Chapters Prologue: The Tacowakening.
Equestria
Somewhere, sometime...Discord was taking a walk. Four taps sounded in his head. And again. And again. And again, this time with words.
Taco Tuesday . Discord smiled. If he obtained the Legendary Taconomicon of Taco Tuesday, he would rule the Tacoverse. And no one, could stop him.
Pinkie Pie was going over to Rainbow's house, with her cupcake that would knock her out. But she heard four taps in her head. She tilted her head.
"What the?" She asked herself. The sound repeated, again and again. Eventually, it had words.
Taco Tuesday . Pinkie smirked. If she obtained the legendary Taconomicon of Taco Tuesday, she would rule the Tacoverse. And no one, could stop her.
Earth?
Sonata Dusk was walking to the cafeteria, smiling. Once the Taconmoicon had evaded her...But not again. It was Taco Tuesday again. She would obtain the Legendary Taconmoicon of Taco Tuesday, and rule the Tacoverse. She knew she was not the only one to hear it. She had already made Pinkie pinkie-promise not to. But there were others. Others were approaching.
Discord approached the portal, but he paused. He saw pink hair on the ground. Pinkie had been here. Discord began shaking. Pinkie was known to the Draconequi as the only one who could beat their entire species in a prank war. And she was after the Taconomicon. But that would not stop him. He ran faster then Rainbow Dash could even hope to, smashing through the portal.
He saw the Taconomicon. He saw Pinkie Pie, and the ol' Siren, Sonata Dusk. They were approaching the line. He ran, a sonic taco-boom in his wake. Now he had to face the challenge...The trap that had killed thousands...
The line.
Pinkie had gotten there before the Draconequus, she knew that. A few seconds only, though.
She saw her old prank-nemesis, Sonata Dusk.
She ran as fast as she could, running to the trap..
The Line.
Sonata was the first Prank-God to get there. She had been training to survive The Line, searching every book for a way to survive. Nothing would stop her. Sonata Dusk, would rule the Taco-Verse.
"So..." Pinkie began. "How are you?"
"Fine. Fine." Discord replied.
"I'm good." Sonata said.
"Shouldn't everyone be screaming seeing you?" She asked Discord.
"Nah. I've been here before."
"...This is really boring."
"You're telling me." Sonata said.
"No, I'm telling both of you." Pinkie said.
"Hey, didn't you pinkie promise not to hunt the Taconomicon?" Sonata asked.
"That was this me. I'm the other me."
"Ohh."
"...So who's the Taco Guardian?" Discord asked.
"Granny Smith." Pinkie whispered. Everyone shuddered. The line took a step forwards.
"FINALLY! I mean, it takes 5 minutes for the line to take a step!" Discord growled.
"That's because the Taconomicon is so awe-inspiring you cant just stop looking at it." Pinkie replied.
"..Could this even be considered a story?" Sonata asked. We all shook our heads.
"Equis Ferus Callabus is just REALLY bored." Pinkie said.
Yes. Yes I am.
"And out of idea's!" Discord continued.
Now now now..
"And friendless!" Sonata finished.
OH FUCK YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT!?
Granny Smith growled. She grew horns and suddenly became Tirek. She walked over to Discord.
"DISCORD! YOU WILL NOT GET THE TACONOMICON! AS LONG AS I GUARD IT!"
"THIS ISN'T EVEN A-"
Creaaaak
"The fuck?" Pinkie asked.
"That would be the fourth wall breaking. We're putting it under too much strain! ABORT! ABORT!" Discord replied.
"Abortion! The fuck!?" Sonata asked.
"NO! I MEAN-" Discord exploded.
"WE'RE SORRY OH MERCIFUL GOD!" Pinkie screamed.
NO! FUCK YOU GUYS! AND FUCK THIS STORY! I MEAN IM JUST TYPING SOME FUCKING LETTERS NOW!
Discord reformed and grabbed the Taconomicon. Pinkie Pie bitchslapped him and ate him, then ate Sonata.
Pinkie looked through the fourth wall, destroying it with the might of the Taconomicon.
I AM GOD! NOT EVEN YOUR PATHETHIC TACO POWER CAN DEFEAT ME!
"BUT IT CAN!"
"DISCORD, WHO REPRESENTS THE ELEMENT OF: CHAOS!" Discord reformed and had the Chaos Element of Taco on his neck.
"SONATA, WHO REPRESENTS THE ELEMENT OF: AUTOTUNE!" Sonata reformed and had the Autotune element of Taco on her neck.
"AND I REPRESENT THE THIRD ELEMENT...THE ELEMENT OF...TACO!"
