Chapters Where's Faust When I'm S-Scared?
One night at Scootaloo's house, a television screen shows two scientists in shadowy figures creating a new creature of life.
"It can't be done! I don't believe you can do it." said the first scientist.
"Well then stand back and behold as I throw this switch!" shouted the second. "It's alive! Alive! HAhahahahaha!" "Stand!" he commanded.
"Oh my goodness! Look how big it is!" said the first.
"Speak!"
"AAARRR" said the monster.
"Walk to me!" "No, this way!" said the second.
"I'll get going!" said the first, running away from the lab.
"FrankenStallion, where are you going?! Come back her! No! Don't go near that door!
"AAAHHH!!" screamed a frightened mare.
"FrankenStallion, come back! Stay away from those villagers!"
Then we now see a young filly watching the show until her mother called.
"Scootaloo! It's time for bed!" called her mother.
"J-just four more minutes." begged Scoot.
"That's what you said four minutes ago!" she said to her. "Now let's skedaddle up those stairs, your father will be up in a minute to tuck you in." "Besides I think that show might be a little too scary for you."
"It's not too scary." said Scoot. "I...I like it! Yeah. I'm not scared."
Scootaloo turned to look at a small picture of her family, she gives a nice little smile. Then, the picture turned angry and sprouted silver spikes out of their necks. Scootaloo freaks out over her imagination, and runs up the stairs, to her room and slams the door!
[TR]
Scootaloo was lying on her bed and thinking about how she thought her mom said it was too scary.
"I'm not scared. It was just ...monsters... all around me. Big... growly monsters..."
A loud thumping sound was heard during her rambling, then two ponies showed up out of nowhere! One was a unicorn with a purple coat, while the other was an earth pony that was completely pink and she fell into a toy box when she fell.
"AHH! Who are you?" asked Scootaloo frightened.
"I'm Twilight, I'm a unicorn, and I'm here to help you." said the purple unicorn.
A noise came from the toy box.
"There's something in my toy chest!" Scootaloo said. "It's a monster! It's a big, scary lizard! It's... it's... a sailor pony?"
A pink mare with a small filly sized sailor outfit came out with the hat covering her eyes.
"Uh, that's Pinkie Pie." Twilight stated.
"Oh"
"Where is everypony?" asked Pinkie.
"Over here Pinkie!" called Twilight. "Ahem. We couldn't help but notice that you were just a little bit frightened, so we thought we might drop in and help."
"Yeah!...um... Fear not! For behold I bring you good tidings of great joy which should be for all ponies! For onto you..."
"Wrong story, Pinkie."
"Oh sorry!"
"Well I wasn't really scared you know." Scootaloo pointed out. "It was just a movie with a big...scary...monster. But I'm ten years old, so I can handle it."
"So you weren't scared." said Twilight.
"Nope. I wasn't scared."
"She wasn't scared." Twilight said to Pinkie.
"No not scared a bit." Pinkie said.
"Well, maybe just a little bit." said Scootaloo.
"Oh...just a little bit scared?" questioned Twilight.
"Oh, a little bit." Pinkie added.
"But not too scared!"
"Oh...well...yeah, uh-huh." they both said.
"Why? How could you guys help me? I mean, if I was scared?"
"Oh, we were just going to sing you a little song, that's all. But since you weren't even scared, I guess we'll just be on our way." said Twilight sarcastically.
"Yep. See you later!" Pinkie chimed in.
"No, wait! I guess maybe a little song might be nice... since you're in the neigh-borhood."
"Well if you weren't scared, then there's really no reason, so we'll just be going now."
"Sing the song!!" Scoots said angrily through clenched teeth.
"Ok. Here it goes."
Lights go out and a spotlight shows on both Scootaloo and Twilight.
Twilight
You were lying in your bed,
you were feeling kind of sleepy,
but you couldn't close your eyes because the room was getting...creepy!
Pinkie
Were those eyeballs in the closet?
