Chapters "Ah shit, my ass hurts. Last time I remember my ass hurting was that one time when........"
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I was walking down an alleyway when I suddenly got ambushed by some gangsters.
"Give us all your money or you will die right here right now" The one in the red shirt told me.
"How about I give you something like..........THIS?!" I told him while I threw a knife at his face, doing a clean headshot.
I quickly dodged one of them as they tried to hit me with a baseball bat. I grabbed the end of the bat and hit him with it right in the face. Then I quickly took out my knife, stabbed the guy in the leg, turned around and stabbed the other one in the back. There were only two of the gangsters left. One of them had a gun. 'Sh*t' I thought. I ducked behind a wall and they started to approach me. I remember something. There was a tablet in my backpack. 'Of course' I thought to myself. I took out the tablet, aimed it with my hand and sucked the life out of it. Then I quickly got out of the cover and started walking towards the two remaining gangsters. The one with the gun started shooting me. He ran out of mags and I was standing still. Bullets were like more powerless BBs to me.
"My turn" I said. I turned invisible as quick as I could. I ran to the one with the gun and executed him from behind. I quickly absorbed some smoke from the vent nearby and crouched down. I launched myself into the sky turning into the smoke. When I reached the high level, I turned into 3 fireballs spinning around each other. When the fireballs mixed up together, they formed a humanoid. It was me. I smirked and threw myself to the ground, causing a major explosion and destruction. "Whew. That was one hell of a fight. I really need to head home now" I said it as I absorbed some neon from the nearest store sign. I used my power of the light speed running and got to my house in couple of minutes. When I got home, I opened my closet. I put on my regular shirt with a King Pig from Angry Birds on it. The shirt says "King Pig stole my homework". Then I put on my regular jeans and my trainers. I got out of my house and went on the way to the comic-con. Thank god after some time they decided to have Comic-Con and Brony-Con set up in my country. My British friend was supposed to be at Comic-Con for 3 hours and then Brony-Con. I was walking to the Brony-Con, because I knew I had to find out a way to enter the portal to Equestria. Having a makeshift Delsin Rowe costume home made me a fucking Conduit. I have that costume with me in my backpack. I always carry it with me, along with my spray cans, my tablet, my laptop and some throwing knives. I got to the Brony-Con. I got inside and asked for directions to the toilet. I put on my makeshift Delsin Rowe costume. I forgot to say, It was the SAME clothing Delsin wore in the game, except the jeans, it was kinda different, because it had bigger pockets. I got out of the toilet and started walking around. I accidentally stomped into Tara Strong, one of the main voice actors for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. "Sorry, miss, I didn't see you. I was just thinking to myself about some stuff" I said.
"Oh, It's nothing. What's your name?" She asked.
"It's Michael, Miss" I told her.
"Nice to meet you, Michael. I hope you stay with us at this convention til the end" She said.
"I hope too" I said and laughed. She laughed too and then walked off. I went to the apartments. There was supposed to be this dude who was caught for raping 7 children, 6 of them being boys, and for killing 19 children. He broke out of prison and now has the name of Giorgi Dabdurashvili. I know, long and unknown name, but whatever, that's his fake one. The real one is Nikoloz Shabatadze. Anyway, I heard that he is in room 234, 6th Floor. I walked up to his room and knocked on the door. Once he opened the door, I grabbed him by his neck and threw him on his bed. I walked to his side, taking out my throwing knife and stabbing him right in the heart. Then I took out the knife and carved the words "Don't Bury Me, I Killed 19 Children and Raped 7" on his body, front part. I got out of the room and closed the door behind me. It turns out that my friend has shared his room with me. he was on the 9th floor, room 340. I walked up the stairs and to the room 340. I opened the door. There was a toilet next to the door, and two beds, each far away from one another and a TV right in front of our beds. "Yo, Connor, what's up?" I asked him
"Sup?" He said.
"I'm cool, how bout you?" I told him.
"Yeah, me too" He said.
"I had a crazy day today. I turned invisible and executed a gangster, killed the others with my throwing knives and I Orbital Dropped on the last one. It was so epic. Then when I came here, I stomped into Tara Strong. Then came on the 6th floor and finished off a pedophile who also has killed 19 children." I said before I drifted off to sleep.
"Wow. Great adventure dude. Alright, g'night. Tomorrow is gonna be a big day" He said before he drifted off to sleep too.
Travel to Ponyville, LIKE A BOSS!!!
The next day we woke up, we quickly got dressed and left Brony-Con. While walking to the nearest food store, we stumbled upon an alleyway, but it wasn't your usual alleyway, it was a portal to somewhere.
"Dude, the fuck is that?" I asked.
"I dunno, dude, but we gotta check it out" He said and started walking towards an alleyway.
