Twilight kills herself a lot

"Oh Dashie, I'm so sorry."

Pinkie had been apologizing for a while. I was still trying to figure out what happened the last few minutes. I said something to that effect, and Twilight cast her spell again, but I bopped her horn before she could finish. I really did not want to see myself reduced to a burning corpse. It was so weird though, after awhile it was just like I went to sleep except instead of waking up in the ground I was wide awake in the air. I landed, because I really needed to just sit for a while. Twilight had this huge smile on her face and had been taking so fast I have no idea if she was even trying to say words. Then she suddenly left.

"Pinkie, for the last time I'm fine. I guess I'm like Twi now somehow."

"Ooo, that rhymes."

"And it totally makes sense that you might think I'm undead, and obviously a flamethrower is totally the best way to deal with zombie ponies. Besides Twi probably would have wanted to kill me again to make sure anyway."

"But didn't it hurt?"

"Nah, I think Twi cast some spell on me to remove the pain almost right away. Honestly most of my crashes hurt worse than that."

"So we're okay?"

"Sure, we're cool. And just like every other time in the last few minutes, apology accepted."

"Whooo!" She threw her hooves up briefly, then around me in a hug.

"So how are you feeling?"

Twilight reentered the room, briefly looking in the direction of the black tarp covering my corpse. It wasn't the first time I'd seen a charred corpse, but it was still odd to think it was mine. I then noticed Twilight had a basket floating beside her with a purple glow around it.

"So what's in the basket Twi and what happens now?"

"Well they're muffins for Pinkie and after I explain a few things…"

Pinkie shoveled somewhere between 3 and 8 muffins into her mouth the second Twi mentioned they were for her. "Wait, they were all for me right?"

"Well, yes, but that isn't really the issue."

Twilight put down the basket, then pulled a weird thin clear crystal out of her mane, fancy runes carved into it. They glowed different colors every so often, seemingly at random. Pinkie was licking her lips.

"Those were really good Twilight, who made them?"

"Oh I did. I told you I'd practice, and I did. A while back I got a lot of practice baking actually. I'm so glad to know you approve."

Something about that bugged me, but I couldn't immediately place what. "What is that crystal thing Twi?"

"Oh, a resurrection scroll."

Pinkie laughed. "You're such a silly pony sometimes."

"Yea, that's totally not a scroll." I added

"Well not literally, this is better, but many high level spells that take great effort were made into scrolls since storing them is the only thing that made sense."

I blinked. "Wait, so that will really…"

"Completely revive and heal anyone from even a small body part. I also have one that should work with no remains at all though it's less reliable."

I gasped. "Let me guess, you have five."

"Don't be silly. That would mean no backups. I made plenty of extras."

"It's really that easy?" I asked

"Yes and no. You have to understand Dash. This level of magic wears me out even now. Mass production is not exactly possible. Though by the same token it's not impossible. There is a reason that the star witness in the few Equestrian murder trials is usually the victim."

"So everypony can be immortal?" I asked

She shook her head. "No, this spell restores based on recent state. Otherwise it can reattach a head but can't fix old age or disease. Though obviously many diseases can be cured with magic and in fact…"

I held up a hoof. "Yea, I remember you going on about this sort of stuff. Medical magic and science gets better every day, increased life expectancy, bla, blaw, bla. Whatever."

"Oooo, does that mean Twilight talked and thinks a lot about extending life and health."

"Well yes, obviously." Said Twilight. "Healthy living is important, though Pinkie I really should tell you about those muffins."

I paled, suddenly remembering why Twi has been practicing her cooking.

"Yea, they were supper yummy, especially that weird sort of spicy, but also sugary supper yummy taste I've never had before."

"So it wasn't my imagination." She clapped her hooves together. "That's so good to know. It was totally bugging me, and I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to ask somepony their opinion. I mean I thought the NDP456 really added something too, but I wasn't sure."

I felt like I should do something, but it was a little late now.

"Wow, I've never heard of that. What is it?"

"Oh, it's a deadly artificial poison that first acts as a neurotoxin, then dissolves not just most internal organs, but itself, leaving no trace."

Pinkie's ears folded back and she frowned. "Oh. So…"

"I was going to warn you about the poison, but I guess that's what you get for taking without asking, even if I did plan to give them to you if you agreed." Twilight then laughed. "Generally death is far to harsh a punishment but…"

I smiled, finally getting it. "You think it's all of us. Which means Pinkie is just going get right back up just like you do."

Twilight beamed. "Isn't that just wonderful."

Pinkie then fell over, hitting the ground with a smack. Her eyes stared off into space with a blank look I knew way too well. I looked right at Twilight again. She was staring intently at Pinkie, her horn lit up.

"What exactly are you doing?"

"I am examining the precise working of the magic as it revives her. Well hopefully."

"So, this has something to do with the elements I guess?"

Twilight nodded. "I would guess so. Perhaps the elements realized making just me immortal would break up the set, perhaps your role simply bonded you to me and you'd only die if I do."

"So does that mean you…"

"Why does Twilight taste like blue? That makes no sense. She should taste like purple."

Pinkie sat up very suddenly, sticking out her tongue and running her hoof over it like she way trying to remove something from it. Then she fell backwards with a huge cringe. She then rushed off. Twi's eyes went wide and we soon found ourselves in Twilight's bathroom, Pinkie running her tongue under the running faucet.

"How did you know that Pinkie was here?"

"Tracking spell, but this is upstairs already and the elevator…" Twilight then sighed.

"So Pinks, what happened?" I asked

"I had something icky on my hoof." Pinkie then blinked. "Wait, why doesn't that happen more often?"

"Most ponies don't actually lick their own hooves." Said Twilight, shaking her head.

"But still…" I paused, realizing how odd what I was about to say actually way. "She has a point, I mean at the very least any earth ponies should get a little dust on…"

"Magic. Earth pony magic is subtle but it resists things sticking to the hooves, even dust to an extent and…"

"Boring." Said Pinkie "Come on, we have more friends to kill."

Twilight and I both stared at Pinkie.

Pinkie put a hoof on her chin. "Oh, that sounded bad, didn't it."

"Especially since we didn't explain anything yet." Said Twilight

I sighed "You totally know anyway, don't you?"

Pinkie nodded. "Yeppers. I guess nopony explained it, but I totally get it. The elements are just more and more nifty the more we learn about them."

"Isn't it just amazing." Twi was smiling widely but then frowned. "Wait…"

"Let it go Twi, let it go. Come on, lets get going. I mean of our three remaining friends it's really obvious who will be the easiest to convince."

Pinkie's ears drooped. "Oh, that's no fun. Fluttershy is totally going to be easy but it just seems sort of mean somehow."

"Still, she is a good place to start and I'm sure after a proper explanation she can be convinced to submit to testing."

Pinkie and I both nodded. I mean I was sure I'd have to drag her out from under her bed at least once, but in the end she would cave.