An alcoholics recollection of Equestria

here

This is the best copy. I recommend downloading it. I did pay more attention to this one though, but the blood scene is better in my google docs version.

{Protip! You should listen to the Mission Impossible theme, for the entire time. If it stops, go back and turn it back on. Here’s a link to a good one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pO2vLRrMWc&feature=related}

-{Danny Ocean Montage me.}-

{Me}

[Soren]

^Omega^

*Midnight Shadow*

DREAM CLOUD’S POV

I hate tight spaces. Let me emphasize on that. I HATE tight spaces. Unless...No don’t let your thoughts go there. Damn! C’mon. Gotta focus on the mission. According to the feed Midnight Shadow was putting through my head I was about 1 klick away from the security console.

Hold up. What the hell is a klick?

It’s a kilometer.

Why didn’t you just say kilometer?

Klick sounds cooler.

The reason’s I don’t reason with him. He’s making it harder for me to adore him with each passing second.

Yo. I’m looking at two tango’s in the first objective. Take them out quiet like.

Got it.

Ha. Stealth kill. That’s an easy one. Just move this grate here, and...Go. I dropped like a feather, landing on the one to the left. Before his partner could speak, I flipped over him and snapped his neck. Ezio would be proud.

Nice work.

-{The next step is the easiest one. All you have to do is press the big red button. Then I’ll come rushing in.

Why?

The big red button releases all prisoners. When it happens without an authorization code, the facility starts going into lockdown. Oh, and an alarm goes off.

I’m liking this plan less and less.}-

Okay. Just like in the plan. Big red button... big red button..Ah! There we go. God I hope this works. I slam the big red button and what do ya know? A loud klaxon goes off.

Alright. Whatever your gonna do. Do it now.

Midnight Shadow’s POV

Whatever your gonna do. Do it now.

-{What next?

Well to be honest...I’m just gonna improvise.

We are so totally fucked.}-

I heard the sirens as soon as he said that. Here goes improvising. I ran over to the ledge of the building and jumped off. I landed in a roll, and kept running towards the prison.

{Protip. Right now, this song fits more. LET’S GO COMBAT!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Rmf5JVeAgY&feature=relmfu}

At this point I simply let my instincts take over. I had no weapons, and I didn’t really have any magic. So...Here goes nothing. I look at the security booth. They had seen me. Well shit. I already knew how this was gonna look. I slowed to a stop in front of the checkpoint.

“Attention flankhole! We know your friend is in there. Tell us where he is, and you won’t get hurt.”

“...Hey buddy?”

“Yea?”

“You really better hope the first shot kills me.”

“What the-” I cut him off mid sentence. I rushed up to him and bucked him into his neck. His head snapped back. I barely saw the cold look in his eyes. I had already moved over to the next stallion. To hoofs to his stomach, then an elbow onto his head. I stumbled a bit. Standing on my hind legs was still a bit difficult. My stumbling gave one of the other ponies time to bring up his rifle...wait a second. Ponies have guns? BLAM! SHIT! And apparently they shoot real  bullets. I stared at the unicorn holding the gun. He just sorta sat there trembling.

“You bucking shot me! You seriously just bucking shot me!”

“Oh sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I facehoofed at this. These are officially the worst guards ever. Of all time. I ran up to him and hoofed him in the mouth. Before his head even moved from the force, I flipped him around and bucked him in his stomach. He flew into the wall and slumped to the ground. I had grabbed his gun with my magic. I had enough to use simple levitation spells apparently.

^And enough to fix that bullet wound.^

Now that my adrenaline was fading, I realized that bullet wounds hurt. A lot.

{That would be wonderful.}

A quick flash from my horn and I was healed...a bit. I could still feel the wound, but when I looked it wasn’t there.

^We didn’t have enough to fully heal it. The wound is closed, but that’s about it.^

{Thanks. I think that will do for now.}

[The hell you thinkin?! That hurts like a bitch!]

{We’ll live. Now hurry the hell up. We have two more of these before the actual prison.}

Yo Cloud? How you holding up in there buddy?

Dream Cloud’s POV

Yo Cloud? How you holding up in there buddy?

Well. I haven’t died yet. However in the mass chaos it’s almost impossible to find Shade.

Well I gave him a message that he should stay in his cell. Maybe you should just go cell to cell?

Sounds like a plan.

That conversation was 10 minutes ago. I had been looking through cells all that time. That was all my thought process was now. Turn head left, turn head right. There was never anypony in them of course, yet I still had to check. This might be the worst job ever. Of all time. Hay I think another minute just passed. Turn head left. Nope. Turn head rig-SWEET CELESTIA WHAT THE HELL?

I was looking at...a hanging body. He was bleeding everywhere. There was blood on the walls, blood beneath him, blood on the rope. No wait, all that had dried. I looked back to the pony. He looked remarkably like Midnight Shadow. He had a pure white coat, but the same red and  black hair. However his was very disheveled. I looked back at the wall. Sweet Celestia! I could make out words written in the blood.