Was that Spikezilla in the hall?
Twilight
There was something big and hairy casting shadows on the wall.
Now your heart is beating like a drum,
your fur is getting frizzy.
There's a hundred tiny monsters going right into a tizzy.
"So what are you going to do?" asked Twilight.
"I'm gonna call the royal guard!" Scootaloo said.
"No. You don't need to do anything!" she explained.
"What? Why?"
"Because..."
Twilight
Faust is bigger than the boogie-mare!
She's bigger than Spikezilla, or the monsters on TV.
Oh, Faust is bigger than the boogie-mare!
And she's watching out for you and me!
"Get it?"
"Um...well, I...hmm, well, no" said Scoot.
"Oh. You see, you don't have to be afraid because Faust is the biggest!"
"What? Is she bigger than Tirek? 'cause Tirek's a really big centaur and he's kind of scary!"
"Next to Faust, Scootaloo, Tirek would look like an itty-bitty breezie."
"Really?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Well is she bigger than changelings? 'Cause they're the biggest army of them all!"
"Compared to Faust, the changelings are like teeny little parasprites!" said Pinkie.
"Yeah, but the changelings can make slime out of their mouths. Can Faust make slime out of her mouth!?"
"Eh-heh" Twilight blushed. "Come over here, Scootaloo."
Scoot's got out of her bed and all three walked over to the nearest window.
"What do you see up there?" asked Twilight.
"My curtains." replied Scootaloo.
"No. Out the window. Up in the sky."
"I see lots of stars!" Scoots said in awe.
"Faust made all those stars out of nothing! She just went *spit* and there they were!" said Pinkie.
"No way!"
"That's right. And she also made the sun and the moon and even Equestria that we're living on right now!" said Twilight.
"Wow! The changelings couldn't do that! Even if they tried, they'd make everything really sticky."
"Do you know what else Faust made?" asked Twi.
"What?"
"She made all the plants, and creatures, and ponies to!" Pinkie said.
"Wow!"
"And that's why we don't have to be afraid."
"Huh?"
"You see, everything Faust makes is very special to her. She made all the little fillies and she loves them very much. And because she loves them, she takes extra good care of them. So we don't need to be afraid because Faust is always looking out for us." Twilight said.
"Oh, I get it! So you're saying Faust's the biggest of them all and she's on my team!" Scootaloo said happily.
"That's right! Oh, by the way, there's someone else who wants to meet you.
The thumping sound was heard again, then a familiar looking stallion showed up in the middle of the room, and Scootaloo got frightened.
"AHH! It's FrankenStallion!" Scootaloo screamed before she jumped in the toy box.
"Well, actually, my name is Silver Shill and I'm an actor from Tornado."
"What?"
"I was just pretending to be FrankenStallion on that T.V show. Um, that was my job. But really, I'm just a regular stallion and I wouldn't hurt anypony."
"Oh! I get it!"
Scootaloo ran back to her bed and sang:
Scootaloo
So when I'm lying in my bed,
and the furniture starts creeping,
I'll just laugh and say, "Hey cut that out!"
And get back to my sleeping,
cause I know that Faust's the biggest and she's watching all the while.
So when I get scared I'll think of her and close my eyes and smile!
Twilight, Pinkie, and Scootaloo
Faust is bigger than the boogie-mare!
She's bigger than Spikezilla, or the monsters on TV.
Oh, Faust is bigger than the boogie-mare!
And she's watching out for you and me!
Tiny Monster #1
So are you frightened?
Scootaloo
No, not really.
Tiny Monster #2
Are you worried?
Scootaloo
Not a bit! I know whatever's gonna happen, that Faust can handle it!
Silver Shill a.k.a. FrankenStallion
I'm sorry that I scared you, when you saw my on TV.
Scootaloo
Well, that's okay 'cause now I know that Faust is taking care of me!!
Everyone
Faust is bigger than the boogie-mare!
