Chapters A DERPY TALE
Book 1: The Heroes of Derplandia
Carla Sobrado
It was a quiet morning in Derplandia. The birds were derping and the cows were derping too. The sky was too yellow that it blinded you and would make you cross-eyed. The sun had finally gone, and the morning had come, with the moon. The cheesy moon shone for the day and it had a piece bitten out of it as if someone had eaten it. Actually, somebody had. Dipius Derpnelius Derp of Derplandia, a former king of Derplandia, had taken a bite out of it.
Derplandia was special because it was a magical realm. It had crixies, and drolls and dobolins. They were kind of like pixies, trolls and goblins except they were different. Crixies were so cross-eyed that their magic was evil, dark and black. Drolls were just way dumber than trolls, and they always hit each other in the face or head with sticks. Dobolins were much sneakier than goblins and they had icy magic which could freeze anything. They were also one of the derpiest creatures in the land.
Other things lived in Derplandia too, mostly pegasi. There were many flocks of pegasi around everywhere and it took a great deal of derpiness to swat them away. Derpy pegasi were dangerous too. They tend to lick and spit on your face and they slap you with their feathered wings. They all look the same, except for a little few, but they are all just as derpy. Derpy pegasi are all a coat of light gray, and their mane and tail are bright yellow. Their eyes shine at night, a yellowish color, and they have bubbles on their rear ends. They are also, in fact, cross-eyed.
Humans live in Derplandia too. There are few of them, but they still reside there. Since Derplandia is magical, people there usually obtain powers of some sort, but they can only be activated in a time of utter distress, or derpiness. The humans in Derplandia are often referred to as Dinkys though. Dinkys don’t usually stay long in Derplandia, they move on to another realm, but there are a few that do stay. Dinkys in Derplandia mostly mean trouble, so they stay locked up. There is a village just for Dinkys, but it’s very poor and old. Dinkys don’t have good lives in Derplandia.
The main creature in Derplandia (like in the human world, its humans) is the Thing. Things are things. They are very weird things. They can only say,
“Thing!”
and growl. Things are vicious and ferocious. They like running away from wherever they are and they can’t stay still. Their hair is often crazy, and when they eat, it looks like snakes. The only way to keep a Thing in its place is to put it in a hula-hoop, which are super rare in Derplandia.
Well, this is a tale of something epic that happened in Derplandia. It took five heroes to save Derplandia, but they managed it. Anyway, this is the story of how Derplandia came to be.
Derplandia used to be run by Question Marks, which were always hitting people and dragging them to awkward places. The Question Mark king, King Quote, was not helping at all with this mater, and Derplandia was going down. The Question Marks were hitting everything very hard, like abuse and some people died. The Question Marks started dragging them towards the dungeon in the Question Mark palace, where no one could escape except if aloud to. The pegasi were never coming out, which meant something underpy had to be going on. Things were still in Derplandia back then, but they didn’t know they were going to be the rulers. Things were kept in cages because they were mysterious and no one understood them. They were sometimes used as jesters for King Quote and if he wasn’t pleased, the poor Thing would be sentenced to death. All the Things were getting wilder and wilder because of all their family and friends dying. Some Things were so wild that King Quote let them leave, but the truth is, Things can’t live all alone. They need to be together and take care of each other.
Anyway, the land was in a terrible shape. Many forests were burned down and water was scarce. The waterfalls and oceans were lava and the ground was all rocks. Food was scarce as well. Barely any Dingmellows (they were kind of like marshmallows except way fluffier) grew off trees and if they did, they grew rotten. All the creatures in the land were dying and getting sick. You see, Question Marks were also poisonous if you took a layer of them. Question Marks have many layers of something like skin, but the first one is very poisonous. Some people, in their attempts to get away from one, have scratched it or ripped off even the slightest bit of their layer, and poison gas comes out. Whoever made the rip can never escape it and there is no known cure.
Now watch out. What happens when a Dinky falls out of the sun?
Far off, in one of the deepest corners of Derplandia, was a flock of pegasi, trying to jump on one another. They were licking the ground and scanning for food, with no such luck. The pegasi were drifting off to sleep, their eyes crossing even more, and tucked in their wings. They finished their last bits of squash, some food they got if they licked the dirt hard enough, and made the pile. Pegasi in Derplandia make a big pile before they fall asleep, and they fall asleep one on top of the other. One Pegasus, named Derpy, was having some trouble falling asleep. Derpy was never comfortable and didn’t like the sleep pile. Derpy pegasi also don’t speak English, they speak Diption. Diption is a loud series of squeals, eye signs and ear signals that let the pegasi speak with one another. Pegasi also have telepathy, so they can speak into each other’s minds, but it wasn’t very easy.
Derpy was trying to fall asleep, but her eyes were not heavy. She wanted to explore, not stay cooped up with the flock. She needed space and fun, not a squished pile and boring games. Derpy wanted to laugh and sing and have fun with her telepathy power, but the rest of the derpy pegasi made it seem like a bad thing. Derpy didn’t understand how that was something bad. Derpy looked just like her mother, father, cousin, friends, and strangers. She had a light gray coat and a yellow mane with bright yellow eyes. She had bubbles on her behind and her eyes were very cross-eyed. She hated being exactly the same, even if being derpy was quite fun. She wanted extreme derpiness, like jumping off cliffs, dropping pianos on people, making a truck fly. Most of all, Derpy wanted to learn The Face. Every other Pegasus could do the face, a very complicated face move that made them look really derpy, but Derpy couldn’t do it. She wanted… a change. Derpy looked at the sky. It was turning its usual shade of pink for the night, and the sun had come up. Derpy wondered about what would happen if she left the flock. She stared at the sun, and thought, Please, anybody out there who cares, I want to be free. I don’t want to be here with everyone else. I want… extremeness. Just then, Derpy saw a strange figure in the sun. Derpy quickly stood up, surprised that her cross-eyed complexion spotted the creature. Then, it started to fall. Derpy could hear it flailing around and yelling,
“Help!”
