Chapters I stood outside the gates of Canterlot Castle, watching our lieutenant trot about our group. "Ladies and gentlecolt, ponies and man...oh, and whatever you are," he bopped me on my knee, "we have a simple mission, evict the Tatzlwurm in the southern barrens!"
Our squad perked up, "Yes sir! " in perfect unison.
The lieutenant walked around us, "Bolt, Junebug, Jay, you're on containment!" he wandered over to me, "Tempo...why don't you sit this one out."
I slumped forward, "Um...sir...is this because I'm a sat--"
"Not at all! You're young, you're inexperienced, and I just don't think you're ready." the lieutenant stated, stomping his hoof, "And...in all honesty...you're just a bit dainty...."
I felt my eye twitch as I crossed my arms, "Sir...I graduated the guard academy with top marks...if you don't think I can do anything a pony can, anything a human can, well...I think you're underestimating me to say the least!"
The lieutenant let out a defeated sigh, "...Fine...go with Torque and Dire...bring a dart gun...."
I gave a quick salute and headed off. I ran over to a pegasus and a unicorn chatting as they adjusted their armor. The pair of mares spotted me and let out a collective sigh, "...Tempo...hey...."
I rolled my eyes, "Oh don't start, I already said I was sorry!"
The unicorn, Dire, coughed, "You stole my panties...."
I froze mid step, "...I did do that...but I also gave them back!"
Torque stepped up to me, flaring out her wings, "You know, everyone saw that picture of you in her underwear."
I looked down to my hooves, shooting bolt stiff and pointing my finger at her, "I- yes...I know, I was also very drunk...."
"And that's my fault?" Torque asked, glaring at me, "You know...it's one thing to raid the mares' dorms, but it's another to get caught."
I held my hands out, "I said I was sorry! Now can we just get to work?" Just as I finished up talking a man with a crate wandered over to the small area we cordoned off outside the castle. A small bit of road with chariots lining it and a few groups getting ready to clear out the beast.
The man with the crate sauntered over, holding a dull grey rifle with a feather carved into the wooden stock. "Point away from face, shoot worm, got it?" he asked, forcing it into my hands.
I made sure not to send a dart into my ear and took hold of the rifle, "Yes sir, thank you."
The man shook his head, walking off to the other groups as the lieutenant wandered over. He stopped before our little group, "Okay, you three are gonna do the heavy lifting. Tranquilize it, tie it down and notify the group with a flare. Stay calm, stay collected, and try not to die!"
Myself and the two mares jumped to attention, "Yes sir! " We waited until the lieutenant walked away before piling into the chariot, Torque taking up the reins and getting ready.
Dire glared at me from her seat right beside me, "...You know...I used to think you were cute...."
I grumbled as we took off, starting off to the badlands to the south, "Look, I'm really sorry. But there's not much I can do about it now!" I crossed my arms, watching the vast green of Equestria fly past. "...For what it's worth...I'm still really sorry."
"It's not worth much...." Dire stated, turning her head away, snubbing me. The trip went by quietly, even painfully so. Eventually though my prayers were answered and we approached the Tatzlwurm's burrow, setting down a few meters away.
Despite being stuck with two ponies that hated my guts, it would seem everything was going to go as planned.
Torque wandered over, nearly tripping as something cause the ground to shake. "Whoa- tremor...that's not...great."
I lowered my rifle, looking over at the burrow, "Why do you have to say that? First job alone, first time working together, why must you tempt fate?"
Torque threw her head back and marched over to the chariot. "Shut up Tempo...just get read--" she stopped herself as another loud rumble filled the air, "...Get ready...."
I checked my rifle, "I am ready."
The rumbling grew louder, and louder, my companions working to get the bindings ready. They got into position, waiting for the wurm to show itself, for me to shoot it, and for their time to strike. We gathered around the entrance to the burrow from a safe distance. Things grew more and more tense as the rumbling grew more violent and loud.
But the wurm never came, mocking us with its absence. I looked around at my apprehensive friends, "So...is it--" I was cut off as the ground split beneath me, launching me into the air and throwing me apart from my rifle. I let out a horrid scream as I tried to sort myself out midair. "Oooooh, my god! " I yelled, flailing like mad and spotting the wurm under me.
