An alcoholics recollection of Equestria

{Me}

[Soren]

^Omega^

*Midnight Shadow*

For a few seconds I sat there, before realizing that the most powerful being in this world was in my head.

(That’s not exactly true.)

{So there is someone more powerful than you?}

(I think you should come to my room in Canterlot. I’ll explain everything there. Here I’ll even teleport you.)

{Actually I think thats-} I am cut off as a bright light engulfs my body.

“That that is a bad idea.” I finish before the princess. See I still had a boner and...yea. To make it more awkward, I suddenly thought about Princess Molestia. Celestia’s eyes went very wide as I thought about all the porn and all the stories from it.

“I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING!” She yells at me. Oh yeah.

^Common sense would dictate we not think about such things. No need for her to have an existential crisis.^

“Yes. Omega is correct Midnight Shadow. While I remain in contact with your mind I would advise you to keep those thoughts from your mind.”

“Okay okay...wait hold up. You heard that?”

“Of course. I am in your mind after all.”

[Obvious bitch princess is obvious.]

{Soren shut the fuck up. You’re going to get us both killed.}

[Fine.]

“Seems like Soren just got, how do you humans put it, “pussy whipped.”

[THAT’S IT! THIS BITCH IS OVERDUE FOR AN ASSKICKING!]

Soren took my sudden shock at Celestia saying pussy whipped and took over my body. He used shadows to create a small whip, then used telekinesis to lift the Princess. He then proceeded to whip her in her... yea.

“WHO’S GETTING PUSSY WHIPPED NOW BIATCH?” Soren had apparently taken over my voice as well. And he sounded pretty pissed.

[Damn right I’m pissed!]

{Do you have it all out of your system now?}

[...Yea. Proceed with negotiations.]

I dropped Celestia. I was kinda pissed at her too. But I did make the whip disappear. She get’s my mercy for now.

“How’s this for a plan Celestia. I don’t scar you for life, you don’t fuck with my consciences. Because my consciences enjoy kicking ass.”

“Agreed. I am sorry Soren.”

{Apology accepted?}

[Eh seems legit. Whatever.]

“Apology accepted. Now then. Why the fuck am I here?”

“I will explain. I just want you to know something very quickly. All of what I am telling you is true. Every. Last. Bit.”

“Mkay. Begin.”

*Yay a story from Celestia! Also Soren if you disrespect the Princess again I will take you to the memories of Lost. And I will make you watch them. All of them.*

{Mmm. Soren you just got pussy whipped twice in an hour.}

[...We never speak of this day.]

“Thank you Midnight Shadow. You are truly a gentlecolt. Now then Tanner. I’m going to tell you how this Equestria was made. I’ll give you a few seconds for your internal monologue.”

{She knows my name!}

*Course she does bro. She’s Celestia.*

“Now then. Shall I proceed?”

I nod my head yes. Maybe I can get some answers to the questions that I haven’t been caring about.

“I will start off with String Theory. The truth is there are multiple universes, and as of this, multiple Equestrias. They are all made by humans. The original one was made by Lauren Faust. But now every brony with a strong mind creates his own after death. However all of their Equestrias share some common similarities, as they are all based off of the original blueprint. Are you understanding any of this Tanner?”

Amazingly I did. It all made a lot of sense. Then again I already understood and believed in String Theory, so it wasn’t too much to take in.

“I thought you would. Now is the part that won’t make sense. Bronies do not die. You see, a brony is much like an alter ego, like the ones inside you. And when a brony dies, that personality simply is knocked out of them. If they have a very strong mind, they create an Equestria. If not, then they join a different Equestria. Kind of like Heaven, but with multiple gods. Now I am going to answer your question of how Firewall knew so much. Because he was one of those bronies. All self insert fics are like this. You see since your body is still on Earth, you can still technically use it. Every brony’s body writes down the events happening to the personality in Equestria. Then they post it. Yours is currently being posted on FiMFiction.net. It’s under the name An Alcoholics recollection of Equestria.” Celestia gave that time to sink in.

I thought about her words. They sort of made sense. And even if they didn’t, I still had an excuse to do this.

