Chapters (prologue) Dem Silly Pranks
Hello everypon-BODY, everybody, god. My name is Markiplier and I apologize for that opening. I've been hearing the word "everypony" everywhere I went for the past 3 days. That's when you know something's wrong, when you start saying "pony" in every sentence, that's a sign that says you're in deep shit. So anyway, I just had the weirdest trip of my life and I wanted to tell you guys about it because let's face it, I can't keep stuff from you guys. Even if I try to hide anything, it get's out somehow. Maybe Wade might have something to do with letting stuff leak to the internet. DAMMIT WADE! Anyway, this trip actually took place a little after I came back from Blizzcon, which I had a great time at. Got to meet some of my fans, got to play with you guys, and all that stuff. But yeah, that's basically where all of this recent trip began, and I'll promise you guys that if you leave now without having to hear any of the story, I won't be offended in anyway, in fact I wanna leave with you. I don't want it in my head and I don't want it haunting my dreams or my life. But it happened and I guess I can't really change it now. For those of you who ARE interested, buckle up cuz we're gonna be here for a while.
So anyway, it all pretty much started ever since I got back home from Blizzcon. I brought in everything into my apartment, my bags, my costumes, all the fan stuff, that kind of thing. And after I got done putting away some of my things, I looked through my fan bag to see what you guys gave me. And you know, every time one of my fans makes something for me just warms my heart. You guys are amazing and I have no idea what I'd do without you, so the fact that you make awesome things for me just makes me so happy. But anyway, as I was looking through the bag full of pink mustaches, Tiny box Tim's, and all that stuff, I found something that was very peculiar. What I found was a pink card with three balloons on it, one yellow in the middle and two blue on the outsides. I thought to myself, "I don't remember getting this from anyone." I sat down on my couch and examined it.
On the cover, it was sealed with a special kind of stamp, like one of those waxed stamps with a symbol on it. I didn't really recognize what or who this particular symbol represented though. All it was was it was just in the shape of a crescent moon. I figured, "It must be one of those fans who have like their own thing, like a YouTube channel or a DA or something." Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to open the letter. As I opened the flap though, there was a burst of a squealing noise and there was just confetti everywhere. It startled me for a bit, but after a blink or two, I was normal. "This guy knows how to make a good first impression through a letter." I joked as I pulled out the paper from inside the envelope. It read,
Dear Markiplier,
First off, I just wanted to say I am a huge fan of your work. Ever since you played that one containment breach game, I went bouncing off the walls for you...then again, I'm always bouncing off walls, especially when me and my friends go save the world. ANYWAY! I got so excited watching your videos that I wanted to meet you in person, which unfortunately I couldn't do for a couple different reasons. 1. You were at Blizzcon where you were out in the open with a bunch of other people, 2. Twilight couldn't, and wouldn't let me go to your world, 3. Princess Luna was also interested in meeting you, even though Princess Celestia wouldn't exactly let her, therefor Twilight couldn't send both of us to your world, and 4. I had too many cupcakes to deliver! Can you believe that!? BUT! I was thinking about it long and hard and I finally came up with a brilliant idea! YOU could come to MY WORLD! It'll be so much fun! Twilight wasn't too sure about the idea, but since Luna was in with the idea too, she agreed to make a spell that would send you here. I don't know why Luna didn't do anything though. I mean she's been a princess longer than Twilight has...maybe it's cuz of royalty stuff. Anyway, it did take a while for Twilight to write the spell though. Apparently jumping from world to world isn't the easiest thing to do. Eventually she did figure it out though, and it's actually attached to this letter. There should be a warfstache stache stachy stache with this letter. If you put it on, you'll be teleported here to Equestria. It's that easy! Go ahead and put it on! I'll be waiting for you!
See ya soon!
~Pinkie Pie
I read through it three times because I didn't understand any of what it was saying. I did see the warfstache though, but everything else didn't quite make sense to me. Equestria? Princess Luna? A different world? PINKIE PIE!? The first thing that poofed in my head when I saw the letter was it was from someone named Pinkie Pie. If any of you recall, Pinkie Pie was the pony in the place of SCP 173 in my mlp scp playthrough. I was scared out of my pants when I played that one, and everyone got really upset in the comments about how bronies are like the dumbest thing ever or something. I didn't think there was actually a guy, or girl, named Pinkie Pie! I set the letter down and backed away slowly because if I know Pinkie Pie, I know that she' s dangerous. I didn't want anything to do with Pinkie Pie.
I went into the kitchen to grab some water. Even though I hated it, I thought of the letter. It was all just so weird. Parts of the letter made it seem nice and welcoming, but there were also parts that were horrifying. "Maybe someone's playing a prank on me. Cuz there's no way any of that is real." I thought. "Maybe it's just a way of saying I'm awesome and they wanted to give me a gift." That seemed like the logical answer to the mysterious letter, so I went back to the couch and read it again. It seemed like it would be what a prank letter would look like, so I decided to play along.
"Oh, you'll see me soon, huh? I'm sure you will, in hell." I joked. I looked at the warfstache, which seemed normal. It did look impressive as a mustache and it wasn't just a paper rip off kind of thing. "How'd they fit this in the envelope?" I thought, cuz what it actually was was it looked like a real mustache with pink fluff/hair and everything. And if it had the fluff, it'd take up more space than paper would. For some reason that puzzled me for a bit. I looked back at the letter and it said this thing had a spell on it that would teleport me to another world or something. "That sounds like something a game would do to you." I complimented. I looked at the stache again. It didn't look like anything was wrong with it. It did look tempting though. "Eh, the hell with it." I said, and I put it on.
...Nothing happened.
"WELL AIN'T THAT JUST A PICKLED PEACH." I shouted, a little disappointed. Then again, it is a prank. It was nice of them to actually give me a warfstache, so I was happy about that. "Maybe I'll do something with it later." I figured, so I took it off and placed it down next to the letter. I looked at the time, which read 6:10, and I thought, "I've got time to make a video or two. I feel like playing prop hunt with the guys anyway." So I got up and walked over to my computer, yawning on the way there.