My fellow guards did what they could, but without the powerful sedatives loaded into the rifle it wasn't much. The oversized net we flung into the air, tangling up the wurm for only a moment before it dove back into the ground, shredding the net. Torque was flying after our only hope, the rifle, leaving me to fall to the ground with a heavy thud.
I landed on a slope, rolling down the rough, dry grass and laying flat with my legs splayed out and my hands over my head. My hooves clattered against each other as I writhed on the ground. I let out a long groan as things grew quiet, "Torque...why did you not--"
Before I could squeak out my betrayal I heard a terrible crack from behind me, the wurm jutting forth and looking at me. I turned to the other guards, staring at them as they adopted a set of deer-like expressions. "Guys!? Help!?" I yelped, quickly feeling something slimy wrap around my leg, "Guys, help!"
The duo of mares turned away from me, looking at each other for a moment before bolting over to the chariot and leaving me to get dragged along the ground towards the wurm, "Oh fuck you !" I shouted, clawing at the ground, my cotton gloves staining tan from the dust kicking up as I was pulled along the dry grass.
I felt myself get wrapped up by even more tentacles, spreading out my weight and making my ascent far less painful than being held by a single leg. Before long I was face to face with a gaping wet maw and pissed off set of eyes. The creature let out a terrible shriek, ringing in my ears as I tried to pull free.
It became painfully apparent I wasn't going to get out of this, and the approaching mouth was testament to me being absolutely screwed. The wurm let out a long shriek, hurting my ears. "Aaaaaaah, fuck you too!
I felt the creatures hot breath rush past as another scream filled the air, my own voice pushing back, "Aaaaah Shuuuuut uuuuuup!
The wurm looked stunned, "Eiiii-- "
"Shut up! "
"Eeeeeiiiiiii--
"Fuck you, shut up! "
The wurm's eyes started to grow angry, "Eeeeiii-- "
"Aaaah!
"Eeeei-- "
"No!
"Ee-- "
"Screw you! " I snapped, getting into a groove of shutting down the wurm every time it tried to scream. Eventually, after wurm droll had soaked my grey coat and bright white uniform, turning them both into a sticky mess, I found my way back to the ground, the wurm making a sound like a scolded dog.
I landed ass first, the copious amounts of spittle on my body causing me to stick to the grass. Dried grass and dust sticking to my lower body, sparing my collar up. I rubbed my face, smearing viscous goo across my forehead. "...Damn...."
The wurm slammed down beside me, whimpering softly as it's head laid limply beside me. I glared at the beast, "...You tried to eat me...you're not getting sympathy from me!" The creature moved its eyes to me, staring at me needily, "...Stop it!" The creature blinked hard, letting its eyes sink to the side. "...Damn it...." I got to my hooves and walked over to the wurm, "Stupid thing...."
I kicked the creature, causing it to let out a long groan. It stared at me, rolling to the side and switching eyes, yet another row staring at me. I watched the creature roll around before me, staring at me the whole while. "What's wrong with you!? Is this cause I yelled at you!?" I threw my hands up, "Tatzlwurm, defeated by an angry shou--" I stopped and spotted the reason for the creatures turning. "Oh...yeah, that makes sense."
I walked over to the wurm, running my hand over the creatures scales. Eventually my hand reached the creature's problem, a solid green gem spire jutting from between to scales. I wrapped my hands around it, tugging at it. It was wedged deep, causing the scales to start to split. I adjusted my grip, yanking on the gem until pulling it free with a dry, shoorp , almost like a sword leaving a scabbard. "Dear Celestia!" I exclaimed, fumbling back with the hefty spire.
The wurm let out a sharp shriek, jutting forward and sending me stumbling back. I watched as the creature swung its head around, screaming its head off. It continued to throw its upper half around, spotting me and swinging itself towards me.
I found myself staring into the abyss once again, the creature opening its maw and sending three tentacles out around my legs and waist. "I thought we were--" I was cut off, the spire slipping from my hands as I was dragged back into the wurm's mouth. The creature was practically purring as it dragged me into its mouth, stopping at my waist and closing its jaws.