My name is Skybreak.

Pinned up next to the words were...his wings. He had cut off his own damned wings!

Dream Cloud! Did you find him yet? Dream Cloud do you read me?

Sor...sorry Shadow. I just...saw something. In one of the cells.

Wanna talk about it?

That’d be nice.

Alright. If we get out of this I’ll sit you on my lap and you can tell Papa Shadow all about it.

Why do I put up with you?

Cause I am the sexiest pony around.

I sighed. Turning away from the gruesome scene infront of me, I continued my progression down the hall. Look left. Look right. Keep walking.

Midnight Shadow’s POV

I had made it past the second security booth, and had a few scars to show for my efforts. Dream Cloud had just cut the link. I wonder what was troubling him.

[Can we really worry about that right now?]

I eyed the next checkpoint. Soren had a point. I had bigger fish to fry.

{Protip. The More probably stopped, but that’s okay. I have another song that’s just as good.You can find it[url=]://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSr58oEY5lo&feature=relmfu] here[/url].}

They had two turrets set up. Twenty guards with guns pointing towards me. And all I had? Scars,disheveled hair, and two...smgs I think. Well I haven’t lost yet. Here we go.

“Well. Shouldn’t break my streak of stupidity, so here goes. LEEEEERROOOOYYYYYYYY!!!!!!” This made all the guards turn to me. They were dazed for a second, probably thinking I wouldn’t be this stupid. Well...I showed them!

“JEEEEEEENNNNKKKIIIINNNSSSSS!!!!!” I slid down, and fired both of my smgs.  Bullets started flying towards me. I got back up and started running towards the only place the turrets couldn’t reach. Sadly, this was towards the twenty guards. I had taken out two though. They had spread out, and were now behind cover. I still fired my smgs, in a vain hope they would do something. CLICK! Well. Looks like I got my wish. I dissipated the levitation spell.

{Any ideas?}

[Kick some ass, and chew some bubblegum. And we’re all outta gum.]

{Well. Here goes.}

I jumped into the air, and slammed my hooves into two stallions. I fluidly moved to the closest guard, and grabbed him with my levitation spell. Bullets slammed into him. I threw him into another guard. 6 down, 14 to go. I did a cartwheel over to the next guard and bucked his head back. I was landed on my two back hooves...and didn’t stumble. Looks like I’ve finally got used to this!

^I’m holding you up.^

{Killjoy.}

I got back onto four hooves. I had a few more bullet wounds now. I groaned in pain as two earlier scars opened back up. I slammed into the next guard, but staggered afterward. Another two bullets into my back. I coughed out a bit of blood. I don’t think I’m gonna make it out of this one. Still, in the face of danger, I can continue to be a smartass.

“Is...That. All you’ve. COUGH. Got?” I fell to my hooves. Well. I had a nice run. Looks like there’s nothing left to do but die.

^Magical Reserves at 100%.^

{Wow. Plot convenience. I love you so much.}

I looked up into someponies muzzle. No. Not his gun muzzle. His actual muzzle. I turned around to see guns all around me. This probably looked bad to the outside observer. Good thing I had an ace up my sleeve

[We aren’t wearing sleeves.]

{Fuck you Soren. Just fuck you.}

“Any last words?”

“A few. What’s your name?”

“Storm Wing. I’m warren of this prison.” I had hide my grin. Apparently in my Equestria, he was yet to be a captain. Sadly, I’m going to be delaying that...forever.

“Well. This changes my one liner. Instead I’ll settle for a simple...C’mon everypony. Say it with me. SCREW CAPTAIN STORM WING!” I summoned up my aura. And my old friend Desert Eagles. BAM BAM! “It appears you are no longer a part of the Being Alive club.” I turned to view the guards around me. I saw one of them shit onto the ground.

“Boo motherfucker.” Two of them ran. I slid into one of the runners and knocked him to the ground. The other received a bullet through his cute pony head. (Look. Ponies are cute. This is actually psychological trauma. I am feeling pain here. It breaks my heart that It has to...okay who the hell am I kidding.) I emptied the rest of my clips into the few remaining guards. Well improvising worked pretty well.

Yo Dream Cloud? I’m at the door. Get Shade and get your ass out of there I don’t think I’ll be able to take any more guards, and I’m pretty sure more are coming.

Only if you say get my hawt ass out of there.

Get your hawt ass out here Dream Cloud-

Well if you insist.

So I can kick it to the moon. I hate when people cut me off.

PREVIEW OF NEXT CHAPTER!

{Soren...what the hell did you do to him?}

[Maybe we should walk into his mind...just to make sure it didn’t scramble him too bad.]

I heard this song playing in his mind, and knew we had either done the right thing, or fucked everything up.