After like half way through the video, for some reason I got more and more tired, and Bob and Wade started to notice.
"Mark, I think you're loosing your focus." Wade retorted.
"No, YOU'RE loosing your focus!" I called back.
"Well, no. Cuz you keep hiding like out in the open and your slower than normal."
"How am I slow? The speed is always the same in this game."
"I think it might be cuz of Blizzcon." Bob suggested. Normally, he's the smart guy out of all of us.
"Yeah, did you have too much fun without us, Mark?"
"Shut up Wade! And for your information, I did have a fun time. It's just that I don't know why I'm tired now. It's only like 6:45."
"So you admit you're tired."
"Well yeah. Why else would you think I would hide as a big box right in the middle of the street!?"
"Mark, I think we all know you'd do something like that." Bob reminded us.
"...Oh yeah. Bad example." Everyone laughed.
It was a little unusual for me to be really tired when it was only 7 o'clock, but I kept going anyway. I wanted to beat Wade one more time before I called it quits though.
"I'M COMING FOR YOU WADE!"
"Yeah, I'm sure you are."
"Meanwhile, I'll go try to find Zombie." Bob said. We've had Zombie play with us before in the past, and Bob pretty much knows Zombie better than any of us do.
"K, you do that, I'm gonna..." *yawn* "I'm gonna go try to sniff out Wade."
"Oh, are your eyes so baggy, you can't even see anymore?" Wade teased.
"How in the world is that even supposed to make any sense?" I asked.
"It just does."
"Yeah, right...Are you in here?"
"You passed me like 12 times already."
"No I didn't."
"Yeah you did. In fact you're right next to me."
"Where? In here?"
"No!" Wade laughed. "Your so bad at this!"
"SHUDDUP! I'll get you eventually!"
"Mark, he's right here." Bob came in.
"Where?...OH! There he is!" I shot at a box in the room he obviously wasn't in. Bob and Wade just kept laughing.
"Mark, I think we better call it a night." Bob suggested.
"NO! Not until I kill Wade!" I could barely keep my eyes open at this point.
"Mark, I'll make it really easy for you." Wade offered. All of a sudden, I see a flower pot move right in front of me."
"...No, that's not you." I joked. They just kept laughing. Eventually I did kill him and we ended it right there.
I didn't even bother to go into editing the footage. I was extremely tired that I struggled just getting to my bed. I didn't even bother to change, I just plopped on my bed, closed my eyes, and just fell asleep.
Well, this is a predicament
"Ah...My head." I groaned as a gradually woke up. I rubbed my temples to try and numb the headache, but as I slowly opened my eyes and the focus started to come back into my sight, I noticed that I was not in my bed. "Must've rolled off the bed at..some...point...?" As I said that, I noticed I wasn't on a carpet either. I was laying on grass underneath a tree, which would be a beautiful sight to wake up to if it weren't for my headache. I don't even know how I even got under a tree anyway, more-so a cartoon-ish kind of tree. In fact, as I looked around, everything was more cartoony than normal. Some of the features around me even looked 2D, but they weren't...if that makes any sense. "How the..where are all....where am I?" I asked myself because nothing looked like home at all! I wasn't in my room, I wasn't even in my apartment. I was just in the middle of no where.
I had a little trouble standing up though, something didn't really feel right, but I was too busy looking around to notice. Despite all the weirdness, there was a small town in the distance, so naturally, I headed toward the civilization. As I walked, I thought about what was happening. "How the hell did I end up in the middle of no where? Was I sleep walking, or is someone pulling pranks again?" Suddenly, something flew past me. It looked a lot bigger than a regular bird, even the color wasn't like any bird I've ever seen. The only thing I could make out of it as it zipped past me was the rainbow streak. It startled me, but I kept walking, just at a slower pace. "The hell was that?"
As I got closer to the town, I noticed there wasn't a person in sight. In fact, there was only colorful horses everywhere. "That's not weird...that's not weird at all." I said to myself.
"Well that's good!" A high pitched voiced said behind me. I swear, it made me jump 20 feet into the air.
"AAAHH-HA-HAAAAH!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH GOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAY!!!! I shouted as I ran. If I knew that voice, that was the voice of Pinkie Pie. I ran as fast as I could right into town. I didn't even care of anyone saw me running and screaming like and idiot, I was not gonna get caught by Pinkie Pie. I ran all the way to an apple orchard where I hid in one of the trees. I don't even know how I got up in a tree, but I didn't even care due to the fact that I lost Pinkie...or so I thought.
"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!" SHE WAS IN THE TREE WITH ME!
"HOOOHLY SHIET!!!! RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHNNNN!!!!!!!!!" I ran toward a bell tower. In fact, I ran to the inside of the bell. Don't ask me how I did it. I was breathing heavily since I ran so fast, but as I rested, I let my guard down again.
"I'm so happy you made it!" That familiar squeaky voice said to me once again.
"AH! JESUS BALLS! GO AWAY!" I ran again. This time, I ran into one of the restaurants if you can call it that. They had baked goods everywhere, everything from cakes to cupcakes, and the whole place smelled like chocolate. There were a few small horses sitting at tables looking at me like something was horribly wrong. To me, something WAS horribly wrong. I was being chased by something deadly, and I needed a place to hide. I figured if it's anything gaming has taught me, the closets are the best place to hide. So naturally, I rushed to the closet. I even found a chair for a defense mechanism. And as luck would have it, I heard that familiar voice outside the door.
"Did anypony see a white unicorn colt run through here?...THANKS!" A white unicorn colt? Before I had time to think about that, the door flew open and standing right in front of me was the pink bundle of death.
"STAY BACK! I HAVE A CHAIR!!" I shouted as I pulled the chair out in front of me trying not to blink.
"Heeheehahahaha! You silly filly! I'm not gonna hurt you." Pinkie Pie laughed.
"DON'T EVEN THINK TO USE YOUR TRICKSY TRICKS ON ME!"