She's bigger than Spikezilla, or the monsters on TV.
Oh, Faust is bigger than the boogie-mare!
And she's watching out for you and me!
Scootaloo
One more time!
Everyone
Faust is bigger than the boogie-mare!
She's bigger than Spikezilla, or the monsters on TV.
Oh, Faust is bigger than the boogie-mare!
And she's watching out for you and me!
She's watching out for you and me!
Tiny Monster #1
Watching...
Tiny Monster #2
Watching...
Tiny Monster #3
Watching...
Scootaloo
Out for you and mmeeeeeee! Yeah!
The song was over, everyone left, and a knock on the door was heard.
"Scootaloo! What's all that racket in there?" asked her dad entering the room.
"Well, I was just singing."
"Well your mother and I think that show was a little too scary for you."
"Yeah. Well, Maybe. But, you know, FrankenStallion is really a guy named Silver Shill from Tornado. And he's really not scary at all! And besides, Faust is bigger than any of them and even though she doesn't make slime out of her mouth, she the whole land of Equestria and she's good care of me, to!" she said.
"Um...well, you're right! We don't have to worry about things because Faust is taking care of us. I do think we should be a little more careful about what we watch on television. And you know what? It's okay to tell us if you're really scared." reassured her dad.
"Okay, I guess you're right."
"Sounds like you've been doing some good thinking. But it's time to shut the thinker down now and get some sleep."
"Okay."
"I love you, little scoots."
"I love you, big scoots."
"I'll see you in the morning."
"Alright."
Her dad left. Scoots finally started to get some sleep, but before she did, she sang a little bit of the song to reassure herself, and she started to rest her sleepy head.
Where's Faust When I'm S-Scared?
"And now it's time for Silly Songs with Pinkie, the part of the fic where Pinkie comes out and sings a silly song. So without further ado, Silly Songs with Pinkie."
A pink bubbly mare hops in front of a western background with a giant cowboy hat and says:
"The Native Buffalo Song!"
Everypony's got a native buffalo.
Yours is bald but mine has hair.
Oh why do we have them? I don't care,
but everypony's got a native buffalo! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!
I took my buffalo to the fair.
Having fun without a care.
Spilled some jelly beans everywhere,
oh everypony's got a-
"Stop it! Stop! Stop right this instant! What do you think you're doing?" shouted Rarity as she ran on stage. "You can't say everyone's got a native buffalo when everyone does not have a native buffalo! We're going to get nasty letters saying, "Where's my native buffalo?" "Why don't I have a native buffalo?" And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so. Just stop-being-so SILLY!"
"This has been Silly Songs with Pinkie, tune in next time to hear Pinkie sing:
Everypony's got a baby manticore.
Yours is fine, but mine is sore.
Hers was small--
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
Where's Faust When I'm S-Scared?
Wise Pie and the Dragon's Den
Long, long ago, in a far-away land, there lived a young mare named Wise Pie. When Wise Pie was a filly, she was taken from her home in Luna to live in a city called Saddlelon, where she went to school in the palace of the Saddlelonian queen. Wise Pie missed her home very much. And everyday she prayed that Faust would take care of her family, and her friends, and look after her, to. Faust heard her prayers, and helped Wise Pie become wise as she grew older, until everyone in the palace knew of her wisdom. Then one night, while Saddlelon was sleeping, the queen had a dream.
Three diamond dogs came running into the throne room of Chrysalis and waited. Then Chrysalis busts through the door and sings:
Chrysalis
I am Queen chrysalis.
I've had a dream...
And now I'm feeling rather frightened and I wish someone would tell me what it means!
Wise dog #1
We are your wise dogs.
Yes, that is true.
And though we're using all our wisdom, we're afraid we can't explain your dream to you.
Chrysalis
WHAT!
Wise dog #3
But there is one who is wiser still,
and Wise Pie is her name.
So before you take another sleeping pill,
perhaps she can explain.
