Chapters Living with the Night
By Silentpegasus
Chapter 1
Welcome Back
When Connor Rowe arrived, the local ponies had just seen Discord, the God of chaos and disharmony return and thought him to be a minion of the chaos lord. These ‘ponies’ had human features but had fur, pointed ears, hooves instead of feet and some even had horns sprouting from their heads or wings from their backs. Thanks to the Princess’s student, Twilight Sparkle, their minds were put to ease as he proved to be no threat. Connor was given citizenship and teleported his home that arrived in a very Wizard of Oz fashion, thankfully he found no red shoes under his porch.
Through months of research, the Princesses found the rift and the way home for the man, but they were discovered by the humans first. Princess Celestia and Luna met with Earth’s leaders to negotiate, a peace treaty was struck and humans were allowed to visit Equestria after a screening process. Most humans chose to stay on their world while few chose to migrate to the new world. Unfortunately, a calamity named Tirek struck. Most humans were too scared to venture there after he’d been sent back to Tartarus and several moved back to their home after he was dealt with. Connor chose to stay and was being treated by the best doctors available for his injuries.
~~~
PrincessTwilight Sparkle paced back and forth in her new castle. Her hooves clicked against the crystal like floors while she rubbed her chin with her finger. She stood at 5’8” had an indigo mane with a like of pink running through it, her violet eyes complemented her lavender colored fur. She was donning a lavender sweater vest over a white collared shirt and a skirt that went to her knees.
“Twi, ya gotta calm down.” An orange furred pony said as she adjusted her stetson hat. She crossed her arms over her red checkered shirt that went well with her blue jean shorts. “Yer gonna fuss yer self to death on o’ these days.” She said as she let out a sigh.
“I must agree with Applejack darling.” A very refined voice said. The voice belonged to a pristine white furred mare with a fabulous purple mane and tail that had a slight curl in it. She was donning a white blouse that brought out her sapphire eyes. “If you keep worrying like that then crows feet will start forming.” She said as she put a bit more blush on her cheeks.
“But Princess Celestia and Cadence are coming here and they said it was important!” The lavender Unicorn piped up. Her mane was starting to stick out in certain parts of her head.
“She probably wants to compliment us on how awesomely we took down Tirek.” A cocky and somewhat raspy voice bellowed. Twilight looked over to a cyan Pegasus mare with a vibrant seven color mane and tail. The mare was just hovering over her seat with her arms folded over her white tank top that contrasted her black jeans.
“Yeah, she could be planning a huuuuge party for us!” A very pink and very hyperactive mare stated as she started jumping for joy. Her curly pink mane bounced as she continued to hop. The room was then filled with bright yellow light and a touch of pink. Everypony uncovered their eyes from the light and saw Princess Celestia and Princess Cadence. The sun goddess’s white fur shined in the sunlight and her stunning white dress flowed like her mane and tail. Princess Cadence was wearing a similar pink dress to go with her fur and match her triple colored mane of pink, yellow and purple. The pink alicorn also had a slight bulge in her stomach.
“Twilight it’s so good to see you again.” Celestia beamed. The lavender Alicorn rushed forwards and hugged her mentor and sister-in-law. The three sat down and got comfortable before Celestia started speaking. “Now, I know you’re all wondering why I called you here today.”
“Oh! Oh! Did you get us a huge statue like Spike in the Empire?” The egotistical cyan flyer said. Celestia chuckled as Twilight face palmed.
“No, nothing like that. I-” The Princess was cut off as six watches went off simultaneously. The six mares looked down at their watches and their pupils shrank to pin tips. Pinkie jumped from her seat and zoomed away with a cloud of pink smoke behind her. “Is there something wrong?”
“No, nothings wrong Princess.” Twilight said with a nervous smile. “It’s just that a friend of ours is getting out of the hospital today and we have something planned for him.”
“Who?” Cadence asked with interest.
“Connor Rowe.” Celestia and Cadence thought for a moment and tried to place the name to a face. “The human that showed after the Discord fiasco. He was injured during Tirek’s rampage.” The pieces fell into place and both Alicorns remembered Twilight’s letter describing the event.
“I am terribly sorry Twilight,” Celestia said in a guilty tone. “I completely forgot that he was getting out today. Shall we go and see him?”
“Not necessary Princess.” The farmer said with a smile. “We got a little surprise wait’n for ‘em later on. Mac, Caramel, and the guys are getting him now, so we best mosey on back and help get ready.”
~~~
Three and a half months. That’s how long Connor had been in the hospital since the 'Tirek Incident' as it came to be called by the locals, or the ‘Battle of Ponyville.’ Connor was an average looking man, dark brown hair to match his eyes. He had a slim exterior that had a toned muscle clinging to his form. He’d have to thank AJ and Big Mac’s farm for getting him in shape. Since the portal opened up Equestria’s technology department was booming. This was good business for a computer nerd/handy man such as Connor.
The man sat on his hospital bed gazing out the window at the peaceful town below. A knock on the door caught the man’s attention. His eyes fell upon a white earth pony mare with a light pink mane styled in a bun behind her white nurse cap. “Morning Connor, how are you feeling?” She asked in a warm tone.
“Still a few kinks in the system,” He said as he stood up and cracked his neck. “but certainly better than I was Red Heart.” The nurse gave a slight cringe as the memories of when the man first came in after Tirek’s rampage. She set a bottle of pain pills down next to his bed as he went in the bathroom to change. He had a grey collared shirt with a pair of blue pants. When he came back out Red Heart had a wheelchair by her side. “You’re kidding. You’re kidding right?”
“Sorry, it’s hospital policy. You have to leave in a wheel chair.” Connor crossed his arms and pouted. “If you won’t go willingly then I could always sedate you.” The man had had enough of her needles.
“That won’t be necessary.” He said as he sat down in the chair. “Okay get me out of this place.”
“Oh you won’t miss me? I’m hurt.” She giggled as she wheeled him down the hallway.
“Well, if you want I could break my leg once every two weeks.” Connor liked Red Heart, she was a kind caring pony that he could joke around with, and for the better part of three months was a constant source of communication with the outside world. He also liked that she didn’t beat around the bush when it came to her patients’s condition.
“We should change the room number and just have a name slate for you then.”
“I liked the room by the pool better.” As he was rolled out into the lobby, he saw five familiar figures; a hulking red Earth pony stallion with an orange mane and tail donning a plaid shirt and blue jeans. He wore a large yolk around his neck and had a piece of straw in his mouth. Next to him was a black Pegasus stallion with a white mohawk, donning a white under armor shirt and gym pants. To his right was a dark blue Unicorn stallion with a styled grey mane and donning a nice shirt and vest combo.
A dark yellow Unicorn stallion with a blue mane wearing a tan shirt and brown pants waved to him. Finally there was a tan Earth pony stallion with a chestnut brown mane and tail donning a brown shirt and pants with a tear at the knee.
“Welcome back to the land of the living.” The dark Pegasus said as he zoomed up to him and smiled. Connor got to his feet and let out a groan.
“How ya feel’n partner?” The red farmer said with a smile.
“Fair. I’ll be back to work in a few days Mac.” The farmer chuckled and raised a hand.
“Take all the time ya need. Harvesting season just got done so things are slow for the most part. Besides, half the town is in a panic since they don’t know how to fix all those new gizmos you humans like so much.” Upon his arrival, Connor opened up a small repair shop he ran out of his garage. Since humans started coming through, ponies have been getting more up to date tech with no knowledge on how to fix it, that’s where Connor came in.
“Hold on there Mr. Rowe.” Red Heart said as she pulled out a cane.
“Oh come on Red Heart, I’m twenty-six! I don’t need that thing.”
“You need to keep off that right leg as much as possible.” She rolled her eyes. “Come back in a week for one last check up, just to make sure you’re healing properly.” He took the cane and sighed. The six males then walked out of the hospital.
“So what have I missed?”
“Not much.” Caramel stated. “Oh, the Johnson's moved out.”
“What? Why?”
“They had a timber wolf skulking around their property and felt that it was too dangerous for lil Mike. Which I kinda get, he’s only six after all.” The Johnson's were the only other humans that lived in Ponyville besides him. He was all alone, again. A firm slap on the shoulder snapped him out of the depressing mood and he quickly threw on a smile.
“So how’re things going with Pinkie, Pierce?” The blue Unicorn ran the local piercing and jewelry shop in town.
“Great. Pinkie is giddy as ever.”
“How you two got together never ceases to amaze me.” Thunder said. “I mean you’re all prim and proper while Pinkie is well...Pinkie.”
“That’s what I like about her.” He said with pride.
“It makes sense that opposites attract.” The yellow stallion said finally speaking up. “Still, you’re from the upper crust of Canterlot while Pinkie grew up on a rock farm.”
“That right Comet?” Caramel stated. “Then what about you and the local Princess eh?”
“Just because Twi grew a set of wings doesn’t mean I’ll change how I feel about her.” He said in a strong tone. “Getting her brother’s approval was a nightmare! I still get postcards from him saying that he’s watching me.” He shivered at the thought of the last one that came all the way from The dragon kingdom. Comet Shooter, Ponyville’s local astronomer had his eyes on Twilight since she moved to Ponyville. At a meteor shower he started discussing stars and found her to be quite knowledgeable. The two started talking more and after Twilight’s mishap with her Smarty Pant’s doll, Comet was there to comfort her and a new relationship had blossomed.
The males arrived at the man’s home. Caramel lingered behind as the other four left. “The boys and I are going to the Bronco at around seven.”
“I’ll see you there. Just wanna get settled back in is all.” The tan stallion nodded and left the man’s front stoop as Connor went inside. He had a standard two story home with two bathrooms, a master bedroom, a guest room and a living room with a fireplace and a manticore skin rug before it. Connor remembers the sheer terror he felt as Fluttershy gave him her infamous stare. Since the portals opened up he bought a years worth of meat and kept it frozen in his meat locker. The man went up to his room and laid down on his bed.
~~~
Nine months earlier.
The six mares sat panting as they looked up at the stone statue of the newly imprisoned god of chaos. Twilight let out a happy sigh as the magic of friendship transformed the once plane of chaos back into the nice sleepy town that she’d come to know and love. A bolt of lightning shot through the evaporating pink clouds and the sky seemed to rip open.
“Now what?” She sighed as she got to her hooves.
“Looks like it’s time for round two.” Applejack said as she adjusted her hat. Rainbow squinted and saw an object flying down from the crack before it closed as quickly as it opened. Twilight summoned her binoculars and saw that it was as big as a house and followed its decent.
“It landed near the Everfree Forest!” Dash said as she flared her wings and took off towards the crash site. The six mares came upon an odd looking building, it was two stories high had white paneling on the side and windows. The six gulped and saw the door swing open to see a tall, bipedal, bald, ape like creature wearing a grey T-shirt and jeans. He quickly walked outside and circled the house. When he got back around the front he dropped to his knees and raised his right fist in a victory.
“Yes! No, red slippers!” The six mares looked at one another in confusion as he stood back up. He turned and froze as he laid eyes on the six mares. A long silence fell between them.
“Um, hello?” Twilight said as Dash got ready to charge.
“What the fuck!?” The man jumped back in surprise and eyed the six strange creatures before him. They looked female, but had what looked like fur on their bodies. Some had wings from their backs or a horns on their heads. The man blinked a few times before sighing in relief. “I get it now, this is all a dream. I must have knocked my head on a table and I’m unconscious on my kitchen floor.” The six mares looked at one another not sure of what to do.
“Um, we’re not a hallucination.” The purple one stated.
“Yeah right.” The creature walked towards Twilight who started to charge her magic. “There’s no way you can be-” The lavender mare’s horn glowed and a small shock hit the man’s arm.“Hey what the hell?” He yelled.
“You acknowledged pain. That proves you’re awake and don’t try to touch me.” She said as she crossed her arms. The creature’s right eyelid twitched as he looked at each of them before stepping back and passing out. The six mares huddled around his unconscious body.
“I think you broke him Twilight.” Pinkie said.
“What should we do?” Rarity asked.
“I say tie him up and interrogate him.” Dash stated.
“No!” All heads turned towards Fluttershy. “It’s a new species! We can’t go scaring him more than he already is!”
“Well, we can’t just leave ‘em here.” The farmer stated as she stood up straight. “Twilight, you might wanna-” The lavender mare just finished writing a letter and wrapping it in purple magic. Since Spike was still recovering from Celestia sending her all her past friendship reports she used a failsafe spell Celestia gave her to use in case her number on assistant was indisposed of. “Never mind.”
~~~
Connor awoke and looked at the clock to read half past six. He dragged himself out of bed and changed into a dark red T-shirt and black jeans. As he put his shirt on he saw the scar he got from the Tirek incident. A large circular scar at the center of his chest, he put a hand over it and bit his lip as he thought back to that day. How his friends were fighting for their lives while he could do nothing, he’d never felt so helpless in his life. He set the feelings aside, grabbed a cane he had in his closet. It was long, black and had a silver raven head on the handle with emeralds for eyes.
Connor walked out of his home and started making his way down Mane Street towards the Bucking Bronco Tavern. As he continued on his way he saw a familiar white earth pony colt with a light brown mane and tail. He was donning a black shirt with a skull crossed with two swords and jeans torn at one knee. He looked to be about twelve and had a brown spot over his left eye.
“Connor!” He said as he ran up and hugged him.
“Hey easy Pip. I’m barely holding together as it is.” He chuckled as he tousled his hair. Since moving to Equestria, Connor had developed a tight bond with a local colt name Pipsqueak. His parents left him at the orphanage when he was three and he was living there ever since. “How’re you doing?”
“Good. Where ye be off to quartermaster?” He said switching to a pirate accent.
“Heading to the Bronco captain. Gonna catch up with Mac and the guys.” He could see the eagerness in the young colt’s eyes. “Wanna come along?”
“Aye! I was gonna meet me new recruits there.” The colt waked with the man down the cobble stone road.
“Oh really now? Who’s the fresh meat Cap?”
“I might get me four new additions. The lasses of Belle, Apple, Featherhoof and a dragon!”
“You mean the Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Spike?”
“The very same!” The two soon came upon the establishment. It looked like a tavern you’d see in The Lord of The Rings Trilogy; hard wooden floors and stools, a roaring fireplace in the center made out of stone and brick. A wooden sign hung out front with a carving of two horseshoes etched into the wood. As Connor opened the door the lights flicked on and several ponies popped up from behind the bar and under the tables.
“Surprise!” The crowd yelled. Connor chuckled and rolled his eyes as he thought of the pink mare that must have thrown this together. Said mare then popped up in front of him with a wide smile on her face.
“Well did we surprise ya?”
“Yes Pinkie, you always surprise me.” With that five other familiar mares, with their stallions on tow approached him. Twilight was next to Comet, Fluttershy with Big Mac, AJ had her arm resting on Caramel’s shoulder, Rarity and Thunderlane’s hands were intertwined with one another, Pinkie had her arms wrapped around Pierce’s neck and finally, Rainbow Dash was beside a light blue Pegasus stallion with a dark blue mane and donning a blue T-shirt with two lighting bolts coming down towards the Wonderbolt insignia.
“Howdy partner.” AJ said as she tipped her hat to the man. “How’s it feel to finally be out of the hospital?”
“Like freedom AJ, like freedom,” Thunder then offered him a glass of the Apple family’s world famous cider. “and for any other circumstance I would down that faster than Dash would pull off a sonic rainboom, alas, I’m on meds and will be for sometime.”
“Sorry, guess I’ll drink for both of us then.” Thunder said as he chugged it.
“Har-har.”
“Well, it certainly looks like you’ve made a full recovery.” The man turned around to see Princess Celestia and Princess Cadence smiling at him. “How are you feeling Connor?”
“I’m well your highnesses.” Celestia chuckled at the words.
“Oh please, you don’t have to be so formal among friends.” Celestia chimed. The man heard another poof noise.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite human.”
Oh crap. Connor slowly turned around to see a creature with dark brown fur, horns sprouting from his head, a set of wings; one was light blue and feathered while the other was webbed like a bat. He had a white goatee and black striped hair that contrasted his red, spliced eyes. A long red scaled tail was coming out of his lower back and he was donning a dark brown vest, red tie with a white collared shirt.
This was the newly reformed god of chaos, Discord. Despite nearly handing over all the magical power to Tirek, who shortly betrayed him afterwards, Celestia still allowed him to roam free so long as he behaves himself. Connor swore he sounded like a character from Star Trek, but let it go.
“Need something Discord?” AJ asked as she crossed her arms.
“What? I can’t just pop in and say hi to my friends?” He asked as he floated in mid air and summoned a glass of chocolate milk.
“You have friends?” Connor asked as he scowled.
“You’re as charming as ever I see.” Discord said in a dry tone.
“Now, let’s not argue.” Cadence said stepping between the two.
“For once we agree on something.” Discord said as he poof’d away. Connor grunted and felt the six mares’ eyes on him.
“Don’t let him get under your skin sugar cube. Discord may have helped Tirek, but he got what he deserved. Besides he’s better now.” She said as she chugged back her drink.
“Yeah, I know.” He sighed as the farmer handed him some normal cider. He then felt something tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Twilight with a small box in her hands.
“We all thought that you deserved a little get well gift.” The lavender mare said.
“Guys, you didn’t need to get me anything.” He sighed.
“Too bad.” Thunder said. “Besides, it took us hours of searching to find this thing.” Connor raised an eyebrow at the words and opened the package to see an old pocket watch with a silver chain. Connor held it in his hands and was speechless as he opened it and saw the same shiny silver surface.
“Caramel found it after we got you to the hospital and forgot he had till two days ago.” Comet said as the tan stallion blushed in embarrassment. Connor weighed it in his hands.
“Was it damaged?”
“The only thing we found on you that wasn’t broken.” Caramel stated as a firm orange fist slammed into his arm. Connor smiled and put it in his pocket.
“Thanks guys, this means a lot.” The group of friends smiled at the kind words. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need my rest. See you all tomorrow.” With that, he left the tavern and made his way back towards his home. Thunder, Comet and Mac all slapped the tan stallion upside the head.
“Hey what was that for?” He rubbed the back of his head.
“‘The only thing we found on you that wasn’t broken.’ Are you an idiot?” Thunder stated. “Don’t answer that, cause I already know the answer.”
“What? It’s true.” Mac face palmed.
“Caramel, if somepony lost a leg do you ask about it?”
“No, that’d...just...be...” The gears finally clicked and he face palmed hard enough to leave a red mark. The group all liked Caramel, but he had an annoying knack for putting his hoof in his mouth. “Oh Celestia I’m an idiot.”
“I’d have to agree with that one.” Celestia said as she shook her head.
Author's Note
In honor of my 600 follower mark. Enjoy.
Chapter 2: My Roommate is Who?
Chapter 2
My Roommate is Who?
Connor groaned as he heard his phone going off. He waited until it stopped ringing and let out a sigh of relief only for it to start ringing again. “Damn it.” He rose from his bed and looked at the device to see Twilight’s name and a book as the picture. He put it to his ear and hit the talk button. “Hello?”
“Finally! Are you free today?”
“Asking me out Twi? Cause Comet is my friend and-” A purple blast of magic went through his window and hit the wall behind him leaving a scorch mark. “You’re paying for that window Sparkle.” He grumbled.
“Hush you.” Her voice was agitated. “I need you over here. It’s important.” Connor looked at the clock and saw it was ten in the morning.
“Fine I’ll be over there around noon.” The mare hung up and the man slipped on his slippers before going to the restroom to drain the main vain. Connor then lazily threw on a pair of jeans and a dark T-shirt before making himself a cup of coffee and grabbing the normal paper that was on the roof outside his bedroom window, courtesy of everyone’s favorite blonde, muffin loving mail mare. The man chuckled at the headline. ‘Royal Princess Sends Prince Blueblood Across Canterlot with One Kick.’ Under the title was a picture of a very irate looking Princess Luna.
The man’s reading was interrupted by frantic knocking at the door. Connor grabbed his cane and walked over to the door to see a nervous looking mare with a cream colored coat, purple and pink striped mane and teal eyes. She was donning a dark blue shirt and pants to match. “Morning Bob-bon.”
“Oh Connor, it’s horrible! Terrible! A catastrophe is about to-” The man put a finger on her lips. Connor liked Bon-bon. She was nice, level headed, had a bit of a temper and made fantastic candy. One of her downsides that she, Rarity and Twilight shared was her ability to over exaggerate a situation.
“Let me guess, Lyra?” She gave a nod. “What’s it this time? Washing machine? Dryer?”
“The oven.” He gulped as he grabbed his tool box.
“Oh god. Let’s move!” The man hobbled his way across Ponyville as fast as his damaged leg could carry him. The candy making mare led him into the kitchen where a light green Unicorn mare was charging her magic. “Stop right there criminal scum!” He said as he pointed his cane at her in a dramatic fashion. Lyra turned to see the human and froze. “Put the screw driver down before you blow us all the way back to Earth.”
“I can fix it! I-” Bon-bon grabbed the newspaper she had been reading before fetching the human, rolled it up and lightly tapped her mare-friend on the nose.
“No.”
“But I-” Another tap was delivered.
“No.” As Lyra opened her mouth to speak the cream mare raised her ink covered weapon of current events. The Unicorn backed off without a fight. All hail the newspaper! It’s powers can tame even the most wildest of creatures. Connor walked over to the stove. Had it been alive it would have been cowering in the corner like a frightened puppy.
“Now calmly tell me what’s wrong?”
“The light is busted! I think a fuse blew or-”
“Or you just need a new bulb.” Connor reached inside and unscrewed the light giving glass and shook it. He heard faint rattles and nodded. “Just head to the store and pick up the same type of bulb. Bon-bon, you screw it in.”
“Aye sir!” She chuckled as she saluted. Much like Dr.House, he grabbed his bag and cane before making his way out of their home. The morning sun was a blessing on his fair skin. Due to his injuries, he’d been cooped up for most of the summer and the leaves were starting to change color.
Since I’m already up, might as well go see what Twi wants. He quickly trudged towards the sparking castle as he made his way through the small town. Since it’s erection, ponies have come from all over to see the new castle and Princess. Thankfully Twilight installed a secret back door for her friends and colt-friend to sneak in and out of. Connor circled around the side and found the handle.
With a sharp pull the wall slid down and a stairway led up into the castle. When he arrived on the main floor, he saw Spike up and about doing his chores. “Hey Spike.” The teenage drake noticed him and waved. “Know where Twilight is?”
“I think she’s in her room reading.”
Typical. He sighed as he left his bag in the lounge area. He climbed the steps to the second level and started looking in the different rooms. He hadn’t been to the new castle since he got out of the hospital. He soon came upon a door with a purple crown on it. As he was about to knock when he heard a muffled cry from the other side of the door. He gave a small knock and waited.
“Twi? You in there?” He was about to knock again, until he heard a yelp. Fearing the worst he gripped the handle and found it unlocked. When he stepped inside he froze. There was Comet strapped to what looked like two criss crossing two by fours by his hooves and wrists. Twilight had her legs wrapped around his mid section and her arms around behind his neck. The lavender mare seemed to have on a leather corset that ended just below her chest. Twilight let out a high pitched moan that was being muffled by a red ball gag over her mouth.
The mare’s eyes dilated and her tail curled around her lover’s leg and let out one more moan before her body fell limp. Connor’s right eye twitched and his jaw was agape, he’d just watch Twilight Sparkle, the new Princess of Equestria get her rocks off in some strange torture rape scene.
“Um, Twilight.” Comet’s voice snapped Connor out of the daze along with Twilight. She turned her head and her face went from stark red to pale in an instant. Her right eyelid twitched and pieces of her hair started to smolder. The gag in her mouth turned to molten plastic as her fur went white and her hair became an inferno of pure rage.
“Twilight I’m so-” Was all he got out before he narrowly dodged a fireball. Connor looked over to Comet who mouthed the wisest words he’d ever heard; ‘Run.’
“GET OUT!” Like Rainbow Dash at a fashion expo, the human made himself scarce as he slammed the door shut. Well, that was a wake up call. He quickly made his way back towards the staircase. As he reached the top a familiar white furred Alicorn rose from the bottom.
“Oh Connor you’re already here. Have you seen Twilight?”
“More than I’d like to see.” He said as he pointed down the hallway. Celestia went down the hallway toward the door he just exited. Connor’s common sense kicked in and turned. “No Princess, wait don’t-”
“Twilight are you- oh dear.”
“PRINCESS!?” With a slam of the door Celestia turned back towards the man with crimson cheeks. Celestia looked at Connor who just gave a simple nod.
“I need all the bleach.” Connor said as he made his way downstairs.
“Get a second glass if you would be so kind.” The Princess said as she followed the human.
~~~
Connor and Celestia waited in the meeting room where six chairs sat around a large table. Silence enveloped the two and didn’t seem to be breaking anytime soon. The double doors slammed open showing a still red faced Twilight and a very embarrassed Comet. Twilight took a seat across from her mentor not daring to make eye contact. The room was silent for five minuted before Celestia stood up.
“Okay, we’re all adults here. Mature and well behaved adults. Therefore I say that we never, ever mention what occurred ten minutes ago.”
“What occurred ten minutes ago?” Connor stated as he looked at Twilight and Comet. “Either of you two know what she’s talking about?”
“Nope.” Twi said.
“No idea.”
“Good.” Connor stated. “Now, why did you call me down here Twi?” Twilight’s horn glowed and the paper that Connor didn’t get to finish reading appeared before them.
“Have you read todays paper?”
“I started to, but I was interrupted by a certain lyre player trying to play mechanic.”
“Toaster?” Comet asked.
“Worse, oven.”
“You did fix it for Lyra right?”
“Well, seeing as how Ponyville isn’t a crater big enough to store a five star hotel in, yes, I fixed it.” The two let out a sigh of relief. Celestia cleared her throat. “So what about the paper?” Twilight slid it over to the man and he laughed. “Nice to see Blueblood get taken down a notch.” Comet came over and chuckled.
“Serves the prick right. No offense Princess.” He high five’d the human.
“Oh trust me, none taken. It was quite the treat.” She giggled as she remembered the look on the Prince’s face as he flew over ninety feet in the air. “However, we were meeting with some representatives from the griffin and dragon kingdom. Along with some ambassadors from earth. Luna’s little outburst caused some concern. Therefore I suggested that she,” she looked over to Connor. “how you human’s say, ‘lay low.’”
“Okay, so what does this have to do with me?” Twilight bit her lip.
“I was hoping that she could stay in Ponyville, it’s a small town, away from the capital and very friendly.” Connor raised an eyebrow. “This isn’t just about her laying low.” Celestia said. “I’m hoping to keep this private, but Luna has been acting more distant as of late.” The mortals looked at one another in shock. “She’s barely talking to anyone and has been spending all of her time on that stupid Y-sphere 720.” Connor face palmed.
“Xbox 360?”
“That’s the one. Along with that Game station.” He face palmed even harder.
“Playstation.”
“You know of it?” Connor chuckled at the question.
“Princess, I’m twenty-six, the only human in town and I’ve been playing video games since I learned how to read.” Celestia smiled at the words. “But there’s one problem with your plan Celestia,” He pointed to Twilight. “ever since our favorite librarian got the royal upgrade ponies have flocked to this sleepy little town just to catch a glimpse of her. I figure that Luna’s nocturnal, but ponies will be buzzing about this place like moths drawn to a flame.”
“Which is why she won’t be staying here.” Twilight stated.
“Then where?”
“We were hoping with you.” Connor looked at the Princesses in shock.
“With me?” He pointed to himself as they nodded. Connor sat back down and took several breaths. Okay calm down Connor. Don’t panic. You just got asked to be Princess Luna’s roommate. “Quick question, why me?”
“Well, you live alone and you’re both gamers. We figured that you’d have some common ground. More so than with any of us.” Comet stated.
“She’s a thousand years old, beside she’s royalty while I’m not even from this planet. To top it off I don’t even know her. I saw her at the last Nightmare Night, after the Changeling invasion and at Twi’s coronation, but other than that I know nothing about her.”
“Then you get a new friend. Sounds like a good deal.” Connor ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t know about this Twilight.” Twilight then gave him the puppy dog eyes.
“Please!?” Connor still held the same stern expression.
“The only pony who can use that on me is Fluttershy. Your’s isn’t perfected.” The white Alicorn then smirked as she thought of an idea.
“Do it because you owe me.” Celestia said with a grin.
“Huh?”
“The crown is covering your medical bills, consider this as a collateral.” Connor’s right eye twitched. “Your and Luna’s bills, aside from basic utilities such as electric, pluming and the residential task will also be covered. You’ll be exempt from federal tax, but not local.” Connor was beside himself. He estimated that it would take him years to work off the medical debt his surgery cost him, but here the Princess is offering to cover it.
“And if I refuse then you won’t?”
“The tax bit anyway. The medical is a gift for your role in Tirek’s imprisonment.” The man furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms.
“I didn’t do a bloody thing. Just got my ass kicked.” He gripped his right arm in frustration. He looked at the ponies and let out a sigh. “I’ll do it.”
“Yes!” Twilight said.
“When is she moving in?”
“Um, today?” Connor looked at her in surprise.
Okay, now you can freak out.
“Think you could have brought this up a little earlier!?” He yelled. “I’ve been out of the house for over three months. Theres a layer of dust abut an inch thick on every surface of my house and now you drop that royalty is going to be staying with me!?” He took a deep breath and sighed. “Sorry, I take back that outburst.”
“I know this is short notice and we were gonna bring it up yesterday, but you took off before we could.” Twilight said with a guilty smile.
“So when is she supposed to show up?” Celestia looked at her watch.
“In three, two, one.” A sudden burst of magic appeared next to Celestia. After the smoke cleared, Connor’s eyes shrank. There standing at just a little taller than him was a midnight blue Alicorn mare with a flowing mane and tail that looked like the night sky. She was donning a beautiful light blue sundress that flowed in the wind. What caught his attention most was her eyes, a light blue that looked like an ice storm in the harshest winter. So cold, so powerful so...lonely.
“Twilight, I take back the take back.” With a shake of his head he brought his mind back to reality.
“Luna, good morning.” Celestia chimed.
“Meh.” She said in a tired tone.
“Night court?”
“Don’t even get me started.” She rubbed her temples. Her eyes then fell on the human. “So he shall be the one housing me?” Connor got to his feet and walked over to her with a smile on his face.
“Yes, your majesty. My names Connor Rowe, we met a few times in the past.” Luna thought for a moment and recognized the man.
“Ah yes, weren’t you injured during Tirek’s assault?” He winced at the monster’s name.
“Yeah, just got out yesterday.” His brain then jerked as he remembered something. “Wait a second, there’s a problem that needs addressing.”
“What?” Twilight asked.
“I get enough weird looks from ponies in town, the last thing I need is the press camping outside my doorstep.” He said in a serious tone.
“We will be wearing this.” Luna’s horn glowed and a silver bracelet with a sapphire as big as a quarter in the center.
“How’s that supposed to-” Luna slipped it on her right wrist and a bright light emanated from the jewel. The mare’s color shifted to a light blue, her mane lost it’s starry look but remained the same color. Her wings also vanished from her back making her look like a normal Unicorn mare, well about as normal you can get in this world. “Never mind. So what am I supposed to call you? If ponies hear me calling you Luna or Princess then they’re gonna get suspicious.”
“Go with Azure Star, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to go incognito.” She smiled as her eyes locked with the man’s. Connor felt his face flush as he looked into the deep sapphire pools.
Damn those blue eyes! Wait she’s not psychic right?
Yeah a bit.
Damn it! Luna chuckled at the man. Celestia walked over to them and smiled.
“I can see you two are getting along already.” She looked at her watch and her eyes shrank. “Apologies, but I must return to Canterlot. Have fun Lulu.”
“Tia!” She said with blushing cheeks.
“Lulu?” Connor chuckled. Her icy stare halted the man’s laughter. With a flash of yellow light, the sun goddess vanished from sight. Twilight then walked up to the two.
“Okay then,” She turned to Luna. “if anypony asks you’re my pen-pal from Vanhoover, got it?”
“Pen pal?” Luna asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I’ll explain later.” Connor then noticed a regular sized suitcase next with stars decorating it. “Is that all?” This might not be so bad after all. Luna had a nervous smile and with a snapped her fingers, five large chests appeared before the man. The chests looked like they could give Rarity’s suitcases she uses for fashion shows a run for their money. Me and my big mouth. Should have figured, she is a Princess after all.
What is that supposed to mean!?
Never mind!
That’s better. She smiled.
“This is gonna be a very long day.” He muttered under his breath. “What if I run into problems?”
“Just come to me, or Applejack.” Twilight said.
“Why AJ?”
“She is the only other pony in town who knows about this.” Connor face palmed.
“Are you nuts!? You told Applejack? The same Applejack who can’t tell a lie to save her skin?”
“She’d figure it out eventually.” Comet defended. The man groaned and took a deep breath.
“Okay fine, so long as Pinkie or Rarity don’t know we have nothing to worry about.”
“Why would we worry about Laughter and Generosity?” Luna asked. “They both seem nice.”
“Very true, but Pinkie practically blurts big news to the entire town like it’s her job and Rarity loves to gossip.” Twilight stated.
“Ah, we understand now.” Luna said as she made her large luggage vanish. “Shall we go?”
“Right this way.” Connor said as he walked the Princess towards the front door. “Oh and Twi, Comet.” They both perked up at the mention of their names. “If you have wrist burns from the cuffs, Goldbond does wonders for it.” He quickly made himself scarce as Twilight shot several bolts of purple magic at him. Luna met him back outside with a confused look on her face.
“Cuffs?”
“You don’t want to know. Well let’s get you settled then.” He chuckled. A thought came to him and he looked at the disguised Princess. “Oh quick question, what’s your opinion on dogs?”
Chapter 3
Moving In
The two made their way through the small town of Ponyville as the sun shined in the middle of the sky. As they were walking, Connor noticed that several ponies were staring at them. Mostly stallions gawking at the new mare in town and who could blame them? She was gorgeous! A familiar dark furred Pegasus stallion with white mohawk zoomed down from the sky above and landed in front of the pair. “Morning Thunder.” The human said with a nod.
“Hey man how are you-” He was cut off as he noticed the mare beside him. His tongue dried up in his mouth and was using every bit of self control he had to keep his wings from rising. “Who is this?”
“Oh this is Twi’s pen-pal from Vanhoover.” He said gesturing to Luna.
“Good day, I am Azure Star.” She shook his hand.
“Very nice to meet you.” He grinned.
“Ahem.” The voice made him freeze. As he looked over his shoulder he saw the purple maned Unicorn with a raised eyebrow. “Thunder dear, what are you doing?”
“Oh h-hey honey.” He gulped as Rarity’s bright blue eyes of death. “I was just saying hi to..um.” His mare-friends blue eyes of death were making him freeze up out of sheer terror.
“My new roommate.” Connor said saving the Pegasus from a beating. Both ponies looked at the human and the Princess.
“Seriously?” They both said in unison.
“Correct.” Luna stated cheerfully. Thunder took Connor aside as Rarity started talking with the mare.
“Dude! Score!” The Pegasus said as he held up a fist.
“It’s not like that you horn dog. I’m just doing Twilight a favor.”
“Maybe she can do you some favors?” He waggled his eyebrows. Connor rolled his eyes at the words as Rarity and Luna walked over to him.
“Dear, why didn’t you tell me you were getting a roommate?” Rarity asked looking at Connor.
“It was really last minute.” Luna interjected. Rarity looked at her watch and gasped.
“I’m terribly sorry that we’ll have to cut this short,” She wrapped her arms around Thunderlane’s. “but we’re meeting my parents today.” She squeed.
“Yay.” Thunder said in a dead panned tone. Rarity gave him a light slap on the arm. “Catch you later man.” Connor nodded and the two ventured towards the human’s abode.
“Who was that stallion walking with Rarity?” Luna asked.
“That’s Thunderlane. He took over Rainbow Dash’s position as weather manager when she became a Wonderbolt.” He began. “He and Rarity got together after he saved her from falling off the Wonderbolt Academy’s testing grounds when another trainee caused their hot air balloon to lose control.” Luna nodded at the words.
The two continued along in silence until they reached the man’s home. “Here we are.” Connor opened the door and led her inside. Luna started looking around the man’s abode. Her eyes immediately boggled at the large flat screen television and the assortment of game consoles. along with games. “Okay Luna I’ll show you to your room.” The Princess nodded and followed the man upstairs into a hallway where three doors were.
Connor walked towards the one on the left and opened it to reveal an average sized room with a Queen sized bed, a closet and dresser. “I’ll get you some clean sheets and-” Luna snapped her fingers and dark blue sheets quickly covered the mattress and two pillows fell atop the bed. “never mind. You can put your stuff wherever, then I’ll give you the tour.” Luna nodded and walked inside to examine her new living space.
As expected it was far smaller than her room back at the palace, granted her room could easily be used to host one of Pinkie Pie’s parties. There was a large oval mirror above the dresser that had a layer of dust over it. “Apologies, I haven’t cleaned it in a while.”
“It’s quite all right. You were injured and needed to recover.” Her tone was like a stagnant pond. “I’ll unpack after I get better acquainted with your home.” She said as she stepped out of the room. Conner showed her to his room and the upstairs bathroom. Next was the living room where the man’s game collection was, along with his movies. In front of the entertainment center was a large couch that could hold six people.
Next was the kitchen, the floor was tiled and the counter was made of granite. An island table was in the middle of the room with a few lights hanging over it. The dining room was next to that, Connor only used that for fancy meals like dinner parties or guests. There was an old table made from a red maple wood. “So,” Luna said finally perking up. “do you live here all by yourself?”
“Yeah, except Nero.”
“Who?” The realization dawned on him and he face palmed.
“Damn it! I almost forgot I gotta pick him up from Fluttershy’s today.” He stopped and turned to Luna. “Look, I gotta do something real quick, but I’ll be back in a bit okay?”
“Fine, I’ll unpack and get settle I suppose.” She adverted her eyes and Connor felt a pang of guilt sound within him. Here was a mare who’d literally been ordered away from her home in order to make some friends and now he was ditching her. “Mind if I play on your console?”
“Yeah sure, feel free.” He said as he grabbed a leash off the coat rack. “I’ll be right back and I won’t bail on ya again okay? I promise.” Luna gave a smile at the words as he closed the door behind him.
Don’t make a mare a promise, if you know you can’t keep it. Connor froze as he heard the words echo through his mind.
I aways keep my promises. He thought with gusto. With that Connor made his way towards Fluttershy’s home.
~~~
After getting settled, Luna plopped herself down on the couch and turned to the man’s Xbox 360. Luna had brought her own that had a dark blue shell with a crescent moon over the power button. She looked through the man’s game collection and selected ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops.’ She found herself partial to the assault rifles and had just called in her attack dogs.
“Huzzah! Releases the hounds!” She yelled over the mic. She heard the dogs of war barking waiting to sink their teeth into virtual flesh. Her ear turned as she heard the sound getting louder and louder. The door flung open and Luna turned her head to see a mass of fur leap at her and pin her to the couch. Her mind rushed as she imagined the beast ripping her throat out. She then felt something wet drag across her face.
“Nero, down.” Luna looked to see the man standing in the doorway. Sitting next to him was a large wolf-like dog, it’s face, paws, inner ears and chest was snow white while it’s fur and areas around it’s icy blue eyes were jet black. The dog was sitting, wagging it’s tail and panting with what Luna could only imagine a grin on it’s face. Luna wiped the slobber off her fur and stood up. “Sorry about that.” Connor said as he scratched his head.
“Is that a wolf?” Luna got to her hooves and approached the animal.
“Nah, this is Nero. He’s a Siberian Husky, looks kinda like a wolf, but he’s not. Say hello boy.” The dog let out a bark as the human pet his head. “Just let him sniff ya so he get’s your scent.”
“He won’t bite me will he?”
“So long as you don’t try to take his bones, no. Might wanna drop your illusion so he knows it’s you when you’re around here.” Luna removed the bracelet and the dog jumped back in surprise as the transformation and started barking. The Princess extended her hand and the hound eagerly sniffed her. When the trial of the nose was done the dog quickly started looking around it’s home.
“He seems well behaved.” Luna stated as she sat back down on the couch.
“Oh yeah, Nero loves company.” He said as the dog went over and laid in his bed. Connor then saw the screen. “Black Ops?”
“Yes, I have never played it and it seemed good.” She said returning her attention to the main menu.
“Not the best, but not the worst. I’m more of a Halo person myself.”
“Halo?” Connor slowly turned his head towards the Princess.
“You’re kidding. You’re kidding right?” Luna frowned at the words. “Never mind. Halo, in my personal opinion, is one of the best FPS games out there.” Luna raised an eyebrow at the words.Connor looked at the clock and saw it was around dinner time. “I don’t really have anything prepared. Wanna eat out?”
“Sure, it has been sometime since we’ve been to Sugar Cube Corner.” The Princess slipped the bracelet back on her wrist and Connor grabbed his wallet. As the two made their way down mane street an awkward silence fell between the two. Connor tried to think of something for them to talk about, but what did he really have in common with a thousand year old Princess that raised the moon every night. Luna was the first to break the silence. “So, how did you procure your companion?”
“Nero? About two years ago, before I came here I was walking along the road at midnight.”
“Why so late?” Connor shrugged.
“Night air helps clear my head. Anyway, on my way back I find this box just laying on the side of the road. It looked like a normal box, only it was moving and making noises.” Luna raised an eyebrow at the words. “I opened it up and I see a six month old puppy left out in the elements. Poor guy was cold so I brought him to a nearby animal shelter where they fed him and gave him shots. No one came by to claim him, he needed a home and I always wanted a dog. So I killed three birds with one stone.”
“Poor birds.” Luna giggled. Damn her giggle was adorable. “Well that was certainly nice of you. I can’t imagine why anyone would do such a thing.”
You’d be surprised.
Why?
Gah! Don’t do that! I’m not use to having someone else in my head. With another chuckle the two arrived at the establishment and walked inside. Luna felt it was rather odd to go into a building with it’s lights turned off. Said lights suddenly turned on revealing several ponies crammed inside the establishment.
“Surprise!” The crowd roared as Luna looked at them in astonishment.
“Pray tell, what is this for?” She asked as a familiar pink blur zoomed in front of them.
“It’s your ‘Welcome to Ponyville Party!’” Pinkie chimed. “IsawRarityearlierandshesaid
“I think she gets the idea Pinkie.” He let her hand go and Pinkie squinted at the blue Unicorn.
“Have we met before? You look familiar.” Connor’s blood ran cold as he gulped.
Oh no, don’t tell me her Pinkie Sense can see through her illusion.
Pinkie what?
Pinkie gets these little twitches when something weird happens.
How does-
It’s Pinkie Pie. Don’t question it.
“Hey!” The pink mare’s voice brought the two back from their conversation. “Are you two talking without talking?” Connor shook his head. Luna took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts.
“I assure you Ms. Pie, you and I have never met. Twilight Sparkle has probably told you about me so I just seem familiar to you.” Pinkie put her finger to her chin and thought hard.
No way is this going to work.
At least we are doing something!
“I guess that makes sense.”
Oh come on!
Ha ha! Connor shot the smirking mare a dark look.
“At first I thought that she was Princess Luna and she was here because of that mishap in the paper this morning and she’d be staying here which would be so awesome!” Luna stood frozen as her right eyelid twitched. “Well, I’m off to find Pokey! Enjoy the party.”
You were saying your majesty?
Quiet you. The two entered the party and started to mingle. A strong arm grabbed the man and sat him down in one of the booths. Connor looked to see Caramel, Mac and the other four stallions with blank expressions on their faces.
“Connor,” Caramel started. “Thunderlane here tells us that the new girl in town is your roommate. This true?” Only Mac and Comet hung back from the discussion.
“Um yes?”
“You are the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on the planet you know that!?” Soarin said. “Look at her man.” Soarin eyed her trough a box he made with his two pointer fingers and thumbs. “She’s hot! Right Mac? Comet?”
“Ah’ll admit, she’s easy on the eyes,” The hulking red stallion stated. “but Shy’s prettier.”
“Likewise, only with Twi.” The four stallions gasped.
“It’s finally happened.” Thunder said. “You’ve both become whipped.”
“I’m not whipped!” Comet said.
“That’s not what it looked like this morning.” Connor said in a tone only the yellow Unicorn could hear making his face turn bright red. “Anyway, she just moved in and I don’t really know anything about her.”
“She’s hot. What more do you need?” Soarin stated. Connor rolled his eyes at the words.
“Seriously man, I don’t get you.” Thunder said catching his attention. “You’ve been here for a year and you’ve never gone out with anypony. What gives? You could have any mare in here, minus six elements of harmony, and yet you don’t make a move. I’m forced to ask this, is it a species thing or are you into guys?” Connor rubbed his eyes and groaned.
“No, I’m not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that. If you asked me about interspecies relationships a year ago then I’d have issues, but now that I’ve grown more accustomed to Equestria, I will admit that certain mares are attractive from a physical point of view and would be dating material. I choose not to date purely because the mares that show interest in me could give two shits about me as a person and only want to see how human males stack up against stallions in the sack.”
“And, that’s bad?” Soarin said as he raised an eyebrow. With him being a celebrity, the Wonderbolt has had his fair share of one night stands before starting a relationship with everyones local rainbow haired hot head.
“Sorry, but I call bullshit.” All heads turned towards Caramel. “Dating AJ these past couple of months rubs off on ya and you learn how to spot when somepony’s not letting on all the facts.” He leaned in on the human. “So what’s the other reason you’re not dating?”
“C’mon leave the feller alone.” Mac said coming to the human’s rescue. “If he don’t wanna talk about it then he don’t gotta. What are we, mares?” The group shared a chuckle as the stallions’ significant others appeared and picked them off one by one. Connor looked at his cup of cider and sighed as the disguised Princess sat down next to him.