"OOH! I love tricks! Watch me run all the way out of town and back!" And off she went.
"Now's my chance! GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!" I yelled as I ran out the door. I decided to run to the center of town cuz for some reason I thought she's never find me there. "I gotta get outta here. I gotta get outta here!" I huffed. I looked down out of exhaustion, only I didn't see feet. Instead, I saw white hooves. Were those mine? "What's the hell!?"
"RAINBOW DASH!" I heard Pinkie's voice in the distance. That was a really bad sign. I froze for a second and focused on what was going to happen. I remembered there was a rainbow pony in the scp game and I remembered that she was somewhat deadly as well. So I looked around for a rainbow pony, while at the same time being scared out of my mind.
Eventually I did spot a flying "object" in the sky, but it got closer, and closer, and closer, until I realized it was the rainbow pony. "AAAHH NO DON'T KILL ME!" I closed my eyes and braced for impact...except it never came. I opened my eyes to see I wasn't even in the center of town anymore. I was back to where I started, which was right underneath the tree on the outskirts of town.
"What the hell!? How'd I end up all the way back here!? Did I die!? DID I WON!?" There were just so many questions in my head and I had no idea who to ask. I thought I was gonna break to a mental meltdown right there. That is until I heard a different voice behind me.
"Uh, can I help you sir?" I turned around to see a small brown colt with a cute hat that had a pinwheel on top. I have no idea why and I know it probably wasn't a good idea, but I told this kid what I knew as of this far.
"Y-yeah, I think I'm being chased by a mad mare. I don't know if you've ever heard or seen her before, but she's pink with curly hair. She just called out to someone named Rainbow Dash to kill me. Can you help me?" I asked nervously. He stared blankly at me for a sec, then after two blinks, he chuckled. "What? What's so funny?"
"Sorry, it's just that the way you described Pinkie Pie was funny. And she's not a mad mare. She's just happy like all the time, especially when somepony new comes into town."
"Sh-she is?"
"Come to think of it, I've never even seen you in Ponyville before."
"Ponyville?"
"Yeah, that's where I live! Everything happens there, and it's a lot more lively lately. But I'm not really into all the excitement. I'm more of into gaming. Do you like to play video games?"
"Y-yeah. As a matter of fact, I play them for a living."
"You get paid to play games!? THAT'S SO COOL!" He boasted. It actually made me feel warm inside despite all the craziness.
"Yeah! And he's good at them too!" That familiar voice sounded again right behind me. This time, it didn't make me jump as high.
"DAAAH! JESUS BALLS LADY! CAN YOU NOT!?" I ran behind the brown filly. "WHY ARE THEY BOTH HERE!?" Rainbow Dash was next to Pinkie Pie as well.
"Hi Pinkie! Hi Rainbow Dash!" The brown colt greeted them.
"How's it going, squirt?" Rainbow rubbed his head.
"Wait, what?" I was confused. Usually a touch from Rainbow Dash would instantly kill you...or at least send you to this one weird place.
"Heeheehehe. Silly Mark. We're not in an actual game." Pinkie responded as if she knew what I was thinking.
"Wait, you thought you were actually in a video game?" the colt retorted.
"...Maybe."
"How the hay were you led to believe that?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Well excuse me if I'm led to believe that talking candy colored horses is a normal!" I shouted back. All three of them just stared at me blankly.
"OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!! THAT'S RIGHT! I forgot to tell you Dash." Pinkie broke the silence. Then she whispered something to Rainbow Dash. Then they both kept whispering to each other. The brown colt and I just looked at each other.
"So, your name is Mark, right?"
"Yeah, my name is Mark. And you are...?"
"My name is Button Mash!" He stuck out his hoof to shake, at least I figured.
"Nice to meet you Button Ma-..." As I reached out to shake, a paused to see I didn't have a hand, instead I had a white hoof. I started to freak out. "...Oh god oh god oh god oh god Oh God Oh God OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!?!?" I looked at my body, my pony body. No wonder I had trouble walking, I was on all fours! How was I supposed to get used to this sight!? And yeah, I remember seeing the same hooves before, but I didn't really give much thought into them then. I was worried about being killed then! Button Mash backed up a bit. You should've seen the look on his face.
"Uh Pinkie? Mark's being weird." Button Mash backed up.
"Huh? Oh! He does that all the time. It's just who he is." Pinkie reassured.
"Does it have to do with the fact that he thinks talking ponies are weird...even if he is one?"
"Yeah, but don't worry, he should be used to it in a bit." That set me off big time. I was pissed and I wanted answers.
"PINKIE PIE!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME!? WHY AM I HERE!? WHY AM I A PONY!?!?"
"Well for starters, you're here cuz I brought you here from your world...with a little help from Twilight and Princess Luna. Second, your a pony cuz that's how Twilight made the spell. Plus, if ponies started to see a random human walking around, they'd get suspicious and would want to study them, especially a particular pony I know." She giggled.
"Why the hell did you bring me here!?"
"Didn't you read the letter?" The letter. That goddamn letter. Is that what this was all about? Is that why I'm here, cuz a fan wanted to see me!?
"Is that the only reason why I'm here!?"
"Yeah, no wait.......oh yeah. Yeah that's why your here." She smiled.
"WHOA WHOA WHOA, HOLD ON A SEC!" Button Mash interrupted. "Let me get this straight. Your not a pony, your a human from another world, and you were brought here by Pinkie so that she could get to meet you!?"
"As much as I wanna strangle her, yes. That's exactly what's going on." I answered.
"That...is....AWESOME!!!" Rainbow Dash chimed in. Button was also suprised.
"That is so cool!! What's it like being a human!? What do you eat? Does everyone play video games?" Button started asking tons of questions.
"Now wait, hold on! I still have more questions!" I rudely interrupted.
"We can head on over to Sugarcube corner to talk if you'd like." Pinkie suggested.
"Sugarcube what?"
"That's the bakery downtown. The place where you went to hide in the closet."
"Oh...yeah." I responded a little embarrassed.