I grumbled a little, "Oh man- ooooh , this is gross!" But soon enough I found myself held snugly between the Tatzlwurm's three sloppy jaws. I let my arms fall limp as felt reassured I wasn't about to be swallowed. "So...can you understand--" I was cut off as the wurm jerked forward. "Whoa there! " I held onto the wurm's jaws, feeling the creatures saliva soak through my gloves and watching the terrain zoom past as the wurm pushed on towards the north.
I held on tight, utterly speechless as I felt the wind rushing past. "By Luna's spotted ass, slow down! "
But the creature had some plan of its own, pulling my through the wastelands and towards the Canterlot Mountain far in the distance. And as terrifying as it was, moving eighty kilometers per hour while in the jaws of an apparently pleased monstrosity was exhilarating. "Woo, screw music lessons, this is awesome!
All I could think, with my apparently intelligent friend rocketing me towards home, was the impending revenge for my fellow guards abandoning me. They could have done something, but no, they chose to leave me to the potentially murderous wurm. No, they would get theirs, in the form of a pissed off satyr and a slimy Tatzlwurm.
I waited with slight contempt as I waited in the jaws of the wurm. I could hear rubble and dirt crunching just outside, the wurm burrowing into Canterlot. The entire expirence was both disgusting and a bit debauched. I was surrounded by a warm, wet, organic muscle, a few rows of extremely hard, extremly dull teeth kept me in place while the wurm tore onward towards Canterlot.
"...Hey...the music hall!" I yelled, hoping the wurm could truly understand me, "The place with the music!"
The wurm sang a shrill groan as it adjusted me in its mouth. I felt my entire body coat itself in saliva, the thick texture of the slime was horrid, almost compared to the pungent smell of the wurm's stone digesting stomach. It smell like soggy concrete being churned by lye.
But, for all my complaining, I was alive. I was alive, angry, and I had the power of a giant creature that eats rocks and has tentecals. Those two mares that left me to die, who ran without so much of an, I'm sorry, the would learn a bit of discipline at the end of a giant wiggling worm.
And as perverted as it may have been, I was going to enjoy watching.
A shrill groan followed by the sound of a pipe bursting threw me out into the world once again. "Whoa shit! " I yelped, being spat out into the middle of the street, a broken pipe sending a jet of water high into the air. Before I could lift my gaze from the ground a pair of grey hooves stepped up to me.
"...Tempo...why did a Tatzlwurm just spit you out?"
I looked up, feeling the water flying into the air pelting me, "...Hi mom...."
My mother, a famous cellist with a raven mane, stood soaked before me, an annoyed look on her face. "Tempo...what is all this?" she thrust her foreleg out at the wurm as it stood high in the air. "I'll ask slower.... Why, did a wurm, just spit you out in the street?"
Before I could answer my sister walked over, her violin case slung under her arm, "Tempo...answer the question." She looked livid, slowly getting soaked from the busted pipe.
I let out a rough cough, "Uh...this is...Tal...."
The wurm let out a long whine and flailed about in the middle of the street.
"Yeah...I think he's my friend," I stated, rubbing the back of my head and looking up as the pipe turned off. "We were supposed to get rid of him...and now...we're gonna go have some fun."
My mother cocked an eyebrow, "Fun? With a tentacle worm?" She rubbed her face with her hoof, "Tempo...please don't get in trouble."
I scoffed, "What did I do? I can't control a Tatzlwurm! It just came here, of its own accord, and decided to...do some stuff."
Octavia just grumbled, "Tempo...."
"Mom...."
"Tempo."
"Mother?"
"Don't."
I stared at her, "...But I really, really want to."
"Tempo." she glared at me, boring a hole through my right eye, "Are these the girls from the panty thing?"
I froze, "...They left me alone with the wurm...."
My mother just shook her head, "You're going to get kicked out of the guard."
I threw my hands up, turning around and putting my hand on the wurm. "Look...he's dumb, I really can't control him." I patted his scales, "Besides, this big guy couldn't, hurt , a thing!"