“Hey, enjoying the party?”
“Indeed. Tis a merry gathering.” Connor chuckled. “What?”
“‘Tis a merry gathering?’ Seriously?”
“Are thou insulting the traditional way of speaking?” She frowned at the man.
“All I’m saying is ponies are gonna start asking questions if you start speaking in ancientDaww she’s blushing!
We most certainly are not!
Damn it! Again with the mind reading. Okay, we need to talk about this whole psychic thing tomorrow morning.
Do not make fun of our speech!
I wasn’t! I was just trying to help you blend in more! Besides, it’s adorable. Both their faces flushed red and Luna crossed her arms. “Okay fine I’ll stop teasing.” Connor checked his pocket watch and sighed. “Look it’s been a long day for both of us. I say we head back and we’ll talk tomorrow with cooler heads.” Luna put her hand on her head and then on the man’s causing him to blush. “What are you doing?”
“I believe both are head are of normal temperature.” Connor groaned.
“It’s just-” He was cut off as he heard the same cute giggle.
“I’m just pushing your arm.”
“Pulling my leg.” With that, the two said goodbye and made their way back to the house. Luna noticed the cane the man was using.
“How bad is your leg?”
“Not too bad. I’m only using it for a week so Red Heart won’t bite my head off about not staying off it.”
“How bad were your injuries?” Connor shot her a dark look. “Sorry.”
“Let’s just get to bed.” He said as he walked into his home. Connor made his way into his room and changed into a black wife beater and gym shorts. As he laid down to sleep the husky lumped up on the foot of his bed and curled up in a ball.
~~~
Across the sleeping town of Ponyville stood the residential apple farm owned by Applejack and Big Macintosh. There were lights on in the barn and the six stallions stood before an alter where a fez wearing Thunderlane stood. The other five stallions were also wearing the red hat with a tassel. Why fezzes? Because fezzes are cool.
“Order! I call this meeting of the Ponyville Stallion Society to order.” Thunderlane said as he used a wooden mallet as a make-shift gavel. “Gents, we have a crisis on our hands.” The stallion’s looked at one another in confusion. “According to our intelligence, our comrade, Connor Rowe has not had a sexual experience since arriving in this fair country. I therefore motion that we remedy this post haste.”
“How?” Caramel stated.
“It involves buckling our bootstraps, getting our hands dirty and doing a little plowing of our own.” The five stallions looked at one another with nervous looks in their eyes. “Not gay sex.” The five all let out sighs of relief.
“I was about to call Rarity and say that her likeness of stallions was rubbing off on you.” Comet stated. Thunder rolled his eyes.
“I’m saying we help our friend get some sweet, sweet loving.” The group thought about it.
“Ah have to object.” Mac said raising his hand. “We got no right meddling in our friend’s love life. He’ll find his own way.”
“How many times has Connor saved us when it came to romance? Forgotten birthdays, anniversaries and the like?” The stallions all remembered how he’d managed to bail them out of tight situations with their mare-friends. “We owe him a lot. This way we can pay him back.” Mac scratched his chin as he thought about the option. “All we’re gonna do is give him a little push.”
“More like a shove.” Pierce stated. “You know Connor doesn’t like sharing personal information with us.” The stallion had a point. Since the human had started hanging out with the stallions, they still knew almost nothing about his life before Equestria. They knew small things like the name of his high school and previous occupations, but nothing concrete like family or past lovers. He’d always say, ‘I don’t want to bore you with things like that’ or change the topic.
“Ah say we put it to a vote.” Mac said.
“Fine. All in favor of helping our friend get laid, say aye.”
“Aye.” Caramel, Soarin, Comet and Thunderlane said.
“All those against?” Mac and Pierce knew it was pointless but raised their hands anyway. “Vote stand four to two and the motion passes. Meeting adjourned.” The Pegasus said as he slammed the mallet on the podium.
Chapter 4: Doubts and Shopping
Chapter 4
Doubts and Shopping
Connor felt pain, a slow numbing pain through his body and muffled voices. His vision was blurry and could barely make out the beeping of the heart monitor. The vices became clearer and recognized the voices of the six mares, stallions and Nurse Red Heart. “We’ve kept him in the coma for over a month.” Red Heart stated.
“How far did he fall?”
“About three kilometers.” Thunder stated.
“By Celestia’s beard.” Pierce stated. Connor blinked a few times and his vision was getting better.
“He doesn’t look too good.” Caramel said.
“Yet, I’m sure that I still look better than you.” All head turned towards the hospital bed to see the man coughing.
“No fucking way!” Dash said as she and the ponies crowded around him.
“Back off all of you!” Red Heart ordered as a Unicorn stallion with a white coat barged into the room. “Give him some space!” The doctor’s horn ignited and scanned the man from head to toe.
“How are you feeling Mr. Rowe?” Connor tried to move but his body wouldn’t obey his commands. His eyes shrank and he feared the worst.
“Doc, why can’t I feel my arms or, or anything for that matter?”
“We had to use a paralysis spell on you so we could operate and so the healing spells would take effect.” He stated. “Your wounds haven’t healed yet so it’ll be sometime before you can move.” Connor let out a sigh of relief at the words. The man heard sniffling and saw the six mares wiping tears away.
“Did I miss something? What happened to Tirek?”
“He’s back in his cage.” Twilight stated. “We’re just happy that you’re okay.” With that the pink mare wrapped him in a bone crushing hug. Connor was being suffocated by the pink mare’s breast as she hugged him harder.
“Pinkie...can’t...breathe!” Applejack pried the party mare off of him and took in enough air to fill a tire. “Thank you...Applejack.”
“Pinkie the poor fella just woke up from a coma and now yer try’n to kill him.”
“Oops, sorry about that Connor.” He nodded at the pink mare.
“So when am I getting out of this joint doc?”
“Not for a long while I’m afraid.” Connor groaned. “Your spine is still in pieces and you’ve got severe bruising throughout your body. It’s nothing less than a miracle that your brain is intact. Somepony up there must like you.”
Jesus, how bad was I hurt?
“For now, just try to get some rest,” he then turned to the group. “and visiting hours are up.” The girls said their goodbyes and the nurse checked the chart one more time before leaving the man alone in the room. Connor stared back at the ceiling of the hospital room and silently cursed himself.
~~~
The man’s eyes shot open and he felt cold sweat on his body. He stood up and walked into the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face. He shook his head and groaned as he looked at the bags under his eyes. Haven’t had that dream in a while. He quickly pushed the thoughts out of his mind and made his way downstairs.
The human opened the fridge and found next to nothing. Right I forgot to go shopping yesterday. He checked the milk in the fridge and found that it was not spoiled. He grabbed a bowl and found a box of ‘Lunapuffs.’ Sure they were a kid’s cereal, but they were good.
After he had brewed some coffee, one of the few things that didn’t go bad, he sat down and started looking through the paper. A few hoof steps coming down the steps caught his attention. The man’s eyes widened as he saw the Princess of the night wearing a tight fitting black T-shirt that was low cut at the top and was cut off just above her belly button. The Princess opted for a pair of short shorts that showed off her amazing ass. Connor was using all his mental power to avoid staring when she bent over to look for the milk. “It’s already out.” He said not looking back.
Luna closed the fridge and levitated a bowl, coffee mug with a spoon over to the table across from the man. Once again, his restraint was tested as her shirt showed a good portion of her cleavage. Do not look ahead. Do not look ahead!
Do I have something on my face? An all to familiar voice rang out in his mind.
“Jesus!” He said in surprise.
“No, I am Luna.” Connor face palmed.
“Okay, we need to lay down some ground rules while you’re staying here okay? Number one; Don’t go into my head without permission, it’s a huge invasion of privacy. If you want to psychic chat then let me know.”
“How?” Connor scratched his head and thought for a moment.
“I got it.” He grabbed his earlobe and tugged it lightly. “When I do that then you’re allowed to do the psychic thing.”
“What about me?”
“Rub your ear or something.”
“Pardon?” Connor reached over and rubbed the tip of her right ear. This caused Luna’s face to blush and her wing to spring up like wound up jack in a box. She growled at the man and stuck him to the ceiling with her magic.
“What the hell!?”
“Touch our ears again and though shall know the wrath of the night!” She said as her face was blushing profusely.
“Fine! Just put me down!” Luna’s horn glowed and set the human back on his feet. “Fine so just rub your own ear when you want to do the psychic thing. Okay?”
“Very well.” She said in a cold tone.
“Number two; and this is gonna be personal, do you have a boy friend or girl friend?” Luna scowled at him. “I’m just asking so I don’t accidentally walk in on anything I can’t un-see.” I’ve gone through that enough already.
How so?
“What did we just talk about?” She threw on a sheepish grin while making a squee noise that Twilight and the other mares can do to add to their cuteness factor. Seriously, how do they do that?
“Sorry, and to answer you question, no, I do not have a special somepony.” Her words had a hint of sadness to them and Connor felt a bit guilty at the question.
Nice one idiot. You just made her depressed. Say something to cheer her up!
“That’s surprising.”
“Hm?”
“That you don’t have somepony I figured that the line of ponies wanting to date a Princess of Equestria would be a mile long.” Luna stared at the man and a small blush came to her face. She quickly hid it and cleared her throat.
“Thank you. So what are our plans for today?”
Our plans? Well, I guess I could use some help shopping.
“I need to run to the super market for food. Then play the day by ear I guess.” With that The tow went to their rooms to get changed. Connor selected a standard red shirt and blue pants. He grabbed his wallet and his cane. He hated using the thing, but would rather suck it up than suffer the wrath of an overworked, underpaid nurse with hair trigger anger.
The two walked out of the house and headed towards the supermarket at the far end of town. The shopping center was fairly large and had everything the eligible bachelor needed to keep himself fed. They walked into the store and grabbed a cart and started walking down the isles and putting things in the basket. The two had not talked since they’d left the house and the awkwardness was rising. “So do you have any food allergies?”
Kill me now.
“No, none that I know of.”
“Good wouldn’t want you to die on day two now would we?” Luna just raised an eyebrow at the words.
“Are thou okay? You seem nervous.”
“Me nervous?” He let out a face chuckle. “No, I’m fine. I’m,” His eyes started to wander around the aisle looking for something to compare himself to. He settled on a jar of green vegetables at the far end. “cool as a cucumber.” The amount of internal face palms he was giving himself were astronomical. Luna giggled at the words and looked at the jar.
“I believe that these are pickles.” If face palms were a currency then Connor would be richer than Blueblood.
Universe, I beg you, make something, anything happen to get her to lighten up. Except-
“Hey quartermaster!” A young voice rang out. Connor turned around to see Pip with a smile on his face.
Damn it! Connor could easily imagine the commotion the colt would cause if he found out that the human was living with Princess Luna. The young colt walked up to him and saw the disguised Princess.
“Who’s the lass?” He said in a pirate accent. Luna put the box of cereal back and saw the small colt. A wide smile spread across her face.
“Well, if it isn’t our favorite little sub-” Connor gave a sharp tug on her tail and pulled his ear. Luna’s face was beet red and glared daggers into him.
He doesn’t know it’s you Luna and if he does find out then we’re dead!
Fine, but we shall get you back for pulling the royal tail!Connor noticed the bright blush on her cheeks.
“Favorite what, and who ye be lass?” Luna couldn’t help but giggle at the words.
“I was referring to,” She looked into the shopping basket and grabbed the first thing she could reach. She grabbed a bundle of bananas and held them up. “my favorite banana brand.” Connor was stifling his laughter earning him another death glare from the Princess.
“She’s my new roommate Pip.” The colt looked at him in surprise.
“Ye been recruiting without the captain’s permission? Mutiny!” Luna crouched down and smiled.
“I assure you captain that I shall do no such thing.” Pip raised an eyebrow, but let it go.
“What brings you here Pip?” Connor asked.
“Just looking around.”
“Well, why don’t you pick out a box a candy?” Connor stated.
“Really!?” Connor gave a nod at the words and watched the child run down the tiled floors.
“Whew, we dodged a-” He was cut off as he felt a sharp stinging in his rump. He grabbed his butt and silently cursed in pain. Jesus Christ that hurt!
Let that serve as a reminder not to pull the royal tail! Right, how could he forget the fact that everypony’s tail could be used as a makeshift whip? He learned that lesson the hard way when he accidentally did the same to AJ, yet for some reason she let out a soft moan when he did it to her. Luna’s wasn’t as bad as that first encounter because he doubts that Luna can use it as a substitute, close range lasso.
“You know little Pipsqueak?” Luna said as she and Connor went down the hallway.
“Yeah, we hang out sometimes.”
“You hangout with small children?” Connor knew she was messing with him and just rolled his eyes in response.
“In a big brother kind of way. Every boy needs a positive male role model in their life and it gives me an excuse to be childish sometimes. Win, win in my book.” He said as they approached the check out.
“Thou enjoys being childish?”
“What’s the point of being an adult if you can’t be childish every once in a while?” Luna had to admit that she enjoyed the pranks she would pull on the guards, and occasionally her sister. Connor paid the mare working at the register and grabbed what he was able to carry while balancing with the cane.
“Want some help?” Luna asked holding two bags.
“No, I got it.” He said as he put the plastic loops through his arms. “Okay let’s head home.” With Pip trailing in front of them with a small bag of ‘Gummy Ursas’ in his hand. Luna tapped Connor on the shoulder and rubbed her ear. The man nodded and tugged his own.
Do young Pipsqueak’s parents know you hang out with him? Connor bit his lip at the words.
Pip doesn’t have any parents. Luna’s eyes shrank at the words and let out a gasp.
WHAT!?
Ow! Not so damn loud, you’re gonna give me a migraine!
What happened to them?
From what Gold Skies told me, they dropped him off when he was two and never came back. I guess they didn’t want him anymore.
Gold Skies?
She’s the mare that runs the orphanage. Nice mare, really cares for the kids.
I had no idea. Connor saw The Princess wipe a tear away.
Don’t worry about it. You couldn’t have known. Pip doesn’t like to talk about it, so please don’t bring it up.
I understand. So how did you come into the picture?
Well, after Twilight explained that I wasn’t a threat and I got settled, not a lot of ponies liked me, safe for Twilight and her friends. One day I was walking through the park and I see Pip about to climb a tree trying to get his paper airplane down from a high branch. I didn’t want him to break his leg so I went up and got it for him.
“Oy! Landlubbers,” A familiar pirate accented voice snapped them out of their conversation. “ye been real quite since we left the docks. Ye be planning a mutiny?” Connor chuckled at the words.
“No captain, nothing of the sort, I assure you.” The skies started to grow dark and Connor felt a few raindrops on his head. “Best head to shore cap, a storm seems to be brewing.”
“Aye! I be seeing you both on the morrow!” He tipped his imaginary hat to Luna who could only giggle. Damn that giggle was cute! “Avast, turn East!” He said as he wandered off.
“Pip,” Connor said. “East is that way.” He pointed in the opposite direction.
“Then West it is!” Connor rolled his eyes at the young colt.
Pray tell, why does he always talk like a pirate?
Oh that’s my fault too. Luna raised an eyebrow at the words. I show him one Pirates of the Caribbean movie and look what happened. With that last thought he reached his home and the two started putting the groceries away.
“Where should I put the ice cream?”
“In the freezer.”
“Where is that?”
“The basement, second door on the right.” As the words left his lips he dropped what he dropped the loaf of bread he was holding and scrambled towards the Princess. “No wait!” He tripped and ended up crashing into the mare making her drop the ice cream as she fell. Connor’s head was pounding as he felt his face land on something fuzzy, soft and...perky? As he raised his head he saw what could only be described as pure anger and embarrassment. Connor’s face went bright red as he realized he just motor boated the Princess on the Night.
“Lecherous little pervert!” Luna yelled as she got to her hooves and got ready to shoot a volley of spells at him.
“It was an accident! I tripped, I swear!” Luna growled and took a deep breath. “Look I’m sorry okay, but for the love of god, do not open that door!”
“Why not? The ice cream will melt.”
“I’ll handle it.” He said as he took the cold package.
“What are you hiding from me?” She asked as she narrowed her eyes.
“Remember those plushy spiders you brought to life last Nightmare Night?” Luna’s face went red in embarrassment. “Well, they had to go somewhere and they seem to like damp, warm places. So my house was the logical choice when Winter came around. Twilight put an enchantment on the door to keep them down there until she can find a spell to deal with them. I usually do an inspection once a month and clean house, but seeing as I’ve been incapacitated for the past three months, I’m worried of what happened down there.”
“I see. Well, shall we go then?”
“You want to see these things?”
“I might know a way to deal with them.”
“Oh I know a way, kill them with fire!” The man hobbled over to the downstairs bathroom and pulled out a bottle of body spray and duck taped a Zippo lighter to it. He gave a quick demonstration of the makeshift flame thrower and reluctantly opened the door. Nothing but dark steps leading down was all the man could see. He reached fro the wall and flipped the light switch, nothing happened. Oh just fucking perfect.
I hardly think that this is ideal.
Get out of my head! Luna snapped her fingers and a small glowing orb of light hovered in front of the two as they made their way down the dark depths. They reached the concrete floor and saw large white box. Connor slowly opened the lid and a cloud of cold air came out. He quickly put the ice cream inside and quickly ran back up the stairs with Luna trailing behind. Once at the top he shut the door and sighed in relief. “We got lucky.”
“Where are they?”
“Hopefully they,” He grabbed a set of nearby sunglasses. “bugged out.” Luna just face palmed and giggled.
“That was the worst joke ever, of all time.”
“At least I’m trying.”
“Well if there’s nothing more that needs to be done I’d like to continue with Modern Warfare 2.” She said as she walked over to the couch and turned on the console.
“Thought you were playing Black ops?”
“I did, but I got bored. I started playing campaign in MW2, I was just so captivated by the story and Ghost is my favorite character of all time.” Connor rolled his eyes and walked over to get a drink.
“What mission are you on?”
“Makarov’s safe house.” The man froze and bit his lip.
“Oh, then I’d brace myself if I were you.”
“Why?”
Twenty-five minutes and forty-five seconds later.
“C’mon Luna something like that had to happen.” Connor said as he banged on the bathroom door.
“No, it cannot be that our shining night has fallen!” She cried into her palms.
“It was a plot twist to help enrich the storyline, and if you’re gonna eat all those cookies
“These sugary disks of dough and chocolate will never fill the hole he left in our heart!” Connor groaned and rubbed his scalp thinking of a way to coax her out of there. She’d been crying non stop for over half an hour.
“Would Ghost really want you to be curled up on the floor mourning him or seeking revenge against the man that killed him?”
“What are thou talking about?” She sniffled.
“There’s still two more missions left and if Ghost were here then he’d want you to get the job done. Not crawl inside a cookie box and drown in sugary deserts.” Connor leaned against the door and heard a shuffling of hooves. The door creaked open to show the Princess’s mane a mess and her mascara running down her fur.
“Very well.” She said as she wiped her eyes. The Princess sat down and picked up the controller. She was kicking all kinds of ass and was seeing red as she entered the chase scene with General Shepard. “YOUR FEEBLE BOAT SHALL NOT SAVE THEE FROM OUR WRATH WRETCH!” She yelled in her royal Canterlot voice. As the credits rolled she sat back and panted as sweat appeared on her head. “Huzzah!”
“Feel better?”
“Indeed, I have avenged my companion!” A loud growl echoed through the house and the Princess blushed brightly.
“Well, I say that you deserve a meal after that.” He chuckled. “Question, do you like meat?”
“We haven’t had much experience with it.” Connor nodded and pulled out a tray of pre-made meatballs and some pasta. Luna helped set the table and waited for the man to finish cooking. “You can cook?”
“Of course. Lived on my own for years, had to learn or starve.” He finished the sauce and served them each a plate.
“This isn’t pony meat is it?”
“Course not, it’s immoral to eat horse and pony back on Earth. Granted some cultures still do it, but I have no intention of doing so.” Luna took a bite of the meat sphere and smiled.
“It’s really good.”
“Family recipe.” The two began to dine and chat. After dinner was finished, Connor put the dishes in the dishwasher and thought of an idea. “Mind if I ask something?”
“What?”
“What did Blueblood say to you that made you kick him across Canterlot?” Luna lowered her gaze and hid behind her hair. “I mean, I know Blueblood is an ass, but to get under your skin, he must have really struck a nerve.” Luna adjusted her seat on the couch and sighed.
“While we were meeting with the ambassadors, Prince Blueblood showed up and started shooting his mouth off.”
“No surprise there. I thought Blueblood wasn’t allowed in political affairs.”
“He isn’t, for reasons you can easily imagine.” Connor knew the Prince’s views on other races, more specifically anyone or anypony that wasn’t of noble blood. He also found the fact that Connor’s country used democracy instead of the monarchy system to be abomination. “So he barged in during the meeting and demanded a seat at the table. Everyone refused to allow him and then he said that I had no place there either since all I do is raise and lower the moon.”
“Prick.”
“A mare can only be insulted so much before she, how you say, ‘lose her cool?’” Connor nodded. “So I stood up, calmly walked over to him and kicked him right through the main window.” Connor laughed at this while Luna stayed silent. “There is one thing though.”
“What?”
“He was right.” The room grew dead silent and Connor looked at the Princess in shock.
“No he wasn’t. Blueblood was just looking for an excuse to bitch and moan.” Luna turned to look at the man with her big sad blue eyes.
“All I really do is lower and raise the moon. I rarely go on political trips to other countries and I don’t even have half the duties I had before I was banished.” She shivered as she fought against her tears. “I used to help Captain Artemis coordinate the royal guard at peace and war times. I’d see over the courts for the most vicious crimes and,” She let out a long sigh before continuing. “I felt like I actually made a difference and helped my country.”
“Come on, don’t talk like that. You decorate the night sky better than one of Van Gogh’s paintings.”
“Who?”
“Famous painter from my world. Your night sky is beautiful.”
“And how many ponies actually take notice of my work?” She said as she frowned. “I put hard work into my craft and no pony gives a damn!” She was clenching her fists so tight that the nails could split the skin. “Even after my return we are still trapped in our sister’s shadow.” She looked into the man’s eyes with tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Do you have any idea what that’s like? To be unappreciated when you try so hard to stand out.” Luna hung her head and unclenched her fist. “We apologize, we should not burden you with our-” The mare was cut off as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. Her first instinct was to break away, but this was not an attack, the arms were comforting and warm. Luna felt something warm inside of her and sat frozen in place.
“It’s no burden Luna. Everyone has problems, you, me, Twilight, I’m sure even Celestia has issues.”
“Now all I’ve done is make them yours.”
“That’s what friends are for Luna.” He said as he rested his chin a top her head. “We help each other deal with their problems.” Luna felt her heard beat a little faster.
“You are our friend?” She asked in a shaky tone.
“Of course. I’m letting you stay in my house aren’t I? I wouldn’t do that for a total stranger and I may not look it, but I know how it feels to be unappreciated.”
“How so?” She said as she wiped a tear away.
“My four older siblings are talented beyond belief so it’s a little hard to stand out. Not that my parent would give me credit even if I earned it.”
“Why?” Connor gave a small cringe at the question.
“Let’s just say that I’m the black sheep of the family.”
“I thought your kind was an advanced species of apes?” The man face palmed.
“It’s just an expression Luna. My point is that so long as you enjoy doing it theres no reason why you should complain. Sure you make the night sky awesome and you feel down that not a lot of people take notice, that’s normal. You want to be congratulated for your accomplishments as you deserve.”
“Now you’re making me sound selfish.” Connor groaned as he tried to think of a new tactic.
“Wanna know what I liked most about being hospitalized for three and a half months?” Luna looked at him in confusion. “It gave me a chance to take in all the little things that ponies and people, myself included, take for granted everyday. Gave me a chance to stop and smell the roses. One thing that I never knew that was so beautiful was the moon and the night sky.”
“Thank thee for that reminder.” Her tone was dripping in sarcasm.
“Hang on, I’m going somewhere with this. It gave me a chance to really see what I was missing out on. Back on my world the sun and moon raise and lower themselves, so theres really no reason to care. Most people don’t care how something works so long as it does what it’s supposed to do. I realized how much work you put into the sky and I feel guilty that I didn’t realize it until then.” Luna wiped the tears from her eyes. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that there will always be praise, even if you don’t know it. Someone will always be there to appreciate what you’ve done.”
“We doubt that.”
“What about Pipsqueak? Doesn’t he count?” Luna gulped. “Whenever he’s not going on about pirates you’re usually the topic of conversation.”
“R-really?”
“I’m quoting him on this,” He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “Luna is the best Princess ever.” Connor did a poor copy of the colt’s British sounding accent. Luna could only chuckle at the words. “Just ask him or any of the kids in Cherilee’s class, I know that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle think rather highly of you.”
“We helped them with some personal problems a while back, no big deal.”
“Yes, it is a big deal. You help ponies in a way that Celestia never could. That has to count for something right?” Luna remained silent and sighed.
“I...I suppose so.” She said as she wiped the tears away and broke the embrace. “We thank thee for the kind words.”
“Hey don’t mention it, what are friends for?” He smiled. “Now I say that we sit back, relax and kill some grunts.”
“Grunts?” Connor put in ‘Halo Reach’ and Luna chose her spartan. Female, midnight blue with a Unicorn call sign. “So what is our objective?” She asked as Connor loaded the first mission.
“Kill evil space aliens.” Luna scored a headshot off of an elite with her pistol and set her controller down and folded her hands. “What are you doing?”
“Taking a moment to honor the enemy.”
You can’t be serious.
We are.
Damn it Luna!
“We apologize evil space lizard, but thou was in our way. I will be sure to send your family flowers and-”
“You do realize that while you’re giving him a eulogy, his alien friends are shooting you in the face.” Luna frowned and picked up her controller.
“Well, that is just rude!” The human decided to quit halfway through the storyline and just decided to watch Luna kill the alien scum. Soon he faded off to sleep on the cough as the sound of bullets flying and explosions played in the background. Connor awoke hours later to see the game paused and felt a wetness on his pants. He looked down and his face went scarlet red.
Princess Luna was fast asleep on his lap and had a small drool trail on his crotch. The man took a moment to regain control of himself and shut off the entertainment center before taking the mic off the Princess’s head. He carefully scooped her up bridal style and brought her upstairs.
Damn! She’s heavier than she looks. In her sleep, Luna had wrapped both arms around the man’s neck and was nuzzling his chest. His blush levels increased ten fold. Connor reached her room and carefully laid her down before removing her arms from his neck and tucking her in. He took a moment to admire how cute she looked sleeping. He closed the door and made his way to his own room. He took off his drool soaked pants and went for a pair of gym shorts, it was surprisingly humid that night so he decided to go without a shirt. As soon as his head hit the pillow he let sleep take him.
Chapter 5: Maids, Aliens and Shenanigans
Chapter 5
Maids, Aliens and Shenanigans
Connor opened his eyes to see nothing but a green plastic like substance in front of him. He looked down to see some type of green liquid was filled up to his torso and his limbs were bound in some sort of sticky goo. The man remembered now, the invasion of the weird race called Changelings. They impersonated and kidnapped a Princess before invading the city. Before royally crashing the wedding, the human had ‘borrowed’ a spell rifle from the armory. Spell rifles were used by non-Unicorn guards and had different types of spells inside clips that would get fed into the rifle. After the Queen Chrysalis had exposed herself and defeated Celestia, the goddess ordered Connor and the six mares to retrieve the Elements, only to be met with an army blocking their way.
Thanks to Pinkie Pie using Twilight like a gatling gun, the seven managed to make it past the first wave of enemies, but their numbers kept multiplying. As the six continued forward, Connor decided to keep their guests busy, which lasted about thirty-seconds before he was knocked out and hauled off to Celestia knows where.Now he was stuck in some sort of alien pod thing. He thrashed around for who know’s how long and managed to get his legs arms free. As he continued, his legs came next.
The human slammed his fists against the green glass like surface. After what felt like hours of pounding and kicking he realized he didn’t have enough strength to break the surface. He leaned against the inside of the pod and realized it was suspended. He shifted his weight to the left and then to the right, the pod did the same. He continued to move and he heard a cracking noise coming from up above. “C’mon you son of a bitch! Let me out!” He grunted as he heard the pod snap free from the ceiling. Connor felt a falling sensation before he felt the pod crash against the floor. The liquid splashed and over him and he banged on the glass again.
“Hey I think I heard something.” A voice yelled in the distance. Connor continued to bang on the surface of the pod. He was coughing on the green liquid and was screaming out to anyone who can hear. “Another pod ma’am. Should I blast it?”
“No, there could be a pony trapped inside!” The voice of the librarian was music to the human’s ears. “Open up the pod.”
“Okay boys in three, two, one.” Connor saw three flashes of different colored light and heard a cracking sound. He slammed against the surface and more cracks appeared. “Back up something’s coming out!” A guard ordered. One final push and the man broke free from the pod and rolled out of the small compact prison.
“Freedom!” He said as he coughed up the green fluid. He heard several hooves shuffling and spell guns being cocked. His eyes then fell upon the purple scholar and sighed in relief. “Oh thank god, Twilight.” He slowly got to his feet and cracked his back. “I thought that I was a gonna be in there forever.”
“Ma’am, you know this thing?” A white Pegasus stallion asked. The lavender mare looked at the human and approached it.
“Well, don’t worry,” She said as she put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. Connor froze as he felt a pain in his chest. Blood filled his mouth and he looked down to see Twilight sticking a blade into him. “you’ll never be in another pod again.” Connor gripped her shoulder and for a split second saw her caring lavender eyes shift to ones that were spliced and green.
“You...bitch I’ll-” The fake twisted the knife and he dropped to the ground in pain. The Changeling turned towards the guard and nodded. The Pegasus walked over and handed the fake his spell pistol. “No wait, that’s not Twilight, it’s-” A bang and a flash of green light ensnared the man’s senses and all went black.
~~~
Connor shot up from his bed covered in sweat and looked as pale as a ghost. He looked down at his sweaty palms and felt as though his heart was gonna break out of his chest. His door then swung open to reveal the Princess of the night in her clothes she had on the previous day. She saw the man’s condition and approached his bedside.
“Connor? What is wrong? We heard you scream and we came to see if anything happened.” She said as she sat down beside him.
“N-nothing just a dream,” He said as he started to take slow, deep breaths. “a bad dream. That’s all.” Luna raised an eyebrow in disbelief and leaned closer to the man. Connor felt his back hit the wall as he tried to put some space between himself and the Princess.
“You know it is our job to watch over our subject’s dreams, pony and human alike.” Her face was now inches away from his and Connor’s face was getting redder by the second.
“J-just a stupid dream. That’s all.” Luna squinted and stared at him with those deep blue eyes that could rival the largest oceans. A familiar ringing tone snapped them both back to reality. Connor reached over to his cell phone and hit the talk button. “Hello? Hey Twilight what’s up?” A few second ticked by and Connor looked at Luna. “Yeah, she’s right here.” He said handing Luna the phone. “Twi want’s to talk to you.” Luna took the phone from him and left the room.
Connor let out a sigh of relief and realized he was packing a full hard on. He walked over and closed the door to his room and got changed into something a bit more presentable than just gym shorts. When he got downstairs he saw Luna sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal in front of her. “What did Twilight want?”
“She invited me to go to the spa with her and the other elements.”
“Nice.” He said as he poured himself a bowl.
“May I ask something?”
“Shoot.”
“Why are we in the same clothes as yesterday?” That made the man freeze in his tracks. How was he supposed to tell the Princess of the night that she had fallen asleep on and drooled on his lap?
“You dozed off after getting a quarter through the game. I woke up and carried you upstairs to bed. Luna’s cheeks went red at the words.
“Oh.” She said adverting her gaze. A silence fell between the two and once again Connor was saved by his phone ring. All hail the Old Spice Jingle! It’s powers of breaking awkward situations are too powerful for man or pony to comprehend.
“Hello?”
“Hey Connor.” A cheery voice said.
“Oh hey, Bon-bon. Let me guess, the toaster oven this time?”
“Actually I’m calling on behalf of Rose. She lost her phone somewhere in her shop. So while she’s looking I’m calling you.”
“What’s she need?”
“Something about her TV not working.”
“Okay, tell her I’ll be there soon.”
“Thanks, bye.” Connor put his phone away and looked back at Luna.
“Well, it looks like I have a job to do.”
“What?” Luna asked.
“Rose needs a hand with her TV.”
“Who?”
“The red maned mare who runs the flower shop.” Luna remembered seeing the cram colored mare around town. The two cleaned up their bowls and got ready to go their separate ways. As Connor walked to the door he saw the husky holding hammer in it’s jaws. “Fine, just behave yourself.” The dog’s tail started wagging and put the hammer down.
“Um Connor, we are not familiar with the spa’s location.”
“It’s on the way to the flower shop so I can walk you there.” Luna smiled at this and they walked off towards their destinations. The sun was shining in the sky and leaves had started to turn brown and fall off the branches they once occupied. The cool air nipped at the human’s skin and he rubbed his exposed arms. Should have worn long sleeves I guess.
The two saw a group of familiar mares and approached. “Hey guys.” He waved at the group. Pinkie waved at them in her typical over the top fashion.
“Hey Conner, are you joining us?” The pink mare asked.
“No, I was just showing Azure here how to get here. Rose is having TV troubles so I’m going to see what’s up.” The group heard a whooshing noise and saw a familiar cyan mare with an irate look on her face. “Morning Dash.”
“Meh.”
“You okay?”
“I’m at the spa, what do you think?”
“Right there with ya Dash.” Applejack groaned.
“Never thought I’d see you two at the spa. What changed?”
“They owed me a favor.” Rarity chimed.
“Must have been something embarrassing.” Dash frowned and took a step closer to the man, but stopped when she heard a familiar growl come from the husky beside him. “Don’t tell me you’re still scared of Nero here.” He scratched the dog’s head.
“He did try to rip my throat out the first time we met.” She scowled at the dog as it showed her it’s sharp teeth.
“C’mon boy, we got a patient to see.” He tugged the dog’s leash twice and the canine complied. The seven mares walked inside to see two Earth pony mares, one pink with a blue mane and the other had the opposite color scheme.
“Hello girls.” Rarity chimed.
“Good morning Ms. Rarity.” They both said with a smile.
“I have an appointment.” The blue one grabbed a clipboard and looked it over.
“Ah yes, party of six?”
“There’s going to be another addition if it’s all right.”
“Of course Ms. Rarity.” The two nodded and went off to get their rooms ready.
“Come girls, let us get pampered beyond belief.”
“Yay.” The athlete and farmer said in a half assed tone as they followed the crowd inside.
~~~
Connor arrived at the scene of the crime and knocked on the door to the shop and waited. He heard the door unlock and Rose was standing in the doorway. She was donning a dark green deep V shirt and pants that hugged her legs. Her mane also had a curl to it and it looked like she was waring eye liner.
“Morning Rose.” He said with a smile. “Bon-bon said you were having issues with your TV?”
“Yeah right this way.” Connor followed the mare and noticed that she was swishing her tail back and forth with each step. The man paid no mind to it and found himself in a small living room with a couch and a TV in front of it.
“So what’s the issue?”
“The screen is just static. I’m not sure what’s wrong with it.” Connor flipped the switch and saw what the mare described. He tried flipping the channels and still nothing. Connor turned the device around and examined the cable. He felt something soft press against his back and realized that Rose was leaning on him. “Think you can fix it?” Her tone sounded like a damsel in distress.
“I’ll see what I can do.” He said as he pulled out his screwdriver and started to unscrew the back of the machine.
“Anything I can do to help?”
“No thank you, this hopefully won’t take long.” As he continued to work he saw Rose’s two roommates, Lilly and Daisy come out of their rooms still in their PJ’s. Both of them were wearing short shorts and tank tops. Both mares blushed heavily when they saw the man and went to find Rose. Connor heard sounds of whispers followed by giggling as he continued to work. Nero was laying down on the floor watching his master work.
After checking the internal workings of the machine, the human was thoroughly stumped. It didn’t make any sense, the cables were fine the bulbs were in near perfect condition and there wasn’t even a scratch on the screen.
“Something wrong?” He heard a voice say. Connor looked and his face went bright red. The three mares were wearing identical outfits, each a different color and each showing off their well sized busts and assets. He pushed all thoughts from his mind and stood up beside the blasted machine.
“It’s strange. I’m not sure what’s wrong with it.” The man put a finger to his chin and thought hard. “There is one thing I can try, but it’s risky.” The man positioned his had on top of the TV and delivered a quick slap to the plastic surface. The screen flickered and the picture was restored. I am awesome! He heard a small applause and took a bow.
“How did you do that?” Lilly asked.
Very good question. I didn’t think it’d actually work.
“The TV just knows better.” Rose looked at the mares and nodded with a smirk on her face.
“Now about payment.” Rose said as she walked up to him with half lidded eyes. “We don’t really have enough to pay you right now.” Connor gulped as he backed up into the couch and the three mares converged on him.
“Th-that’s okay Rose, just let me know when you get enough.” He said as he tried to hide his blush from the mares.
“Oh but you worked so hard and we have to give you something.” Lilly said as she shoved him down on the couch and sat herself down on his lap.
“There has to be something we can do for you.” Daisy said as she and Rose sat n either side of him.
The fuck is going on? Wait a second, those eyes, the attitude...Oh crap they’re in heat! Abort mission! Abort! Connor immediately rose to his feet and threw on a nervous smile.
“Sorry ladies, but I think I left the water running at home. Exit stage left!” He said as he rushed out the door with his bag and dog trailing close behind. He didn’t stop until he was at least a block away from the flower shop. He learned from Twilight that mares during their heat cycle get really horny and will bang almost anything with a pulse. Not to mention the chances of pregnancy rise, no one was sure if humans and ponies were compatible yet, but that will have to wait for another day.
Connor whipped out his phone and dialed the candy maker’s number.
“Hello?” A familiar lyre player said.
“Lyra it’s Connor, where’s Bon-bon?”
“Hang on she’s in the kitchen.” He heard a muffling sound as the phone was passed.
“Hey Connor, how did things go at Rose’s place?”
“Aside from the near mid-day rape session just peachy!”
“Mid-day what?”
“Rose, Daisy and Lilly are in heat. I barely got out of there before they broke out the riding crop!”
“What? Rose didn’t look it when I saw her early this morning.”
“Well, just give me a heads up next time.” He hung up on the mare and left to go find a very cold shower.
~~~
The seven mares were all relaxing in the mud baths as the others asked Azure about Vanhoover. Luckily the Princess knew of the city thanks to royal records kept which was a load off of Twilight’s mind. The topics then shifted to the six mare’s colt friends and secrets of the embarrassing nature were told.
“You’re kidding! Pokey get’s hofficures!” Dash bellowed.
“Yup, I made him go with me once and I caught him two weeks later.” Pinkie giggled. The mares weren’t really surprised, safe for a certain cyan flyer. Pierce had grown up in the shining city of Canterlot after all. Rarity noticed that Azure had stayed quiet for the majority of the conversation.
“What bout you Azure? What about your coltfriend?”
“I do not have one.” Luna said with a small hint of disappointment.
“Nothing wrong with taking a break.”
“Well what about the last stallion you had? Anything good?” Dash asked as Luna hung her head.
“There’s nothing to tell.” Luna said as she sank deeper into the mud.
“Maybe we should change the sub-” Twilight was cut off as Dash looked at Azure in an accusing manor.
“Wait a sec, are you a virgin?”
“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity stated. “That’s far too personal.”
“No, it is all right Rarity.” Luna sighed. She looked at Twilight and AJ who had nervous looks on their faces. “Let us just say that it has been a long time since I’ve shared somepony’s bed.” Luna honestly didn’t remember the last tie she was with somepony, or if had been at all.
~~~
Nine months earlier.
“Well, we can’t just leave ‘em here.” The farmer stated as she stood up straight. “Twilight, you might wanna-” The lavender mare just finished writing a letter and wrapping it in purple magic. Since Spike was still recovering from Celestia sending her all her past friendship reports she used a failsafe spell Celestia gave her to use in case her number on assistant was indisposed of. “Never mind.” The farmer then heard a growling sound and looked at Dash. “Rainbow did you skip out on breakfast again?”
“That wasn’t me.” They heard he growling again and turned their heads towards the house that had landed not ten minutes prior. There standing in the open doorway was what looked like a wolf growling, ears back and bearing it’s fangs. The hound looked down at the unconscious human and let out a loud howl before charging. Before she knew it, the dog was on top of the cyan flyer snapping it’s jaws.
A rope went around the animal’s neck and the farmer heaved the creature off her friend. “What the hell is that thing?” Dash asked as she got up. The dog turned and started to chew through the rope until it finally snapped. It charged again but was stopped by the yellow Pegasus, the dog stared deep into her teal eyes and froze. Fluttershy got closer and saw it’s collar.
“Nero? Is that your name?” The dog’s eyes shifted towards the human and let out a whining noise. “Oh I see, you were just protecting your owner. He just fainted from the excitement.” The dog felt itself free from the mare’s eyes and walked over to the man’s face. After a few licks, the man’s eyes opened.
“Ugh, dog breath.” He coughed as he sat up and saw the six. He scrambled to his feet and gulped. “So it wasn’t a dream.” Twilight stepped forwards and gulped.
“Are you working for Discord?”
“Who?” Connor raised an eyebrow at the name.
“Discord, the god of chaos and disharmony.”
“Lady, I don’t know where the fuck I am, much less someone who lives here.”
“So you’re an alien?” The pink one asked.
“By your standards, yes.” He crossed his arms. “Mind telling me where I am?” The group then shielded their eyes as a yellow flash of light filled the area. Connor blinked and saw a creature standing seven feet tall, had white fur and wings, a flowing celestial mane to match her tail, and a golden crown sitting upon her head behind her horn. Beside her stood two smaller, yet more intimidating looking creatures wearing gold plated armor and holding spears. “Oh great the fuzz.”
The two guard aimed their spears and the dog got in an attack stance as it bared it’s teeth. The tall one raised it’s hand and the two guards backed off. The purple one ran up to the taller and quickly explained the situation while the other mares and guards didn’t take their eyes off the human. “Hey,” He said catching the large one’s attention. “it’s kinda rude to talk about me like I’m not even there.”
“My apologies.” The taller one said in a motherly like tone. “You’ll have to forgive my guards, they are somewhat on edge.”
“So long as they don’t try to impale me I’ll let it slide. Mind if I get some answers?”
“Shall we go and talk?”
“Will I be locked up?”
“Will you try to run?”
“No.”
“There’s your answer.” The creature then noticed the dog. “Will your companion be any trouble?”
“Nero? Nah he listens to me.”
“He just tried to eat me!” The rainbow maned flyer said. The dog barked and Fluttershy gulped. “What he’d say?”
“He doesn’t eat junk food.” The group chuckled and the cyan flyer frowned at the words.
~~~
“You were owned by a dog?” Luna chuckled as the mares got out of the mud bath and dried themselves off. Dash grumbled at the words.
“So Azure,” Applejack started. “how’s living with Connor going?”
“It’s going well.” Luna said as she pushed the awkward situations she and the man had gotten into. “Although we do not know much about him personally.” She said as she wrapped a towel around her form. “What do you know about his siblings?” The six mares froze on the spot and turned to look at the blue Unicorn mare.
“He’s got a brother!?” Pinkie stated.
“I’m not sure. All he told me was that he had four older siblings. You did not know?”
“For whatever reason Connor doesn’t like to talk about his life before he came here.” Twilight said as the group got into the changing room. “Whenever we tried he’d always brush off the question and stone walled us. We didn’t want to seem too nosy so we usually never bring it up.” Luna nodded as she slipped her shirt back on. The group went their separate ways and Luna walked through the streets of Ponyville as and autumn breeze gently hit against her face.
The mare saw the flower shop where the human said he was going to be working. She opened the door and heard a the small bell rigged to ring when it opened. Luna started browsing the plants until a cream colored mare with a red mane came out wearing a green apron and rubber gloves.
“Morning and welcome to the Ponyville Flower shop. How can I help you?” She asked with a smile on her face.
“Yes, I was wondering if you happen to see a human named Connor walking around here?” Rose raised an eyebrow and looked the mare over.
“Didn’t know he had a mare friend.” She said in a guilty tone. Luna’s face flushed bright red and shook her head.
“No, we are only his roommate.”
“Whose we?”
“I mean, I am his roommate. He said that he was working here.”
“Oh, he ran off about an hour ago. Not sure where he went.” Luna nodded and exited the store. The mare was thinking quietly to herself as she saw Soarin and Thunderlane. She hurried up to them and tapped the grey Pegasus on the shoulder. Thunderlane turned and smiled at the mare.
“Hey, Azure right?”
“Correct, and you’re Thunderlane?”
“The one and only.” He put his arm around the blue Pegasus stallion and smiled. “This here’s Soarin, course I’m sure you know that.”
“H-hi.” He said as he hid his blush.
“You are courting Rainbow Dash are you not?”
“Yeah, we’re together.”
“So how’s living with Connor?” The dark Pegasus asked.
“It’s going well. I am enjoying his company.” She smiled.
“So who does what around the house?” Soarin asked.
“Hm?”
“Well, since I moved in with Dash I’ve had to do work around the house. Most of the time I get bathroom detail while she handles laundry. Rarity have you do anything Thunder?”
“Yeah, I mostly dust in places she can’t reach, stack shelves of fabric and take care of Sweetie while she’s working, good thing she and Rumble are friends.”
“Who’s Rumble?” Luna asked.
“My little brother, but back on topic, what do you do?” Luna opened her mouth to speak, but realized that next to playing games and helping him shop she hadn’t really done anything.