All eyes turn to a door on the other side of the room. Then a pink mare runs out and looses balance, and then she falls face first on the camera. After regaining balance she sings:
Wise Pie
My name is Wise Pie.
That much is true.
But it is Faust who gives me wisdom and through me she will explain your dreams to you.
Maid
Her name is Wise Pie.
That's what she said.
But when she talks about this "Faust" of hers I think she's kinda loony in the head. "I do."
Well, Wise Pie was able to explain the queen's dream, and this made the queen very happy.
Chrysalis
Wise Pie, you have enlightened me!
Your job, I will expand.
From now on, I want you to sit right beside me as the second in commaaaaaand!
This was very good news for Wise Pie, but very bad news for the wise dogs. You see, each one of them wanted to be second-in-command. Now that Wise Pie got the job, the wise dogs would have to do whatever she said. This made the wise dogs very unhappy, and they immediately started thinking of ways to get rid of Wise Pie.
The Wise Dogs form a dancing circle in the middle of the room and start to sing:
Oh, no! What we gonna do?
The queen like's Wise Pie more than me and you.
Oh, no! What we gonna do?
We've got to get her out of here.
Oh, no! What we gonna do?
The queen like's Wise Pie more than me and you.
Oh, no! What we gonna do?
We've got to get her out of here.
Wise dogs #2 and #3
We could throw her in the dungeon,
we could let her rot in jail.
We could drag her to the ocean,
have her eaten by a whale.
Wise dog #1
We could throw her in the TARDIS,
let her fly awhile then we'll all sit back and watch her meet a blood thirsty Dalek.
We could put her on a camel's back and send her off to Ur,
with a cowboy hat without a brim, a boot without a spur.
We could give her jelly doughnuts, take them all away.
Or we could fill her ears with cheese balls and her nostrils with sorbet.
We could use her as a hoofstool or a table to play scrabble on,
then tie her up and beat her up and throw her out of Saddlelon!
WD#2
"Or..."
(whispering)
WD#1
"I like it!"
WD#3
"It's sneaky!"
WD#1
"And it just..."
WD#3
"Might..."
WD#2
"Work!"
We could use her as a hoofstool or a table to play scrabble on,
then tie her up and beat her up and throw her out of Saddlelon!
The very next morning, the Wise Dogs appeared before Queen Chrysalis to try to trap Wise Pie with their scheme.
Chrysalis
"You requested my presence?"
WD#1
*ahem*
We've got some news, good Queen Chrysalis.
We fear your position is precarious.
There are some ponies here in Saddlelon who won't give you your due.
They'd rather bow to other mares...
Chrysalis
"Can this be so?!"
WD#2
"Tis true."
Chrysalis
"Oh dear."
WD#1
We've brought a solution of our own design...
If you'll just sign this paper on the dotted line.
It's an edict stating most concisely what we're all to do.
We must bow our heads or bend our knees before no one but you.
Chrysalis
"I see" *ahem*
Just one more time, now, let's see if I've got this straight.
A law to prove once and for all that I am great.
If I'm the queen no one must doubt my full supremacy.
So from this day forth my little ponies will pray to only... me!
"Yes!" "But what if they don't?"
WD#1
If they don't obey, any citizen...
will be thrown into the dragon's den.
Chrysalis
"Oh! Yes. Well, I guess that would do it!
Alright, then... good work, dogs! Ta-Ta!"
Ominous singing voice
So the law was passed... the deed was done.
Wise Pie's troubles had just begun.
Everypony in Saddlelon heard about the new law, including Wise Pie. But Wise Pie also knew Faust's law. And Faust's law told her that she should only pray to Faust. So the next day, just like any other day, Wise Pie prayed and thanked Faust for Celestia's light and for all her friends. She also thanked Faust for giving her the courage to do what was right, even when she knew it could get her in trouble.
"Did you say "trouble?" asked Wise Pie breaking the fourth wall.