"I guess you're right. HEY, WAIT UP!!!" I told him.
We walked to the portal and It sucked us inside. We woke up and it turns out that we were in some kind of scary forest.
"Everfree!" I said.
"Really?!" My friend asked.
"No dude, we're just in some kind of creepy forest. Plus, Everfree Forest is a fictional place." I told him.
"True, true." He said.
"Come on let's get ou-----AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I was talking while at the same moment some kind of monster ambushed us. "HOLY FUCKING BALLS, IT'S VLADIMIR PUTIN!!!" I said and quickly dodged his attack.
"Dude, you have your smoke ability, video ability, neon ability and concrete ability. WHY DON'T YOU USE IT?!" My friend yelled at me.
"I JUST SHIT MY PANTS!!" I yelled and dodged another attack. I quickly grabbed the creature by it's arm and we drifted off to sleep. When we woke up, I felt that I had some kind of new power. I got back up and I raised my hand in position that I used to suck some smoke, neon, video and concrete and get me some more powers and shit. Anyway, as I raised my hand, I sucked some leaves in my hand. "That's it? That's all you got? A leaf power? Like how do I kill some dudes with leaves?! Are you fucking kidding me?" I said and quickly dodged his another attack. At least I could call in some Blast Cores which gave me AWESOME NEW POWERS!!!! Anyway, I called in a Blast Core and it landed right on top of the monster. "Seems legit" I said. I got near the Blast Core and sucked the shit out of it(not literally). I lost my consciousness. When I woke up, my hands were glowing red. I got up on my feet and aimed my hand at the nearest tree. I shot out some green lasers. "Whoa. I guess these are leaf powers. Still better powers than Spider Man" I said and called in another Blast Core. Once I was done with calling in Blast Cores and getting me some new powers, I hovered up in the air and looked for the nearest town or village. "There. I see a small town-village-thing. We gotta get there as quick as possible, or we could die" I told him. I was curious about why he was so silent. I looked back at him saw that he was unconscious."Well, shit." I said. I grabbed him and started walking towards the nearest town-village. We got nearby and "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! PONIES?!" I said and drifted off to my thoughts. Then I realized it "WHAT THE FUCK?! WE'RE IN PONYVILLE?!"I said it. Yes I said it, we were in ponyville. But to our unluckiness, no ponies "Great, we're now the new Zecoras" I said. My friend had woken up and he's staring at my ass.
"Why am I hanging like this?" He asked.
"You lost consciousness when I was fighting that monster" I told him.
"Oh."
"Sooo, whachu wanna do? We are in Ponyville, Equestria and we have some AWESOME new prowes" I told him.
"You mean powers."
"Prowse"
"Powers"
"Powers"
"Yes, that's right"
"Okay."
We started walking in the town. We got near the Sugarcube Corner. With some hungry stomachs, we stepped at the door and knocked.
"Hello? Have you got any pizza? Or maybe some delicious sweets? We're hungry" I asked the door.
"Maybe nobo---noPONY is there? Maybe there is a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AND THEY ALL DIED AND THE SAME FATE AWAITS US!!" He started panicking. I quickly slapped him.
"If there were zombies, we would see them everywhere in the streets." I said. Suddenly I heard some men.
"You there. STOP!! Don't move or you will be shot down." I turned around and saw DUPs.
"Maybe they're afraid of............them?" I asked my friend.
5 minutes later.
"Where do you come from and who sent you?" I asked one of the DUP member. He was on the ground, his face facing(pun?) the ground and his hands and legs behind him, with my chain acting as handcuffs.
"I will tell you nothing" He said.
"Well okay then. Don't think that I can't find that out" I said and quickly shot him in the face with my leaf laser. "Okay. Now...........Back to food" I said and knocked on the Sugarcube Corner one more time. "Hello? We need some food please." No response, again.
"Dude, let's get outta here. Maybe come back when they calm down." My friend told me.
"Okay." We went to the nearest hill and set up a camp there. It was getting dark, so we didn't hesitate and went inside our tents to sleep. The night was beautiful and........Wait I was sleeping so that means...........
"Hello, mysterious creature" A horse figure, Princess Luna, was talking to me.
"Hello, blue horsie" I wouldn't tell her that I know her from a TV Cartoon, pffft.
"I am no horse, creature. My name is Princess Luna and I am a pony" She told me.
"Oh, so I guess you're a royalty here. Where da queen and king?" I asked.
"There is no queen or king in Equestria. There's only princess and there are two of us, Celestia, my sister and me" She said.
"Okay. That's cool, I understand." I told he------"BTW can I sleep without interruptions? I need some cool dream with adventure in it" I told he-----------"Oh and some Pizza" I told he-------------"And some girls" DAMN IT SHUT THE FUCK UP, ME, I'M TELLING A STORY, DON'T INTERRUPT ME....Anyway.........I told her.
