Chapters Disclaimer: The only info about me that won't be true will be the info on how I got to Equestria. I don't own MLP: FIM and all other info about me will be true. What the ponies do or say will depend on how they normally behave.
Cold. It felt so cold. Just another day of school. 8th grade, it would be over in a few more years. In the beginning of that year, my best friend (who was also my childhood friend for 6 years) fell in love with a chick that I've been helping and asking out, and she loved him back. I'd been helping for a few months and been asking her out for nearly a year. She said no every time. For you all to know, I am nearly six feet tall, with black hair (really it's a very dark brown but I go with it), am 14, weigh 200 lbs, have a beard that reaches an inch off my face, with emerald green eyes, and look like the average adult. I am Daniel. My best/childhood friend is Andrew, a blond who's 5' 9" with blue eyes. The girl was Alisse, she was pretty much the same but was somewhere in the low 5' zone, had lots of freckles, and had a small southern accent. ESPECIALLY on cuss words.
Anyways, back to the story.
Nearly a month ago, Alisse came to me about her problems. She was dealing with jealousy and envy. Andrew was being very shy even though he's a playful and devious guy. He was still acting normal with his friends and with another girl. She walked up to me, sat down next to me. She leaned into my shoulder and cried. I did all I could to comfort her, and it ended up reminding me of my worst memories that made me the same way as her right now or worse. This went on for twenty minutes until we had to go; but before she left, I hugged her and told her "Be safe". I know that was cliche' to a certain point but it was all I could think of at the time.
On December 11th, 2 days ago, she came to me again. She didn't cry for a while until she started talking about what was wrong. People were getting jealous of Alisse and Andrew, so they kept making up excuses as to force them to break up. She kept saying that the people were saying Andrew didn't love her. That was a lie. Alisse has asked Andrew but he never told her . He told me. I assured her that he was just too shy to say it. We just sat together, I let Alisse listen to her 'jam' for a while. Never thought it would be like that though. She cuts her wrist, marks of the cuts and the blood showing every time she feels bad and there is no one there for her. I don't want Alisse to get hurt, I wanted to save her from the Hell I was in that she thought was good for her.
Boy was she wrong, if she knew. She almost cried just reading a few of the basic tasks I've gone through. I'd had enough. I went through my general routine, pretend I'm fine, don't talk, when talking, give as short a phrase as possible.
One night, I reviewed the memories, the good and the bad. There were few good. I was given many things, whether I wanted them or not. But more has been taken away from me. When I was 8, my grandma died. That Summer, we visited her grave. My 3 year old brother didn't know what was happening so he was dancing and jumping on people's graves. Everyone except Eric and me were crying. I just looked at her grave thinking "She's dead...never gonna talk to her again, never gonna see her again...I can live with that ". I never really liked her, she was rarely playful, smoked a lot, and was always trying to make us act like the perfect family in a perfect world to fit into an oblivious society.
I have never cried since then. Tears have rarely come to my eyes, which to me, is the closest I'll ever get to crying. I looked out my window to the darkness where the moon would be. I really wished I could cry sometimes. I fell asleep thinking how the next day, I'd have another memory, most likely boring. Like nearly all my memories, the boring ones weren't good but weren't bad either. If it wasn't boring, it'd be bad. I haven't had a generally good memory since 5th grade...
I awoke the next morning to find myself in a strange room. It looked like some sort of mix between a hotel room, and a royal bedroom. I sat up, a lucid dream, huh? This is the third time... I reminisced about the times I had a lucid dream. The first time was just people chilling at my place while I chugged Coke (as in the soda you drug lovers). The second time was just some brief flashes about how I'd react differently if given a second chance at something. Just as I began to think why nothing was going on, the door opened and a strange 6 horses walked in. Scratch that. Two horses, two PEGASI, A UNICORN?! AND WHAT THE HELL WAS WITH THE HYBRID?!
The hybrid opened it's mouth, "Oh! You're awake." it spoke giddily. I fainted on the spot.
