck yeah!" The little filly practically screamed, and Ornstein then got up, and without further delay, the knight patted the filly on the head, ever so proud of her loud response, and he spoke once more, finalizing their contract, and beginning the quest on that spot.

"Very well then, my student! From this day foreward, you will be my pupil in world-ruling and butt-kicking, and together we shall smite the dark, wherever it may rise! Huzzah!" Ornstein cried, and Celestia jumped into the air as well, crying a little battle-cry of her own:

"Yeah! Huzzah!" Tiny Celestia cried as well, and despite Smough's sinking feelings that this was going to end in disaster, the three began to set off to find Luna, eager to begin their quest with the whole party present.

"Now, my young student in the way of Sunlight, let us go forth to find your sister!" Ornstein bellowed, and Celestia laughed as their quest began, and began to trot off ahead, leading the way as the search for the final (they thought) party member began.

"This way! Luna was napping this way when I found you two! Come on!" Celestia announced, and with haste, the three set off, their fake quest, officially, begun.

However...

As Smough and Ornstein left the clearing, the two sunbros failed to account a presence nearby, in the foliage beyond the trees through which they could not see... or, rather, TWO presences, each watching Ornstein and Smough attentively as they left, and soon, after the two warriors of the sun had left the clearing behind, so too did the watchers, trailing behind them, though as to their motives...

That had yet to be seen.

To Be Continued

Author's Note

The premise is clear: Ornstein and Smough are now about to play god, and mold an entire world, nay, an entire UNIVERSE to their respective images, causing untold horror for any with the misfortune to be born in it! But what of the watchers!?

Who are they!?

What do they want?

Well, that's for the next chapter, not this one. Sorry!