"You'll get the dream but you have to promise us that you will save the whole Equestria from those creatures that look like you. Farewell!" She said this and then disappeared. Anyway, I got my dream(the one I asked for of course) and soon enough slept like a baby.
We woke up the next day and it looks like our camp was surrounded by DUPs. I quickly leaf dash to the fireplace and absorb some smoke. I still have that crow on my jacket's back
Anyway as I get my chain ready, the DUPs aim their guns at me. I quickly attacked the one nearest to me and executed him. Then I shot some other DUPs in the heads with my smoke shots and lastly I orbital dropped on the last 5 DUP's asses. I looked at Ponyville from here, it wasn't the same as yesterday. Big DUP towers, DUP centers and DUP prisons. I had a choice to make, either Save Ponyville or Save Our Asses. Saving Ponyville would make me a hero, but saving our own asses would make me infamous, because it would be evil to see that they need help, but just walk away from it. I know what I have to do. Suddenly the crow on my jacket's back turned into two birds. There's a star between these birds. The left one is white while the right one is red. The white one was rising. I had chosen the path of a hero. I quickly ran into the town and to the first DUP center. When I got inside, I got ambushed. My friend was taken hostage. I shot the tower with a Cinder Blast but it didn't work. This tower was far more powerful than the others. I rushed up to the tower and found that it's reinforced, the only way of taking it down is the Orbital Drop. I quickly started subduing DUPs around this area and when I subdued all of them, I rushed over to the tower and took it down. More and more DUPs started coming towards me, one of them was behind me, but I couldn't see him and that's when I got in trouble. The guy behind me shot me with a sleeping dart and I quickly drifted off to sleep. When I woke up I was inside one of the DUP trucks, and I couldn't move my hands. They had handcuffed me, but these weren't normal handcuffs, they disabled powers. I started hitting the door with my right side. The DUPs tried to stop me but they couldn't. I hit the door one more time. I knew that one more hit and I'm out. So, I went back as far as I could, charged at the door and broke it open. I was in Canterlot, near the gates. I started running towards the castle. It looks like that these guys took me to Canterlot, to their new leader and then he ordered them to take me to the Crystal Empire and that's when I woke up, on the road to Ponyville. The truck hadn't passed Canterlot yet, it was outside, near the gates. Anyway, I continued running towards the castle. I got to the castle and then inside it. I was running in the hallway when I saw more DUPs. They spotted me. I turned around and started running the opposite direction. There were more DUPs in front and some more behind me, but none on the left, so I started running left. They aimed at me and started shooting, I was dodging the shots as much as I could, but when I got tired of running, I leaned near a window and got shot and I also had concrete daggers all over my legs. I fell out of the window and into the waterfall.
"Ugh! Where am I?"
"Oh he's awake" I heard a woman's noise. "Lyra, please bring me the bandages"
"What happened?" I asked the woman. She was a white earth pony with pink hair and the nurse's hat. "Who are you? Where am I?"
"I'm Nurse Redheart. Right now you are in Ponyville hospital, sir. Lyra saw you falling from Canterlot Castle into the Everfree Forest, so she traveled to the Everefree Forest, near the waterfall. When Lyra found you, she brought you here. As you can see, everypony here is dying from the concretes into their body and it turns out that those concretes are coming outside the same way they went inside and that is the only way to save them." She told me.
"Don't worry nurse, I've got some concrete powers but..." I said pausing.
"But what?" She asked.
"I have to absorb it from the DUPs, but as far as I know, after the DUPs lost their base in Ponyville, they went to Canterlot and Crystal Empire" I told her.
"If you take the train, You will be there in less than 7 hours" She told me.
"Thank you, Nurse Redheart. I'll be back, I promise and you bet your ass I will save all of these poor, helpless ponies." I told her and got out of the hospital. I was walking in Ponyville when I remembered something "Oh shit!" I said and started running towards the field. When I went on the field the camp was still there and my friend was sleeping. "I'm sorry bro. I will never leave you alone again, In fact, I'll take you with me on an adventure." I told him and started preparing a normal truck.
Being asleep is never bad, it's the most beautiful thing you can think of, because you can imagine everything and anything. The dream I was getting, it was no mere dream. It was the death. I know I'm a Conduit but we die too...I could feel the blood coming out of my stomach. The sight was so beautiful: the trees, the field, the beautiful creatures all around and I was just laying there, bleeding to death. There was no saving me, or at least that's what I thought.
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I woke up in my tent, my friend was already awake and was cooking food. He didn't know I was back, so he didn't pay much attention to my tent. I sneaked out to surprise him. I was behind him and then it happened.
"Peek-a-boo" I said.