My mother let out a sharp huff and walked back onto the sidewalk. "Don't bring it home...we're having guests." She started trotting off, my sister drudging along after her, shooting me daggers as she shook the water off herself.
I laughed a little and looked around the wide street, ponies, humans and satyrs all staring at me and my new friend standing in the street. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, "Everyone stay calm...it's just a wurm--" just as I finished the crowd exploded, sending everyone running. "Crap, go go go go!" I yelled to the wurm, climbing atop it and pointing the way to the castle.
It must have looked insane. A half human, half pony riding atop a giant rock wurm through the streets of the capitol. If not for the princesses getting involved in some rather freaky shit, this would take the award for craziest shit in history.
For now though, I was rocketing towards the castle, everyone clearing the streets and making way for the man on the wurm. I could help but laugh as I spotted the two that abandoned me trying to dismount their chariot, Dire struggling to pull Torque from the harness as the empty stretch of tight fitted cobblestone cleared of all life besides them and us. It would seem they were the only ones to return, the other guards undoubtedly trying to find either me or the wurm.
The duo spotted me as the wurm slithered up to the front gates of the castle, letting me step off before raising it's body up and hovering over me. I sauntered up to the stunned mares, "Ladies...." I strolled over, stopping at the edge of their chariot. "...So...who's gonna be the one who explains why you left me to die with the bucking wurm!? "
Dire nearly fainted, falling against the side of the chariot. "...Tempo...I'm sorry!"
I brought my hand to my chin and snapped my fingers, causing the wurm to come down next to me, "Well...your sorry's not worth much...."
Dire backed to the wall of the chariot as the wurm nipped at the air. "Tempo, please, this isn't funny!"
I rubbed my face, "You know what's really not funny? Thinking you're going to die, thinking you just got left behind by your,friends, thinking you're about to be ground up by a rock wurm!"
Torque looked over to us, her orange mane tangled up in her helmet and armor, "Dude, this isn't okay! You can't just--"
I cut her off, "Dire...come here." I reached out to her. She slowly set her hoof in my hand, letting me yank her over to the side of the chariot I was leaning against. Her dull pink mane swinging into my face and sticking to my cheek.
She peeled her mane away, looked me in the eyes with a worried expression, "Tempo...you smell like--"
"I got here inside a Tatzlwurm.... First thing I'm gonna do when I'm done with this is go take a shower.... But first..." I took a deep breath, "I am sorry I stole your panties, I was drunk, but that doesn't make it right. I'm sorry, and I hope that once this is over we can be friends again. Okay?"
Dire cocked her head, "...You brought a wurm to Canterlot...just to say sorry?"
I started laughing, "Hell no! It's got tentacles, slimy, gross, wiggly tentacles! It's going up someone by the end of the day. But...I did kinda mess with you, so I figured since I'm not dead, I'd apologize and let you off the hook."
Dire stared at me, utterly confused as the wurm turned to Torque, told to get to work by my snapping hand. "So...Tor--"
"Yes."
Dire watched as the screaming pegasus was ripped from the chariot harness and into the wurm's mouth. "And...the wurm--"
"He can understand us, and I'll tell him to leave when it's done." I placed her hoof on the edge of the chariot and gave it a few pats, "Now...you should probably go, and if anyone asks you had no idea about any of this."
Dire looked off to the side, "That's it? You're just- you're letting me go!?"
I tightened up my face, "Hmm...good point...." I reached into the chariot and turned Dire around. "Heeya! " I slapped her flank, causing her to yelp and bolt out of the chariot. She ran down the street, silently sprinting away.
I started chuckling as the wurm coiled up, blocking off a small area and pushing Torque out of its mouth, holding her in its tentacles and pinning her legs to her body. She was heaving, looking around like mad until landing her eyes on me and glaring at me, "You!"
I walked over, "Me? Nah, it was the other guy you left to die." I let out a sharp whistle, causing the wurm to hover Torque's head at eye level with me. "So...you know what happens next, right?"