“N-nothing yet.” She said in a guilty tone. “I don’t want to be a freeloader. Have any
~~~
Connor trudged through the small town with his tool bag and dog by his side. After the incident with the flower ponies this morning he’d gotten call from Cherilee saying that the lights in the school house were on the fritz. After he had replaced the blown fuze and rebooted the system he ran into Bon-bon who apologized for the slip up this morning. He had no hard feelings seeing as it was an accident. Connor was at his doorstep and opened the door to a strange sight.
The surfaces were shining like new and the floor was sparkling. The inch layer of dust that had accumulated in his absence seemed to have had never happened.
The fuck happened? Did Luna do this?
“Luna are you here?” He heard a bit of shuffling.
“One moment.” The man set his bag down and noticed that she had organized his video game and movie collection alphabetically.
“Did you clean the house?”
“Yes, I’ll be down in a moment master.”
Well, that’s really ni- wait what did she just say? He heard hoof steps coming from the upstairs and his jaw hit the floor. Luna was donning a skimpy maid outfit that looked a few sizes too small for her. You know, like the one’s you’d see in those cheap porno movies. Luna’s hair was in a pony tail and a small maid hat rested neatly on her head and she was wearing dark blue eyeliner that made her eyes all the more captivating. Connor was at loss for words as Luna tilted her head in confusion.
“Does thou disapprove master?” That was it. That was the last the man remembered before he fainted. Luna looked at him in confusion and levitated him on the couch. The movement caused him to stir and open his eyes, only to see Luna bending over to pick up his tool bag. As she moved the short maid skirt rode up on her showing her light blue undergarments. Once again, he passed out at the sight and fell into darkness. A sudden shaking motion jostled him awake and he rubbed his eyes.
Man and I was having such a good dream.
I apologize master, I didn’t know. The voice made him freeze as he stopped rubbing and opened his eyes to see the maid leaning over his body with either hand placed beside his shoulders and she was balancing on her knees. Connor’s face flushed bright red as he couldn’t help but stare at the Princess’s amazing bust.
I think she’s about as big as Fluttershy. Despite her shy nature, Fluttershy had the figure of a model with a set of breasts that would bring all the colts running. A gentle hand on his forehead snapped him out of the trance and back to his predicament.
“Your head seems to be warm master. Are you ill?”
“N-no.” He said trying to hide to hide his further reddening cheeks.
“Are you sure? Your nose is bleeding as well.” Connor felt a wet warmth above his lip and touched it to see a small bit of blood.
Oh come on! The two heard the door to his home open to show Big Mac.
“Hey Connor ah just wanted to see if-” The red stallion stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the maid sitting on top of his friend and the tension was now tripled as he just stared. “Ah’ll come back later.” He said as he slowly closed the door. Finally gathering his senses, Connor sadly closed his eyes so he could focus.
“Luna, why in the name of god are you dressed like that!?” The Princess got off of him and stood in confusion.
“We were feeling guilty that we have done nothing to help with the upkeep of your home.”
“So this was the only thing you could think of?” He said gesturing to her outfit.
“We were only following the rules of modern cleanliness.” She crossed her arms making her breasts pop out even more.
“What rules?”
“The rules Thunderlane and Soarin gave me to follow in order to properly clean your home.” Luna snapped her fingers and a paper with elegant handwriting appeared in the man’s hand. Connor rubbed his eyes and started to read the sheet of paper.
Cleaning for the modern age.1. You have to wear appropriate attire (Maid outfit to show you mean business) 2. Address the owner of the home as Master to show your appreciation for opening up his/her home to you. 3. Make sure he/she sees you cleaning so he may inspect your work. 4. Check back regularly to see if there is ANYTHING you can do for him.
Connor gripped the page and gritted his teeth. “Luna you’ve just been pranked.”
“What? We were only following the directions.” Connor face palmed and led her over to a mirror.
“Luna look at yourself.” The mare looked at herself in her skimpy outfit and still had a confused look on her face. “Twilight told me you can go into ponies’ dreams right?”
“Yes, we guard the ponies’ dreams from nightmares.”
“Ever come across a stallion’s dream that includes a beautiful mare in a made outfit?” Luna thought for a moment and her eyes shrank. She took another look at herself in the mirror before letting out a scream and teleporting out of the room. I think she gets it now. Still, I shall hold that view in my memories forever. As Connor groaned he realized that he was packing a full hard on yet again. He headed off towards bathroom and went to relive himself from the tension caused by Luna’s maid act and the flower ponies attempted seduction
~~~
After the tension was released it dawned on Connor that he hadn’t drained the pipes in almost three months. It’s amazing how much stress that can be released through masturbation. He approached her door and knocked on it. “Luna? You in there?”
“What?” She said in a spite filled tone.
“Are you decent? We gotta talk.” The door glowed blue and swung open to show Luna facing away from the door. Her disguise was down and she had her face buried in her knees with her arms wrapped around her legs.
“We are so embarrassed!” She sniffled. Connor sat beside her and put a hand on her shoulder.
“It was more like a prank on me than you.”
“Were you the one in a dress?” She looked at him with a scowl.
“Valid point, but it was just a prank and now there is only one course of action.” Luan raised an eyebrow. “Payback. Wanna help?” Her devious smile was all Connor needed for an answer. His phone started to ring and he saw it was Big Mac. “Hello?”
“Am ah calling at a bad time?”
“It was a dumb prank by Thunderlane and Soarin Mac.”
“Oh, that makes sense. Ah just wanted to see if movie night was still on.” Since he’d become friends with the ponies, The group would gather once a month to view one of the human’s movies. Connor thought for a moment and smiled.
“Yeah, everyone coming tonight?”
“Eeyup.”
“Good, make sure Thunder and Soarin come.”
“You’re gonna buck with ‘em right?”
“You know me so well.” Mac chuckled and hung up. He turned the Princess and smiled. “C’mon Luna, we’ve got baking to do.”
~~~
The sun’s light was just about to lower behind the mountain as the twelve ponies found themselves at the human’s door step. Connor managed to find some spare chairs and set them up along the couch. Once everypony was settled and they each had a brownie that he and Luna had baked, they were ready to watch the movie. “Mares, colts, and Dash.”
“Hey!” The cyan flyer grumbled.
“Since Nightmare Night is a few weeks away, I decided to choose something from my horror section.” That made Fluttershy let out a nervous squeak.
“A-are there animals in it?”
“Yes, there’s a cat.” Connor said with a smirk. He inserted the DVD and the title appeared on screen, ‘Alien.’ Connor took his seat beside Luna and the two had a perfect view of the two trickster stallions. The mares’ teeth were all chattering and Connor felt Luna grab his arm when the face-hugger attacked. The entire group yelled when the alien popped out of the man’s chest and Connor noticed that Thunderlane and Soarin were shifting uncomfortably in their seats.
As the credits rolled Connor could see the sweat forming on the stallions’ brows. He noticed that Luna was now clutching his arm so tightly that it was starting to hurt. He gave her a small nudge and motioned towards the twitching stallions. She smirked and nodded. “So how’d you guys like the movie?”
“It was bucking awesome!” Dash yelled. “Ripley is awesome!”
“Very true. Also-” Connor started coughing violently.
“You okay partner?” The orange farmer said as he collapsed. “Get his legs Mac!” The red stallion grabbed his ankles as the human started to strike out spastically. A pool of red blood appeared under his grey shirt and the ponies watched in horror as the alien creature jumped out of his chest and did this.
Boisterous laughter could be heard from the man’s body. The guests all blinked and saw the alien vanish in a puff of smoke and saw that the man’s shirt was clean.
“Oh man! Oh that was awesome!” Dash delivered a quick jab to the man’s arm.
“You fucking jerk!”
“I’m sorry Dash, but that was sweet payback, you and the others were just caught in the crossfire.”
“Payback for what?” The group all sniffed the air and smelt a foul stench. “By Celestia, what the hell is that?”
“You son of a bitch!” The group turned to see Thunderlane and Soarin on the ground. The smell was coming from their pants. “What did you do to us?”
“I enchanted your brownies with a laxative spell.” Yes, they even have spells that makes one void their bowels. Luna smirked. “For making a fool of us earlier today!”
“Wait you actually did that?” Thunder asked.
“What did you two do now?” Twilight groaned.
“They tricked Azure here into wearing a maid outfit.” Luna blushed brightly.
“I didn’t think that she’d actually go through with it!” Soarin yelled.
“You are so dead when we get home.” Dash said.
“I’m in enough pain!” He said as he tried to fight the literal river of shit that was about to burst.
“You’re lucky Azure went with my suggestion or you’d both be a pile of ash.” Connor said.
“Honestly, you guys are as bad as Discord!” Rarity groaned.
“Oh come on Rares,” Thunder whined. “You can’t rope us in with that freak.”
“Yeah, our shenanigans are fun and cheeky.” Soarin said.
“His shenanigans are cruel and tragic.”
“Which really don’t make them shenanigans at all.” Connor added.
“Evil shenanigans!” Luna chimed.
“I swear to Celestia, the next one of ya’ll that says shenanigans is gonna get my hoof rammed so hard up their flank that they’ll be able to taste the bark from my apple bucking.” The orange farmer said with fire in her eyes. The human looked at the two Pegasus stallions and they shared a grin.
“Hey Caramel,” The tan stallion perked up as he heard the human say his name. “what was that dinner you told me about in Trottingham? The one with the good bread sticks and the goofy crap on the walls?”
“Oh you mean Shenanigans?” AJ only face palmed as the human chuckled. The two pegasus stallions slowly made their way out of the man’s home in desperate need to find a bathroom. The rest of the ponies cleared out and Luna yawned.
“Let’s head up, we’ll deal with the chairs tomorrow.”
“Mind if we ask thee something?” Connor looked at the mare who had a large blush on her face.
“Sure.”
“Did you mean what you said before when you were trying to tell us about the prank?” The man thought back to when he saw Luna in the maid outfit.
All I asked was if Luna had seen any dreams with a stallion and a beautiful mare in...Oh Celestia. His cheeks immediately flushed red as he gulped.
“Does thou think we are beautiful?” His face went a shade that could make hi look like a humanized version of the red farm stallion.
“Well, yeah.” Luna’s face then tinted red and she cleared her throat.
“Oh, well thank you for the compliment.” No words were exchanged after that and the two retired to their rooms for the night.
Chapter 6
Fight!
Connor was siting on his bed with his laptop resting on his lap as he was owning in Team Fortress 2 as the sniper. He had just managed to kill a heavy, and a medic as he heard a knock at his door.
“Yeah?” He said looking up from his laptop. His face flushed deep red when he saw Luna wearing the maid outfit from the other day. “Um, Luna why are you wearing that again?” The mare sauntered into his room while swinging her hips and having a grin on her face.
“We know that you like us better like this.” She cooed. Connor gulped as she started to crawl on top of him and levitated his laptop to the side. Connor was frozen as the mare set her weight on top of his mid section and got her face closer to his. “We feel guilty. Here we are living in your home and we have yet to pay our rent.” Connor felt his arms being pinned by the Alicorn’s arms. Despite her size, she was probably as strong as Big Mac.
“Th-that’s not necessary Luna.” He gulped as his face grew redder as he saw the Alicorn’s half lidded eyes.
“Oh we believe it is.” She took both his hands and pressed them against her soft breasts causing her to moan loudly and her tail to curl around his leg. Connor felt himself stiffening as Luna’s hands reached down and started unbuttoning his pants. “And we’ll be sure to pay you back with interest.” The mare pressed her lips against his neck and nibbled lightly. Connor’s eyes rolled back as Luna’s hands wrapped themselves around his shaft.
Connor looked down and saw something that made his pulse skyrocket. Something that filled him with fear. Luna’s fur had vanished and only showed white human skin, her eyes had shifted from blue to green and her hair had turned to jet black. His eyes shrank and tried to move but found his hands pinned by the woman.
“Anna.” He said with enough venom to put down an Ursa Major.
“Oh don’t be like that baby.” She said in a sweet tone. He tried resisting again, but found it futile. “Now let’s have some fun~” The man’s heart was beating so fast that he thought it would imitate a chest-burster and start singing vaudeville. Leaving no alternative, he screamed.
~~~
Once again, the man shot up in a cold sweat and panting heavily. He looked down at his shaking hands and gripped his hair. Oh god, why’d she, of all people, show up?
It was starting out so well too.
Shut up. The man got out of bed and stretched before heading downstairs. He decided that he would make waffles. He got out the fixings for the buttery squares of delight. After he had made a plate for himself he heard a noise coming from the other room and left to investigate. It was a scratching noise coming from the basement door. Must be mice. I’ll have to get Fluttershy over here sometime.
The man returned to the kitchen to see the Princess of the night looming over his waffles with hunger in her eyes. “Hey! Those are mine!” He said in the same tone he used when he was training Nero to not beg for food while he was eating dinner.
“But they smell so good!”
“Then wait a few minutes and I’ll make more.” Luna pouted and crossed her arms. She smirked and made the biggest puppy dog eyes the man had ever seen. Must...resist urge to daww! The man tried to resist the Princess Puppy eyes of cuteness. Fight it! Fight it! Sweat was forming on his brow and was biting his lip.
“Pweese?” She said as she added a quivering lip.
Hurk! That did it!
“Just take it and make the eyes stop it burns!” He groaned.
“Ha-ha, we are victorious!” Luna said as she levitated the plate over and dug into her newly acquired waffles. Connor grumbles as he put more batter into the waffle press.
“Head these words Princess,” He said pointing the spatula at her in a dramatic manor. “Justice will be swift, justice will be painful,” He made his free hand into a fist. “It. Will be. DELICIOUS!” He said as he got his own waffled out of the iron and sat down across from the Alicorn who was munching on her waffled.
Daww. Looks like somepony likes waffles~ He thought in a baby like voice.
Shut up!
Goddamn it Luna! The Princess scores again and he decided to go back to his waffles.
“So, what was your nightmare about?” He looked at the Princess in shock. “We heard you screaming. Again.” She set her fork down and looked at him with seriousness in her eyes.
“Nothing.” He lied as Luna narrowed her eyes.
“I believe the term one would use is, bullshit. You have been woke up nearly every night since we arrived here and we know something is troubling you. Now tell us what is wrong?”
“No offense Princess, but it’s none of your business.” His tone was flat as a wall.
“It is our job to watch over ponies’ dreams while they sleep.”
“Exactly, ‘ponies’ dreams. I’m not a pony.” Luna frowned.
“You know what I mean.” Connor groaned and rubbed his eyes.
“Look Luna, it’s most likely a side effect of the drugs I’m on. I have my last check up today and I don’t have to take it anymore. Problem solved.” Luna noticed that he only ate one of his waffles and threw the other in the freezer. After getting dressed he grabbed his cane and made his way towards the hospital with the disguised Princess in tow. “What are you doing?”
“We have never seen Ponyville’s medical facilities.” Connor shrugged and the two continued towards the hospital. Luna noticed how tired the man looked and sighed as she put a hand on his shoulder.
“What the?” He was cut off as he saw a flash of blue light and he was in front of the hospital in an instant. He looked at Luna who was panting heavily. “You okay?”
“Yes, I’m just not use to teleporting another with me.”
“Well, thanks for the lift. You don’t have to come with me.” Luna crossed her arms and followed him inside. A familiar white furred nurse walked up to them with a smile on her face.
“Morning Connor.” She said with a smile. She noticed the blue mare and raised an eyebrow. “Who’s this?” Before Connor could answer, Luna stepped forwards.
“I’m Azure Star. I’m Connor’s roommate.” Red Heart perked up at the name.
“Oh so this is the mare all the stallions have been going crazy over?” Luna blushed and Red Heart smirked as she looked at Connor. “You sly dog.”
“It’s not like that.” He sighed. “Can we please get these tests over with so I can ditch this thing?” He held up the cane. Red Heart chuckled and led the man towards an examination room where the tan Unicorn stallion was waiting for him. Red Heart took Luna aside.
“Sorry, but you have to wait our here. Patient and doctor confidentiality.”
“I understand. So you know Connor?”
“Yes, I treated him while he was recovering from Tirek’s attack.”
“How bad were his injuries?” Red Heart sighed and lowered her head.
“I can’t give you any details, but” The Nurse bit her lip. “I’ve been a nurse for most of my adult life and I’ve seen a lot of things. When they brought that man in...I couldn’t even tell what I was looking at until Princess Twilight explained what had happened.” Luna only gulped at the words.
“Nurse-”
“Please call me Red Heart. Everyone does.” She smiled.
“You prescribed him pills to help his recovery yes?” The nurse nodded. “Were there meant to be any side effects?” The nurse raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“None that I can think of. Why?”
“Don’t tell Connor I told you this, but he’s been having nightmares. He said it was probably a side effect from the drugs, but I am having my doubts.”
“He’s still having those?”
“You knew?”
“I figured it was from the trauma. We has a psychologist come and check him out, but she said that he was perfectly fine.” Luna scratched her chin as she thought.
“Well, whatever it is, it cannot go ignored. Could you schedule a test on his brain?”
“No problem, but the bill is being covered by the crown.” Luna smiled coyly.
“I’m sure they won’t mind.” Red Heart went into the room and saw that the doctor had finished up with his physical examination. She whispered into the doctor’s ear and he nodded.
“Hang on Mr. Rowe. We just want to do a quick neural scan.”
“What for?”
“To see if there’s any residual trauma. It’ll only take a few minutes.” Connor was lead down the hall to a large MRI like machine that hummed when the doctor turned it on. He stripped and put on one of those god awful hospital gowns that tied up in the back. Seriously, it’s like the person, or pony in this case, specifically designed it so it was a pain in the ass to get on and made the wearer feel awkward. He laid down on the table and saw the machine start moving as a magic laser went over his face a few times before stopping.
He stood back up and dressed himself. “Okay, Mr. Rowe you’re free to go. We’ll get the results in a few days.”
“Thanks doc, for everything.” He shook the stallion’s hand and smiled. He walked out to see Luna chatting with Red Heart. This can’t be good He approached the two giggling mares and crossed his arms. “Hey girls, having ourselves a little chat?”
“Yes, just telling funny stories.” Luna stated. “Are you okay to leave?”
“Yup, clean bill of health!” He said as he raised his hands in victory. He said goodbye to Red Heart and handed her back the cane he had used to get home from the hospital.
“What now?” Luna asked.
“Now? I’m heading to the gym. I’ve been cooped up for three months and I wanna work off the weight I accumulated.”
“That sounds fun.”
“I think Rarity goes to some yoga class there.” The two grabbed their gym clothes and made their way towards the work out center. As Connor stepped in he noted that Dash, Soarin, AJ, Caramel, Thunderlane and Rarity were stretching out. Why AJ went to the gym was a mystery to the man. Her job was excruciating enough. He went into the locker room to change and saw three familiar Pegasus stallions. The same three that loved to give Dash and Shy a hard time.
He paid them no mind as he got changed into a black wife beater and maroon gym shorts with a stripe going down the side. He walked out and was greeted by the two earth ponies. “Hey guys. What brings you here?” AJ glared at Caramel.
“Ah caught this one cheating on his diet. So now he’s paying for it.” Connor had heard that since Caramel and AJ had reached the six month mark in their relationship that the tan stallion had been gorging himself on her families goodies. No pony could blame him, the Apple family were famous for their baked good that the finest cooks in all the Universe couldn’t compete with, except maybe Pinkie Pie.
“Worth it!” Caramel exclaimed. The other two stallions then came over. Three jaws dropped and two sets of wings sprung up like wound spring.
“What?” Soarin turned the man around and he understood. There stood the disguised Princess with her blue mane in a ponytail, donning a sports bra that ended just above her stomach that showed a well defined six pack and a pair of pants that hugged her magnificent legs. Thankfully, Connor’s arousal was easier to hide due to lack of wings and the fact that since he moved into a world who’s society had a female ratio of seventy percent versus the male’s thirty percent, he had developed a technique that had saved him for awkward situations many times. What is this strange technique? Boner Control.
“Connor, could you show me how things work here. I am not well versed in some of the equipment.” Connor gulped and snapped out of the daze.
“Sure no problem.” He looked to his right and saw the three stallions being dragged by their mare friends. Connor lead her over to the weight machine and the two started stretching. The man’s face was burning as he couldn’t help but notice how flexible she was. Her toned muscles shined and he nearly lost it when she bent forward and touched her toes.
Meanwhile across the room, the three stallions were huddled up. With devious thoughts on their minds.
“Okay gents, I’ve got an idea.” Thunder said.
“This should be good.” Caramel said with his voice dripping in sarcasm.
“Hey, unlike your plan with the flower ponies this will actually work.” Soarin arched an eyebrow at the stallion.
“What? Rose, Daisy and Lilly are hot. I thought Connor would go for them.” Caramel shrugged. Thunder pulled his phone out and dialed a number. After a few hushed words he closed the phone and returned to his workout. Five minutes later two Pegasus mares with similar silver colored manes and same light purple coat approached them. They were both wearing skin tight pants that went to their knees and sports bras. The only difference was their mane styles, One was neatly combed and had a bow in her hair, while the other was more on the wild side.
“Morning Flitter, Cloud Chaser.” Thunder smiled. He threw and arm around Soarin. “I’d like you to meet my good friend Soarin. You two might know him.” Both their wings shot up when they saw the Wonderbolt. “I’ll take that as a yes. Anyway, we have a proposition for you.”
“Name it.” Flitter said as she drooled. Thunder gestured over to Connor who was on the bench press, while Luna was chatting with Dash, AJ and Rarity.
“You see Connor is a bit lonely without a partner so we were wondering if you could remedy that for us.”
“What’s in it for us?” Cloud Chaser asked as she crossed her arms.
“Glad you asked. Soarin here has offered to introduce you to any Wonderbolt for your services.”
“I did?” Thunder gave him a small punch in the back. “I mean, yeah sure.” The gears in the mares’ heads started turning.
“So,” Flitter started. “you’re saying that if we rock Connor’s world, then you’ll set us up with any Wonderbolt?”
“Any, except me. I’m taken.” He said pointing to Dash.
“Flitter?” Her sister said getting her attention. “Is today our birthday?”
“No.”
“Well, it should since we just hit the jackpot.” Cloud said as she looked at the man and licked her lips. “I’ve always wondered how he was beneath the sheets.” The two mares accepted the proposal and sauntered their way over to the man while the stallions fist bumped each other.
“Wow, I guess Rarity was wrong about you Thunder.” Soarin said. “You’re not a muscle for brains, skirt chasing, ego maniac.”
“Oh stop. You’re gonna make me blush.” He said with a grin. Across the room the girls were chatting away. Rarity noticed that the blue mare was occasionally looking over at the man and a coy grin grew on her lips.
“So Azure,” Luna turned her head. “how has living with Connor been?”
“Very good. Connor has been a great host and a good friend.” Luna smiled.
“Oh yes, Connor is very charming wouldn’t you say?” Luna gave a small blush, but hid it well.
“I-I suppose.” Dash caught onto Rarity’s plan and smirked.
“Not to bad to look at either.” She looked over to the man who was squatting 130lb. Luna blushed harder as she saw the sweat accumulating on his body.
“H-he seems very fit.” She said as she quickly turned away.
“Oh come now dear, don’t be shy. There’s no shame in looking.” Luna lowered her head.
“He wouldn’t be interested in a mare like me.” She said in a saddened tone.
“Well, ah’ll have to disagree,” AJ interjected. “considering the way he was looking at you the same way Caramel was staring at one of my homemade apple pies.” Luna didn’t really understand the farm pony’s expression but it made her feel warm a fuzzy inside.
“Um, AJ.” Dash tapped her friend on the shoulder and pointed to the man chatting with Flitter and Cloud Chaser. Luna’s ears grew flat and sighed. Connor was on his third set and decided to move on to the bench press. He threw on about 120lb as two mares approached him.
“Hey Connor.” Flitter said in a seductive tone.
“Morning ladies.” He said as he lifted the bar off the stands.
“Need a spotter?”
“Sure.” Flitter got behind the bar and place her hands next to his. Every time he pushed up he could have sworn that his hands brushed against the mare’s breasts but played it off as ignorance. He heard a few groans and looked down to see Cloud Chaser stretching in front of him. The mare spread her legs out and bent backwards making her chest squeeze against her sports bra. Connor blushed at this and tried to focus on his work out.
Connor set the bar down and sat up before taking a hit of water from the bottle he brought with him. He noticed that the two sisters were busy stretching and saw their muscles press against their skin. A firm slap on his back brought him out of the trance.
“Hey buddy,” Soarin said as he and Thunderlane walked up to him. “see something you like?” The man blushed at the words. “What? You have to admit that they’re smoking hot.” Connor froze and slowly turned his head towards Soarin.
“Soarin, I don’t care if you are a celebrity, if you even think about cheating on Dash, then so help me I will drag you out by your tail and beat you senseless.” The Pegasus chuckled.
“Okay, first off, you can’t take me.” His tone was cocky. “Second, I’m talking about for you.” Connor knew where this was going and he face palmed. He was about to tell the stallion off when he saw Luna being approached by a familiar grey Pegasus stallion while she was putting some weights away. He couldn’t make out what was said but could tell that Luna was blowing him off.
What happened next made the man’s blood boil. When Luna turned to put her weights down, the stallion gave her a firm slap on her flank. Like a rusty door hinge, the mare turned her head slowly with a look that could make an Ursa void it’s bowels. Connor rushed to prevent Luna from turning the ass hole into dust, while it would be a sight to see, it would blow her cover. Connor tapped on the stallion’s shoulder and frowned.
“There a problem here Endzone?”
“Hell do you want freak?” He said as he looked at the human.
“It looked like you just slapped my roommates ass.” He cracked his neck and got in his face. “I suggest you leave before she or I decide to put you in your place.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“Just stating a fact. What happens next is in your control.” The man crossed his arms.
“Didn’t know you apes had a sense of humor.” He laughed. “Cause if you think that you can actually take me, then that oversized goat must have knocked something loose when he crushed you.” Connor clenched his fist.
“Yeah I fought with Tirek and lost, at least I wasn’t a little pussy who flew home to mommy with their tail between their legs.”
“You’re nothing but a bipedal monkey!” A crowd had soon gathered around the two arguing males.
“You’re nothing more than a bipedal bitch.” The stallion was gritting his teeth. “You know, I always believed that Pegasi wings looked like eagle wings, but in your case I’m willing to believe that yours came from a chicken.”
“Burn!” Dash yelled. The grey stallion cracked his neck and Connor saw his nostrils flaring.
“You. Me. One on one.” The group gulped at the words.
“Any time. Anywhere.”
“Here and now, in the ring.” He looked over towards Snowflake, who was the manager of the gym and he led them through a set of double doors to show a boxing ring with red ropes around it. Connor went back to his locker and grabbed his padded MMA gloves and his mouth guard. He removed his shirt and came back to the ring to see that a crowd had gathered. Snow was in a referee shirt and had a whistle around his neck.
Connor got in the ring and started stretching. Luna blushed brightly seeing the man’s toned, sweating body. She squinted and saw a large scar going down from his right shoulder, across his chest and ending near his pant line. He threw a few quick jabs in the air and raised his fists. Endzone was a few inches taller than Connor and had more muscle on him.
“Ready?” Snow asked. Both fighter’s nodded. “Fight!” He said as the music Connor selected started playing to get him pumped. Connor jumped back and got ready. He dodged a few heavy hits from the stallion and delivered a few quick jabs to his ribs. The Pegasus jumped back and got in a defensive as Connor bombarded him with fast and precise strikes. The stallion saw his chance and he took it. He dodged Connor’s right hook and slammed his right fist into the man’s face. Connor staggered back a few steps and felt his mouth guard fly out of his mouth.
“That all you got bitch?” Endzone said in a mocking tone. Connor looked up at him with a dark grin. A small bit of blood escaped his mouth as he picked up his mouth guard and put it back in. Connor cracked the vertebrae in his neck and back loud enough to be heard by the audience, making Luna cringe.
“Okay,” The man said with a smile. “let’s dance.” His tone had a hint of bloodlust to it. Connor cracked his knuckles and went on the offensive. He started off with slapping the stallion’s ears, disorientating him briefly while he slammed a strong kick into his ribs. Connor then delivered a series of punches to the stallion’s face. Endzone went back and spat some blood from his mouth. The stallion flared his wings and zoomed towards the man and tackled him before he started beating on his head.
Connor put both his arms in front of his face to protect himself. Connor delivered a quick jab to the stallion’s stomach making him freeze. Connor slipped his legs out from underneath the stallion, leaned back and slammed both feet into his jaw. Connor got to his feet and felt that he had a black eye forming. Connor dodged the stallion’s right hook and blocked it, exposing his ribs.
He started slamming his fist into the stallion’s ribs and threw him against the ropes. The Pegasus grinned and flared his wings, as the roped shot him back into the ring. Connor readied himself and went underneath the stallion as he charged, before slamming his fist into his gut. The man was sure he heard bones crack, making some of the crowd wince. As Connor bit his lip from the pain in his hand he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him attempt to throw him over the ropes.
Connor extended his hand and grabbed the top rope in mid air. He held on until the last second and felt the wind rush past his face. He adjusted his body so his right leg was sticking out and delivered a kick that could rival Applejack’s. The Pegasus flung back agains the ropes and dropped to the ground. Connor was ready and Snow started counting.
To everyone’s surprise the grey stallion was getting to his hooves and looked madder then ever. “Time to end this.” The man charged forward and the two locked blows. The man caught Endzone’s fists in his palms and the two entered a power struggle. Connor then quickly gripped his opponent’s wrists and slammed his forehead against the stallion’s.
He felt blood coming from his head and he was dizzy. Endzone had the worse of it and staggered back. The human rushed forward delivering a series of kicks and punches to the stallion’s body. Connor paused and saw that the stallion was barely on his hooves.
“Finish him!” The crowd yelled out in a Mortal Kombat like voice. Connor grinned and charged forwards and primed his muscles. Like bullet he shot towards the stallion with his right fist clenched. As he got into proximity he delivered a powerful uppercut to the stallion’s chin that launched him off his hooves and out of the ring. Connor heard the bell ring and he raised his right arm in victory.
“Still think you can take him Soarin?” Thunderlane asked as he looked at the surprised blue stallion. The man got out of the ring and saw the grey stallion being helped up by the other two stallions.
“If you ever want a good beat down Endzone, you know where to find me.”
“You’ll pay for this freak!” He said as he started to limp away.
“Yeah, yeah, keep barking little dog.” Connor walked back into the locker room and let the cold water wash over his sweating body. His adrenaline had worn off and he was just feeling the effects of the fight. Totally worth it. The man got changed back into his street clothes and exited the room to face the cheering crowd. Still got it. He thought as he walked through and found himself outside. He heard some hoof steps and saw a familiar blue mare in front of him.
“You won!” Luna smiled.
“Yeah, no surprise to me.” He said as he started to walk towards home. His black eye was clearly visible and he had a large bruise on his cheek.
“You’re injured.”
“Nothing a little ice can’t fix.” The two then saw three fillies. A yellow earth pony filly with a dark red mane, a white Unicorn with a curly purple mane and tail and the orange Pegasus with a dark purple mane. “Hey girls” He said with a smile.
“Hey Connor.” Sweetie chimed. “Have you seen Pip?”
“No, haven’t seen him in a while. Why?”
“He’s upset.” The man blinked in surprise.
“Over what?” The three looked at one another and had nervous looks on their faces.
“Just Diamond Tiara again.” Scoot stated. Connor had heard enough stories from the CMC to get the gist of the bully’s attitude.
“What’d she say this time?” Hh crossed his arms.
“Just the usual blank flank comments.” Applebloom sighed.
“Then she went on about he’s an orphan.” That lit the fire in the man’s eyes and he gritted his teeth. “But don’t worry,” Scootaloo said. “I took care of it.” Connor noticed some bruising on her right hand.
“Nice. Where are you three off to?”
“To try to get our sky diving Cutie Marks.” The farmer smiled.
“How are-” Connor blinked and stopped himself. “Never mind, I don’t even wanna know. Just be careful.” The three nodded and went off to most likely cause hundreds of bits worth of damage.
“Aren’t those Honesty’s, Loyalty’s and Generosity’s younger sisters?”
“Only the yellow and white ones. Scootaloo just looks at Dash like a big sister.”
“So like you and young Pipsqueak?”
“Yeah.” He said as he opened the door to his home and Nero came bounding out. The dog’s ears wet back and whined as he saw his owner’s bruised face. “Don’t worry boy, just a flesh wound.” He said as he sat down on the couch.
“Where did you learn to fight like that?’ Luna asked as she sat next to him. Connor only grinned.
“When you grow up with three older brothers, you can either A; learn how to fight, or B; get held down and get burped on for the rest of my life. Choice is kind of obvious.”
“What are they like?”
“Hm?”
“Your siblings? What are they like?” Connor sighed.
“My siblings are two sets of twins. My brother Chris and my sister Chloe are two years older than me. Then there’s Cole and Clint, those two are a year above me.” Luna gave a small giggle. “What?”
“All your names begin with C.”
“I noticed.” He deadpanned.
“You said before that they were extremely talented.”
“Oh yeah. Chris is the brains of the family, he got straight A’s all through middle school and High school. I think he became a doctor.”
“All that time?”
“Yup and Chris was a genius. Next is Chloe, she’s the only girl. Her attribute was her looks. Her nick name in High School was ‘Heart-Break-Chloe.’ Though don’t let the pretty face fool you, she’s really smart, not as much as Chris, but she’s up there.”
“She sounds nice.”
“Think of Rarity with human skin and blonde hair. Also throw in Dash’s quick temper and AJ super strength.” Luna gulped. “Yeah, one time she caught her boyfriend kissing another girl and she broke three of his ribs and his collar bone. So it’s not wise to piss her off.”
“Noted. Who’s next?”
“Cole. He was the jock of our family. Name any sport, he can play it. Football, wrestling, track, baseball, etcetera. His nick name was ‘Cole train.’”
“Why?”
“If you had the ball then he’d run right over you. He was the line backer for our high school’s football team all through his years.”
“Sounds like a brute.”
“Kinda, but he’s more of the strong silent type. Like Applejack’s brother.”
“Macintosh is his name?”
“Yup. Just don’t piss him off or he will break you over his knee.”
What is with this family and violence? Luna thought.
“Finally there’s Clint, he’s on the more art side of the spectrum, average grades, he was good on the track team, but quit to perfect his painting and drawing skills. He won the school’s art show three years in a row.” Connor smiled.
“And what about the fighting thing?”
“Oh we’re all trained in self defense. Chris is a black belt in Tai Kwon Do. Chloe knows Judo. Cole can knock you out with one punch and Clint knows Kickboxing.”
“What about you?”
“Mixed Martial Arts or MMA. It’s sort of a fusion of a few different styles.”
“So what about you? What’s your specialty?” The man hung his head and the air grew stale.
“I don’t have one. Anything I did do, they did better.” Luna felt a pulse of guilt go through her body.
“Oh come now, there must be something-”
“There isn’t!” He said frowning. Luna backed off and saw sadness in the man’s eyes.
“Sorry for snapping like that, but it’s the truth. I know it, my parents know it, everybody knows it. I’m the runt of the litter.” Connor hung his head as Luna put a hand on his back. “They also made sure I knew it.” He said in a low tone.
“Pardon?”
“With siblings like mine, you can bet I had a hell of a name to live up to and no matter what I did, I always disappointed them.” He buried his face in his palms. “When I graduated High School, my principal said this and I quote ‘You’ll never be as great as your brothers, but you can sure as hell try.’” Luna put a hand to her mouth in shock.
“What did you do?”
“What I always did, smiled and nodded.” Luna could faintly see a tear form in his eye.
“What about your parents? What did they do?”
“Mom split when I was thirteen and my dad laughed.” Now Luna was pissed.
“How could he be so cruel?”
“Chris and the others were furious though and Chloe gave the prick a tongue lashing the likes I’ve never seen. I’m fairly certain if Cole didn’t hold her back, then she would have broken his legs.” Connor saw the Princess remove her gauntlet and she returned to normal. She draped a wing around his shoulders and rested her head against his chest. He blushed brightly at this.
“Where are they now?”
“Last time I checked, Chris is a doctor. Chloe is a model for some magazine company. Cole is being scouted for several sports teams and I think Clint has some art tour thing going on. Course I haven’t talked to them in about two years.”
“Why?”
“Well, before I got sent here they were very busy and we didn’t talk often. When the portals opened up I sent a letter to my old house and didn’t get a reply back. I still send one every two weeks, but still nothing. It doesn’t even get returned.” Luna nuzzled his chest and sighed.
He smells nice. She quickly shoved that thought aside and cleared her throat.
“We are sure that they are anxious to see you.” Connor gave a nod and winced.
“Sorry, I should have put some ice on this when I got in.” He gestured to his eyes and cheek. He stood up and walked over to the freezer and pulled out one of those blue plastic freezer things meant for lunch boxes.
“Yes, about that.” Luna said as she sat indian style on the couch. “Why did you start that fight?”
“Why do you think? Prick deserved it.”
“Yes, but we could have handled it just fine ourselves.”
“I know. Thats why I stepped in.” Luna raised an eyebrow. “I’m fairly certain that Endzone would be on the surface of the moon right now had I not cleaned his clock.” Luna had to admit that was one of the thousand scenarios that played through her mind after the stallion spanked her. “Your cover would have been blown and I’m certain the gym would no longer be standing.”
“That is,” Luna had no argument so she just sighed. “possible.”
“Thought so. Besides, I wasn’t about to let him get away with treating a friend of mine like that.” He said as he switched the pack from his eye to his cheek. Luna saw that his eye was now swollen shut and she lowered her head in guilt. She took the ice pack away from him. “Hey I was-” He was cut off as he felt a pair of soft lips on his bruised cheek. His injury pulsed as his face grew bright red. Luna broke the embrace and had a blush of her own to match his.
“We thought you deserved a reward.” The man felt a tingling sensation on his face and his vision in his eye returned to normal. He looked at his phone and selected the camera to see that his wounds were healed. “There, our noble night is fully healed.” She chimed.
“So I guess that makes you the damsel in distress.” Luna growled at the words.
Daww, she’s blushing.
Cease thy teasing!
Goddamn it Luna! The man sighed and brought his laptop down and loaded up Team Fortress 2.
“What is that?”
“Computer game.”
“Can we play?” She asked as she summoned a blue laptop with a moon on the top.
“Sure, let me just- SWEET MOTHER TERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDES BENDZ!” Luna’s desktop was filled with pop-up ads ranging from those annoying ‘You’ve won the Mexican Lottery’ to ‘An Indian Prince wants to meet you.’ “Luna, what the actual fuck happened here?”
“We received a message that we won a prize, we are still waiting for it.” Connor face palmed.
“Luna, do you do any important business on here?”
“Like?”
“Oh you know, sensitive documents that could potentially start a war or military secrets?”
“No, this is strictly for gaming. Why?” Connor walked over to a desk and pulled out a zip drive.
“Hang on, I’ll take care of this.”
“No, I like all the flashing lights.” Connor deadpanned at the Princes.
“Luna, your laptop is infected with a virus. If it were a human or pony, I’d get my gun and shoot it in the face. Twice.” Connor pulled out a pair of wire rim glasses and cracked his knuckles. He plugged the zip drive in and Luna watched him type in several bits of code and watched as a loading bar appeared.
“You wear glasses?”
“Only when I’m working.” He hit the enter key and the loading bar started moving.
“Okay, now we just wait until it scrubs your hard drive clean.”
“What purpose does that serve?”
“It was slowing down your internet connection and if you had any sensitive documents then they’d be copied and sent to god knows where.” A small dinging noise came form the computer. “Aha! Just as I thought, Trojan virus, Spy wear and a whole other assortment of shit.” A day may come when you destroy someone’s laptop, but it is not this day! Go back to the shadow, I hence forth banish you from space and time! He hit the enter key and he imagined the monsters screaming in pain as the anti-virus destroyed them.
Huzzah! We are victorious!
Gah! Did you hear that? A small blush on her face answered that question. He logged on and set Luna up with and account on Steam. Luna decided to go with demo man, but kept getting sniped by the same player resulting in giving the phrase ‘rage quit’ a whole new meaning. Connor decided to quit and start making dinner. Afterwards the man felt the exhaustion take him and head up.
“Good night Luna.”
“Goodnight, it looks like that sniper logged off.”
“Yeah here’s a tip. Stay out of my scope, it’s really boring killing the same person for three hours straight.” He quickly zoomed upstairs as Luna’s eyes glowed with rage and tried to shoot him with a magic blast. “Vengeance is a dish best served cold.” He chuckled as he laid down on his bed. A little while later, Luna got peckish and started looking for some ice cream. She ventured down into the basement and retrieved the carton of dairy delight.
After she had cleaned up, she went up to her room and assumed her night duties. There’s just one problem, she forgot to lock the basement door.
Chapter 7: The Broken Truce
Chapter 7
The Broken Truce
The next morning started out slow. Connor got up early and spied Luna’s dirty dishes in the sink. He pain no mind but felt something sticky on the counter. The substance was white and looked like it was woven together. He head one of the loose floor boards creak and went to investigate. “Nero? That you boy?” He asked as he walked through the house. Another scurrying noise filled his ears.
The fuck is that noise?
Please don’t let it be zombies. He heard a whining noise and went towards his dog who was hiding under a coffee table wit his ears back. “Nero?” The man asked as he petted the dog. Another whine escaped the dog’s muzzle. “What’s wrong boy?” The dog lifted his nose and pointed to the closet. Connor slowly stood up and walked over to a closet where an aluminum baseball bat was sitting.
He weighed it in his hands and approached the door making the dog whine even more.
The large arachnid lunged at the man and tried to trap him underneath it’s legs. Connor swung and managed to knock one of it’s legs away. He whistled and the dog ran upstairs. “Okay ass hole, what next?” He twirled the bat in his hand. The spider spat out a web that ripped the bat from the man’s hands and stuck the bat to the wall. Oh come on! Did that seriously just fucking happen? The spider saw that the human was defenseless and jumped with fangs the size of kitchen knives ready to sink into his skin.
The man heard magic discharge and the spider was hit with a blue bolt of magic that encircled the bug in a cloud of magic. Connor looked at the floor and saw a small spider he saw last Nightmare Night. Standing in the living room with her horn flaring was the creator of the hell spiders. “Morning Luna.” He said as he sighed.
“What happened?” She asked as she picked up the doll.
“Don’t know. That is the biggest one I’ve ever seen. Not sure how they got up here. Twi enchanted the door to keep them down there. So long as the door is shut.” Luna grew a guilty look on her face.
“We may have forgotten to lock it the door before going to bed.” Connor face palmed at the words. Luna had her ears flat and had those big sad eyes.
That is so not fair! How can I stay mad at that?
Sorry.
Goddamn it Luna! He then turned his attention back to the scurrying spider and lifted his foot. “Time for you to go to hell!” He brought his foot down and finally end his torment. His foot was stopped abruptly by a blue ethereal box protecting the spider. “The hell Luna? I’m about to finally be rid of this pest!” She picked the spider up in her hand and the thing seemed to nuzzle against her.
“See? He’s harmless.” She cooed as she scratched it’s head.
“Did you just forget that it almost bit my goddamn head off?”
“I will not allow you to hurt it.”
“I’m not gonna hurt it. I’m just gonna go in the back, step on it’s legs and shoot it in the head. That’s how I role.” Luna frowned. “How about I promise to wash my hands before I destroy the abomination of nature? A nice clean death.”
“So long s I am living here, no more harm shall come to these creatures.” She said in a dead serious tone.
“Or what?” Luna smirked and placed a finger in the middle of his chest.
“Then we shall use their web to bind you and we shall do whatever we want with you.” Connor’s face went bright red at the words. Connor could only grin as he thought of a way to turn the tables.
“So long as you pay for dinner first.” Luna raised an eyebrow and her face flushed bright red before frowning.
“That’s not what I....I mean...Gah!” Connor chuckled over his victory. “Regardless, you shall not harm these spiders. They are under my watch.” Connor frowned at the little devil spawn that was now on Luna’s shoulder.
“They stay in a cage, in your room and they stay that size. If I see a three foot spider again, I’m getting my shotgun.” Luna smiled brightly and wrapped him in a bone crushing hug.
“Thank you!” Normally this would be a very touching moment, but due to the Princess’s super Alicorn strength she was slowly squeezing the life out of the human.
“Luna...can’t...breathe!” He said as he started to go blue in the face. She released the embrace and the man gasped for air.
“Sorry!” She said as the man caught his breath. She took the small devil spider in her hand and walked back upstairs. The man looked at the dog and sighed. As he poured himself some cereal his phone started to ring. The noise brought Luna back down and she saw the vibrating device. “Aren’t you going to get that?”
“No, I know who it is.” The call went to voicemail and Connor recognized Flitter’s voice.
“Hey Connor, my sis and I were wondering if you wanted to hang out? Call us back~” The man groaned and deleted the message.
“That was rather rude.”
“They’ve been pestering me non-stop since the fight at the gym last week. It’s getting annoying.”
“Why? They seem nice.”
“True, but they’re also lecherous perverts as you would say.” Luna had to admit that they dressed in risque outfits when they were near the human and their attitude was very forwards towards the sexual nature. For some reason it always irritated Luna when they got all cuddly with the human. His phone rang again, this time he picked it up. “Hey Thunder, what’s up?”
“Dude come meet us at the tavern.”
“It’s ten in the morning.”
“We just gotta talk.” Connor sighed.
“Fine, I’ll be there in a bit.” He pocketed the phone and finished eating.
“What was that about?”
“Thunder want’s me to meet him at the bar for some reason.” There was a small flash of blue light and a scroll appeared before the Princess. She unraveled it and raised an eyebrow. “What’s it say?”
“I am being summoned to Twilight Sparkle’s castle to meet with Princess Cadence and my sister.”
“Looks lie we’ve both got meetings today.” He said as he walked upstairs and got changed. A simple long sleeve shirt and pants would suffice. The man grabbed his phone and made his way towards the tavern. On his way he ducked behind building to avoid a certain pair of Pegasus twins. He entered the establishment through the back door and saw Thunderlane, Comet, Caramel and Soarin sitting in a booth.