"HORY SHET!" He yelled and hit me in the face with a frying pan. "Oh dude, sorry. I didn't know you had returned"
"That didn't hurt at all" I got up and hugged him. "Glad to see you too, buddy"
"So, what happened to you?" He asked.
"Freed Ponyville from DUPs, got captured, got shot, fell into a waterfall, wake up in a hospital and now I have to get some DUPs and absorb their concrete powers to save the citizens who need MY help" I told him
"Yeah, about that...I heard that the DUPs took all the hurt citizens to the Crystal Empire" He told me.
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" I said. "We have to get there as quick as possible."
We went to Ponyville. For now, It was the only liberated town here. The Friendship Castle was still standing. I broke down the door and saw everything. 'No. It can't be....' I couldn't believe what was right in front of me.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed out loud and started punching the crystals. It was her. Twilight was trapped inside these crystals and she didn't even have room for anything other than her snout which helped her to breath.
"DUDE!!!" My friend grabbed me and took me back "Calm down, calm down. We will get that son of a bitch and take his powers I promise"
He calmed me down a bit. We got out of the castle and started walking to our camp. When we reached it, we took everything and put all of it in the back of the truck. My friend started the engine and we started going to Canterlot city. I still couldn't get the thought of Twilight being trapped inside a crystal out of my head. When we arrived, I saw something that wasn't here yesterday....The crystals were all over the castle. I got inside the city and got ambushed by some crystal freaks. I quickly readied my chain. One of them charged at me, so I swung my chain at it and got it by it's leg. Then I threw him down and blew it up. 'One down. Three to go.' I quickly dodged the second one and blew him up too. The others charged at me at the same time. "Bad move" I told them and jumped on top of the right one. Then I grabbed the left one with my chain, swung him around and then I threw him in the air. After that I jumped up and comet dropped on his head. Then I jumped down and that's when the second one fell on the downed guy. I started walking forward. More DUPs in front of me. I readied my hand and cinder blasted one group. then the other one. Then came the DUP A.P.C, but I blew it up with a cinder missile. One of the prime conduits who was also one of the leaders of the D.U.P was in front of me watching this. I was still walking and cinder blasting all the DUPs and destroying DUP towers and prisons. He tried going back but I smoke dashed near him and grabbed him by his arm and we fell, unconscious. When I woke up, I was covered in ice cold water, but I couldn't feel a thing. I saw that ice was covering my arms "Oh this is gonna be awesome" I said in some kind of evil tone. I blasted the DUP commander with ice shards. He got down to his knees faster than I could imagine. I started swinging my ice hand-blades at him and wounded him but that's when it all happened: he stabbed me in the stomach. He threw me down to the field but I grabbed him and fell with him. When we fell down, I didn't get the fall damage, but he crushed to death. I was looking up in the sky as I was bleeding to death. There were trees and beautiful creatures around me. I was about to die, but then I heard someone.
"IT'S ALIVE AND IT'S BLEEDING TO DEATH. WE GOTTA GET IT TO THE HOSPITAL!!!" I heard it. and then I blacked out.
I woke up in a hospital. It was empty, there was no one but me. I started walking towards the door. I fell down to my knees for a second, then I stood back up. I continued to make my way to the door. I opened it and got outside. I was in Ponyville. My friend was right in front of the hospital.
"Dude, how much time were you in there? I have been waiting a long time for you" He said.
"How much?" I asked.
"One week" He told me.
"Wait, WHAT?! So I was knocked out for a week?" I asked.
"Looks like it."
"Damn it. Let's just get to Manehattan for now"
"Hop on in." He told me. I got inside the truck and we were on the road to Manehattan.
Oh hey look, we're back. Sort of...
Am I real? or am I not? No, wait. Wrong question.... Ahem... Is this world real? or is it just my imagination? I couldn't tell, as these ponies were.... Well, colorful, talking and horses with WINGS AND HORNS?! HOLD IT!! Did I miss anything? Or no wait, I'm writing this. Wait, why am I writing ALL my thoughts in this diary? Oh, who cares. Anyway, this world is...... well, it's something. I just want to experience a nice, wa---- "Dude, we're out of eggs" "Well, stop by the farm and get some then..." -----rm Winter, with nothing more than a company of my friend, if-she-exists girlfriend and a ball with a face drawn on it... Yeah, I don't know why I want that, but still: I just want a ni---- "Dude, we're out of gas" "WAHT DAH FAHK-SHE?!" "We out gas-she" "God damn it, Connor. Ugh, let's go get it" --ce god damned time to spend it on writing, reading and not finding gas. Anyway, gotta have to continue writing this diary later. Deer diary, this was a pun, I'm gonna have to rephrase that. Dear diary, I'll come back in a chapter or two with more... wait, why am I even breaking the 4th wall? This isn't my character. Back to the story: Dear diary.... The End.... for now....