Entry #10

Are you absolutely positive you're a legitimate member of the Wonderbolts? No offense, but it sounds like they're keeping you around for a completely different reason...

Huh?

I'm definitely a Wonderbolt, dude. I'm wearing the flight suit right now. You know, the blue one all the official Wonderbolts wear? I mean, you can get, like, cheap fake ones at the store for, like, Nightmare Night and stuff, but this is the real thing! Also, I have goggles that say "Wonderbolts" on the inside of the rim. I've seen it, I saw it when I had to take the lenses out to clean them.

You know what, never mind. They wouldn't have given me that stuff if I wasn't a Wonderbolt, 'kay? They don't do that. It's not like just having the official stuff makes you a Wonderbolt, but I guess you guys need concrete proof instead of just my word, right?

So now do you believe me?

Are you sure you aren't just some bit of fun for them? Sounds like it to me.

Seriously, they can have any mare they want. Why the heck would they hire me just to, you know, do it with me? Jeez. Trust me, I would'a done like almost half the stuff they have me do even if I wasn't on the team. Yeah, sure, some of it's kinda painful, or embarrassing, or whatever. But I'm completely fine with it, 'kay? I'm not joking.

You guys worry almost as much as my therapist! I can take care of myself!

The postage for all this fan mail must be super expensive to get it to the base that is most likely in the sky.

And I bet its super heavy.

Have you ever given the mail ponies some Extra "compensation" for all the hard work they do?

I already freaking said, I'm not a whore, okay? It doesn't work like that! I don't live in some porno universe where pizzas always have dicks in the middle and plumbers always get paid with sex, okay? This is the real freaking world! You guys are totally deluded if you think I'm loose enough to screw anything I run into!

The only mail pony I ever had sex with is Derpy, and that was 'cause she and Soarin were already dating, so it doesn't even have anything to do with the mail. I don't screw ponies to pay for my freaking mail. Got it? That's just pathetic.

Is the pay good, at least?

Heck yeah! Kinda thought it would be a little more than what I get, but hey, I'm not gonna complain. It's way better than my old job pushing clouds around for minimum freaking wage, right?