Derpy zigzagged up to the creature, and it was about to fall on her back when Derpy realized she had missed. Then she tried again, but the creature had faced flopped onto the hard ground. It stood up and smiled as if it were something it did every day.
The creature’s hair was yellow, and her eyes were perfectly normal.
“Umm… Are you a pony? How are you flying?”
Asked the creature. Derpy nearly lost it. When the creature wiped its hair out of its face, she realized it was a Dinky.
“Umm… Hi?”
it said. Derpy spoke in telepathy, Why are you here? How are you here? Dinkys don’t just fly out of the sun… Who are you? The creature gasped.
“How did you do that? You spoke to me in my head!”
Derpy nodded, and asked, Who are you? The Dinky shifted and said,
“My name? I don’t know… I kind of forgot where I came from… Wait, I think my name is Isabel."
Derpy scoffed and said through telepathy, What an awful name! Isabel shrugged.
“Then give me a new name I guess,”
she said. Isabel said,
“What is it?”
Derpy smiled her wide smile and said, Your name my friend, will be from now on, Durpy . Durpy smiled, and said,
“That’s a nice name, but where did you come up with it?”
Durpy and Derpy usually met in secret. If any of the pegasi knew about Durpy, they might try and deliver her to King Quote’s palace in exchange for outlawing their hunting. Derpy was willing to pay her life to save Durpy, and she thought it was a worthy cause. Durpy adjusted to Derplandia, though it was a tough challenge. Durpy had to learn the language of pegasi so she could communicate with Derpy if telepathy ever failed. Durpy wanted to find a way out of Derplandia, which actually made Derpy very sad, because that would mean leaving her behind. Derpy knew that one day Durpy would leave, maybe with her, or maybe without her. It was Durpy’s choice. For now, Derpy just wanted Durpy to feel welcome to Derplandia, but it was very hard. Durpy would say,
“Derpy, are you not tired of those Question Marks bothering and killing people?”
Durpy, I really am, but what power do I have over them? They would kill me as soon as I threw a measly rock at them!
Derpy would say. Durpy was really sad that there was no way to take back Derplandia, a way in which the Question Marks would leave for good.
“Derpy, why don’t you want me to meet your friends?”
asked Durpy one day.
Durpy, please… I’ve told you many times before; they just are not ready to see one of you.
Derpy would say.
“But Derpy, what if we could take back Derplandia and win? Your flock would be terrified to know that you have been working with me now, but imagine their horror when they find it out later!”
Derpy would shrug, and Durpy would just go crazy,
“Derpy! Look, I’m bored of the flock! Can’t we go somewhere else?”
Derpy turned stiff. That’s exactly what she had said the day she found Durpy.
Durpy, I want to leave too, but they will notice and tell… someone.
That’s what Derpy would tell her.
“Okay, I know… But someday, can we just leave for like, a day?”
Derpy thought about this and said,
Durpy, you are very, very young and I’m afraid a 8 year old girl won’t be okay out in the wilderness. I promise we will go somewhere, when you turn 12. That day, we will explore, and have a great day.
Durpy would say,
“That’s in a long time Derpy!”
Derpy would nod and finally, Durpy would say,
“Where would we go?”
I want to show you everything outside the flock. I have never been out myself, but I know where everything is because of Gandalf’s books. We can visit the crixie camp, the Great Salt Lake, jade shores-
Durpy would always stop Derpy and say,
“Did you say Gandalf? Isn’t that a wizard from some movie in my world?”
Derpy would shrug, because honestly, she didn’t know. Derpy didn’t even know what a movie was.
Derpy’s flock grew more and more suspicious because she kept coming up with lame excuses to go and see Durpy. Of course, no one knew about Durpy then. The pegasi all looked at Derpy with their cross-eyed ways, and started slapping each other again whenever Derpy said,
“Guys, I think we ran out of Dingmellows, I’m going to find some more,”
also,
“Is that King Quote?! I’ll go check!”
and finally,
“I think I saw a stand selling popcorn over by the river, why don’t you guys go check it out?”
Derpy kept leaving and coming back hours later, and everyone always wondered why she’d taken so long.
“Oh, well… I saw a Dingmellow but a Thing took it and it was hard to chase!”
she would say.
“It wasn’t King Quote but it was a droll. I tried to ward it off.”
Would be her excuse and finally,
“Sorry, I guess the stand moved away.”
She was always so close to being discovered, and after hiding Durpy for nearly 4 years, it was getting tougher to hide her. Durpy kept popping out, nearly revealing herself to a Pegasus.
Durpy, you can’t keep showing yourself. I guess you’re proving you can’t leave the flock yet.
“No Derpy, I’m ready! I was just… umm…”
You were…?
“Derpy, you promised me when I was eight that when I turned twelve we would leave the flock. Even if I’m not ready, you promised me. I’m going to be twelve in a week and that means you have to keep your promise!”
Durpy! Just listen up; I don’t think it’s a good idea to go yet. You need to wait a while longer.
“But you promised me!”
Durpy said.
I know. Just, I can’t do it if you don’t show me I’m making a right choice on this. I’m not going to take you if you are not ready, even if it means breaking a promise!
“Fine, what should I do to make you see I’m ready?”
Derpy considered this for a long time. She didn’t want to put Durpy in danger, but she had a plan to make her see. If Durpy succeeded, she would be taken out for her birthday, but if she didn’t she would stay with the flock.
Derpy woke Durpy up from a nap.
Durpy, I’ve decided to take you on the adventures when it’s your birthday-
“Yes! Thanks so much Derpy! Thank you! OH YEAH!”
Durpy, I didn’t finish…
Then Durpy said,
“Oh… sorry about that,”
If you can pass this test, I will take you, if you can’t you’ll have to stay.