"I was actually on my way there too! Can I come along!?" Button pleaded.
"Of course you can!" Pinkie announced.
"You guys go ahead. I'll go tell Twilight and Princess Luna the news." Rainbow Dash said as she spread her wings, which was weird cuz ponies aren't supposed to have wings. Pinkie and Button don't have wings, so what the hell?
"Okie Dashie! We'll be at Twilight's house soon!" Pinkie answered back as Rainbow flew off.
"Okay, quick question. How come she has wings and you two don't?" I asked.
"That's cuz we're earth ponies. Pegusi get to have the wings, and unicorns have horns, kinda like you." Pinkie answered. I just stood there, shocked, and I slowly lifted my hoof toward my face. I had a pony face. I had a fricken pony face! With the big ears and snout and everything. I still had my hair and my glasses thank god, but when I touched my forehead, all I could feel was a long pointy horn coming straight out of my forehead. That did it. That got me to scream so loud that I shook everything around me. I was a white unicorn in a pony world being guided by my new worst enemy, Pinkie Pie.
So far, everything has gone horribly wrong and I had idea what to do. All I knew at this point was that I was a pony trapped in a pony world. I even hit myself a few times on the way to Sugarcube Corner to try to wake myself up from this nightmare, but of course that only made my head hurt even more. It didn't even help when Button decided to go back and forth between me and Pinkie asking a whole bunch of questions about who I was, what humans do, how much I get paid, all that kind of stuff. Honestly, I can't even believe this little guy took everything so well. I mean, if some other character from another world came to earth, everyone would freak out. So I tried not to freak out myself for the same reason..only flipped. I also tried to be calm since there were ponies everywhere and I didn't want to embarrass myself even further. Some of them looked at me weirdly as if I was crazy or something. I certainly felt crazy, that much I can tell ya. There were also a few girl ponies who swooned as I walked past them cuz apparently I was actually pretty buff compared to the other colts in town...or maybe the furry chest hair might've had something to do with it, I don't know.
As I kept trying to restrain myself from making another scene, Pinkie kept answering Button's questions for me. The weird thing is she answered almost every one of his questions correctly. I mean, I know she's a fan of me, but I'm from another world. How the hell do you get information like that?
"Here we are!" Pinkie announced as we stopped in front of the same building I went to hide in. I didn't really notice it before, but it looked sort of like a gingerbread house on the outside. I was already getting tired of all this girly nonsense, so I let out a groan. Everything from talking candy-colored ponies to now gingerbread houses looked really disturbing to me, and now I was stuck in the middle of it all....well, shit.
Before we actually walked through the doors, Pinkie stopped to look at me. "Oh, and Mark, leave me to the talking." Well that wasn't a very nice thing to say.
"Why? What's wrong wi-ooooooohhhhh...." As we walked in, we saw a lot more ponies in the building than before. Probably cuz of that "incident" I had. Some of the more familiar ponies just stared at me remembering what happened. I felt a lot more nervous than before, but I tried to act natural...except how does a pony act natural? Everything was all so different from my world that I didn't think "normal" to me was "normal" to them. The only thing I focused on doing though was just to not make eye contact with anyone and follow Pinkie and Button to wherever they were going.
"Morning Pinkie! Are you enjoying your week off?" The pony behind the main desk called out. He was a tall earth pony with an orange coat.
"Morning Mr. Cake! I'm enjoying every bit of it, but of course not as much as I spend time with the Cake family." Pinkie replied. Mr. Cake, huh?
"Oh gosh Pinkie. You always know exactly what to say. And hello to you too Button Mash."
"Hi!" Button said as he looked over some of the cupcakes in the window.
"And who might this fine gentlecolt be?" Mr. Cake asked gesturing me.
"Oh, this is Mark, short for Markipony. He's here all the way from Fillydelfia to spend the week with me!" Pinkie answered pleasantly.
I pondered on the thought. I guess it would makes sense if we didn't want anyone to think I was a guy from another world. It was actually clever of Pinkie, but it also meant that that was my new identity that I had to get used to. Markipony from Fillydelfia huh? Alrighty then.
"Good morning Markipony, I'm Mr. Cake, owner of Sugarcube corner. Uh, along with my wife of course." Mr. Cake greeted me. He was a lot more polite than any of the other ponies I've come across so far. I had expected there to be ponies that weren't quite as civilized, so this surprised me a little. I wondered if there were more ponies like this guy.
"Hello Mr. Cake. Nice place you got here." I replied trying to give a good first impression.
"Thank you. Ponies come here every single day to either get together, have a party, or just to buy a goody or too. In fact, I don't know if you know it already, but Pinkie Pie here works here as well." He said as Pinkie smiled.
"I figured she might have something to do with cupcakes. With the bounciness and all." I replied a little bluntly. I was still mad at her, though I tried not to show it.
"I absolutely LOVE cupcakes! I make them every single day! And they're all different kinds of flavor! There's vanilla, chocolate, lemon, strawberry, apple, banana, orange, pear, apple pie, cinnamon, poppy seed, liver, magic, rainbow, sparkles..." Pinkie went on. Wait...did she just say she makes LIVER flavored cupcakes?
"She can be a hoofull, that's for sure. But we all love her. Always caring, always laughing, and always making her friends smile." Mr. Cake said to me as Pinkie kept going. I looked at Pinkie and was a little creeped out.
"Yeah...always smiling..." I backed off a bit.
"OH OH OH!! I want that one!" I jumped at the sound of Button's voice ringing in my...huge ears.
"Perfect choice Button....here you are." Mr. Cake said as he pulled out the cupcake Button pointed to. It looked like a regular chocolate cupcake with a lot of frosting on top. No wonder these ponies looked somewhat fat.
"Thanks!!" Button announced as he dove into it.
"OH! And that reminds me!" Pinkie interrupted, "We need to go upstairs to talk for a bit. Can you make sure no pony else goes up there?" We certainly DO need to talk. I was already starting to lose patience with her!