I woke up...again. I opened my eyes thinking FINALLY, that was one hell of a strange dre- until I noticed that the hybrid from earlier was curled up on the bed next to me, staring with huge magenta eyes straight into my soul. I did the one thing only I would do. I sat up, got off the bed and walked towards a wall. I pulled my head back and then forward, smashing my forehead against the wall. When I stood up straight, the wall had a dent and many cracks in it. Crap, usually when that happens I'm bleeding . After waiting a few moments, I thought again. Strange, how the fuck am I not bleeding? Whenever I was in school and I had a 'da fuq' moment (as I liked to call it), I would smash my head into a locker. It didn't hurt. In my school, the people who have met me, know me in two ways. One, the bearded kid. Two, the guy who can't feel pain. To be honest, I do feel pain. If it's physical, I ignore it. Don't ask how, I just do. If it's mental/emotional, I hide it and think about why I'm here until it's over.
"Umm, hey" the hybrid was talking again. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I'm the-"
"Element of Magic, one of the four Princesses of Equestria, and Princess of Friendship. Otherwise know as Ponyville's librarian." I finished for her, my slight amount of broniness showing. You heard me right, broniness. Got a problem? Well, she looked stunned. That's when what we just said clicked in my head.
"Oh MY GOD !" I screamed to the heavens as I fell backwards. Stuck on the floor, I just pointed at her saying, "Y-Y-Y-Y-You're...r-r-r-real?!"
"Yeah...and so are you, I think." Holy shit, I made this very awkward. "Umm, my name is Daniel" I bowed just to annoy her a little knowing she didn't like being bowed to. "Nice to meet you Princess Twilight." I had the biggest fucking grin that would make even Pinkie jealous. For me and my friends, it was a sign that shit was about to get real.
"Twi? Can we come in now?" A tomboy-ish voice sounded from the door. Rainbow Dash was my immediate thought. She was my favorite.Then came Twilight, then Applejack, next Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and finally Rarity. I hated fashion so much that I either wore all red, all grey, all white, or all black. Right now, it was all black. "Yeah" Twilight responded.
I saw the mane six walk in. I spoke up, curiosity getting the best of me. "Wait a minute, how the hell did I get here. Was I deserted in this world or just appear in this bed?" I had an arched eyebrow as I spoke. Rarity quickly yelled at me, ignoring my question, "Dear Celestia! What is with those foul colored garments?! You must come with me immediately!" She grabbed me with her magic and started dragging me towards the door until a familiar two Alicorns walked in. I bowed right away, along with the others (except Twilight). Celestia just watched my movements suspiciously while Luna began speaking. "We have looked through thou mind while thou were asleep 'human', there is a darkness within thou. Not a magic kind of darkness, but a depressing one. It's as if thou see no ending, no happiness. Thou hath two choices. Redeem thyself with our help and maybe even the elements, or leave thy world."
The mane six stared at me in shock, and it was only then that I noticed. Me and Celestia were the same height and I towered over the other ponies by at least a foot. Snapping out of my ramblings, I answered. "Leave this world. Please just send me to Tartarus or worse. It doesn't matter anymore. Where I'm from, I only had one task left to do. With me being here, I can't complete that task. I have no point in living right now so might as well use it Princess Luna." They were all shocked that I knew her name...except for Luna. Celestia was holding back the desire to ask thousands of questions but only one word came out of her mouth. "...How?"
I didn't feel the need to tell them anything so I used the best excuse ever on Earth, and it worked better here. "Maaaaagiiiiiic." As I said it, I moved my hands to form an imaginary rainbow. As soon as they all stared at as if asking what kind, I jumped back on the bed, landing on my ass. "So, when do I leave?" I asked Luna. I couldn't wait to finish what I started so many years ago. That was until I heard a remark. "I will send you soon, but answer this first. You have a memory that you kept repressed. I couldn't see it. What was it?"
Then Pinkie opened her mouth. Well shit, can't escape Pinkie . "Do a song too, pleeeeaaasse?" she asked giving my puppy dog eyes. "Fine." She couldn't respond, I already started on my story.
