An alcoholics recollection of Equestria

{Me}

[Soren]

^Omega^

*Midnight Shadow*

We got back to Las Pegasus just in time for work. I swear the gods had something against me.

(Some of us do.)

{Oh look. Everyponies favorite annoying space-invading goddess!}

(...I have news actually.)

{What kind of news we talkin here?}

(It's not safe to say in here, and I'm afraid you won't believe me anyway. We should talk somewhere in private.)

{Yea well. I have work right now, so we'll see.}

(You might not have to worry about that.)

With those mysterious words, she ended the connection. Well...that was weird. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Dream Cloud was keeping up. Good. I shouted to make sure I was heard over the wind.

"THAT'S WHERE I WORK!  WE GOTTA LAND THERE!"

"THE PLACE WITH ALL THE FLASHING LIGHTS?!" He yelled back.

I glanced down. He was right. There were a lot of odd flashing lights. Troubling. I hope Shade hasn't done anything stupid.

"YEAH! THAT'S THE PLACE!" With those words, I tucked my wings in and dropped to the ground at breakneck speed. I heard Dream Cloud gasp, but ignored it. I instead yelled out the only battle cry I know of.

"LEEEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOOOOYYY JEEEEEEEEENNNNNKKKKKIIIIINNNSSS!!!!!!"

The ground continued rushing up, yet I refused to pull up. No, I'm afraid i'm much crazier than that dear reader. (Yea! Fourth wall, stop trying to stand back up!) Instead, mere seconds before I became a nice little pancake on the ground, my horn lit up, and I landed on the ground. Teleport spells. Gotta love em. Dream Cloud decided to do it the wuss way, and simply landed. Well I guess not everypony can be as kool (With a K!) as me.

However something more pressing was on my mind. Upon closer inspection, those flashing lights were very familiar. They were red and blue. And I could now hear the siren. No doubt about it, these were the cops. Which could only mean...

"Shit. SHADE!"

I saw him being levitated out of the bar with...SWEET CELESTIA HOW MUCH WEED IS THAT?!

^Appears to be roughly 20 Kilos^

[Well...seems like we're out of a job. Unless we do something drastic.]

"Is that Shade?" Dream Cloud asked, shaking me out of my self induced stupor.

"Sadly. Yes."

Dream Cloud chose to simply whistle. I can't say I blame him. 20 kilos was pretty impressive. However we had more pressing matters on our hands. Namely, my livelihood. And the only stoner in all of Equestria was going to jail! All the fun I was gonna have...ruined in an instant. Unless...

"We have to do something." I told him.

"Why? I mean sure he's probably a cool guy, and yea he's your boss, but why should we risk our own lives?"

"Easy. He is the only stoner in all of Equestria." Dream Cloud just shook his head. Okay, so maybe I'm the only one that sees the benefits of combining weed and magic. Never the less I still had to try. Which means I have to pull the lowest punch in history.

I turned to Dream Cloud, batted my eyelashes, and in as a seductive voice as I could muster said the most persuasive words known to ponydom.

"Do it for me?"

Dream Cloud just stared at me for a bit, as if unsurprised I would pull this. Then he sighed and muttered out "Fine. Gawd your an ass you know that."

"You love it."

"Ya know, if ya don't stop now I might actually think your gay."

"Ya ya. Anyway...here's the plan.

[Oh boy. Here we go.]

{CUE DANNY OCEAN MONTAGE!}

XXXXXXX

{Wow I can voice over in the background of these things! Gawd I love being in a story. Oh sorry Fourth Wall. Didn't mean to roundhouse kick you to next Tuesday. Anyway. So first I'll take position on the roof across from the jail, and use Shadow Eye to get a detailed heat map.}

I run up to the top of the building. Checking to make sure no one saw me, I lay down my pad. What? Just cause it's a secret mission means I can't be comfortable? I lay down on the pad and look over at the prison. It's nothing major, looks like a typical run of the mill prison. Barbed wire fences, search lights, heavy amounts of guards. It's just really small. Guess crime isn't a big issue around here.

*Yea fancy that. Low crime rate in the land of magic and friendship. Didn't see that one coming.*

[Shut up Shadow. Let's focus on the mission right now eh?]

*Right. Breaking our stoner friend out of jail. Iniating Phase one of Right to Party.*

A quick flash of my horn, and my eyesight turns from normal to thermal vision. I quickly survery the prison, then look for Dream Cloud. "Alright. I got you on my scopes. Proceed with Phase one."

{Once I'm in position, you'll have to get to the security terminal. I'll try to make sure you don't run into anyone. The security booth is at the very center of the facility.}

DREAM CLOUD'S POV

'Alright. I got you on my scopes. Proceed with Phase one.' Oww. Him talking in my head was kinda painful.

'Hey man...owww...couldn't you have ah though of a better way to communicate? Other than mind to mind?'

'It doesn't hurt that bad.'

'Yes. It does.'

'Well then maybe you should stop talking, and start moving.'

'Copy that Overlord. Proceeding with Phase one.'

I started moving towards the vent. According to the blueprints we...procured, it should take me right above the security booth.

"I hope this works."