“Sup man?” Caramel said as he fist bumped the human.
“Not much, you?”
“Same. Where’s Azure?”
“She’s talking with Twilight about something.” He said with a shrug. He saw two Pegasus sisters making their way towards the door and he quickly ducked under the table. “I am not here!” Both sisters approached the table and looked at Thunderlane.
“Hey girls, what’s up?”
“Yeah Thunder, we’re backing out of the deal.” Flitter said.
“What deal?” Comet asked.
“If we slept with Connor then soarin here would introduce us to the Wonderbolts.” Cloud chaser stated. Connor’s eyes shrank and slammed his fist into the blue stallion’s leg making him give out a small whimper. “Anyway, a mare can only get blown off so many times. See you guys around.” When the two left, Connor rose from the table and casted a dark look at the blue Pegasus.
“Explain now, while you’re still able to.” He cracked his knuckles loud enough to be heard from across the tavern.
“W-we just thought that you’d like some company is all.” Thunder said in a scared tone.
“Strike one.” He turned to Caramel.
“So you could make more friends?” He cracked his neck and rolled it.
“Strike two.” He turned to Comet.
“Um...what Caramel said.”
“Strike three, you’re out.” He said as he brought his fist back.
“It was just a prank!” Soarin said. All eyes turned towards the blue Pegasus.
“A prank?”
“Y-yeah, just a prank. That’s all.” The man let his fist drop and he grinned.
“Oh well that changes things.” He said as an evil grin grew on his face. “I’ll see you guys real soon.” After the human had left, Comet grabbed soarin and started shaking him violently.
“You’ve just signed our death sentences!” The Unicorn yelled with fear in his eyes.
“What? It’s better than telling him the truth and getting the shit kicked out of us.”
“That’s what you think.” Caramel gulped. “You’ve broken the truce.”
“Truce? What truce?” The three stallions all grimaced as they remembered...the war.
“It was a prank war like no other.” Thunderlane began. “Dash and Pinkie tossed the first stone, they knew not what they’d unleashed.” He shivered.
“For weeks we were hunted down by pranks on both sides.” Caramel stated. “Whoopie cushions on every seat, pies in every spring loaded box! It was complete chaos.”
“Eventually a truce was made, saying that only on the yearly prank day may they prank each other, so long as no pranks are pulled on Connor any other day.” Thunder stated. “You just destroyed that truce! Now we’re all gonna pay.” Thunder groaned.
“I’d better go tell Twilight, she’ll know what to do.”
“Be careful Comet, these streets are no longer safe.” Comet nodded and took off like a madman towards the castle. He made his way through the crystal halls and made his way to the meeting hall. He felt fear rise up in his spine and kicked in the doors where the four Princesses were talking.
“Comet? We’re in the middle of something.” Twilight said in shock.
“Twi, we’ve got a major problem!” Twilight grimaced at those words.
“Please tell me Snips and Snails didn’t drag another Ursa into town again.” She face palmed.
“Worse!”
“Dragon?” Luna butted in.
“Worse!”
“Resurrected a demon?” Celestia asked.
“A thousand times worse!” He said as he started panting.
“What could possibly worse than that?” Cadence asked.
“Soarin,” He said as he gathered his courage. “he...he...” Twilight put a hand on her colt-friend’s shoulder.
“Calm down Comet, deep breaths. I’m sure it can’t be that bad.”
“He broke the truce with Connor.” Like a stone hitting a window Twilight’s expression shattered and she started biting her nails, a clear sign that something was terribly wrong.
“Oh no, not again!” Twilight started shaking. “A-are you sure that-” She was cut off as the group heard a loud horn being blowed that confirmed their fears. “Oh buck.”
“What exactly happened?” Twilight then went into detail about the infamous prank war that plagued the town of Ponyville for weeks. “Where did he get the lobsters?” A crashing sound drew their attention and saw a rainbow haired flyer bust through the door.
“Twi, I heard the horn!” She grinned.
“So did all of Ponyville.”
“We need to start planning! I’m gonna get him back for last year!”
“You’re actually excited about this?” Comet asked. “After what he did to your mane?” The human had somehow gotten his hands on Twilight’s hot air balloon, a pair of shoes Twilight had enchanted so he could walk on clouds and two of Rarity’s hair dyes before sneaking into the mare;s cloud home and dying the cyan mare’s coat white and her mane black while she slept.
“Payback’s a bitch and so am I.”
“This sounds fun.” Luna said.
“I agree.” Celestia giggled.
“Princess you can’t be serious!?” Twilight said. “I know you like pulling pranks, but Connor is not to be trifled with. All we can hope to do is lay low and stay out of range.” The group heard a whooshing sound and saw a black suited pastry chef appear behind the pillars. Her curly pink mane and tail were sticking out. “Pinkie Pie? Why are you dressed like that?”
“For sneak attacks, duh. I gotta be on my hooves.”
“I think Connor is only aiming for Thunderlane, Soarin, and Caramel. Since they were the ones who pranked him. Not sure about the rest of you.” Comet stated.
“Still,” Pinkie reached into her skin tight outfit and pulled out a modified party cannon. “we must be prepared.” The three Alicorns only stared at the pink mare.
“Where was she keeping-”
“It’s Pinkie Pie, don’t question it.” Dash, Twilight and Comet said in sync.
“So what now?” Celestia said.
“We wait.” Comet stated.
“Wait?” Luna said in surprise.
“We go in turns. Soarin went first, now we wait for Connor to retaliate. Who ever does the best prank wins.” Pinkie stated as she pulled out some cupcake grenades. I’d better go fortify my defenses.” She looked at Dash. “See you on the battlefield Commander.” She saluted Dash before throwing a cotton candy scented smoke bomb and vanishing into the shadows. Celestia chuckled in excitement.
“Oh I must see how this turns out.” The group turned to see the spirit of chaos with a smirk on his face.
“Discord? What are you doing here?”
“Oh come now Tia, you know I can’t resist a good round of chaos.” He grinned. He snapped his fingers and set up a chair before sitting back. “This is gonna be good.”
~~~
Fear. That is the only word that described the three stallions as they carefully making their way through the small town of Ponyville. They hadn’t seen a single trace of the human since they saw him at the tavern. The trio were jumpier than fresh meat in a prison shower room. The three walked into the tavern and sat at their usual booth.
“I’m freaking out man!” Caramel said with fear in his eyes.
“Lock that shit down!” Thunder stated.
“Easy for you to say.”
“We’re all in the same boat.” Soarin stated
“Yeah, thanks to your stupid mouth.”
“I didn’t know he’d declare war on us.” A waitress came by and gave them each a glass.
“Thanks Berry.” Caramel stated.
“Courtesy of the gentleman in the corner.” She pointed to the back of the tavern to show a familiar human, sitting across from Azure raising his glass at the stallions. The three looked down at their cups with fear in their eyes.
“Y-you don’t think that he’d do something to the drink did he?” Thunder asked.
“W-we’re in a safe zone. R-right?”
“Who wants to test it?” The three looked at one another and didn’t dare reach for the glass. Pierce and Pinkie then walked in with smiles on their faces.
“Hey guys, these drinks up for grabs?”
“Sure.” Thunder said in a nervous tone. Pierce guzzled the glass down and licked his lips.
“Whiskey always has the best drinks.” The stallion waved to the dark brown Earth pony behind the bar. He sat down next to the stallions who let out a sigh of relief. They were safe. For now. AJ, Dash and Rarity soon arrived to join their colt friends. Soon, the human and disguised Princess made their way over to the table.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?” The human asked.
“Not much, just enjoying the scenery.” Pierce stated.
“Well, like my granddad always said, ‘Live every day like it’s your last.’ Old daft bastard.” He chuckled as the three stallions grimaced.
“I’m going to the restroom.” Luna said as she and the mares stood up and followed the blue mare.
“Why do they always move in packs?” The males all shook their heads at the question. “Oh that reminds me, how did Azure look in the maid outfit?” Soarin asked.
“Are you trying to get us killed?” Caramel yelled.
“See for yourself.” Connor pulled out his phone and showed them a picture he had secretly taken while she was still in the uniform. Jaws dropped and eyes bugged out.
“Damn!” Thunder said with erect wings. “Lucky prick, I’ve been barking up that tree with Rarity for moths.” Caramel squinted at the picture, but finally shrugged.
“I guess she’s okay.” Caramel stated.
“Oh come on man you have to admit that she’s hot.” Soarin said glaring at the stallion.
“Yeah she’s cute, but she doesn’t have a big enough ass. I mean AJ’s got a serious caboose ya know.” Four faces went pale.
“Um, Caramel-” Soarin said.
“Let me finish, it’s nice to have something to hold onto otherwise you could get hurt on the ride.”
“Caramel, I really think-” Pierce tried to interject.
“In a minute. Applejack’s ass is like the perfect pillow, it’s big enough to be considered one in my opinion.”
“CARAMEL!” The four males yelled.
“What?” They all pointed behind him. The golden stallion followed their gaze and his blood went cold. Staring at him were the emerald eyes of death with a smile to match.
“You were saying sugar cube?” The orange farmer said as he could see the rage behind her smile.
“A-AJ, I didn’t see you there. H-how long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough sugar cube, long enough.” She gripped him by the scruff of his neck and picked him up. “Fellers, ah need to have a little chat with my colt-friend here.”
“No objections.” The four said in sheer fear of the mare.
“Good.” The farmer then dragged the stallion out by his tail. The stallions all turned towards the human.
“Don’t look at me, even I’m not that cruel.” Soon the other mares returned and Luna had her hair back and was blushing. “Hey ladies. AJ took Caramel to talk.”
“Poor dear.” Rarity shook her head. “Anyway, as I was telling Pinkie, the Princesses were in town today.”
“Really now?” Connor chuckled as he looked at Luna.
“Awe man, I missed them?” Soarin whined.
“Why do you care?” Pierce asked.
“Okay, no offense Dash, but they’re hot.” Soarin stated.
“None taken.” Dash stated. “They’re on like a total other level.”
So who’s your favorite? Look wise I mean.” Pinkie asked.
“Pinkie! You can’t speak of the royal family in such a way.” Rarity snapped.
“Oh come on, it’s not like we’re calling them ugly.”
“Well, why don’t you start Pinkie?” Azure stated. Connor shot Luna glance and pulled his ear.
Why are you encouraging this?
What? I’d like to know what the public thinks of me.
“I’d have to say Princess Cadence. She’s super nice and pretty. Pokey?” She looked at her colt friend.
“Same.” Eyes turned to Rarity.
“I suppose that Cadence does have good fashion sense.” The fashionista stated.
“I’d say Celestia.” Thunder stated. “She’s got a nice body.” Rarity glared at him. “What? I’m just being honest.”
“I’ll buy that.” Soarin said. “Not to mention she’s gotta know some crazy positions.”
“A thousand years? She’d better.” Dash stated. Connor noticed that Luna was lowering her head. Not one of the ponies thought she was attractive and Connor gulped as the group looked at him. “So what about you?”
“Um, let me think.” He scratched his chin and he knew what he had to do. “I’d say Princess Luna.” The Princess looked at him with blushing red cheeks.
“Why? I mean, she’s scary.” The mare frowned at the words.
“True, but I’m sure she’s nice when you get to know her. Besides, she’s not as old as Celestia or as young as Cadence, not to mention she can go into ponies dreams. I’m sure she’s seen some interesting things.” Luna blushed as she admitted to seeing somethings she can never un-see. “As for looks, I think she’s very beautiful.” Luna couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy inside and her heart was racing.
“So given the chance, would you sleep with her?” Soarin asked. Now it was Connor’s turn to blush.
“Um-” The group heard a beeping from Rarity’s purse. At that moment, Connor chose the dead battery sound as his lord a savior. Rarity pulled out her phone saw that her phone’s battery had died.
“Shoot, I need to call Sweetie Belle. Can I borrow your phone to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid?” She looked at Connors phone.
“Sure.” As He put the phone in the fashionista’s hands the human realized the screen still held the picture of the Princess. “No wait!” his warning came too late as Rarity’s face went bright red and looked at Azure. Curious, Pinkie took the phone and giggled while Dash blurted out laughing.
“Wow Azure, I knew we said to stand out, but that’s going over board.”
“What?” Luna used her magic to levitate the phone over to her and her cheeks went bright red. A long silence fell over the group and she slowly turned towards the man. Her eyes were white with magic and her hair was a blue inferno.
“Exit stage left!” The man bolted out the back and ran as he heard several teleportation sounds fill his ears. Legs, don’t fail me now!
YOUR LEGS WILL NOT SAVE YOU WRETCH!The man jumped into a bush and remained still. He didn’t dare think else it might give away his position. He needed to hide somewhere she’d never think to look.
“That’s it!” He said in a whisper tone. Azure appeared behind the corner and the man grew still.
I hope she doesn’t know about the CMC clubhouse.
WE DO NOW! With a flash of light, the mare vanished and the way was clear. The man high tailed it back to his home and hid in the guest room closet. He threw a few bits of cloths on him as camouflage, which included a few shirts, a coat and a maid outfit.
“Why does she still have this thing?” The man shrugged and tossed it to the side as he used the mound to hide himself. He fell asleep in the closet, an hour later he heard the door open and hoof steps coming upstairs. Soon, in stepped Luna not wearing her bracelet with brilliant blushing cheeks.
“Damn that human!” She hissed as she laid down on her bed. Connor saw through the wooden blinds on the door and noticed that she was sweating heavily and was removing her shirt. His face grew bright red as she slipped her pants off to only show her light blue panties and bra. The mare threw on a pair of red glasses and put her man in a ponytail before logging onto her laptop.
The man watched as sweat formed on her brow and the sounds of typing filled the air. He sat frozen for an hour, crossing his legs because he had to pee really badly. Luna yawned and cracked her neck before walking over to her dresser and picking out a shirt and a pair shorts before leaving the room. Connor slowly opened the closet door and tip toed his way to the door, only to stop and look at the laptop.
Every ounce of common sense was telling him to not look at it, but his curiosity overpowered him and he opened up the word document to see what appeared to be a story. He scrolled to the top of the chapter and started reading. Five minutes in he shut the device with a blushing cheeks.
Holy crap, never knew Luna wrote that kind of romance. He shook his head and the flood in his loins was back with a vengeance. He stormed out of the room and threw open the bathroom door and froze. Just stepping out of the shower, with a blue towel covering her breasts and mid section was Princess Luna. Her usual flowing mane and tail were now stuck to her body. Connor’s eyes focused on a single drop of water that vanished between her breasts.
Luna’s face went red and both her wings sprung up causing the towel to unravel leaving her body completely exposed. Her breasts were at least a D cup and she had dark blue nipples. Her ass was perfectly proportioned with her breasts giving her a nice hour glass like figure. The sound of charging magic snapped the man out of the daze and he saw Luna’s horn flaring.
“I am so-”
“LECHEROUS PERVERT!” She yelled in her Royal Canterlot voice that felt similar to a gale force wind. That, accompanied with the magic missile she’d struck the man with was enough to knock the man off his feet and down the stairs. Connor only saw the hard wooden floor before he blacked out.
“Ow my fucking head.” He groaned and he slowly opened his eyes. He was on his couch and he felt something wrapped around his skull. He put his hand up to feel a bandage. The man heard sniffling from the other end of the couch and sat up to see Luna sobbing with her head buried in her knees. “Luna?” The words got the Alicorn’s attention and she looked up to see the human looking at her with a confused look on his face.
“Oh thank the creator!” She quickly hugged him and started turning his spine to dust.
“Luna...need...air!” Luna let go and glorious air repopulated the man’s lungs. He could see the tear stains on her cheeks and the whites of her eyes were red. “What happened?”
“We,” She had the look of pure shame on her face. “pushed you down the stairs after you walked in on us in the bathroom.” That brought the memory back to the man and he blushed.
“I am so sorry about that. I should have knocked.”
“No, we are sorry! We launched you down the stairs and you started bleeding.”
So that explains the bandage.
“We called Nurse Red Heart and she wrapped your head up. She said there was no real damage, only a possible concussion.” Luna was still holding her head in guilt.
“How long was I out for?”
“About three hours.” Connor felt bad for the mare and put an arm over her shoulder.
“Relax Luna, I’m fine.”
“Friends do not hurt other friends.” She sniffled.
“One time, the same thing happened to me and Twilight. She shot me through her tree house, may it rest in peace, and I landed in Sugar Cube Corner.” Luna looked at him in surprise. “It’s gonna take a lot more than a nasty tumble to take me out.”
“We still feel guilty.”
“If it makes you feel better then I did kind deserve it after showing the guys that picture I took of you in the maid outfit.” Luna frowned at the man. “I know, I’ll delete it.”
Already sent it to my E-mail anyway.
We heard that.
Goddamn it Luna! The man sighed and stood up. “It’s been a long day and I have a war to wage.”
“Ah yes, Twilight mentioned that. We wish to join your ranks.”
“Seriously?” Luna nodded. “Fine you’re in. I have an idea, it’s crazy, unethical and down right bat-shit crazy, but it just might work.”
“What is it?”
“I’ll explain tomorrow. Too tired. Night.” He waved as he headed upstairs. Luna sat alone in the living room as Nero came over and pushed her hand with her nose. She scratched the dog’s head and thought back to when the Nurse had come over.
Two hours earlier
“Did you find anything wrong with him?”
“Look,Azure, I know you want to help but there are confidentiality laws. I could loose my job and medical license.” The Nurse said as she wrapped the man’s head.
“Just tell me something, anything. Connor isn’t sleeping well, he’s eating less and it’s starting to take a toll on him.” Red Heart looked at the mare and knew she wouldn’t stop asking questions.
“You did not hear this from me, understand?” Luna nodded. “There’s a strange...inflammation in his brain. Never seen anything like it before. We sen the scans to one of Stable’s friends in Canterlot who specializes matters of the brain. That’s all I can tell you.”
“What should I do?”
“Keep a close eye on him and call me if he does anything crazy or stupid.” Luna deadpanned. “Okay, anything really crazy or stupid.”
Present
Luna sat in her room and worried about the man as she laid back in her bed and fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter 8
Revenge!
Thunderlane didn’t get a wink of sleep last night, or the night after the prank war had been declared. Large black bags hung under his eyes and his feathers were a mess. Normally the dark Pegasus took time to make himself look somewhat presentable, but he didn’t risk being pranked during his most vulnerable moments. He was soon approached by a similar looking Caramel.
“He get you yet?”
“No, I’m going bucking crazy man!” He said while shaking. “I can’t work, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, granted that last one is because AJ revoked my bed privileges for that ass comment.”
“Couch?”
“Worse, dog house and Winona hates sharing.” He cracked his back and groaned. The two heard something crash land behind them and the two took cover under a nearby bench. They heard a groaning noise and saw the blue furred Pegasus stallion shake off the crash. They saw his tired eyes and helped him up.
“Thanks guys.”
“No problem. I see you’re not fairing any better.” The three heard a giggling sound and saw the spa ponies giggling at them. Not a cute girl giggle, more like a ‘you’re fucked’ giggle. “Oh shit. They’re organized!” Caramel stated. Normally Thunderlane was level headed, but the exhaustion was clouding his judgement.
“Probably has the whole town in on it!”
“Last night I heard Dash giggling saying, ‘No way will they see this coming.’”
“He’s recruited our mare friends! This is payback for all the shit we’ve done!” Caramel gulped. The three stallions were at the end of their rope and a thought occurred to the tan stallion. “He could even recruit one of you!”
“What?” Now you’re just being paranoid.” Thunderlane stated.
“Is he?” Soarin stated. “You guys are probably plotting against me for starting this!”
“I’ll admit it’s crossed my mind.” Thunder stated. The three pounced on one another and a scuffle ensued. Soon a familiar human walked up to them shaking his head.
“Hey!” He yelled making the stallions pause. The three got to their knees and were shaking.
“Whatever prank you’re gonna pull on us, just do it!” Soarin yelled.
“We can’t take any more just get it over with!” Caramel cried. Connor threw his head back and laughed like a manic.
“You fools, I already got you.” He said as they got up. The three looked at one another in utter confusion.
“What!?” The group looked to see a familiar spirit of chaos with a bag of popcorn. The human sighed and started walking with the group following him.
“That’s right. I sat back and watched as your fear took control and made you all nervous wrecks. It was quite a show.” The three looked at one another and their jaws hung open.
“You got your revenge without doing anything?” Discord asked.
“Bingo.” Discord blinked and looked at the mortals.
“I misjudged you Connor, you’re an evil genius.” The spirit stated.
“Thank you, of course I could be lying.” He chuckled.
“Say what?” The three stallions yelled.
“Look where you’re standing.” The stallions all looked down as saw they were standing on a giant X marked in the ground. The three looked at him in shock as they heard a whistling sound. Connor pointed up and the group saw a large dot fast approaching them.
“Oh buck.” They saw a flash and the group was covered in blue gel. The three were slipping in the substance and were trying to get to their hooves. “What the hell is this stuff?”
“Poison joke in gel form. Something I had Zecora whip up for me. Which should be taking effect, right now.” Connor grinned as Thunderlane turned pink,Soarin’s wings shrank and Caramel’s voice went up three octaves. He looked up and saw a familiar blue Unicorn poking her head out from the cloud above. “Nice aim Azure.” The mare then teleported beside him and smiled.
“That was most enjoyable.” She said with a laugh.
“Yes, now duck.”
“Hm?” Connor pushed the mare down as a water balloon flew over their heads. Connor turned to see Dash wearing a headband, black paint under her eyes like a football player and a series of water balloons on her belt. Connor got to his feet and cracked his neck.
“And so it begins.” He said as he took his coat off showing a super soaker across his back and several different smoke bombs. A rubber chicken was firmly attached to his belt like a sword. Dash saw her colt friend’s wings and gasped.
“No! I wasn’t done exploring those yet!”
“D-dash!” He said in a dramatic voice. “Avenge me!” He said before fake passing out.
“NO!” Dash cried before turning to Connor who was ready for combat. Dash put two fingers to her mouth and a pink ninja appeared out of nowhere. “This. Means. War!” Dash yelled as she threw more balloons.
Connor easily dodged the and pulled out two water pistols and shot at the mare. Dash easily evaded the water blasts. Luna was now dressed in a similar spy outfit and dodged some of Pinkie’s cupcake grenades.
“私は名誉のためにこれを行う必要があります！” The pink mare cried.
*I must do this for honor!
“あなたは私たちの手に倒れなければならない！” Luna replied.
*You shall fall by out hand! Luna’s horn glowed and summoned a few pies before launching them. Pinkie pulled out a rolling pin and deflected the pie dishes of disaster. Connor ducked behind a building and brought out another water balloon. He flung it at the cyan mare, in a matrix dodge it passed over her head. She back flipped and threw two more balloons that were on a collision course with the human. Connor jumped and barrel rolled them with the rubber chicken drawn.
Luna lifted up ten cupcakes and launched them at the pastry chef, but the pink mare was too quick for her projectiles. Pinkie got in close and tried to slam a pie in the mare’s face. Luna grabbed a balloon from her belt and dodged the pink mare’s pie. Pinkie smirked and luna saw something sticking out of the pie. Her eyes shrank as she saw the barrel of Pinkie Pie’s prank cannon.
There was a flash and Luna thankfully teleported out of the way of the blast that covered the tree in what appeared to be blueberry pie. Pinkie was getting frustrated with the mare constantly dodging her shots. She only had one more round left. She grinned as she pointed the cannon at the distracted human. Connor was busy dodging Dash’s water balloons. He turned his head and his eyes shrank as he saw the cannon
“Sayōnara.” Pinkie said as she let the cannon fire. Time slowed as Connor saw the pie closing in on his face meter by meter. As it got within a foot, Connor saw a flash of blue and felt something hard knock him off his feet. Connor felt his shoulder blades dig into the ground as he groaned. He looked down to see Azure covered in blueberry pie.
“Azure why? That was meant for me.” He said as she reached up and touched his cheek.
“No, this is my time...your future lies beyond this.” She gasped and coughed up some of the blueberry sludge. Damn she’s a good actress.
Thank you.
Aren’t you supposed to be dying? Luna coughed again and gripped his shirt as she leaned closer.
“Avenge me.” Connor felt something soft press against his cheek before Luna’s head fell back and she stopped moving. The man shook his blush away and gave an angry yell. Pinkie blew her nose into a polka dotted tissue.
“The feels!” She cried as Connor closed Luna’s eyes and cracked his neck. He turned to the two mares with angry eyes and ha held a crystal in his hands. His trump card. He grabbed a smoke bomb and covered the square in a cloud of thick grey smoke. Connor put a gas mask and goggles on to shield himself from the pepper he had mixed in with the smoke. The two mares were coughing up their lungs and their eyes were burning.
The two heard magical discharge and Dash flapped her wings to make the smoke disperse. Their vision returned and they stopped cold in their tracks. Standing five meters tall was a replication of Cheese Sandwich’s party howitzer. Dash remembered that during her birth-aversary, it had broken down and Connor had helped fixed it up. Cheese was so grateful that he gave Connor one of his older models and taught him how to work it.
“This. Ends. Now!” He hit the trigger and a large flash erupted from the barrel and the two mares were engulfed in the same blue jelly that had claimed Soarin and the other stallions. Dash was still recovering from the pepper to dodged and the two were propelled back into a nearby tree.
The mares popped their heads out of the gel and waited. Dash turned maroon and Pinkie’s lips grew three sizes. Pinkie stuck her hand out and waved a white bandanna signaling their defeat. “Victory!” He yelled as he collapsed from exhaustion. Luna got to her hooves and sat down next to the man.
“Congratulations.”
“Couldn’t have done it without you Azure.” The mare blushed and leaned over towards him.
“Yes, and now here is your reward.” Connor blushed as Luna’s half lidded eyes locked with his. He was so captivated by her baby blues that he didn’t notice the pie in her hand before it was smashed on his face. “Huzzah! We are the last mare standing!”
“Not quite.” The man said as he sat up. “You see I figured you might try something so I planned ahead.” Luna saw a remote in the man’s hand and heard mechanical creaking. She looked behind her to see the cannon pointing right at her. The princess was engulfed in the same gel that had encased the other two mares and Luna’s fur was already tingling. She felt as though she was being swallowed by her fabric as she slid out of the muck.
She heard Dash’s boisterous laughter and Pinkie pie sputtering a she giggled. She looked forwards and saw the man and Discord, who had reappeared laughing on the ground.
“I take back what I said Connor,” Discord said wiping a tear from his eye. “you’re no genius. You’re a mastermind!”
“I aim to please.”
“What are you two-” Luna shut her mouth and looked down to see that her hands looked smaller. In fact, everything looked bigger to her. Luna was only an inch shorter than Connor, now he looked like a giant. “Why are my hands small?” Her voice had also changed to a more squeaking nature. Discord, gasping for breath summoned a mirror and Luna’s world shattered.
She was no taller than Pipsqueak, shorter even. Her once long mane now stopped at her shoulders. Thankfully her bracelet kept her disguise up, only now it looked like she was seven years old. “What the buck!?”
“Now now, Azure. That’s no way a young filly should talk.” Connor said in a teasing tone. Luna’s eyes were like two blue flames.
“You will pay for this!” She yelled as she charged her magic. She let loose a magic ball that deflated like a balloon before it even got within a foot of the human.
“Looks like your magic got downsized.” Discord laughed. An idea came to the man and he chuckled.
“Discord, you got a camer-” Discord was one step ahead of him and snapped a few shots of Luna, much to her rage. With another snap, the photos were materialized and Connor grinned. “Thanks, now I must leave you!”
“Get back here!” Luna would have ran after the man, if only her clothes had absorbed the effects of the putrid jelly and shrank along with her. She glared at Discord and pointed. “Give me clothes!” Discord looked down at his brown vest and red tie.
“I don’t believe we’re the same size.”
“We command you to give us clothing!” She stammered.
“Sounds like somepony’s having a temper tantrum.” Had Luna had her powers, Discord would be nothing more than a pile of ash. She realized that bargaining was her way out.
“I’ll tell you where my sister keeps her diary!” Discord’s eyes boggled and the clothes Luna had previously worn shrank to her body size.
“Deal. Now where?”
“It’s hidden inside ‘1001 Ways to Bake Cakes’ it’s on the top of her bookshelf.”
“Then I take my leave. I have some reading to do.” He vanished in a puff of smoke. Dash and Pinkie were still on the ground as Luna ran after the human who was headed towards Twilight’s castle.
~~~
It was a lazy Thursday morning. Just how Spike liked it. The teenage dragon had grown accustomed to Twilight’s crazy study habits. She spent the previous night reviewing the ancient Griffonian war. The dragon was dusting in the hallway when he heard the front door being flung open. The dragon walked towards the noise and saw the panting human.
“Um morning Connor.” The dragon said with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh good, just the dragon I wanted to see.” Connor ran up to him with a piece of paper in hand. “I need you to send this to Celestia.”
“Where are you wretch?” The squeaky voice of doom yelled out.
“Now would be appreciated.” Spike wasn’t sure what was happening and he really didn’t care. The dragon made the paper vanish in a flash of green flames as the door opened to show the small blue mare.
“Aha!” Before Connor could react the filly tackled him and her small fists pounded on his chest.
“This is the most adorable beating ever!” He cried out.
“Stay thy tongue! Where is that photo?” She yelled.
“What is with the racket?” The three looked up to see Comet in a T-shirt and shorts. His mane was a mess and he had dark circles under his eyes. He froze as he saw the blue filly on top of the man and started chuckling before bursting out into full laughter. “My ribs!”
“Stop laughing at us!” Spike’s ears perked up. There was only one pony he knew that talked like that.
“Wait a second, Princess Luna?” The filly only blushed confirming his thoughts. The dragon then joined the other men and keeled over laughing. “This is hilarious!”
“Ugh! Would everypony just shut up?” A messy haired Twilight wearing a robe. She froze as she saw the scene before her. A small blue filly beating, or attempting to beat up the human, while Spike and Comet laughing their tails off. “What is going on?”
“Poison joke fired out of a howitzer during our prank war.” Connor explained. Twilight only face palmed as Luna glared at the man.
“Where is that photo?”
“I don’t have it! I swear!”
“Then where is it?”
“You should know in three, two-” The laughter of the sun Princess echoed through the hills of Equestria and was probably heard in the Crystal Empire. Luna slowly looked at the human and frowned.
“You didn’t.”
“Oh, I did.” There was a flash of yellow light and Princess Celestia, still in her white robe wiped a tear away as she caught her breath. It was soon lost in laughter as she saw the small blue filly.
“Oh my goodness!” She cried as she fell on the floor laughing. “You look so adorable Lulu!” She scooped the filly up and squeezed her.
“Tia!” Luna said as she tried to break free from the mare’s hold. She looked at the human who was chuckling. “Help me!”
“And interrupt a tender family moment? No way.”
“We will mount your head on the wall by day’s end!”
“Sound like somepony needs a nap~” Luna was foaming at the mouth and was ready to turn the human into a scraps. An idea came to her and she looked at her sister.
“Sister, I demand he be punished!”
“Oh come now Lulu, it’s only a prank.” She then turned her attention to Connor. “Is this temporary?”
“Oh yeah, quick splash in some herbal mix and she’ll be back to abnormal.” Luna snarled at the words.
“That is not what we are referring to!” The man raised an eyebrow. What else could there be? He hasn’t done anything except...oh no. A sly smile confirmed his suspicions. “We have deduced that Connor is a pervert!” That got Celestia’s and the groups’ attention.
“I am not!”
“We were dressed in a skimpy maid outfit!” Celestia raised an eyebrow.
“That was Thunderlane and Soarin’s doing!” This girl is trying to kill me! So long as Celestia doesn’t find out about the shower walk in...wait she can’t read mind too can she?
Yeah. I can. Celestia cracked her neck and bore holes through the man.
“Total accident I swear!” Celestia only glared. “I didn’t know she was in the shower!”
“Again?” Twilight face palmed. Celestia's grew wide eyed.
“Hey Twilight launched me through her damn tree and I landed in the Cake’s oven! It took Red Heart three bucking hours to get all the splinters out of my ass! Some were the size of toothpicks.” He sized them with his fingers. “Wanna see the scars?” He shuffled with his pant buttons.
“Not necessary!” Comet said holding up a hand.
“Still, he needs to pay!” Little Luna stated. Her tone was dead serious. Celestia couldn’t help but giggle at her sister.
“Oh you’re so cute Luna.” She squeezed tighter.
“Very true.” Celestia set her down and smirked.
“Perhaps you’d like to join her?”
“Wait what?” Celestia’s horn flared and Connor felt a tingling sensation around his body. He felt his body shifting and Celestia winced as she poured more magic into the spell. She felt some sort of resistance to her magic. Soon, there was a blinding flash and Connor felt his clothes become larger. His once tight fitting shirt now seemed more like he was wearing one of Big Mac’s sweatshirts. He looked down at his small eight year old hands and growled. “Oh come on!”
“Serves you right!” Luna stuck her tongue out while the group laughed. Connor was holding up his now loose pants and hid his bright red cheeks.
“Oh you look so cute!” Celestia cooed.
“This is SO not fair!” His voice was higher pitched.
“As soon as we are restored to our proper body, then you shall.” Luna stated. Connor rubbed his face and sighed.
“Aloe and Lotus have a cure in their spa. We can go there just as soon as I get some proper clothes.” Celestia’s horn flared and her appearance shifted. Her wings vanished and her flowing mane turned to golden yellow. “What’s with the look?”
“I wish to see how this plays out and to keep Luna’s cover. So for the time being, I am her older sister Sunny Days.”
“Fine, but I still need clothes.” The front doors burst open to show a familiar white mare with a purple mane and an animal caretaker.
“I heard that somepony needed-” She froze as she saw the two de-aged individuals and she burst out in a fit of giggles. Fluttershy squeed and scooped the human up in her arms and cooed.
“Oh you’re so adorable~!”
“F-Fluttershy put me down.” The human stated. The mare ignored his cried and she squeezed him tighter. Connor’s face was a deep red, mostly due to the fact that Fluttershy was suffocating him with her strength and large breasts, not the worst way to die by any means but still.
“Idea~” Rarity chimed.
Oh god no.
What? Has she got the antidote?
No! She’s going to use us for dress up! That made Luna cringe and started to run only to be stopped by a yellow glow wrapping around her.
“Not so fast Azure~” Celestia cooed. Rarity then noticed the tall blonde mare.
“I don’t believe we’ve met.” She put her hand out. “Rarity.”
“Sunny Days, I’m Azure’s older sister.”
“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Feel free to come along.”
“You’ll pay for this!” Luna yelled as she and the human were dragged off towards the mare’s boutique. The more the man struggled in the yellow mare’s grasp the tighter she squeezed.
“Rarity please, just get us to the spa so Azure can get back to normal and then I can get my real body back.” The man pleaded.
“Sorry dear, but that’s not possible.”
“What?” Luna asked.
“After Rainbow Dash and Pinkie got cured the twins ran out of ingredients to make the antidote.”
“What!?” Luna yelled.
“Don’t worry, they already left to go see Zecora to get more ingredients, but it’ll take a few hours to collect the ingredients and brew the bath.” Fluttershy said as she rubbed the human’s head. The two entered the boutique and Connor dreaded what strange monstrosities she was going to force the two into.
“This is all your fault!” Luna said glaring at the man.
“You slammed a pie in my face! I just retaliated. It’s your fault!”
“Is not!”
“Is too!”
“Is not!”
“Is too!”
“Now, now. That’s no way to talk to friends.” Fluttershy said ever playing the role of the mother. The two turned their backs to one another. Connor was first and Rarity outfitted him into several cute outfits. Unfortunately, Dash, Pinkie and AJ walked in when he was in the dreaded sailor suit. Their laughter could be heard for miles. Luna joined in a few rounds as well.
“It’s you turn now Azure~” Connor finally got justice as he put on a pair of dark grey pants, black shirt and grey vest. Luna was squeezed into blue ballerina outfit. The amount of dawws were uncountable. Luna’s face was bright red making her look like a raspberry. Next came a dress that looked like it came out of the Victorian era, complete with a small umbrella and tiny hat.
When this is over I shall seek eternal vengeance against Generosity. Luna broadcasted into the man’s head. She then teleported the clothes she was wearing onto her body.
I get second dibs. The child walked over to his battle clothes and grinned. He had one more smoke bomb. Luna, on my mark make for the door. We find Zecora, get her to make you an antidote. Then you turn me back to normal. Deal?
Deal. While the vultures of fashion weren’t looking, Connor and Luna nodded. The two slowly snuck towards the door. A rope then came around the two and dragged them back inside.
“Just where do ya think you two are headed?” AJ asked sweetly.
“To see if they have the ingredients ready so I can get back to normal!” Connor yelled as he and Luna struggled in the restraints.
“Just one more outfit please?” Rarity whined. She gave them both puppy dog eyes. “Then we’ll let you both go.”
“Pinkie promise?” Rarity went through the motions and nodded. “Fine, but just one more!” Rarity beamed and the two walked back into the changing room. Connor found what looked like a tuxedo. He groaned and put the infernal thing on, if he were normal size then he would have taken time to admire Rarity’s work. Right now all he wants to do is get back to normal. He came out and grumbles as all the mares cooed.
“Oh you look so handsome!” Pinkie chimed. The sound of a curtain moving caught the group’s attention. Connor’s face went bright red. There was the little Princess wearing what looked like a blue wedding gown. A small tiara sat atop her head and a small bouquet of flowers in her hand.
“Why do you have us in a wedding...oh.” She blushed brightly as she looked at Connor. The mares all squealed at the cuteness and rarity took a few pictures before the two went back inside their dressing rooms. Thankfully Connor was given a grey long sleeve shirt and blue jeans for a more contemporary look.
“A deal is a deal Rarity. Now can we go?”
“Fine.” She sighed. As they were walking towards the door, they noticed that the mares were following.
“So what do you two want to do now?” Pinkie asked.
“Go home and wait for the antidote.”
“I second that.” Luna said. Pinkie gasped and jumped in front of the two.
“Wait a second, you have a chance to relive your childhood and you’re not going to enjoy it?”
“Um, yeah?” Luna immediately regretted the answer as Pinkie frowned. Few ponies can say that they’ve seen Pinkie angry. This was a first for the human.
“There is no way that I am going to let you two squander this opportunity!”
“You’re not?” Both of the youths said unison. Pinkie then picked them up under each arm like she was carrying two bags of potatoes. She stomped through town making a scene and Connor heard giggles from all sides.
Luna, if we kill them can we get charged as minors?
I was wondering that myself. The group found themselves at Sugar Cube Corner. The two were sat down across from one another in a booth and waited. Pinkie came out with a plate stacked high with a large cake, covered in several different kinds of ice cream complete with three cherries on top. The groups’ jaws hung low at the sight and Celestia’s mouth was watering.
“Behold, the ultra, super, awesome triple layered cake. It’s got everything. A layer of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. Topped with three different kinds of ice cream and three cherries.” Pinkie said in a very pride filled tone.
“It’s too awesome.” Dash said.
“It’s beautiful.” Celestia said with a sniffle.
“It’s...there are no words.” Rarity said. Luna and Connor’s eyes were wide.
“C-can we eat it?” Luna asked.
“I don’t know,” Pinkie pulled out two metal spoons. “can you?”
“Challenge accepted!” Connor stated as he grabbed a spoon and dug into the masterpiece before him. Luna was right behind him with spoon in hand. Ten minutes forty-five seconds. That’s how long it took to completely devour the sugary creation in front of them. The bowl was nearly empty, only one last cherry remained. Luna’s eyes were fixed on the small red fruit. Connor sighed and shook his head.
“Go ahead, have the last cherry.” All eyes turned to the man. Though it may not seem like a big gesture, for a child offering the last cherry was like giving the other a kidney.
“Th-thank you.” Luna said with a blush on her face. Rarity couldn’t help but fawn at the words.
“So now what?” Fluttershy asked.
“Well, they just ate about fifteen pounds of sugar. So now all that energy has to go somewhere.” Dash said. The mare had an evil idea and ‘booped’ the human’s nose.
“Tag you’re it!” The mare then hightailed it out of the boutique with the human running close behind. The mares all looked at one another and couldn’t help but giggle.
“C’mon, we’d better make sure they don’t hurt themselves.” Twilight sighed. While the mares trailed behind at their own pace, the two downsized adults were tearing their way through market street.
“Get back here!” Connor yelled.
“You gotta catch me!” Luna teased. She was so busy taunting the man that she didn’t see the pony she barreled into. Luna landed on her butt as the stranger fell back.
“Hey watch where you’re going!” A female voice cried out.
“Why don’t you watch where your standing?” Luna shook her head and saw a white Unicorn mare with electric blue hair standing up. The mare adjusted her sun glasses and frowned at the filly before she was tackled by the human.
“Ha! Got you.” The human then noticed the mare and his jaw dropped. “Vinyl? When did you get back?”
“Do I know you?” Vinyl raised an eyebrow at the child. She had seen several humans on her most recent tour, but never actually got to know them too well.
“I bring your speakers back from the grave and you still don’t recognize me?” The child deadpanned. Vinyl’s jaw dropped and her red eyes looked over the child again. The gears stopped turning as everything fell into place.
“Connor!?”
“Took you long enough.” The mare burst into laughter as she clutched her stomach. “Yeah, yeah laugh it up.”
“The hell happened? You’re tiny!” He shot a dark look at Luna who only grinned sheepishly.
“Magic mishap.” Before Vinyl could continue laughing the group was approached by a charcoal Earth pony mare that had a refined air about her.
“Vinyl, I told you not to cause a scene.” She sighed.
“Oh relax Tavi.” Luna tapped on the boy’s shoulder to get his attention,
Who are they? They look familiar.
The white one is Vinyl Scratch, AKA: DJ Pon-3. She runs the music shop in town and is a DJ.
Why haven’t I seen her around?
Last I checked, she was on a tour.
And the grey one?
That’s Octavia, she’s a cellist in the Canterlot orchestra and Vinyl’s mare friend.
Mare friend?
Yup. The white mare rolled her eyes as Octavia lectured.
“Relax Octy, I was just,” She gilled as she pointed to the tiny human. “catching up with Connor.” Octavia looked at the young child and her eyes shrank.
“Oh my word.” She stifled a giggle. “What happened?”
“Long story.” The man face palmed.
“And who is this?” Octy looked at the blue filly. Luna smirked and gave them her best puppy dog eyes.
“Hewwo, my name is Azure.” She cranked her cuteness factor up to eleven with that sentence.
“Daww, what a sweet little filly.” Octavia cooed.
Yes, do my bidding mortal.
I heard that. Luna blushed as she realized she accidentally transmitted her thoughts into the man’s head.
“Don’t let her looks fool you, she’s a LOT older than she appears.” That earned him a slap in the back of the head from the mare. “Ow!”
“It’s not nice to make fun of a mare’s age.” Octavia lectured.
“I wasn’t! Azure got hit with poison joke, that’s why she looks so young.” He said as he rubbed the sore spot on his scalp.
“So that’s what happened to you too?” The white mare asked.
“No, I did that.” Azure said. “It’s his fault I’m like this anyway.”
“It was a prank war! What did you expect!?” Vinyl snapper her fingers.
“That explains the giant cannon I saw.” Connor sighed and turned his attention back to explaining their problem.
“So now I’m stuck like this until Azure here gets cured.” He grumbled.
“Poison Joke? I've got a cure for that.” Three heads turned towards the DJ.
“You do?” The three said in unison.
“Yeah, I was saving it for when I put some poison joke in Octy’s tea so she-”
“You were going to do what!?” The grey mare said as she glared daggers into her mare friend.
“Awe man!” Vinyl whined.
“Can we please get that cure? I don’t think I can take another round of dress up from Rarity.” Connor shivered at the thought of what other options the white fashionista’s demented brain could cook up.
“You poor child.” Vinyl gulped. She remembered when Rarity practically abducted her and made her try on formal wear. A DJ's worst nightmare. “Let’s get her a bath.”
“Thank you!” The two youths said in unison as they followed the mares.
“So how exactly do you two know each other?” Octavia asked as she looked at the filly.
“We’re roommates.” Connor stated flatly.
“Since when did you get a roommate?” Vinyl said as she looked at the human.
“About a month ago and I got out of the hospital. She’s Twi’s pen pal and I owed her a favor.”
“Right, I heard about the Tirek thing.” Vinyl said as they arrived at her and Tavi’s home. Vinyl walked over to her bathroom and pulled out a vial of blue liquid. “Here we are. You can use our bath if you want.”
“Thank you.” Luna said as she walked inside and closed the door behind her. Connor felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and answered the call.
“Hello?”
“Connor where did you and Azure go?” The librarian asked in a worried tone.
“We ran into Vinyl and Octavia. Vi has a poison joke cure and Azure is using it now, so tell Rarity to put her needle away. We’ll be back to normal size post haste.” He said ina triumphant tone.
“We’ll be right over.” Connor sat on the couch and waited until Luna was cured. Thanks to Discord, the mare’s clothes adjusted to her body size. When Luna came out Vinyl gave a whistle of approval.
“Nice catch Connor.” The man’s face grew bright red at the words and the group heard a knocking at the door. Octavia opened the door to see Twilight, Sunny, Dash and Rarity.
“Azure, I’d like to be normal sized now.”
“Oh but you look so cute~” Rarity cooed. “I have so many more designs I want to try.” There was only so much one man can take before he reaches his limit.
“Try it and I’ll dye your coat green while your sleeping!” The mare immediately backed off and she gulped. Rarity knew that the human always followed up on his threats. “Azure, please.” He begged. “I’d rather die than go through puberty again.”