"Sure thing Pinkie. You ponies have fun!" Mr. Cake said as we walked by him to the stairs.
"Thanks Mr. Cake! OH! And here!" Pinkie handed him some gold coins, really thick ones too. "For the cupcake." She reassured.
"Thank you Pinkie." He called back.
As soon as we got upstairs and into "Pinkie's room," I was ready to let out all my rage on this pink puff ball, except I noticed there was a mirror in the corner. I had to look at myself. Even though it was horrifying, I still wanted to see my face… and I was scared out of my mind when I saw myself. My body was all completely white, I was walking on all four hooves, I had a freaking tail!! And oh god, my face. My freaking pony face. I mean, I've seen some fan art of me as a pony ever since I played that one scp game, but this was the real thing! My hair looked alright, thank god, and I still had my glasses, THANK GOD. The ears, the snout, and the horn were the most disturbing. I wondered how other ponies saw me as. Am I still my dashingly handsome and strong self? Am I an ugly pony? I had no idea!
"How in the hell did I even turn into a freaking pony!?" I asked out loud.
"You're gonna have to ask Twilight about that one. She's the one who made the spell." Pinkie's voice rang out. I forgot she was here too.
I ran straight up to her face and shouted, "How the hell do I get out of here!?"
"Why would you want to leave? You just got here!" Pinkie answered.
"Because I wanna go back to my apartment! I've practically been kidnapped by you! How do you even know me!? How the hell did I even get here in the first place!? I just wanna go home!"
"Well first off, you can't really swear in front of everypony anymore since that would lead to disharmony. Second, I know you through the internet silly!"
"Dishar- dis- What?"
"Disharmony. We ponies rely mostly on harmony itself, and if disharmony starts to rise, then bad things happen. That's why Twilight, Dashie, AJ, Rarity, Fluttershy and I get to see everything and be part of amazing adventures. We all represent an element of harmony. and I get to represent the element of laughter!!" I backed up a bit.
"Element of what now?"
"Elements of harmony! There are 6 of them. Generosity, honesty, laughter, kindness, loyalty, and magic! Even though we don't really have them at the moment, they're basically what brought me and my friends all together. In fact, it all began when Twilight first came into Ponyville...well actually it had something to do with our cutie marks. We got them all at the same time!"
"Cutie marks?"
"Those are marks on our flanks that symbolize who we are and what makes each of us so special. Like mine for example." She turned 90 degrees to show her butt. There were those balloons again. The same ones that were on the envelope. "The balloons represent how I'm good at planning parties 24/7. And I know you can guess what yours represents." She pointed to my butt. I looked at it and sure enough, there was that familiar, pix-elated M with a pink mustache. I've used that symbol on my channel for as long as I can remember. It basically represented me, Markiplier, and my love of gaming.
"Whoa! That's really cool!" Button came up to look at it. I forgot he was also here too. I noticed his butt was just brown, like his coat.
"How come Button doesn't have one?" I asked.
"Ponies aren't born with cutie marks. You have to find out what makes you special to actually get one." Pinkie answered.
"Yeah. Some ponies at my school really want to get them as fast as I can, like Sweetie Bell and her friends. As for me, I don't really care much about getting a cutie mark. Just hand me my Joy Boy and I'll be good." Button reassured. I guessed Joy Boy is just the pony version of a Game Boy. "But you're a real gamer! You could teach me everything! We might even be able to have a face off!" He went on.
"Whoa, slow down Button. I still have more questions to ask, like how the hell..I mean, how the heck did I get here and how do I get back?"
"You're gonna have to ask Twilight about that one. I mean, I know I was part of making the spell, but I'm not as smart as Twilight to figure it all out."
"That's another thing. Who the he- the heck is this Twilight person? You keep mentioning the name like she's so important."
"Twilight Sparkle is actually a very important pony, and she's one of my bestest best friends ever! She's a really smart pony, she represents the element of magic, and now she's a princess! She actually did the most work of bringing you here, making the spell and all that."
"Well then why don't we go see her so she can send me back!"
"Aww, but you just got here!"
"I don't care, I wanna get back! I don't want my fans to get suspicious if I don't post anything soon!"
"But.. I brought you here so we can spend time together.." Her ears dropped.
"Pinkie, there's this thing called, "not holding people against their will to see another person." If you do that, it's called kidnapping. That's what you did to me, in fact, you did worse than that. You forced me to be in a body of which I'm not used to being in! That's not normal Pinkie, nor is it any fun! I wanna go home and return to my original body and I want it done NOW!" I stomped, practically looming over her.
"Oh...I'm sorry...I didn't know you would take all this seriously..." Her eyes started to tear up as she looked down and I noticed her hair kinda lost its curl. The look on her face made me feel so bad. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I was just homesick and I didn't like the fact I was a pony. I backed up to give her some room. She must've been the saddest pony I have ever seen thus far, and she was always so cheerful, so it made me feel even more like a jerk. I looked at Button, who just looked at me with a somewhat scared look on his face. Maybe I used too much force. I hope I didn't disturb anyone downstairs. I wanted to comfort Pinkie.
"...Look, Pinkie. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just...I just wanna go home." That was all I could say.
"It's..it's alright. It's probably for the best anyway. I'll..take you to Twilight now if you want." She started walking towards the door. God, that made me feel like a bitch. I would never want to hurt a fan, more-so even hurt their feelings. Sure, I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to see a fan like Pinkie feel so sad just cuz they fucked up.
"Uh...Pinkie?" I started. She stopped, but didn't turn her head. "I...y-you wouldn't mind if we...take our time getting to Twilight, would you?" He ears perked up and she looked at me with a smile on her face.
"WOULD I!?" She hugged me.
"...would you?" I joked.
"Would I?"
"Would you?"
"Would I?"
"Would I?"
"Would you?"
"Would I?"
"Would you?"
"No, I wouldn't mind at all. Thanks for asking." I cleverly responded. We both laughed as we walked out the door. "You coming Button?" I called out...but there was no response. "Button?" I went back to look at Button. He was just standing there frozen with a surprised yet scared look on his face. "You alright there buddy?"