"AHA!" *crash* "AHA!"
[TR]
"So you guys are wise dogs. Well, that's pretty cool. I mean, like, have you always been wise? Or do you have to go to school for that? We're you guys serious about that cheese ball thing? Hey I can see my house from here!"
(Grumble)
"Wise Pie, because you violated Section 4219-2R9-4000-6.1-7...B, of the code of Saddlelon, forbidding prayer to anyone but Queen Chrysalis, you are here by sentenced to be burned by the dragons. Good bye."
"Hey, don't I get a phone... ...CAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL?" yelled Wise Pie as she fell into the den.
"Hey Wise Pie! You're sure going to have fun down there! We're not dragging on!" said WD#2.
"A-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha"
"Uh, yeah! You better be dragging on... um... cause those dragons are gonna... um... "drag... on" you! Ha Ha!" yelled the third.
"Huh? What? Mine was funny. Yours was... goofy. "Dragons are gonna "drag on" you?" There gonna burn her! They're not gonna "drag on" her!"
"Well, maybe they're gonna drag on her, then burn her. Or one will drag on her, while another one... maybe burns her. Or while maybe one will sit on her."
"What, Like, dragons are gonna cooperate? Like one's gonna drag on her and say, "Hey, you burn her, I'll drag on her!" C'mon, we're the ones that are dragging, not the dragons.
The wise dogs then sealed the den with a rock and left Wise Pie alone in the dark to get burned.
"It's not so scary down here. Little musty, but not so scary.
(GRRRR) (GRRRR)
"Oh no... what am I gonna do? It looks like I'm gonna... end up as dragon's stew .
Ominous singing voice
Don't cry, Wise Pie...
Fear not, Wise Pie...
Don't you know you're not alone?
There is one who is watching you.
She listens when you pray.
And though it seems this time you won't get through,
Faust has made a way.
Even though she still didn't know what to expect, Wise Pie felt better when she remembered that Faust was taking care of her... even in the dragon's den. Elsewhere in the kingdom, the wise dogs were busy congratulating themselves for being so clever. While the queen, believing that she lost a good friend, decided the only thing she could do was to pray that Wise Pie's Faust, would protect her. The next morning everyone ran down to the dragon's den to see what was left of Wise Pie.
"It's hopeless." said Chrysalis. "No one can survive a night with those dragons."
Just then, a miracle happened.
"Hello?" yelled a familiar voice.
"Did you hear something?" asked Chrysalis.
"Hello?" yelled the voice again.
"Wise Pie? Is that you?"
"Oh, yeah, I'll be right up. I just have to say goodbye to my new friends!"
"It's... it's impossible!"
"Yes... it is!" said WD#1.
"Well, hello everypony!" said Wise Pie climbing out of the den. "See you guys later! Thanks for the cupcakes!"
"They had cupcakes?" wondered WD#1.
"It's a miracle!" shouted Chrysalis.
Chrysalis
Surely your Faust is above all ken.
Now I see the proof!
For even at the bottom of the dragon's den,
you were in her hooooooooof!
"I've got a new law!" proclaimed Chrysalis. "From this day forth, everyone will pray only to Wise Pie's Faust! No more of this silly praying to me business. Now, whose idea was that anyway? *gasp* Oh, yes! I remember!"
"I hear they're looking for wise creatures down in Gipsy." whispered WD#1 to WD#2. "Been fun! Gotta go now!"
"Yeah, see ya!" said WD#2 as the rest ran away.
"Now where do you think you're going?! Come back here, you scoundrels! You scallywags! Not so fast! Stop, I'm the queen! You must stop now! Get back here!"
The End
Where's Faust When I'm S-Scared?
A simple white background, two mares are about to start the show:
"Ok Pinkie! It's time for the theme song!"
"Okie Dokie Twilight, uh what do I do?"
"Hmm let's see, I know you play the guitar!"
"Twi, I don't know how to play that."