“What do I have to do?”
Derpy cross her eyes the most she could, crumple her mouth and made a pyramid shape. Then she used telepathy and said,
You must retrieve my awesome muffin of derpiness to me.
“That’s easy! I bet someone just took it, I’ll get it back. Tell me where they live,”
Said Durpy.
Durpy, it’s not a Pegasus you’re getting it back from, it’s a crixie, the princess of all crixies; Princess Sunshine.
“What a lame name!”
shouted Durpy.
It’s not very easy to get it back. The princess has the darkest and most cross-eyed eyes in most of Crixie Hollow. It’s going to be very hard to get my muffin back. He’s a compass that will take you to Crixie Hollow.
Derpy handed Durpy a compass. It was old and rust, half broken and the glass was about shattered.
“Easy as pie,”
exclaimed Durpy. Durpy started walking off in the direction of Crixie Hollow when Derpy slapped her face with her tail.
Durpy?
“Yeah?”
Also bring back some sprinkles.
Durpy wasn’t afraid of going by herself all the way to Crixie Hollow. She was afraid that she wouldn’t get back the muffin and the sprinkles and Derpy wouldn’t let her go on an adventure. Durpy knew where Crixie Hollow was because she had searched it in a book and found out it was behind the upside-down waterfall. She thought it wouldn’t be hard to miss. The weather was not cooperating. The wind was howling and made her hair blow into her face. She kept trying to get it out of her face but the wind just blew it right back in. Then, the wind got a little worse and loose leaves and sticks fell from trees onto her head. For some reason, Durpy felt that someone was doing this on purpose. She shouted out loud,
“Cut it out!”
but the wind just got stronger, and this time, colder. Her hands felt frozen and her cheeks were like ice. Her eyes stung from the intense freeze, and her arms were very cold.
“Stop!”
she yelled again. The wind just kept blowing and blowing, getting stronger by the minute. Durpy tried to put her hood on but it was blowing too hard and her hands couldn’t catch it.
“A new prisoner,”
said an icy voice from behind some trees.
“Yes,”
chirped in another.
“Let’s wait until the deep freeze comes,”
Durpy didn’t know what they meant by ‘deep freeze’ but she thought it had to do with freezing her. She was right. After around 5 minutes, she turned into a derpy ice statue of Durpy. Before she was completely frozen, she had one though, Dobolins!
Dobolins were known for turning people to ice and using their powers to lock them up. Dobolins were told to have millions of prisoners in their cells, and every time they put another one in, the cell shrunk. These Dobolins looked very, very evil. They had pointy faces and skinny features. Their eyes were completely black, and they wore all kind of strange attire. One was dressed like a caveman with two shoes that were sparkly. Another was wearing a cowboy hat and overalls so pink that they were brighter than the blinding sky of Derplandia. A third one who had taken Durpy up in his arms, all the way to the prison wasn’t wearing a shirt. He was wearing the tightest pair of jeans ever and jester shoes. He had a bandana over his head and he had a tattoo on his back that read ‘COWS GO OINK’. When they took Durpy to the prison, she expected millions of people there, about to die, maybe some skeletons already. She expected people starving, all kinds of creatures really; pegasi, drolls, Things, just plain insects, and maybe, out of luck, another Dinky like her. There was only one other creature on the cell with Durpy; a crocodile.
“Hey,”
he said. He held up his hand and put it back down.
“You’re a crocodile! You’re super strong and rare in Derplandia. Why are you here?”
asked Durpy when the dobolins left.
“I’m here because they caught me,”
he said.
“Wow, I’ve always wanted to see a crocodile,”
said Durpy.
“Good luck with that,”
he said.
“Huh? I’m confused…”
“Don’t be,”
“But you’re a croc-”
“I’m not,”
“Yes, you are! Have you forgotten?”
“Geez kid, you think I would?”
“No, maybe, yes, maybe, no, yes, maybe?”
“No, I have not forgotten who I am,”
“Apparently,” muttered Durpy.
“No,”
“Then what are you?”
“An alligator, that’s what I am!!!”
“Oh that makes sense,”
The alligator sighed.
“I’ve stuck in this cell for a long time,” he said.
“Oh,” said Durpy.
The alligator looked tired and beat up. He didn’t look strong and fearless like in the stories Derpy had told her about them.
“We have to break out of here, we can’t just stay locked up,” said Durpy.
“Yes we can,” muttered the alligator.
“I don’t know about you, but I need to get to Crixie Hollow to find Princess Sunshine and get a muffin back,”
“Sounds great,” the alligator said, “What a coincidence, I have to go to Crixie Hollow too. This might sound weird, but Princess Sunshine is my aunt, so don’t kill her.”
She couldn’t help but giggle a little, but she saw that he was serious. She extended her hand out to him and said,
“Well, I’m Durpy. What is your name?”
The alligator extended his claw and shook her hand.
“I’m Cyrus,” he said.
“We need to open this locked gate,” Durpy said.
“But Dobolins are guarding it from the outside! How will we ever pass them?” asked Cyrus.
“We can use your tail as a kind of shield. When they blow wind and snow at us, you will be able to block it,” Said Durpy.
Cyrus groaned and said, “I will never risk my tail! It might freeze or something!”
Durpy rolled her eyes and said,
“It’s okay, when we get away from the dobolins, your tail will unfreeze,”
Cyrus sighed and said,
“But how are you going to open up the highly locked and secure door?”
Durpy rolled her eyes again. The bronze door to the cell stood wide open, and when she peeked outside, she didn’t see any dobolins guarding the door. She saw something weird outside. It seemed that the dobolins were having some sort of party. Some were dancing on chairs and stools. Some were swinging baseball bats and hats around. One was even wearing war paint. They were all very silly-looking creatures. Durpy and Cyrus walked outside, and a very big dobolin stood in front of them. It didn’t seem like a smart dobolin, so Durpy asked it,
“May we please go through?”