"It was 3 years ago, August 26th. I walked into a classroom. 'More boring people, at least I'll be able to have more friends' I thought. I walked around a little to get under terms with the new room, and right as I was about to walk out the door, someone walked in. A girl about my height, slightly developed into puberty, blonde, blue eyes, smooth skin, and the voice of a fucking angel. I couldn't believe it. I blushed and felt my heart rate quicken. I barely talked to her throughout the year. She didn't like me, but she didn't hate me either so I still had a chance. Her name was Annabelle.
Sometime in March though, her best/childhood friend insulted me, my heritage, and everything I knew even though I was smarter than her and had the report card to prove it. This 'friend' was named Annaliese. she was a pale brunette with freckles and a light voice (like Pinkie's) that was a bit scratchy. With my short temper, I snapped. I cussed for the first time in my life. I cussed out that little snob. Hell, that was the one thing in my life that if I had a second chance with, I'd do it again. Annabelle showed up, and made it clear that she now hated me for that.
To this day, she doesn't know what that little whore said or did" I finished.
"That's without the details." They just stared at me wide eyed with their jaws on the floor. Pinkie was the first to speak up, "Annaliese was a big dumb meanie head!"
Before anyPONY else could make a deal out of it, I stated. "That's the past, I haven't seen any of them since 2 and a half years ago. I don't know if they're even around anymore"
There was another long silence with the mane six looking at me with pity and the princesses with sympathy. This pissed me of pretty quick. "I don't need pity and don't be all sympathetic. Things may not be perfect here on Equis but it surely is better than my world. Right Luna?" She looked at me and nodded. My world was like Tartarus to them. I'm not even kidding. "Now for the song"
"It's called Gave It All Away
(Here's the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojjP-rT0zWk)
I was met with an instant response from all eight of the ponies in the room. Even Fluttershy. "NO" God damn it. My eyes sharpened as I stood up and walked over to the balcony of the room. walked out and looked down. It looked to be a several hundred foot fall. For the first time in many years, I smiled. "Wha' are ya' smilin'?" I heard a familiar farm pony ask. "I'm smiling? Heh, at least it's not my fake smile to hide my emotions" I added with chuckle. I turned towards them and mouthed thank you as I used my basketball skills to do a fade away shot without the shooting. I jumped over the edge of the balcony and fell quickly. Finally, I can be at peace . I kept thinking that until I notice that a rainbow was approaching fast.
Shit, shit, shit, Shit, Shit, SHIT, SHIT, SHIIIT! It was Rainbow Dash. She was about to do a sonic rainboom so I tuned around and flattened my body so I was like a pencil with the tip about to break as it will smash against the desk. Or in this case, the stony ground. I knew it was too late for anything to save me so I turned towards Rainbow and said a few words.
"Dash, thank you"...then I mouthed my last words Love ya , which her eyes widened at showing me that she understood what I said. Right before I hit the ground, I swear I saw a tear on her face.
Another memory flashed before my eyes. I was 4. There was a playground next to my house. There were a couple of swing-sets, a ladder, and a slide. My older brother who was 10 at the time, stopped me from climbing the ladder when I just wanted to slide down the slide. I did the only thing I could think of, I ran up the slide. When I got to the top, my brother shoved me off, making me fall 6 ft onto my arm, dislocating it. To feel the pain of knowing that even the people you love most in the world would hurt you, that is what I felt.
All that was next was darkness.
Darkness. Nothing but, except for a strange light in the distance. With curiosity, I walked over to it. What's going on...is this the gate to Heaven? No, I don't belong there. Then...is this the way to Hell? Doesn't look like that either. Where the fuck am I? I thought.
The light disappeared, and my sight began to fade into something else.