"...You just." He started.
"Yeah, I know. Sorry about that."
"No, no. Not that." I looked at him, puzzled. Were we talking about the same thing? "There was a...you were...never mind. Let's go." He walked quickly past me toward the stairs where Pinkie was standing. There was a what? I was what? Yes, I was mad, but is that what he meant.
"...Alrighty then." I decided I'll worry about it later. Right now I was gonna spend time with a fan.
Keep calm and press B to blow
After we walked out of Sugarcube corner, Button decided to rush home to grab some gaming devices for us to play with. Meanwhile, Pinkie and I traveled around town for a bit.
"We should go see Applejack, or Rarity, or Fluttershy! OOH! Maybe we should ask Dashie to have fun with us! She's always enjoyed spending the day with her friends, and she's very loyal to them too! That's why she's the element of loyalty! And she does amazing, spectacular, wonderific tricks! Ever since she got accepted into the Wonderbolt academy, she's been practicing her moves every day! She's gonna become a real Wonderbolt for sure now! She even passed a written test on the history of the Wonderbolts, thanks to all of us of course. I still think my rap might've helped more though, I mean, learning stuff through song is a great way to learn! It get's you into the grove of things. Speaking of music, did you know Fluttershy has a really sweet voice, especially when she sings? She's not into crowds for some reason, so we can't really see her use her singing talent to perform. Except that one time when she changed her voice to sound like dude so she could sub in for Big Macintosh. Speaking of apples, Applejack is the most dependable out of all of us here in Ponyville, and I think you might like her since you two have so much in common. She's got a really big family, and I might be part of it! Can you believe that!? I think that out of all of the Apples, Applebloom might be the most excited about me being a relative..." She just went on and on.
"Uh, Pinkie? I know your having fun talking about your friends and everything, but I have to ask. Where are we even going?" I asked. Even though I was trying hard to listen to everything she had to say, I still noticed that we were just walking in a circle around a fountain of what looked like downtown.
"Oh, right. Uh, we are going to...Rarity's house! That's it! We're going to the Carousel Boutique to see Rarity! She makes amazing clothing and I thought you might wanna take a look." She offered.
"Alrighty then. Lead the way."
"THIS WAY!" She sang, as she trotted off.
As I started to follow, I saw something at the corner of my eye. It made me stop and look at the direction it was coming from, but as I turned to look, it was gone. The only thing I could make out of it was a black cloak. Must've been another traveler or something.
Once I caught up to Pinkie, we stood in front of a much taller building with a bunch of mannequins in the windows. I took one good look at the fancy place and shivered. And I swear I saw a couple of them turn their dead heads to stare at me.
"What's wrong?" Pinkie asked.
"...Mannequins." was all I could say. I do NOT have a good past with them. In fact, they were like one of my hated enemies as of now.
"...What about them? They're just used for dress-making."
"I know that, it's just...well you know." At least I thought she knew since she is a fan of me.
"OOOOH! Right! Well maybe if we go in, it won't be so bad!" Pinkie knocked on the door, then just went in like she was invited. These ponies have weird ways of living. "RARITY! You home!? It's Pinkie Pie!" She announced.
"I'll be down in just a minute Pinkie." Another voice was heard at the top of the stairs. A rather sophisticated voice at that. Oh great, a snooty pony. I decided I'd better be careful at what I say in front of this one.
As she took her long ass time to get down from upstairs, I looked around for entertainment. There were pony dresses on mannequins everywhere, and I'm not gonna lie, they did look pretty. But that didn't necessarily mean that I liked them! I mean yeah, they'd probably look good on horses and everything, but...well you know.
"Hi!" A squeaky voice greeted and made me jump. What is with all these ponies making me jump every time they say hi? This was a new voice though, and it came from a new pony. A smaller pony, about Button's size, and she was a white unicorn like me. "I'm Sweetie Bell! What's your name?" The little filly greeted.
"Oh hi! My name is Markipl-pony." I replied. I almost forgot I had a new identity now. Markipony from Fillydelfia, got it. "You startled me a bit."
"Yeah, I tend to do that a lot, but I try not too. I just like meeting new ponies." She settled.
"Well ain't you just adorable." I complimented, rubbing her head. She has got to be the cutest pony I have ever seen...not that the cuteness was getting to me...at least not that much...don't doubt me.
"Thanks! Are you here to buy a dress for a special somepony?" She asked eagerly. Special somepony? Does she mean a girlfriend? That's kind of quick to judge.
"N-no, not really. I just followed Pinkie here." I pointed to Pinkie who was patiently waiting for...Rarity was it?
"Oh! Okay! In that case I'll just keep drawing." She walked back to a small table in the corner. It had a couple crayons and a half finished art piece...if you can call it that.
"Whatcha drawing?" I followed her trying to find better entertainment. I mean yeah, the dresses were nice, but it's not really my thing.
"It's a picture of me and one of my best friends playing a game together. It's not really finished, but you can kind of make out what it is." She showed it to me. It was a pic of her and Button playing a sort of block game. It looked a lot like minecraft to me, but I didn't know if it was the same to ponies.
"Hey, I know that pony. That's Button Mash, isn't it?" I pointed out.
"Yeah it is! How did you know?"
"I met him not too long ago near the outside of town. We found out that we both like games a lot, so he went back to his place to grab a game or two so we can play."
"You play games too!? That is so neat! I'm not much of a gamer myself, but I love playing minecraft with him." So it IS the same. Well that makes things easier. "Hey! Maybe I can play with you guys. I don't really have a cutie mark crusader meeting today and Button is one of my good friends, and I hope you don't mind Mr. Markipony."
"Sure, you can play with us. That is, if Pinkie.."
"WOW RARITY! You look AMAZING!" Pinkie shouted. I looked to see another white unicorn in a nice looking dress.
"Why thank you Pinkie Pie. It's for when I travel to Canterlot next week for an interview." Rarity remarked.