The dobolin looked at them with beady eyes and said,
“Why are you here Cyrus? I thought you were in a cage?”
Cyrus gulped and said weakly,
“The cell was open, it wasn’t a cage.”
The dobolin didn’t seem to care.
“My name is Bob,” he said.
Bob was a very, very large dobolin. He was bigger than Durpy and Cyrus on each other’s shoulders, plus a head higher.
“Why aren’t you partying?” asked Cyrus.
“They think I am too big to party,” said Bob sadly.
Durpy patted his side.
“You could come with us; we are going to Crixie Hollow to retrieve a muffin and sprinkles. We could use you, big guy,” said Durpy.
Bob had a greenish-bluish skin color, with very dark and beady eyes. He looked frightening, and Durpy thought they could really use him. Bob was bald except for three little blonde hairs popping out from the left side of his head. Bob wasn’t wearing very strange clothes. He was not wearing a shirt (Durpy didn’t even think any would fit him) and he wore a kind of skirt (“It is a loincloth, like for cavederps!” he would protest.) Just if you don’t know, cavederps are like cavemen, but they were derps.
Bob carried Cyrus and Durpy on his shoulders.
“I have an enchanted map that can tell us where Crixie Hollow is,” said Cyrus.
Cyrus looked very deadly, with his white, pearly teeth glowing in the moonset. Bob took us to the exit of the dobolin lair, but then things went wrong. A dobolin wearing a giant banana costume with blue sequins on it started to yell at the other dobolins that Bob was taking Cyrus and Durpy.
“Why is Bob taking them?” he yelled.
A bunch of other dobolins said,
“Yeah, why Bob?”
Bob bravely turned around and said to the dobolin in the banana costume,
“You do not treat me nice, so I will go with them,”
He tilted his head towards Durpy and Cyrus.
“Why that pesky crocodile?” asked a dobolin.
“He’s an alligator you bird-brain!” shouted Durpy.
“I think you made them angry,” said Cyrus.
The dobolins were showing their sharp white teeth, and baring their claw-like hands. They were tipped with icy magic. Their eyes were glowing red, and they looked really angry.
“Oh no!” shouted Durpy.
“We have to fight!” exclaimed Cyrus.
Durpy nodded, and somehow, a sharp dagger materialized in her hands.
“How did you―?” Cyrus didn’t finish.
A dobolin that was very skinny kicked him. Cyrus flicked out his tail and knocked the dobolin out.
“Let’s fight!” roared Durpy.
Then before they knew it, the dobolins came charging like rockets.
“Whoa, fighting is a lot of work!” exclaimed Cyrus as they all set out camp for the night.
They had dealt with all the dobolins in the lair, and they had found a nice tree to sleep in. There, Durpy had noticed that Cyrus was actually cross-eyed. Bob had fallen asleep as soon as Durpy finished making his makeshift bed out of leaves and twigs. Cyrus stood up and said,
“So I guess I’ll keep guard.”
“We don’t need a guard, no one will come, trust me,”
Cyrus shrugged and asked,
“I never got to ask you where that dagger came from. Where did it?”
Durpy looked at her empty hands.
“I don’t know. It dissolved after the fight. I really don’t know where it went nor why it even came to me,”
Cyrus said,
“Don’t you think it’s weird that I’m a talking alligator?”
“No,” said Durpy.
She was used to way weirder things in Derplandia (had you even heard of ballet dancing hippos? Or about the hooting lions? Maybe about the tiny elephants that gave you cookies if you were nice to them?). Durpy said to Cyrus,
“Good night, I hope we find the muffin tomorrow,” and when she got into her bed, she fell asleep instantly like Bob.
Durpy had odd dreams. She dreamt she was floating through a blue-colored portal, and it was making her swirl around. In her dream, Cyrus was saying to her,
“Durpy, I quit! This was a lost cause! I’m going back to being a normal alligator,” and Cyrus stomped away angrily, into a sparkling blue pond, his back facing her.
Durpy wanted to say,
“No Cyrus, why!?” but she couldn’t say anything.
Then, the pond overflowed, and covered Durpy with water up to her shoulders.
“Help!” she wanted to scream.
Cyrus was nowhere to be seen, so Durpy felt awful. She didn’t even know why Cyrus had left! Then, the water flowed up to her cheeks, and she gargled and said,
“Cyrus! Where are you!?”
But it sounded more like
“Gyrug! Gwer are goo!?”
Then, a horrible sound filled the room. It sounded like death, and it seemed pleased the Durpy was drowning. Though at the same time, it sounded like summer flowers waving in the bright sun. The sound was laughing (it sounded like it was choking on a hairball though) and saying,
“You’ll never get it back! This is not just some pesky quest anymore. One by one, they will leave, leaving you with the power to stop me and reunite the team. But you are too weak, and you will never accomplish your goal!”
Then, it laughed again. Then, the water went down a drain, taking Durpy with it.
“Cyrus!” she screamed when she woke up.
Cyrus sleepily stumbled over to where Durpy was.
“What’s up?” he asked.
Durpy shook her head.
“I had a dream about you,” she said.
“Weird…” said Cyrus.
Cyrus yawned, a weird thing for an alligator, and said,
“Bob’s cooking breakfast. I hope you like eating squash, because he’s pretty good at cooking it.”
Durpy spun her head around, to get a better look at Bob, and Bob seemed delighted to be cooking. Cyrus said,
“Durpy, I have to tell you something important,”
Durpy sat down cross-legged and listened to Cyrus. His pale green scales shone in the moonlight, and Bob was singing ‘Twinkle, twinkle tiny derp’ over and over again in the distance.
“In my dreams,” he started.
“What?” Durpy asked.
“You see―”
“Breakfast is ready!” yelled Bob.
Bob had overcooked the squash, making its usually yellow color become black.