"I think he's waking up" said a female voice. At first, I thought this was my teacher and I had a nightmare while sleeping in class...again. "Yeah, Yeah, I'm up" I said. I opened my eyes to see the mane six and the princesses sitting down, two royal guards at the door (one being Shining Armor), and Nurse Redheart next to me. Well shit...didn't expect that to be real, oh fuck... I thought as I remembered how peaceful Equestria was how they rarely deal with death, much less, murder. I had just tried suicide in a world where the dark was the scariest thing in the world. (Best sarcasm ever :P)
I signaled Nurse Redheart to get me a mirror. Once I picked it up, relief washed over me when I saw that my beard was fine. Luna saw right through this. "Why do you care so much about your beard?" Then she started shouting. "AND WHY DID YOU JUMP OFF THE BALCONY?! YOU COULD'VE KILLED YOURSELF!" I stood silent for a moment, in which Celestia was about to ask something else, so I answered. "My beard is what motivated me to give life another chance, that and a promise. I know I could've killed myself, I was trying to-" They all gasped and started whispering for a moment. "You done?" I asked. They nodded simply, as if the slightest noise would kill me. Phh, amateurs.
"I was trying to kill myself so I wouldn't have to live with it, this isn't the first time y'know. The worst part is...I always survive." They all stared at me like I was stupid until they remembered yesterday and, in sync, said, "Ohhh."
After that, there was an awkward silence that I would gladly have murdered for being there. I was about to rant on further in my head until Rainbow walked up to me. "Yesterday, before you hit the ground. You said something. Can you say that again? I didn't hear you..." She said. It was then that I noticed her blush and everything clicked. I shouted so loud that all of that side of Canterlot could hear me so that's a lie...is she...desperate? I nearly laughed at the thought. That was when I remembered that I mouthed those words and only said thanks. God damn it, and now I have to say it in front of the very ponies I just tried to take my own life in front of.
"I'll tell you later Rainbow. Right now, I want to talk with the Princesses." I said as my eyes sharpened into blades that could rip her apart if I had magic, or if the blades were real. The mane six just silently walked out, the last one out was Pinkie who had a deflated mane and from her face, I could tell she was more then sad. Well shit, you just ruined the lives of your favorite six beings in reality. I'll apologize...later , I thought. Now looking at the slightly aggravated Princess of the Night, I gave a death glare filled with nothing but killing intent. "You brought me into this world, didn't you Princess Luna. It was during the night, so I thought it was you." She hesitated a moment, then let out a sigh. "I saw the state thou were in while in your world and wanted to bring thou here to heal from tho-"
"-Nope" I interrupted. On Earth, interrupt a noble and you're dead or left to life in prison. Here, it didn't matter. With my temper though, I wouldn't give a shit either way. "Enough of your squabbling, if you can pull me out of this world, then you can put me back, right?" They had to, it was logic.
Celestia looked at me as if she had just lost someone close to her for good...not that she has. "I'm sorry Daniel, I should've sto-"
"Don't wanna hear it" I interrupted again. I used my basic knowledge about Equestria's history for a moment. That's when I face palmed. "Hey Princesses, where's Discord?"
They stared at me dumbfounded for a moment before screaming. What the hell is wrong with them? They don't normally act like this in the show! I thought to myself. "What's wrong with looking for Disc-"
"EVERYTHING!" Celestia interrupted. That bitch , I began to run through nicknames in my head. For now, they were "White Dick, Suns***" and other inappropriate names.
Before I could say anything, I heard the voice I'd never, EVER, want to hear in my life. "Auntie Celestia! Auntie Luna!" came the annoying voice of a snobbish Blueblood. If there was anything I couldn't stand more than myself, it was him.
"Yes Blueblood?" Luna asked as she took notice of my anger. "It was horrible! I asked a commoner to show me to a bathroom and she screamed. Then, I was chased by a dragonequus!"
I perked up at the last part and didn't give enough of a shit to remember he was extremely uptight about being noble. "What did it look like Blueblood?" I asked with fake kindness. He began speaking, "I don't speak with co-"
"If you're not gonna give an actual answer, then shut the fuck up. Noble my ass." I interrupted. "Gonna answer me Blueblood? Sometime today!" I told him again. He just pointed behind me whispering "like that".
When I turned around, I saw Discord with the same grin I wore before jumping off the balcony. "Wait a minute" I started, breaking up everything that was just happening. "If I'm in the hospital, why was Blueblood here?"