{Hello reader! Let’s brohoof! Be careful to not cut yourself on the broken 4th wall. /)(}

*^[Wow...really?]^*

“Amazingly this is making perfect sense my dear Celestia. Let me elaborate for a bit, just to make sure I am understanding all of this perfectly.” I had Soren conjure me up a pipe and a tweed jacket.

“To my understanding, you are saying that I did not die, rather my mind and body were separated. My mind was powerful enough, likely because of how many others are in it, to fabricate a copy of Equestria to the best of my knowledge. I created this entire universe. And other bronies can now enter it. However my body is still on Earth, and is recording my wacky and no doubt hilarious adventures. Correct?”

“Exactly. Perfect.”

I held up my hoof. With this knowledge, I was almost certain I could finish it.

“However it is not an exact copy, due to the other self inserts I read. That explains Mareboro’s. It will also explain other things as time comes to pass no doubt. Also this Equestria was fabricated from my own mind, which explains the existence of gambling, alcohol, and in all reality probably everything different in this world. Correct?”

“Yes. You seem to have understood that quite well. Now you know why I said I wasn’t the most powerful person in this universe. Anything else you’d like to know?”

“How do you know this?”

“Ah. That is the easy part. There is only one real Celestia. The energies in her are impossible to copy. So she cloned herself. She sends one of us clones to every dimension. “

That made. Shitloads of sense actually. So...

“Anything else you want to get off your chest?”

“Well there is one thing. If you don’t mind.”

“Shoot.”

“I have someone that we have to lock up. The problem is he can not be held in any normal jail. He is a demon. If you can whip him into line, he could be a very great ally. However until that point he would be another voice in your head.”

“Another voice eh? What’s in it for me?”

“100 bits per month, and a place to stay in the palace if you ever need it.”

DAYUM! That deal was pretty sweet. Besides it’s just another voice in my head right?

“Correct. He shouldn’t be much trouble. You may call him Reaper. That is the name he took for himself.”

Oh shit. Not THE Reaper. I knew they got him, but for him to become a demon...

“You know of this Reaper?” Celestia looked shocked.

“Yes...no...kind of. You see there is this organization back on Earth called Anonymous.” I facehoofed. “Sorry there is a collective of individuals under the name Anonymous back on Earth. Their plans were to overthrow their corrupt government. Once Operation V engaged, he started popping up. Very anti-government, very pro-revolution. He was right, but still. I heard the government got him. He was tried for treason, and they murdered him.”

“Yes. That is him. Well apperently Hades enjoyed his act so much that he made him a demon. He then came here. I have harbored him for the centuries that he has been here.”

“Wait centuries? But I created Equestria!”

“Exactly. Time was sped up until this present moment. But we still have our history. Everything still happened. So yes centuries. Also as long as you have him you will be immortal. Do you accept?”

“Fine.”

She suddenly advanced towards me. My thoughts almost went to Molestia. But her horn touched my mind first. Suddenly my head exploded. Pain was everywhere. I almost blacked out. But as quick as it started, it ended. Celestia sat back and stared at me. Expecting me to say something.

“That hurt like a motherfucker.” It wasn’t really that bad, I just kinda wanted to bitch about something.

“Good. You can contain him. Now that that is done, I will send you back to where you came from. Maybe if you’re lucky you can go round 3 in the morning.” I swear she had a troll face. Before I could make a smartass remark, a white ball of light engulfed me, and I was back in Vinyl’s arms. Now to get some nice peaceful sleep.

[Yea. Before that happens, you’re gonna want to come in here.]

I just can’t get a break today can I?

Authors note. Gotta love dem cliffhangers. I was originally gonna post on Wednesday, but I saw MY name on Celestia Radio, and it inspired me to finish this chapter. Also side note, everything I do I do for a reason. So even though this Demon won't exactly have a major role now, He will later. Also back in 3? That duplicate spell and the bit about not using it on yourself? Yeah. Something will happen with that. Kinda soon actually. :trollestia: Now you want to know what I could do with that huh? Keep reading... DEM CLIFFHANGERS!(I've been drinking)