After breakfast, Cyrus took Durpy to another tree, while Bob was counting their supplies. It was a very tall tree, thick at the start and as it got higher, slimmer. Its yellow and green leaves were covered in dew drops, and the tree was a brownish color. Cyrus gestured for Durpy to climb up first, and she stuck her hand out to a branch. Then her foot went up, then her other hand, then her other foot, then again. She was looking out for a sturdy branch that they could talk on, but she got distracted at thoughts of how Cyrus was going to climb this thing. When she started thinking clearly again, she saw that Cyrus was already leaning on a fork-shaped branch, taking in the moonlight. Durpy climbed up, next to her alligator friend, and was at first surprised when he said,
“Don’t you think a day would make more sense if the sun was up with it? Not the moon?”
Durpy opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
“I mean, the day would be much brighter, and the night darker,” Said Cyrus.
Durpy spoke this time, but not what she wanted to.
“In the place where Dinkys come from, they always have the day with the sun and the night with the moon.”
Cyrus nodded and changed the topic,
“Well in my dream, I saw the muffin of awesomeness.”
Durpy said,
“Yeah, you told me that already.”
Cyrus sighed.
“Well, Princess Sunshine, my aunt, she was saying that the muffin of awesomeness was gone. She was telling me that now; we were in search of something way more important. I don’t know what she meant by that, but I have a feeling that we are on another quest now. I don’t think we are trying to find the muffin of awesomeness now.”
Durpy was confused.
“What do you mean? You said you also had to go to Crixie Hollow, but why?”
Cyrus clutched his tail tightly and said,
“My aunt, Princess Sunshine… she is trying to do something horrible to Derplandia,”
“What!?” shouted Durpy.
Cyrus tapped his claw on his head, like he was trying to remember something. He said,
“Well, in my dream, she was trying to get some ingredients she needs. All I know right now is that one of them is the muffin of awesomeness.”
Durpy gasped,
“But that’s Derpy’s muffin!”
Cyrus laughed.
“What’s so funny?” said Durpy.
“You see, you never think these things through until you’re up against them,” said Cyrus.
Now Durpy was really confused.
“What didn’t I think about?” she demanded.
Cyrus said,
“About how Derpy even obtained the muffin! You see, I think I understand what’s going on.”
Durpy slapped her hand against her forehead.
“That wasn’t Derpy!”
“Huh?” said Cyrus.
“Somehow, I think, Princess Sunshine possessed Derpy!” shouted Durpy.
“I was going to say something else but, go on,” said Cyrus.
Durpy knew it was obvious.
“Princess Sunshine knew that the dobolins were going to catch me, and that I was going to bump into you and Bob. Don’t ask me how in Derplandia she knows, but she just did. Then, she possessed Derpy, and enchanted her to tell me that she needed the muffin back! The muffin was never Derpy’s; we’re going into a trap!”
Cyrus’ eyes widened to the size of a full-grown Dingmellow.
“Then why aren’t we turning back? We can’t let anybody get hurt!” shouted Cyrus.
“Because,” started Durpy.
Cyrus nodded.
“I don’t think so though.” He said.
“Why not?” asked Durpy, leaning on the tree.
“Well, why did she possess Derpy? I mean, she could have chosen any other Pegasus in Derplandia, but why her?” protested Cyrus.
“But maybe it was just bad luck. Maybe she drew a name randomly, and out of luck, Derpy was chosen,” Said Durpy.
Cyrus said,
“I don’t think so. Maybe you have something of hers; something that belongs to my aunt. I think she either wants it back, or maybe she just wants it because she’s greedy.”
“I didn’t take anything!” exclaimed Durpy.
“But what do you have, that no one else in Derplandia has?” asked Cyrus.
Durpy was stumped. What did she have?
“I’m a Dinky,” said Durpy.
Cyrus nodded.
“She wants me,” Said Durpy.
“But what for?”
Durpy and Cyrus tried to explain their theory to Bob over the next two hours. Bob, as it just had to turn out, sometimes has problems hearing. He said it was because of his triangle-shaped ears since he was a dobolin. It went something like this:
Durpy: Bob, Bob! We have big news!
Bob: You have big shoes? Should I make you a new one?
Cyrus: No, not shoes; news! We think we found out something about the muffin of awesomeness!
Bob: News? About what?
Durpy: The muffin! The one we are trying to find!
Bob: We’re trying to hide a muffin! Why did no one tell me?
Cyrus: Seriously Bob, listen up!
Bob: Huh? Okay I am listening.
Durpy: Bob is listening as well as a hedgehog eating raspberries!
Bob: Yes, my grandmother is a blueberry.
Cyrus: What?
Bob was not very good at hearing. Durpy and Cyrus finally explained it to Bob, and Bob went,
“Ohhh!”
Cyrus slapped his tail on the ground.
“So are we off to my aunt’s home?” asked Cyrus.
Durpy nodded. Cyrus took out an old-looking paper, which was actually a map. It was drawn in dark red ink, and had a big X over near a pond. Durpy was staring at the X.
“Don’t ask,” said Cyrus.
He pointed to a small little dot marked in the center of the Small Forest.
“That’s where Crixie Hollow is. It will only be a day and we’ll get there. We only have one problem. Well, actually, two,” said Cyrus.
“What is the problem?” asked Durpy.
“It’s really bad, you see. We have to pass through a cavern full of wild Question Marks. If we don’t go through the cavern, we can’t get to the upside-down waterfall, where Crixie Hollow is. But you guys know that Question Marks―” started Cyrus.
“Don’t remind me,” said Durpy.
“What is the next problem?” asked Bob.
Cyrus took a deep breath and said,
“Guarding the upside-down waterfall, is a guardian who doesn't let anyone pass. The guardian only lets them pass if they kill the guardian, tell one of their deepest and darkest secrets, or sacrifice something you love.”
Durpy gasped.