"You are in thy healing section of our palace Daniel." Luna answered. K then... I looked at Discord, "Hey Discord, you wanna have some fun ?" For the next few seconds, we stared at each other with demonic smiles. Discord snapped and everything went black.
If Discord knew what I was thinking, this could either be a really stupid prank that would help me have a good laugh, or end up throwing away my life. Probably the latter. When the surroundings were back, I looked around to see exactly what I wanted to see. A potato gun, in my hand. "Ready for some fun?" Discord asked.
I looked over to him to see that he was holding a cannon. Not a normal one though, but one you'd see at a circus that shoots people out of it. I got in screaming, "VENGENCE!" sarcastically.
I heard a boom and before I knew it, I was at least a couple hundred feet off the ground. I randomly shot potatoes all over the cities and towns I flew past, not falling one bit. Never had to reload either so fuck logic.
Right as I was nearing a certain city that I would love to drown in my potatoes, I hit something, it looked like nothing was there but thanks to experience from the show, I knew this was a force field. Screw Canterlot. I fell, not caring until Discord caught me while smiling devilishly.
"Discooord, what did you do?" I asked him, knowing that he did something. He disappeared, leaving a note in it's place. Picking it up, I began to read.
Turn Around
That was all it said, so I did just that. Only to see the mane six and the princesses covered in potatoes holding my potato gun in their magic that looks like it exploded.
"Oh crap" Before anything could see, I sprinted out of their, laughing my ass off the entire way. Mainly at Celestia's face. Imagine her face when she was dealing with Discord before his reformation, now imagine the same thing except triple the annoyance and anger. That's what you had now.
I swear that if it wasn't for the absence of logic in this world, I wouldn't have given it a chance. Where... I heard a voice say. Where...are you? It sounded so familiar. Could it be? "Alisse?"
I heard the sound of sobbing, Why, why did you have to die Daniel? WHY!? My brain stopped there. I was dead? No, I was teleported into Equestria...or was this all a dream that I'm having while in a coma. Hmm. Too lazy to decide.
Something clicked in my head. A suicidal that I helped every day , thought I was dead. She might actually die. Shit, shit, SHIT! I sprinted on a trail, I don't know how long I did. I saw the Everfree Forest, and ran straight in. There were a few timberwolves that started to surround me occasionally, so I let off my killing intent at them. It was much more than before, they actually collapsed unconscious.
I didn't care enough. I found myself at the Everfree Castle. If I appear in their new castle, I can disappear in their old one right? Maybe not, after all...nothing makes sense here. I saw a shadow creeping inside and slitted pupils on the eyes of the shadows. The eyes were so familiar..."Nightmare Moon?"
The shadow nodded, before taking a defensive stance. "I don't want to hurt you" I say. "I just want to go home and the other princesses refuse to let me. Can you help?" She bobs her head sideways.
"There's no helping it, she'll die. Speaking of which, why was I brought here when she is the one suffering right now. SHE NEEDS HELP!" With that, my killing intent rose to the point where anything in Equestria could feel it. I noticed a flicker in front of me but was too pissed off to do or say anything, until it flickered again, brighter. When the light faded, there was a short blonde girl that I recognized instantly. She opened her eyes to look at me. "Daniel? Is this a dream?" She asks, about to cry.
I hold her close, "No, it's real...Alisse"
After everything that had just happened, I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to go to bed.
Anyone would would they have gone through this. It would be both emotionally and physically tiring. While Alisse tried to make sense of what was happening, I kept seeing things about me and Alisse...that never happened. One was where she looked like she was ready to cry and was shivering in what appeared to be fear as she looked at me. It tore at my soul, at least, what was left of it.
"Daniel? Are you okay?" I heard from my side. I turned to face Alisse. Just looking at her made the feeling that much worse.
"I'm alright" I lied. I didn't want someone who had enough on their plate for now to worry about me. I began to wonder if this was the world's way of giving me a second chance until I heard a crack from behind Alisse.