“Fine, hold still.” Azure’s hands and horn glowed as she charged the spell. Sunny blinked and put a finger to her chin as she tapped on Twilight’s shoulder.
“Twilight.”
“Yes, Prin- I mean Sunny?” She quickly corrected herself.
“We brought Connor to Rarity’s boutique because he the spell I casted on him didn’t affect his clothes right?” Twilight nodded. “So what’s going to happen when-” The entire room was encased in blue light and the mares all covered their eyes and a faint ripping sound could be heard. The human stood frozen with his eyes closed for what felt like minutes. He opened his eyes to see his normal twenty-six year old hands.
“Yes! Back to normal. Nice work Azu-” He stopped when he saw Dash on the ground laughing her ass off. Octavia, Rarity and Twilight had crimson red cheeks. Vinyl’s sun glasses slid off her nose and clattered against the floor, revealing her wide eyes. Luna’s face was the deepest shade of red the man had ever seen. While Celestia was biting her lip to stifle a giggle. “Why are you all looking at me like that and why is it cold in here all of a sudden?”
“Damn, nice work Azure.” Vinyl chimed. Connor only looked at the mare in utter confusion.
“Um Conner, you might want to look down.” Celestia giggled as she looked at her sister’s red cheeks, wide eyes and she could just make out the smile slightly tugging at her lips. The man slowly looked down to see his naked skin a few ripped pieces of clothing on the floor near his feet. Any other guy would have died of mortification, Connor thought about doing just that until he hatched a plant.
“Twilight, Azure.” Their names being called snapped the mares out of their trance. “Consider us even.” Twilight keeled over from embarrassment right there. Vinyl quickly threw him a blanket which he used as a toga. “Thank you Vinyl.” The covering of the man’s naked body brought the mares back to reality. “Now, I’m going to go home and drink until I can’t remember what happened today.” He then looked at Luna.
“What?” She asked trying to advert her eyes from the man in the vain hopes of hiding her blush.
“I think it’d be better if you teleported us than walk through town like this. I mean, what would the public think?” He looked at the two musicians. Luna put a hand on the man’s exposed shoulder and charged her magic. The two found themselves inside their living room. Connor quickly made his way into his room and grabbed a fresh set of clothes before coming back down. Luna still couldn’t get that naked image of the man out of her head and was blushing brightly.
“We are so sorry Connor! We should have known your clothes wouldn’t have grown with your body.” The man waved her off and shrugged.
“Relax, it was an accident. Besides now we’re even.” He said as he sat down next to her. The man looked at his phone and he gasped. “I completely forgot! It’s trilogy day!”
“What day?” Luna asked.
“I watch the original Star Wars Trilogy back to back once a year!”
“Why?”
“Because the Empire wins if I don’t!” Luna raised an eyebrow at the man's words.
“I see. Just one question, what is Star Wars?” The man froze in place and dropped the remote. Time slowed as the device clattered against the hard wood floor. Luna saw shock and horror in the man’s eyes.
“What did you just say?”
“We’ve never heard of Star Wars.” Nope. He hadn’t heard wrong.
“What rock have you been living under woman!?” He yelled.
“The one floating in the sky for the past thousand years.” She dead panned.
“Okay, fair enough. To answer your question, Star Wars is one of the greatest film in the history of man and soon to be, pony-kind.” The man’s door bell rang and Connor answered it to see the white earth pony colt, this time dressed in normal clothes. “Pip, ya made it.”
“Uh-huh!” He smiled as he walked in to see Azure. “Greetings lass.” He said quickly adapting his pirate persona.
“Azure is gonna watch with us captain. She’s never seen it.” Pip gasped.
“Ye been marooned on an island landlubber?” Luna just frowned, but she couldn’t stay mad at the colt. Connor brought out his collector’s edition version of the original Star Wars trilogy.
“Now before we begin this epic quest, you two must know one thing;” The two leaned in closer to the man. “Han. Shot. First.” The man popped in the disk and took his seat between the two as they relived the story that took place a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
~~~
Meanwhile at Princess Twilight’s castle, the six mares and Sunny sat at the large table in deep discussion. Dash then stood up and slammed her hands on the crystal table. “I say we do it! I mean we all saw her reaction!” The cyan mare said.
“I must agree with you darling.” Rarity chimed. “Besides they looked positively adorable together.” The mares all gave a nod.
“Um, isn’t it rude to invade someone’s personal life? Especially when it comes to romance?” Fluttershy asked in her usual timid tone.
“Normally I’d agree with you darling,” The fashionista stated. “but if what Azure told us is true, then it’s been ages since she’s had a stallion’s or in this case, a man’s company.”
“I’m fairly certain, at least to my knowledge that Azure hasn’t had any intimate experiences.” Sunny stated. “From what she’s told me anyway.”
“I don’t know girls.” Twilight began. “You know that Connor doesn’t like others butting into his personal life and this is a huge invasion of privacy.” Twilight was also silently factoring in Azure’s true identity.
“Come on Twilight.” Pinkie whined.
“Ya gotta admit sugar cube, they do seem good together.” The farmer stated. “Plus ah really don’t think that Azure is the type of gal to judge a guy for being who he is.” Twilight knew what AJ was referring to. “Besides we owe the feller a lot. Heck without him we’d all still be single.” The mares all gave a nod at the words.
“Well, if it means anything, then I approve.” Sunny chimed in. “I’ve read the letters Twilight has sent to Azure and Connor sounds like an upstanding young man.”
“Thanks for the support Sunny.” Dash said. “Okay voting time. All those in favor of hooking Azure up with Connor?” Everypony raised their hands, Twilight was slightly more hesitant than the others.
“Great. We’ll meet here tomorrow and form a strategy.” Rarity chimed as the mares all left to get a good night’s sleep.
Chapter 9: The Broken Armor
Chapter 9
The Broken Armor
For once in what felt like months, the man had a full night’s sleep without any kind of crazy dream. Although, he did feel an odd weight on his chest. He slowly opened his eyes to see that he was on his couch, Pip was asleep on the floor with a blanket draped over him. Connor felt movement and looked down only to have his face flush deep red. There, with her arm’s wrapped around the man’s torso and using his chest as a pillow was Princess Luna without her disguise on. She let out a soft snore as she nuzzled his chest.
She’s really cute like this.
Shut up brain. If Pip wakes up and sees her then we’re both screwed. The man tried to lightly lift the mare’s arm off him, but the mare only squeezed tighter and she groaned.
“No Tia....this is my cake.” She said in a groggy tone. The man concluded that she was dreaming. “I won’t let you taste it before me.” The man then felt something wet and rough graze across his neck and slide over his cheek up to is hairline. The human had just been licked by Princess Luna. The sensation stopped when she reached his hair making her cough. Luna’s eyes slowly opened and her sight registered. She looked down at the human and blushed red as she noticed the fresh saliva trail going across his face.
Connor only sighed and with as much dignity as he could muster. Said this.
“So how do I taste?” Luna’s blush only deepened and instantly jumped off the man landing on the other end of the couch. Connor sat up and realized his face was burning bright red.
“We are most sor-” The man quickly tackled her and put his hand over her mouth. Luna’s blush increased as she felt his chest press against her body. The man put a finger to his lips and made the ‘shhh’ sound. He motioned his head towards the sleeping colt and leaned in to whisper.
“You don’t have your disguise on. If Pip sees you he’ll flip.” Luna nodded and the man got off him. The Princess hurried upstairs as the young colt stirred.
“Ugh, that be the last time the captain drinks too much grog.”
“You had apple cider.”
“The captain says grog!” The child yawned. Connor looked at the clock and his eyes shrank.
“Pip, get your stuff. Cherilee is going to kill me if you’re late for school.”
“Relax,” He said switching back to his normal way of speaking. “there’s no school today.” The man looked out the window and saw that it was a nice autumn day out.
“Why?”
“Are ye soft in the head? It’s Nightmare Night!”
It is? The human checked the calendar and saw that it was indeed Nightmare Night. Yes free candy! The two then heard a low pitched moan.
“See? The spirits are restless!” He said as he walked over to the table and Connor set out some cereal bowls.
~~~
In the upstairs bathroom Luna let the warm water wash over her fur and she ran her fingers through her mane and tail. Her blushing cheeks wouldn’t cease even when she changed to cold water it wouldn’t quell her flushing cheeks.
It was bad enough that I saw him exposed, now I’ve just licked him! She thought with blushing cheeks.
It wasn’t a bad sight. He was as big as an average stallion, perhaps a little bigger?
Silence! Luna turned the water off and quickly got dressed before putting on her disguise. She walked down to see the two at the breakfast table.
“Morning Azure.” Connor said with a smile. “Pip here was just telling me that it’s Nightmare Night.”
“Oh, I hadn’t noticed.” Luna had a hint of sadness in her tone.
“What are you going as?” Pip asked.
“I am not going to celebrate.” The young colt almost spat out his mouthful of orange juice at the words.
“WHAT? How can you not celebrate Nightmare Night? It’s like the best holiday ever!” Luna sighed at the words. “Hey Connor, do you think Princess Luna will show up?” Azure and the human gulped.
“I’m not sure Pip. What do you think Azure?” Luna glared at the human.
What are you doing?
Hey it’s your holiday. Who am I to speak for you? A familiar Old Spice jingle then caught the man’s attention. He saw it was Twilight and answered it. “Hey Twi, what’s up?....Uh, sure I can come over....Okay I’ll see you in a few.” He hung up the phone and looked at the two ponies.
“Who was that?” Pip asked.
“Twilight. She wanted to talk to me about something so I’m heading out now, Twilight gets anal about punctuality.” Luna giggled as she remembered Tia telling her about her student’s many freak outs. “See you later tonight Pip.” The man said before walking out the door into the streets of Ponyville.
As he walked through the sleepy town he saw that Pinkie had already started working on the decorations for the Nightmare Night festival. He climbed the familiar crystal steps leading to the Castle of Friendship as it came to be called by the locals. Connor walked inside to see Spike hanging up decorations inside on a ladder that looked rather unstable. “Morning Spike.” The man’s voice startled the young drake making him loose his balance on the ladder and falling towards the ground.
Connor winced as the dragon hit the ground hard. Connor would be more worried if he didn’t know that Spike’s scales were thicker than metal. The dragon shook his head and he groaned. “Sorry about that.”
“Relax I’m fine. Thick scales.” He said as he stood up.
“Twilight said she wanted to talk to me.”
“Yeah they’re in the meeting room.”
“They?” Connor asked.
“Princess Cadence is here too.” Connor raised an eyebrow as to why the Princess of Love was present. He thanked the dragon and made his way through the crystal hallways until they got to the meeting room. He opened to door to see a very pregnant Princess Cadence.
Might need to change her name to Princess Tubby. He chuckled as he walked over to the mares. “Morning Princess.” Cadence put her hands on her swollen stomach.
“Oh Connor, I want you to feel something!” The man raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t want to argue with a pregnant Princess. As he got closer the mare slapped the man’s head so hard he spun and landed on the floor.
“Ow! What was that for?” The man yelled as he rubbed his cheek that now had a bright red hand print imprinted on it.
“Don’t call me tubby!” The pink mare pouted.
Pregnant witch. How’d she hit so hard anyway?
Pregnancy strength. She frowned at the man as Twilight entered the room. Connor gripped his hair and gritted his teeth.
“I am sick and tired of you Alicorns constantly reading my mind!”
“We can do that?” Twilight asked in surprise.
“Oh no, not you too. It’s bad enough Luna does ti twenty-four seven!” The man shivered as he thought of the lavender mare constantly reading his mind. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. “Now why did you call me here Twilight?” The lavender mare sat down beside her sister in law.
“You don’t remember?” The man remained silent at the words.
“Remember what?” Twilight sighed and rubbed her head.
“Remember what you promised us at my wedding?” Cadence asked. Connor sat back and the events of the wedding played out in his mind.
~~~
Eighteen months ago
Connor was walking with Twilight and the newly rescued Princess Cadence. After proving her to be the real Cadence, through some form of old dance that she and Twilight did when they were younger. Connor recorded the jig with his phone so he could blackmail the Unicorn later. The trio set out to find a way out of the cave they had been trapped in for god knows how long. Twilight noticed that the human was more jumpy than usual and tried to lighten the mood with some conversation.
“Hey Connor mind if I ask you something?”
“What?”
“Why did you believe me?” The man and the Alicorn looked at her in confusion. “Everypony else didn’t, so why did you?”
“Humans have this little sense in them, call it gut instinct, or whatever. Point is I felt that something was wrong and you felt the same.” Twilight could see the frightening look in the man’s eyes and he gulped. Being the Princess of Love gave Cadence a few more magical perks than that of an average Unicorn, one being the ability to read someone’s heart and feelings. Right now the man felt like he was about to die of sheer terror, no mater how well he hid it.
“Connor is it?” The man nodded at the pink Alicorn. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Let’s see, I’m in an abandoned cave with virtually no way out stuck with two magical being in another dimension and to top it off theres some evil Queen thing about to overthrow the country! So yeah my day’s kinda fucked up, thanks for asking!” Twilight recoiled at the man’s harsh words as he buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry about that. I hate being locked up, it brings back...memories.” He shivered. Cadence sighed deeply and stepped forwards.
“It’s okay, we’re all on edge, what’s important right now is that we keep our heads cool and find a way out of here.” Twilight and the human nodded as they continued through the caves and found an old mine cart. The two mares go in while the human started to push and hoped in as it got moving.
“Is this really a good idea?” Twilight gulped as she looked at the old tracks.
“There’s an old Earth saying Twilight, a phrase of great power, wisdom, and gives consolation to the soul in times of need.”
“What is it?” Cadence asked as they started going over the edge.
“ALLONS-Y!” He yelled as they went down into the darkness of the old mine and zipped around the tracks like in the second Indiana Jones movie. The human could feel the adrenaline running through his body. His eyes shrank when he saw the end of the tracks. He felt a handgrip his wrist and his body being torn upwards. He looked up to see Cadence holding Twilight’s hand and purple mare clinging onto his arm.
“Oof, this is heavy.” Cadence groaned. Carrying Shining around was a chore in itself, but a pony and a human? Not to mention she had been in that cave for over a week, maybe longer, so she wasn’t in the best of shape.
“Sounds like you need to start working out Twi.” Connor said trying to lighten the mood.
“I will drop you.”
“You better not, cause then you’re taking care of my kids.”
“You have kids!?” The lavender mare yelled.
“Probably.” Twilight’s right eye twitched. “That was a joke Twilight.” He felt the mare’s grip loosen and he gripped tighter. “Hey!”
“What? It was just a joke.” She stuck her tongue out at him.
“Would you two please shut up!? This is hard enough as it is!” Cadence groaned. Luckily the trio saw light coming from a crack ahead and the pink mar put the last of her strength into her wings and they managed to land close to it. The three then saw three brainwashed mares blocking their path. Twilight recognized them as the former bride’s mares. While Connor was getting ready to beat them down Cadence formed an alternate solution involving her damaged bouquet. The three mares chased after the flowers when thrown like three cats after a yarn ball.
“Did that seriously just fucking happen!?” The man yelled in astonishment.
“Less talking, more running!” Twilight yelled. The cave opened out into the gardens of Canterlot. The three rushed inside the castle only to be stopped by a large Unicorn stallion with a dark red mane, beard and tail wearing golden armor.
“Halt!”
“Look pal, I don’t have time to play games. We’re late for a wedding.” Connor growled.
“What makes you think a thing lie you can just walk in and stop the matrimony.” Connor pointed to the pink mare.
“Can’t have a wedding without the bride can ya?” The stallion was utterly shocked. He had seen Princess Cadence just that morning getting ready for her big day. Something was telling him that the thing in front of him was telling the truth but he had to be sure. “Listen to me. The Princess Cadence that Captain Gleaming Shield-”
“Shining Armor.” Twilight corrected.
“Is about to marry is a fake! If we don’t stop this then all of Canterlot will be destroyed, then all of Equestria!” The stallion got in the human’s face and snorted.
“What if you’re wrong?”
“If I’m wrong nothing happens! They go to prison, peacefully quietly, they’ll enjoy it!”
“What about you?” Twilight asked.
“I’m never going back in a cell and Cadence is royalty she’ll get out. Besides I am way to pretty to be in prison.”
“What about me?” Connor scanned the mare up and down and shrugged.
“You’ll be fine.” Twilight growled at the words. Connor turned back to the guard and sighed. “Ask yourself this, what if we’re right? Say this grand plan fails and the fake is found out anyway. Celestia is gonna wanna know who threw the only people who knew about it in the slammer. How do you think Celestia would react to something like that ladies?”
“Unpleasantly.” Cadence replied. The guard only gulped at the thought of the furry of the sun coming down on him. He looked beside the man and noticed the lavender mare. He remembered Shining speaking of her quite fondly and knew that she was Princess Celestia’s personal student.
“You two trust this...thing?” Cadence looked to Twilight. She had only known the human for over a few hours and didn’t know what to say.
“I absolutely trust him.” Twilight stated firmly.
“He’s not crazy is he?” Twilight gulped and looked at the human.
“I absolutely trust him.” The clock on the wall rang and signaled that the ceremony had begun. Cadence stepped forward and took in a deep breath.
“Gather any remaining guards and have them secure the castle. We’ll deal with the impostor.” The guard saluted and ran off to find more guards. The trio quickly made their way through the halls.
“What was that about, ‘never going back in a cell?’” Twilight asked as she looked at the man.
“Twilight, this really isn’t the time for that.”
“I want an answer!” Twilight yelled. The three stopped and Connor bit his lip.
“Look it is a very, very long story. I promise I’ll tell you” He picked a random date in his head. “next Halloween.”
“What?”
“The holiday with the masks and candy.”
“Nightmare Night?” Cadence said.
“Yeah that. I’ll tell you then. Pinkie Promise.” Twilight sighed and nodded while Connor deviated from the course.
“Where are you going?” Cadence yelled.
“I’ll meet you there!” He yelled as he continued down the corridor and the mares raced to save not only Shining Armor, but their country as well.
~~~
Present.
The human let out a sigh as he remembered his promise and looked at the two mares. Twilight was sitting with her arms crossed and Cadence had a skeptic look on her face. “Okay, a promise is a promise, after all, I don’t want to suffer Pinkie’s wrath.” As much as he loved Pinkie as a friend, she could be very scary sometimes, especially when it came to her holy Pinkie Promises. “But, I have a few conditions.”
“What are they?”
“First off, hold all questions to the end and don’t start judging before I finish.” The two mares gave each other a nervous look. “Second, you two don’t tell anyone! If they ask then I’ll tell them, but it’s not your story to tell.”
“That sounds fair.”
“Third, I am not going to tell you guys everything about me.”
“Don’t you trust me?” Twilight asked sounding a little hurt.
“Of course I trust you Twilight. It’s just,” The man hung his head and sighed. “there are some things that I don’t want people to know. Things that are very...personal.”
“Okay, we all have skeletons in out closet.” Cadence said.
“Thanks and finally, I’m gonna need some booze.”
~~~
Luna was sitting in the living room of the man’s home with an extremely bored look on her face. She held a magazine in her hands trying to keep her mind off the man and the incident last night.
After Connor and Pip had fallen asleep, the man started shaking in his sleep and started mumbling a woman’s name. Anna Luna remembered.
Must be his girlfriend. She felt a small pang of depression went through her body. Luna didn’t want o get the human angry by intruding his dreams. The least she could do was stop them, but that required physical contact. The mare blushed heavily and rested her head against his chest. Why does he smell so good? The mare adjusted her head so it was just below his chin and made sure not to poke him with her horn.
The mare stopped her train of thought and felt her cheeks heating up at the memory. Luna decided to go for a walk in order to clear her head and get her mind off the human. She grabbed her blue hoodie and made her way out of the man’s home. As she walked through the town she groaned as she saw the decorations of Nightmare Night. The Princess huffed and made her way towards the outskirts of town. A familiar red barn caught her eye and made her way up the dirt road towards the farm.
She took time to admire the apple orchard and the vast amount of crops the farmers had planted. Luna continued on her way towards the barn house and saw a familiar red furred stallion moving a hay bale into a large carriage. The stallion set the bale down and saw the blue mare.
“Afternoon Ms. Star.”
“Good afternoon to you too Macintosh and please cal me Azure.” The stallion nodded. “What are you doing with the hay bales?”
“Ah give the colts and fillies a ride around town in the carriage for the festival tonight.” Luna remembers the large stallion hauling some of the foals in the carriage last year. “Will ah being see you around tonight?”
“No, we do not celebrate Nightmare Night.” The stallion raised an eyebrow.
“Why not?”
“I prefer not to say.”
“Alright ah won’t pry. Just bit odd that you don’t celebrate your own holiday.” Mac immediately regretted those words as he felt the icy blue eyes of death on him. Luna narrowed her eyes on the stallion.
“What did you just say?”
“N-nothing.” He was a worse liar than Applejack. Luna’s eyes continued to burn through the stallion’s feeble defense. “Fine, you win. AJ told me a few days ago. We both can’t tell a lie to save our skin.”
“Who have you told?”
“No one. Ah swear.” Luna looked for any indication that he was lying, but found none. The two were interrupted by a familiar orange farmer rounding the corner. She froze as she saw the two.
“Afternoon Azure.” She tipped her hat to the mare.
“Applejack.” She said in a flat tone. The farmer looked at her brother who had a guilty look on his face. The farmer gulped as she guessed what happened. “He told ya he knew didn’t he?”
“Eeyup.” The stallion said as he returned to work. The orange farmer scratched her head and sighed.
“Ah’m sorry Luna, but Mac was starting to catch on anyway. He had almost everything figured out. Besides it wasn’t right lying to him.” Luna sighed and nodded.
“Have you told anyone else?”
“Nope. Ah knew Apple Bloom would blab it to all her friends and Granny is a chatterbox. Ah think that’s where she gets it from.” She chuckled. “So what brings ya here?”
“Oh I was just out for a walk and decided to see the orchard. I never got the chance the last time I was here.”
“Well, there ain’t much to look at.” She pointed to the orchard. “Out there is where all the magic happens.” The farmer then started showing Luna around the barn. Luna learned that the mare and her brother inherited it from their late parents. Luna didn’t comment on that fact. Something shiny caught the mare’s eye and she levitated a battered chest plate from a Royal guard’s armor. She kept digging and found the rest of the armor in complete disrepair.
“You did not tell us your father was in the Royal Guard.” She said as she looked at the armor.
“He wasn’t.” AJ said as she walked over to the armor. “Oh, so that’s where that went! That there belongs to Connor.” Luna looked at the mare in surprise. “He wore it when Tirek came along, darn thing saved his life.”
“Where did he get this?”
“He used that thing to fight at the Changeling invasion.”
“He was there?” Luna was busy guarding the archives with her night guard down below the castle.
“Sure was, went against the Queen herself. He didn’t tell you?” Luna shook her head.
“Would you min telling me what happened?” AJ nodded and lead her inside to the kitchen. Granny Smith was making her famous apple pies and the air had the sweet scent of cinnamon looming over it. AJ grabbed them each a glass and sat down as she began her tale.
~~~
Twilight and Cadence arrived at the hall and started banging on the door, but no pony would answer their cries. Twilight thought and asked herself.
What would Connor do? She blinked and backed up while charging her horn and channeled her magic to her hooves. She charged forwards and slammed both of her hooves into the door. The double doors broke free from their hinges and fell to the floor with a slam. Wow, that did feel awesome! She had to thank the human later, but first she stepped out of the dust cloud panting.
At the end of the aisle stood her brother, her mentor, her friends and the witch. “Stop!” She yelled at the top of her lungs. Her friends all face palmed in embarrassment while Celestia shook her head in disappointment. “Princess you have to stop this ceremony! That’s not Princess Cadence!” All eyes turned to the pink Alicorn that stood beside Shining Armor. She had tears in her eyes.
“Wh-why are you doing this?”
“Because that’s my husband you bitch!” The crowd froze and turned back to the lavender mare. Beside her was a filthy and exhausted Princess Cadence.
“Wait, ah don’t get it. How can there be two of them?” The orange farmer asked as she scratched her head.
“She’s a Changeling. A creature that transforms into somepony you love and feeds off that love for their own power.” The group took a few steps away from the Princess as the false Cadence started chuckling that soon changed into maniacal laughter. There was a flash of green light that encircled the false Cadence and her form changed. Her once pink fur was now jet black and looked more like an insect’s exoskeleton, her beautiful hair turned dark green and her eyes shifted to spliced pupils.
“Well, the cat is out of the bag as they say.” She crossed her arms and chuckled. “I am Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings. As Queen, it is my duty to secure love for my hive to feed on and Equestria has more than enough love to go around.” Several guard drew their spears and charged. The Queen snapped her fingers and the guards were blasted away by green bolts of energy. “As I was saying, while every one of you were distracted by this wedding, my Changeling army have been slowly chipping away at Shining Armor’s shield.”
The mares all looked out the windows and saw thousands of Changelings slamming against the purple dome shield that encircled all of Canterlot. “When they break through, all of Canterlot will fall. Then all of Equestria!”
“Not quite.” Chrysalis held a confident smile as Celestia stepped forwards and cracked her neck. “Now that you have so foolishly revealed yourself, It is my duty to protect my subjects from you!” Celestia’s horn flared and her flowing white dress was replaced with golden armor that shined in the sunlight and a long halberd with a picture of the sun carved into the blade. Chrysalis snapped her fingers and summoned a long jagged scythe.
“I always did want to test my metal against you Celestia. I guess today is a win-win.” Celestia charged forwards and locked blows with the Queen. The tiled floor was cracking from the magical pressure from the two leaders. Celestia bit her lip as she tried to hold the stance, but felt the Queen overpowering her. Celestia broke the standoff and flew up high before letting loose a volley of yellow fireballs.
The Queen threw up a large shield and winced as she felt her hooves sliding back. After downing the shield, Chrysalis saw Celestia charging and parried her attack. Chrysalis panted and saw a bit of her mane fall to the floor. “We’re going to be at this all day aren’t we?” Chrysalis sighed and knew that she couldn’t last much longer like this. She looked past Celestia and saw the seven mares trying to snap Shining Armor out of his trance.
The Queen grinned and charged the magic in her horn before letting loose a massive beam. Celestia dodged the blast with ease but froze when she saw that the beam was heading straight for Twilight and her friends. Celestia poured whatever power she had left into her weapon and Teleported in front of the blast. The Princess let out a blast of her own trying to redirect the blast. The two magic missiles were neck and neck. Chrysalis bit her lip and put everything she had into the blast and slowly started to fight the yellow death ray.
Celestia’s eyes shrank as she saw the green energy breaking through her own. The green beam struck the Princess. Celestia was thrown back into the wall. Her armor was in pieces and her horn was severely damaged. The Princess felt blood fill her mouth and coughed as she tried to stand.
“Princess!” Twilight yelled as she hurried over to her mentor. The lavender mare had never seen her mentor look so beaten.
“T-Twilight. Get the Elements they have the power to defeat the Queen.” Celestia said with a heavy pant. The mare reluctantly nodded and wiped her tears away.
“Oh I don’t think you’re going anywhere.” Twilight slowly turned around to see the Queen holding the scythe over her head, getting ready to take the mare’s head off. “I had wanted to see the look on your face when you saw your precious home fall, but I’ll make due with mounting your head on my wall!”
“Mount this!” The Queen looked to her right just in time to see an armored fist collide with her face. Chrysalis was propelled back into one of the marble pillars. The Queen groaned as she heard a cracking sound and the pillar fell on top of her. Twilight blinked and turned back to the source of the impact. Through the dust she saw a tall armored figure. The armor looked similar to the ones the Royal Guard used, only it looked sleeker and was tinted a dark grey color. Hitched on it’s left thigh was a sword and a spell rifle was secured on it’s back.
“That. Was Awesome!” A familiar voice said through the helmet. Twilight watched as the front of the helmet opened up to show the human’s face.
“Connor!? What are you doing here?”
“I’m about to redefine the term ass-kicking.” He said as he cracked his knuckles. “Sorry I’m late, but this thing was a bitch to put on.”
“What the hey kinda suit is that?” Applejack asked.
“It’s a prototype armor.” Celestia said as she coughed up more blood. “It’s enchanted to make a pony stronger and faster. It hasn’t been properly tested yet!”
“Yeah, and the gem powering it won’t last much longer either.” A crash caught the group’s attention and they saw the Changeling Queen’s hand shooting out of the rubble. “Uh-oh. Running time!” Twilight looked at her mentor who nodded. The mares all ran towards the door way only to see a line of changelings blocking their path. The human bull rushed his way through and the mares soon followed.
As they got out in the court yard they saw dozens of Changelings blocking their path and were soon surrounded. The seven stood back to back and Twilight gulped.
“Connor, how much time is left on that suit?”
“Seven minutes, seven minutes is all the time I have to play with them.” He said as he pulled out the sword.
“Do you know how to use that thing?” Dash asked as she looked at the blade.
“The sword? Fuck yeah I know how to use it. What’s to understand about swish, swish, stab? It’s a fucking sword Dash not a fighter jet.”
“Then we do things the hard way.” Dash cracked her knuckles and grinned. “CHARGE!” The next five minutes were filled with asses being kicked, shot’s being fired and a Unicorn being used as a machine gun. Twilight felt one of the Changelings sneaking up behind her. As she turned she saw a magic bolt slamming it into it’s face. She looked at the human who had the smoking spell rifle in his hands.
“You almost hit me.” Twilight said.
“That’s because I missed.” She looked down at the Changeling and saw it shaking. “I’m using stun rounds.” The seven found themselves in front of the Canterlot Vault where the elements are kept. The group heard a buzzing sound and saw more of the insects approaching. “Shit, reinforcements.” The man bit his lip and sighed. “Guys you get the elements. I’ll hold them off.”
“Are you nuts!?” Dash yelled. “There’s like a million of those things.”
“Yeah and there’s gonna be a million more if you all don’t do your rainbow blast thing.” The mares all looked at one another and sighed. They knew he was right and nodded. Connor turned to face the horde and sighed. “Okay you sons-of-bitches, you may take our lives, but you will never take-” The man’s armor suddenly vanished only leaving the clothes he was wearing before. “Fuck!” He said before he was overrun by Changelings.
Connor groaned as he felt himself being dragged across the floor as his sight came back. He blinked a few times and he felt his hands in chains. He quickly looked around the room and saw the six mares imprisoned beside the pink Alicorn. “The hell happened?” He asked as he was knelt next to Twilight.
“We got captured.” Dash sighed as she struggled in her restraints. Connor scanned the room and saw that Shining Armor was still brain washed. The human turned to the lavender mare next to him and whispered.
“Twilight, if I cause a distraction, do you think that you could snap Shining out of the trance?”
“I don’t know, but maybe Cadence can.” Connor weighed their options and sighed.
“Know any regenerating healing spells?”
“One. Why?”
“When I make my move you hit me with it.”
“It only lasts thirty-seconds.”
“That’s all the time I need.” The man wrestled in his handcuffs and gripped his right thumb. With a loud grunt he broke his finger and slipped his hand out of the cuff. Twilight just stared in disbelief at the action. “Get ready.”
“Silence!” The man turned to see the Changeling Queen with a swollen cheek and a black eye. He mentally patted himself on the back for doing such a ‘bang up job’ on the Queen. “This day had been just perfect~”
“Oh god, you’re seriously gonna sing? Spare my eardrums.” Connor groaned. Chrysalis walked over to the man and scowled.
“You should know your play filth!”
“Fifty-five.” The mares raised an eyebrow.
“Everyone will bow before me and beg for their lives-”
“Seventy-two.” The human rolled his eyes.
“I shall be the Queen to rule over all-”
“Two-hundred eighty.”
“What are you saying?” Chrysalis growled.
“Oh sorry, it’s just that I hear these speeches so often that I’ve compiled them into a list of how often I hear them.” The human could see the vein in the Queen’s head pressing against her skin in anger.
“You are nothing! Just a worm that-”
“Oh, twenty-three.” Chrysalis cried in rage as she tried to hit the human. The man ducked and launched himself at the Queen. He wrapped his cuff’s cahin around her neck and hung on for dear life. “Now!” Twilight’s horn flared and Connor felt a tingling sensation ensnare his body. The Queen threw him off her and growled. Connor grinned as he held up a clump of the Queen’s mane. If Chrysalis wasn’t pissed before, she sure was now.
Connor could feel the spell Twilight put on him fading. He needed to act fast. He primed his legs and jumped in the air and let out a kick right at the Queen’s head. Chrysalis caught the leg and had an iron grip on it.
“I’m not letting-” She was cut off as the man shifted his weight and twisted his captured leg 360 degrees. The man ignored the excruciating pain as much as he could. The mares were al stunned as they saw pieces of his leg bone sticking through the skin. Connor then delivered a strong kick with his free leg that sent the Queen flying into the wall.
The human balanced on one foot as the last of Twilight’s spell spun his injured leg back around and repaired his broken bone. The magic vanished and now he was on his own. Connor saw Twilight freeing the pink Princess and knew he had to hold out a little bit longer. The Queen charged at him with her hands now taking the form of large mallets. Connor barely managed to dodge the insane Queen’s hits.
“I’ll crush you like the bug you are!” Chrysalis roared.
“Eighty-three!” He dodged another hit.
“Shut up!” The Queen spun and slammed her hoof into the man’s gut. Connor felt some of his ribs crack as he was slammed into the floor. Blood filled his mouth and he groaned in pain. Chrysalis felt an odd power surge and turned to see Cadence breaking the spell over Shining Armor’s mind. The Queen moved to stop her, but felt something latch onto her tail. She looked down at the battered human in astonishment. Even after her kick this human was still fighting.
The human looked at her and Chrysalis saw fire in the man’s eyes. The Queen felt something rise up inside of her, she had only felt it a few times in her life. Fear. Her hammer fists started to beat down on the man’s body in order to make him let go. The mares were begging her to stop and spare him. The hand clutching her tail lost strength and fell to the floor. The Queen panted and felt the magic in the room starting to rise. She saw Cadence and Shining Armor being levitated off the floor by their power.
The Queen charged her magic to fire a salvo that would finish both of them once and for all. She felt a had grab her shoulder and her horn. She turned to see the man’s bloodied face staring back at her. “Get off of me you wretch!” Connor started putting pressure on her horn. He felt the Queen’s razor like nails dig into his skin to throw him off. Connor acted on pure instinct and bit down on the Queen’s neck. Chrysalis screamed as the human felt her blood fill his mouth. He put whatever strength he had into his hand and with a loud snap the horn was broken from her head.
Chrysalis Finally got a grip and threw him across the room into a pillar. She felt that her horn was broken off near the base and the human had ripped a mouthful of flesh from her neck. “You. Are. Dead!” Connor spat the foul tasting skin out of his mouth and only pointed behind her. The Queen slowly turned around to see a purple wall of magic smack into her body and propel her, and her subjects out of the city.
“Looks like...team Changeling...is blasting off...again.” The human said before he passed out from the pain.
~~~
Luna sat across from the mare with a low hanging jaw and surprise in her eyes. AJ drank the last of her cider and sat back.
“Eeyup, if it weren’t for him then we’d all be screwed.”
“I didn’t see him at the wedding afterwards.”
“He was getting patched up during the real wedding.” Luna nodded at the statement. “Princess was so grateful she gave him the armor and did something with some fancy sword. All ah know is that whenever Twi’s brother comes to visit he addresses him as sir.”
“Celestia knighted him?”
“Ah don’t know. Twilight knows more about that than ah do.” Luna remembered the look of the armor and shivered.
“How bad was he hurt? From the look of the armor, I’d say that it must have been brutal.” The orange mare rubbed her head.
“Ah don’t rightly know. Ah saw him after he was put back together and hooked up to all those medical machines and whatnot. You’d have to ask Thunderlane.”
“Why?”
“After we beat Tirek, Thunder and a few flyers started searching for Connor. Boy got thrown like a rag doll by Tirek.” The mare sighed. “After about forty minutes of searching ah see a red flare shooting over head. By the time we got there, Connor was already in the hospital, but Thunder was puking his guts out. He gave the docs details, but we never asked, pretty sure we didn’t want to know.”
“The docs needed some sort of specialist from Canterlot to get that armor off him. The stallions had to be careful since it was the only thing holding him together and there was some enchantment on the armor that was keeping him alive.” Every guard’s armor was enchanted with a life support spell to keep them alive for twelve hours, or until a rescue team arrived. “After they did, they tossed it. Mac and I took it and tried to repair it as a sort of ‘welcome home gift’ but we couldn’t even make a dent in it.” AJ sighed.
“We went through three hammers before we gave up.” Luna snapped her fingers and summoned the helmet from the suit. The helmet was different than a normal guard’s. It was more rounded and was shaped for a human’s head and tinted a dark grey color. The metal also covered the face and the spot where the eyes would show was covered by a visor.
“No surprise.” Luna stated. “This is made out of adamantine metal.”
“Adaman what now?”
“It’s a special compound we mix in with the normal armor. It’s as flexible as it durable.” Luna said as she levitated the helmet over to the farmer. “This suit was only the prototype and has been perfected since the wedding.” The lunar Princess then levitated the helmet back over to herself and looked inside the helmet. “Aha! I thought so.”
“Find something?”
“In order to repair metal of this caliber you need the help of a Smith Lord.”
“A what now?”
“A Smith Lord is a blacksmith that has proven themselves to be one of the greatest smiths in Equestria and I happen to know the smith who made this armor personally.” She tilted the helmet and the farmer squinted to see an insignia of a hammer and anvil wrapped in flames.
“So he can fix it?”
“She most certainly can. Do you mind if I-”
“By all means take it. Course ah’m not sure what Connor is gonna use that thing for now.” Luna snapped her fingers and made the helmet vanish.
“We all though the same thing after the Changeling invasion.” AJ had to agree with the Princess on that one. Luna thanked the apples’ for their hospitality and made her way home to the man’s house.
~~~
Connor sat back after finishing off a bottle of the apple family’s Zap Apple Cider. He looked at the two Alicorn’s who had a mixture of shock and sadness strewn across their faces.
“So that’s basically it.” Twilight hung her head now regretting asking the human.
“C-Connor, I had no idea-” The man held up his hand.
“Forget it. It’s in the past now, nothing can be done about it.” Twilight still hung her head and had a gut wrenching feeling inside her. The human stood up and cracked his back. “Well, I’m heading home. Trick or Treaters will be out soon and I need to set out the candy bowl.” The human waved goodbye to the Princesses and closed the door behind him. A silence fell over the two sister-in-laws until Cadence sighed.
“Well, that was not what I was expecting.”
“S-should we tell Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked.
“I really don’t see the reason to. He didn’t do it.” Cadence crossed her arms and sighed. “Was he lying?”
“No, I know when he’s lying. He was telling the truth.” Twilight sank down in her seat and groaned. “I think I could use a drink now.”
“Have one for me too. This kid better come out of me soon. I can’t even have wine anymore.” That last comment resulted in a small kick from the unborn foal. “Oh you are in so much trouble when you get out here young colt or filly.”
“You don’t know?”
“Shining and I want it to be a surprise.” Twilight nodded and gave a small smile at the words.
Chapter 10: Nightmare Night
Chapter 10
Nightmare Night
The human stretched his arms as he made his way through the door to his home. He perked up when he saw Luna sitting on the couch playing Minecraft. She was so entranced by the digital world that she didn’t hear the man enter.
Oh this is too perfect. The human quietly snuck up behind her and took in a deep breath. “SSSSSSSSS”
“CREEPER!” Luna jumped in her seat as she let out a small squeal. She spun around to see the stunned man.
“I’m not sure whether to laugh or squee.” The man felt himself being levitated up towards the ceiling. “Oh come on Lu. I was just playing!”
“As are we. It’s called Twister.” She said as she twirled her finger and the man started spinning in mid air.
“I think I’m gonna be sick!” He said as Luna dropped him on the couch and crossed her arms. “Sheesh, what crawled up your flank?”
“It’s Nightmare Night.” She grumbled.
“Why do you hate it? That’s like Santa hating Christmas.” Luna sighed a blew a piece of her blue mane out of her face.
“Tell us what you know of Nightmare Night.” Connor bit his lip and tried to remember one of Twi’s boring lectures on Equestria.
“It’s about kids getting candy and offering them to Nightmare Moon so they wouldn’t get eat...oh.” The man face palmed as he put the pieces together. “Still broken up about the whole thousand years of darkness thing huh?” Luna only gave him a dark look confirming his theory. “I thought you, Twilight, and the others worked all that out.”
“With them, yes. The rest of Equestria, not so much.” Her ears dropped to the side giving her a cute sad look.
Damn it brain. Focus! He thought as he shook his head.
“Care to elaborate?”
“Most of Equestria is still frightened of me. I have tried forming relationships with ponies using a disguise like this one, but when I reveal myself they all act the same.” Connor raised an eyebrow. “They run away in fear.” The mare hung her head in shame.
“Well, you did try to overthrow Celestia and cover the world in darkness.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” She said in a shaky tone as she curled her legs up to her chest. Connor silently cursed himself and put and arm around her.
“For a thousand years ponies believed Nightmare Moon was this crazy freak of nature.” Luna hugged her legs tighter. “That’s what they thought for generations, they can’t just stop thinking like immediately. It’s gonna take time for them to adjust. Hell, I went through the same thing.” Luna looked at the man in confusion.
“How do you mean?”
“During my first month in this town, I must have gotten chased out of it about a dozen times.” Luna was shocked at the words. From what she’s seen the town ponies treated the man like any other stallion.
“They chased you out of town?”
“Yup. Torches, pitchforks, everything but the kitchen sink. Wait, no there was that one incident with Colgate.” He groaned. “Thankfully I can run fast and Twilight is a good public speaker. Wanna know why they chased me out?” Luna shrugged. “It was because they had never seen anything like me before and they were really scared. The though that there was another form of intelligent life outside this world had never crossed their minds.” Luna rested her head against the man’s shoulder.
“Why didn’t you fight back?”
“That would have only made things worse. Then they’d get even more violent.”
“How did you change their minds?”
“It wasn’t easy. I really had to work at it. In time they saw that I wasn’t as dangerous as they thought I was. Not to mention having Twi and her friends backing me up helped.” The man felt his face redden as Luna nuzzled his shoulder.
“We are still not sure about going tonight.”
“How about you go as Azure and not Princess Luna? View your holiday from their perspective.” Luna tilted her head up and bit her lip.
“We do not have a costume.”
“Throw something together. You still have that housekeeper outfit.” He joked.
“I supposed we could....wait. How did you know we still had it?” Luna squinted at the man.
“Um, lucky guess?” Luna’s horn glowed and tried to read the man’s mind. Rubber ducky you’re the one. You make bath time so much fun! Luna raised an eyebrow as the man grinned.
“So you’ve shielded your mind?” The man gave a cocky nod. “No matter, we have other methods to extract information!” Connor felt his body fly off the couch and was pinned by magical tethers and the Princess of the night sitting on him.
Damn, she’s heavy for her size.
“We heard that!”
“Let me up!”
“No. I think it’s time for an interrogation.” She cooed. Connor’s eyes shrank as he thought of all the torture methods this mare could do, whips, chains, some were kind of hot. The Princess’s horn glowed and the man felt his shirt phase off his body and his blush levels increased as Luna reached behind her back and plucked one of her blue feathers from her wing.
“No, not that!” He begged.
“Yes, that!” She levitated the feather next to the man’s ribs and started rubbing it against his exposed skin. The man was biting his lip so she wouldn’t hear the laughter he was holding back. “Your resistance is impressive. However, it shall be in vain!” She withdrew another feather and started working on his other side.
“G-goddamn it L-Luna!” He managed to breathe out.
“The tickles have been doubled!” She yelled as the man’s will was broken and he started laughing hysterically.
“A plague on your house witch!” He yelled through the tears. Luna looked down at the man and smirked. Her smile faded when she saw the large scar on the middle of his chest. There was also a large one coming from his top right shoulder going down in a diagonal way. She also spied a smaller scar on his side. Connor felt the Princess’s magical grip falter and made his counter attack. He twisted his back and managed to pin the Princess so she was now on her chest.
“Payback time!” He said with a twisted smile. Luna’s horn started to glow but felt something latch onto the bone. “Not so fast Little Ms. Magic.”
“L-let go of our horn!” She said trying to hide her blush.
“Nope.” He said as he picked up one of her feathers and brushed it across the back of her neck making her shiver. Luna blushed harder when she felt the feather brush across the back of her ear. Luna’s face reddened and she was stifling her moans.
“Y-you f-fiend!” Connor ignored her and continued to mess with her ears while holding onto her horn to block her magic. Luna felt a familiar sensation brewing in her gut and let out a gasp. The gasp suddenly turned into a loud moan and a small bit of magic sparkled from her horn. The display made Connor let go. Luna looked at him and hid her blushing cheeks.
“I think you’ve suffered enough.” He grinned.
“I-I think I’ll take a shower.” The mare then vanished in a flash of blue light. Connor shrugged and went to go get his costume on. Luna was inside the bathroom and turned the water on while she stifled her moans as the warm water hit against her fur.
He could have at least finished.
S-silence!
Oh come now, you liked the way he was playing with you. Luna bit her lip and her face went crimson. The way he was dominating your body and had his hand on your horn. Luna couldn’t fight her urges anymore. She leaned her back against the tiled wall and ran her hands through her fur. The Princess cupped her left breast ad gave it a gentle squeeze while her other hand reached down towards her lower lips and started rubbing.
Luna let out a low pitched whine as she gripped tighter on her breast and started to massage it. She closed her eyes as she imagined the human pressing his wet body against hers. His hands running across her fur and digging into her soft skin. The human’s mouth was on her breast and his canines were playing with her erect nipple sending sparks of passion to every inch of her form. Luna’s tail curled around his body brining him closer to her.