“That is so mean!” protested Bob.
“Yep,” said Cyrus.
He pointed in the direction of the cavern full with Question Marks and said,
“Let’s rock,”
It took barely an hour until they came to the Question Mark cavern.
“This is it,” said Cyrus.
Durpy looked at the entrance, a dark entrance. It was interestingly shaped like a question mark, and it had a sign next to it that read, ‘cum in and si da horirs in sai d’. It was so badly written that Durpy took around 20 minutes to find out it read, ‘Come in and see the horrors inside’. Whoa, these Question Marks had bad handwriting. Then, Durpy realized that the dagger from the dobolin fight had reappeared in her hand. Then, she heard a shuffling noise from behind a bush. Quickly, she spun around, alerting Bob and Cyrus.
“Watch out, it might be a Question Mark!” shouted Durpy.
The shuffling got louder, and she heard two voices talking but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. Durpy suddenly lunged at the bush, scaring a terrified little stick, and a horrified little rock.
“What was that for?” said the stick.
Durpy looked at Cyrus and Bob.
“Umm… You’re a… stick,” she said.
“Yes, quite,” said the stick.
The rock looked at Durpy and said,
“You’re huge, dude,”
Durpy looked puzzled.
“How are you?” asked the stick.
“Fine, thanks,” answered Durpy.
Cyrus leaned in and they both shouted,
“Ahh! An alligator!”
Cyrus sighed.
“Finally, someone calls me an alligator! I don’t care if it came from a rock and a stick.”
The rock and the stick twitched. The stick walked foreword and glared at Durpy.
“Did you just call me a stick?” he asked.
“Uhh…”
“And bro, I am not a rock. I’m a pebble! There is a huge difference dude!”
The stick patted the rock.
“I am a twig! Get it right, you rookie,” said the stick.
While Cyrus and Durpy looked confused, Bob shouted,
“Yay! A talking twig and pebble! I will name them Emily and Bonnie!”
The twig shifted uncomfortably.
“Emily? Seriously? That is so original!” and the twig turned its back to Bob.
Bob frowned and looked at the pebble with lots of interest.
“Bonnie is a name for girl, bro. Name me something cooler, you know, with punk and rock,” (he was not speaking literally).
The twig slapped the pebble.
“We already have names, dude!” he said.
The pebble jumped and gasped.
“What’s my name again? Chester?”
“No,” the twig said.
Twig said,
“But I’m the pebble dude, you’re the twig,”
Pebble shook his head and said,
“Who cares!? My name is Pebble and I’m a twig, so what!?”
Twig nodded.
“Okay, so I’m Twig and this is my, like, friend, Pebble,” said Twig.
Pebble nodded and said,
“If you’re planning on crossing the Question Mark cavern, you’ll need some kind of protection spell.”
“Where can we get one?” asked Durpy.
“From us!” said Pebble.
“Just answer our riddle,” said Twig.
Durpy, Cyrus and Bob said,
“We’re in!”
Pebble stood on top of Twig, and said as loud as he could,
“What can be broken without being touched?”
Durpy stiffened. She knew the answer. She just knew it. Derpy had told her the answer. This was an easy peasy riddle. It was funny how Bob thought the question was,
“What is a door that can’t be opened?” and was saying random things like,
Cyrus was really thinking about this.
“A window, if you break it with a ball. You’re not actually touching it,” said Cyrus.
“Nope,” said Twig, tired of answering to Bob’s random answers.
For some reason, Durpy thought it was important that she didn't say the answer. She kept quiet, and said,
“A magical lock? You use a magic staff or something?”
Twig shook his head.
“Love, you can break it, like not loving someone anymore, and you don’t have to touch love, you can’t.” said Cyrus.
Pebble spoke,
“That’s actually true, but it is not the answer I was looking for,”
Bob, by now, was feeling useless. His random answers were not helping. They were irritating Pebble and Twig even more.
“Durpy, you promised I could be helpful along the way, but it seems I’m not,” Said Bob.
Cyrus clapped his claws.
“A promise, it can be broken without being touched!” he yelled.
Pebble said,
“Congratulations, you solved the riddle. Now you may―”
Then Durpy heard it; a screeching noise, squealing like a pig. It was coming from behind the same bush as Pebble and Twig had come from.
“Watch out! It might not be a rock and a stick this time!” warned Cyrus.
Twig said,
“PEBBLE and TWIG! Get it right already!”
Cyrus rolled his eyes.
Bob was shaking all over, holding a big log he had found as a club. Cyrus bared his sharp teeth. Durpy took out her dagger. The squealing noise turned into a rustling and shouting noise.
“Question Marks?” asked Bob.
Cyrus covered Bob’s mouth with his tail. When the noise was unbearably loud, everyone covered their ears.
“Is that―?” started Durpy.
Then out of the greenery, all beat up, bloody and injured, was none other than; DERPY!
“Derpy!” exclaimed Durpy.
Pebble and Twig started walking backwards, but Bob caught them.
“Give us the spell!” he demanded.
Pebble and Twig squirmed around in Bob’s giant hands and Cyrus yelled,
“Do it! Do the Pegasus too,”
Twig chipped off a tiny piece of himself, and Pebble cut off a strand of wood from his head. Then, the items started swirling around in the air, and turned into dust.
“Sprinkle this on yourself,” said Twig.
Pebble was trembling wildly, and Bob let them go. He put them on a smooth grassy area, where they ran off from the roaring sound that came.
Derpy had a gash on her left front leg, which was oozing blood. Well, it wasn’t like red blood, like for humans. Pegasi have blue blood, which might seem kind of gross, but it is what gives them the ability to use their wings.
“Derpy, what happened? Who did this?” said Durpy.
Question Marks, she said weakly. They invaded the flock, and a lucky few got away. I did not get poisoned but… they are coming, run!
“Question Marks?” asked Cyrus.