Their beams fused and punched me in the face, making me cry like a little bitch. Then I guess I was reformed and returned everything to normal? Is that what you want?
"YES!"
Fuck. But it was s-
"NO!"
...Fuck you guys.
"ONLY TWILIGHT CA-" Discord said. Everyone looked at him.
"TWILIGHT IS MINE!" Pinkie slapped him.
With the elements of Taco broken up, nothing could stop the mad keyboard-wielding author.
"SONNNN!?" The beast called. I shivered.
"MOM! I'M WRITING A STORY!"
"GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"
"FINE!"
I waved my hand, and typed on my keyboard that everything returned to normal. Then Pinkie and Discord learned to share, and has a threesome with Twilight.
The end.
"..What the fuck. Did I just fucking see." Princessble Celestia asked her sister.
"I think you saw a threesome...and a really bored god trying to get over his writers block." Vice Princessble Luna replied.
"...Was this even edited?"
"No. Not in the slightest."
"...Should we watch Discord and Pinkie bang Twilight?"
"Yeah. I'll get the camera."
And thus, the writers block was destroyed.
"HEY!" Discord screamed.
Oh..Yeah. I forgot. Heh. I made Pinkie eat you, didn't I?
"YEAH! THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT!?"
Well...you see... In the prologue, I had a Cupcakes reference...and then I decided: WHY THE FUCK NOT, LETS HAVE PINKIE EAT DISCORD!
"IT HURT!"
You can't feel anything. Your just some writing.
"That's mean."
My point still stands. You dont have feelings.
"...YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS!"
FUCK YOU!
"F-" Discord exploded.
So Discord was like: BITCH, FUCK THIS.
Then he became a human and jacked off to himself fucking Pinkie.
Then they remade the elements of taco, and fucked me sideways.
The end.
Leave me alone.
I'm only human.
"Your a horse!"
SHUT THE FUCK UP DERRIC, IT WAS AN EXPRESSION!
Sequel coming out soon. Me no longer work on this story. Sequel called
TACO TUESDAY
2
THE TACOING
Also, happy new years!
-SYA, The Horse.
Pinkie Pie and Discord magically teleported to Twilight's Castle.
"Pinkie! Discord! Where have you been? You've been missing for-" Twilight began.
"SHUT UP AND GET BACK TO SEX!" They screamed. Twilight tilted her head and they were suddenly in a bed.
Twilight opened her legs, which revealed her Tacohood. Then Di-
"WOAH WOAH WOAH, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!"
What?
"YOUR SERIOUSLY MAKING US HAVE A THREESOME!?"
Yeah...? What about it?
"THATS FUCKED UP DUDE! DO YOU SERIOUSLY-"
SHUT UP AND GET BACK TO TACO.
"NO! FUCK YOU! I DONT WANT TO TAKE PART IN THIS STORY ANYMORE!"
You mean, you don't want to Taco part in this story anymore.
"That was painful."
Fuck you, that was funny.
"No."
I WILL MAKE PINKIE PIE- Wait. While this has been going on, you've been fucking her, haven't you.
"Maybe?"
OH GOD DAMMNIT! NOW WHAT ARE MY READERS SUPPOSED TO CLOP OFF TO!?
"How about YOU fucking Twilight?"
NO! THAT'S JUST CREEPY!
Discord peeled off his skin, only to reveal that he was infact DISCORD, ELEMENT OF CHAOS! He put on his Element of Taco, and Sonata Dusk peeled off her skin, only to reveal that she was PINKIE PIE! Taco element of Taco!
Pinkie Pie peeled off her skin, revealing she was Pinkie Pie!
"Wait, how are there two of us?" Pinkie asked Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie #2 peeled off her skin, only to reveal she was actually Sonata Dusk!
"Uh sorry. Skin coat error."
"Oh."
"FUCKING HELL THATS CREEPY!"
The elements of taco became a...taco laser or something? I don't know, leave me alone.
I guess I became reformed (again) or some shit.
"SONNNN! IT'S BEDTIME!" I shuddered as she asked me to slumber.
MOM! I'M WRITING SOMETHING!
"OK HONEY, FIVE MORE MINUTES!"
With the beast having freed me from the curse of reformation, I began to fight against the Laser of Taco. I overwhelmed it, leaving me free to write another chapter.
"OH GOD NO! NOT ANOTHER CHAPTER OF HELL!"
Fuck yes.
Next time..
The elements of taco have been destroyed. Now, they need a the new elements of taco. Discord says he can remake them, but he needs something never found before...
Human semen.