“Oh~” She moaned as Connor broke the embrace and stood up straight. From this angle, Luna could see the droplets of water going down his flesh and panted. The human pressed his lips against hers and hooked his left arm around her mid section while the other trailed down towards her vagina. As the man found her button Luna moaned into his lip and felt her mind going crazy.
“R-right there! That’s my spot!”
“As you wish Princess.” Connor spun Luna around so her back was pressing against his chest. Luna could feel his throbbing member against her butt cheeks and moaned as he cupped her right breast. He reached down and inserted his index and middle finger into her lower lips. Luna threw both her hands around the man’s neck and brought him into a deeper kiss. She could feel a familiar force building up inside her as the man slowly twisted his fingers inside her snatch.
“I-I’m...Almost there! Don’t stop!” She said through the moans and the motions quickened. Soon the feeling that had been building up had been unleashed and her juices flooded out. “AAAAH!” She arched her back and her body tensed while she panted heavily. When she opened her eyes reality set in. The human was not in the tub with her. Luna finished cleaning herself off and stepped out of the tub to dry off.
I’m such a messed up mare aren’t I? She thought as she looked at her reflection.
Yes, Luna, yes you are. Feel better after letting all that out?
A bit.
Just a teaser of what’s to come if you play your cards right. Luna shook her head and looked at herself in the mirror. Something caught her eye. She looked down between her breasts and saw a large black scar that was covered by her fleshy mounds. The mare looked at it in the mirror and hung her head. “He wouldn’t want someone that’s shattered.”
“Um Luna.” The man’s voice caught her attention. “We’ve got company.”
“I shall be down in a second.” Luna summoned a pair of pants and a T-shirt before making her way down the stairs. She froze when she saw her sister sitting on the couch.
“Hello Lulu.” She smiled.
“Sister? What brings you here?” The Princess asked as she blinked.
“I wanted to see how Ponyville celebrates Nightmare Night. I heard you caused quite the stir last time around.” Luna blushed brightly and hung her head. The two heard footsteps and turned to see the man wearing white face make up, a long red coat that was parted in the middle to show his bare chest. He was also wearing a wig that looked similar to his normal hair color only it was much longer.
“Connor?” Luna asked. “Who are you supposed to be?”
“Gabriel Belmont.”
“Who?” Celestia asked.
“Count Dracula, Prince of Darkness.” Connor groaned. “What about you two?” Celestia
“An angel.” She giggled as she made a halo of light appear above her.
“What about you Luna?”
“We do not have a costume.”
“I can handle that.” Celestia chimed. “We’ll catch up with you later.”
“Okay, c’mon Nero.” The dog got up from its bed and followed it’s owner. After the duo left, Celestia gave her sister a sly grin.
“Why are you looking at me like that Tia?”
“You’ll see.” She snapped her fingers and a box fell into Luna’s hands. “There’s your costume.” Luna opened the box and her face went a dark shade of red.
“Surely you jest.”
“It’s up to you if want to wear it or not.” Luna looked at the articles of clothing and grumbled as she went to get changed.
~~~
Connor made his way through the town and saw that the festival was in full swing. Vinyl was dressed as a cat and was on the turntables. The man made his way over to AJ who was dressed as a scarecrow and Caramel was wearing a similar looking outfit.
“Hey guys.” The man said with a smile.
“Howdy partner.” The orange farmer smiled. “Where’s Azure at?”
“She and her sister are getting their costumes on.”
“Her sister?” Applejack gulped.
“Yeah, you remember Sunny. Right?” He said with a toothy grin.
“R-right.” She said as a rainbow haired Daring Do and a light blue winged Shadow bolt flew up to them.
“Sup guys?” Dash asked.
“Not much. Just got here myself.” Connor said.
“Howdy.” A deep voice caught their attention. The group all turned to see Mac in a Frankenstein costume. What shocked them more was his pink maned lab assistant.
“Fluttershy?” The group said in shock.
“Um...hi.” She said as she hid behind the red giant.
“You left your house on Nightmare Night?” Dash said.
“Please don’t remind me.” She whined as Mac put an arm around her.
“Good for you Shy.” Caramel said. “You’re finally facing-”
“Boo!” The yellow mare then let out a screech and froze before falling over. As she froze, Connor could have sworn he heard a goat noise. Beside the petrified mare was a laughing Rainbow Dash.
“Dash! That ain’t funny. Ya know how Shy is.” AJ said as she crossed her arms.
“Oh don’t get hay in your panties. It’s all in good fun.” Dash heard a cracking noise and turned around to see Mac glaring down at her. The emerald green eyes of death seemed to cut through her soul and she was frozen on the spot.
“Not. Funny.” The red stallion said.
“S-sorry Mac I-” Dash then felt something shock her and she jumped ten feet in the air. The group looked to see the yellow winged scientist with a dark storm cloud beside her.
“What? It’s all in good fun.” The group all let out a laugh at the yellow mare’s words. Dash was just reminded of the number one rule: ‘Don’t mess with the Shy.’ The group was then joined by a purple maned witch in a silk black dress and a grey winged zombie.
“Good evening darlings.” Rarity chimed. “Fluttershy, I’m so glad you decided to come out tonight.” Shy nodded with a weak smile.
“Anyone seen Twi?”
“Over here!” The group all turned and sighed in disappointment. The scholar was wearing a light purple blouse and a tan skirt. She was also wearing her horn rimmed glasses. Beside her was an armor clad Comet.
“Twilight, what the hell?” Connor groaned.
“What? Since last year’s costume didn’t go over well I decided on a costume more contemporary.”
“So you’re a librarian?” Soarin asked.
“No, a teacher.” The group sighed and decided to leave it alone. Comet, who was donning a cape and a spandex suit. Connor guessed he was some sort of super hero. Suddenly a large pink duck appeared before the group and let out a loud quack.
“Hey!” Pinkie chimed as she popped up next to the group along with a dark blue furred pirate. “Wow, your guys’ costumes are awesome!” Connor looked at Thunder and Soarin and saw both their wings erect and jaws hanging low.
“What’s with them?”
“Partner, ya might wanna turn around.” Mac pointed. The man turned and his eyes shrank. Sunny was in a white leather top that left her stomach exposed and matching pants. A pair of white feathered wings were also coming from her back and she had the halo from before. Azure was donning a black leather corset that left a good portion of her cleavage showing and exposed her belly button. Her wings were dark and bat pony like. She also had horns coming from a headband.
Conor was using all of his control to not make one of those ridiculous nose bleeds like he’d seen in anime. Foreign animation aside, he noticed that Luna’s face was about as red as Mac’s fur.
“Sunny this is embarrassing!” Luna whined.
“Oh lighten up Azure.” Pinkie then rushed up and looked the mare over.
“Damn! You two are looking fine!”
“Thank you Pinkie.” Sunny said.
“I still feel so weird.” Luna said as she crossed her arms under her breast making them stick out even more.
“Come now Azure.” Celestia said as she stepped behind her sister. “Besides if you’ve got them, flaunt them.” The white pony reached under her sister’s arms and gave her breasts a quick, but hard squeeze. Luna let out a yelp of surprise and the stallions felt warm blood running down from their noses.
“Th-that’s not funny!” Luna frowned.
“C’mon everypony.” AJ said.
“Ahem.” Connor said.
“Oh don’t you start getting all politically correct on me buster.” The farmer said as the man pouted. The group made their way into the heart of the festival where several games were set up. Luna noticed that she was getting some dirty looks from mares and the stallions seemed to be gawking over her. Connor ran into Pip who was dressed as a cowboy.
“Hey Pip, how goes the candy grabbing?”
“Awesome! Look at our haul!” The colt’s bag was practically overflowing with candy. Luna smiled at the colt as he ran off. Luna watched Connor go over to Twilight and whisper something in her ear. She gave a nod and the two snuck away for a moment before the mayor, who was wearing a mummy outfit, tapped the mic and got on stage.
“Good evening everypony and welcome to this year’s Nightmare Night festival!” She said as the crowd cheered. “We have Princess Twilight Sparkle here to kick off the events.” The crowd saw Twilight teleport onto the stage and smiled.
“Good evening everypony,I just want to officially welcome you to the Nightmare Night festival and-” The lights and microphone cut out and everypony was squinting to see something. The lights started to flicker. In the shadows a tall bipedal figure moving onto the stage. When the lights turned back on the crowd gasped. Twilight turned around to see a nine foot tall creature wearing a bloodied smock, holding a knife that was as long as it’s body and a large metal pyramid was fixed where it’s head would be.
The creature raised the large blade and sliced the purple Alicorn in two. The crowd screamed as the two halves that were once Twilight Sparkle fell to the side. Ponies fainted and turned snow white as the creature looked out at them and pointed the large knife. The creature dropped the blade and the two halves of the Princess became two wholes. The creature started dancing along side the Alicorn duo. At the end, the creature jumped down in front of Dash who was frozen.
“Boop.” A familiar voice said as the creature poked her nose.
“The buck!?” She yelled as the creature removed it’s mask showing the man.
“Oh man, your guys’ faces wee priceless!” He barreled over in laughter.
“That was SO not cool!” Dash yelled as she shook the human.
“Hey, don’t look at me. It was Twi’s idea.” He pointed to the now single purple Alicorn.
“That was for putting hot sauce in my drink for the tenth time.” She smiled in victory. The group hear another loud laugh and saw Sunny barreling over.
“Oh my ribs!” She chimed. “By the maker, I haven’t done something like that in ages.” The white mare wiped a tear from her eye.
“You were in on it?” AJ asked.
“But of course. I used an illusion spell to make the two Twilights follow Connor’s moves.”
“No amount of magic on the planet could make Twilight dance.” The man stated.
“Hey!” The lavender librarian pouted. Connor looked around and saw that they were short one dark blue demon mare.
“Hey, where’d Azure go?” The man asked as he looked around.
“She said she was going for a walk in the park.” Pinkie said. “Which s weird considering it was just after you started dancing.”
“Think she got scared?” Dash asked.
“Not likely.” Connor said with a sigh. “Mind giving me some normal clothes Sunny? It’s cold.” Sunny snapped her fingers and he was dressed in a normal pair of street clothes appeared on his body. “Thanks, I’ll go get Azure.” He whistled and his loyal canine companion came charging up to him before the two made their way towards the park.
The man made his way into the park thinking of where the mare could have gone. His ear twitched when he heard some sniffling sounds coming from a side path. He followed the small dirt trail to see a familiar blue Unicorn mare in a sexy demon outfit sitting in front of a statue of Nightmare Moon. Connor made sure they were alone before continuing. “Luna?”
The mare turned around and saw that her beautiful blue eyes had tears in them. The fur under her eyes was already soaked and the whites of her eyes were red. She quickly stood up and wiped the tears away.
“Wh-what do you want?” Her tone was shaky.
“I just came to see if you were okay.” He said as he walked towards her. “You kinda left the group unannounced.”
“And why should you care?” Her tone shifted to one that could cut through steel.
“What do you mean? You’re my friend. Why shouldn’t I care?” The mare frowned causing more tears to well up in her eyes. “Luna, what’s wrong?”
“How everypony acts at my expense! They are celebrating the fact that I was imprisoned.” The mare turned around and face the statue while she sniffled. Nero walked up to her and pushed her elbow with his nose. “You could never imagine the pain I felt of being locked up for a thousand years! No one can!” Luna slumped to the ground and cried as she hugged her knees.
The mare heard the man walk up next to her and was about to tell him to leave her be. She felt the man’s jacket around her shoulders and heard the man gulp.
“You’re half right.” Luna looked at the man while she sniffled. “I’m not a thousand years old, but I know what it’s like to be locked up.”
“What do you mean?” The man took a deep breath and gathered his strength.
“I was in prison for a year. A year I’ll never get back.” Luna tried to scramble to her hooves but the man held her wrist. “I can explain.”
“I want the truth!” She said with a huff.
“Fair enough. First thing you should know is that I am and always was innocent.” Luna sat back down beside the man and focused on his words. “I was twenty-two, just out of college and I’d gotten my degree in criminal justice. I always wanted to be a police officer.”
“Why?”
“They always helped people, and my home, New York City, has a lot of crime.” He sighed. “Anyway, I was dating my college sweet heart, Anna Jenkins.” Luna saw the man’s eyes sharped at the name. “We’d met after the first few months at New York University, turns out we went to the same high school. We clicked, stared dating, blah, blah, blah. She was in college to be a lawyer.”
“What was she like?” Luna asked.
“She was smart, pretty and passionate. I was lucky to have her.” The man dropped his head in shame. “Then it all went to shit. I found out later that she was just using me to get to my older brother Chris.” Luna gasped.
“She’d had a thing for him since high school, but he never noticed her. I caught her trying to seduce him and he rejected her. We had a massive fight and we broke up.” The man started to shake as he continued. “An hour later, two detectives from the SVU branch of the NYPD show up at my doorstep.”
“SVU?”
“Special Victims Unit. They handle rape cases, molestation, child abuse, real nasty shit like that.” He sighed. “Turns out Anna told her father, the chief of police, that I had raped her and the two detectives arrested me.”
“But you didn’t do anything! Right?”
“Of course not!” He snapped at the Princess who cringed back. “Sorry. I just get on edge when people ask me that. No matter what someone or somepony has done in their life, they don’t deserve that.” He felt a shiver go through his body. “I was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in Rikers Island.”
“But you were innocent!”
“No court system is perfect. They found my DNA in her since we’d had sex the night before I caught her. Apparently that along with her testimony was enough for a conviction.” Luna wrapped her arms and put her wing around him. “Thanks to detective Gavin, the man who originally arrested me, found out that Anna had lied. I was released a year into my sentence. She was then arrested for false accusation and went to a correctional facility for three years.”
“Bitch deserved more.” Luna snarled.
“Yeah especially since she screwed my career.” Luna looked at him in confusion. “You can’t be a police officer if you have a criminal record.”
“But, you were proven innocent.”
“Doesn’t matter. No station would hire an accused rapist.” He hung his head in shame. “That bitch took everything from me, my career, my integrity and made me break my promise.”
“What promise?” The man felt his heart rate spiking and tried to control himself. Connor reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He opened one of the folds and pulled out an old picture that had been folded many times and handed it to the Princess. The picture showed five people, four boys and one girl. The four all had light to dark blond hair while the one boy in the middle had dark brown.
“I told you that my mom left my family right?” Luna nodded at the words. “I’m responsible for that and why I wanted to be a cop.”
“I don’t understand.” Connor gulped.
“I’ve never told anyone this. I’m the product of my mother’s rape.” There was shame present in his voice and Luna held him tighter. “I don’t blame her for leaving. Every time she saw me she was reminded of that horrible experience. My dad resented me for it.”
“What about your siblings?”
“They didn’t care. They treated me like I wasn’t any different.” He hung his head low.
“I-I had no idea.”
“Don’t beat yourself up. I don’t like to talk about it.” He swallowed and looked at the mare. “My point is, you need to put the past behind you.”
“I’m not sure I can.” She said with a guilty look.
“Okay, so you did some bad things, but you’re trying your best to correct them. That’s all you can do. You have a second chance to make things right.” Luna looked at the man and sniffled. “A wise man once said this; ‘Your past doesn’t define who you are, it just gives you the starting point for who you’re going to be.’”
“Who said that?”
“My grandpa. He may have been a crazy Irishman, but he was a good guy.” He chuckled. “He was more of a father to me than my old man was.” The man put an arm around the mare and she sniffled. Twilight, and the others know that you’re not Nightmare Moon, I know that too. It’ll just take some time for everyone else to realize it.”
“How long?”
“I don’t have a crystal ball. You have to understand that these are simple town ponies, the common clay of society. You know, morons.” Luna giggled. Damn her giggle was adorable! “Look you can go back home and sulk, or you can go back to the party and have some fun.” He said as he got up. Luna looked at the statue and sighed. Connor blinked and thought of something. “Hang on, stay here. I’ll be right back. Nero stay.” The dog looked at Luna who stared at him.
“Lovely weather tonight.” The dog only tilted it’s head in confusion. “Now we’re talking to dogs. We must be going crazy.” Luna waited for ten minutes until the man returned with a few rolls of toilet paper and a carton of eggs.
“Why do you have those?”
“Old human tradition. On Halloween, Earth’s version of Nightmare Night, people go Trick or Treating. If they don’t get a treat, then they trick.” He faced the statue. “Hey Moony, got any sweets?” The statue remained still. “No? Too bad for you.” The man picked up one of the eggs and threw it against the statue, hitting it in the ribs. “Damn it.” He offered Luna an egg and the mare smiled. She launched the egg and it splatted against the statue’s face.
“Nice shot.” The two emptied the carton and switched to the toilet paper. within ten minutes the scary statue looked more like a mummy. “Ya know the mayor is probably going to kill whoever did this come morning.”
“Oh please, it’s a statue of me after all and I’ll do whatever I want to it.” The mare snapped her fingers and the statue flipped upside down and was balancing on it’s horn.
“Feel better?”
“Much. Thank you.” she took the man’s hand in her own and started walking. “Come, the night is still young after all.” She pulled on his arm.
“Okay hold your horses.” He chuckled as the mare dragged him through the park.
Chapter 11: The Proposal and Cars
Chapter 11
The Proposal and Cars
The next morning Connor woke up with a pounding headache. As he stretched he felt his right palm touch something very soft and perky? He felt something draped across hid mid-section and something firm yet soft being pressed against his crotch. He heard a soft snore come from the object as he gave the soft thing in his palm a squeeze resulting in a soft moan. As his eyes adjusted to the light he looked to see a sleeping Luna next to him covered by the sheet.
Holy shit! I’m groping a Princess!
A ver powerful Princess that can turn you into a pile of ash!
Okay, nothing I haven’t been through before. Remember that time with Rachel and the handcuffs? Connor gathered his strength and slowly let go of the warm bosom. With stealth of a house cat, the man slowly slid his arm out from the mare’s grasp. He realized that the Alicorn’s strength had cut off the blood circulation to his arm and he now felt the pins and needles setting in as he sat up. A slim yet strong arm then wrapped around the man’s neck and brought him back down to the bed. Connor felt his face press between two soft mounds of flesh and his blush level increased.
The Alicorn let out a happy sighed as she squeezed his form like a child would a stuffed animal. The human’s face was a deep crimson and tried to breathe. He moved his hands down the mare’s back and felt no cloth. Of course she’s topless, why wouldn’t she be? He though in a sarcastic tone.
The feeling of the man’s hands running through her fur made the Princess stir. Luna’s eyes fluttered open and she rubbed her eyes allowing the man to breathe. The sudden noise made the mare look down and her deep blue eyes shrank as her wings sprung up. The two stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Luna looked down and saw that she was topless and shrieked as she fell out of bed.
The mare’s tail was still around Connor’s stomach and dragged him down with her. After a few moments of tumbling the man felt his back on the carpeted floor and a weight on his groin. Connor looked up to see Luna’s bare breast in all their glory. He raised an eyebrow when he saw a dark mark between the two fleshy mounds. The man’s bedroom door swung open to show Princess Celestia in a white robe.
“Is everything okay in here? I heard a-oh my.” She said face turning red.
“LEAVE!” Luna bellowed in her royal Canterlot voice. The white Princess quickly closed the door and Connor gulped.
“Um, Luna. Can you please get off me?” The mare looked down at the human’s bright red face and bare chest before teleporting out of the room. The man stood up and quickly put on some clothes all the while wondering how he and the Princess got in that extremely awkward/hot situation. After donning his clothes he went down stairs he spied Celestia sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in her hand. The two heard a poof sound and turned to see a still blushing Luna.
“Okay, can someone please explain to me what the hell happened last night?” Connor said rubbing his face.
“What do you mean?” Celestia asked.
“Why we ended up in bed together!” Luna said with crimson cheeks.
“You don’t remember?” The looks on their faces confirmed her suspicions. “Well, you two did drink a lot last night.”
“So what happened?” Luna demanded. Celestia sighed and sat back.
“After you came back, you two were challenged to a drinking contest by AJ and her brother, Macintosh.”
“Oh no.” Connor face palmed. “Did KFC strike?”
“Huh?” Luna asked as she looked at the human.
“Whenever I get drunk I start punching things. The guys back on earth called me Kung-Fu Connor, or KFC for short.” He said in embarrassment.
“Yes, you knocked out Applejack’s brother.”
I knocked out Big Mac with a punch?
I AM AWESOME!
“Is he okay?”
“Oh yes, he came to five minutes later. After you had calmed down and started hitting on Luna and myself.” The man face palmed hard enough to leave a red mark.
“Okay, what’s my punishment?”
“Pardon?”
“I hit on you and Luna. Isn’t there some law against that?” Celestia looked at her sister and chuckled.
“Oh heavens no, besides you did a very good job.” Celestia giggled making him blush harder. “Anyway, the festival started winding down and we returned here.You two passed out as soon as you got in the doorway so I set you both in bed.”
“Why did you put us together?” Luna yelled with cheeks flaring.
“I needed a place to sleep and I couldn’t fit on Connor’s couch.” Celestia said with puppy dog eyes. “Besides you two looked so adorable!”
“Well, I still think-” The man was cut off as he felt his phone rang with an odd ringtone. “Sorry ladies, but my people need me!” With that said, the man rushed out the door like a hurricane. Luna glared at her sister.
“Why do you have such a sour look Lulu?”
“We do not appreciate you meddling in our life!”
“Oh come now Luna, it’s only a bit of fun, besides you looked quite happy.” Luna scowled and crossed her arms.
“He wouldn’t want somepony who’s so damaged.” Celestia gave a sad sigh at the words. “On another note. Is Copper in the castle today?”
“I believe she is. Why?” Luna snapped her fingers and summoned the badly damaged armor. Celestia almost spat out her coffee at the pieces of metal. “What in the name of the sun is that?”
“I believe it was the armor you gave him after the Changeling invasion. Speaking of which, why did you not tell us he was knighted?”
“He didn’t want to deal with the press, or take the lime light away from Captain Armor and Princess Cadence.” Celestia smiled. “What happened to it?” She asked looking at the damaged armor.
“Applejack said it was damaged during Tirek’s attack.” The Sun Princess levitated the armor to her and saw a large hole going through the center of the chest. “We do not know the injuries he sustained, but from what we’ve heard from the Element of Honesty, it was quite severe.”
“And you wish to fix this because?” Luna’s face flushed red.
“As a thank you gift for putting up with us. Nothing more!”
“Your face says otherwise Lulu.” Luna grunted and walked back up stairs.
~~~
Connor made his way down the dirt road trying to force the event that occurred a few minutes prior out of his mind. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy being suffocated by Luna’s sweater mittens, but she was a Princess of Equestria and she probably had suitors a mile long. He pushed the thoughts out of his head as he came upon a familiar red barn. Connor pushed open the door to show the five stallions and one black eyed farmer with a neutral look on his face.
“Hey guys. Sorry about the hit Mac.”
“It’s fine. Not like I never did anything dumb when ah drank too much cider.” The males all knew the rule: what happens at the bar, stays at the bar.
“So what’s the big announcement? You don’t use the boob horn unless it’s a dire situation.”
“Two things.” Pierce said. “Comet got here first, so he goes first.” The group looked at the yellow stallion who cleared his throat.
“I’m gonna ask Twilight to marry me.” The male’s jaws hung low as he pulled out a golden ring with a shining rainbow diamond the size of a nickel catching the sun light.
“Damn, that rock is huge.” Caramel said.
“You sure Comet?” Soarin said. “I mean marriage is a big commitment.”
“I’ve made up my mind. Twi and I have been dating for three years now and I know that I love her.” The stallion said with confidence.
“You decided when to ask?” Connor asked.
“Made reservations at the Blue Rose restaurant in Canterlot for tonight.” Pierce whistled.
“Is it fancy?” Mac asked.
“Beyond belief, and super exclusive. You need some good connections to get a table there.” Pierce remembers the hell his parents went through getting a table for their anniversary
“Well, Twilight is a Princess.” The stallions all nodded at the knowledge and Thunderlane was looking at the ring as the group heard a knock on the barn door. The males all turned around to see Applebloom standing in the door way.
“Hey Mac, Granny is looking for ya.” The eleven year old said with a smile. “What are ya’ll doing out here anyway?”
“Just talking.” Thunder said as he clenched his hand and hid the ring.
“Tell Granny ah’ll be out in a minute.” The filly nodded and went back to whatever she was doing as the males all let out a sigh. “Ah take it ya don’t want any of the gals to know?”
“Yeah, no offense Mac, but AJ can’t lie to save her life.” The red stallion gave a nod at the words.
“Excuse me?” The males froze as they heard the orange farmer’s voice. Thunder panicked and put the ring in his mouth as the farmer walked over to the group. “What are ya’ll doing out here?” Soarin reached something out from behind his back and knew this was his moment to shine.
“I just got my hands on some new Human magazine, Maximum.” He said pulling it out.
“I think you mean Maxim.” Connor said. “It’s a ‘gentleman’s’ magazine revolving around cars, entertainment, women and all things guys love.” AJ rolled her eyes as she looked at the magazine cover showing a scantily clad blonde woman.
“Humans, ponies. Ya’ll guys just can’t keep it in your pants can ya?”
“I brought it for Connor.” The man looked at the cover and his eyes shrank. “C’mon man you have to admit that you’d bang her.” Soarin said with a grin. Connor slowly turned his head to look at the blue stallion.
“No way in hell!” He yelled with flaring cheeks.
“Why? She’s good looking.” Caramel said.
“Because that’s my sister you ass!” The group’s jaws dropped and flipped open to the cover girl’s bio and sure enough, the name Chloe Rowe was next to another photo of her. “AJ I suggest you leave.” He cracked his knuckles. “Things are about to get...messy.” AJ took her cue to leave the stallions in peace. “Okay she’s gone.” He breathed a sigh of relief.
“Where’s the ring?” Comet asked. The group heard a muffling sound coming from Thunder. “Where is it?” The stallion pointed to his mouth.
“Nice thinking!” Caramel said as he slapped his friend on the back. The group then heard an ominous gulping sound.
“Uh-oh.” The grey stallion said.
“Thunderlane, tell me you didn’t just swallow that ring!” Comet said horn flaring.
“Okay, I didn’t swallow that ring.” Comet grabbed him by the collar and shook him.
“That cost me eighteen-thousand bits you prick! Cough it up right now!”
“Wait, that’s not a good idea!” Pierce said. “The metal could damage his organs.”
“Then I’ll cut him open!” Comet growled.
“Hang on.” Connor said pulling out his phone. “Let’s get a medical opinion on this.” He selected Red Heart’s contact and dialed.
“Hello?” The mare said in her usual cheery tone.
“Hey Red, it’s Connor. Quick question, say a moron ate a metal ring. What’s the best way to get it out?”
“How big is the ring?”
“It’s the size of a wedding ring.”
“Connor, this is so sudden!” She said in a chuckling tone.
“Oh ha-ha. This is serious Red Heart.”
“I’ll tell you if you give me details later.”
“Done.”
“Okay, don’t try to throw it up, it’ll only cause damage to their esophagus and surgery is too risky.”
“So then what?”
“I’d say pass it anally.”
“Okay, thanks Red Heart. I’ll swing by the hospital around noon.” He said before hanging up the phone.
“Well?” Comet asked.
“Mac, does Granny Smith have any food to make Thunder here crap out the ring?”
“Oh Celestia no.” The stallion groaned.
“You did eat the ring.” Comet grumbled.
“Only because Caramel hit me and it went down my throat!” Thunder said pointing at the stallion.
“So he can help look through your crap and you better not flush!” Comet said as Mac took the two inside. “On another note, this is your sister?” Comet said pointing to the magazine.
“Yeah that’s Chloe. Nice to see she’s doing well.”
“Why didn’t you tell us your sister was a such a looker?” Pierce asked.
“How do you think Thunder and Soarin would react? Plus, I didn’t know her modeling career had taken off in such a big way.”
“Why’s that?” The blue stallion asked.
“My phone plan doesn’t cover inter dimensional calls and texts, what do you think? I’ve been here for the past two years.” He snapped.
“Whoa, take it easy with the hostility man.” Comet said as he put up two hands.
“Sorry, it’s just been a stressful morning.” He sighed. “I’ll catch you guys later, let me know how the whole proposal thing works out.” With that, the human made his way back to his home to see Luna playing a game. “Hey Lu.” He said as he closed the door behind him.
“Morning, why did you leave?”
“Guy stuff. Where’s Celestia?”
“She had some royal business to attend to.”
“Okay.” He said as he sat down beside her. Luna noticed the magazine in his pocket and levitated it over to her. “Hey!” Luna looked at the cover and glared at the man.
“So you are a pervert.”
“I am not! Thats Soarin’s magazine. I just took it away from him so he couldn’t jack off to my sister.” Luna looked at him in surprise. “Check page twenty.” Luna flipped the magazine open and saw the cover girl’s bio. Her jaw hung open and looked at the man. At a closer look, there was a resemblance between the two.
“I did not know your sister wore such...interesting outfits.”
“News to me too. It says that she’s a professional model and this was her first time as a cover girl.” Connor couldn’t help but feel pride at his sister’s accomplishment. As Luna leaned over to read more, the man could see down her shirt and he blushed heavily. He also spied the dark mark he had seen earlier. “Um Luna, can I ask something?”
“What?”
“This morning when we were in bed,” The words caused both of them to blush heavily. “I noticed a dark mark on your chest. That some sort of birth mark?” Luna lowered her head and sighed.
“It’s...a scar.” Connor gulped at the answer.
Should I ask?
I don’t mind if you do.
Goddamn it Luna.
“Twilight and the others used the Elements of Harmony to stop Nightmare Moon and rid us of her influence. The blast left a scar here.” She parted her breasts and Connor looked at the dark mark. “We do not let many know it is there. It’s a reminder of what we once were.” The man could tell that Luna hated the scar and regretted getting it.
“Well, I like girls with scars.” Luna looked at him in confusion. “Show’s they’ve been through the ringer and have come out stronger for it.” The Princess blushed at the words and felt her heart beat rising. She had told the man one of her deepest secrets and he had not given her a look of pity or disgust. “Besides, I have a few scars myself.” He said as he took his shirt off making Luna blushed as she looked at his muscular form.
She hesitantly put a finger on the large scar on his chest. “Tirek gave me that one. Smug prick ran me through with his horn.” Luna gasped at the words. “Of course I did stab him in the eye and rip his nose ring out.” He chuckled. “Before he shanked me and threw me like football into a mountain.” Luna winced at the words.
“What about that large one going across your chest?” Connor looked at the horizontal scar and blushed.
“Oh, nothing big.” He lied. Luna scowled at him and held up a feather. “Okay, okay! Just put that thing away.” Luna smiled at her power of the man. “It was from...you.”
“What? We did no such thing!”
“Well, it was kinda collateral damage. You remember last year’s Nightmare Night? When you showed up and threw a tantrum?” Luna blushed in embarrassment. “Well, said tantrum called upon some storm clouds and the lightning had to strike somewhere.” The Princess’s ears dropped down and she lowered her head. “It was an accident. I know you didn’t mean it.”
“But you were still injured because of us.” She said in a low tone. The man put a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m fine. Really.” Luna looked at him and nodded.
“What about that one on your side?” Luna asked looking at the man.
“That’s when I got shanked with a shiv.”
“A what?”
“A small bit of metal sharpened to use as a weapon. Got it while I was in prison.” He said in a somber tone.
“You were in a fight?”
“Not really, guy tried to jump me. Thankfully Red was there to watch my back.”
“Red?”
“My cellmate. Great guy, just did a bad thing.”
“What did he do?”
“Killed the guy who killed his wife and unborn child.” He said with a sigh.
“What?”
“Yup, got twenty years. He was on his sixteenth when we were cellmates.”
“Why such a harsh punishment?”
“Because the guy that killed his family, was the son a city councilman. His political friends increased his sentence.” He sighed. “A lot of the guys in there weren’t bad people, they’ve just done some bad things.” He said with a yawn. Connor looked at the clock and sighed. “Sorry Luna, but I gotta go see Red Heart for lunch.” The Princess felt a small bit of rage dwell inside.
“Why?”
“It’s a complicated, yet funny story. You can come if you want.” Luna smiled and donned her disguise. This time she did her hair in a different way and was wearing a black top that showed off her form. The man couldn’t help but stare in awe at the cuteness level.
“Shall we go?” The mare teleported the two inside the hospital lobby and saw Red Heart at the front desk behind a computer.
“Hey Red.” He said as they walked up to the desk.
“Oh hey, I just need a few more minutes to finish up this report.”
“Sounds good.” The man left to go to the restroom and Luna stood by the desk. Red Heart punched in a few more keys and sighed.
“So Azure, I saw you and Connor go to park last night.” Luna blushed brightly at the words. “Anything happen?”
“N-no, we only talked.” She said with rosy red cheeks.
“Relax Azure. I’ve seen the way you look at him.” The nurse said as the human returned.
“Ready to go?”
“Yup.” The three found themselves in the park. Thankfully it was deserted.
“Why are we in the park?”
“The walls in this town have ears.” He said as he looked around. “Azure, do you have a sound proofing spell?” The mare nodded and her horn glowed a radiant blue color. A dome shield encircled the trio and turned invisible. “Nice. Okay, before I tell you two, I need you both to pinkie promise not to tell anyone.”
“Pinkie promise?” Luna asked.
“It means you can’t tell anyone what he’s about to say or you’ll suffer the wrath of Pinkie.” Red Heart and the human both shivered as they remembered the tales told by the mane six.
“Okay, how do I make the promise?” Connor told her the steps and Luna rolled her eyes as she copied his motions and said the words. After the ritual was complete, Connor told them about what transpired in the barn. Both mares squeed when they heard the news about Comet and Twi. Red Heart face palmed hard enough to leave a red mark on her forehead when they got to the ring incident.
“That bucking idiot.” The nurse groaned.
“Yup, hopefully they-” He stopped as he heard his phone ring. He tapped the screen and saw it was Pierce. “Hey Pierce, whats the status?”
“The ring has been extracted and Comet is on his way to Canterlot.”
“Sweet. How’s dumb and dumber?”
“Caramel is washing his hands for the tenth time and Thunder is sitting on a bucket of ice.” The man chuckled at the words.
“Okay, let me know when Comet gets back.” Connor hung up the phone and grinned. “Sounds like those two are paying for it.” Red Heart looked at her watch and said goodbye to the two before walking back to the hospital. The two then decided to head back into town looking for something to do.
As Connor walked behind the mare he couldn’t help but stare at her firm butt. Connor noticed that she had an extra sway in her step, but put it off as ignorance. The two heard the sound of children laughing and looked to see a group of foals next to a golden furred Pegasus mare with chestnut brown hair with yellow tips. Connor smiled and walked over to the mare.
“Hey Golden.” The mare turned and smiled.
“Connor, so nice to see you again.” She said as she gave him a tight hug. Luna felt another pang of anger as she looked at the Pegasus. Golden then noticed the blue mare.
“Oh, Golden, this is my roommate Azure.” He motioned towards the blue mare.
“Ah yes, I’ve heard a bit about you. Nice to finally meet you.” The Pegasus said as she outstretched her hand. Luna shook it and smiled.
“Connor told me that you run the orphanage.” The mare gave a nod at the words and looked at the group of foals.
“Yes, it’s very rewarding. What do you do?” Connor gulped and tried to think of a fake occupation for the mare.
“I’m an astronomer for the Vanhoover Science Institute.”
Nice thinking.
Thank you. The blue mare smiled at the compliment. A familiar white colt then ran up to them.
“Hey Pip.” The man smiled as he saw the colt. “Didn’t eat too much candy I hope.”
“Nah, I still got plenty!”
“Just remember to brush your teeth or else you’ll have to get your teeth drilled by Dr. Colgate.” The colt shivered and who can blame him?
“Hey I was telling the guys about that big metal box with wheels you have.”
“You mean my car?” Luna looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah! Think you could show it to us?”
“I don’t know Pip. I don’t really show Ruby off too-” He was cut off as the colt gave him a pair of puppy dog eyes. Damn him! He’s been hanging out with the CMC I just know it! He looked towards the blue mare for support but only saw her doing the same. Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!
What? We have never seen a car before. Connor looked back at the colt and sighed.
“Fine.” The colt gave an arm pump of victory. “I’ll swing by later and pull up.” The man sighed before saying goodbye and making his way towards his home. He grabbed a set of keys and walked up to a door. “Wait outside in front of the garage.” Luna huffed and went back outside in front of the garage door. Luna heard a roar come from behind the flimsy metal door.
The door slid up and Luna’s jaw dropped. The machine was dark red safe for two black stripes on the front hood and trunk, along with a black fabric like roof. The machine was sleek, powerful and ready for action.
“What is this?” She asked as the human got out.
“This is my pride and joy. A 1970 Chevelle SS convertible, with some of my own personal touches.” He said as he held the door open for the Princess on the passenger side. Luna looked at the interior and marveled at the seats and music player.
“What does it do?” The man threw on a pair of sunglasses and smirked.
“Strap in.” He gestured to the safety belt. The man hit the gas and Luna felt the car lunge forward like a manticore pouncing on it’s prey.
“Where did you get this?”
“I found Ruby about ten years ago when I was sixteen. She was a mess back then had to do a complete restoration.”
“Why give your car a name?” The man nodded.
“Cause she deserves it.” He said as he hit the gas and the two went through the town.
“Why don’t you use this more often?”
“Well, Ponyville is small. Everything I need is within walking distance. Also, the streets are usually so crowded that I can’t go one-hundred feet without stopping.” He groaned.
“So?”
“This is a muscle car Luna. What’s the point of owning a stallion if it’s got no room to kick?”
“We thought this car was a girl?” The human sighed.
“I’m talking horse power Luna.” The mare still looked confuse. “I’ll explain later.” Luna looked back and cocked an eyebrow as she noticed something strange.
“Could you stop the car a moment?” Connor shrugged and put his machine in park. Luna stepped out and circled the car before poking her head back in and saw twelve seats in the back. “It’s smaller on the outside!”
“It sound a lot cooler when you say it the other way around.” He said as she got back into the vehicle. “Twilight used some sort of spell to make the inside bigger.”
“A space dimensional spell?”
“If that’s what you call it.” He said as they continued through town drawing the eyes of several ponies who had never seen the machine before. The two then pulled up to the group of children and the golden mare. The man stepped out and smiled as the foals boggled over the piece of machinery. “Yup drink it all in.” He said with a smile.
You said you found it? Luna asked.
Well, found, borrowed and never returned. Luna looked at him.
You stole it?
No! The human said as he looked at Luna. Well, kinda. I found her in a junk yard my grandpa owned and he helped me...procure her. I didn’t have the money and no one was gonna miss it. He shrugged as Luna sighed. The mare looked up and saw Dash, Soarin and Thunderlane touch down.
“Dude! This thing is bitch’n!” Soarin said.
“Language!” Golden said crossing her arms.
“Sorry.” The blue flyer said. “Still this thing looks awesome!”
“Check under the hood.” Connor walked over to the driver’s side and popped the hood to show a pristine engine. “Fuel injected engine, custom built frame and a killer bass system.”
“How’d you build this?” Thunder asked.
“I had a lot of friends who were mech-heads.”
“Huh?” The cyan flyer said.
“Mechanics. They helped me get the parts and put it together.”
“You humans and your toys. Your extremely awesome toys.” Thunder said as he drooled. Dash looked at Luna.
“Stallions.” The cyan flyer groaned.
“Dash this is what you looked like every time someone said the word Wonderbolt.” Thunder said as Dash blushed. Luna gave a giggle at the words.
“Oh right. Connor,” The man turned towards the blue winged Pegasus. “since Comet and Twi are on a ‘date’ the guys, gals and I were thinking on having a game night now that the competition is out of the way.” Thunder and Dash stared at the blue flyer. Connor only grinned.
“Game night eh? Sure why not. Been a while.” He chuckled to himself. “Okay, I’m heading back to the house.” Luna nodded.
“Go on ahead I wanted to talk with Thunderlane for a moment.” Connor gave a shrug and closed the hood.
“Suit yourself and don’t be afraid to smack him around if he gets hands-y.”
“Hey!” Thunder wanted to complain but the man had already driven back. Dash and Soarin took off to get ready for that night. “So what’d you want to talk about?” He asked as the two started walking.
“I understand that you were the one who found Connor after Tirek’s rampage.” Thunder froze. “How bad were his injuries?” Thunder gave a gulp.
“Trust me Azure you don’t want to know.” He said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t even know how to describe it to you.”
“Well, you don’t have to.” Thunder raised an eyebrow. “I can use my magic to look at your memories, if that’s more comfortable for you.” Thunderlane weighed his options.
“Okay fine, but only that memory.” He said not wanting her to find his more...private thoughts.
“Of course Thunder,” She said with an innocent smile. “just close your eyes and think of it.” She said as she put a hand on his head making him blush a bit. Luna’s horn glowed and she felt the memory closing around her.
~~~
Luna’s ethereal form materialized next to Thunderlane who was standing in a circle next to a few fliers. Rainbow then arrived with a map. “Okay everypony, listen up!” She yelled. “Tirek threw Connor somewhere in this direction.” She pointed on the map. “If you do find him, then use your signal flares and we’ll head towards your position.”
“Why should we even care?” All heads turned towards the three flyers Luna had seen in town. One of which was the one Connor beat in the ring. “He ain’t no pony.” Luna wished she could slap him. Thunder walked up and lifted the stallion off the ground by his shirt. His yellow eyes glaring at Endzone.
“Listen here you little chicken shit, Connor just risked his life to save our asses. If you’re not going to help then you can just go home and jerk off like the coward you are!” He threw the stallion to the ground.
“Whatever.” The grey stallion said as he and the other two left.
“Okay, we’ve all got our routes. We meet back here in an hour. Break!” The flyers took off in separate directions. Luna followed Thunderlane as he soared through the sky.
“C’mon you crazy bastard. Where are you?” Thunder said to himself. As he finished scouting the area from above, something shiny caught his eye. He touched down in the forest just south of the rainbow waterfall and headed into the brush. He soon found a large trench and followed it. Luna stayed close behind that they both gasped at the same time.
The sleek armor was laying against the hard ground covered in blood. Luna had seen royal guards hurt before but this was different. The man’s right arm was twisted in the opposite way it bends. His left leg was twisted the same way one would ring out a wet shirt. The visor on the helmet was broken. Thunder quickly pulled out his flare gun and fired it into the sky making a large red cloud. He soon approached his friend and started panting before he puked.
“Oh man.” He said as he saw the man’s swollen face behind the visor. A familiar rainbow blur then came down.
“Oh Celestia.” Dash said as she landed next to Thunder. “I-Is he-”
“I-I don’t know.” He said as Dash pulled out a magic crystal and smashed it on the ground forming a magic circle. “Whatever the case, we’re not leaving him here.”
“Yeah...you’re not.” Both heads turned towards the broken body as the seal glowed and Twilight appeared next to them.
“Connor!” She yelled as she crouched next to the man with tears in her eyes.
“H-hey Twi.” He said as he coughed up more blood.
“D-don’t try to talk Connor.” She said as she took his hand in hers. “J-Just hold on a little bit longer.” She was charging her magic for a teleportation spell. With another cough the man feel back into unconsciousness. The area around the two glowed with magic and the two vanished in a flash of light. Thunder sat down and felt sweat on his brow.
“I-I’d better let everypony know h-he’s been found.” Dash said trying to fight back the tears.
“Good idea.” The stallion said with a gulp. Luna stood frozen with tears in her eyes as the memory broke down. She was back in reality and she looked at Thunder.
“Oh my gosh.” She said wiping the tears from her eyes.
“Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.” He gulped. “But, he’s fine now. No sense in dwelling on what could have happened right?” He said in a light hearty tone.
“R-right. Thank you Thunderlane, I know it must not have been easy.” The stallion waved it off.
“No problem.”
“On a lighter note, why did you and Rainbow glare at Soarin when he invited Connor to this game night?”
“Connor may not look it but the man is good at games.” He said in a serious tone. "He managed to outsmart Twilight in ‘Equestria Domination.’ It’s a board game where you have to conquer the other players’ territories.”
“I’ve heard of it, but never played it.”
“Oh come by then, we might play it.” He said with a smile. “Well, I gotta go. Promised Rumble I’d teach him how to play wing ball.” He said as he flapped his wings. “See you later.” Luna waved and headed back towards the man’s home wondering what games awaited her that night.
Author's Note
I'm Back! SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I meant to have this out before christmas but my family was being extremely dificult with plans so everything was crazier than usual.
Chapter 13
Have We Met?
The human groaned as the morning sun shined on his face. “Go away Sun. Stop sending your light to my eyes.” Despite his feeble plea the large orb of fire continued to rise. “Fine, you win.” The man sighed. As Connor sat up he felt a weight on his chest. He looked down and saw a lump on hid bed beneath the sheets. “The hell?”
He pushed his covers aside, expecting to see the mares, instead it was a woman. A human woman with pale skin and dark red hair. As she opened her eyes Connor noticed one other thing, she was naked. “Gah!” He yelled as he literally dove out of bed.
The man hit his head on the carpeted floor and cursed as he stood back up and stared at the bed. “Who the hell are you and why are you in my house?” He bellowed. The sound of trampling hooves filled the hallway. The door was thrown open to show Luna in a tank top and black short-shorts.
Luna’s eyes fell on the human and her teeth started to grind against one another. “What is the meaning of this?” She yelled.
“I just woke up and this crazy woman was in my bed!”
“Hey, you’ve been inside me thousands of times!” The redhead said covering herself with the covers. Luna blushed glared at the man.
“I have never seen her in my life!” Luna snapped her fingers and trapped the woman in a blue ethereal cage.
“Hey!” The redhead said as she gripped the bars. Her green eyes were locked onto the human. “Do you honestly not recognize me? Even after she put me in here?” The stranger eyes Luna.
“You broke into my house and slept in my bed while nude!” He huffed. “If anyone else walked in what would they think?”