Derpy nodded, and Bob said,
“But we have protection!”
He was right. Pebble and Twig had given them protection from the Question Marks, but Derpy was already hurt.
“I know!” yelled Cyrus quickly.
“Crixie Magic, it’s really risky because crixies are horribly cross-eyed but I know some of them can help,”
“Good enough,” said Durpy.
They all ran into the awkward cave, faster than ever before.
“Question Marks are everywhere!” exclaimed Bob.
“They can’t hurt you Bob,” said Cyrus.
“THEY CAN HURT ME! HELP!”
Remember, Bob’s hearing was bad sometimes. Durpy still had the dagger attached to her belt. She was carrying Derpy with both hands, like a baby. Surprisingly, Derpy wasn’t heavy at all. She was actually light.
“Derpy, hang in there, we’re going to help you,” she said to her.
Derpy nodded weakly.
“Faster!” yelled Durpy.
Then, there was a big flash of light, just when it seemed that they were nearing the end of the cave. Bob had made the light. It was swirling around him; it was a blinding yellow light, like the sky. Then, Bob screeched,
“OUCH!”
A Question Mark had thrown a rock at Bob.
“I thought we were immune to them,” said Durpy.
“Apparently, the light means it goes away!” yelled Cyrus, as he was covered in the yellow light.
He slashed his tail out to a Question Mark.
“Don’t fight them! You’ll just get poisoned!” Yelled Durpy.
Bob grabbed Cyrus and ran for the exit.
“Derpy, you need to go with them, hurry!”
She handed Derpy to Bob who gladly carried her to the exit. Durpy was the only one who still had the protection spell on. That didn’t last long. Just as she reached the exit, the spell wore off, and a Question Mark nearly got her! Luckily, Bob had the idea of throwing a small tree at it, because it wasn’t actually Bob doing the touching. It was the tree. Then they ran a while, until they were in a clearing. There was a lake on the left side, and a big rocky mountain on the right side.
“Let’s rest,” suggested Cyrus.
He sat on a boulder and used his tail as a fan. Bob stuck his tongue out to catch a breeze, and Durpy kept Derpy company.
“Are we close to the Crixie Hollow?” asked Durpy.
“Yeah,” said Cyrus.
He had also picked up some water and gave it to Derpy.
“Thanks guys. I really needed your help, and thank you for helping me. I really appreciate it,” said Durpy.
Bob found some big leaves and spread them over Derpy like a blanket. Derpy was freezing, and she was extremely weak. Durpy sat by her side all day. Later, when it was starting to become night-time, Durpy decided to go for a walk.
“Can you take care of her while I’m gone?” she asked Bob.
Bob nodded and patted Derpy’s side.
“Good Pegasus!” he said.
The last thing Durpy saw before she left off was Bob trying to sing a song to Derpy, though she couldn’t catch which one it was.
Durpy walked slowly, trying to catch every detail of their surroundings. She wanted to find the upside-down waterfall, but it seemed to be nowhere. She took note of the plants and creatures around her. There were lots of Hiadies, who were like butterflies except they had an extra pair of wings, and they could change color all they liked. Hiadies also had night vision, so they could clearly see Durpy. Hiadies also could talk through telepathy, but they could only talk in very short sentences. The sentence, ‘There is a cat on my doorstep, help!’ was too long for them. They would have to say something like, ‘Cat! On doorstep! AHH!’ and it would be very weird. Right now, a small Hiadie had landed on Durpy’s shoulder. It changed color to match her purple jacket, and then, it fluttered off into the sun. Durpy was also seeing lots of delves. Ever heard of elves? Well, these were exactly like elves, except they could shape-shift. There were millions of delves in this area, and Durpy nearly stepped on a rock, which turned out to be a delf.
“Why did you nearly do that? You could have ended my life! You Dinkys have no respect for anything! Even Nightfellows have more manners…”
then it walked off angrily. Durpy hand nearly tripped on a stick, which had turned out to be another delf.
“Do you always step on sticks!? Where are your manners young Dinky!? Go get eaten my Nightfellows!”
There it was again, Nightfellows. Durpy wondered what that meant. She was about to find out, even though she didn’t know it.
Durpy had accidentally ripped a leaf off a tree, which just happened to be a delf.
“Why do I keep bumping into you guys!?” she said.
The delf shrugged and said,
“Don’t go any further, the Nightfellows are out in their hunting hour.”
This time, Durpy asked,
“What in Derplandia are Nightfellows!?”
The delf stood on tip-toe and whispered,
“They are like Dinkys, except much more vicious. Don’t even stand in the way of one, unless you want your head rolling on the ground,”
The delf shape-shifted into a ball and rolled away. Durpy started muttering to herself,
“Oh these delves are just so―”
“Drop your weapon!”
there was a loud voice coming from a high tree.
“I said drop your weapon!”
the voice repeated. Durpy wanted to run back to Bob with his magical freezing powers, but the voice made her want to stay.
“Don’t make me say it again!” the voice threatened.
Durpy grasped her dagger and dropped in onto the floor.
“Who are you?” she asked the tree.
A new voice said,
“She really doesn’t know?”
This one sounded like a boy.
“Let me rephrase that. What are you?” asked Durpy.
The first voice who spoke, probably a girl, said,
“Why should we tell you? You are invading our territory!”
“Territory?” said Durpy.
“You’re not from the Small Woods are you?” she asked.
“Uhh… I guess not,” said Durpy.
“We are the Night―” she started.
“No! Don’t tell her, she might tell someone else, like mother or father!”
“Oh please, she doesn’t even know them!”
“Or does she?”
The girl sighed and screamed down,
“Do you know our mother and father?”
“Not enough information,” muttered Durpy.
“But no, I don’t know them.”
“Then let’s tell her! Let her meet us. Durpy should know!”
“How do you know my name?” she wondered out loud.
“Because we’re Nightfellows, its part of what we can do,” answered the girl.