"Screw you!" she yelped, "You dropped the gun! How were we--"
I ignored her, pulling her helmet off and stepping back, "Huh...you're actually kinda pretty."
"And I- wait, what?!"
"Hhmph... well, Tal, fill'er'up!" I raised my hand and snapped my fingers.
The wurm let out a shrill squeal, two black tentacles jutting from its mouth and sending them towards Torque's rear. She looked worried, "Tempo, wait, you can--"
"Go gentle big guy! Be gentle!" I yelled, smiling at Torque, "Yeah...he's actually pretty smart."
Torque frowned hard, "...So...I--" she clenched up, "Ooooooh no...hold on...wait damn it! " she screamed, wiggling in the wurm's grasp. "Oh dear Luna, it's sticky! "
I tossed Torque's helmet aside. "Hey...you want a hug?" I asked, watching the tentacle press against her. "You look troubled...."
Torque let out a shrill yelp, the muscles in her neck tightening up. A loud sticky squelch rang out from her behind, "Oh dear Celestia...it's so gross, it's so gr ooo ss! "
I walked around behind her, watching as a single tentacle pushed inside her dull blue pussy. Bright pink flesh stretching as the wurm pushed inside her, sending sticky fluids against her backside and inside her body. "That's a tight fit...beautiful." I grumbled, growing a bit constrained in my pants. Torque let out a long shaky moan as the wurm drew back, its dark black tentacle glistening in the sunlight and reeking of musk.
I rubbed my nose, looking up at the tentacle wiggling against her pucker. "Hey...Torque, can you describe--"
"Ohhhh, make it stop wiggling! Make it stop wiggling! " she whimpered, clenching her flanks and trying to deny the wurm its new puckered burrow. Tal decided to advance, slowly pushing the tip of his tentacle into Torque's ass. Her voice caught in her throat as I watched the thick black muscle slip into her ass, wiggling around and causing Torque to groan and wiggling. "It's hot, hot, hot! " she yelped, trying to kick free.
I watched as her plot was splashed with various secretions from both parties. "Um...yes." I watched the tentacles tag team her, the slimy muscles pushing and pulling. The one buried in her ass would pull out just as the other dove straight back into her pussy, causing her squishy flesh push and pull under the abuse. "Yes to all of this...."
Torque was stuck in a continual moan, rocking back and forth as her mouth hung open, "Fu-u-u-uck! "
I enjoyed the husky sound of her voice, the pumping causing her to go more and more ragged as her body started to leak out a white cream, quickly smearing as the tentacles slithered and squirmed inside her. I walked around to Torque's front, meeting her bright red face just as she let out a sharp squeal, sending a bit of liquid to the ground. "Jesus...I'm not sure which show is better."
I rubbed my chin, watching Torque's face glow bright red and contort into a strange expression. One of pain, but one of pleasure, one of rage, and one of need. "Cumming- cum-- "
I raised my hand, snapping once and cutting my hand through the air. The worm jammed forward, skewering the slime coated mare. "Bett--"
"Oh fuck- oh fuck- oh fuck-- " she locked up, never letting that wash of release fall over herself, "Come on- just-- " I cut her off, sticking my fingers into her mouth, "Mphm!? "
"Tal...go really slow, alright?"
Tal complied, sending the mare rocking back and forth. The puddle on the ground only grew as the viscous slime of the wurm's spit and Torque's flowing juices puddled into a rather pungent smelling heap. Torque pressed her tongue against the space between my index and middle fingers, clamping down and groaning loudly.
It was pained, right on the edge but never tipping. The mare before my eyes was going crazy, eyes rolling back in her head, mouth tightening up around my hand, and nose flaring out as she tried to catch her breath. Heavy snorts and snarls filled the air as her body grew tense, angry even.
"Alright, Tal, go ahead!"
Tal let out a quick screech, surging tentacles forth and fucking the mare like mad. Torque reached her point, sucking on my fingers and adopting an extremely determined expression. Seconds later she went bolt stiff, a spray of fluids dripping from her behind. Just as quickly as she tightened up, she went limp as a noodle, eyes unfocusing as she went to a dumb place.