"Oh you're right. Well ok, how about this?"
"I don't want to play that! I'll look stupid!"
"Oh come on! It'll be fun!"
"Nope, not gonna do it!"
"It's for the fillies."
"Oh ok, but they better not think of me differently!"
"Alright, better go on out there!"
A pink mare looks at the camera, gives a small grin, then hops to the middle of the screen and blows into her sousaphone at a steady beat. Then twilight starts to sing :
If you like to talk to alicorns,
if a mule can get to smile.
If you like to fly with Pegasi,
if that is your kind of style!
"Have we got a show for you!"
Twilight gives a big toothy grin to the camera, then a chorus of nowhere to be seen ponies sing:
PonyTa-a-ails!
PonyTa-a-ails!
PonyTa-a-ails!
PonyTa-a-ails!
PonyTa-a-ails!
PonyTa-a-ails!
PonyTa-a-ails!
Po-nyTails!
Oats and hay, work all day, then we play, PonyTails!
Changeling queen, Gilda's mean, pinkie keen, PonyTails!
Ursa minor, pony power, half an hour, PonyTails!
There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever, been a show like PonyTails!
There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever, been a show like PonyTails!
It's time for PonyTa-a-a-a-a-a-a-ails!
Pinkie falls over from exhaustion and gives one last blow through the Sousaphone, flowers come out of it, everypony laughs, and now the show begins.
We now open in a bedroom with two mares looking at the camera and then twilight says:
"Hi fillies, and welcome to PonyTails! I'm twilight the unicorn."
"And I'm Pinkie the earth pony!"
"And we're here to answer your questions." Twilight said.
"That's right!" said Pinkie.
Twilight then walks over to a desk with a letter and says:
Now today we got a letter from Lotus Blossom from Phoenix, Air Zone who writes:
Dear Twilight and Pinkie,
I am six years old. And sometimes I think there are monsters in my closet.
That makes me really scared! Can you help me?
"Ooh! I remember once I thought there were monsters in my closet!" said Pinkie.
"Yeah, well, what happened pinkie?" asked twilight.
"Well, it turns out they weren't really monsters at all. Just my fluffy bunny slippers. And they're not so scary, just kind of squishy."
"Oh, I see. Well Lotus Blossom, first check to see if it's just your slippers. And look at this story of how Scootaloo the Pegasus filly got a little bit scared."
Where's Faust When I'm S-Scared?
"Wow! that was really neat how Faust protected Wise Pie from those dragons! And you did a very good job." complimented twilight.
"Why, thank you. It was my finest hour!" said Pinkie.
"We're over here by TRIXIE to talk about what we learned today."
Choir
And so what we have learned applies to our lives today.
And Faust has a lot to say in her book.
Twilight
"As I was saying we're..."
Choir
You see, we know that Faust's word is for everyone.
Now that our song is done we'll take a look.
*ahem* "Well, Scootaloo learned that Faust is bigger than anything in Equestria. And because Faust loves us so much she's always looking out for us, so we don't have to be afraid." explained Twilight.
"Yep. And in the Bridle, Wise Pie learned that Faust was taking care of her, even in there with those big, scary, dragons!" said Pinkie.
"That's right! Let's see if TRIXIE has a verse for us today."
"Ok"
Yummy Veggieloaf
One pound ground beets
3 slices bread
1 half onion
"TRIXIE this is a recipe for Veggieloaf! That's not a verse!" "Sorry about that." "Ok, here we go. And Faust says in "Zecora 41:10:"
> "So do not fear, for I am with you."
"Hmm. So the next time you get scared, just remember that verse. And tonight, before you go to sleep, why don't you pray with your mom or dad and thank Faust for always looking out for you."
"Yeah, that's a good idea!" pinkie interjected.
"Well, that's all the time for now. Till next time, remember: Faust made you special and she loves you very much.
"Bye!" they both said together before walking off.
The End