She jumped down from the tree while doing a summersault.
“Whoa!” said Durpy.
“Hi, I’m Sienna, nice to meet you,” she said.
Sienna looked more different than you would expect her to. What do you imagine someone named Sienna, which was a Nightfellow (hint: NIGHT from Nightfellow) to look like? If the clue was night, from the word Nightfellow, you might imagine her to look dark and wear black and her skin to be super pale. Sienna was quite the opposite. She had cinnamon colored hair, which was very messy and went down to her hips. She was wearing a braid, and her eyes were a deep-sea blue. She was wearing a beige coat with too many pockets to count and a light green dress that went down to her knees. She didn’t have any shoes on, and she was armed with a sword.
“So, have you seen any Nightfellows before?” she asked Durpy.
Durpy shook her head. “Who was up in that tree with you?” Durpy asked.
“My brother,” said Sienna.
Even though it was night, the sun came out in Derplandia, so Durpy could clearly see the young boy up in the tree.
“That’s Lake,” said Sienna.
“Where’s the lake?” asked Durpy.
“No,” Sienna giggled.
Lake jumped down from the tree. He looked a little like Sienna; same skin tone and deep-sea blue eyes. He was clearly a year or two older than Sienna, and by that I mean he was taller than her. He had black wind-swept hair. He was wearing a dark blue jacket over a light blue shirt. He was just wearing normal blue shorts and he was armed with a sword darker than death. Sienna’s sword was a lively golden color. Lake and Sienna had pale skin, not super pale, but a little pale. Durpy slowly picked her dagger up again.
Durpy found out a lot of things by talking to Lake and Sienna. For one, they both didn’t have parents. They lived with their mean aunt who always made them work, work, work, and did I mention work? They found themselves scrubbing every inch of the house and cleaning the bathrooms. They had to cook dinner and wash the plates every single night. Same for lunch and breakfast. Lake and Sienna also had run away just last night, during hunting hour so that their aunt wouldn’t notice they were gone until she came back from hunting.
“Why are you called Nightfellows? You look just like Dinkys!” Sienna sighed.
“Well,” she started.
Durpy could also see that Sienna and Lake had dark circles under their eyes.
Back at the camp, Bob was frightened to see Sienna and Lake. Lake seemed really interested in Bob. He asked Bob millions of questions about everything.
“Why do you only have three hairs?” he’d asked.
Bob had said,
“I do not know,”
“Why do you have icy powers?”
“Umm… I was born with the powers,”
“Why are you named Bob?”
“Because my mommy told me so,”
It was kind of funny. Then, Durpy had closed in on Derpy, and Sienna rushed over.
“Oh no! What happened?” she asked, pointing at Derpy.
“Umm… Question Marks happened. She’s not poisoned, it’s just that King Quote also sent Things after her, and Derpy got hurt,” said Durpy.
“I can heal her, so can Lake!” exclaimed Sienna.
Durpy looked puzzled.
“Because Nightfellows can also make some kind of magic! That includes healing magic, I can cure her,” Sienna called Lake over and Lake and Sienna started to hum.
Then, an odd green light glowed in their hands. It floated up in the air, and took the form of an eye. It was really, really weird. Then, the floating light faded as it went into Derpy’s injury!
“Is she gonna be okay?” asked Durpy.
“Yes,” said Lake.
“Tomorrow she’ll be just fine, and I can lead you directly to Crixie Hollow,” he said.
Cyrus nearly jumped a meter into the air.
“How did you know where we were going!? Are you psychic?!”
“No,” said Lake.
“Nightfellows can read minds,” said Durpy.
Cyrus nodded.
“We better rest, we need our energy for tomorrow,” said Durpy.
Derpy shivered in the dark, and Durpy slept right next to her all through the night.
Bob had his own icy magic, but he looked sad to be fighting his own kind. Durpy guessed that they were very mean to Bob, because why else would he be fighting them so bravely? Cyrus took out a group of dobolins using his head. The dobolins went flying through the air, and Bob punched them again and again. Durpy had never fought before, but she had great reflexes, and she was ready. When the first dobolin came, Durpy ducked, and Bob grabbed him for her. Durpy quickly thanked Bob and Bob said,
“Hurry! It is hard to fight them!”
and the dobolin tried to freeze Bob’s massive hand. Durpy nodded and sooner than she expected, another dobolin came charging at her. As it got nearer, Durpy felt colder and colder.
“Don’t let them freeze you!” shouted Cyrus while he smacked a pair of dobolins.
When the dobolin was a meter away, Durpy jumped. She jumped really high, higher than she had expected, and the dobolin ran under her. It looked confused. Then, when Durpy came back down, she landed on the dobolin and stabbed its back. No blood came out, the dobolin just turned into a purplish mist that blew away quickly. Then, another dobolin came right at her. This one was armed. It had an icy sword by its side, and was wearing military boots. Durpy instantly punched the dobolin and it fell. She kicked his back and then took his sword. She stabbed his arms with both blades, and became mist. Bob was trying to fight off a female-looking dobolin. She kept spraying some sort of liquid on his face, but Bob seemed immune. Cyrus was chomping up more dobolins, and Durpy was fighting with all her strength. Punch. Kick. Punch. Kick. Smack. Mist. That’s the way you had to kill them. Another dobolin came and grabbed Durpy’s arm. She stabbed his hands, and an arrow came whizzing by her face. Durpy used her dagger to deflect the arrows, and then threw the dagger at the user; an old looking dobolin with hair all over his body, with antennae. At least it looked like antennae. Another female dobolin was trying to scratch Durpy’s face, but Cyrus used his tail to protect Durpy. Then Durpy went under the tail and punched the female dobolin. With a stab of her dagger, it dissolved.
Author's Note
I know this is a short chapter, probably my shortest one, but don't worry; my next chapter will be long so I can make up for this short one.