"Ooooh, my 'burp' stomach... Where the hay am I?" Rainbow Dash asked herself, she thought back on the last thing she remembered which was the window shattering in Twilight's house...

Flashback[/hr]

'shatter!'

"What was that?"

"I don't know, Rainbow, but go check it out." Twilight ordered, Rainbow went to investigate the noise and found Pinkie Pie violently twitching and ready to burst with energy.

"ANNY SAYS YOU'VE BEEN COCKBLOCKED!!"

"Pinkie!? I thought you were on your scavenger check!"

"ANNY JUMPED ME, MADE ME EAT A WHOLE BAG OF SUGAR, GO BEWM-BEWM!!"

"B-Boom-Boom!?"

Pinkie started to violently shake, then her pupils turned into a digital number five... then a four... then three...

"Rainbow, what's all that shou- Rainbow, hit the deck!!"

Twilight's order fell on deaf ears, for Rainbow was a deer caught in the headlights of a truck... that was about to explode... and was on fire. The world around Rainbow began to move in slow motion, and she couldn't move even an inch out of fear.

Two... A single thought ran through Rainbow's mind, it was her own words, 'Humans can't turn anything into a weapon... weapon... weapon...'

"Humans can... and, if needed, they will..." Rainbow told herself, reminded of how foolish she was to not heed Twilight's warning.

"LIGHT THE FUSES, BITCHES!! One... CAUSE I'M READY TO BLOOOW!!"

Zero

"Sonova Bi-" An explosion cut off Rainbow, making her black out...

End of Flashback[/hr]

"Oh, that's ri-... hrg!" Rainbow emptied her bowels of the raw batter that entered her during impact, once she got it all out of her system she crawled over and leaned against a nearby tree for some much needed support after straining her stomach. "Those... Those humans are... relentless, I should have listened to egghead in the first place..." Rainbow leaned her head over to the batter that she just threw-up and cringed. "I'll never be able to eat cookie-doe ice-cream ever again..." Rainbow eventually dosed off from fatigue, it was the dead of night anyway so she'd have to at some point.

"Anny, are you just gonna keep gawking at your treasure like it's Rainbow's toned flanks or what?"

"Yeah, sure man..."

"...Really? You don't even bat an eye?"

"Yeah... Wait, bat? As in something the mafia uses to 'bus' some skulls'?"

"You really haven't been paying attention have you?"

"Eh, afraid not, Fruit-cake. Humans are easily distracted by shiny things, it was an adaptation our ancestors picked up during cave-times when we went looking for spring water, back then we thought 'glistening equals water' since the surface of fresh water glistens naturally when exposed to sunlight, even from far away. Ever since then shiny things seem to take away our attention." Anon put the gem back in his chest and locked it back up, he hoisted it over his shoulder and fitted it to his back. "Another adaptation we picked up is to naturally block-out any kind of unwanted nagging but that only goes for the males of my species."

"Oh, hardy-har-har, can we just keep moving before we get caught?"

"Alright Fruit-cake, I'm going. Sheesh, it's usually Nightmare's job to tell me what to do..." Anon mumbled to himself, he stopped suddenly and turned to Pinkie. "Speaking of going, where the hell are we anyways?"

"My work place, of course. I needed to get some supplies from here like I told you I was doing." Pinkie reminded Anon, however his memory only drew blanks.

"I don't remember you saying anything like that." Anon said.

Pinkie gave Anon the 'are you kidding me?' look. "You were too busy staring at your gem to listen and I assumed you heard me, I honestly wonder how you humans made it this far."

Anon shrugged his shoulders in response. "Beats the hell outta me, Fruit-cake, but I'm not complaining!... Wait a second, why don't we just set up base in here?"

"Because, a place with preservable food is one of the first places they would look for you in. You need to use your head more, Anny." Anon rolled his eyes and simply started to bag items that he thought would help during this temporary pheramonal fallout, Pinkie may be missing a few screws but damn, she knows what she's doing when things get serious. As Anon was thinking to himself an idea entered his head and he started grabbing heavy things and bracing them against the door. "Anny, I told you we're not setting up a base here!"

"Work with me, Fruit-cake. I got an idea to throw off Twilight and her little gang! Now start barricading the entrances but leave one of them open." Pinkie nodded and pushed a large display case in front of the entrance, meanwhile Anon grabbed some sheets and use them to cover the windows and for some added decor he cut some holes into them with his knife to make them look worn down.

"So Anny, what's the plan your going with?"

"First we need to set up the bait, which will be the cake shop. I had a theory that if we made the place look bandit-y they'd suspect it to be inhabited and they would go and check the place out. We need to use this small window of time to gain access to some of the more desirable places that need to be picked clean of supplies." Anon explained.

"Where do you have in mind?"

"That's the question you need to answer, Fruit-cake. You know more about Ponyville than I do, so where do you think is the best place to raid?"

Pinkie rubbed her chin with her hoof in deep thought, she had a few places in mind but they really weren't worth the effort. Then an idea popped into her head that would definitely pay off! "Hey Anny, I know this may sound harsh but what about raiding the hospital? They have medical supplies and instant-food."

"A hospital... That's perfect! Alright Fruit-cake, here's what we're gonna do..."

