Cortana? This has got to be a prank... Right?

"Kick,Punch,kick,punch," Said John "Armor Ability, Void bomb, Darkness bomb."

'How did I start battling guards?' You ask?

~1Hour ago~

"That was risky, John."

"What the f*** could I do instead?" Asked John angrily, taking it out on manticore's and other bad animals.

"Uhhhhh... Killed them?"

"Really."

"Okay. Maybe not."

~Another 15 minutes later~

"Halt in the name of Celestia!" Ordered one of the twenty royal guards.

"Soooooo... Take 'em down Chief!"

"Okay." He said and then proceeded to kick and earth blast two of them, he then used copy to get magical abilities and then shoot a magical beam at one and then used Discordian Reality to pull out a... Rahkshi? Whatever. We both continued to own the royal guards till one was left. Which I fire blasted.

And then more came.

~30 Minutes Later~

Annnnnnd done.

"Who are you then, Rahkshi?"

~Another 30 Minutes later~

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Well, I send you back!"

"What'd I miss?"

"Cortana, give me a frag grenade."

"Here."

"Time to use Discordian Reality."

A portal opened in front of me and I gave a speech into the frag.

"I am the Survivor of falling from the moon. Twice. Destroyer of the Didact, Destroyer of 3 armies, The Ark and Halo 04. I... Am Master Chief.

"Nice"

"Thanks." He said, dropping it in the portal.