“Not the cage you moron. She put me in here.” The redhead said pinching her arm. “I’m....Oh what are the words? Odd how these human brains of yours work.” Connor looked at Luna and tugged his ear.
This chick has a screw loose.
I’ll call the guards.
“Oh! We travel together. I go.” The woman opened her mouth and made a sound that was all to familiar to the man.
“A car?”
“Chevelle SS, year 1970. Yes, that’s me.” Connor raised an eyebrow at the woman.
Never mind, she’s batshit crazy.
“No, you’re not. There’s no way you can be my car.”
“I am.” The woman frowned. “If you don’t believe me then check.” The human bit his lip and looked at Luna.
“Watch her.” The man said as he left the room. Luna kept her eyes on the woman.
“I’m surprised you didn’t break my front seat with that big rump of yours.” Luna hissed at the remark and made the cage smaller.
“WHAT?” The man’s voice echoed through the home. Connor stomped his way back up to the room and looked absolutely pissed. “Where. Is. My. Car?” He yelled.
“Right here.” The woman said pointing to herself. “I’m your car.”
“No, no you’re not, you’re a crazy woman who is going to be in a lot of trouble if she doesn’t start talking.” He said pulling out his cell phone. “My car is big, strong and beautiful.”
“Awe, thank you.” The woman smiled. “I was already a relic when you were young and saw me underneath that old Ford Bronco in the Bronx trash yard.” Connor took a step back and looked at the woman in confusion. “And the first time you got behind my wheel you said-”
“That you were the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” The man could barely believe the words coming out of his mouth.
“Then you stole me two days later. And I stole you, Connor.” She smiled as she rested her head on one of the bars.
“I borrowed you.” He muttered under his breath.
“Borrowing implies you planned to return the thing that was taken.” She smiled. “What makes you think that I’d ever give you back and let some other car have you?” The man was bewildered. The woman then turned around and dropped the covers. On her lower back was the Chevelle SS symbol.
“You’re Ruby?” He whispered.
“Yes.” She said smiling.
“MY Ruby?”
“My Connor.” She said turning back around. “Are you going to let me out of here or not?” The human gave the Princess a nod and she dropped the cage.
“How is this even possible?” The human asked. “Were you always like this? Have a conscience I mean?”
“I don’t know.” The redhead stated. “The first thing I see when I opened my eyes was your garage and then every moment of my non-life flashed through my head. I do remember seeing a bolt of blue light come through the garage window though.” Luna bit her lip and scanned her with her horn.
“Uh-oh.” She said as she face palmed.
“What?” Connor asked.
“Remember that spell that I shot off after your horn job?” The two blushed brightly at the memory. “The magic must have transformed it-”
“Her.” The two humans said.
“Her into a human.”
“Is it permanent?” Connor asked. Luna gave another scan and saw her magic exiting the woman’s body.
“No, it won’t last more than a day.”
“Oh. I see.” Connor said in a sad tone. He then felt his cell phone going off. “Hello?” He said as he saw Thunderlane’s contact pic show up on the phone.
“Dude, get over to the barn. Comet is back.”
“On my way.” Connor said hanging up. “I need to go see how Comet made out.” He looked at the two girls and sighed. “Want to come?”
“Yes, but I need something to wear.” Luna said leaving the room.
“Right, so what’s your name?” Connor asked as the woman deadpanned.
“You already gave me a name.”
“Did you have one before that, or have something you want to be called?”
“Well, you called me...sexy.” The man blushed and made a shh gesture.
“Only when we’re alone!”
“We are alone.” She said.
“Oh....well, c’mon then sexy.” He smiled. “First, let’s get you some clothes.”
~~~
Thankfully, Luna managed to conjure some clothes for Ruby to wear and the three made their way towards the farm house. The group saw a familiar red stallion leaning against the barn. “Morning Mac.” Connor said.
“Morning.” He then noticed the two girls. “Azure.” The blue mare smiled at him. “Err, who’s the other one?”
“My car, Ruby. She got hit with Azure’s magic blast from last night so now she’s a human temporarily.” Mac scratched his chin and sighed.
“Fine. Ah don’t understand all that magic nonsense anyway.” Connor then turned to the two girls.
“Okay, you two need to wait out here for a few minutes.”
“Why?” Ruby asked.
“It’s guy stuff.”
“Ugh, fine.” Luna pouted. Connor followed Mac into the barn to see the other five stallions. Soarin was now back to his normal self. A thick silence was about the air and the human felt best if it was broken. “So when’s the-”
“I didn’t ask her.” Comet peeped out. The other males stared at him in shock at the news.
“WHAT?” Caramel and Thunderlane yelled.
“I-I got cold hooves!”
“Do you know home much of his shit I had to go through?” Caramel yelled as he pointed at Thunderlane.
“Can it.” The jeweler said with a sigh. “What happened Comet?” Pierce asked in a more comforting tone.
“Okay, so Twi and I went to dinner and I was psyching myself up to ask her. Then I felt all this doubt come and I got scared.” He said hanging his head low. Mac put a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s alright partner. Took ma dad a dozen times before he finally asked mom to marry him.” The stallion said.
“It’s just that last night was planned so perfectly! It has to be special. A night Twi will never forget.” The stallion said in defeat.
“Well, why not do it on her birthday?” Caramel suggested.
“That already happened and there’s nothing big happening soon.”
“Not necessarily.” All heads turned towards the doorway to see Azure and Ruby. Soarin quickly hid behind Big Mac as he saw the Unicorn. “How was your night Soarin?” Azure asked in a sweet tone.
“I feel violated.” He whined.
“Let that serve as a lesson to you.” Soarin shivered at the mare’s words.
“So Connor, who’s your friend?” Thunder asked looking at Ruby.
“Okay, remember Azure’s little magic mishap last night?” The stallions nodded as they remembered the incident. “Well, that bit of magic hit my car and well.” He said turning towards Ruby.
“Are you sure you didn’t ask Azure to change her-”
“No!” He yelled at Soarin. The car saw a golden opportunity to embarrass the human and gladly took it.
“Hello, I’m sexy.” Ruby smirked making the man blush.
“Not a word.” The grouped laughed at the human while he pinched the bridge of his nose and prayed they’d get back on track.. “Anyway, she’s like this for the rest of the day.” Connor groaned. “What’s up Azure?”
“The meteor shower that Twilight and her friends saw will be happening again soon. This weekend at 9:00pm to be exact.” She nodded.
“How do you know?” Thunder asked.
“I’m an astronomer. Tis my job to know.” She said crossing her arms under her chest.
“Tis?” He raised an eyebrow.
“But what about if I get cold hooves again?” Comet gulped.
“So why don’t all you guys just go camping?” Ruby interjected. All the males shivered at the words. Not one of them could look one another in the eyes as the redhead spoke. “It’ll be romantic and it has a good cover story in case your girlfriend gets wise.”
“Rainbow Falls has an excellent vantage point for seeing such a spectacle.” Azure said. The males looked at one another in an uneasy way.
“Huddle!” Soarin said and the males formed a tight circle. The two girls couldn’t hear their mumbles well enough to make it out.
“It sounds like a good idea.” Mac shrugged.
“Hey are you guys forgetting what happened last-” Caramel was silence by a slap to the face, courtesy of Thunderlane.
“We swore we’d never talk about that!” He hissed.
“Look,” Conner started. “it won’t be like last time. How about we bring the mares with us?” Thunder bit his lip as he pondered the words.
“It’s gonna take a lot to convince Rarity to go camping.” The stallion said as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Then get Sweetie Belle excited. You know Rarity can’t resist seeing her sister pouting.”
“That is devious. I like it. Besides Rumble has been wanting to go camping for a while now.” The flyer smiled.
“Getting AJ and Applebloom on board shouldn’t be hard.” Caramel said.
“Okay, we’ll text you with the details.” Comet stated. With that, the group went their separate ways. Connor and the two girls went back into town to get some food. As they walked through the sleepy town, several eyes were on the newly transformed human.
The bell that hung on Sugar Cube Corner’s rang out as the trio walked through the door. They grabbed a booth and the two human’s sat down across from the mare. Pinkie soon came out and took their orders. Connor ordered a simple egg sandwich with cheese and a cup of coffee. Not knowing much about what she’d like, Ruby ordered the same with a side of hash browns. Azure ordered a stack of waffles that made Connor and Ruby chuckle. Azure stuck her tongue out while Pinkie went off to fill their order.
Soon, their food came out and Pinkie started planning for Ruby’s party, as is her nature. Connor also threw in the bit about camping and she was more than happy to agree. Ruby took a bite of her sandwich and a fork full of hash browns that made her choke. She guzzled down a glass of water and gasped.
“That was scary.” She panted.
“Take time to chew your food.” Connor said in a lectured toned.
“In case you hadn’t noticed, cars don’t have cheeks,” She used her pointer fingers to pull her cheeks apart. “or mouths for that matter. Stupid potatoes.” The redhead said as she took a bite out of her sandwich. Luna chuckled as the man got up to use the restroom.
“So you’ve been with Connor a long time?” The mare inquired.
“Yeah, since he was sixteen.” She said. “Course I wasn’t conscious during those years.” Ruby sighed in a somber tone.
“Something wrong?”
“It’s just,” The redhead rubbed her eyes for a moment. “he spent so much time brining me back from the grave and I’ve nothing in return.”
“You got him from place to place.” Luna stated. Ruby gave her a deadpanned look.
“Yeah, I drove him, but what good is that? I couldn’t console him in anyway when he needed it. I couldn’t laugh with him” She hung her head and groaned. “This must be what grief is.” She sighed. “I just wish I could let him know how much I appreciate all he’s done for me.” The human cam back and continued eating. The rest of the meal was spent in silence. Luna then had a thought.
“Perhaps you should invite Pipsqueak on this camping trip?” Luna said.
“Not a bad idea.” Connor shrugged. “I’m sure Twi might bring Spike and it sounds like the CMC are coming so he should have a good time. I may have to clear it with Sunny first though.” After they finished eating they mad their way towards the orphanage. Connor walked into the office and greeted the golden Pegasus mare. While he told her about his idea, Ruby and Luna were chatting.
“So you have the hots for Connor huh?” Ruby said bluntly. Luna’s face went as red as her hair.
“Wh-what?” she said in a flustered tone.
“Oh come on. I’m not an idiot, besides he’s had girls in my back seat.” Luna hissed and grumbled as she heard the words. Ruby then leaned forwards so she was right in front of the mare. “Word for the wise, hurt him and I will redefine the phrase road rage.” The door opened to show the human.
“Okay, it’s all set. That reminds me, we need to get the camping gear.” Connor said looking at Azure. “I think I have a spare sleeping bag.”
~~~
Meanwhile, Twilight and her friends were chatting at the large meeting table. “So, think it’s a good idea?” Applejack asked. “Why would Comet suddenly want to go camping?” Rarity asked.
“I don’t know, but if Azure and Connor are going-”
“They are.” AJ interjected. “Mac confirmed it.”
“Then it’s the perfect opportunity to get them together.” Dash smirked devilishly.
“I’m still not one-hundred percent on board for this.” Twilight gulped. “If we’re wrong and it backfires, then there could be serious consequences.” The lavender mare shivered at the thought of an enraged Luna.
“Oh come on dear, it can’t be that bad. Besides, they’d look so cute together.” Rarity cooed. Twilight sighed reluctantly and agreed with her friends’ idea.
“Okay, so we’ll go with the guys and bring the CMC and Spike so he doesn’t suspect anything.” Dash stated. “Then we’ll make sure to get them alone in the right spot.”
“How?” Fluttershy asked.
“Leave that to me.” Dash snickered to herself.
“I have a bad feeling about this.” Twilight sighed.
~~~
Connor and the two girls spent the rest of the day looking through camping gear. As they rummaged through closets, Connor and Ruby started started reminiscing about things back on Earth. “It still took you three days of cleaning to get that stain out of my back seat.” Ruby said scrunching her nose.
“Yeah, that was some party.” He chuckled. “Remember Rob?”
“Blonde and mouth as big as his biceps?” Connor nodded. “Yeah, he almost crushed my back springs and-” The woman’s eyes shrank and fell to the floor. Connor and Luna both rushed to her side and helped her over to the couch. The redhead started couching and some black liquid came out of her mouth. Connor dabbed his finger in the liquid and sniffed it.
“Oil.” He said as Luna scanned the woman’s body with a line of magic coming from her horn.
“The magic is starting to wear off.” She said as Ruby sat up. “She’ll turn back into a car soon.”
“There’s no way to stall it?” Connor asked. Luna shook her head at the words. The man let out a disappointed sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, how much longer?”
“Less than an hour.” Luna noticed Ruby giving her a look. “I’ll go check the closet upstairs.” The mare quickly made herself scarce and left Ruby to it.
“You don’t want me to change back. Do you?” She said sitting up.
“Well....I don’t....I mean-”
“It’s okay.” She smiled.
“It’s just....It’s nice having someone around that’s like me.” He sighed. “It’s nice having someone to talk to that knows all those old stories and what not.” His tone dropped a bit. Ruby rested her head on his shoulder and huffed.
“If anyone should feel sad it’s me.”
“Yeah I can imagine. You finally get self awareness and you lose it in a day.”
“That’s not what I mean.” She said as she looked at him. “It’s just....you brought me back from the dead and what have I done in return? Nothing.”
“No, you did plenty.” Connor said in a supportive tone.
“Oh really? Like what?” She asked in an accusing tone. Connor scratched his chin and took a moment to think.
“When I needed to be alone you helped me with that.” The redhead rolled her eyes at him. He put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, remember the time we went up to upstate New York and just drove through the Catskill mountains?” The woman smiled at the memory. “There was no drama, no problems. Just us and the open road. That’s what you gave me, a quiet place to think when everything was going to shit. You didn’t have to say anything, you just had to do what you did best.” He put his arm around her and smiled.
“Still I-” He put a finger on her lips.
“That’s enough out of you. You did what you could and that’s all that I needed.” He smiled.
“So you prefer me as a car?” She asked.
“I like you because you’re my Ruby, car, human whatever. I do like the fact that you can talk now and I’m really gonna miss that.” Ruby clutched her stomach again and groaned as more of the oil filled her mouth.
“I’m almost out of time.” As she stood up her legs gave out and Connor managed to catch her. He picked her up bridal style and carried her down to the garage. Connor felt a shiver run through her body and a wetness on his chest. He looked down at her to see she was crying.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m just....I’m just really scared.” She sniffled. Connor rubbed her arm as he got down to the garage and turned on the light. The concrete floor had several oil and grease stains.
“Everything will be okay.”
“Liar.” She said as he put her down on the floor. Connor turned his head to see Luna coming down the steps. Ruby coughed up a larger amount of oil.
“It’s starting.” Ruby rose to her feet slowly. The redhead looked down at her glowing hands and a black tear filled her eye.
“Connor,” She said as the rest of her body started to glow. “I wanted to say something to you, but I didn’t know how to say it.” She clutched her stomach in pain. Connor took a step forwards but was stopped by the mare’s arm. Luna shook her head. Of course, the magic was too unstable. If he intervened then who knows what could happen to him? Ruby recomposed herself and coughed. “Took me all day to figure out what it was.” She smirked.
Connor felt tears forming in his eyes and looked down at his feet. “Goodbye, right?” The woman smiled and put her hand to his left cheek and raised his head so their eyes met.
“No, I just wanted to say hello. It’s nice to meet you.” The woman stepped back and cried out in pain as her body glowed red. Connor and the mare shielded their eyes from the blinding light and heard a the sound of a small explosion. when they opened their eyes again the woman was gone and the car was back. Luna watched as the man walked up to the car and put a hand on the roof.
“Connor?” The man quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and sighed.
“I’m gonna just give her a once over. Make sure she’s still working right.” The mare nodded and left the garage to finish packing her things. Connor lifted the car’s hood up and checked all the major systems to see if anything was damaged. He got behind the car and turned the key and it roared to life.
He put his hand on the dashboard and nodded. The radio suddenly turned on and a song played through the speakers. ‘Hello.....It’s me.’ The pain in the man’s chest was gone and he smiled.
“Clever girl.”
Author's Note
HOLY CRAP IT'S BEEN A WHILE!
Chapter 14: The Starry Sky
Chapter 14
The Starry Sky
The group of friends gathered at Twilight’s castle and double checked their supplies. Sunny allowed Pip to go camping with the group of friends. The CMC, Spike and Rumble were going so he wouldn’t be the only foal there. All of the adult males had grim expressions on their faces, but kept up a cheery outlook when the mares were talking to them.
With their stuff packed the group headed off to Rainbow falls with Rainbow and Applejack leading the pack. “How long will it take us to get there?” The blue mare asked.
“Well, if the weather holds, then we should be there in three days.” Connor said as he looked at the map.
“Have you ever been camping Azure?” Pipsqueak asked as he looked up at the blue mare.
“I don’t recall the last time I went camping.” It had been over a thousand years since the Princess had been out in the wilderness. She enjoyed the feeling of freedom of being out in the wilderness with no rules or guidelines to follow.
“Yeah, you could probably say that the last time Azure went camping, ponies had just invented the wheel.” Connor chuckled. Normally Luna would have made a snide remark, but her heat induced emotions had a better idea. She swirled her tail a few times and cracked it like a whip against the man’s rear. “Ow!” He yelled as he rubbed his posterior.
Do not make fun of our age mortal!
Don’t be so testy and it’s not like I was lying. The mare scrunched her nose and glared at him. The group continued through the forest and more than twice Rarity yelped at the slightest sign of an insect. The rest of the group couldn’t help but chuckle at the fashionista’s reactions. The group pressed on and eventually came upon their first campsite. The stone fire ring Applejack had built from her last visit was still intact.
Each group started to set up their tents, but Luna was struggling with the poles. “Infernal contraption! I demand you assemble.” Connor chuckled at the mare’s stammering.
“Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that.”
“You humans have such annoying devices.” She went back to work on the tent poles and at one point even got tangled in the mess of rods and cords. “A little help?”
“Why? You’ve almost got it.” Connor’s comment earned him another glare from the Princess. The human then stepped in and untangled her from the mess. Connor then started to put the tent together correctly. See? Not that hard.
I will feast on your flesh! Connor looked at the mare with surprise and terror in his eyes.
Jeez, lighten up will you? We’re here to support Comet remember? Luna huffed and gave him a nod in agreement. The group kept up getting their camp together and then started to explore the nearby area, but Applejack, Caramel and Mac stayed behind to keep an eye on the camp. The males didn’t want a repeat of what happened last time. Connor, Luna and Pip stayed in a group as they walked around the groves of trees. Once in a while they’d hear a shriek coming from Rarity who’d occasionally discover something new to fuss over.
When the sun stared to set they all headed back to camp to find AJ cooking some stew. They each happily took a bowlful of the stew and the group started to converse about mindless things.
“What if your legs forgot they were legs?” The group all turned to look at the blue winged flyer.
“What are you talking about?” Pierce stated.
“Like, what if you woke up one day and your legs just forgot their function?”
“So you think that legs have their own brains?” Pierce said with a raised eyebrow.
“No.”
“Then how could your legs forget something if they don’t have a brain in the first place?” Conner asked. Soarin opened his mouth to speak, but didn’t have anything to back up his claim.
“Wow, that was possibly the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.” Dash said as she looked at her colt friend.
“Stupidest thing he’s said so far,” Caramel added. “there’s always room for more mediocrity.” Soarin crossed his arms and grumbled to himself.
“Oh come on, compared to the crap Caramel caused last time we went camping?” Thunder kicked his leg to get him to shut up. AJ set down her bowl and glared at the males.
“Okay, now what in the name of Equestria happened?”
“Nothing, nothing happened.” Mac said suddenly feeling hot under the collar.
“Nothing happened my left hoof.” Dash furrowed her brow. Connor then stood up.
“Look it’s been a long day and we have a lot of ground to cover tomorrow. So I am turning in.” The man said as he walked over to his tent with Luna following behind. They both climbed into their sleeping bags and Connor let the day’s exhaustion take him. Luna on the other hand was having trouble relaxing and she inhaled a deep breath from the borrowed sleeping bag. She felt her legs shake and her cheeks turn hot.
His scent is everywhere! She thought as he hand slowly started to inch down her stomach. Luna remembered that the man was sleeping right next to her and stopped herself. She heard Connor mumble something in his sleep and she turned her head to see him rolling over. He must be having a dream. She bit her lip as a thought came into her mind.
Her horn glowed blue and she closed her eyes as she entered the dream. She found herself in a cave and the weather had turned rotten. Rain was coming down in buckets and several flashes of lightning illuminated the cave.
“There’s a cave up here!” A familiar red furred stallion yelled. She soon saw the rest of the males trudge into the cave. All of them were soaking wet and their packs were no better condition. The dream had an odd feel about it and she realized that it was no dream, it was a memory.
“Comet, please tell me you know a fire spell.” Thunder said as he rubbed his arms to get some heat back in them. The unicorn nodded.
“Yes, but I need something to burn.” Connor looked into his pack and pulled out some dry twigs and a ball of string. Comet carefully backed them together and focused his magic. Soon the center of the small fire pit started to smolder and small flames burned. The group took turns venturing out into the storm to collect what dry wood they could find, or at the very least what wood that wasn’t soaking wet.
“I thought you said it was supposed to be sunny for the next few days.” Caramel said as he shot Thunderlane a pointed look.
“That’s what the report said!” He exclaimed. “Did you guys even see the clouds? They were like a checker board!”
“Is Rainbow drunk or something?” Pierce said as he warmed his hands.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but I have a feeling it’s Twilight’s fault.” Connor said with a shiver.
“What makes you say that?” Mac asked.
“Whenever something weird happens around here when isn’t it her or one of the girls’ fault?” He said in a bland tone. Connor then shifted his gaze to Pierce. “I still can’t believe you lost all of our food.”
“It wasn’t my fault, those bears came out of nowhere.” He protested.
“I told you to make a bear bag.” Comet groaned.
“I had to cut wood with Mac and Connor, so I told Thunder to do it.” The jeweler pointed to the grey winged stallion.
“And I told Caramel to do it while I filled the canteens with Soarin.” All eyes turned to the earth pony stallion.
“I forgot to do it.” Connor rubbed his temples and groaned. Another flash of lightning startled the group and they all shivered as cold wind billowed into the cave.
“We’re gonna catch a cold if we don’t do something about our clothes.” The stallions and human silently stripped down to their under clothing and laid their soaking wet pants and shirts close to the fire. Luna couldn’t help but lick her lips as she ogled the males as they peeled the wet clothing off their bodies.
“Anyone got anything to eat?” Caramel asked. The group looked through their packs and managed to find some trail mix and a bit of beef jerky Connor had brought. They ate silently and they all agreed to head back to town the next day. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew into the cave and scattered the small fire.
The males ran around in a panic trying to find the smoldering pieces to salvage their only source of warmth. They all brought out their flashlights and looked around, but found nothing.
“Well, that’s just great!” Soarin yelled. “Now what the hell are we supposed to do, freeze to death?” A long silence fell over the group as they shivered. Finally Connor swallowed his pride and spoke up.
“The only way we’re making it through the night is if we huddle together for warmth.” All eyes turned towards the human. “It’s what humans do in a situation like this, it works. Our combined body heat will keep us all warm.” The stallions all gave each other a look and were silent for several minutes as they weighed their options. Finally, Mac spoke in a deep voice.
“This never leaves the cave.” The all gave a nod and they started lying down next to each other. “Why do I get the end?” Mac ground as he felt the wind against his back.
“Because you’re the biggest one of us, so you’re our wind breaker.” Caramel said. They were quiet for a very long time as they waited to fall asleep. In his trying to get comfortable, Connor accidentally brushed up against the phone in his hands and a familiar tune rang out.
~My mind’s telling me no, but my body is telling me yes!~
“Turn that off!” The stallions yelled at the human who quickly shut off his music.
“Sorry!” The human gulped and lamented that his phone had no service.
“I think I read a porno like this once.” Comet said.
“Read?” Thunder asked.
“Twilight has a lot of dirty books.” The males all nodded in understanding.
“What was the plot?” Caramel asked.
“This explorer gets lost in the woods and comes across a tribe of jungle mares.” He began. “Because he entered their woods he was forces to pass a stimulus test by having sex with all of them.”
“Sounds like heaven.” Soarin chuckled.
“Yeah, but the chief of the tribe did all sorts of things.” Comet said as he remembered. “Bondage with vines, mares rubbing up against one another and-“ A shrill cry of surprise came from Pierce who bolted up and backed away from the group. “What?”
“What the fuck Thunderlane?” He pointed an accusatory finger at the grey stallion who’s wings were pointed straight up and an evident bulge in his boxers. Even in the dark the group could see the flushed cheeks on both stallions.
“Sorry! It was Comet’s story!” Connor let out a loud groan and glared back at the two.
“If you both don’t shut up then I swear to God I’ll skin you both and use your fur as a blanket!” Both stallions glared at the human and each took a different position away from one another. Luna could barely control her laughter as she watched the events. Sun shined into the cave the next morning, and one by one the males stirred. Comet shook his head and felt something odd.
“Caramel, where is your hand?” The stallion yawned and absentmindedly answered.
“Between two soft pillows.”
“Those aren’t pillows!” At the shout everyone stood up and glared at the light brown stallion. “I feel so violated.” Comet shivered. The group then got back into their somewhat dry clothes and looked at one another with a blazing intensity.
“Okay, right here we all make a pact,” Connor said in a firm tone. “that we never tell anyone what happened here.” All the stallions nodded in agreement. “If anyone spills the beans, they lose a testicle.” Connor said flipping open his pocket knife.
“Which one?” Thunder gulped.
“Like it matters.” Pierce said as he rolled his eyes.
“Oh it matters!” Thunderlane protested.
“Shut up!” Connor commanded and the stallions listened. “If the mares hear about this then we’ll never hear the end of it and I don’t want to hear about some ‘Brokeback Mountain’ bullshit either. Got it?” The group all swore their secrecy as they left the cave behind. Luna was on the ground laughing until her lungs gave out as the dream started to collapse.
Back in the real world, Connor was gently shaking the Princess’s shoulder. Luna’s eyes fluttered open and instantly covered her mouth to prevent herself from laughing. “Are you okay Luna?” He asked as Luna turned over to hide her face. She pulled her hand away when she felt something warm and wet on her fingers.
“You’re bleeding from your nose, you okay?” Luna nodded and wiped her upper lip clean with her arm.
“Yes, we are fine.” Connor raised an eyebrow, but pushed it aside as he got out of the tent and stretched. After a quick breakfast, the group took down their tents and re-packed their packs. As they kept moving, Luna could not shake the memory she’d witnessed from her mind and sometimes caught herself giggling. She’d also caught herself staring at the human and feeling herself get hot under the collar and other areas of her anatomy.
The group came to the next campsite and started to make their camp. Connor, Mac and Carmel left to find some firewood while Luna was forced to wrestle with the tent that seemed to love to not go together. Dash had a sly grin on her face and walked over to the blue mare.
“Having trouble?”
“Yes, I loathe this infernal thing.” Luna huffed as she threw one of the sticks on the ground.
“How about you help AJ with the stew and I’ll set up the tent.” Luna smiled and walked over to where the orange mare was getting her cooking supplies ready. Connor and the other two stallions came back with the wood and soon got a fire going. Luna kept laughing to herself over what she saw earning a few odd looks from the mares and stallions. Applejack pulled Connor aside and nodded her head towards the blue mare.
“Is Azure feeling okay? She’s been acting mighty weird.”
“She’s been like that since this morning after she had a nose bleed.” Connor shrugged when she asked him how that happened. The group sat down for their supper and a coy smile formed on Luna’s lips.
“Connor, might we have some music?” the rest of the group agreed and Connor handed her his phone. Luna scrolled through his playlist and an all too familiar tune started playing. All the stallions’ faces went ashen and Connor quickly took his phone back.
“That song isn’t appropriate for the children.” He was using them as an excuse of course, but she didn’t need to know that. Luna only continued to giggle to herself as she looked at the males’ discomfort. Thankfully, Comet struck up a game of Million Bits but.
“You get a million bits,”
“A lot of money.” Carmel added.
“But, you get tastebuds on your hands.” The group all grimaced at the scenario.
“Just imagine what would happen when you went to the bathroom.” Thunder gagged.
“I wouldn’t do it.” Pierce said and the other males followed suit.
“I’d do it!” Pinky said with a smile. It was no surprise to anyone that the pink mare would agree to do it as she never wanted to miss out on a new experience. The group went back and forth, each scenario getting worse that the last. Eventually they called it a night and Connor looked inside the tent and noticed something odd.
“Azure, where’s your sleeping bag?” The mare looked inside the tent and only saw the human’s laying in the enclosure. “Tell me you didn’t leave it at the last camp?”
“I swear I had it all day.” She said with a yawn.
“Screw it, we’ll figure it out in the morning. I suppose we could share mine.” The man’s face went bright red as the words came out of his mouth. “I’m sorry about that, I’m tired from today.”
“I-It’s fine!” Luna gulped as he face was also bright red. “We do not mind.” Connor nodded and made his way inside the tent and crawled inside the sleeping bag making sure to leave some room for the Princess. Luna slowly slid in beside him and she instantly felt her cheeks go red. Connor was no better as he felt her soft fur brush against his skin. “Goodnight.” She said nervously.
“Night.” Connor said as he turned in the bag so his back was to the blue mare. He attempted to fall asleep, but couldn’t shake the thought of the blue mare sleeping next to him. He felt her tail brushing up against his leg. Just as he was starting to nod off, the mare turned on her side and Connor felt her arms wrapping around his torso and her legs become tangled with his.
As he tried to wiggle free her grip tightened and she rested her head on his chest. In the dark of the night he could just barely make out her features. He could not deny that she looked very attractive like this. His thoughts were pushed aside as he realized that not only was his arm being firmly squeezed between her breasts, but his hand had ended up between the blue mare’s legs.
The feeling in his arm was starting to fade due to lack of blood circulation. He struggled to wrench his arm free from the Princess’ embrace. He paused when her body shifted and she let out a gasp. He looked at her and saw she was still asleep, although she appeared to be grinding herself against his arm. He struggled again to get his arm free but the mare’s grip only seemed to tighten and her legs started to shift.
A soft moan escaped her lips as she continued the motion and Connor felt a certain wetness coating his fingers. He paused as he moved his fingers more and another soft moan escaped her lips, yet her grip remained. Another stroke of his fingers and he realized that he had unintentionally getting to third base with the Princess. He quickly struggled to get his arm free with more gusto, now not caring about waking the princess.
“Luna, wake up!” He said in a firm tone. The mare only groaned and squeezed harder. He could feel numbness starting to take his limb and continued to squirm. With one final pull, his arm came free from the mare’s grip. The sudden loss of his arm made the Princess stir. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. Connor started shaking his arm to get some blood circulation back into it.
“What is going on?” Connor froze and thought of what would happen if the Princess realized what had happened in their sleep. None of them were pleasant.
“My arm just fell asleep.” He said as he stretched. “I’m gonna see what everyone else’s status is.” He said as he hastily threw on a better shirt and a pair of pants. He made his way outside and saw Applejack and Mac over the fire ring cooking breakfast.
“Morning Connor,” The red stallion said. The human only groaned in response. “rough night?”
“More like a rough morning.” He didn’t even want to talk about what happened else Luna catch wind of it and send him to the moon, or worse. The other campers started to rouse from their tents as the smell off food made its way through the camp. Eventually Azure joined them and took a seat beside the human. After dismantling their tents the group started to venture off to the final campsite where the viewing of the meteor shower would be incredible.
The group followed made their way down the trail that wound through the forest and passed some caves AJ had camped in before. After a long day of walking they finally arrived at Rainbow Falls in the late afternoon. After they set up camp, the males all gathered around Comet. “So, what’s your plan?” Connor inquired.
“The meteor shower should be within sight by eleven o’clock. I want to ask her during it.” He turns to Soarin and Thunderlane. “I want you two to make sure the skies are clear.” The two pegasi nodded in understanding.
“I want the rest of you to keep the mares busy while I pop the question. The less eyes on me the better.” He pointe up to the top ridge that was above the falls. “I’ll be up there.”
“Looks kinda precarious.” Carmel commented. Connor and Mac had to agree with the carpenter. Neither of them were experts on ledges, but that one definitely looked unstable.
“It’s the best viewing spot here.” The group broke and decided to make their way back to camp while Thunderlane came up beside Connor.
“So I couldn’t help but overhear some moaning sounds coming from your tent this morning.” The other’s turned back towards Connor’s blushing face.
“Nothing happened.” Connor said in a flat tone. The Pegasus smirked slyly.
“Sure, Connor I totally believe you.” The human growled at him. The others all raised an eyebrow at the motion.
“Dude, did you just growl at him?” Caramel commented. Connor was surprised and shook his head.
“Whatever, I’m tired.” Connor sighed as they got back to camp where AJ had gotten a fire going. Azure then walked up to the human.
“What were you speaking about?” The human shrugged.
“Guy stuff.” Luna pouted and crossed her arms under her chest. “Look there’s a pact we all follow.” Luna chuckled and couldn’t stop her self.
“What happens in the cave, stays in the cave?” Connor froze and turned to face the mare.
“What did you just say?” Luna realized her blunder and felt beads of sweat from on her brow. She felt his dark brown eyes peer into her soul. It was equally frightening as it was making her feel warm.
Oh take me up against a tree now!
Shut up! She yelled against the lewd thoughts.
“We just heard it somewhere.” Connor sniffed the air around her like a dog would.
“Yeah, I smell bullshit.” He said as he leaned closer and narrowed his eyes. “Where did you hear that from?” Luna gulped as she tried to keep herself from tackling him to the ground and taking him right there in the middle of camp.
“I heard you say it in your dream!” She said before clamping her hands over her mouth. Connor’s eyes widened and an embarrassing flush rose to his cheeks.
“You went into my head?” He said as his upper lips snarled.
“It looked like you were having a nightmare and I saw what happened the last time you and the stallions went camping.” His face paled and he checked to make sure no one heard her. He took her by the hand and went to some of the trees to talk to her. Once they were hidden he crossed his arms and Luna felt blush rise to her cheeks.
Yes, take me now in the dirt like the animal I am!
Shut up! Connor pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.
“How much did you see?” He asked in a calmer tone.
“The cave part.” She said as she bit back a laugh. He groaned again. “Are you angry?” She asked meekly.
“I’m disappointed.” He said in a tone a father would use for scolding a naughty child. “Don’t worry I know the perfect punishment for invading my privacy.” The human frowned as he went back to the group.
I hope it involves a spanking.
Silence you perverted wretch!
Technically you’re a perverted wretch. She thought as she followed suit. She saw Connor talking to Twilight and Spike. Connor wrote a quick note and then Spike sent it ablaze with his green fire. The human then gave her a wicked grin that made the Princess shiver.
“Hey guys come check this out.” Rainbow called out. The group followed the sound of her voice and stumbled upon a pool of pure rainbows just under the large outcropping over the falls.
“A rainbow pool?” Rarity stated.
“Dash’s natural camouflage.” The cyan flyer frowned at Caramel.
“Who’s up for taking a dip?” Pinkie chimed out.
“Pinkie it’s the middle of Autumn. The water’s gotta be like forty degrees.” Twilight stated. Rarity smiled and walked over to one of her many, many bags and pulled out a small red crystal.
“What’s that?” Mac asked as he looked at the strange stone.
“This is a hearth crystal.” She handed it to Thunderlane who threw it football style into the middle of the pool. The rainbow water slowly started to bubble and radiate heat. Conor bent down and stuck his hand in the pool.
“It’s warm. Like a hot tub.” He said before taking his hand out and shaking it dry.
“A lady is always prepared.” She said with a wry smile.
“Um, I didn’t bring my swimsuit.” Fluttershy peeped out. Rarity sapped her fingers and several different swimsuits appeared in front of the group.
“Walking wardrobe, that’s why I keep you around.” Thunder said as he put an arm around his mare friend’s waist. She turned back with a devilish look in her eye.
“Is that the only reason dear?”
“Well, there are a few other things.” He said with an equally lewd grin.
“Save it for your tent.” AJ said as she went back to her own to get changed. A few minutes later the group returned to the warm pool each with a color coordinated swim suit. Connor waited outside his tent wearing a pair of blue swim trunks waiting for Azure. She came out wearing a blue sweater that covered her top and her face was bright red.
The two wandered down to the others and Connor slowly slid into the warm pool.
“Oh that feels so good after a long day of walking.” He commented as the other’s whole heartedly agreed. Luna sat on the edge and just dipped her hooves in. “Why not come in more?”
“I do not feel like it.” She huffed as she wrapped her arms around herself. The human shrugged and enjoyed the warm water against his aching muscles while Pip, Spike and the other children play like they were pirates. The group spent the rest of the afternoon talking of small things. Eventually the group got out and started getting ready for dinner and viewing the meteor shower.
After quickly eating their food the group continued to chat among themselves as the sky grew dark and the viewing for the meteor shower became optimal. Comet gave the males all a nod and they broke off with their better halves to give Comet the privacy he needed. It was just Luna and him sitting around the fire. A heavy awkward silence was starting to grow between the two. Connor looked up at the night sky and sighed.
“I’m going for one last dip in the hot pond. Want to come?” Luna weighed her options and nodded. Connor was still wearing his now dry bathing suit and grabbed his towel before heading down to the rainbow pond. He looked up and saw the two familiar figures of Twilight and Comet making their way up to the top of the outcropping.
He slid himself into the pond and looked up at the stars for a while. He heard the sound of hooves against the ground and looked over to see the disguised Princess. Just as before she only dipped her hooves in the warm rainbow water. “Oh come on, hop in.” She shook her head. Connor couldn’t be sure, but he swore he saw a blush rise to her cheeks.
Sly as a cat, Connor exited the pool and stealthily made his way out. “I’m gonna go relieve myself.” He said to Luna as he went close to the tree line. He waited a moment and tip toed behind the unassuming Princess. He was so going to pay for this, but it would be so worth it.
Before she could react, Connor scooped the Princess up in his arms. The Princess shrieked at the sudden action and her eyes shrank as she realized what he was about to do.
“Don’t you dare,” She was cut off as the man jumped into the pool with the Princess in his arms. Connor broke the surface of the six foot pool and wiped the water off his face. He spun back around as he heard a loud snarl.
“Wretch!” Luna hissed as her eyes were glowing a menacing white. Normally Connor would have turned tail and run, but in her quick ascension to the surface her hoodie had slipped off and Connors eyes widened as he saw the swim suit beneath. Actually to call it a swimsuit was an overstatement, it was more like three small white triangles being held back by some straps of the same color.
The man felt a blush rise to his cheeks as he couldn’t help but stare at the mare’s outfit. He didn’t even see the mare lunge at him and he was soon submerged under the rainbow surface. Connor wrestled to break free from the mare’s grasp and managed to get his head above the water. Luna tackled him again and got him in a tight hold. Her wet body pressing up against his was making his cheeks flush, especially when he felt her soft mounds rub against him.
“You’re gonna drown me!” He coughed.
“Good!” She yelled as she tried to push him back under the water. Connor managed to wrap his leg around her waist and roll out from underneath the blue mare and switched their positions. He managed to wrestle her to the shore and pin her arms up over her head. Connor looked down and saw Luna panting. He couldn’t tell if her cheeks were red because she was embarrassed or enraged. He was betting on the latter.
In the moon light he could fully see her lean body underneath him. She tried to break free from his grasp but his grip was like tempered iron. Conor looked down and saw her blue tail wrap around his torso that slowly started to force him down closer to the mare. Try as he might, Luna was slowly getting free and overpowering him. With a quick twist, the mare regained her position on top of the human.
She wrapped her legs and tail around his torso and pinned his arms far away from his body. Connor froze as the moon’s light shined down on them. The moon’s light illuminated her body making her seem all the more terrifying and alluring.
“Okay, I give up.” She smiled at his surrender but tightened her legs and tail around him. He hands moved up to his shoulders and pushed him down.
“You are our prisoner now,” Her tone was soft and serious. “we own you.” She leaned forwards, her blue eyes piercing into his. Her chest was pressing against his once again and he could feel her hot breath on his face. His ears perked up as he heard something. The noise grew louder and louder and he looked to his sides looking for the source.
Luna’s ears twitched and she cocked her head. “Do you hear something?” Connor opened his mouth to respond but whatever he said was silenced as something fell into the pool creating a large splash. Luna quickly got off of the man and the two swam to the middle of the pool to see a familiar yellow furred stallion floating in the water.
Connor looped his rams around Comet’s torso and swam to shore as the other members of the trip made their way down to the pool. As they got to shore, Twilight appeared in flash of lavender light.
“What happened? We heard some mare scream then a hug splash.” Dash said as they crowded around while Twilight was trying to calm down.
“I don’t know what happened.” Tears were streaming down her face. “A piece of the cliff gave way and Comet fell.” Luna pressed her ear to the stallion’s chest and breathed a sigh of relief.
“He’s still breathing. The fall must have knocked him out.” Comet’s eyes slammed open and he shot up from the ground.
“What happened?” Twilight quickly wrapped her arms around her colt friend and cried into his shoulder.
“You fell off the cliff.” She sobbed.
“I told you that cliff was dangerous.” Caramel chastised. They all turned to look at him with annoyed expressions on their faces. “Right, shutting up now.” He clamped his lips shut as their attention went back to the other stallion.
“Take it easy Comet.” Connor said as he crouched next to his friend. “You could have a concussion, you hit the water pretty hard.” There were bruises already forming on the Unicorn’s chest and stomach. He no doubt hit the water chest first.
Mac and Twilight helped him up and walk him back up to the campsite. The group sighed heavily and slowly started to make their way back up. Connor was about to join them when a thought came to him. He stopped Pierce and whispered so only he could hear. “Where’s the ring?” Pierce’s eyes glanced to Twilight’s hand and saw that the ring was not on her finger.
The two looked back towards the water. “Oh great, it’s gonna take us hours to find that thing.”
“No it won’t.” Pierce’s horn glowed and a small ripple of magic washed over the water and two items glowed beneath the rainbow surface. Pierce snapped his fingers and the two items sped towards them with haste. The ring and stone stopped above Pierce’s hand. The gem stone had broken out of the ring during the crash.
“Can you fix it?”
“Yeah, but I need to get back to town to do so.” The two rejoined the group around the fire as Mac came out of Twilight and Comet’s tent.
“Comet is fine, but Twilight want’s to teleport him back to town and have Red Heart look at him. So start packing up unless you want to walk back tomorrow.” They all nodded and started to break down their tents and pack up their supplies. The children grumbled in disappointment that their trip got cut short. Connor kept quiet about the scene between him and Luna in the poll and she mimicked him.
An hour later, Twilight finished making the teleportation circle in the dirt. Everyone stepped inside with their supplies and waited as Twilight focused her magic. The spell circle glowed on the ground and Connor’s skin tingled as magic became ripe in the air. In a brilliant flash of light the group was transported into the castle’s meeting room.
Connor steadied himself on a nearby chair and groaned. “I don’t think I’ll ever get use to that.” He said as he fought back the nausea. Mac and Twilight helped Comet towards the hospital while the rest of the group dispersed and headed for their respected abodes. Connor invited Pip to sleep at his house which the colt graciously accepted.
Connor opened the door for the ponies and the dog that accompanied behind them. They all set their packs down and decided to deal with it the next day.
Author's Note
Also
Wow it has been a REALLY long time since I updated this one. Hope you all enjoyed it. Extra points if you catch the 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles' reference.
Chapter 15
Plan C
After a quick breakfast Connor and the blue mare met up with Comet and the other stallions at Mac’s farm. The group was circled around Comet who was explaining what happened when he tried to propose to Twilight. “I told you that cliff was dangerous.” Caramel stated as Connor entered.
“How are you feeling Comet?” Connor asked as he looked at the yellow stallion.
“Red Heart said it’s just a small concussion.” He said with a smile.
“Good to know that your thickheadedness is paying off.” Pierce said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the repaired ring. “I tightened the clamps around the stone so it won’t slip out again.” Comet thanked him and took the ring back. “Lose that and I’ll kill you.”
“Do you really think I’m that dumb?” The group was silent for a long moment as they stared at him. “Shut up.” He muttered.
“So got any more ideas?” Mac inquired. The group all fell into discussion about a number of ideas that could work but Comet shot them all down. Their talk was getting them no where and the group of friends were only getting more frustrated.
“I might have an idea.” The guys all turned to see Luna in her disguise approaching them.
“An idea for what?” Thunder said dumbly. Luna rolled her eyes.
“I know about the plan.” She said in a hushed tone as she stood beside Connor. The males all turned to glare at the human. “I saw the ring and you have a terrible poker face Comet. It’s a miracle no one else has caught on what you’re doing.” Comet groaned and rubbed his forehead.
“What’s your idea?”
“I happen to know that the Grand Galloping Gala is only two weeks away.” The group gave each other a look of surprise.
“Wait, isn’t that always in the Summer?” Pierce said as he scratched his head.
“It was cancelled to help repair the city after Tirek’s rampage and now that everything is back in order, the date has been rescheduled.” Luna said with a smile.
“How do you know that?” Without missing a beat, Luna answered the stallion.
“I have a few friends in Canterlot who work in the castle and you know how fast news spreads.”
“I thought Twilight said that was a total disaster?” Connor recalled the story the mares shared with him.
“You kidding me? It was a riot!” Soarin exclaimed as he recalled the events of that night and let out a loud boisterous laugh. “By far the best one Spits and I have ever been too.”
“Perfect, You take a really shitty night and turn it into the best night of Twilight’s life.” Connor suggested.
“Yeah, that could work.” Pierce said. “And we’ll be there to help you out.”
“We will?” The group said in unison.
