An alcoholics recollection of Equestria

{Me}

[Soren]

^Luna^

*Midnight Shadow*

I awoke fully rested for once. No hangovers, no girls last night. A nice nights full sleep. I cracked my neck and hopped out of bed. I had a lot of work to do.

[Actually, you just have to go to new bars and see if they need a bartender]

{Soren, to me that's a lot of work}

[Like you weren't going to the bars anyway.]

Damn. He had me there. Still I wasn't just gonna walk out looking like I did. I needed a shower. Waking up drunk does not make you very clean.

___________________________________________________________

i got out into the great city of Pegasus. The sun was happily shining on the smokers and gamblers walking in and out of casinos. The birds were hacking due to all the smoke they've taken in. It was a postcard moment. I actually got a little misty eyed.

[Your the biggest pussy in the world]

{Unfrue, however when I find said pussy I'll be sure to fuck it}

[Ignore previous comment]

Now to simply find a new bar. That shouldn't be too hard.

___________(fuck it these take too long to type)

Three hours later and I stil haven't found a place. I swear it was like Equestria hated me or something. Which for all intensive purposes, it probably did. I was about to say fuck it and go home, when I saw it. The setting sun illuminated the Virgin Marey. A help wanted sign was in the window. I quickly dashed over to it and walked in. I went over to one of the workers and told him I was there to apply for a job. He told me to go through the back, and up the stairs. I slid through the door before realizing I was missing a few things neccesary to get a job.

A. A resume.

B. Good clothes.

C. Work experience.

Actually scratch C. I worked as a bartender while on Earth. Probably still had my resume. Well I would've. Suddenly my horn glowed black and a perfect copy of my resume popped into view. Apperently Luna had been learning some tricks.

^I don't believe you should call me Luna with the real one here. I would like my name changed to Omega.^

{Like from Red Vs. Blue?}

^Something like that^

{Fine. Personality change. Omega AI.}

^Body operating at 89%. Magic reserves at 100%. Usable magic at 80% and rising.^

{That was...immensly helpful.}

[Not to mention creepy]

{Still pretty helpful.}

My internal monologue was cut short by the bar managers office's door. With my resume in hoof I walked in and shook the managers hoof. He was a grey coated stallion with a Jamaican colored mane. As he sat down I noticed his cutie mark was a blunt. This was going to be good.

"Wazzup maaan. How's it hanging? I'm Shade." The grey stallion said.

"Midnight Shadow. Pleasure to meet you."

*OMGWEARECALLEDMIDNIGHTSHADOWWHATANAWESOMENAME!*

"So what are you applying for. We have a bartending position, as well as a few waiter positions." Shade said.

"If it's alright with you, I'd like to be a bartender."

"Got any work experience?"

To answer I tossed over my resume. He brought it up to his eyes with magic and glanced over it. He smiled about halfway through.

"Looks like your good. Can't say I've heard of these bars, but the names sound familiar. You've got the job."

"Sweet. When do I start."

"If your ready, you can work tonight. It's 6 now, bar opens at 7. You got an hour to eat."

"Thanks. I'll be back in an hour."

I walked out. That was easier then I expected. But who cares I was workin my dream job again! The only job that truly makes me happy. My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten in two days. Hmm. I guess that's what Luna...Omega meant by 89%. I looked around for a resturant. There was a tough looking grill nearby. Said Griffon Hunters. Looked like the best place for a burger, so I trotted in. To my surprise they actually had steak! Wonderful steak! Sweet Celestia a seasoned steak. I ordered it and a Bud Celestia. I almost burst out laughing at that one. I can only guess what Marlboro's are called. I dug into the steak, snapping the delicious morsel up. I then practically chugged my beer before walking back to the bar.

______________________

I got out of the bar at about 4 in the morning. It was a damn fun night, and the DJ was amazing. However she was...strangely familiar. I was too tipsy to place it though. Maybe I'll stay sober longer tomorrow night. First though, a nice deserved sleep.