"What the hell?!" A strange voice shouted. It also sounded familiar. I spoke my thoughts, "Andrew? That you? If this is some sick joke, I swear someone will be dead by the end of the night-"
"DANIEL!" Andrew shouted. He popped out of some shadows and hugged me while I flailed my arms wildly. I nearly screamed, "BRO, chill. This isn't some fucking yaoi fanfiction...I hope; DON'T GET ANY IDEAS ALISSE!"
Right after I shouted this, I noticed that she was gone and that the room had faded into a four-way intersection. Me and Andrew were on one-side waiting for the bus, the other three sides had nothing. I saw a figure in the distance that looked out of place in our world...it appeared to be black and green while shaped like an alicorn. The bus came and we got on. "I remember this, this was the day I was brought here...shit..," It took me a while to process what happened.
"WHAT THE FUCKING DUCK WAS CHYRSALIS DOING THERE!" By now, everything had gone black around me and I swear that my killing intent spiked again. Not as high as before, but still enough for anything in the area to feel. Andrew was still there though, reaching out to me. "Don't let go!" He yelled, I noticed that this was another situation that never happened before. I was hanging off a cliff with plains on top and stone spikes and a waterfall on the bottom.
I began to think to myself about how the hell I would even get into this situation since I never go anywhere near the edge of a high place. Another part of my mind screams, 'It's Equestria! SCREW LOGIC!' So that's exactly what I did. I let go, Andrew's face turned from one of worry and concern to one of shock and anger as he faded from view.
I saw an image of some drawn people that looked very simple. One was a woman with a spoon and some stuff on the spoon, and there was a baby. "Here comes the air plane," I heard. You could hear the sound of something big falling getting louder and louder. Next thing you knew, a plane had crushed them.
"Damn." I say. I couldn't believe that I was watching this; it wasn't what was happening that disturbed me. It was the fact that I remembered what this was from. "ASDF Movies..."
Enough references , I told myself. I need to get to the real-why is there a light? Oh GOD that shit's bright. Did I just rhyme? Whatever.
"I didn't think I'd give him a concussion Princess," I heard as I saw a purple pony in front of me and Discord in the back tied up with magic restraints. (How the hell do I know what those are)
I startled them as I spoke, "Jesus, I need an icebreaker, my breath smells like I sucked a dick. AND I DIDN'T!" The mane 6, Celestia, and Discord couldn't help but stare at me as if I was insane. "You can't give me that look when Discord's here, y'know." All they did was blink. "Back where we started, SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!" I shouted as the mane 6 flinched.
Talk about fast-paced. Celestia raised a hoof for my attention before saying, "Twilight knocked you out by focusing too hard on her grip on you with magic." I had looked like I didn't give a shit so all of the living things in a room began to grin nervously. I had put up a poker face as I promised that I would get my revenge on Twilight.
"Is there anything you want?" Twilight asked. "Sorry but I have to do this; first immortality, then the bitches." I Just had to make that reference as it always gets me in a good mood. Only one reference is better, I thought as I remembered Dragon Ball Z Abridged (Which I recommend you watch at least 10 episodes of) with Piccolo and Gohan: "DODGE!"
I looked up and noticed I shouted that last part aloud. "Dodge what?" Discord asked as he looked genuinely confused as to what I was talking about. Pinkie burst out laughing as I gave her a look that literally asked you 'what the fuck.'
"Good old references," she said while wiping a tear from her eye. My jaw dropped as I realized that not only was she 100% random (which I already knew), she was a mind-reader too. I stared at her in silence as I kept thinking one thing, 'I like pie' (Even though I don't). She just looked at me and said "What are you looking at? Is there something on my face?" I face-palmed. Then, she sprinted out the room and I barely heard her shout, "I LIKE PIE!" I face-palmed again as I added another name to my death list.
"Holy shit," I started, "I've had my mask back on this entire time. This means...IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER PRANK!!!"
The room faded around me to the point where I was in Discord's dimension. He popped up next to me saying, "What will it be this time?"
I gave him the biggest shit-eating grin that would make Pinkie's smile look like a frown.