“Yes, we don’t leave fellow stallions and humans hanging.” Pierce reaffirmed with a glare. The group all looked at one another and nodded.
“Ah’m in.” Mac stated. The other males agreed with the stallion.
“Now, how are we going to convince Twilight to go?” Connor smirked at the question and tugged his ear so Luna could see and open their channel.
Think Celestia could help us out here?
No problem.
“I think I know a way.” Connor smirked. “I’ll see if it can work, in the meantime see if you can get everyone together.”
“Rarity will need no convincing.” Thunderlane kicked off from the ground and took the skies with Soarin as the group dispersed. Connor and Luna slowly made their way back into town.
“When did you hear about the gala?”
“Just this morning.” Luna sighed. “Tia is insisting I attend.” The mare rolled her eyes at the thought.
“Aren’t you a Princess, I thought it was your job to mingle with high society?”
“You forget a few months ago I sent the crowned prince flying out of a window with a kick.” That was concerning and the whole reason why Luna had moved in with him. He could tell by the mare’s body language that something was troubling her. She was unusually quiet and her usual display of confidence was wavering. Connor wouldn’t pry into her affairs if she didn’t want to share them.
They got back home and settled on spending some time gaming. The silence and tension forming was extremely thick as the hours passed. One by one the confirmation text arrived saying the plan was coming together. Rarity was already hard at work making outfits for the group. As dusk started to appear the awkward tension became too much.
Connor paused the game and turned to face the mare.
“Okay Luna what’s going on, you’ve been acting weird all day long.” Luna dropped her head and sighed. She didn’t look sad, but anxious. She gripped the edges of her shirt and sighed.
“I have to go back to Canterlot.” A small stone formed in the human’s gut as he processed the words. “Celestia needs my help with setting up the event and I am unsure if I will be able to return.”
“Oh, I see.” The two were silent for a long minute. “When do you have to leave?”
“Tomorrow.” That stone sank deeper in his stomach. He knew Luna would return eventually, but he didn’t really think about how soon it would be. Hard to believe it had only been a few months since then, it felt like they’ve lived together for years now.
“Well, we’ll probably see each other at the Gala.” Mention of the even made her grumble. “Not a fan of parties?”
“I do not look forward going to massive social gathering alone.” Connor gave a half hearted laugh earning him a glare from the Princess. “Pray tell, what’s so amusing?”
“You go to the Gala alone? Yeah right.” The human chuckled. “If you show up alone I’ll wear a dress.”
“Glad to see someone finds humor in my pain.” Connor walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. The warm feeling spread through her and calm slowly replaced some of the anxiety.
“I’m sorry. I know you have mixed feelings about going back to Canterlot but I’m sure everything will be okay.” Her hand went to the one on her shoulder and squeezed.
“I’m just going to miss you.” She felt her cheeks grow dark as she admitted that to him and herself. He would miss her too and when he pulled his hand away, felt a small shiver of sadness form in his chest. The ate dinner in silence and headed to bed. In the morning Connor awoke to see Luna was gone.
Luna arrived in the Royal Canterlot castle with a flash of light and her bag of belongings slung over one shoulder. As she made her way to her room Celestia greeted her with a sisterly hug. “It’s so good to have you back Lulu. There’s a lot of planning to do.” Celestia started listing off the most important things as Luna reached the doors to her room.
“Yes Tia, let me just put my things- WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE STARS!?” Luna had spent days organizing her vast collection of video games and consoles. It was probably the most organized space she had in her room. That space was now devoid of any games safe for an Xbox 360 and a single game. Luna whirled on her sister and glared.
“Tia! What have you done with all my games?” Celestia grinned ruefully.
“I received a letter from Connor a few days ago about you snooping into his memories and using them against him?” Luna pursed her lips and mumbled something under her breath. “He said you needed to be punished and I agreed, though the request was unusual. He said you cannot play any games until you’ve finished that one.” She gestured to the green game case on the desk.
“That’s it? Just beat that game and then you’ll give me my stuff back?” Celestia nodded. Luna was surprised, she expected more from Connor given his mischievous nature. “Easy.”
“Gaming will have to wait until after you’ve helped me organize the Gala.” Luna nodded and Celestia left the room to get started. Luna walked over and inspected the lone game.
The human must be losing his touch for punishment. How is playing a Sonic game from 2006 a punishment?
Chapter 16
The Gala
The next two weeks went by rapidly for Connor and the rest of the group. Everyday Twilight had to school them on how to act properly in front of the nobility, paying extra attention to the more disruptive members of their group. Meanwhile Rarity was hard at work making the group’s attire. She mostly kept the dresses she and the mares used years ago with some modifications so they wouldn’t be the same. The mare made the suits for the stallions match their dates’ attires.
Rarity was horrified that Azure would not be in attendance since she had planned on her accompanying Connor and planned their outfits to match. It also became clear that Rarity would not have Connor going alone.
“I don’t see what the big deal is Rarity. People go to parties alone all the time.” He said Rairty triple checked to make sure his outfit fit him perfectly.
“Yes, social outcasts and shut ins. Besides this is the biggest party of the season.” She chastised while she made a note on a pad. “Not to mention given your status as a knight, it would be considered extremely awkward if you didn’t have a pretty mare on your arm.”
“I don’t even know who I’d go with.” Soarin came out from the changing room wearing his Wonderbolt dress uniform Rarity had spruced up for him.
“I could call in a favor and hook you up with a Wonder bolt.” Connor groaned and shook his head.
“Don’t use your influence to convince one of the rookies into doing something they don’t want to do.”
“I was talking about Spitfire.” Connor raised a brow. “She has to go, she’s the leader of the Wonderbolts and always complains about getting hounded by ponies wanting to be a Wonderbolt or asking her out.” Connor could think of one rainbow haired mare in particular who fit into both categories. “You get a date, won’t look like a loser and Spits doesn’t have to spend the night complaining, everyone wins.”
Connor sighed and considered his options. He had met Spitfire once or twice and she seemed cool, intimidating and had the air of authority that went with commanding the respect of a military branch, but cool. He gave Soarin the go ahead and the dates were set.
He hadn’t had any contact with Luna since her last message swearing eternal vengeance upon him for making her play through that abomination of a game. While the threats to do things anatomically impossible to him was frightening, any word from her brought a sense of warmth to him.
He hated to admit it, but he was feeling lonely without having someone around to spend time with. Sure there was Nero, but he couldn’t really have a conversation with him and everyone else had their own affairs to handle. He considered getting another roommate, but he was hesitant to give away Luna’s space like that. Who knows, she might need to spend the night once or twice.
Soon the night of the Gala arrived and the group departed Ponyville. Soarin, Dash and Spitfire would meet them in front of the gala since the Wonderbolts had to put on an opening show. Rarity had pulled out all the stops for Connor’s suit.
The jacket and pants were a deep blue color with a silver tie and matching lapels. Silver cufflinks and black leather shoes to match the belt. You always match the belt and shoes. As far as he could tell he was the only human in attendance and was getting a lot of odd looks. Once they saw he was part of Twilight’s entourage their whispers and leers ceased. The guys split off from the group of to strategize their plan.
“When’s a good time to pop the question?” Comet asked as his gold jacket shimmered in the evening light.
“Better to rip the bandaid off? Quick and done.” Thunderlane commented making Pierce shake his head.
“No, I’d say wait till things are starting to wind down for the night. Better for ambiance.”
“You do have the ring right?” Connor watched as Commet reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the small box and showed the repaired ring before quickly putting it back in. “Good. All we need to do is lay low and mingle. When the time is right, we’ll distract the girls and you can get Twilight alone.” A familiar blue stallion in tight blue and yellow flying suit landed near the group.
“Hey guys,” Soarin said pushing the goggles up over his eyes. “Dash, Spit and I will be in soon. Just got to get changed.” They filled him in on the plan before he took the skies and headed off to where he stashed his clothing. The group waited, soon Soarin and Dash on his arm arrived.
Soarin was wearing his dress uniform and Dash in her modified rainbow dress. Connor studied Soarin’s outfit and felt relieved that Spitfire’s would probably be in the same neighborhood as his; Plain blue with a few adornments and he assumed instead of pants she’s have a military issued skirt. The group continued to wait and Soarin raised his hand and called out to his captain. Connor turned and felt his jaw hit the ground.
The bright yellow mare’s attire was a strapless, fiery red dress with a deep plunge down the front going to her naval showing a generous amount of cleavage. The dress went down to her ankles and had a slit nearly going up to her right hip showing off her athletic build. Her mane which was usually neatly tied back into a braid had been combed and fell down past her shoulders. Connor felt Soarin lean over while smirking. “You’re welcome.” He whispered as she walked up to the group.
“Hey Soarin, Dash.” She gave each of them a nod. Connor felt her amber eyes slide over to him and look him over. “Well, you certainly clean up nice Connor.”
“I could say the same for you.” He gestured to her outfit. “I didn’t know you liked dressing up.” Spitfire groaned and rolled her shoulders.
“Normally I don’t, but Soarin insisted I ‘pull out all the stops’ as it were.” Connor looked at the blue flyer who was innocently whistling a tune. A barrage of trumpets sounded and everyone turned to see the large doors to the castle opening and ponies starting to head inside the main hall. “Shall we?” The mare held her arm out and Connor looped his through.
“Lets.” The two stayed with the group as they made their way inside. Princess Celestia was there to greet them all but there was no sign of Princess Luna. The hallway opened up to the great hall that had been decorated in every kind of finery to imagine. Streamers and ribbons hung from crystal chandeliers, a band was playing soft music in the far corner of the room and waiters were carrying all manner of hors d’oeuvres on silver platters.
“Gotta say, the nobility know how to throw a party.” Spitfire commented absentmindedly. Rarity was absolutely beaming at the decorations and fancy clothes everyone was wearing. Connor continued to feel eyes on him, although he had a feeling they were more interested with his date. “Ugh, I always hate it when they leer at me.”
Spitfire moved her arms to pull Connor closer to her and he could feel his face blushing a bit more as he felt his arm press against her chest.
“I know the feeling. Granted it’s for a different reason.” He whispered back to her.
“Oh I don’t know, I can think of a few mares who like exotic things.” She said as she gently bumped her hip to his. The group sat down at their table and spoke of little things of importance. It was a miracle Pinky hadn’t puled out her party cannon and fired it off. No doubt Pierce had a talk with her about it.
Celestia soon joined the festivities and took a seat on her gold throne that had a burning sun at the headrest. Beside it was a stone of midnight blue and a while moon fixed above. Yet, Luna was not there. Blazing trumpets echoed through the halls and everyone turned towards the grand staircase. A post stallion in a suit and well groomed mustache cleared his throat.
“Introducing Princess Luna of Equestria.” Everyone stood as Princess Luna stepped into view. Connor had to clench his jaw to prevent it from dropping. Her hair was tied back in an elegant ponytail and flowing black dress that reminded Connor of the calm night sky. Glittering jewels were worked into the fabric that shined in the light. An elegant silver crown sat atop her head and kept her hair to the sides framing her face.
The only sound in the room were her feet clicking against the white marble floor. Only when she sat on her throne did everyone else return to their conversations. Thunderlane leaned into the group and whispered.
“Damn Princess Luna has it going on.”
“You can say that again.” Rainbow said with nodding. AJ reached over and gently nudged Connor’s shoulder.
“Hey Connor, get your eyes back in your head.” Connor shook his head and looked back at the group sheepishly.
“Can you really blame him Applejack?” Rarity leaned in. “The Princess looks divine, I must get a closer look at that dress, it’s simply fabulous.” The Gala was soon in full swing after that and everyone had split off to start mingling with the crowd. Only Connor seemed to be the one left to his devices and that how he liked it.
A few attendees talked to him but they seemed to only care about any juicy information they could gleam about Twilight and her friends. He wasn’t having it and ended the conversation abruptly. Needing some air, he dipped out onto one of the balconies and loosened his tie for a moment. He stopped as he saw Princess Luna leaning on the stone railing at the edge looking out at the city bellow.
The lights in the grand hall didn’t do her justice. The dress was resplendent in the light of the full moon and her crown sparkled. He didn’t have to see her face to know that she was just as fed up with the party as he was. Connor cleared his throat and the Princess turned.
“Mind if I join you, your highness?” A bright smile cut across Luna’s face, but quickly cleared her throat remembering her position and their situation.
“It would be my pleasure sir Rowe.” She tilted her head down and he took a spot beside her and looked out towards Canterlot. He could see the majesty and beauty of the city. The windows lit up across the city mirroring the stars above.
“Haven’t seen you around the hall too much Princess.”
“I arrived late and I have no need of any more small talk with the nobility.” Her tone was firm and colder than ice. A long silence stretched between the two that was more apparent than the music and chatter coming from inside the palace.
“Well, you look amazing.” He said attempting to lighten the mood. Luna felt her face flush a little at the compliment.
“You as well. Generosity is quite proficient in her craft.” She eyed the suit and noted how well it fit his figure. “Captain Spitfire also looks quite beautiful.” She said the last words with a little more edge to her voice than needed. No doubt she had seen the attire and wasn’t keen on having her pressed so close to the human.
“It was Soarin’s idea.” Connor admitted. “Rarity wouldn’t stop hounding me until I agreed to take someone with me.” He said with a roll of his eyes. “I hope your date won’t throw me from the ramparts for taking up your time.” Luna let out a bitter laugh and rolled her eyes.
“You are safe for the night.” He raised a brow at her words and she sighed. “I am here alone.” Connor couldn’t help but gawk at the words. Sure, he was one thing but a Princess alone at a gala was unheard of.
“No one would agree to escort me, not without ordering them to and I don’t want to force any guard under my command to do something as frivolous as that under duress.” Connor just shook his head in disbelief.
“But you’re THE Princess Luna, I’d figure anyone would be lucky to escort you here.” She smiled for a moment but Connor could sense the sadness behind it. Luna turned her gaze back towards the city and leaned her arms on the stone rail.
“We have been blessed with privileges, powers and responsibilities, and because of that everyone assumes I am too good to ever be anything more than just their ruler.” She gripped the railing and Connor swore he could hear the stone groaning from her grip. “It has become impossible for me to form any kind of personal relationship with others.” Connor watched as she turned to face him once more. “That was until I met you.”
Her features softened and a genuine smile graced her lips. “When we first met you didn’t see me a Princess of Equestria. You treated me just like anyone else.” The mare took a step closer so she was eye level with him. “You made fun of me, pulled pranks on me and even went as far as to berate me, anyone else would have cowered at the mere thought of it.”
Connor felt his face turning red at the proximity of her body and his. She turned and looked back at the party.“Thanks to you, I will have fond memories of friends that will last me hundreds of years.” She turned back at him with those misty blue eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re the type of person I’d want to be here with. Someone who just saw me for me.”
There was a question between them now. One that could change everything they had built between them. Connor gulped and felt his hand reaching up to put a strand of her midnight blue hair behind her ear.
“I-“
“Connor we have an emergency!” The two quickly stepped away from one another and both turned towards the doorway to see a startled Caramel. “Am I interrupting something?” Luna made a sidelong glance at Connor who was glaring at the stallion like he was ready to commit a warcrime.
“Not at all, I was just leaving.” Luna walked past the stallion and back into the crowd as Caramel approached Connor.
“We have a problem.” The stallion lead him back inside and off towards a table where the other stallions were gathered around a flustered Comet. Connor had seen this happen to Comet only once before, when he was first debating asking Twilight out years ago. The stallion was muttering to himself and starting to rock back and forth.
“Great, he’s going catatonic.” Pierce said as he tried giving the panicking stallion a shoulder rub. Connor rubbed his temples as he thought of something anything to do to snap him out of this. An idea slowly formed in his mind. It wasn’t a good one, but it might just work.
“Okay, you all try to keep him calm I’ll be right back.”
“Where are ya going?” Mac called out.
“To find some trouble.” Connor made his way through the crowd as best he could looking for any sign of mischief or tomfoolery. His eyes just managed to make out some invisible force gently nudging a punch bowl closer to the edge of the table. A passing stallion leaned on it causing the bowl to fall and shatter splashing punch on a mare’s hooves. The commotion spread quickly and Connor made his way to the nearby hallway.
The hall was dark and near silent but could still make out the sounds of laughter. “Discord, get out here.” The nearby bust statue hopped and Discord the god of chaos appeared before him wearing a brown suit. He crossed his arms as he looked at Connor.
“Oh great, the party pooper has arrived rain on my parade.” Connor rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I’m not here to ruin your fun. I’m here because I need your help.” Discord raised a single white brow at the request. “How would you like to make a scene so chaotic it will be talked about for decades to come and cause me so much shame I might never leave my house again?” Discord sidled up to Connor and put an arm around his shoulders and brought him closer like two thieves planning the heist of a lifetime.
“My boy, you had my curiosity, you now have my attention.” He snapped his fingers to summon a pen and pad out of thin air. “Now, give me the details.”
~~~
Damn that stallion and his inopportune timing. Luna grumbled to herself as she made her way through the crowd. The attendees parted the way for her like schools of fish avoiding a shark. Luna’s ear twitched as she could hear the sound of giggles and laughter behind her. She ignored it and continued to muddle over her thoughts.
The giggles slowly turned into some laughter and it wasn’t until she heard the boisterous laugh to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie did she turn to investigate the source. She whirled and felt her mind go blank as she beheld something she didn’t expect to see in her wildest imagination. Standing before her was the human she had been speaking with not ten minutes before, but this time in a dress very identical to her own.
“Sir Rowe?” She stated almost robotic like. Connor crossed his arms over his chest and groaned.
“Well I hope you’re happy Princess. I made a bet and I stick to it.” In the back of her mind, Luna fairly remembered the human making such a wager weeks ago. She didn’t think he’d actually go through with the bet, but she wasn’t complaining. Her mind started to recover from the shock of what she was seeing and could stop herself from laughing. A loud rich laugh that sounded like pure music to the human’s ears.
“Where did you even get that dress?” She wiped a tear away from her eye as her other hand went across her stomach that started to ache.
“Lets just say Discord has his uses.” He said holding his hand out to her. “Would her royal highness care for a dance?” Luna manage to contain her laughter and nodded before taking his hand. “However it’s embarrassing since we’re wearing the same outfit, so one of us will have to change.”
With another laugh Luna waved her hand and Connor was back in his suit. “I was talking about you, but this works.” He shot Pinky a look who nodded and the mare jetted over to the band and started playing something a bit more festive. Connor set his hand on Luna’s hip and started to waltz with her. Luna leaned her head in to whisper.
“Where did you learn how to dance?”
“My sister needed a dance partner who wouldn’t try to grab her ass.” The crowd only stood and watched the two dance to the music over the marble floor. Over her shoulder Connor looked towards the group of stallions and fixed Comet with a glare that could rival an irate Luna. The type of glare that said; ‘Go now or I’ll kill you.’ He got the message and managed to see Comet stating and pulling Twilight aside.
The two continued to dance through the music and started to see other couples beginning to join in. The sound came to crescendo and the dancing ceased. The hall was filled with the sound of applause and gossip. Connor pulled himself from Luna and bowed respectfully. “It was an honor to dance with you your highness.” Luna returned the bow with a curtsy.
“You are quite skilled yourself Sir Rowe.” The two turned and made their way back into opposite ends of the crowd. The crowd parted for both of them and Connor returned to the group. Soarin and Dash were still laughing.
“I know I said it would be a riot if you guys came, but I wasn’t expecting a show like that.” Connor only let out a sigh and rubbed his face.
“Yes dear you should have informed us.” Rarity said with a giggle. “I could have done your hair, pair it with some tasteful eyeshadow.” AJ went and patted Connor on the back sympathetically.
“You guys are never going to let me live this down are you?” Connor groaned out.
“Nope.” Mac said as he handed Conner a much needed and deserved drink. The mood slowly shifted back to normal and though the new jabbing and mockery Connor hoped things were going well. He got his answer as an ear splitting “YES!” Shot through the party like a cannon going off. Apparently Twilight had unknowingly tapped into the royal Canterlot Voice in her excitement. All heads turned towards the balcony where Twilight was kissing and ugly crying with a ring on her finger.
The mares all crowded around the giddy Princess as Comet went over to the guys who all nodded at him.
“Finally.” Thunderlane said as he patted the unicorn on his back. Connor and the rest raised their respective drinks to the stallion before chugging back what they had. Comet turned to Connor.
“I owe you big time for that.”
“Yeah, you do.” Connor chuckled. Word soon spread through the gala and it wasn’t long before Princess Celestia made her way over to congratulate her former apprentice. There was a sudden flash of pink light that filled the room. Connor had to blink several times for his vision to turn back to normal. When it did he saw Princess Cadence and a bewildered Shinning Armor by her side.
“Something is happening here.” The crystal Princess scanned the room and her eyes fell on Twilight. Cadence immediately shifted into giddy mode and joined the others in fawning over the ring. Shining looked from Twilight to Comet several times before joining his wife in congratulating his sister. Comet went over to join the group while the stallions all clinked glasses.
“Mission accomplised.” Pierce said with a smile. There was more conversation and talk of different wedding plans. There was a moment one rarity was pulled away for a moment by a servant and headed out into the hallway for several minutes before returning. Spitfire had made her way over to Connor and sat down beside him.
“Well you certainly know how to move.” She said before stretching her arms over her head.
“I do my best.” She scooted her chair closer to him and smirked.
“I think I’d like to see some other moves you have in private.” Connor could feel the smolder coming from Spitfire’s heated gaze and gulped.
“Spitfire, I need to be honest. As tempting as that offer is I don’t think I’d be able to handle you.” The Wonderbolt pursed her lips and nodded.
“Yeah, you probably couldn’t.” She said with a somewhat disappointed but understanding smile. “Oh well, maybe I’ll see what Soarin and Dash are doing later.” Connor raised his glass to his date.
“Good luck, you’ll need the stamina.” Spitfire turned and smirked at ht human.
“I’m the Captain for a reason Conner.” She turned on her hoof and sauntered off into the crowd. Connor sat back and enjoyed his drink and light conversation with the stallions. Rarity trotted over and tapped him on the shoulder before letting him know there was a mare who wanted to talk with him. He was about to protest until he saw a familiar light blue unicorn mare wearing a stunning blue dress. The dress Azure was wearing was strapless, had had a slightly less revealing plunge in the front than Spitfire’s, but only slightly along with a slit that ran up to the mare’s mid thigh.
“I heard you might be here.” Azure teased as she brushed a strand of curled hair out of her face. Her enchanted silver bracelet catching the light. Connor stood up and brushed himself off.
“You heard right.” Rarity quickly made herself scarce but shot Connor a wink as she walked towards Thunderlane. Luna smiled and sauntered up to the human with a sway in her hips that was only accentuated by the tight dress.
“So, where is Princess Luna?” She asked in a too innocent tone.
“Don’t know, maybe she called it a night after her dance.” Her eyes sparkled in the light and feigned surprise.
“How bold. Tell me, how good of a dancer is she?”
“She needs some hoof work. Nearly stepped on my toes a few times.” Azure narrowed her eyes slightly as he chuckled.
“Think you have one more dance in you?” She held her hand out for him to take. As he did she lead him out onto the dance floor. The music had shifted from a traditional waltz to something more energetic. The two moved together like thy were joined at the hips and there was barely enough room between them to draw their own breath.
Connor kept her hand in his and his other moving to her lower back and waist as they moved. Azure pressed herself into his front and moved her fingers across his back and neck for purchase. With their proximity, Connor could feel his and Princess’s heart matching beat for beat. Their song came to and end and Connor ended with a dip so low the princess’s scalp nearly touched the floor.
Connor had slid his hand up Azure’s leg all the way to the seam in the dress’s split and she had wrapped her leg around his was it as he pulled her up. Their display had left a few of the mare’s fanning themselves and several stallions felt hot under the collar. To be fair Connor was feeling the same way and not just from the dancing. “I think we need a break.” Connor nodded in agreement and walked off the dance floor, his hand still around her waist as they made its through the crowd.
“You certainly don’t disappoint Sir knight.”
“You certainly know your way around the dance floor as well.” Another silence surrounded the two as the party goers went on. Connor’s heart was thundering from the dance and more importantly who he had danced with. He could still feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins as he looked at Azure.
“About what we were talking about earlier before we got interrupted.” Azure looked over to him and Connor could see the eagerness and anxiety in her eyes. “I was going to say; I’d like to be that guy.” Luna blinked a few times before feeling her face flush with color. Connor could feel his own face flushing bright red as the words came out.
“Maybe I should get us a drink before one of us says something stupid and we can’t blame it on alcohol.” Luna nodded and did her beast to calm her nerves while Connor went across the room to the refreshment table. He had just finished pouring the glasses when rarity appeared with a smug grin across her lips.
“That was quite a display Connor. You continue to impress.” Connor chuckled to himself as he looked at the pale mare. She leaned against the table and sighed as she looked out at the crowd. “I can safely say this night has been so much better than-“ Connor saw Rarity’s expression shatter from satisfaction to one of disgust. He followed her icy sapphire glare towards the entrance to the hall and saw the source.
A pale white unicorn stallion with a well groomed blonde mane who was wearing a pristine white suit made his way into the hall. While having never met him Connor immediately recognized the newcomer as Prince Blueblood. “Why is he here now?” Conner assumed it was because everyone had seen Luna leave.
“Just ignore him Rarity. No need to worry about him.” Connor got the drinks in either hand and turned just in time to see the cocky Prince approach Azure. Even this far away he could see the annoyance on the mare’s face. He quickly excused himself as he made his way through the crowd carful not to spill the drinks.
As he reached the edge of the crowd he could make out the sound of Azure telling the Prince to get lost and Blueblood beginning to throw a fit. Connor stopped a few feet away from the two. “Is there a problem here?” Blueblood turned and sneered at Connor.
“No business of yours ape.” Connor could see Luna’s rage starting to boil and gave her a look to not cause a commotion. Azure pushed herself off the pillar to go stand beside Connor, but the Prince put a hand on her wrist. “We were just getting to know one another.” Luna ripped her arm free of his grip.
“I told you to leave me alone.” She hissed out and stood beside Connor.
“You heard the lady, get lost.” As Connor started to lift the drink to his lips and invisible force of magic pushed the glass and spilled the drink on Connor’s face. Azure gasped and was grinding her teeth at the stallion. “Azure,” Connor muttered to the mare.
“How dare you be so disrespectful to a knight of Equestria.” Blueblood rolled his eyes. By this point a group of ponies were taking notice of the altercation and had turned to watch.
“An overgrown monkey as a knight? By the stars this kingdom is going to the dogs.” Luna’s ears were burning in rage as the Prince started to laugh. Connor had wiped his face clean with a nearby napkin.
“He is twice the stallion have ever been or will ever be. No wonder your aunts keep you occupied with all the grunt work, because you are so insignificant to handle any of the real work needed to run this kingdom.” There were several murmurs and a few chuckles through the crowd.
“Who are you to talk to me like that you smug cunt?” As Luna was turning the Prince lashed out and slapped the mare across the face. Luna did not cry out or stagger back. She only looked stunned as the realization of what had just happened. She slowly turned her face back towards the Prince. Connor started to see a few cracks in Azure’s disguise starting to appear on her form and knew the bracelet couldn’t contain this level of rage induced magic. She might even level the castle if she erupted and while that would be a sight to see, he figured it would be better if the palace remained standing, for now.
Connor reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. Luna’s head jerked back to him and to his credit didn’t shiver at the death glare she had. Wordlessly he handed over the unspilt to the mare who took it without realizing it. He side stepped the Princess so he was between her and the Prince. He stared the Prince down for a moment and sucked on his tooth before letting out a sigh
“There’s an old saying among my people Prince.” He stated calmly as he made a show of of inspecting his own hands. “‘Manners maketh man.’ I think it’s time you learned that lesson.” He finished saying right right before slammed his fist up into into the Prince’s face.
If there was one thing Connor learned from his sister it was how to properly throw a punch and where to throw it. The force of the blow caused the Prince to spin twice before dropping to the marble floor, unmoving. Connor shook his hand as he let out a breath. “That’s no way to treat a lady.” He took the drink back from Luna who was just staring at the unconscious Prince and pressed the cool glass against his hand.
No one in the room made a noise for a long moment. The entire Gala had been stunned into silence right when the Prince hit the floor. The silence was broken as the sound of someone making their way to the scene. Connor felt someone tap him on the shoulder and turned to see Shining Armor looking sheepish.
“Um Sir Rowe, you just assaulted a member of the royal family.” Connor looked back at the Prince’s prone form and noticed his horse shoes had come off from the force of the punch. “I’m sorry to have to do this, but I need to place you under arrest.” That had snapped Luna out of her stunned stupor and started to protest but Conner held up a hand.
“Fair enough,” Connor groaned before downing the last of the drink. “just one last thing.” He gripped Azure by the arm and pulled her into a dip before pressing his lips to hers. Several attendees started making ‘whooping’ noises, Dash, Pinkie and the stallions included. Luna’s mind was exploding with overstimulation and felt herself melting into the man’s arms and lips.
Conner set the mare back upright and made sure she was okay to stand. “We’ll talk later yeah?” Azure nodded dumbly as Shinning summoned a pair of handcuffs and clipped them on the human and reluctantly brought him out of the hall. As they left he could have sword he heard Soarin yelling, “Best. Gala. Ever!”
Shining escorted Connor through the castle and into a section that reminded him of a holding cell. The stallion un-cuffed him and gently prodded him into the cell before closing the gate.“Don’t worry, this will all be over soon and you’ll be out by morning. I just need to know one thing,” The Stallion leaned in conspiratorially. “I’ve had to deal with Blueblood for over a decade, how did it feel to punch that smug son of a bitch right in his face?”
Connor pondered the question for a moment. “His face was very soft, but to the Prince’s credit that jawline was no joke.” Shinning nodded like it was confirming a suspicion.
“Makes sense. Also, did you know about Comet’s proposal plan?” Connor nodded.
“He tried a few times before, but he bungled the attempts.” Shinning pursed his lips and nodded before leaving. Connor looked at the cell and did his best to make himself comfortable in the corner of the stone cell. All things considering, the night had been a good one.
Chapter 12: A New Strategy is Required
Chapter 12
A New Strategy is Required
It was around dinner time as Luna and Connor made their way towards Twilight’s crystal home. The two made their way inside and were greeted by Pinkie. “Hey! You came.”
“That’s what she said!” Soarin yelled before being slapped by Dash. “Ow!” Connor chuckled as he followed Pinkie into the room with all the chairs and the conference room. The
“Okay whelps, lets get this game started.” Dash smiled. AJ then stood up and cleared her throat.
“Since we have a newcomer tonight, why don’t we let Azure pick the first game?” The farmer smiled.
“I’m cool with that.” Pierce said. Luna tapped her chin and thought for a moment.
“Thunderlane mentioned a game that seemed interesting. It’s called, ‘Equestria Domination.’” Connor grew a sly smirk.
“Okay, we’ll fight in pairs of two.” Connor said. Each couple paired themselves with one another leaving Luna to pair with Connor. “You know how to play?”
“No.” The man handed her the instructions while he helped set up the game board. There were two sets of dice, one for movement and one for attack power. The map was large and seemed to include all the major continents of the planet. “Okay, so the objective is to conquer the world?”
“Correct. You need to build your forced by building up your armies, which you can get from cards or capturing enemy troops. You can then outfit your troops with power cards and get your enemies’ resources.” He smirked.
“You seem to know a lot about this.”
“Azure, if I had a cutie mark, it’s be a King piece with a crown on top.” The man chuckled. “Okay, now we have to select our army.” He said looking at the table. He tapped the center of the map and magic filled the room as the map became a 3-D representation and the troops were all ready for battle.
There were six colors; Red, Blue, Orange, Black, Pink and White. Connor and Luna chose the blue team. Dash chose red, AJ chose orange, Pinkie chose pink, Rarity chose white and Fluttershy chose black. “Just so you know, you guys are fucked. I’ve had time.” Connor smirked.
“Connor, you can be one creepy mother bucker.” Mac said with a laugh. The game started and Luna opened up a telepathic channel between herself and the human. Luna had to adjust as she felt his brain thinking of dozens of strategies to win. The teams first drew five cards. Dash rolled the highest number and went first.
“Fluttershy, prepare your troops for battle!”
“C-can’t we make peace?” The mare said hiding behind her wings.
“Take no prisoners!” Soarin yelled. Fluttershy didn’t last long and was the first to be defeated. Her forces being relinquished to Dash’s army. Connor and Luna decided to play it safe and stay in the background as the others duked it out. AJ and Caramel went down next The farmers were not good at poker faces. “Connor, Azure prepare for a beatdown!” Soarin yelled.
“Bring it!” The human smirked.
“We shall be victorious!” The blue mare yelled. Soarin looked at Dash who nodded.
“I deploy, the Admiral’s fleet!” Connor and Luna gasped.
“We can fly right over your spell AA forces and attack your kingdom directly.” Dash smirked.
“You fiends!” Luna yelled.
“But I’m not done. I activate the card, Miracle Mend! My cool down time is reduced to one turn!” Connor started laughing at the mare’s words.
“Not bad Dashie but,” He held up a card. “you activated my trap card, Wyvern Swarm!”
“WHAT!?” The two pegasi yelled.
“I roll a seven or higher then the wyverns will rip your fleet to pieces.”
“But, if you roll a six or lower, the Wyverns will turn on your own forces!” Soarin said standing up.
“That’s just a risk I’ll have to take.” Connor took one die and Luna took the other. Luna rolled her die and it landed on a three. The human sighed and brought his hand back. “Kaaaaa-meeee-haaaaa-meeeee-HA!” He yelled as he tossed the die. Time slowed as the game piece stopped rolling and landed on a five. “YES!”
“No! My forces!” Dash said as several holographic Wyverns came out of a nearby mountain and tore her fleet apart. “Vengeance I say!”
“Nope.” Luna smirked. “It is our turn now. We play, Emergency recruitment! Now we can take your destroyed air fleet and add it to our own!” The Princess rolled the dice and it put her right near Dash’s home base. “Attack!” The fleet and army burned Dash’s base to the ground.
Y es, fear as our soldiers burn your homes, salt your lands and take your children from your arms!
Luna, you’re creeping me out. Connor said as the pegasi watched their home base become rubble and ash.
“NO!!!!” The two yelled in a defeated tone. Luna and Connor high five’d. Rarity and Thunderlane were the next to fall, this time by Pinky and Pierce. The jeweler and pastry chef proved to be formidable opponents. The two teams were having the standoff of the century, every attack one played the other countered. This process went on for twenty minutes. Each team only had a squad left and barely any cards.
“Pierce, this game has tested our skills as strategists, but all good things must come to an end.”
“Bold words from a man with only one card left.” The stallion panted. Connor smiled and flipped up the card. “Oh crap.”
“Luna’s Redemption. This card allows me to bring back all the forces I lost for one turn.” As the card activated, the fallen soldiers rose from their graves and took down the last opponent. The human and Princess had won.
“Huzza!” Luna yelled.
“Good game.” Pierce smiled. The two sat back and sighed.
“Can we play a fun game now?” Dash asked.
“Sure, what?” The cyan flyer smirked.
“Never have I ever.”
“Oh dear.” Rarity sighed. Luna looked at the group in confusion as Dash brought out a bottle of liquor and several shot glasses. She tugged on her ear and looked at Conor.
What is the nature of this game?
We go around saying things that we’ve never done, but if you have done it then you take a shot.
Why?
Because it’s fun. Don’t be so grumpy. Luna frowned at the man. The group got in a closer circle and AJ poured them each a glass.
“Okay, I’ll start.” Pierce said. “Never have I ever tried hitting on a single mother.” Soarin and Thunderlane took a shot. Dash and Rarity frowned.
“Hey I didn’t know she had a kid.” Thunder said.
“Same.” Soarin said.
“Never have I ever changed a wagon wheel.” Rarity said. All the males, Dash and AJ took a shot.
“Never have I ever slept in the nude alone.” Soarin said. All the mares in the room took a shot.
“I-It’s comfy.” Fluttershy said with blushing cheeks. The others all nodded.
“Never have I ever ran through Canterlot Castle naked.” Azure growled at the human and took a shot. All eyes were on the mare. Some in amazement, most in confusion.
“I spent the night at the castle once. Luna and I started drinking and....I don’t want to get into it.” All the males felt a wave of disappointment. “Never have I ever had a threesome.” Connor, Thunder, Soarin and Dash all took a shot. It was no surprise Soarin or Thunderlane had an experience like that, but all eyes went on the human.
“What? I had a good sex life before I came here.” He said with a small belch.
“Details now.” Soarin said.
“Fine. So it was with my first girlfriend Rachel. We had been dating for about two years.”
“How did you two meet?” Rarity asked.
“We’ve been friends since pre-school. Then in our sophomore year of high school we started dating and we continued to until about senior year.” Connor shrugged.
“Enough backstory!” Soarin said.
“Hey, it’s my story!” The man narrowed his eyes. “Anyway, it was around the end of senior year and the romance was....lacking in the bedroom.”
“Performance issues? Relax it happens to everyone.” Soarin said. “Well not me, but you? Yeah I can see-” He was cut off as Pinkie shot him with her party cannon. Seriously where does she keep that thing?
“Thank you Pinkie.” Pinkie gave him a salute before siting back down. “Anyway so we tried a few things to spice things up.”
“What kind of things?” Fluttershy asked with a blush.
“Roleplaying, bondage, different positions. Things like that.” Luna was blushing brightly at the words. “Anyway, she thought it would be more exciting if we introduced a third player.”
“Wait was this an angel’s three way or devil’s?” Thunder asked.
“What?” Rarity asked.
“Angel’s three way is with one guy and two girls and a devil’s three way is with two dudes one girl.” Connor clarified. “It was an Angel’s three way.”
“Hell yeah!” Soarin and Thunder held their hands up to high-five.
“Freeze frame high-five.” The three froze in place as they connected palms.
“Idiots. All of you.” Pierce face palmed. The three sat back down and Connor continued his story.
“So we decided have a threesome with a fiend of ours, Shana. Nice girl, really hot.” He reached into his phone and pulled out a picture of the three. On his right was a girl a little shorter than him with dyed black hair with red highlights, on his left was a girl with a darker skin tone with straight brown hair.
“Damn!” Soarin said as Dash gave him a dead leg.
“In the end we broke up.” He said putting his phone away.
“Sorry to hear that.” Luna said rolling her eyes.
“It was mutual. Turns out Rachel wanted to swap to the other team.” He said taking a drink. “I was actually the first person she came out to.”
“So you turned a girl gay?” Thunder asked earning him a dark look from the man.
“Can we please get on with the game?” Connor face palmed
“Okay,” Pinkie said thinking. “Never have I ever gone to jail.”
“Visiting or behind bars?” Mac asked.
“Behind bars.” Connor gulped as Soarin, Thunder and Caramel took a sip.
“That was one awesome night.” Caramel said as AJ gripped his leg in a vice like grip.
“Ya got drunk and went on a drunken rampage.” The farmer deadpanned. Her emerald eyes also narrowed on the human. Luna bit her lip and chuckled.
“Mind if I choose the next game?” Dash asked.
“Sure.” Pinkie chimed.
“How about truth or dare?” Dash smirked. “But with a twist!”
“Oh no.” The orange apple farmer said with a sigh.
“What twist?” Luna asked with a raised eyebrow. Dash smirked and chuckled to herself while those who knew the cyan mare cringed as they thought of the horrors her perverted mind could think of.
“You have the option to reject a truth or dare, but you have to remove an article of clothing as compensation and the same thing happens if you fail.” She cackled.
“Uh-oh, sounds like Dashie went into heat early this year.” Thunderlane complained.
“Why don’t you suck a dick?” Dash spat out.
“Why don’t you suck two?”
“No, you, but five dicks!” The mare yelled slamming her hand on the table.
“You’re sucking eight dicks from every direction like an omnidirectional dick suck fest!”
“Okay we get it. Can you two please stop trying to one up each other on the dick sucking quota?” Connor groaned. “I think we can agree, as adults, that we’ve all sucked a lot of dicks, and we love it.” Everyone sitting at the table gave a nod at the man’s words.
Please, we invented dick sucking. Connor gave Luna a look of surprise.
Right I forgot. You’re old. Luna frowned and used her tail as a whip. The bat his lip as his right ass cheek met the fury of her tail.
Tis not polite to make fun of a mare’s age. Connor stuck his tongue out at the mare before turning his attention back to the game
“I’ll go first!” Pinkie said raising her hand.
“Good a volunteer.” Rainbow smiled. “Okay Pinks, truth or dare?”
“Hmmm...Dare me.”
“I dare you to explain your Pinkie sense.” Pinkie’s face went straight and removed the hair tie she had her curly locks in. “Darn.”
“Sorry Dashie, but somethings just can’t be explained.” The pink mare smiled while Dash pouted. “My turn! Azure, truth or dare?”
“Dare.” The blue mare said. Pinkie smirked and the other four mares gave her the slightest of nods.
“I dare you to sit on Connor’s lap for the rest of the evening.” Luna and the human both blushed and looked at one another. “Scared?” Luna huffed and stood up. She plopped herself in the man’s lap making him gasp.
Man she’s heavy! Luna then slammed her fist into his leg. “Ugh!” He grunted stifling his pain as Luna growled. She turned and did her best to cover her blush. The human did the same, but it did little good.
The game continued and the dares got more raunchy, and the truth’s more revealing. By this time everyone had an article of clothing taken away from them. Connor was shirtless making the blue mare blush brighter than before as she squirmed on his lap.
“Soarin, truth or dare?” Applejack asked.
“I’ll go with dare.” He smiled.
“Ah dare ya to tell us what in the hay happened on that camping trip all you guys took.” The stallion’s face grew stern and all the males eyed him. The Wonderbolt gulped and instead removed his pants so he was now in nothing but his boxers.
“Oh come on! What happened that you guys are so touchy about?” Dash whined.
“Nothing.” Connor said in a deadpanned tone. He and all the stallions knew. What happened in the cave, stays in the cave.
“I’m a bit lost.” Luna said.
“Okay, when Twi got her hands on that fancy journal that turned her into a Princess, this lot,” AJ gestured to the males. “went camping.”
“So?”
“They came back two days later soaking wet, all their gear was gone and they had a look of dread on their faces.” Dash said. “When we asked all they said was ‘never again.’” Luna looked at the human in suspicion.
“Can we please move on with the game?” Caramel whined. Soarin scratched his chin and smirked.
“Connor, truth or dare?” The stallion asked.
“Dare.” The man silently regretted that decision.
“I dare you to give Azure a horn job.” The man’s cheeks burned red along with the mare sitting on his lap. “Either that or you have to remove and article of clothing.” Connor mentally cursed the stallion, he was only wearing his pants and boxers. He bit his lip and sighed.
“Sorry Azure.” He said gently wrapping his hand around the mare’s horn. Luna winced at the man’s familiar touch and arched her back as he started to rub the bone. The mare bit her lip and her tail wrapped around his midsection and her butt wiggled in his lap. The man slowly started to feel aroused.
“Ngh!” Luna said as she closed her eyes and felt he magic peaking. The mare could feel herself getting hot between her legs and her tail started wiggling and brought the man closer to her back. Connor gulped and blushed harder as he felt his erect member reach full mast. Luna felt the stiffness and her body only grew more excited. Her eyes shrank as she moaned and let loose a bolt of magic.
“Ricochet!” Caramel yelled as the group took cover under the table. The charged bolt of magic bounce off the crystal floor, walls and ceiling. Ricochets are bolts of uncontrolled magic that bounce around and effect random objects. A ricochet from a normal unicorn are dangerous enough, but one from an Alicorn? That’s too much danger. The bolt continued to bounce from surface to surface until it shot out a window and shot towards the human’s home.
The blast hit the garage, but no damage was visible. Soon the ponies poked their heads out from the table and stood up.
“Whoa, close call. Right guys?” Soarin said as he stood up. The mares and stallions had scared looks o their faces and the pegasus felt a feeling of dread come over him. Like a rusty door hinge he turned to see that Azure’s hair was a large pillar of blue flames and her eyes were white with magic.
“Wretch!” She hissed. Connor gulped and knew her illusion spell wouldn’t hold under this kind of magical pressure.
“Now hold on Azure. Surely we can settle this like adults.” He gulped stepping between the two. “There’s no need to act so hasty.”
“Weren’t you the one who got her off?” The blue stallion said. Connor gave Soarin a deadpanned look.
“I retract my argument, go nuts. Just don’t kill him.”
“Oh we shall do far worse than that!” Luna’s horn glowed and blue bolt of lightning struck the stallion. The group shielded their eyes as they heard the stallion’s voice go up several octaves. The group opened their eyes to see that Soarin had a smaller physique, bigger hips and had a pair of breasts along with longer hair.
“What was-” Soarin instantly clamped a hand over his mouth at the sound of his new feminine voice. Dash instantly burst out into laughter and was soon followed by the rest of the group. “What did you do!?” He yelled.
“I gave you a taste of your own medicine.” Luna said with an evil grin. Dash then walked over to the blue pegasus mare.
“Oh we are SO doing it tonight.” Luna stormed out of the room and huffed.
“You reap what you sow Soarin.” Connor said getting his shirt and shoes back on before going after Azure. The man ran towards his home and caught up to the mare. “Hey.” The man said with a blush.
“Evening.” Luna sighed.
“Look, I’m really, REALLY sorry about that.” The man sighed. “It was either that, or I take my pants off and....you were on my lap so.....sorry.”
“N-no need to explain.” She said blushing brightly. The two kept silent as they walked into the house and laid down to rest. Luna laid awake in her bed and felt her face flushing red.
Why are we so hot?
Because you loved his hands on you.
Shut up! Why am I so effected by him? Her eyes shrank as she sat up and pulled out her phone. “Oh no.” She looked at the date, it was marked in red. “I’m going into heat.”
Author's Note
SO Sorry for the delay.