"OH OH OH OH OH! I helped to make it!" Sweetie Bell raised her hoof. Rarity turned to look at her, but met my eyes as well.
"Oh my, a customer! Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is neat and magnifique!" She walked down the stairs. Oh boy, here we go. "How may I help you?"
"Rarity, this is Markipony. He's spending his time here in Ponyville for the week, and he came in with me." Pinkie introduced me.
"Oh! Well nice to meet you dear Markipony. As you might have heard, my name is Rarity." She bowed.
"Uh...hi. Umm..." I started to sweat. What was I supposed to say? "I..really like your...dress! You're dress looks nice! In fact all these dresses look nice."
"Why thank you darling. I made them myself."
"All of them?" There were a lot of them. How in the hell does a pony even make all these dresses when they don't even have thumbs?
"Yes. I know it does look like a lot of hard work, but I enjoy creating dresses and I get plenty of support to make every single one and more." Well that was all good and everything, but still.
"Hey Rarity, can I talk to you for a sec?" Pinkie chimed in.
"Oh, of course. Excuse me." She walked to Pinkie. She actually wasn't all that bad from the start, at least not as "fancy" as anyone else you'd expect them to be. She was actually calm and welcoming and not so cliche. Maybe there was more to this pony than what meets the eye.
"I wish I was like my sister." Sweetie Bell said next to me. "She always so generous and pretty. Well, maybe not always."
"Yeah..." I kept looking at Rarity for some reason.
"...Somepony's got a crush." Sweetie nudged me trying to be clever.
"Okay, first off, I do NOT have a crush on her! I just like her...mane!" I tried to find a good excuse. I swear I didn't have any sort of crush on her!
"I thought you liked her dress."
"That too!" I replied, a little annoyed.
"Well anyway, how long have you played games?" Sweetie changed the subject, which was a good thing since gaming was basically the only thing I COULD talk about.
"Oh, I've been playing video games ever since I was little actually. My brother and I always had a gaming device that we would play on during our spare time, which was practically ALL the time."
"Do you have any favorites?"
"I have a lot of favorites actually, minecraft being one of them. There's also Amnesia, Slender, Gmod, SCP, Five Night's at Freddy's, Among the Sleep, and a bunch of other games I can't really name off the top of my head."
"I..don't think I've ever heard of those games before." Oh shoot! I think I went a little too far. I didn't want to blow my cover.
"Uh...they're hard to find." I tried to cover my cover back up again. (Cover my cover, that's fun to say.)
"Oh, well what about Dungeon Nightmares? I think that's a good game, despite it being scary." Ah yes. The ol' "B to blow" game. I remember playing that game like it was yesterday.
"Yep, that's a good one too. The tension in that game gives you a sense of dread in a way that keeps you going."
"Oh, so your one of those analysis ponies!"
"A what now?"
"Oh Sweetie Bell! Could you be a dear and come here for a moment? I have something I need you to do for me." Rarity called back to us.
"Coming! It was nice talking to you Mark!" Sweetie called back to me as ran to Rarity.
"Time to go!" Pinkie bounced to me.
"Wait, what? Why? Didn't we just get here?"
"We have to go see Applejack. She has a few things we need."
"Why? What do we need and for what?"
"Just trust me. You'll thank me later." Pinkie bounded toward the door. "At least that's what the author told me."
"Author? Wait, PINKIE!" She was already out the door. The hell was this pony's problem?
Once I caught up with her, again, we stood in front of an apple orchard with a sign in front of a big barn that read "Sweet Apple Acres." It looked promising, and a bit delicious. In fact, that was about the time I started getting hungry. I forgot I didn't even have breakfast yet, and now it was getting close to lunch time.
"APPLEJACK! You in here!?" Pinkie yelled at the door while knocking. I swear, this pony's got some issues if she thinks this is a good way to be a guest. Then again, she's practically knows everyone.
"Houdy Pinkie! What can ah do ya for?" An orangish pony opened the barn door. A hill-billy pony, huh? This should be good.
"We need some things to take back to Twilight. Can you help us out?" Pinkie asked.
"We?" Applejack responded. Pinkie pointed at me and I met eyes with Applejack. Since I stood from a distance away from the door, I waved as a way of saying hi. "Oh! Sure thing sugercube. Come on in! Granny's makin' some special, home-made apple pie for the family. And ya know how much she likes company." She welcomed.
The barn from the outside didn't look anything like a barn on the inside. This barn looked more like a house instead of a room full of hay laying everywhere. I didn't mind it though. It was a pretty nice house after all. Nothing too fancy, nothing too childish, just the right kind for my taste.
"Hiya Pinkie!" A smaller pony called out. She was about Sweetie and Button's size with a pink bow to add to the cuteness. Although, I still thought Sweetie looked cuter.
"Hi Applebloom! I heard Granny Smith was making some yummy apple pie." Pinkie replied. As I walked more into the house, I could definitely smell something was cooking in the kitchen, and man did it smell good!
"It definitely smells like it." I added sniffing the air.
"Who's this here friend o' yours, Pinkie?" Applejack asked behind me.
"Oh, this is Markipony. He's staying in Ponyville for a couple of days. He says he wanted to meet Twilight for something, but since I bumped into him first, I'm treating him to lunch while showing him around town." Pinkie introduced again.
"Whell houdy do Mark. I'm Applejack, we here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!" Applejack violently shook my hoof.
"Frie-en-nds? Actually-y-y, I.." I tried to speak.
"Ah'm Applebloom, and if it's lunch ya need, we've got the best apple's in Equestria. Ponies come here worldwide just to get a taste of our apples! Care to try some?" The little filly greeted as Applejack let go of my hoof, even though I was still shaking a bit. I'll never understand these ponies ways of greeting guests.
"Well, that does sound nice but I.." I started.
"GRANNY! WE GOT GUESTS!" Applebloom shouted toward the kitchen. Jesus, these guys were rude as hell.
"Oh, is it one of ma dear cousins from Appleoosa? Ah been expecting one o' them to show up." and older pony voice called back. That must've been Granny Smith.