"So let me make sure that I'm hearing this right. Anonymous, the sole male that's been able to evade all of my attempts of capture and was able to successfully attack us in our own turf resulting in us having no base, is currently hiding out in Sugar-cube Corner?"

"Um... yeah, that's what the surveyors reported. the shop has sheets covering the windows and the entrances are sealed shut from the inside. The place looks... bandit-y as described by the surveyors."

"Did it look worn down and rugged?" An unidentified voice questioned the mare.

"Yes? why do you ask?"

"So the human has already set-up his territory." A light green mare with hazel eyes and a lyre for a cutie-mark stepped out of the crowd, twas none other than Lyra Heartstrings, infamous town nut who believed in the legendary humans and studied them in common folklore and stories. In case you were wondering, yes she rubbed it in everypony's face when Anon first came to town. "By the way, Twilight, your little lecture on the human's key points was pretty much spot on, but you left some key facts out. Like how the human has a more advanced digestive track that allows it to consume both plants and meat or the fact that legends say that humans are completely immune to high-level level spells, but can be affected by lower level spells such as telekinesis or low-level illusion spells. Not to mention you left out one of the human's strongest weapons, his hands."

"What's so threatening about his hands? Dragons and Diamond Dogs have them." Twilight pointed out, but Lyra simply shook her head.

"Human hands are far different than dragon claws or diamond dog paws, for one they don't have pointed fingers and instead they are blunt and soft. This isn't a downside, but rather a strength, if a human were to scratch you in just the right places with these magnificent tools you would be at his mercy." Lyra said with an intimidating tone.

Twilight didn't understand the logic behind this, and her face showed it. "Sooo, what's so bad about him scratching us? You said his fingers were blunt-tipped so they shouldn't be harmful, right?"

"When a human scratches you in the right place, you'll be consumed by feelings of relief that constantly drain your will to fight. Then once your guard is at it's lowest, they'll strike with the infamous tickle-torture!"

"... Are you serious? Tickle-torture?"

"Heed my warnings, Twilight. You don't know evil until you've had a taste of a human's touch!"

Twilight rolled her eyes and turned to the crowd. "Everypony get ready, we're going after the human!"

"You see anything, Fruit-cake?"

"Hmm... Yep, they're coming, and they're not far from here." Pinkie was equipped with a long cloak and a black, latex ninja suit. from behind she looked unrecognizable just as Anon wanted.

"Perfect, now I'm going on ahead through the back window. When someone enters via. teleporting or breaking down the door you bust through the window and lead them away from me." Anon explained.

"Okie-Dokie-Lokie, you can count on me!"

Twilight was pressing her ear against the door, hearing every word of Anon's plan. "So your trying to throw us off, huh? Clever, but it won't work." Twilight motioned everyone over to her. "Alright everypony, I'm gonna draw the human out. If you see a figure bust out of the window ignore it, it's a diversion set-up by Anon to throw us off." Twilight used her magic to blast the doors open and right on que a cloaked figure jumped out of the window and ran off, the mares ignored it and instead went to the back of the shop where they saw another cloaked figure jumping out of the window and taking off. "Don't let him get away!" The mares went out the back door and followed in hot pursuit, a few pegasi tackled the figure into submission and then gave questioning looks.

"Um, Twilight? Do humans run on four legs?"

Twilight raised a brow and removed the cloak, and gasped when she saw Pinkie Pie instead of Anon. "Pinkie!? But... you... where is the human!?"

"Anny knew you would ease-drop on our plan, so we switched rolls! Pretty clever, huh?"

"B-but if your here, then..." Twilight put the pieces together in her head, then she started to seethe with anger. "He... Ran right past me, in plain sight..."

"CURSE YOU ANONYMOOOUUS!!"

"Huh?" Anon looked back to hear Twilight's shouting in the far distance. Anon chuckled to see his plan was a success.

"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME FOREVER! DO YOU HEAR ME!?"

"Ehehe, just try and stop me, book worm." Anon said to himself as he entered the hospital doors with a half-smile on his face. Once inside he pulled out a walkie-talkie and spoke. "Hey Fruit-cake, I'm at the rendezvous point and awaiting your report."

"Hey Anny, I was able to drive them away from you and give them the slip! Where are we meeting at, again?"

"Don't you remember Fruit-cake? After I raid the hospital you and me meet-up at the apple-farm! Honestly, I sometimes wonder what goes through your head and what doesn't, anyway I'll see you then." Anon's end of the line buzzed out, Twilight pressed the button down and spoke in Pinkie's voice "I'll see you there... Anny."

"Mmhmfmh!"

"Hush you! You betrayed us, so you no longer have the privelage to speak!" With Pinkie bound in rope and silenced with a duck tape muzzle, Twilight looked out into the night and smiled. "I told you that you couldn't hide forever, it's only a matter of time..." Twilight and a few of the stronger unicorns walked to the Apple farm, with rope bundles and duct tape levitating along side them.

Author's Note

Happy Easter everypony!

So yeah, this chapter actually came out at a not-so-late time which really surprised me! Anyways, I realize I haven't given you the surprise I mentioned from the last chapter, but just be patient, it'll come when it's ready. For now, just enjoy your holiday involving a bunny who lays eggs breaking into ponies homes and leaving baskets full of candy and in the meantime I'll see you all in court... or in therapy, whichever comes first...