The wurm's pumping sent her into a stupid bliss. She started sucking on my fingers like a filly, lost in space and enjoying her burning afterglow. I drew my fingers back, leaving Torque's mouth in a small pucker.
I walked around behind her, watching the tentacles work her body with unfettered access. The sound of the constant slick pumping was horridly visceral, schloorps and shlocks , cried out over the sound of Torque's breathing. Her soaked backside was soft and squishy under the wurm's grasps, pulsating and bouncing like mad.
"Tal...that's good!" I yelled, causing the tentacles to stop dead. There was a few seconds before the tentacle drew back, a long sloppy shlick filled the air, followed by a quick pop . Torque was left dangling, her body covered in slime and completely exhausted.
"Alright, here boy, give her here!"
The wurm looked at me, letting out a quick chirp and holding Torque higher up.
"What...what did I say? Boy?"
Once again the wurm held her higher.
"Uh...man?"
Higher still.
"...Girl?"
Suddenly I was given the sloppy mare, her sticky body left in my care after being wrecked by a pair of, apparently lesbian, tentacles. I looked around the street, a huge crowd had formed up around us. I turned back to Tal, "Alright, girl, time to go home."
The wurm let out a small groan and sent a pair of tentacles around my leg, pulling me off my feed and dragging me and Torque into its mouth. I felt my legs enveloped in a softly chewing warm mouth. "I know girl...I'll come visit!" I patted one of her lips, keeping one arm cradling the burned out Torque.
Eventually after a bit of security chewing I was let go. Tal burrowed into the ground, leaving a large hole in the middle of the street. I got to my hooves as the rest of the guard showed up, chariots landing heavily against us as everyone piled out and surrounded the hole.
I looked down at Torque, having since passed out in my arms. "Aw...I'm gonna miss her...aren't you?"
Torque opened her mouth, a ripping snore breaking the sounds of the guards getting into position. It was perfect, just loud enough to catch a few guards attention, but not loud enough to make her completely off putting.
"Tempo, what the hay just happened!?" my lieutenant screamed, trotting over, "What happened to Torque and Dire!?"
I snapped to attention, "Sir. Guardsmares Torque and Dire came back to report my...ingestion, by the wurm, sir! Fortunatly the wurm chased them back here, and after an ingestion herself she managed to free me!"
The lieutenant was shocked, "You both...were inside that thing?!"
"Yes sir! And as such...I think we could both use some rest.... Permission to head to the barracks?"
The lieutenant nodded hastily, "Um...yes...we'll...we'll sort this out, don't you worry. Oh...and good work Guardsmare Torque!"
I looked down at the KO'd mare, orange mane sticky and clinging to my arms, "The best work, the absolute best."
"Alright...."
"And be sure to tell them to wait until I get there!"
"I already told them."
"Good...um...thank you...."
I rubbed my face, wishing for a way to hang up without being rude, "It's fine...have a nice day."
"Um...yes.... You're a good pony...."
I turned to the door to my mother's den, "Thank you ma'am...."
"...You sound nice...."
I rubbed my temples, "Ma'am...please don't hit on me."
"...But...I- ...okay.... Bye."
"Goodbye." I hung up, turning to the den with a loud groan, "Fluttershy why!?" I groaned, assured that the rumors of her strange attraction to Satyrs was true. I wandered towards the other room, practically limping, "Torque, beer?"
Torque grumbled and folded her forelegs, leaning back in her chair. "Get it yourself...."
"Someone's still butthurt!" I yelled, yanking a beer from the holder and plopping down next to my fellow dismissed guard. "I said I'd help out--"
Torque flared her wings out, slapping me across the back of the head, "You also had a wurm molest me!"
I shrugged, "You also nearly killed me...so...I'm willing to call it even." I opened the beer and took a drink, "Oh god...this tastes like piss."
Torque grumbled and stuck a bottle between the couch cushions, "What do you expect? They don't sell you the good stuff until you're twenty."
I scratched my head, "How do you even- you're younger than me!"
Torque scooted away from me. "Look...just shut up. I don't--"
"I just sent Equestria's biggest animal rights activist to save a Tatzlwurm! Show me a little respect!" I stated, standing up and setting the crappy bottle aside.