"Nah, it's just Pinkie an' another pony from outta town!" Applebloom replied.
"Whell where they from anyway?" Applebloom looked at me.
"Fillydelfia." I remembered this time.
"He says he's from Fillydelfia!" the filly called back to Granny. Jeez kid, just go into the kitchen and talk to her.
"Whell that's nice. Could ya get in here and help me with this here uh, thingy?"
"Sure, Imma comin!" She ran into the kitchen. Ya know, compared to the other fillies I've seen today, she's got to be either the most rude or the most energetic.
"She's nothing like Sweetie Bell at all." I said out loud.
"Yeah, she can be a hoofull, but we love her." Applejack replied. "Ain't that right, Big Mac?" I turned to see a much bigger pony just walking into the room. He was probably bigger than I was, but of course didn't mean he was stronger than me!
"Eyup." was all he said.
"So you came here all the way from Fillydelfia to see the new princess of Ponyville, ain't that right?" AJ asked me.
"Uh, yeah I guess." Was she talking about Twilight?
"Boy houdy, ah remember the first time I met Twilight." Okay, good. She WAS talking about Twilight. "Feels like only yesterday we were saving Princess Luna from being Nightmare Moon." Whoa hey. That name sounded familiar.
"Princess Luna?"
"Yeah, she used to think everypony wasn't payin enough attention to her, so she turned into Nightmare Moon to get her own way. But then she was banished to the moon for a while, then she came back, and then we helped to get the princess back." Well this was new. I was actually interested in this story.
"How exactly did she turn into...Nightmare Moon was it?" I asked.
"Yeah, Nightmare Moon. Ah don't exactly know how it happened, but Twilight said there was this black magic of some kind that took over her body and mind. Scary stuff, ah know." ...okay, now it was starting to feel a little too familiar, but in a different way. I certain way I've experienced. I couldn't quite remember what it was though.
"OH! That reminds me! Can I talk to you for a sec AJ?" Pinkie chimed in.
"Sure thing Pinkie." AJ walked to Pinkie. I started getting the feeling that Pinkie wasn't telling me something cuz whoever we'd meet with, Pinkie would talk to them privately. But anyway, I was left alone to talk to AJ's brother for a bit since Applebloom and Granny Smith were still in the kitchen.
"...It's a nice place you got here." I just stood by him awkwardly.
"Eyup."
"...You must be the big brother of the fam, huh?"
"Eyup."
"...Do you...mostly take care of the fam or do your parents...?"
"...Our parents are long gone, never gonna see 'em again." Oh crap, wrong question.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to.."
"It's alright. We've all gotten along just fine without em. But we still miss them both." Wait, BOTH!?
"I-I'm so sorry..." I hung my head.
"Yeah well you're lucky. Just be glad you have both." That actually wasn't true.
"...One." He looked at me. "My dad died of cancer when I was young...and throughout most of my life, I've lived with my step-mom..." I felt his hoof touch my back.
"Then ah guess there's one thing we can both agree on." I looked at him. "Families keep ya going."
"Yeah...yeah they do."
"SOUP'S ON EVERYPONY!" Granny's voice called out to all of us as she brought out some apple pies. Applebloom followed with some plates.
"OOOH! That looks SO GOOD Granny Smith!” Pinkie squealed. I’m not gonna lie, the pie DID look amazing, and I could already feel my mouth watering. She started to reach out for a plate when Granny stopped her.
“Now Pinkie, ah know you’ve been a guest here many times before, but now we have a new guest from outta town. Ah think we should give him the first share.”
“Oh, thanks Mrs. Smith.” My ears perked up (I have no idea how, but they did).
“Just call me Granny, sonny.” She handed me a slice. I took off my glasses, sat down, and just dove right into the pie, I was so hungry that I even forgot MY manners. And also because I couldn’t really eat anything like a normal person since I now just had stubs instead of fingers. In fact, some of the Apples just sort of looked at me like I hadn’t eaten in days. But it. Was. DELICIOUS! I had never tasted something so awesome since the Fourth of July! And it wasn’t like any other apple pie I’ve ever tasted either. This one was like...GOOD pie!...Okay, it’s hard to explain it, but it tasted really good. I mean despite the ponies bad manners and all, the food here was great!
After everyone ate, Pinkie and Applejack ran outside to get some quote one quote “supplies” for when Pinkie and I headed out on our way. I honestly still had no clue what we needed them for, I mean it’s not like we were going on a quest for stuff in order to like save the world and get me back to my world. How far does it even take to get to Twilight anyway? I would assume she lived in town too since she and Pinkie are close friends. But anyway, as I thanked Granny Smith for lunch, I walked outside to see Big Mac was already back to doing his thing harvesting apples. He seemed to have a hard time doing so cuz of how big and heavy his cart full of apples was. I decided to go and help him.
“Need some help?” I asked. He looked at me and smiled.
“Eyup.” He helped me put another harness on my back (I, now a horse, have to have horse things on me...good.) and we started walking toward the barn.
“This cart looked a little heavy for you to carry on your own, so I decided to come help, if that was alright with you.” I told him as we kept walking.
“Eyup.” He nodded. “Like ah always tell my sis. One pony plus hundreds of apples just doesn’t add up.” We laughed. I liked this guy. Strong, smart, and relatable, kinda like me.
After Bic Mac and I talked for a bit, Pinkie came back from the other side of the barn with a saddle full of…stuff I guess. Applejack followed her, and I could hear her say, “Ya sure he’s the one, Pinkie?”
“Of course silly filly! And don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Just meet me there in a few minutes.” Pinkie came bounding toward me as AJ slowly walked back to the barn.
“What was that all about?” I asked her.
“Oh nothing!” She kept bouncing toward the gate. Okay, now I know she’s knows something I don’t know. This didn’t seem like an actual day with a fan. It felt like a day meeting the friends of a fan. Plus, she kept talking to her friends about something she obviously doesn’t want me to know about. I decided to keep a close eye on her.
