MLP: Ponies taste like magic

I stretch my limbs as the stone is broken from my body. I quickly activate my heat seeking vision to make sure no one is around. I know it's not actually a heat vision ability, it's just that that's what it seems like to me. In actuality it's something to do with smelling and sensing but I just call it heat vision. It's the best way to describe what it's like. I do a quick sweep of the area and climb down from my spot.

"Alright. My voice still sounds like a bunch of hisses and growls, I still have my heat seeking ability and I can spit acid." I say out loud. I turn to Discord and grin. "Don't worry, you'll soon taste the chaos." I say, even though I'm sure he can't understand me. I begin to crawl through the gardens.

I quickly make it to the castle's side tower and begin to crawl up. It's times like this I'm glad I can climb on pretty much any surface. While climbing, I decide to listen closely. I can hear lots of music and ponies talking, but the ponies are inside at the other side of the castle.

'No problem. I'll just have to go inside and hang on the ceilings.' I think to myself.

I make it to a window and see a guard in obsidian colored armor facing inside. I don't know what idiot faces away from a window but I'm not going to let this opportunity go to waste.

I crawl up so the window is below me and put my tail in through the window. I activate my heat vision and see my target, the neck. I swiftly and quietly grab his neck with my tail, lift him out the window and stare at him. This guard looks kinda like a vampire. Hell, he's even got bat wings. I notice that he's trying to get free. This amuses me, so I decide to make his death special. I squeeze his neck harder, making his mouth open as well as his neck bleed since my tail is kinda a like a sword, and pour my acid down his mouth. I can see it melting his neck as I drop him to the ground. I watch as he tries to yell or scream but fails since I burned his neck. He hits the ground with a thump and lands in a bush. I chuckle slightly and make my way into the window.

I enter the room and can tell that the party is three floors below me by the sounds their making. I climb on the ceiling and make my way around the castle. Along the way I would see some guards walk through, but since I'm on the ceiling, they don't see me. Even if they did look up, the shadows help me blend in.

I make it to the first floor and activate my heat vision. I can see multiple ponies in there, meaning it'll be easy to cause enough chaos to free Discored. There's two exits, one that leads out to the front of the castle and one that leads through the gardens. I see two oblivious guards guarding the front door and I see that none are guarding the one that leads to the garden.

I quietly make my way to the two guards, I use the door to cling on to as I slowly prepare my attack. I make it right behind the guards and strike. I claw the first ones neck making him gurgke and fall to the ground. The other guard sees this but, before he can react, I decapitate him with my tail.

I grab the spears that the guards were holding and put them through the door handles. Now if the ponies try to run, they'll have to go through the gardens to get out...the garden that Discord is in.

I crawl back on the walls and make my way back outside, hiding the body's in a bush as I do.

I make my way out into the gardens and see a window with a pillar in front of it. I go through that window, since it provides a shadow for me to hide in, and look at the party. Ponies. Lots of anthro ponies dancing, drinking and having fun. It sickens me. How can they just do nothing productive and still be the most dominant? When I was leading my Xenomorphs I made sure everyone had a job. There was no messing about and certainly no fucking party's.

I shake my head and climb up the pillar, making sure no one spots me. Me being spotted would cause chaos but then Bitch and Whore would just trap me in stone and make sure to keep in close sight. Meaning, that unless Discord can act serious, I won't be able to let my plan take effect.

I reach the ceiling and hang upside down from it. From what I can tell, everyone is drinking...cider. I move so I'm directly above a drink of cider and open my mouth. I need to plan this perfectly, I need to make sure no one sees me drop the acid in his drink and I also need to make sure it's enough to kill him. Yes, the drink I'm poisoning is a dudes. I don't think anyone will mind if this fucker dies. He kinda looks like the tenth doctor from doctor who...I always liked Matt Smith better anyway.

I see my moment and drop my acid in to his drink. Two drops should be enough for him to die. Not instantly, he needs to make a scene before dying. The guy takes a nice long drink and puts the drink down on the table. Before he dies I decide to make my way back down the pillar so I'm close to the window.

I make to the window just as the guy starts to keel over in pain. Everyone quickly notices and stops what they're doing. After a few seconds his face starts going pale and he begins to cough up blood. Nobody moves, they're to shocked to do anything. The stallion starts to cough up more blood and is now facedown on the ground. The guards run over and try to help him up, but as they do, he coughs up a nice long stream off blood, forcing the guards to drop him. He breaths heavily and is banging the ground with his hands, trying to stop the pain. The Princesses just stand and watch. But what did you expect? They're not exactly good for anything unless they got the Elements of Fucking you up on. The stallion finely stops hitting the ground and his breaths stop, leaving his now colorless eyes to stare at the ground and his mouth too pour out lots of blood.

Everyone is silent. I use this to sneak out the window and make my way behind Discord's frozen form. After what seems like an eternity, a scream fills the air and everyone starts pushing and shoving...at least that's what it sounds like. After a few seconds, ponies start sprinting past Discord all unorganized, shouting, screaming, pushing...biting? Anyway, it's just utter chaos. Just what Discord needs. It's almost as if I can hear Discord thanking me and grinning as all this chaos happens. I decide to sit back and wait for all the ponies to leave the area. Guards are now looking filing the room the party was In to find out what happened. To bad that even if they did find out what, I will be long gone with Discord by then.

Speaking of the dipshit. I notice his stone prison start to crack. I sit back and silently watch as he is freed again...still in his pink boxers. He cracks his neck and turns around to face me.

"Thank you, my dear. Now, let's escape. Shall we?" He says, holding his hand out. I grab his hand and squeeze it, making him fall on one knee as I crush his hand.

"I have no gender...yet. Until then, you'll either call me boss, or thing. Not DEAR." I say. I use to be a boy, so it just feels wrong to be regarded as a female. Call it man pride, I'd rather be called it or thing then she and her. He nods his head and I let his hand go.

"Alright, de-thing. Hold on to me and we'll be out of here in no time." I grab his shirt.

"Wait...you can understand me?" I ask. He nods.

"Yes. You see, I simply-"

"HALT!" I hear. Me and Discord turn to face the noise, only to see a pissed off looking Luna. I look down at Discord, were both the same height, around seven foot tall, and open my mouth to speak.

"I would say something along the lines of get some fucking jeans on...but I think we should piss off before we have to face a pissed off whore." I suggest. Discord gives me a 'you don't say' face and clicks his fingers.

With that, me and dipshit disappear.