Torque crossed her forelegs, "You also told it to...violate me."
I shrugged deeply, holding the pose for a few moments, "I did do that...but you did cum pretty hard...."
torque grew bright red, either from rage or embarrassment, "Oh, so that makes it okay!?"
"Does fear make it okay to leave me for, near , certain death!?"
"But you didn't die! I got...I got things...." She shifted around in her seat, "...I have to be honest...the grossness bugs me more than anything else...cause...did it even know what it was doing?"
"Oh yeah." I ducked down to meet her face to face, "She knew...I think."
Torque grew flustered, "So- you just told it to rape me!?"
"Did you just run the fuck away when I needed your help!?"
Torque thrust her head out to me, "You told it to rape me!"
I leaned in, meeting her eye to eye, "You left me for dead!"
Torque narrowed her gaze, "You're just a pervert...."
"And you're a traitor...."
Things grew extremely quiet, time freezing as we stared each other down.
"...Oh will you two fuck already?" My sister asked, leaning into the doorway, "I mean honestly...you could cut the sexual tension in here with a hacksaw."
I turned to her, a fire like no other burning in my eyes, "Clef...fuck off."
She stuck her hands out, "Oh- wait wait wait, let me set the mood!" she reached out of view, returning with a violin, "Here we go...." She struck up a quick, happy little tune.
Torque and myself just glared at her, "...Tempo...why's your sister such a bitch?"
I shook my head and walked back to the argument couch, "I don't know...because she's stuck up, probably."
Torque let out a short huff. "So...now what?"
I rubbed the arm of the couch, "What do you mean?"
"Well...we can't--" Torque was cut off as Clef danced into the room, still playing away like mad at her instrument. "...Do you have to be a bitch right now?"
Clef just kept playing, "I'm sorry...I can't--"
I yanked her bow from her hand, quickly snapping it across my knee and tossing it aside. She just stared at the broken bow on the ground, letting her violin fall from her shoulder and hang just above the ground. I broke the silence with a cough, "So can you go now?"
Clef glared at me with a familiar burning sibling hate, "I'm telling mom...." She stormed out, stomping her hooves as she went.
I shrugged and turned to Torque, "What about what?"
Torque shook her head, "I was gonna say...we can't go back to the guard...so...what now?"
I rubbed my chin, "Well...we both have experience with the Tat--"
"No!" she jumped off the couch and stomped her hooves, "You're lucky I'm even talking to you right now, so don't push--"
"Where else would you be!?" I asked indignantly, "You always hung around with Dire, who hung around me...until the panty thing...."
"Perv--"
I cut Torque off, "I'm not a pervert! I just...got a little drunk is all...." I looked off to the side, "Anyways...I'm sure I could go back to music...but I said I'd help you...so...." I scratched my head and turned to the window, "How good are you at singing?" I turned to Torque with a shit eating grin, "Considering your screams of ecstasy hit a new pitch...I'd say you could do it."
Torque lowered her head, "I can't tell if you're being serious and offering me some help, or if you're just being an asshole."
I cocked my head and nodded with an unsure expression, "Bit of both I think. But, I do think it's worth a try."
Torque took a deep breath, "...You know...you're still an asshole--"
"And you still abandon your friends, but go ahead."
"- I- anyways.... You're still an asshole, but I- I appreciate this...mostly."
I looked around the sparse living room, "Well I did kinda watch you get buggered by a rockwurm, so...call this me re-balancing my karma."
Torque shook her head, "You're weird."
I looked down at my pony legs, "I'm pony waist down, and man belly up, I know I'm weird...but it's fun being weird."
"Words to live by." Torque looked around the room nervously, "Hey...so...that uh- ....That Tatzlwurm's gonna be okay...right?"
I adopted an exaggeratedly skeptical look, "I- Dear Torque, it would seem you have some sort of...attraction , to the beast!" I jeered with a mock posh tone.
Torque turned her head away, "Don't be gross. I just...it was...warm and gooey...."
I covered my mouth like a poof, "Scandalous. "